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DEarly Beloved Brethren, my Time is little, and my Strength but small, yet I could not consent that you should pass without receiving some parting Counsel, and what I have to say at Parting, shall be chiefly to you that are Pri∣soners, and partly also to you our Friends, that are here
met together. To you that are Prisoners, I shall speak some∣thing by way of Exhortation, and something by way of De∣hortation.
First, Rejoyce with trembling in your Prison-Comforts, and see that you keep them in a Thankful-Remembrance. Who can tell the Mercies that you have received here? My time, nor strength, will not suffice me to recapitulate them. See that you rejoyce in GOD, but rejoyce with trembling. Do not think the account will be little for Mercies, so many and so great. Receive these choice Mercies with a trembling hand, for fear lest you should be found guilty of misimpro∣ving such precious benefits, and so wrath should be upon you from the Lord. Remember Hezekiah's case, great Mercies did he receive, some Praises he did return, but not according to the benefit done unto him; therefore was wrath upon him from the Lord, and upon all Judah for his sake, 2 Chron. 32. 25. Therefore go away with a holy Fear upon your hearts, lest you should forget the loving kindness of the Lord, and should not render to him according to what you have received.
Oh my Brethren, stir up your selves to render praises to the Lord: You are the People that GOD hath formed for his Praise, and sent hither for his Praise; and you should now go Home as so many Trumpets to sound forth the Praises of GOD, when you come among your Friends. There is an Expression, Psal. 68. 11. The Lord gave the Word, great was the company of them that published it. So let it be said of the Praises of God now, Great was the company of them that published them. GOD hath sent a whole Troop of you here together, let all these go home and sound the praises of GOD where-ever you come; and this is the way to make his Praise glorious indeed. Shall I tell you a Story that I have read: There was a certain King that had a pleasant Grove, and that he might make it every way delightful to him, he caused some Birds to be caught, and to be kept up in Cages, till they had learned sundry sweet and artificial Tunes; and when they were perfect in their Lessons, he let them Abroad out of their Cages into his Grove, that while he was walk∣ing
in this Grove, he might hear them singing those pleasant Tunes, and teaching them to other Birds that were of a wild∣er Note. Brethren, this King is GOD, this Grove is his Church, these Birds are your selves, this Cage is the Prison; GOD hath sent you hither, that you should learn the sweet and pleasant Notes of his Praise, And I trust that you have learned something all this while, GOD forbid else. Now GOD opens the Cage, and lets you forth into the Grove of his Church, that you may sing forth his Praises, and that o∣thers may learn of you too. Forget not therefore the Songs of the House of your Pilgrimage, do not return to your wild Notes again; keep the Mercy of GOD for ever in a thank∣ful Remembrance, and make mention of them humbly as long as you live; then shall you answer the end for which he sent you hither: I trust you will not forget this place. When Queen Mary died, she said, That if they did rip her up, they should find Callis on her Heart. I hope that men shall find by you hereafter, that the Prison is upon your heart, Lichester is upon your heart.
Secondly, Feed and feast your Faith upon Prison-Experi∣ences. Do not think that GOD hath done this onely for your present supply. Brethren, GOD hath provided for you, not only for your present supply in Prison, but to lay up for all your Lives, that experience that your Faith must live upon, till Faith be turned into Vision. Learn dependance upon GOD, and confidence in GOD, by all the Experiences that you have had here, Because thou hast been my help (saith the Psalmist) therefore under the shadow of thy Wing will I rejoyce. Are you at a loss at any time, then remember your Bonds. We read in Scripture of a time when there was no Smith in all Israel, and the Israelites were fain to carry their Goads and other Instruments, to be sharpened, down to the Phili∣stines: So when your Spirits are low, and when your Faith is dull, carry them to the Prison to be sharpened and quick∣ned. Oh how hath the Lord confuted all our fears! Cared for all our necessities! The Faith of some of you was sorely put to it for Corporal Necessities: You came hither, not ha∣ving any thing considerable to pay for your Charges here, but GOD took care for that: And you left poor miserable Fa∣milies at home, and no doubt but many troublesome thoughts
were in your minds, what your Families should do for Bread, but GOD hath provided for them.
