Six familiar essays upon marriage, crosses in love, sickness, death, loyalty and friendship written by a lady.

AN ESSAY UPON DEATH IN A Letter to a Friend, Who had Bu∣ried her Husband.

IMpute not my silence, Dear Madam, to any want, but the excess of kind∣ness, which makes me too much a Part∣ner in your sorrow, to find words at all suitable to the share I have with you in it; if therefore I am the last in Condol∣ing your great Loss, I do most faithful∣ly

assure you, it is no insensibility, but the highest Degree of Love and Ten∣derness towards you, that occasioned it; the grief that is least, is soonest ex∣prest, and perhaps the more noise it makes, the less mischeif is sustained by it: had I been unconcerned, my pen and thoughts had been freer; and (though I could have said nothing suf∣ficient, to stem so fierce a Tide as your just Lamentations) I might have offer∣ed some poor reasons against other wo∣mens afflicting themselves so much, which I should be ashamed to menti∣on to you, having been a witness, how far your Husbands Love and Mer∣rits, excelled the best of Mankind I have ever met with, and I am so sensi∣ble of your Reciprocal affection, that I know the power of God only can sup∣port you under such a separation, which I believe, was much more terrible to you then Death it self, that so lately seemed to look you in the face with its severe Attendants of pain and sickness; and without doubt, if we may be per∣mitted to bewail any misfortune in this world, you will be excused for duly

resenting yours, but take heed, Dear Friend, your sorrow is not as one with∣out hope, and use your utmost indea∣vour to submit to the hand of the Al∣mighty, with as much resignation in this, as you did in your own Distemper, (tho that assaulted but your Body, and this has peirced your Heart) but you ought to remember, it was the same merciful God that gave you him, who has now taken him to himself, and in the midst of your Afflictions, you have reason to bless the Name of the Lord, for sparing you so long, and especial∣ly for preserving him unsullied in this black Age, where he could scarce converse abroad without it, nor consequently without danger of being defiled, since it is the constant practise of our Modern Hero's, either to seduce others from, or ridicule them in the way of Virtue: but, oh! how vain are their attempts, when they meet such awful goodness as your Hus∣band was master of, whose looks and Character discouraged all appearances of vice, too much to admit a second attack, from those Vultures that are in∣deed

fit for no places but Charnel hous∣es, where all things are as corrupted and rotten as their Principles, and yet these Monsters are too too often receiv∣ed into the noblest Palaces, where that their deformities may not be observed; they take care to render their Proselytes, as odious and infectious as themselves, and so joyn together to spread the dread∣ful Contagion, as far as their acquain∣tance reaches; had your dear Husband fall'n a prey to them, he had been lost for ever to you, and to himself; but now, tho his change must of necessity give you a very great trouble, for being deprived of the best Companion, and the truest Friend that ever any woman was made happy by, yet after a due debt paid to his memory, which I know can be diverted by nothing upon Earth, I hope that trouble will find the most comfortable allay in the consi∣deration, that this parting is to his un∣expressable advantage, and has remov∣ed him from a transitory and imperfect, to an Everlasting happiness, whither I doubt not you are daily preparing to follow him; and since it has pleased

God to deny you the further assistance of such an Example and Counsellor, to strengthen you in your Travel, he will abundantly recompense that loss, by allowing you a greater measure of his, to carry you thorough the tryals and temptations to which you are ex∣posed by the way, unless you neglect to implore his help by giving up your self to a Melancholy, that must needs discompose all your faculties at the same time, weakning your body, and unhinging your mind; which fruitless grief, if the Saints in Heaven have a sense of what passes here below, would be more disapproved by him, whose disease is the occasion of it, then by any of your surviving friends; and were it possible by your tears to recal him for one minute, from that Scene of Glory, which he is now (as we reason∣ably imagin) translated into, he must regard you as his bitterest Enemy, to interrupt him in that state of Joy, which tongue cannot express, nor can it enter into the heart of Man to con∣ceive; but if he is capable of making any wishes concerning you, we may

