Hell illuminated, or, Sancy's Roman Catholic confession wherein are such lessons, which if studiously practis'd, 'tis much to be fear'd, the Devil himself will turn Jesuit.

THE CATHOLIC CONFESSION OF THE Sieur de SANCY. FIRST BOOK. (Book 1)

CHAP. I. Of the Authority of the Church, and of its Head.

IT has been a Controversie frequently debated in these times, whether the State be in the Church, or the Church in the State. Amongst those that would have the State to be in the Church, there are some who alledge, That it would not be universal, should it be cir∣cumscrib'd within the State. Others, ta∣king the same things for Examples, Do ye not see, say they, how the State submits it

self to the Church? How this haughty King, after so many Armies vanquish'd, so many flourishing people, so many great Princes, his Enemies, layd at his feet; at length for all his Grandeur, prostrating himself at the feet of the Pope, receives his commands at the hands of his Monsieur Confessor▪ and Cardinal D' Ossat. Which two were layd upon their bellies jigg by jowl, like Macka∣rel upon a Gridiron, while you might have read half a Mass. They say moreover, That there was the same play to be play'd over again, between his Majesty and Monsieur the Legat, but that was to be done gently and under the Rose. They who would turn the Holy See quite out of doors, in∣stance the boldness of the Court, which be∣ing a Fugitive, as far as Tours, yet ventur'd to burn the Bulls of his Holiness by the hand of the common Hangman. After that, they tell of a second piece of Audacity of the Court united together, which was the Banishment of the Jesuits out of France, a high contempt of the Romish See. But I answer to that, That we have no reason to repent of it. Witness the good Catholic City of Tournon, and in imitation of her, the Parliaments of Tholouse and Bourdeaux, who both, in spight of Fate re-established these stout Champions of the Church.

Thus you have the proofs of the one and the other side by Consequences and Effects. Now for proofs by reason; and let no man wonder at this way of proceeding. It has been the humor of France for many years to mind the effects, and not the reason of things. Then I must tell the Reader, that a man may sooner venture his Neck and get a hundred thousand Crowns, then disen∣gage himself out of the labyrinth of such dif∣ficult affairs. I shall therefore only say this, That I believe the Pope to be more then all the rest of the World together, nay then all the Saints, and all the Angels. I'll shew ye certain passages which Monsieur Confes∣sor gave me, to confirm me in this opinion. Bernard of Sens calls him Prince of the Bi∣shops, Heir of the Apostles; for antiquity of dignity, Abel and Noah; as a Patriarch, A∣braham; as to his Order, Melchisedec; as to his Priesthood, Aaron; as to his Sove∣raignty, Moses; in Judgment a Samuel, in power a Peter, in authority, Christ. I re∣member the words of one of the Bulls of Clement the 6th. The Pope is to be admir'd; The Pope is the astonishment of the World: Neither God nor Man, but as it were between both. The Glossary upon q. Sect. 1. cap. 17. is positive, That the Pope is no man. I have also read the Distinct. and Canon, Proposuit

de con. prae. 19. c. Si humanarum. Where it is pithily observ'd, That the Pope, accor∣ding to the latitude of his Authority, has power to give a dispensation against any Law. And 5. Transub Epist. 5. in Gloss. he explains himself farther, saying, That the Pope can turn injustice into justice. Monsieur Confessor, never admire at these last passages, when I shall tell ye, by way of reinforcement, that the Pope can make infecta facta; that is, he can make Some∣thing out of Nothing, and Nothing of Some∣thing. By one History alone will I under∣take to prove, that the Pope can do all this. That high and mighty Pope, Sixtus Quin∣tus, who in his time caus'd above four thou∣sand pair of shoulders to want heads; and envy'd the Queen of England for nothing more, but that she had the Honour to cut off a Queen's Head; who put down the Bawdy houses, and consequently took away fourscore thousand Duckets of rent from the Church. He that was wont say, There's no trusting in this Religion, for it will not last. He whom the King call'd Mr. Sixtus, who was made Pope, that he might bring his Hoggs to a fair Market. This Great Perso∣nage having unfortunately entred into a Contract with the Devil, and having read how Alexander the Sixth, for that he had

usurp'd the Chair by force, was couzen'd in his term of years, made his bargain abso∣lutely for seven years; but notwithstanding all his wit, the Scrivener he had to deal with, found a way to get loose from his Articles. For after he had raign'd five years very formidably, he fell sick the last day of the five years, at what time there came to his Bed-side in the sight of his chief Chamberlain, a certain grave Abby-Lubber, with whom the Pope entred into a very high Contest, insomuch that they in the next Room could hear the Pope call the t'other perfidious; asking him withal whe∣ther he had not promis'd him seven years, and whether there were any more then five past? To which the Devil's Envoy made answer with a loud voice; 'Tis true, said he, I promis'd thee seven years, and there are but five elaps'd, and yet for all that I am no perfidious Person. For do but re∣member, That when you had a desire to put to death the Son of such one—for such a Crime,—when you were inform'd by Justice, that Legally he could not be put to death, till he was Seventeen years of Age— I say then, do but remember, how you said you would lend him two of yours: Now five and two make seven, and therefore you must go, there's no remedy. By this

Story we find the absolute power of the Pope, and a confirmation of the fore-men∣tion'd Characters of his Grandeur. For by putting the young Lad illegally to death, he dispens'd with Law against Law. That Justice which should have sav'd the Lad, he turn'd into Injustice. And the Devil and he made out the third point: For the Bar∣gain which was for seven years, at first im∣perfect, by the power of the Pope and the Devil became a good Contract, as the De∣vil made it out by the Pope's own Act and Deed. And therefore that buffonly Presi∣dent of Beaulieu, when the Pope had ex∣communicated the Mass which had been said when the King was crown'd, together with all that assisted at the Coronation; did not much amiss, according to his ram∣bling Divinity, to say, That where there was an Assembly of Ecclesiastics, it was such because there was a God among them. The Chancellor going about to reply, By the body of— Sir, cry'd the Belswagger, you shall grant me that God was present at that same Council. The Chancellor not daring to deny; the other demands, if any Here∣tic were there, who durst venture to bound the puissance of his Holiness? Every one shrug'd up his shoulders, choo∣sing rather to allow the Excommunica∣tion

of the God of Heaven, then limit the power of a God upon Earth.

CHAP. II. Of Traditions.

WE puzzle the Heretics infinite∣ly, when we demonstrate to them, that the Authority of the Church and Traditions teach us to acknowledge the Scriptures, although the Canonical Writings teach us not to acknowledge ei∣ther Traditions or the Authority of the Church. In truth, we must hold to the Legends of the Church, and not to Cano∣nical Scripture, otherwise the Heretics will goad us to Eternity with their Texts out of the Bible. But that I may seem to have done something more, I made use of this advice, not to reck'n for Tradition-Mongers those ancient Doctors of the six first Ages, wherein the Church was not as yet fully nobilitated; when her Sumptuous Buildings were not as yet rear'd; when the Popes liv'd up and down in Caverns, and

in short might pass for the first Promoters of her troubles: at what time the Church smelt somewhat strong of Huguenotism, or rather of the Faggot. I say they wrote no∣thing boldly or over-confidently in those first times: & therefore I allow for Tradi∣tions, the Books corrected by the devout Council of Trent. For some time after that, we have seen at the Court, and we have still some Doctors, who affecting squeamishness of Conscience, play the De∣mi-Huguenots, and Appointers of Religion. This ought to be a fair example to Monseiur Benedict, and his Compagnons, Berenger, and Chauveau in their Deaths of Melan∣cholie or Poyson. These Hero's would fain persuade the suppression of a Book, en∣titl'd Index Expurgatorius. Accordingly, it was one Result of the Council of Trent, whereby all Printers were commanded to expunge or correct the most boistrous passa∣ges, wherewith the holy Fathers had be∣smear'd the belief of the Church, with a Ca∣talogue of such Sentences as it was conve∣nient either to stifle or amend, to the end the Heretics might make no use of them. These Prudent Worldlings, esteeming themselves wiser then the Council, would needs have this Expurgatorie Index suppres'd, to conceal••, as they said, the shame of

the Church, which was not to plead for its self upon false Evidences. But they have display'd the shame, by thinking to hide it: For about 11. or 20. years since, the Book (I mean a copie of it, sign'd by the Coun∣cil) fell into the hands of the Family of Antwerp, and is now carefully preserv'd a∣mong the Rarities of the Elector Palatine. And which is worse, some Doctors, among the rest Baronius, who were chosen to make this Reformation, are reformed them∣selves, and have confess'd in their printed writings, that one of them had for his part alone, alter'd above sixty of those passages. Thus the design of the Coun∣cil being discover'd, in going about to sup∣press this Book, we might suppress the Authority of the Church, and make it que∣stionable, whether it be not lawful to change the Expositions of the Doctors, and something of the Text of the Anci∣ents? Certainly, the Affirmative is to be maintain'd, and that the Church ought to change both the old and new Testament, without bogling any more at the Transla∣tion of the Septuagint, then at the Trans∣lation of fifteen Score, if we would have all the main Principles on our side. The Primates of Bourges and Lyons, would dis∣card out of the number of Traditions, the

Conformities of St. Francis, the Pattern of Wisdom, the Garden of disconsolate Souls, Marial; the Sermons of Menot, Manipu∣lus Curatorum, Stella, Lavacrum Conscien∣tiae, Summa Peccatorum, dedicated to the Virgin Mary; the Golden Legend, the Book of Rates, and the Life of Christ. A Preacher whose name was Christi, preach'd at Nantes to the Ladies, in these words▪ My dainty quaint Ladies, if I find a Bible or a new Testament in any of your hands, you shall tast of my Whip: but have al∣ways between your fingers the good Vita Christi, the Vita Christi, who made Vespa∣sian and Titus Christians, and brought a∣bout the design of the Siege of Jerusalem, to revenge the Death of Christ; and then he condemn'd and vilifi'd all other Histori∣ans, to establish the truth of that Book. But one of those Prelats might sooner have instructed himself to believe in God▪ then us to believe in Him; and it is as difficult a thing to make us quit our love of those Books, as to make him quit the love of his kind Sister. For those books are the only foundation of our belief. Neither do they allow the defeat of Monsieur Cayer. They say, that the Tales of St. Francis were made at Geneva. That's well for the Alco∣ran of St. Francis. However the studies

of these abstemious Find-faults, are full of those books of the old Impressions. 'Twere better for them to defend them, and say that they were made with a good Intenti∣on. As when we read of St. Francis living with his Wife of Snow. We ought to speak the best, and say the good man did it to cool not only his own naturally sinful heat, but as a president to his poste∣rity. When he preaches to the flesh▪ there∣by it is intimated, that when his offspring should preach, they would require a mute Auditory. When he preach'd it up for a Miracle, that God would not suffer the flesh to be drown'd in the Deluge, thereby he insinuates that the Miracles of the Church of Rome ought to proceed from natural causes, as Richeome labours to make out. When he calls the Wolves his Bre∣thren, and stroaks them with his hand, he did it to show, that the Franciscans should be rough footed, and surprizers of the In∣nocent sheep. He calls the Swallows his Sisters, because their Brothers like them, all morning prayer time, build their nests i'the Country-mens Houses. When the Angel told St. Francis, as he was at his de∣votions, that Antichrist should be born of his Order, that was, because it should not be thought an Indignity to make the Fran∣ciscan

Friers Popes. And when he disrob'd himself before the Women, and set up his Crucifix, what was that but to display the beauties of Nature, as not having eaten of the Tree of Knowledg; and to lay open, if not the understanding, yet the naked∣ness of Father Adam? When St. Germain raises a dead Ass, wherefore should not he, out of his brotherly love, and Asinine commiseration, being alive, give life to Asses, who had bin the death of so many at St. Germans de prez, and Auxer∣rois. Blase of Anjou, who threaten'd his Son with Excommunication, if he offer'd to read one line in the Scripture, especial∣ly the Commandments, at length at the intercession of Aubraye a good Catholic, gave him leave to read the Maccabees. As for Frier Jacopon, when I was a Huguenot, there was nothing made me laugh like the Legend of that pious Saint; and among the rest, how he made Confession of his sins to one of his Brethren by signs.