We that are Ministers, left poor starvling Flocks, and we thought that the Countrey had been now stript, and yet GOD hath provided for them. Thus hath the Lord been pleased to furnish us with Arguments for our Faith, against we come to the next distress: Though you should be called forth to leave your Flocks destitute, you that are my Brethren in the Mini∣stry, and others their Families destitute, yet doubt not but GOD will provide, remember your Bonds upon all occasions. Whensoever you are in distress, remember your old Friend, remember your tryed Friend.
Thirdly, Let Divine Mercy be as Oyl to the flame of your Love: O love the Lord all ye his Saints. Brethren, this is the Language of all GOD's dealings with you, they all call upon you to love the Lord your God with all your hearts, with all your Souls, with all your strength. What hath GOD been doing ever since you came to this Prison? All that he hath been doing since you came hither, hath been to pour Oyl into the flames of your Love, thereby to encrease and heigh∣ten them. GOD hath lost all these Mercies upon you, if you do not love him better then you did before. You have had supplies; to what purpose is it, unless you love GOD the more? If they that be in want, love him better than you, it were better you had been in their case. You have had health here, but if they that be in sickness love GOD better than you, it were better you had been in sickness too: See that you love your Father, that hath been so tender of you. What hath GOD been doing, but pouring out his Love upon you? How were we mistaken? For my part, I thought that GOD took us upon his Knee to Whip us, but he took us upon his Knee to Dandle us. We thought to have felt the strokes of his Anger, but he hath stroked us as a Father his Children, with most dear Affection. Who can utter his loving Kind∣ness! What (my Brethren) shall we be 〈◊〉〈◊〉 than Publicans? the Publicans will love those that love them. Will not you return Love for so much Love? Far be this from you, Bre∣thren, you must not only exceed the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, but the Pha∣risees too; therefore, surely you must love him that loveth you. This is my Business now to bespeak your love to GOD,
to unite your hearts to him; Blessed be God for this Occa∣sion, for my part I am unworthy of it. Now if I can get your Hearts nearer to GOD than they were, then happy am I, and blessed are you: Fain I would, that all these Experi∣ences should knit our Hearts to GOD more, and endear us for ever to him. What? So much bounty and kindness, and no returns of Love? At least no further returns? I may plead in the behalf of the Lord with you, as they did for the Centurion: He loveth our Nation (say they) and hath built us a Synagogue. So I may say here, He hath loved you, and poured out his Bounty upon you. How many friendly Visits from those that you could but little expect of? Whence do you think this came? It is GOD that hath the Key of all these Hearts. He secretly turned the Cock, and caused them to pour forth kindness upon you: There is not a motion of love in the Heart of a Friend towards you, but it was GOD that put it in.
Fourthly, Keep your Manna in a Golden Pot, and forget not him that hath said so often, Remember me. You have had Manna rained plentifully about you, be sure that something of it be kept. Do not forget all the Sermons that you have heard here: O that you would labour to repeat them over, to live them over! You have had such a Stock that you may live upon, and your Friends too (if you be communicative) a great while together: If any thing have been wanting, time for the Digesting hath been wanting. See that you well Chew the Cud, and see that you especially remember the Feasts of Love. Do not you know who hath said to you so often, Remember me? How often have you heard that sweet Word since you came hither? What? Do you think it is enough to remember him for an hour? No, but let it be a living and lasting remembrance. Do not you write that Name of his in the Dust, that hath written your Names upon his Heart. Your High Priest hath your Names upon his Heart, and there∣with is entered into the Holy Place, and keeps them there for a Memorial before the Lord continually. O that his Re∣membrance might be ever written upon your Hearts, writ∣ten as with a Pen of a Diamond, upon Tables of Marble, that might never be worn out! That as Aristotle saith of the cu∣tious Fabrick of Minerva, that he had so ordered the Fa∣brick,
that his Name was written in the midst, that if any went to take that out, the whole Fabrick was dissolved. So the Name of Jesus should be written upon the substance of your Souls, that they should pull all 〈◊〉〈◊〉, before they should be able to pull it out.