conclude from his last words, that they all tend only to your attaining a firmer Title, to the Love and Knowledge of our Creator, that you may injoy a set∣tled peace in your mind, and so resign up your self to the will of God, in this Gloomy providence, that your dear Spouse and you may hereafter dwell together, in that state of pleasures that has no end nor interruption; and tho the time of the afflicted seems most te∣dious, yet they have the consolation to know that the miseries of this world must have an end, and so must our Mourning too, and this I have learnt even from the Heathens, that all vio∣lent pains are short, and all lasting pains, are lightsome; and from hence conclud∣ed that any sort of pain might easily be endur'd, whether it were this argu∣ment, or self-love that made them bear the loss of friends with such indiffer∣ence, I will not presume to determine; but I have met with some such hea∣thenish people, whose excessive tender∣ness to their own persons has prevented their grieving for any others; now when •• easiness in this case proceeds

from that Principle, I fear it will hard∣ly come under the name of vertue, but ill nature; for we are commanded to love our Neighbours as our selves, and none can lose the thing they love with∣out regret, which regret when it is for a friend, or those that are nearly allyed to us, I hope is inoffensive, and God who in mercy overlooks many of our infirmities, will (I trust) pity and par∣don this, which is the most natural of them all, at least if it does not tran∣sport us beyond moderation, but for those Christian Stoicks I last mentioned, their tranquility is not more assured for a less share of humane gratitude, or natural affection, since I never ob∣served any of them without a darling passion, which affects them as tenderly, tho not so commendably as the other; in some Coveteousness and in others Pride, supplies the place of Friend∣ship, which as it chears them when they find success, so every disappointment torments and grieves their Spirits, as much as the Death of our dearest friends does ours; and as mankind is the most excellent of all created beings

upon Earth, I think it is undisputable that the degree of Love, which the supream Lord of all things is pleased to spare from himself, is much nobler imployed in kindness to one another, then in doting upon the unnecessary treasures, or the vain Ornaments of this Life, that take up most of the time and wishes of them, whose humor cannot be moved by any other spring. I grant that we ought not to expect any solid comfort from any of the Injoyments which we meet with here below, that the dearest friends must unavoidably part, and we know not whose turn it will be to be left behind; for as we came not into this world together, so we must not think to go together to the next, and tho we are permitted to Love, and commanded according to our Ability to assist each other, in this wearisom Pilgrimage, yet when it pleases God to part us, we must yeild to this common fate, notwithstanding the hardship it seems to put upon us; and whilst we do injoy the Conversati∣on of our friends, we should prize the Goodness more then the outward Qua∣lifications

of those with whom we converse, still remembring they came not hither to do ours, but our Master's business; who making no further use of their service, in infinite Compassion, releases them from all the toils and rest∣less cares, with which flesh and blood is howerly incompassed; accordingly in paying our last offices to the dead, the Church teaches us to say, For as much as it hath pleased Almighty God, in his great mercy to take to himself the Soul of our dear Brother here departed, &c. By that acknowledging that Death is an effect of God's great mercy, to all such to whom the following Text may be applyed, Blessed are the Dead which die in the Lord, even so saith the Spirit, for they rest from their Labours; And if the Dissolution of the Righteous, is to ex∣empt them from Labours, tho our own interest makes us eager to detain them longer with us; yet the sense of what they enjoy in Heaven, and the Incon∣veniences that attends them, whilst they are upon the Earth, must be a great means to silence our repinings; and to abate our grief: some indeed