These things seem absurd; but they work this effect among the people, as to lead them into a belief that there is no ab∣surdity in the World. And therefore it is, that St. Paul calls the preaching of these things the folly of preaching. From whence Monsieur Cayer draws this notable Syllo∣gism:

It pleases God to save Believers by the folly of preaching; the folly of preach∣ing is the preaching of Legends: therefore God is pleased to save believers by preaching of Legends. If any person requires the note of Universality, and insists, that no∣thing is to be concluded ex puris particular∣ribus, he may do well for the School-men: However to conclude from pure particulars is rather the Logic of a Banker, then a Scholar. The Legend of the Saints, is the Garden of the Soul. Images are the Books of the Ignorant. Yet in this Gar∣den there are certain Herbs to be found, which if they do no farther mischief, yet cause a general stupidity. A brave fellow, who understands the fashion of the World, knows what it is which the Country peo∣ple call Robbery. If he find that his dis∣consolate Soul is not able to change its way of living, he may see in the Legend, the bright example of a Knight, who without mercy rob'd the poor as well as the rich, and was acquitted for saying an Ave Marie once a day: and it is indeed the ge∣neral practice of the Souldiers at this time. If a Lady of the Court find in her disconsolate Soul, that she cannot pass for a devout Votaress, and a voluptuous Liver both at the same time, has she not where∣withal

to comfort her, like the Egyptian St. Marie, who from twelve years of age till she was grown contemptibly old, ne∣ver refus'd any man in her life? Are not the ancient Chronicles full of the noble acts of St. Mandlin? Do not the Legenda∣ry Poets tell us, how many persons of good Families have been forc'd by the power of her Enchantments to sell their Estates for her sake? How many other couragious Blades have valiantly cut their own throats, being jealous of her love? and yet she was no sooner exhausted with age, but she was presently canoniz'd. If any poor Priest have not the pour to preserve his Chastity, 'tis his fault, if he make not use of the Canon, Si quis Presbyter Concu∣binam non habuerit; and thereby be as shamelessly happy as Abbot Ephraim, who made no scruple, like Diogenes, to supply his wants in the open Market-place. There's the Authority of the Chapter, inter opera Charitatis, where it is said, that he that couples with a Magdalen, multum profuit in remissionem peccatorum. If any Bishop or Cardinal becomes amorous of his Page, let him comfort himself after the Example of St. Francis, who calls his Amours with Frier Maccus, sacred. As to what the said Book affirms, that St. Francis was all

inflam'd, beholding Frier Maccus, and that he often cry'd out the same day, as the one held the Chalice, and the other the little Cruises, transported with the fury of his love, praebe mihi teipsum: there is much to be collected from thence. I will tell ye bythe by, that you may hence conjecture where Monsieur Confessor lays his foundation, when he calls the Amours of Quailus, and his Master, Sacred; and whence this Title was first deriv'd. There is another book whom I have so often mention'd, which they would fain have quite extir∣pated, but the holy See would never per∣mit the loss. De Sparde was the first that labour'd in it these words, Habeat jam Roma pudorem, ejusmodi mores toto mundo prostitu∣ere desinat. Let Rome at length be asham'd, and cease to prostitute such Customes to all the World. This is the book of Rates, where a good Catholic may see the cheapness of sinning, and observe in a moment the price of forgiveness. Whoever shall deflour a Virgin, shall pay six groats. He that shall carnally know, by consent of parties, his own Mother, his Sister, his Cousin-German or his Godmother shall be acquitted for five groats; but if it be known publicly in the Church, not under six. He that kills his Father or his Mother, shall pay a Duc∣kat

and and five Cartines. I could tell ye more, but I shall rather let ye know that these things are to be seen in the Chapter of perpetual Expences. The book was printed at Paris in the year 1570. by Tous∣sain Denis in St. James-street at the Woodd'n Cross, being entitl'd Cancellaria Apostolica. A Poictovin asked me one day whether I could resolve him a quaint Question, why Sodomites were more zealous against the Hu∣guenots, then any of the Roman Catholics? I laugh'd at the Question at first, but after∣wards I call'd to mind, what I had heard from the mouth of the brave Marshal d' Au∣mont; There are none, said he, that so vi∣olently persecute us, as these Sodomites, and labour the utter expulsion of the Hugue∣nots. I remember'd also, that there are not any who so earnestly solicited the King's Conversion, as those who were most sus∣pected for that Crime. Which was the reason, that I resolv••d to understand the In∣terest of these Monsieur Catamites. You know, said the Poictovin, that there are se∣veral persons who are polluted with this peccadillo; who though they do not over-credulously believe that there is any Hell, or any Paradise, yet being still in doubts and fears, would, as the Decretalists say, make use of absolution by way of caution. Now

should a man come to an honest Divine and ask him by what means, a detestable sinner may be sav'd? He would reply, by embracing the death of Christ, with a true and sincere faith; by praying with a contrite heart, and a real repentance; by relying upon the mercy of God, and put∣ting on a resolution of amendment of life, and perseverance therein. But the mischief is, that the honest people of this age, are not easily allur'd to furnish themselves ei∣ther with this same Faith or Patience. Then comes the holy See, compos'd of persons of high birth, that carry a great sway in public affairs, who observing that such Soul-physic was not at all toothsome to great Personages, and being unwilling that Beggars and Tatterdemallions should out-brave Kings and Grandees with their The∣ological vertues in the other World, have found out a more pleasing and quaint Ex∣pedient. For if you ask a Jesuit con∣cerning that nice and intricate sin of So∣domy, he'l fit your humour better then a Country Parson. He'l send you to Cardi∣nal Sourdis, who by his Bull alone, shall acquit ye both of Sodomy and Incest. He will put about your neck a wreath of the last requests by Master Jacques David, Bi∣shop of Eureux. If you are a French

man, he will bestow upon ye certain grains of Paradise, out of the 19. Art. will cause ye to say certain words out of the 7. Art. as Domine Jesu, suscipe, and such like, which are printed at Paris by — And this Application rightly manag'd, gives ye a full and absolute Indulgence and Remissi∣on of all your sins, as well in reference to the Crime as to the Punishment. Which is expresly quoted by Monsieur Confessor as a new thing. For we said before, that Antiquity durst not be so hardy nor adven∣turous. Do ye think it strange then, that the Religion of the Huguenots, of which I will say what the learned Julian said of Christianism, that it was the Religion of Beggars and Vagabonds; I say, do you think it strange, that Kings, Princes, Pre∣lats, Cardinals, Popes and other Gran∣dees, should from the bottom of their hearts, abominate Huguenotism, and Hugue∣nots, and embrace a kind and favourable Religion, by the precepts and freedom whereof, the gates of Paradise are always open at a minutes warning? A Religion that affords Remedies for all transgressi∣ons and distempers, In Spain to the Cavalleros,* 1.1 in France to Lord and Pedant, in Germany to few, but in Italy to all in general.

CHAP. III. Of the Intercession of He-Saints and She-Saints.

OUr Gallants for want of Arguments prove the most part of the points in Contoversie by pleasant Similitudes, and jocular Comparisons. As for Example you shall see how we prove the Intercession of the He-Saints, and She-Saints. 'Twas ne∣ver known that all persons whatsoever went higglede pigglede to present their Petitions to the King, but by the Media∣tion of others, as Princes, Princesses, Coun∣sell••rs of State, and Masters of Request. Er∣go, we must believe that the Male and Fe∣male Saints order the Affairs of Heaven, as we order our affairs on Earth. And here I might undertake to prove that God never concerns himself with the affairs of this World, by the help of the same compari∣son. True it is, that that Heretic Rosny will have him take another course; and acts the Publican and the honest man both to∣gether, contrary to the Maxim, That two con∣traries

cannot subsist in the same subject. I hope that one of the two will submit by the assistance of my Conversion, and the Inter∣cession of the Saints. Who doubts the Ef∣ficacy of Saints Intercession? Consider that no crimes have been so great within these 15 years, but that both the crime and the pu∣nishment have been quite abolish'd by their Prayers. No services have been so praise∣worthy, but that they, who thought to steal a reward, without the Intercession of these holy Persons, have been deceiv'd, and have lost their time and the acknowledgment which they deserv'd. This is that which Hortman observ'd in his Book de Regno Ʋulvarum. I shall have no great trouble to persuade them to believe this point, who have had business to do since my raigne. The General of the League having but two places that held out for him, could not re∣concile himself with this King as he did with the other on purpose to entrap him. By that he gain'd more than by catching cold in his Trenches. The Raigning Saint had given him a general pardon, and plac'd him in the highest place of the Terrestrial Paradise. Madam de Montpensier, whom we would hang in Effigie, has in the same manner expiated the Assassination of the late King. Villeroy has also luckily made

his peace the same way. Sourdis the Oncle recover'd Chartres, and that head which totter'd upon his shoulders, but they did not give him the Master-ship of the Horse, because the Pages began to ride uneasily, which produc'd the following short Lam∣poon.

And must Sourdis lose his wages? What's the Crime that thus enforces? Oh! he spurrs the little Pages, Instead of spurring the great Horses.