Fifthly, Let the Bonds of your Affliction, strengthen the Bonds of your Affection. Brethren, GOD hath sent us hi∣ther to teach us among other things, the better to Love one another. Love is lovely, both in the sight of GOD and Men, and if by your Imprisonment you have profited in Love, then you have made an acceptable proficiency. O Brethren, look within; Are you not more indeared one to another? I bless the Lord for that Union and Peace that hath been ever among you; but you must be sensible that we come very far short of that Love that we owe one to another; we have not that love, that indearedness, that tenderness, that com∣placency, that compassion towards each other, that we ought to have. Ministers should be more indeared one to another, and Christians should be more dear to each other, then they were before. We have eaten and drunk together, and lived on our Fathers Love in one Family together; we have been joyned together in one common Cause, and all put in∣to one Bottom: O let the Remembrance of a Prison, and of what hath passed here, especially those Uniting Feasts, ingage you to love one another.
Sixthly, Let present Indulgence fit you for future hard∣ships, and do not look that your Father should be alwayes dandling you on his Knee. Beloved, GOD hath used you like Fondlings now, rather than like Sufferers: What shall I say? I am at a loss, when I think of the tender indulgence, and the yearnings of the Bowels of our Heavenly Father upon us. But (my Brethren) do not look for such Prisons a∣gain.
Affliction doth but now play and sport with you, rather than Bite you; but do you look that Affliction should here∣after fasten its Teeth on you to purpose: And do you look that the Hand that hath now gently stroked you, may possi∣bly buffet you, and put your Faith hard to it, when you come to the next Tryal. This fondness of your Heavenly Father, is to be expected only while you are young and tender, but
afterward you must look to follow your Business, and to keep your distance, and to have rebukes and frowns too when you need them. Bless GOD for what you have found here, but prepare you, this is but the beginning, (shall I say the be∣ginning of Sorrow, I cannot say so; for the Lord hath made it a place of Rejoycing) this is but the entrance of our Afflicti∣on; but you must look, that when you are trained up to a bet∣ter perfection, GOD will put your Faith to harder Exercise.
Seventhly, Cast up your accounts at your Return, and see whether you have gone as much forward in your Souls, as you have gone backward in your Estates. I cannot be insensi∣ble, but some of you are here to very great disadvantage, as to your Affairs in the World, having left your business so rawly at home in your Shops, Trades, and Callings, that it is like to be no little detriment to you, upon this Account: But happy are ye, if you find at your return, that as much as your Affairs are gone backward, and behind-hand, so much your Souls have gone forward. If your Souls go forward in Grace by your Sufferings, blessed be GOD that hath brought you to such a place as a Prison is.
Eightly, Let the Snuffers of this Prison make your Light burn the brighter, and see that your Course and Discourse be the more savoury, serious, and Spiritual for this present Tryal. O Brethren! Now the Voice of the Lord is to you, as it is in the Prophet Isaiah 60. 1. Arise, and shine, now let your Light shine before men, that others may see your good Works, and glorifie your Father which is in Heaven. It is said of those Preachers beyond Sea, that have been sent into England, and here reaped the benefit of our English practical Divinity: At their Return, they have Preached so much better than they had wont to do, that it hath been said of them: Apparuit hunc fuisse in Angliâ. So do you my Brethren, Live so much better than you had wont, that when men shall see the change in your Lives, they may say of you, Apparuit hunc fuisse in Custodiâ. See that your whole Course and Discourse be more Spiritual and Heavenly than ever. See that you shine in your Families when you come Home; be you better Husbands, better Masters, better Fathers, study to do more than you have done this way, and to approve your selves better in your Family-Relations than you did before; that the savour
of a Prison may be upon you in all Companies, then will you praise and please the Lord.
Ninthly, And lastly, See that you walk Accurately, as those that have the Eyes of GOD, Angels, and Men, upon you: (my Brethren) you will be looked upon now with very cu∣rious Eyes. GOD doth expect more of you than ever; for he hath done more for you, and he looketh what Fruit there will be of all this. Oh! may there be a sensible change upon your Souls, by the Showres that have fallen in Prison, as there is in the greenness of the Earth, by the showres that have fal∣len lately abroad.