have so little peace and satisfaction, during their stay amongst us, that themselves are ready to say with Job, Wherefore is light given to him that is in Misery, and Life unto the bitter in Soul, which long for Death, but it cometh not, and dig for it, more then for hid treasures, which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad when they can find the Grave. In such ex∣tremities, surely those that love them best, can bid them most chearfully a∣dieu, hoping that all their sufferings are ended with their lives, and having pati∣ently indured their Heavenly Fathers Correction, shall now be received in∣to his Joy; were it not for this blessed Expectation, the Servants of God would commonly be most wretched, since their Cup is often empty, and as often filled with an unpleasant Potion; whilst their ungodly Neighbours have plenti∣ousness of Rivers to drink, but tho we grieve the less for the Death of an un∣fortunate Friend, yet his misfortunes make us grieve the more for him, whilst he lives; a certain Demonstration that the days of man are evil, as well as few, since Friendship, the most substan∣tial

pleasure in the world, only gives us the trouble of lamenting the unhappy Life, or bewailing the untimely Death of those we love: if our life then is constantly attended with such perplex∣ity, why should we be so apprehensive of our Death; and yet, except those few that are extraordinarily harras'd, the rest of us are as zealous to hug our chains; as if we dissembled when we complained of bondage, like the old man in the Fable, tho groaning under the burthen, yet we desire to bear it longer, rather then have the fatal sisters cut the thread. 'Tis true, we are told, that this aversion to Death is na∣tural, since all Animals that have sense enough to foresee their danger, indea∣vour to avoid it; whether it is an in∣stinct in nature which teaches them to flye from pain and oppression, or the fear of Annihilation, is beyond my reach, but we know when their breath is gone, they have no further being, and if we were Animals like them, we might have the like Apprehensions too, but now the sting of Death is taken away from us, by the blood of our Re∣deemer,

who graciously opens the Door of Life, to all such as patiently wait till their change shall come; and piously strive in the mean time to make their change happy; for which reason we ought neither to be discontented to live, nor unwillling to dye; and tho we must feel pain, sickness, and what∣soever else we term misfortunes, with the same senses that others do (for Religion humbles, but does not stupify) yet the knowledge that we have de∣served much more stripes from our great Judge, must make us resolve to lay our hands upon our mouths, and our mouths in the dust; not being able to offer one word in our own justificati∣on, but must say with the Publican God be merciful to me a sinner; and when we have according to our Duties prostrated our Souls before him, resign∣ing our selves, and all that is dear to us, to his most wise disposal; let us in Gods Name rise up chearfully and make our own way to Heaven, looking up to Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith, and to the Examples of those blessed Saints that have gone before us,

in which number you have reason to think, your dear husband deserves a place; and therefore give me leave to tell you, you are very much in the wrong, in permitting your tears to flow upon the reflection of his Accomplishments, which he is now, (and not till now) re∣ceiving the reward of; and since he has been faithful in improving those gifts, that God indued him with, and as far as Man could do, has answer'd the Character, which David in the fifteenth Psalm gives of him that shall rest upon the Holy hill, as you cannot envy, so I hope, you will not lament his proportion, nor grieve so excessively for his Death, which exalts him to such a pitch of honour; and as you al∣ways thought it your happiness to have him easy whilst he was with you endeavour at least) to show for his sake, you can submit to have him so without you; Your most flattering hopes could promise you the injoyment of him but a very little longer, and if it were in your choice, whether you would live five years with so good an husband, or ten years with a worse, I know you

would chuse the former; and now since God has been so gracious, not only to give you a Man that exceeded your wishes▪ but let you pass thrice that number of years, in mutual Love with∣out the least disgust; you must not spend all the remainder of your time, in thinking upon what you have lost; but consider how very few women are so blest at all, and of those few how seldom their happiness lasts so long as yours has done; so it pleaseth our hea∣venly father to order it, that he may draw us by afflictions nearer to him∣self, and never continueth in one stay; being therefore we are so fully convinc∣ed of the vicissitudes of this Life, let us receive every alteration with such a sted∣diness of mind, as becomes the Ser∣vants of God, who has promised to lay no more upon us, then he will inable us to bear, as I hope you will experi∣ence that mercy, to assist you in this tryal of your faith and patience; and that you may find no decay, no want of either, is the hearty prayer of Yours.