Without the help of this Saint, Le Grand had also been expell'd; but he carry'd a Candle to the Saint rather then to his me∣rits. I have tak'n away my sons from Ro∣chel, and will not have them any more to study either Greek or Hebrew; but will or∣der 'em to learn the Sciences of Monsieur de Lignerac, Varenne, Cachat, and La Bastide, who will teach them to say their Ora pro nobis's with a good Grace. Let 'em know their hours according to the Custom of Chartres; say yes, and ask what was said, and to faign being a fool, be so in good earnest. If they see any nastiness at Court, I would have them to be punish'd if they have Noses to smell it. Let 'em learn, like Monsieur d' Espernon the little Images of the

Court, assist them to wipe their tayls; nay offer their tongue, if there be neither Linnen nor Paper in the way. By that means they shall obtain an Intercession, and that Inter∣cession is All-sufficient. Lignerac can do nothing but laugh; he that is the Amalga∣ma or Cement of the two houses of Estrees and Lorain. Cachat knows more than on∣ly how to speak French. He it was that made the Peace of Provence. Varenne began to learn to read but last Winter, and yet he made up the Peace of France at the same time. Intercessions thus bestow the merit, as well as the reward. And therefore we have it thus in our Prayer-Books, Da nobis ut mereamur fieri participes, &c. Words which the Huguenots that laugh at them, do not understand at all.

CHAP. IV. Of Purgatory.

GEntlemen, since you Courtiers will have a Purgatory, we must of neces∣sity find out a place for this Purgatory, without going to seek it in St. Patrick's hole, as Henry Stevens discourses in his A∣pology for Herodotus. I find what he says to be very smooth and pleasing, but it is not at all approv'd by the Sorbon. Tru∣ly were I to manage this business like a Divine, I fear me, I should be very much puzzl'd. I went and consulted Monsieur Confessor, who laugh'd at their Curiosity; I ask'd him, where any mention was made of Purgatory in the Holy Scriptures: But he produc'd me nothing but dark and doubt∣ful Sentences, whence there was nothing of Truth to be collected. I enquir'd con∣cerning the Fathers; he told me, St. Austin spake of Purgatory in his 11. Book upon Genesis. In his Comment upon St. John, Treat. 47. And in his Book of the City of God c. 8. And in several other places, but finding nothing to the purpose, I resolv'd to surcease all farther Theological Scrutinies.

to say truth, my Divinity-reading has quite bauk'd me; and I defie the whole Sorbon to tell me where it is. I also desire to know where that third party is, so much talk'd of in France; the dread whereof strook a far∣ther stroak to the King's Conversion then that of Purgatory. Now I maintain that I find this same Purgatory, and this third Party are lodg'd both together at Nogent. Some there are that place Purgatory in Au∣vergne, where they have also confin'd the Count of Auvergne. But he is deliver'd from this Ambulatorie Purgatory at this fortunate juncture of time, when all the fair Rooms in Paradise are all richly hung, and magnificently furnish'd for the Sons of Strumpets. He has nothing but laugh'd at the overturning of his Coach-man, and is ready to re-establish in that Sacred place those Amours, of which he was instructed in his absence. There are some other little Purgatories in France, but they make no great noise, because that pardons are so cheap there. The Grand Purgatory is then at Nogent, where the Count of Soissons at his Vestals fire, purifies his own Train, which is the Third Party; there where he hears talk of the joys of the Paradise of the Court, and laughs at them after the manner of St. Medard. Some Angels or Mercuries, such

as Varenne, will visit him as they pass by: and they say, he will take leave of his good Lady, and return to undergo his full suffe∣rings. The other imaginary accomplices of the Third Party, wandering thereabout, as be∣ing vagabond Souls for want of Earth and Bastions to interr them. They farther say that Nogent is a very proper place to play at Fiste-Cuffs in; and that the Third Party which constrain'd the King to his Conver∣sion, will soon compel him to persecute the Huguenots, or to make his condition alter∣native. The Count of Lude, having some∣time since tak'n me for his Chieftain, ask∣ed of me whether I did not think his for∣tune to be very good. When you ride Post, said I, do you take any pleasure in a Jade whose knees are brok'n? He answer'd me, no. Consider then, that when this great Captain quitted the Deceas'd King's Party, on purpose to turn Huguenot; and then left the Huguenots, for that they had seen him set his tayl in the Manger at Courtrac, when he mutiny'd against all the appearances of the battells, and avenues of the Duke of Parma, when he ravish'd Madam invisibly, he has a Cure for all these accidents, as having seven times clapt his knees upon the ground. Now my dear friend Monsieur Le Comte, would you lay your Saddle upon an over-ridden

Hackney, with broken knees to boot? By such arguments as these have I seduc'd the Constable of the Third Party out of the Pur∣gatory of Nogent. Laverdin would have thrust his Nose in; but they demanded mo∣ney for his entrance; he told me he had made such a regulation in the first Army of the Third Party, that it should never oppress the people. And in truth I find that the Great Officers of the Exchequer and the Magazines have had leisure enough.

To this purpose they quote me the An∣swer which the King made, when the Count wrote to him, that he lay there to pray to God. The King to be quit with him sent him word, That he would take care to the end his prayers might be the more perfect, that they should not want fasting. The Thunder of St. Denis was found to be too violent for a Purgatory-fire, and forc'd the Thunderer to surcease his Determination. The Tayl of Bourbon, whom the Huguenots call the head of Marotte, and which Mon∣sieur William never took for a man but for a shadow; This diminutive Priest turn'd over his Breviary, and met by good fortune with this Text of the Gospel, Non habet fili∣us hominis ubi requiescat caput; and there∣upon he said to Bellozone (he for whose sake

it was reported, that my Wife is fair a∣mong the Asses;) that is to say, that my Brother has no place that holds for us. But Monsieur William opposes him, and says, that there are four places still left for the Third Party, places well protected from the fire of Heaven, Sodom, Gomorra, Adma, and Iseboin. The Author of the Visions of the said Master William treats very largely upon this subject. I shall conclude this Chapter, with a Remonstrance to the Au∣thors of the Third Party, and of the third Place. Know then most zealous Catholics, that this Party is neither condemn'd nor absolv'd, as having done neither good nor harm, and therefore only reduc'd to Purga∣tory. Your misery is, that you are not authoriz'd by men of courage, but only by such as call cowardice, patience. The Pope has not establish'd Purgatory only by words. It was not your business to raise so many Disputes about the Princes of the blood; the Pope has setl'd Purgatory by fulmina∣tions, and you must have an Army of Thun∣derers for your design. He shews the Keys of St. Peter, as infallible Openers, not only of the Gates of Heaven, but of the purses of all Fools in general. There's a necessity also for the pains of St. Paul to be even with those that oppose the Decretals, and to

establish the Third place. Thus when the Lutherans would dispute it out, they were made to feel the fire of Purgatory by burn∣ing them, that mis-believ'd it. When the Huguenots attacqu'd the Spiritual Ca∣nons, they made use of the Temporal. So that upon occasion I have compar'd the Third Party to Purgatory which was only in Potentia. The other was never in Act, and indeed the Question is of no great Im∣portance, witness—who at sixty years of age, marry'd a young maid of twenty, of whom he grew as jealous as a Tigre, and of a most jealous old Fool was made a most Catholic Cuckold. A∣gainst which he us'd all the Applications of Hans Carvell. His friends asking him one day, how he came to play the fool so? Af∣ter he had rubb'd his Ears, and wip'd his Fore head, scratching the hinder part of his Pole, with a down-cast look upon the Evi∣dences of his frailty; These Huguenots, said he, are the cause of my misfortunes. For in former times our Ancestors had a resting place to bait by the way, as they went to Paradise, but now these Tatterdemallions have dismantl'd Purgatory, we must go di∣rectly to Heaven, therefore I got me thi•• Hackney to ride now and then, as I saw occasion, but never dreamt she would hav•• stumbl'd at this rate.

CHAP. V. Of Justification by Works, and of other Acts of Merit.

ACcording to this holy method of ar∣guing points of Divinity by Simili∣tudes, there is no necessity for all Christians to trust to the Intercession of Saints. For there are a sort of honest people and of very good fashion, who gain Heaven without it, by their own brave and good deeds; as by the taking of one Rouen, to be made Com∣manders of Tholouse, Narbonne, Carcasson, and other places. Another to be made Go∣vernour of Orleance, Bourges, and the depen∣dancies, another of Poictiers; another of the three Frontiers of Bretaigne. These are works by God's Authority, which have been justifi'd; and without saying, ut mereamur, they have merited, or at least obtain'd ge∣neral pardon and favour. They that wrought these meritorious deeds have guelt the public Exchequers and are justifi'd thereby. Let the Heretics with their St. Paul preach Faith and Grace as long as they

please, these with their St. James F.— St. James of Spain, have prov'd their faith by their works. Upon this ground it is, vain Huguenots, that we must not admit Ju∣stification of works to be difficult, after such works have been justifi'd. They have ob∣tain'd a Law, and this Law has been a Law of Grace; but when you shall have an oc∣casion to require a Law, yours shall be so lean and meagre, and got with so much trouble, that you shall be forc'd to confess with me, that there is a necessity of Impetus by works, and not of faith; you do not be∣lieve in the Popes Indulgences. Now mark but the Indulgencies of a King, who is not a Pope, and we shall find that these good works which you make scruple to justifie, are become so meritorious as to have gain'd poor Villars the Admiralty of France. Other Marshals, though they have no Mints of their own, yet can coyn what money they please. And whereas other superstitious Hypocrites spend their time & their money to buy pardons for so many thousand years; these can shew ye thousands of Crowns got in a few months. Insomuch that the pay∣ments of the merits of the League being cast up, the whole sum amounted to above se∣ven millions, seven hundred and sixty thousand Crowns. More then this, these

good works have extended their benefits and supererogations to others, who have taken lesser Towns and Villages under the chief Leader, so that the Followers have been canoniz'd for the super-abounding merit of the Commander. I do not bring into this rank, either Merceur or Espernon. They are yet to know more, what it is to trust in works. Now then let us see who they are that are so diligent in prese••ving their faith to their King and Countrey, believing That the just shall live by faith. These are they That do deeds worthy of Repentance, but not good works, not considering that faith without works al-a-mode is a dead faith. Whence it comes to pass, that some are starv'd to death; others attend in the low Court of the Loure, mangl'd Captains, consumptive Majors, maim'd Soldiers, wooden-leg'd Engineers, Spies and Dis∣coverers, with their Stockins out at heels, that walk all together in the Switzers-Hall, and have nothing to do, but to ex∣claim against Madam Ingratitude in genere petitorio, non suasorio. Captains carrying the Basket, the poor Soldiers the Mattock; some shewing their wounds, others num∣bring the fights they have been in; the E∣states they have lost, some mutt'ring libels, others modelling a Reformation, and others

studying where to get a meal upon the Coin of Reputation. But some person or other will say, have not all these poor Miscreants by your relation toil'd sufficiently? Tell us some of their works; I answer, they were works of Iniquity, in regard it is an ill thing to serve the ingrateful: And Limaille re∣proaching the King with the long continu∣ance of his services, and his patience; and how he had render'd himself irreconcileable to his neighbours for having faithfully exe∣cuted his Majestie's commands, concluded his discourse with telling him he had not wherewithal to buy himself a Dinner: Ven∣tre St. Gri, said the King, who was not wont to swear after the Roman manner, my Kingdom has been a pillaging for these so many years last past, why did not you rob something for your self? Rob as the rest do. Nothing, shews that works of that na∣ture are not works; and by consequence unworthy of reward. The poor man con∣tinu'd to his dying day, and considering his condition, carry'd off the greatest share of the honour of the Siege of Amiens, where he dy'd in the Mines of the Wall; and this is call'd doing nothing. He that would see this subject more learnedly handl'd, let him read the King's Apology, compos'd by Monsieur Catrier, then chief Minister to Ma∣dam.