First, Revile not your Persecutors, but bless them, and pray for them, as the Instruments of conveying great Mercies to you. Do not you so far forget the Rule of Christ, as when you come home, to be setting your Mouths to talk against those that have injured you. Remember the Command of your Lord, Bless them that curse you, pray for them that de∣spitefully use you, and persecute you. Whatsoever they intend∣ed, yet they have been Instruments of a great deal of Mercy to us; and so we should pray for them, and bless GOD for the good we have received by them.
Secondly, Let not the humble acknowledgment of GOD's Mercy degenerate into proud, Vain-glorious boasting, or Carnal-tryumph. I beseech you, see that you go home with a great deal of fear upon your Spirits in this respect, left pride should get advantage of you, left instead of humble acknowledging GOD's Mercy, there should be Carnal boast∣ing. Beware of this, I earnestly beg of you, for this will ve∣ry much spoyl your Sufferings, and be very displeasing in the sight of GOD. But let your acknowledging of his Mercy, be ever with humble Self-abasing Thankfulness, and be careful that you do not make his Mercies to be the Fuel of your Pride, which were to lose all at once.
Thirdly, Be not Prodigal of your Liberty upon a conceit that the Prisons will be easie, nor fearful of adventuring your selves in the way of your Duty. Alas! I am afraid of both
these extreams on the one hand, lest some among us, having found a great deal of Mercy here, will now think there is no need of any Christian prudence, which is alwayes necessary, and is a great duty. It is not cowardice to make use of the best means to preserve our Liberty, not decling our Duty. On the other-side, there is fear lest some may be fearful, and ready to decline their Duty; because they have newly tasted of a Prison for it. Far be it from you to distrust GOD, of whom you have had so great experience, but be sure you hold on in your duty, whatsoever it cost you.
Fourthly, Do not load others with censures, whose Judg∣ment, or Practice, differs from yours, but humbly bless GOD that hath so happily directed you. You know all are not of the same mind as to the Circumstances of Suffering, and all have not gone the same way. Far be it from any of you (my Brethren) that you should so far forget your selves, as to be unmerciful to your Brethren, but bless GOD that hath di∣rected you into a better way. Your charity must grow higher than ever; GOD forbid that you should increase in Censures, instead of increasing in Charity.
Having spoken to my Fellow-Prisoners, I have two Words to speak to you our Friends and Brethren with us.
First, Let our experience be your incouragement. O love the Lord, ye our Friends, love the Lord, fear him for ever, believe in him, trust in him for ever, for our sakes; we have tasted of the kindness of GOD.
You know how good GOD hath been to us in Spirituals & in Temporals. Encourage your hearts in the Lord your God, serve him the more freely and gladly for our sakes. You see we have tryed, we have tasted how good the Lord is: Do you trust him the more, because we have tryed him so much, and found him a Friend so Faithful, so Gracious, that we are uttterly unable to speak his Praise. Go on and fear not in the way of your Duty: Verily there is a reward for the Righteous. GOD hath given us a great reward already, but this is but the least, we look for a Kingdom.
Secondly, and lastly, My desire is to our Friends, that they will all help us in our Praises. Our Tongues are too little to speak forth the Goodness and the Grace of GOD, do you help us in our Praises. Love the Lord the better, Praise him the
more, and what is wanting in us, let it be made good by you. O that the Praises of GOD may sound abroad in the Coun∣try by our means, and for our sakes.
HE was prevented of going to the Waters, by his last Impri∣sonment; for want of which, his Distempers increased much upon him all the Winter after, and the next Spring more 〈◊〉〈◊〉 yet not so as to take him fully off from his Work, but he Preached, and kept many Dayes, and Administred the Sacra∣ment among them frequently.
But going up to the Waters in July 1667, they had a con∣trary effect upon him, from what they had at first: For after three dayes taking them, he fell into a Feaver, which seised on his Spirits, and decayed his strength exceedingly, so that he seemed very near Death: But the Lord then again revoked the Sentence passed upon him, and enabled him in six Weeks to return again to his People, where he much desired to be: But finding, at his return, great decay of his strength, and a weakness in all his Limbs, he was willing to go to Dorchester, to advise further with Doctor Lose, a very Worthy and Re∣verend Physitian, from whom he had received many Medicines, but never conversed with him, nor had seen him, which he conceived might conduce more to his full Cure.
The Doctor soon perceiving my Husbands weakness, per∣swaded him to continue for a fortnight or three weeks there, that he might the better advise him, and alter his Remedies, as he should see occasion; which motion was readily yeelded un∣to by us.
But we had not been there above five dayes, before the use of all his Limbs was taken away on a sudden; one day his Arms wholly failing, the next his Legs; so that he could not go, nor stand, nor move a Finger, nor turn in his Bed, but as my self and another did turn him night and day in a Sheet: All means failing, he was given over by Physiti∣and and Friends, that saw him lie some weeks in cold Sweats night and day, and many times for some hours toge∣ther, half his Body cold, in our apprehensions, dying; recei∣ving nothing but the best Cordials that Art could invent, and Almond Milk, or a little thin Broth once in three or four days. Thus he lay from September 28, to November 16. before he
began to Revive, or it could be discerned that Remedies did at all prevail against his Diseases: In all this time he was still chearful, and when he did speak, it was not at all complaining, but alwayes praising and admiring God for his Mercies; but his Spirits were so low, that he spake seldom, and very soft∣ly. He still told us he had no pain at all, and when his Friends admired his Patience, he would say; God had not yet tryed him in any thing, but laying him aside out of his Work, and keeping him out of Heaven; but through Grace he could submit to his pleasure, waiting for him: It was Pain he ever feared, and that he had not yet felt; so tender was his Father of him; and he wanted strength (as he often told us) to speak more of his Love, and to speak for God who had been, and was still so gracious to him. Being often askt by my self and others, how it was with his Spirit in all this weakness? he would answer: He had not those ravishing joys that he expected, and that some Believers did partake of; but he had a sweet serenity of Heart, and confidence in God, grounded on the Promises of the Gospel, and did believe it would be well with him to all eternity.
In all this time, I never heard one impatient word from him, nor could upon my strictest observation, discern the least dis∣content with this state; though he was a pitiful Object to all others that beheld him, being so consumed, besides the loss of the use of his Limbs: Yet the Lord did support and quiet his Spirit, that he lay as if he had endured nothing; breaking out often most affectionately in commending the kindness of the Lord to him, saying, Goodness and Mercy had followed him all his dayes.
And indeed the loving kindness and care of God was sin∣gular to us in that place, which I cannot but mention to his praise.
We came Strangers thither, and being in our Inn, we found it very uncomfortable; yet were fearful to impose our selves on any private House: But necessity inforcing, we did enquire for a Chamber, but could not procure one; the Small Pox being very hot in most Families, and those that had them not, daily expecting them, and so could not spare Rooms, as else they might. But the Lord who saw our affliction, inclined the heart of a very good Woman, (a Mini∣sters
Widdow) one Mrs. Bartlet, to come and invite us to a Lodging in her House; which we readily and thankfully accepted off; where we were so accommodated, as we could not have been any where else in the Town, especially in re∣gard of the assistance I had from four young Women who li∣ved under the same roof, and so were ready, night and day, to help 〈◊〉〈◊〉, (I having no Servant nor Friend near me) we being so unsetled, I kept none, but had alwayes tended him my self to that time: And the Ministers and Christians of that place were very compassionate towards us, visiting and Praying with and for us often: And Dr. Lose visited him twice a day for twelve or fourteen Weeks, except when he was called out of Town, refusing any Fees tendered to him: The Gentry in and about the Town, and others, sending to us what-ever they imagined might be pleasing to him; fur∣nishing him with all delicates that might be grateful to