The King shew'd it me for the style of Madam de Rohan. An Apology full of prevarication, which Roquellaure hearing read, cry'd out, Mort dieu, They that wrote this, how much do they know of our busi∣ness? Some there are who accuse La Ruffie, in regard that after a discourse concerning the humor of the King, which was to punish good Services, and recompence Crimes, he said to them that complained of his Majesty, you ought to blame your selves not him. For since you understand his humor, if you expect rewards, you should do well to me∣rit them by works worthy of recompence. After that, he speaks of those who have the honour to be a kin to his Majesty; and those he renders worse us'd, then the mea∣ner Servants; which makes me suspect La Ruffie to be the Author of this writing, wherein he calls himself one of the King's kinsmen. Witness the speech that his de∣ceas'd Mother made to Madam at Bergerac, I recommend, said she, to your care that poor knave, La Ruffie. You have more reason to love him, then any other; For the same rea∣son that I have known the King your Father. So have many others besides you, reply'd Madam. To which the Perigordine made answer, so vostra gratia prou intendi so l'honordi die garde & de la Compania, Carnaument.

Afterwards La Ruffie was honor'd with the Office of a Spie at Chastellerault, where he did a deserving act, for he stole certain pa∣pers, and was made Counsellor of State, and Cuckold general under pay. He that desires to read more of this Story may read the Last Will and Testament of Salbeuf, a Gentleman of Gascognie, who though he were a good Catholic, accompany'd the K. in his flight from Paris untill the Siege, sold seven Horses which belong'd to his Train, making known to the King his daily losses. At length shame drave him away from the Court. But the desire he had to dye in his Prince's service, detain'd him in the Army, where he listed himself in one of the Com∣panies of the Guards, commanded by his younger Brother. It happen'd that when the Cannons had ruin'd the shops under the Gate St. Honorè, this very person de∣sir'd to be set the outmost Sentinel in the Ruins: whereupon, the King visiting his Guards, and his Approaches in the night-time, the Captain from the corner of a house, shew'd him his Eldest Brother. The King seeing himself touch'd so to the quick, went away without speaking one word. Some few days afterward, this poor Gentleman having again try'd the inclination of his Prince, at length o'recome with grief and

labour of body dy'd; and though unlear∣ned, made his Will; wherein he first beg'd pardon of God and then of the King his Master, for having serv'd him in his Amours with Katharine de Luc d' Agen, and several others; some of whom were also themselves starv'd to death with the Children which they had by the King. There was also much about the same time another Will made by the younger Son of the Chancel∣lor of the Hospital, who having left his E∣state, betook himself to attend the King in all his afflictions, and to stick to the Faith and Religion of his party, who thinking to have found a Sanctuary for his Errors at Quillebeuf, which of a small Village was made a Garrison, was shamefully repuls'd and disgrac'd by the Sieur du Plessis. There∣upon pronouncing with his own mouth, the Sentence of his death, he call'd for Pa∣per, and made his Will, which contain'd much of the same subject: but more openly and plainly detecting the King's secrets: but his servants, violated the last commands of their Master, and surrender'd up the Copy, which as they say fully justifi'd my opinion concerning the Justification of Works.

CHAP. VI. Of Miracles and Pilgrimages.

THE Deceas'd Cardinal, of happy me∣mory, in regard of his birth, as be∣ing of the house of Lorrain, understand∣ing that the Marshal de Fervaques, of hap∣py memory also, had discover'd a young Girl, whom Belovet the Priest, otherwise call'd the holy man, had instructed how to counterfeit a Demoniac, or person possess'd with a Devil, on purpose to make out a Miracle the Easter following; this great Pre∣late pronounc'd Fervaques guilty of a high peice of Impiety, saying, That though Mi∣racles were false, they were useful to make out pious frauds: and certainly he did a very great kindness to the Country; for in a place uninhabited before, in three years there were built up above fourscore Houses, and fifty Inns, which nevertheless were not sufficient to entertain the Pilgrims that came from all parts, and some of them Personages of great Quality living in other Countries. Now, were there no other Miracle then that of the building of the

Houses, the far spreading, and the long continuance of an opinion firmly and really believ'd without any foundation, me∣thinks there is no Schismatic, but should con∣fess it to be somewhat strange; and indeed this it is which madds the Heretics, to see the people enflam'd with zealous intenti∣ons. True it is, that I would fain ad∣monish the good Fathers that manage these things to carry their business a litle more prudently and closely. He that taught the Demoniac of Laon to bid us labour the ex∣tirpation of the Hereticks or Huguenots was a mere fool; for, as Postell observes, That would seem to intimate that the Devil is the commander of our happiness. There∣fore when Prelats design any such Inven∣tions, which are not well laid, or well disguiz'd, they ought to dress them up a∣gain, polish and put a value upon them, not by opposing them, as did the Bishop of Angers when two young religious Friers, full of zeal, brought him a young Lady, ex∣actly instructed in demonology, who play'd her part so well, that she play'd the Devil for God's sake. The Bishop caus'd the Demoniac to be brought before him, and made a most nice inquisition into the busi∣ness. He demanded which were the most violent signs by which they conjectur'd

her to be so cramm'd with Devils. One of the Devil-masters made answer, That there were two things by which they knew the violence of her Torments; one was, if her skin were touch'd with any Cross, but e∣specially one that were made of the Wood of the true Cross; the other was, by her bounding, and leaping, and yelling, and roaring, when any Text of the Gospel was read to her. The Bishop had then about his neck one of those Crosses of which we shall speak in the Chapter of Relicques. For his Father, from whom I learnt the most secret passages of the deceas'd King's life, could not want Jewels that was so dex∣trous as he was, and so often entrusted with the King's Jewels. One of the Devil-teachers espying this Cross, pull'd up the Maid's Coats, almost as high as her Knee, as she lay upon the ground, and desir'd the Prelate to touch her skin gently with the Cross. Upon which this wicked Bishop pulls off his Cross indeed, but at the same time slily pulls out a Key out of his pocket, and touches the Girle's Leg; She, no sooner felt the cold of the Key, but she almost frighted the people out of their wits to see what Curvets and Capers she made. To make the second proof, the Bishop pull'd out of his pocket a Petronius

Arbiter, instead of his Breviary, and began to read Matrona quaedam Ephesi: With that she fell a foaming at the mouth, and won∣der-working at a prodigious rate, but when the Bishop came to read placitone eti∣am pugnabis amore? The Devil, who ne∣ver lov'd in his life, grew so impatient, that the poor Creature not able to endure his twinges, sounded away upon the floor: upon that, the Bishop, like a demi-Luthe∣ran, said, he could not smother such an imposture: but he had not read an ancient Doctor, who says 'tis better to let people go on in their Superstition, then spoil their Devotion. The Bishop was well reprov'd for his rashness, so that he did not shew himself so much a misbeliever to the se∣cond Demoniac that was presented to him, whose name was Martha, and brought by an honest Capuchin. She had two Devils within her, the one was call'd Belzebub, and the other Astarot. The first was a chur∣lish, boystrous, hectoring Devil, a great E∣nemy to the Huguenots; he fought with all the World, and he had drubb'd Mon∣sieur Matros of Angiers himself, had he not taken a good Cudgel in his hand, cry∣ing out, Mr. Fly-catcher Belzebub, if thou playest thy tricks with me, I will swinge thee like a Devil indeed. Astarot was an

honest Devil, young and gentle, who de∣sir'd that Martha should be well treated and handsomely clad; in which Equipage she was presented to the Clergy of Angiers. The Clergy desir'd that these two Devils of quality should be first examin'd by the Church. One of the Judges of the City said, that it concern'd their Honour, and upon the Examination of these two Spirits began to speak Latin, and then Greek; at that Belzebub began to be in wroth and told 'em, if they would, he would answer 'em as well in Greek as in Latin; but the Capuchin, to furnish the Devils with an excuse, reply'd, my friend Belzebub, you must know that here are Heretics in the Room, and therefore I advise ye not to speak at all. Then they went to posing of Astarot, but he excus'd himself by reason of his Youth. Belzebub made his excuse by saying he was a poor Devil. Upon that a∣rose a great dispute, whether the Devils were bound to go to School. The Lawyers maintain'd, that it was proper in quarto modo for Demoniacks to speak all Langua∣ges, as he did at Cartigni in Savoy, who was try'd in 16 Tongues: So that the Mi∣nisters at Geneva durst not attempt to exor∣cise him. They of Angiers were more hardy, who began thus, Commando tibi ut

exeas Belzebub & Astarot, aut ego augmen∣tabo vestras poenas et vobis dabo acriores. The second time he was more fierce, Jubeo ut exeatis super poenam Excommunicationis ma∣joris & minoris. The third time in a pelt∣ing chafe, Nisi vos exeatis, said he, vos re∣lego & confino in infernum centum annos plus quam Deus exordinavit. The Counsellours were about to laugh, and to have disco∣ver'd the fraud, but the people mutiny'd, and the Bishop to make his peace, alleg'd that he had suppress'd a Catholic Printer by Excommunication, who was about to print a book of Duplessis, and that if they pleas'd, he would excommunicate Haut∣tain of Rochel. That which is the great∣est blot to the Reputation of these incar∣nate mock-shews is, that the affront re∣dounds to our Lady of Ardilliers, there be∣ing a necessity for her Curate to cast out Devils by the power, and in the name of that good Lady, that scorn'd to stir at the name of God; which has mainly augment∣ed the devotion and number of her Pil∣grims. Some said, that this Miracle was reserv'd for precedencie's sake, to Frier Ange, Lugulis, Lievtenant to the grand Provost, and a great Adversary of these Fable-mongers, who would make us all turn Heretics; but if I believe 'em, quo

he, would I were hang'd. When I reply'd, that he did not do well to speak so plain∣ly, he made answer; that there were two thousand Souls in Heaven, and as many upon Earth, that would answer for him, that he was no Huguenot: we laugh'd at him, and would not suffer him to raise the Huguenots blood, seeing so many lame, blind, deaf, leaprous in mind, as well as body, flocking to our Lady of Ardilliers, and the whole Level full of comers and goers, who if they are not cur'd, it is for want of Faith, as Belovet told his Pil∣grims. And therefore you are not to be scandaliz'd, to see the diseased return as they came; for the operation of the Miracle never appears, till after beleif. Upon which score that Preist persuaded some of the blind to say they did see, and some of the deaf to say they did hear when they did not. He had never a trick in his budget to help the crooked and lame, and therefore they had nothing to say, but only this, that they could not go at all be∣fore they were brought thither. Accord∣ing to that, Obedientiam expostulat Eccle∣sia. Or as Bernardus Ochinus says, That the Miracles of the Mass are invisible. He that knows not his Trade, must shut up his Shop. Could but the Heretics convert