one so weak; So that he wanted neither Food nor Physick, ha∣ving not only for necessity, but for delight, and he did much delight himself in the consideration of the Lord's kindness to him in the love he received, and would often say, I was a Stranger, and Mercy took me in; in Prison, and it came to me; sick and weak, and it visited me. There was also ten young Women, besides the four in the House, that took their turns to watch with him constantly; for twelve weeks space I ne∣ver wanted one to help me: And the Lord was pleased to shew his power so in strengthening me, that I was every night (all these Weeks in the depth of Winter) one that helped to turn him, never lying out of the Bed one night from him, but every time he called or wanted any thing, was waking to assist her in the Chamber, though as some of them have said they did tell, that we did turn him more than 40 times a Night, he seldom sleeping at all in the Night, in all those Weeks: Though his tender Affections were such, as to have had me sometimes lain in another Room, yet mine were such to him, that I could not bear it, the thoughts of it being worse to me than the trouble or disturbance he accounted I had with him, for I feared none would do any thing about him with such ease; neither would he suffer any one all the day to touch him but me, or to give him any thing that he did receive; by which I discerned it was most grateful to him,
and therefore so to me; And I never found any want of my Rest, nor did get so much as a Cold all that Winter, though I do not remember that for 14 or 15 years before, I could ever say I was one month free of a most violent Cough, which if I had been molested with then, would have been a great additi∣on to his and my affliction; and he was not a little taken with the goodness of God to me in the time of all his sickness, but especially that Winter; for he being not able to help himself in the least, I could not be from him night nor day, with any com∣fort to him or my self.
In this condition he kept his Bed till December the 18th. And then, beyond all expectation, though in the depth of Winter, began to revive and go out of his Bed; but he could neither stand nor go, nor yet move a finger, having sense in all his Limbs, but not the least motion: As his strength did increase, he learnt to go, (as he would say) first by being led by two of us, then by one; and when he could go one turn in his Chamber, though more weakly, and with more fear than the weakest Child that ever I saw, he was won∣derfully taken with the Lord's Mercy to him: By February he was able, with a little help, to walk in the Streets; (but not to feed himself) nor to go up or down stairs without much help.
When he was deprived of the use of his Limbs, looking down on his Arms, as I held him up by all the strength I had: He again listed up his Eyes from his useless Arms to. Heaven, and with a chearful countenance said: The Lord hath given, and the Lord hath taken, and blessed be the Name of the Lord.
Being asked by a Friend, How he could be so well contented to lie so long under such weakness? He answered,
What, is God my Father, Jesus Christ my Saviour, and the Spirit my sweet Friend, my Comforter, and Sanctifyer, and Heaven my Inheritance? Shall I not be content without Limbs and Health? Through Grace I am fully satisfied with my Fa∣thers pleasure.
To another that asked him the same, he Answers, I have chosen God, and he is become mine, and I know with whom I have trusted my self, which is enough: He is an unreasonable wretch that cannot be content with a God, though he had no∣thing
else: My interest in God is all my joy.
His Friends (some of Taunton) coming to Dorcester to see him, he was much revived, and would be set up in his Bed, and have all the Curtains drawn, and desired them to stand round about the Bed, and would have me take out his Hand, and hold it out to them, that they might shake him, though he could not them; as he used formerly to do, when he had been absent from them: And as he was able, thus he spake to them: O how it rejoyces my heart to see your Faces, and to hear your Voices, though I cannot speak as heretofore to you: Methinks I am now like Old Jacob, with all his Sons about him: Now you see my weak estate; thus have I been for many weeks, since I parted with Taunton, but God hath been with me, and I hope with you; your Prayers have been heard, and answered, for me many wayes; the Lord return them in∣to your own Bosoms. My Friends, Life is mine, Death is mine, in that Covenant I was preaching of to you, is all my Salvation, and all my desire; although my Body do not prosper, I hope through Grace my Soul doth.
I have lived a sweet Life by the Promises, and I hope through Grace can Die by a Promise: It is the Promises of God which are everlasting, that will stand by us: Nothing but God in them will stead us in a day of Affliction.