into Miracles, the Cures which are done at the Hot-baths, they would have a fine time on't, and therefore our people have dextrously canoniz'd the foundations of Pougnes, and every where else establish'd very passable natural Miracles. It behoves us to give a small sample of the Miracles of our good Lady, that shall endure to the Resurrection, by the notable story ensu∣ing; Madam de la Chastre, being become extraordinary jealous of her Husband, and of one of her Daughters, reconcil'd her self to the Sieur de Montigni, to whom she had bin an utter Enemy before the Wars. Neither was there any need of much invi∣tation to recal him to her friendship, in re∣gard he was very much a freind to La Marcoussi. The first office of Reconcilia∣tion was to kill La Berthelemy, the Disco∣verer of the Amours of the Father and the Daughter. And it was probable enough that the Murder would take effect, in re∣gard that she had in truth combin'd a∣gainst Montigni. After all satisfaction and content in the beleif of the execution, comes post to the House, riding a straddle, Madam Avoy de St. Lawrence of the waters, who after she had made the sign of the Cross, began the harangues of Nathan and David. Which being done, these two fair La∣dies

resolve after Confession, to go and do Penance at Ardeliers. Madam Avoye cau∣ses a new habit to be got for her self; the habit of Madam La Castre was put on by Suardaine, and she put on the habit of Ma∣dam Avoye: The Mistress call'd her self Madamoiselle de St. Lawrens, La Sour∣daine went by the name of Celestine. Be∣ing come to Ardilliers, the Curate of the place heard the Confession of the Murder, with sighs and sobs: but at length it was concluded first by the Curate, and then by Celestine, that our Lady should repair this loss rather by a Resurrection, then by an Intercession. By which means it came to pass that the poor — — which was thought to have bin buried, was rais'd a∣gain through the merits of the Curate. A most delicate Vision, when after nine days, Madam Celestine lying prostrate before the Altar; her Mistress, Madamoiselle St. Lau∣rens, holding the Curate by the tail, that the Host (for there were no other Witnesses) should behold the plump La Berthelemie come from behind the Altar; who throw∣ing her winding sheet to the ground came forward to pardon her Mistress, then habited like a penitent Sister; who presently fell upon her knees before the naked Soul, which she took at first for an apparition,

but finding her entire and every part safe and sound, Madam Avoye ran to embrace her, Madam La Chastre kiss'd her; after that they interkiss'd one another, and the Curate kiss'd 'em all four. The main trou∣ble was to cover the nakedness of the par∣ty risen, for the Pilgrims were out of pa∣tience to find the Doors of the Chappel so long shut: Thereupon Madam Avoye, and Madam La Chastre divided their own Vestments: Madam La Chastre gave her her▪ Petty-coat, and Celestine gave her her Cap, and so they carry'd her, crying out a Miracle, a Miracle, to the Curat's House, where Montigni lay conceal'd. He that would know the rest of the story, may see the Process in the Grand Council, which will not be cancell'd this Shrovetide, whatever it be the next. The Heretics commenting upon the Story, say, That it was a Sheep which Montigni murder'd, La Berthelemie her self had buri'd it in a Garret, and afterwards Madam de la Cha∣stre, when she had danc'd the Canaries a∣bout the blood, and sung an I am reveng'd, La Berthelemie return'd, and assisted to draw away the dead body, and so threw it into the house of Office. They say also, that it was Montigni who caus'd Madam Avoye to take Post, to scare that

enrag'd Woman out of her house, to the end that while she was from home, they might the better send away La Berthelemy from Boyancy, and convey her to Sau∣mur, where she might be useful to her Be∣nefactor, after her Resurrection, in his A∣mours. They say, That the Curate of Ar∣dilliers was pay'd in good flesh, which La Berthelemy provided for him during the nine dayes; but that he found Madam de St. Lawrence and Celestine so lean, that he was satisfi'd with one meal. I could tell ye the whole Story, the Prisons broken, the Skirmishes between the Guards of Ma∣reschal de la Chastre, and the Ladies Pages, the Preparatives of Marcussi to poyson his Wife. But the Secretary of Molier of Poictou has wrote a Relation thereof to celebrate the Miracle, after which I was sa∣tisfi'd that it went somewhat beyond the limits of Theology. I will conclude this Chapter with the Epitaph made at Ardilli∣ers by Madam Avoye in the style of St. Innocent.

Here she lyes, yet lyeth not; A Mutton in her place was put. Nor did Montigni, as they cry, Murder plump Barthelemie.

That she was kill'd is truely said, Because she shew'd her self so busie To pimp for Wife of young Marcussi; But the Preist of Ardilliers Rais'd her sweetly by his prayers, When fifteen Months she had bin dead.

If you find this Sepulcher in any other place, the treaty of Miracles requires it at your hands.

CHAP. VII. Of the Relicques and Devotions of the deceas'd King.

ONe of the things which mov'd me most of all to contemn the Church, was to read certain books, which are utterly suppress'd (heaven be prais'd) at this time, as the Book of the Merchands, the Christian Knight, Ransack and Fragments between the Pope and Christ. But above all, the In∣ventory of Relicques; with several others which I will not name, for fear of sending to read them Wits too curious of their Sal∣vation, and too much enclin'd to reject the

works of authentic writers. One day I saw an Austin Frier, with a wallet on his back, crying out, Will ye buy any Para∣dise. A Huguenot saw me scandaliz'd at the passage, and took his time to shew me all those little books which I forbid all persons whatever for the repose of their Consciences to read, who intend to live at rest and quiet in the Catholic Religion. It is known that I have bin thirteen times an Embassadour, for which reason, as I have travel'd at another mans Cost, I have bin so ill adviz'd, as to justifie this inventory of Relicques, and another book entitl'd, Le Cose mara vigliose del alma Città di Roma The wonderful things of our Mother Church of Rome, printed at the same place, Anno 1545. with Licence of the Superiours, by Giovanni Osmarino Gigliolo. This book confirms the Inventory which Calvin made. This I found in my Travels, and the reading of such books taught me to contemn the Relicques of Saints, finding 15 or 16 Bodies of St. Peter, 18 of St. Paul, seaven or eight Bodies of every Saint, ten thousand Martyrs buri'd in the compass of a small Chest; the prints of the footsteps of our Lord, and the An∣gels; the prints of the Buttocks of St. Fi∣acre en Brie upon a stone. At Josse in Au∣vergne,

in Catalogne and other places, a lin∣nen cloth of the Virgin's own fowling; when she might have made the same excuse that Rachel did. The feathers of the Angel Gabriel. The Hatchet of Joseph the Carpen∣ter. The stones of the Window where the Angel enter'd. The Virgin's Milk: At Maille∣rais, in una parva pursa satini Rubri, the pa∣rings of her nailes. Several heads of St. Denis and St. John; in sundry places some of his blood, which they say boils upon his Festival day; and the sneezings of the Holy Ghost. As I was a Heretic, I laught at these things, and wondred at such a dis∣sipation of the members of the Saints, e∣specially when we reproach the Huguenots for having so far disturb'd their repose, as they have done already▪ I am also to desire the pardon of Monsieur Confessour. For I must confess in good earnest in this Chap∣ter, That I have laught at the great blessings and benefits, which he caus'd to be print∣ed the last year, for the reasons which the Reader shall find by what follows. I have strange stories to tell, to prove the virtue of Reliques. For I protest, I had rather see the Huguenots laugh at the great power and efficacies of St. Goyaux, then publish such stories as these, were they not com∣mon to Lacquayes and Pages. For we

ought to conceal the Vices of our Princes: but since they are discover'd, we must seek to defend them by the authority of the Sta∣tutes of the Holy See. St. Luke was the first that discover'd the Mystery. For he fled to Brouage, when La Sarbarante and the Angel, which he counterfeited, to ter∣rifie his Master and rescue his own Carcass, were discover'd by his companion, the Duke of Joyeuse. Rochefort was too blame, to make the Anagram of St. Luke, Cats in cul. He poor boy abominated that sort of Villany, and was absolutely forc'd to it the first time; the King causing him to take a book out of a Chest, the cover of which the grand Prior and Carmelle clapt down upon his Reines; and this they call'd pri∣vately among themselves, taking the Hare in a trap. So clear it is that this honest Gentleman was forc'd to the trade, and thereupon so terrifi'd his Master, that he had either sorely repented or dy'd for it, had not the Duke of Joyeuse discover'd the en∣terprize, to prevent the utter ruine of his fortune. I do not think I do ill, to disco∣ver the story of the Tapistry-maker; for the King seeing him at the top of his two lad∣ders wiping the dirt from the Candlestics, became so enamour'd of him, that he fell a weeping before he went forth, and call'd

out for Monsieur Le Grand to be sent for to him, who to him himself discover'd the love of one ey'd Reveillon, Captain of the Guides, who was laid hold upon, through impatience of expecting a young guide which he had promis'd; and those Amours of the Duke, and of Espernon, and He, when upon the very day of the death of the deceas'd King, he fell upon his knees in the Chamber, between the deceas'd King and him that is now living, before two hundred Gentlemen, and which is worse, the greatest part of them Hugue∣nots, at what time he cryed out, with tears in his eyes, Cousin, pardon me, for the King forc'd me to it at first, and I have not taken your place, to do you any wrong. Espernon asham'd, but better adviz'd, re∣ply'd, you talk like a Woman, I know not what you mean. Siblot at a public au∣dience, the King having sent for him to make sport, and inform'd him touching Master — who to cause him to re∣store a Livery Horse, fail'd in his bargain, to tax him with so much violence concern∣ing his Governour, but because he does not well explain his meaning, I shall say no more of it. However Loignac went a∣way snobbing and crying all the way to Poictiers, where being visited by the chief

of the Town, who thought him still in fa∣vour, he made them sad complaints of his Honour lost, and of his being turn'd out of Service and not paid, almost all at the same time. After came to light those of the Wife of Salettes, by means of a Let∣ter taken, among the Baggage of the Duke of Joyeuse at Coutras. St. Severine, for this very act afterwards call'd the wild Colt, having escap'd out of the King's Ca∣binet, by the overturning of Duhalde and Soupitre, who kept the doors of the two high Chambers, fled among the Guards to tell the Marshal d'Aumont, that the King had sent Montigni to find him out; and that he, joyful to be admitted into the Ca∣binet, made hast away thither, where the King demanding of him, Who that Mistres•• was, for the sake of whose love he could never have his company, and he again re∣plying in brok'n French, that if he had •• Mistress of Gold, he would serve none but hi•• Majesty, the King made answer, I find yo•• take the Womens part, but yet you a•••• not ignorant of the sacred and philosoph••cal Love, who I, said St. Severin, I am •• Souldier, and no Philosopher. Here th•• dispute ended. For at the same time th•• Master laid hold of his Codpeice, Montig•• flew to his neck, and Monsieur d'O. to h•…•…

points. Now they run after the poor Gen∣tleman to appease the Guards, dissatisfi'd with his Hat and his Cloak. The worst was, that the old French-man had like to have kill'd him, after he had heard his tale, Swearing he'd be hang'd if this were true. More then that, he must to Prison. That imprisonment compleated the Trage∣dy. He was kept close for a Month, and some say longer. True it is, that after∣wards he surrender'd himself to the Duke of Mayen: but those of Paris not believing this story, took him for a Zopyras, and sent him to be kept in safe Custody at St. Germaines de Prez; and some few Months after that, he was slain, together with two or three hundred Gentlemen more, at∣tempting to regain the City. Stories like these, and many others were brought by the Courrier of the Duke of Longuevile, from whom the King demanded the other Pacquet, before he had seen that of Papier; after which he return'd with his post-boy to carry the news of their actions into Pi∣cardie. The Constable's Courrier made the same complaints as far as Languedoc, above all things complaining of the Count of Mauleurier who produc'd him. But his Master reprehended him for bogling at a small matter, and sent him back again with

his pacquets. Is not this enough to satis∣fie the World, that these secrets were not divulg'd by me alone? Should I relate what the Prince of Conde privately told me, when they spent a whole night highly pleas'd in the Apprentiship of the Count of Avergne to his Navel. Or should I relate the banishment of young Rosny, for being ill supply'd: Or of Noailles for having writ∣ten over his bed these Verses,

No happiness, no good contents me, That from my Deity absents me.

To which the King of Navar added with his own hand.

Ne're exalt my Aunt so high, She loves too well Humanity.

By that, a discovery was made, that he lov'd women, contrary to the Rules of the Holy Love, which caus'd him to be kick'd out of doors, like the Duke of Longuevile, for requesting his Colours of the King by a Letter written in guilt Paper. Should I relate the Espousals of Quelus, and that other Contract signed with the blood of— and Monsieur O. by which he espoused Monsieur Le Grand. Should I rehearse the

words of that Prince, kneeling by the body of dead Maugiron, with his lips where they ought not to have been, I should displease the Count of Curavas, who having lent them his Chamber, spy'd them through a hole in his Cabinet. Should I discover the door which the Constable made at To∣lembray, for his private converse with Le Grand, Men would blame my too Satyri∣cal humor: should I relate what was told me by Le Pont, how he was taken by the Coller, at a time when Le Grand was impa∣tiently expected, who durst not pass by, for fear of the Duke of Espernon, who walk'd in his way, with his Hat pull'd down over Eye-brows, & Sword his in his hand, swear∣ing like a Bell-founder, There was no pas∣sing that way to day. Did not the young Deputies of the Estates of Blois, make their complaints to the Provinces that sent them, That they were sent only to be abus'd in their Chastities, as the only means to cor∣rupt their Fidelity? But to draw advantage from these things thus divulg'd, I say, and I know (for my services gave me the con∣veniency of access) that the King having conciev'd a wonderful dread of these things in the time of Sarbatane, became so fearful, that he trembled at the least flash of Light∣ning, or at the least noise of Thunder. Mon∣sieur

Roe, cur'd him of the greatest part of this fear, with an Agnus Dei blest by the hand of his Holiness. But after that, he chang'd his fancy from active into passive, and grew so timid, that he was afraid of the whistle∣ing of the very winds; and then the good Prince stood in need of more violent reme∣dies, and by the counsel of Father Ange, who griev'd for him, and shew'd him, how he had committed Masculine Incest, because he was Brother to the Duke of Joyeuse, they lay'd the foundations of the Capuchins, Je∣rosolimites and Fueillants, a sort of begging Fryers that wear brown habits; where you have seen the D. of Joyeuse in his Glory, and whither, as they say, he intends to re∣turn, when he finds himself fully glutted with the pleasures of this World. Not∣withstanding all which, the devout Prince, being not yet quit of his fears; several Fraternities of Penitents were erected, and other pious Orders which are to be seen up and down in France. But the exquisite artifices of the Voluptuous heighten'd these fears, when Monsieur Confessor lent his helping hand with more potent Amulets. He sent from Rome for Chaplets, and bless'd beads, which the King presented to the Fra∣ternity of the Cabinet, being adviz'd to pra∣ctise their pleasures athwart the said Chap∣lets;

which was afterwards also practis'd in the public Stews of Paris to preserve them from the foul Disease. Monsieur Pi∣nars affirm'd to me, that a Jesuit confess'd that he approv'd of the remedy, and because some of the sacred band had been too se∣verely wounded in their Chamber-Wars, that the Mass was added, which an Almoner read upon a board which was lay'd upon the Bed of the Cabinet. A holy Mass no doubt, whose Ornaments were accommodated to the Sin: as the application of a Cross made of holy wood to the shoulders; Fomen∣tations of the Chine, and Clysters of Holy∣water, beads, which they call blessed, other wise profane trifles and fooleries. We have heard how about 20. years since the Convent of Franciscans was burnt at Paris, by fire from Heaven: but we never heard how that the King having found it out, that those Franciscans were dealers in Sacred Amours, and that the Reliques of St. Fran∣cis and Father Mace serv'd them in the same stead as we make use of Laurel against Thunder; thereupon the King made the Guardian his Confessor, upon condition that he should purloin those Relicques, which had not been long in the King's Ca∣binet, but the Convent was fir'd, juxta il∣lud

12. tit. 7. Fulgura de sursum depellit. The same Guardian also taught him that that sin was no sin in the Habit of a Fran∣ciscan, and committed with a good inten∣tion to be conformable to St. Francis, and Father Macè, his Mignon. For which rea∣son they into whose hands the King's Pray∣er-Books fell, have shewed their familiar friends, the names of all those that are men∣tioned in this Chapter, and at the end of the said Prayer-books, the names of those he could not bring to his bow; among the rest Chastillon and Chambret, the first with his sleeves thrust back, to shew his plump white Arm, and his Motto, non pro amor, ma pro vendetta; Not for Love, but for Re∣venge. This is a kind of a secret, but not such a one as felt that fatal clap of Thunder, which in a clear day, at one of the Clock in the afternoon, in the view of five hundred Gentlemen, and as many Swisses, and with no more then one single clap, brake into the low Chamber of the Count of Soissons, where Monsieur Le Grand, and he were at their belov'd Recreation; and two others upon another bed; and parted company, killing two and leaving the third at the Window half dead; in this more memora∣ble, that the lightning enter'd the Criminal members, and issu'd forth behind. And here

observe the advantage of adorning the hair like a person in Orders; for the two which escaped had both the Popes Chaplets upon their heads; but they that were kill'd had none. I suppose that the fifth, who lay like one half dead for two months to∣gether, had lost not above half his. Thus you see the Experience which authorizes Relicques, and take notice that you shall never see any of the Brethren of the Sacred Society without Agnus's, Crosses, or Chap∣lets about their Arms. To the purpose of Relicques, that wicked Count of Ro∣chefoucaut, dining one day with the Queen's Maids of honour, who peck'd at him by express order, and ask'd him for some of the fine Relicques which he had plunder'd at Towrs in the first Wars, he reply'd, That he had made them all away, looking upon them as gewgaws and trifles. But they be∣ing importunate, at length he promis'd them, that upon condition they would all come and kiss him, he would give them one of S. Katherine's Wast-coats, that should make their breasts as hard as when they were Maids. For my part if I do not make such a stir about Relicques, or do not wor∣ship them as others do, you must excuse me; for going one Evening to Bosnis, two Leagues from Orleans, which is the seat of

the Masters of St. Lazarus; I was strange∣ly surpriz'd, to hear in the morning as I rose, so many little Bells about the House, as also to see the Banner, and the Cross, and a great number of the Canons of St. Agnan in Orleans, and not only so, but to see as many Banners and Crosses, as could possibly enter into a little Gallery leading to the House of Easment. The business was, a young Girl belonging to the Cheva∣lier Salviati, grand Prior of the Order, had found certain Chests, which in the time, of the Wars had been thrown into the Pri∣vy. As she was picking them open, to see what she could steal, in one of them she found a little box, upon the which was written R. d. Coti. The Commander being advertiz'd thereof, made hast to the place, together with his Secretary Valderio, who took the R. with the Print, for the Father of St. Katherine. Thereupon strict charge, was given not to touch the box upon great penalties, and the Master and the Man, went both to the Bishop of Orleans. The Doctors, and among the rest Picard, being call'd to consultation, the result was, That this box was to be open'd by the Sacred hands of the Bishop only, assisted with the Neighbouring processions. Thus they came one morning, and after a Mass of the Holy

Ghost devoutly said, the Bishop washes his hands in holy-water, makes three steps to the Coffer upon his knees, opens it and there finds a Box of good Marmalade of Or∣leans; and thus as Prophesies are never understood till they are fulfil'd, they found that R. signifi'd the Remainder, and d. C. of the Cotignac.

CHAP. VIII. Of Vows.

MR. Peter Foncet, a Gentleman Prea∣cher, he that when Monsieur d'Esper∣non tax'd him for making people laugh, made answer, that he caus'd many more to weep. This honest man, one day preach∣ing among the Mathurins, made a long discourse upon the miseries of the Chartreux, that they fed upon nothing but fish, of o∣thers that fed upon nothing that ever had life, of the Capuchins that wear nothing up∣on their feet, of the Fueillans that are so poorly clad, & vivunt in diem; of the Fri∣ers Ignorant of Italy, who dare not presume to know any thing; of St. Anthonies Por∣kers

near Roanne, and the Penitents that whip themselves. This Preacher caus'd abundance of people to weep; and from all those Devotions, and austere Vows drew this argument, That if the Romish Reli∣gion were false, men would never keep Vows so difficult and uncomfortable. I in∣vited the said Foncet and Renardier of Bre∣taigne to dinner▪ where we brought all his reasons to the test; and that fool Renardier put the other into a great heat, telling him that those austeritics of Vows and manner of living, were rather marks of a false Re∣ligion, then of a true. Witness, said he, that the Sacrifices of men were forbid to the Israelites, and observ'd among the Gen∣tiles; and those mad Codsheads in Turky, the Caloyer, who all the year long wear no other covering for their nakedness, then Nets. Only they carry in their right hands a great Razor, with which they make a new stream of blood, when the first begins to close up▪ and as to their fasts and abstinen∣cies, that from Wine, which is enjoyn'd to all persons, is the most difficult to be ob∣serv'd. When they fast they neither eat nor drink. As to their Pilgrimages, where do we find so impetuous a devotion as that of the Pilgrims to Mecca, of whom there are many, who after the hardships of a tedi∣ous