My dear Friends, I feel the power of those Doctrines I Preached to you, on my Heart: Now the Doctrines of Faith, of Repentance, of Self-denyal, of the Covenant of Grace, of Contentment, and the rest; O that you would live them over, now I cannot Preach to you.
It is a shame for a Believer to be cast down under Afflictions, that hath so many glorious Priviledges, Justification, Adop∣tion, Sanctification, and eternal Glory. We shall be as the Angels of God in a little while: Nay, to say the truth, Be∣lievers are, as it were, little Angels already, that live in the power of Faith. O my Friends! Live like Believers, trample this dirty World under your feet; Be not taken with its Com∣forts, nor disquieted with its Crosses, You will be gone out of it shortly.
When they came to take their leaves of him, he would Pray with them as his weak state would suffer him; and in the words of Moses, and of the Apostles, Blessed them.
The same he alwayes used after a Sacrament: The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord cause his Face to shine upon you, and give you peace. And the God of Peace, that brought again from the Dead our Lord Jesus, through the Blood of the Ever∣lasting Covenant, make you perfect in every good Work to do his Will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
And then spake thus, [Farewell, farewell my dear Friends] Remember me to all Taunton; I beseech you and them, if I never see your faces more, go Home and live over what I have preached to you, and the Lord provide for you when I am gone: O! let not all my labours and sufferings, let not my wasted strength, my useless Limbs, rise up in judgment against you at the great Day of the LORD.
Another time, some coming to Visit him there, he spake thus to them: O! my Friends, let your whole Conversation be as becomes the Gospel of Christ; whether I am present or absent, live to what I have spoken to you in the Name of the Lord: Now I cannot Preach to you, let my wasted strength, my useless Limbs, be a Sermon to you: Behold me, I cannot move a finger; all this is come upon me for your sakes, and the Gospel; It is for Christ and you that I have thus spent out my self: I am afraid of you, lest some of you, after all that I have spoken to you, should be lost in the World. There are many Professors who can pray well, and talk well, whom we shall find at the left Hand of Christ another day: You have your Trades, your Estates, your Relations; be not taken with these, but with God: O live on him! For the Lord's sake go Home and take heed of the World, worldly Cares, worldly Com∣forts, worldly Friends, &c. Saying thus,
The Lord having given Authority to his Ministers to bless his People, accordingly I bless you in his Name, using the same words as before, and so parted with them; with many other dear Expressions of his Love to them and the Town.
And thus he was used to Converse with all that came to Visit him, as he was able, looking alwayes chearfully upon them, and never complaining of any Affliction he was un∣der, except it were to excite his Taunton Friends to their Duties.
In February, he being very desirous to return among his People, he moved it to his Doctor, who consented to it, fearing that Air might be too keen for him in March: And hoping that it might much add to his Cure, to satisfie his mind.
In a Horse-Litter I removed him: He was much pleased at the sight of the Place, and his People, who came flocking about him; and he seemed to increase in strength, so that he was able to feed himself the Week after he came Home: But I fearing the frequent Visits of his Friends might be pre∣judicial to him, perswaded him to remove to Mr. Mallacks House, which he was again invited to, and most courteously entertained.
And thus he continued increasing in strength, till the be∣ginning of April, and then he began to decline again, and was taken after some dayes with Convulsion Fits, as he sat in his Chamber one Afternoon, and had three or four more fits that Night: But in the use of Means, through God's Bles∣sing, he had no more in three Weeks. One Evening being in his Chamber, he desired me to leave him a while alone; which I was very unwilling to do, but his importunity made me to go down from him: But in less than half a quarter of an hour, he was fallen to the Ground in one of his former Fits, and had hurt his Face; and from his Nose came much Blood, which was very clotted and corrupt, which Physitians see∣ing, did conclude (though it were grievous to me, that un∣der such Weakness, he should have so sad an Accident) that the fall saved his life: For had not that Blood come from his Head, he had, so far as they could rationally judge, died in that Fit, which took away his Senses for the present; but he went to Bed, and slept so well that night, as he had not in many Weeks before; so that my Self, and Friends, feared that he had been in an Apoplexy: But he awaked about six in the Morning, much refreshed, and full of the Praises of God for his Mercies to him, being very sensible how sudden∣ly he was surprised the Evening before. After this, he lived alwayes expecting Death, saying often to me and his Friends, It is but a puff, and I am gone; And therefore would, every Night after he had been at Prayer, bid all the Family farewel, telling them, He might be dead before the Morning; and 〈◊〉〈◊〉
some holy Counsels to them, would depart to his Cham∣ber: All the while I was undressing him, he would be dis∣coursing of Spiritual things, it being all his delight; and when we lay down to rest, his last words were usually, [We shall shortly be in another Bed, therefore it is good to mind it, and provide for it apace; farewel my Dear Heart, the Lord bless thee] and so he would go to his Rest. In his Health and Sickness, his first Speeches in the Mornings would be, [Now we have one day more; here is one more for God; now let us live well this day; work hard for our Souls; lay up much Treasure in Heaven this day, for we have but a few to live.]