journey, and the sight of Mahomet's Se∣pulcher, put out their Eyes, as unwilling to see any thing prophane, after the sight of a thing so holy? Afterwards he alleg'd the strange zeal of the Calignois, and how we might find in the Grand Temple of Mexico, the walls besmear'd with the blood of Infants offer'd to the Devil by their Fa∣thers and Mothers, and this blood above two fingers thick, through the whole in∣side building; which I have heard con∣firm'd by the Franciscans of Mexico, and o∣thers. Renardier concluded from thence, that all such inventions were very fanati∣cal, or rather diabolical, which inforce men to such hardships. Thereupon this good man Coxcomb fell upon Antiquity, and I cannot tell where he pick'd up his learning. Do you not know, quo he, that the French and English Druids sacrific'd upon certain days, and accompted those Sacrifices most acceptable, when they put men to the most cruel deaths? The Carthaginians took the Children of the most Noble Families, put them on Royal Apparel, and sacrific'd them; neither were their Parents permit∣ted to rescue one, so that being vanquish'd by Agathocles, out of an opinion which they had, that their Gods were angry at the discontinuance of such Sacrifices, they

knock'd o'the head above 200 young Gen∣tlemen for the service of their Altars. The Rhodians and Cretans were wont to make their Victims drunk before they offer'd them up. In Chio and Salamine they tore men limb-meale to sacrifice them to Dio∣medes. The Arcadians whipt their Dam∣sels to death. The Spartans did the same to their Children upon the Altars of Diana and Mercury. Others made a great Pen of hurdles, and fill'd it up with men, of which Theopompus was one. The Thracians slew their Victims with Lances at the Altar of Tamelus. Some of the Germans and Bur∣gundians carous'd blood at their Sacrifices. The Persians, Greeks, and some of the Eng∣lish, buri'd their Sacrifices alive. I will not stand to repeat several other abominations practis'd upon Boys and Girls; and other follies committed by the Corinthians and Bretons. I say therefore that these austere and cruel Vows have been in all Ages a great part of the worship giv'n to the De∣vil. From thence Renardier betook him∣self to his Theology, quoting in the 16 chap. of St. Matthew, the words, My yoke is light, with several others, and told us withal, my Masters, quo he, the best Vow that we can make is to St. * 1.2Mathurin, for I assure ye that

the wisest among us is but a fool. All the World did not know Renardier; he was one that would speak the truth to the de∣ceas'd King, who desiring to have his char∣ges defray'd by his Marshals of the Camp, told him one day that he did more then God; for he said, by the labour of thy hands thou shalt live commodiously. But you, said he, let your Marshals of the Camp live more then commodiously, by that labour and cal∣ling, of which they understood nothing. At last Poncet was in a pelting chafe and re∣ply'd, that he discours'd like a Huguenot. The other went on smiling, and began to spend his rallery upon the Pythagorisms of the Chartreux, and other honest fellows, among the rest, he did not forget Mr.— Neither did he omit to tell us that Mr. de Bouchage, being weary of the King's scourge, and imprison'd between four screens, made his Confession to one of his companions of the buttock-trade, who having heard of the violences of the Cabinet, persuaded him to forsake the World, and urg'd it to him withal, that if he would undergo a Capu∣chin's life for some time, he doubted not but to see him Pope. This is that which the Cunning-man Raoul has confirm'd to him, and you shall see, said Renardier, that from hence in time he will return thither, mark a

fool's Prophesie. Poncet and I laugh'd at him: which made the good man very an∣gry: well, said he, you are a couple of as naughty Companions as Marshal Biron who scoff'd at poor Frier Ange, when he went to act the Passion before the King at Char∣tres, causing himself to be whip'd and car∣rying a Cross, that would have weigh'd down Goliah. There, was Monsieur de Montpensier enquiring who was Master of the Ceremonies of this Mortality. Sure 'twas not he that flung away the spiggot of his Gascoigne Wine because that Monsieur Babelot told him it was fit to be the blood of a Martyr. 'Twas he that to get a good gobbet, went to hear Vespers among the Austin Friers. The Marshal thereupon drawing himself aside; this widgeon, said he I warrant ye fares well below the wast, though paradventure he may miss of Para∣dise. To whom the Duke return'd, by St. Slash-back, quo he, this fellow plays well, but that his Musick is a little too sharp. It was a Cantle of Earth, which he had rub'd off from an Oven as he drawl'd his Cross along for which the Baker was not forget∣ful with a good palt to make him sing La∣crimae. Such as you were those devout Bishops of Lyonnois, who called a Synod to reform the Custom of St. Anthony in that

place. They are oblig'd to make eight meals to shew the frailty of Mankind. There were some Jesuits, Frier minors, and certain young Bishops, who made smooth and long Harangs, to shew that such Constitutions might be alter'd habita ratio∣ne temporum. And that what our Ancestors had formerly done with a good intention, was at this day ridiculous. But to all these reasons the sub Prior of St. Anthony, who was a great snoarer, made answer only with one grave and remarkable Sentence; Let us not intrude Innovations upon our Age. They began again a very fair speech against the scoffers of this Age, but the sub Prior with four Chins retorted, le, le, le, le, let us—Hickup—take care, &c. But you'l say that under the umbrage of Devo∣tion many great follies are committed. By St. Anthony I know it well enough. But it is none of the Churches fault. Who has exclaim'd more then I against the King and his Minions; who had like to have told i'my Pulpit the following Story?

The King falling in love at Lyon with the Wife of the Sieur—The bargain be∣ing made with the woman by the Count of Maulevrier, the next thing was, how to cajole the Husband out of the way; so jea∣lous, that he refus'd an honourable Employ∣ment,

and a profitable Commission, as to the Salt of Peccaise to boot. Thereupon he applies himself to a Franciscan, Confessor to the jealous Husband, declaring to him that the Chief men of Lyon had their Eye upon this poor man, as looking upon him to be a Heretic, because he was not of the Fraternity of the Penitents. To the point answer'd the Cordelier; Sir, I am no such fool to suspect you of Devotion. Speak to me in the Language of St. Francis, and you shall find that the Franciscans are good Companions. By all that's vertuous then, reply'd the Count, we have a private kind∣ness for his Wife, and there are thirty Crowns for thee. To which the Francis∣can, get ye gone, quo he, like Lords as ye are, and leave the business to me. Six days after that, you might have seen the poor Gentleman in the Vestry preparing to carry the Cross as the youngest Novice. In the mean time the King, the Count, and Clermont d'Entragues go to play their Game; and in a short while after they saw through the Window of the Chamber, the Proces∣sion and the Cross-bearer, who in the midst of his devotions could not choose but have strange Whimseys and Imaginations in his head, which so intoxicated his Pericranium, that he fell in a Swoon before his own door.

Thereupon the Procession stop'd, to change the Cross-bearer. There was now a ne∣cessity to open the door, and to hide the three Adventurers in the best manner they could, in a small Compting-house, Where they had bin in great danger, but that the Franciscan and one of his Brethren over∣rul'd the devout Cuckold, that it was a re∣ligious duty incumbent upon him to carry back his habit to the Vestry. Who has ex∣claim'd more then I, against the deceas'd King, who carry'd the names of his Mini∣ons in his prayer books, illuminated with the light of St. Francis? Did I not know the Dutchess of Guize and Nevers, who carry'd Roquemont and the Baron of Fu∣mel, painted in the Crucifix both in their Prayer-books and Cabinets; and they their Mistresses also in the same manner like the Virgin Mary? But you other Heretics, you do ill to blame the Church for this. I broke the design of Poncet by saying, that the in∣vention of Habits and Prayer-books is no way guilty of ill Customs. But to reim∣burse ye both, for your unlucky tales, I will tell ye one spick and span new. What was the reason, think ye, that the Count de la Chapelle forsook the World? Whuh! said Renardier, that was, because the Car∣dinal of Florence fool'd him, and promis'd

he should be Pope. With that I shook my head; Why no said Poncet as well as Pope— who was taken up at the door a poor boy, because the Cardinals she-monky fell in love with him? Some say she lov'd him for the number of Lice he had about him. However it were, being once well cleans'd and furbish'd up, he pleas'd his Master, was afterwards advanc'd, and call'd Cardinal della Simia, and last chos'n Holy-Father. At what time the College check'd him, that he had made a Beggar, and an ignorant Fellow, Cardinal, he re∣ply'd, 'tis but the same that ye found in me, and if he live to be old, 'tis that will make him Pope. The reason was this; His Mo∣ther being weary of him, partly because he was troubled with the falling sickness, and for that she found him a fool, but chiefly because his Maiden Brother began to grow ripe, she therefore sent him into Italy, and gave him Father Jeronimo for his Confes∣sour. He knew so well how to pick the worms out of the nose of this Calf, that he made him a Confession of such sins as I am asham'd to tell ye, for the expiation whereof, he made him believe there was no other way, but for him to forsake the World, and devote himself to the Church. I know, said Renardier, more then you

dare say. I once heard at the Window of the Stable of St. Denis of one who impor∣tuning his Companion to tell him whether the Count de la Chapell were a coming? this answer was made, I know no more then I can divine, who had his Maiden-head; whether his Father or his Mother, his Uncle or his Sister But to the purpose; this Vow being as severe as the Penance for his offences, as that which Aretine describes in the person of Master— His Mother believing she should dye for grief of having born him, devoted him to be a Cardinal in humility. This is he upon whom Pasquin jokes; What has the Cardinal done, has he left his Eleemosynarie at the Hospital? At length Monsieur Poncet grew weary of the discourse and told us if you, and o∣ther sort of Huguenots, had not come a∣thwart us, we had tought the deceas'd King the value of Vestments, shavings and secret Vows. For we had put him in the great Chartreuse, being fortifi'd with good Bulwarks instead of Reasons. We had Habited him like the Ingles in his prayer-books. We had chang'd his Crown for a shav'd Circle, and to bid ye God-buy and end our discourses, we had answer'd his motto, * 1.3 Manet Ʋltima Caelo, with a Distic

that was assix'd to the Dyal of the Pa∣lace.

Qui dedit ante duas, unam abstulit, altera nutat; Tertia Tonsoris nunc facienda manu.

Once two Crowns were thee design'd, But the Donor chang'd his mind. One he retook, and this doth shake, The next the Barber is to make.

Farewel Gentlemen, I am sorry to see ye make such ill use of pious works. Thus Poncet took his leave, but Renardier staid to make an end of his story. This is the reason said he, that the Bishop of Xantes is one of the best Companions in the world. There is also an Abbess in the Suburbs, whose Convent is more like a Court, then a Religious House. Where with Maubusson's good leave, at the Seige of Pontoise, there lay no less then eight godly Virgins sick of the Crinkums, and five newly brought to Bed. Let it not of∣fend Longchamp nor Mont Martre, that this place was call'd the Magazine of the En∣gines of the Army. Nor let it offend the Trinity of Poictiers, Vilmur of Albi∣geois, Lys, the true Seminaries of Children in Red Coats; the Abby of the Holy

Ghost, the Nunnnery whither Suresne brought Fervaques some few days ago, and told the Abbess, who is her Daughter, that she ought to shew the honour of her house to the new Duke and Peer; his design being only to debauch a young Religious Nun, which was the real cause of their journey. In half an hours time Suresne return'd and whisper'd her fellow-traveller in the Ear, Go fall on, Mortbieu, the Slut has put me to some trouble, but the business is done. Hast makes wast of the body, quoth Fervaques; for I have play'd two Acts with the Abbess. How? She's my Daughter: Then I am your Son in law, said the other. The Abbess of Xantes is inferiour to none of them all, for Gallantry, Courtship, and Mascarading. And in a word, there is nothing acted there, but what is acted at Court. Only sometimes the Bishop and the Abbess steal abroad to some remote and convenient pla∣ces; and then the Nuns fall to their Ori∣sons, in regard that Monsieur and Madam are gone to perform works of Charity. E∣very one was much concern'd what pious works those should be: But the Prior of Pont l'abbè having discover'd them one day, wrote to Monsieur de Potonville the fol∣lowing Lines.

The Bishop and Abbess of Xantes For their works of piety, Saints, Are often in private together: But a Nun more witty then either, Made a hole in the Wall, And there she spy'd all. She was paid for her peeping, For now she knew more Of Piety-works then ever before.

He concluded with the answer of Ver∣ville touching so many piles of building for the entertainment of Franciscans, Je∣suits, Capuchins, and the like; to pre∣vent the folly of men, that let fools put out their eyes.

You Huguenots that so severely frown, And all our Monasteries would pull down Should Knaves and Fools change places tell us, you Whether you would not think 'em then to few

CHAP. IX. Of the several ways of Angling for Men.

WHatever St. Peter did, his Successours have strangely alter'd the course of his Vessel. For all the while that the times of darkness continu'd, the Church of Rome has fish'd in the fire. They have not spar'd for Wood, by which means, they have consum'd the bodies of them, who were too apprehensive of the fire of Souls. The Converters of these times made it their business to convert the Soul by terrifying the Body, or else by converting the Body into Cinders. When day and light ap∣pear'd, and that fire began to be out of re∣quest, then they fell to fish in troubl'd wa∣ters; and this they do in all times of trou∣bles, and then several persons exil'd from their houses fell into the fishermens Nets. When the water ceases to be trou∣bled, they fish in the calm, and then they never spare for unguis odoratus, which the Druggists of Italy furnish them withal.

With this bait were taken the more weigh∣ty sort of fish, such as were the Marshals of Montmorancy and de Cosse. After that, they lay their baits for the larger sort of fish, so was Antony King of Navarre caught by Ro∣vet, and Lovis of Bourbon by Limeul; but this latter being a strong fish, and feeling himself in the Net, brake the meshes, and so escap'd. Some there are, that are de∣stroy'd by following the Dolphins; such are the Dog-fish, Barbels, Macquerel and all the lesser frie that follow the Court, who following their Master, enter with him in∣to the belly of that profound and vast Whale, the Church of Rome. The little frie is caught with more labour, while they are put to force them out of their lurking holes by beating with their long Poles. By this means, there is ne're a small Parish in France, where the Huguenots, beaten out by good and holy intelligence, more then others, are not forc'd into St. Peter's Nets. The Winters of affliction cause se∣veral to remove to the Springs of Honour and Greatness, as the Courts of Rome, the Emperour, France and Spain. By this means, we have caught in these later Sea∣sons several haughty minds, impatient of meanness and poverty, and among the rest La Morlas, who not being able to recon∣cile

the lowness of his Birth, and the great∣ness of his Courage, remov'd to those Springs, when the Huguenots were in a low condition. And also to draw advantage from others, he made use of a new arti∣fice. In that somewhat resembling the na∣ture of the Dolphin, but only in the e∣vent. He carry'd his Believers to the di∣spute with Monsieur Confessour. He ad∣monish'd them first to take a care of him, as being a dangerous impostor, and ex∣horted them to stand firm; but afterwards suffer'd himself to be caught in their com∣pany. I saw him one day bring to the line of the Net the little Baron de Courte∣mer, to whom he gave his hand sidelong in the middle of the dispute, and cry'd, Cou∣rage, my little Baron; however we ought to consider what Monsieur Perron sayes. Thereupon with an artificial and sanctifi'd prevarication he suffer'd himself to be van∣quish'd after a dissembl'd resistance. I my self have several times bin disintangl'd out of the same Net. Monsieur de Chastillon was inform'd by his Father's old Servants, That the design to bring him to Court was, as well upon his Body, as his Conscience. Monsieur Confessour, one of the best Fish∣ermen that has belong'd to the Church, has more luckily then others observ'd in these

Seasons, the way of fishing with the Line: For he has got a trick to put the worm so far on upon the hook, that the fish is caught before it has swallow'd the bait. Witness poor Desponde, whose bait was laid for a∣nother, and who having sacrific'd his Soul for the Church, has bin so wickedly gull'd, that before he dy'd, he saw his Children go a begging, his Wife in the Stews, and himself in the Hospital. Witness poor Cahier who gap'd after the Abbey promis'd him, but saw nothing but the Walls and the Steeple. The Holy men of former times fish'd with Preaching, and baited their hooks with Salvation. But now a days we suffer that sort of coin to grow rusty; for the fish is too much awake, and will not be caught by licking the mud. Dandelot cost little, for he was taken with the hand, and that was a riddle to the good Companions. I will say this more∣over in a word, for the prudence of Mon∣sieur Confessour, that he fishes best in still waters. Not such waters as Desponde caus'd to swell at M. de Guerres: but be∣cause he has an eye upon those whose Fa∣milies are going to rack; like a Pond that drains it self through its own Sluces and so becomes dry; as it happen'd in the case of the Baron of Salignac, when his Wife

converted him. Some are caught by the foresight of such accidents, like my self, that I might fish on in still waters. Mon∣sieur Confessour has taken the pains to come and fish and preach at St. Merry, in the face of the people: there where they take Frogs sleeping, there he preaches like a Deacon to a Subdeacon; His Brother and some others of his Apostles have a seat la∣den with good Livres just before the Pul∣pit. They open the bags upon the quota∣tion of passages; they tie them up again as fast as they can to awaken attention. But this great Personage is so full of talk, that the greatest part of the auditory sleep three hours together, and get terrible Colds; and so the faculty of Theology becomes very profitable to the faculty of Physic.

CHAP. X. Of Transubstantiation.

WE cannot say much upon the point of Transubstantiation; for it is more difficult to prove then pronounce, though the word be somewhat of the long∣est. But as Monsieur Confessour says,

confessing that it was an absurd point, yet it ought to be debated for the honour of the Church. Though not to dive too far into the will of God, he forbid me to read the most part of the Ancients, especially St. Austin l. de agone Christiano, c. 25. De Praesentia Dei ad Dardanum. c. 17 in Psal. 33. & 34. In Evangel. Johannis. tract. 27. ad Bonifac. Epist. 23. In Sermon. Infant. l. 3. de doctrina Christi. c. 9. & 16. He also forbad me to read the rest not corre∣cted by the Index expurgatorius, and taught me to insist upon nothing in this dispute but Omnipotency. Now therefore hear the ar∣guments which I have pick'd out of my own invention. Wherefore cannot we change and alter the substances of all things in the name of God, seeing we do the same thing in the King's name, whereby we see such strange Transubstantiations and Metamorphoses perform'd every day? The sweat of a miserable Labourer into the fat of prosperous Partisan and Treasurer? The marrow of the fingers of a Vine-dresser of Gasconie rejoices the heart of every one, and fills the belly of a Parasite. The tears of the Widow ruin'd in Bretagne caus'd San∣tory's Wife to grow fat. The blood of a Souldier slain, to chace Espernon out of Pro∣vence turns to Hypocriss. The Host of the

Rose at Bloise we find now transubstanti∣ated in M. Bussy Guibert. The Imposts of France have transubstantiated the Plough-fields into Pasture, the Vinyards into wast land, and the Husbandmen into Beggars; The Souldiers into Thieves, with little or no Miracle; The Plough-joggers into Gen∣tlemen, the Lacqueys into Masters, the Ma∣sters into Lacqueys, the Horsemen into Hal∣berdeers. The Curtisans of Princes are transubstantiated into Women, and Wo∣men into Curtisans. Panders becom Marquises. Varenne has undergone such Transubstantiations would make your hair stand an end. Pardon Morlas, if he see∣mingly believe Transubstantiation; He who in his Cradle was chang'd from a Bastard of Sallette into the Son of a Botcher, and from that time bred up by the almes of the Churches of Pau; afterwards a Scho∣ler at the Queen's charge; from a Scholer he became a Minister and Spie upon the Huguenots of Paris, from a Spie a Gendar∣me, from a Gendarme a Disciple of Perron, thence a Pandar, so a Traytor, and last of all Proveditor General. Who can reck'n the notable Changes of Lansac Laverdin, the Marquis de Bell'ilse, Monluc and Bal∣gagny? The deceas'd Bishop of Valence, who believ'd nothing of Transubstantiati∣on,

what would he have said to have seen his Son de Champis a Captain, from a Cap∣tain a Soveraign Prince, from a Prince a Poltron, from a Poltron an Exile, from an Exile a Marshal, from a Marshal a Cuc∣kold, just such another as Marshal Vulcan? But that which convinces me more of the truth of Transubstantiation is the Proverb, Know thy self. When I consider how many times I have bin my self transubstanti∣ated, from a Sholer to a Councellour, thence to an Ambassadour, thence to a Bankrupt, thence to a Coney-catcher, thence to an Excise-man, thence to a Col∣lonel, Captain, and Constable of Petty Chalons. It had bin also a fair argument to prove the wonderful Transubstantiation, had Prince Maurice bin as quick to contri∣bute the 400. M. Crowns, as they of Bearn and Geneva were the 10. M Crowns for the hire of my third Conversion: But let that pass, only let me tell ye, had I bin Earl of Burgundy I had paid my Swisses in salt. We have seen the lower Hall of the Loure chang'd into a Comic-Stage, from a Comic-Stage into a Tragic; from a Pa∣lace Royal, into a place of Execution, when President Brisson and his Companions were there hang'd. To which I will on∣ly add the example of the Duke of Merceur

who from a petty Prince, became the King's Brother in Law; from thence Governour of Bretaigne, from a Governour a Tyrant, from a Tyrant a Duke, and in his own fan∣cy the Terrour of France, and the hope of Spain. And indeed he is so transubstan∣tiated, that the new Proverb of Spaniards calls him, The scorn of France, the shame of Lorrain, the disdain of Bretaigne. He is neither Duke, nor Tyrant, nor Gover∣nour, and he that had bin Victorious in Bat∣tel, has suffer'd that fair Fortune to go to Ruin, without the shot of one single Pi∣stol; only one Scape which he let the other day in cold blood, in the presence of the King.

Notes

• * 1.1

  The Spanish Proverb.
• * 1.2

  The Mad∣mens Saint.
• * 1.3

  The last Crown in Heav'n.