After this, the strength of his Limbs, which were decayed, returned again, and he was, beyond all expectation, so far recovered, that we had no fears of his relapsing again: His Appetite, and Rest, and all repaired. But about the sixth of May, he began again to find weakness in his Stomach, which in a few dayes so grew upon him, that he lost his Limbs again; and on the 12th of May, in the Morning, having lain some dayes and nights in cold Sweats, as heretofore at Dorchester, he was again seised with Convulsions, first lying four hours with his eyes fixed to Heaven, not speaking one Word, not in the least moving himself, my self and Friends weeping by him, at last he spake to us with a very audible Voice, [Weep not for me, my Work is done] and seemed to be full of Matter to utter to us, but was immediately seised with a tertible Convulsion, which was sad to behold; it so altered his Countenance, and put him into such Sweats, that 'twas strange to see how the drops lay and run down his Face, and Hands, and Body: This held him two hours or more, and ceased, but he was left by it without any sense; and in a quarter of an hour, or little more, fell into another, in which he ratled, and was cold, so that we apprehended every breath would be his last. The Physitian who was then by him, accounted his Pulse to be gone, and that he would be dead in a few minutes: But the Lord shewed his Power here once again in raising him, so that many that came and saw him, that heard the next day he was alive, would not believe till they came and saw him again. These violent Fits went off about twelve a Clock, and he revived, but had no sense to converse with us
till the next day, nor did he perfectly recover them four dayes after, and then was as before, and so continued very weak till July, no strength coming into his Hands or Legs; for the most part confined to his Bed, but still chearful in his Spirit, and free to discourse with any that came to visit him, as long as he was able.
But the Lord had yet more work for him to do: I seeing him lie so hopeless, as to his Life or Limbs, and considering the Winter was growing on apace, I proposed it to the Do∣ctors to have him to the Bath; some were for it, others a∣gainst it; acquainting my Husband with it, he was much pleased with it, and so earnest in it, that I sent immediately to Bath for a Horse-Litter, and the Lord was pleased strange∣ly to appear in strengthening him for his Journey; so that he that had not in many weeks been out of his Bed and Cham∣ber, was able in two dayes to reach near forty miles, (but when he came to Bath, the Doctors there seemed to be much amazed to behold such an Object, professing they never saw the like) much wondering how he was come alive such a Journey, and doubted much to put him in: But he having tryed all Artificial Baths, and Oyntments, and Plaisters before, he resolved, against their Judgment, to adventure himself.
At his first appearing in the Bath, being wasted to Skin and Bone, some of the Ladies were afrighted, as if Death had been come in among them, and could not endure to look towards him.
The first time he went in, he was able to stay but a little while, but was much refreshed, and had no symptom of his Fits, which he feared the Bath might have caused again: Through the blessing of the Lord upon this means, without any thing else, except his drinking of Goats-Milk, he that was not able to go nor stand, nor move a Finger, could in three weeks time walk about his Chamber, and feed himself: his impaired Appetite was again restored, and his strength so increased, that there seemed no doubt to the Physitians of his full recovery, he having not the least sign of any inclination to his Fits, from the twelfth of May till his Death drew nigh.
In this time of his being in Bath, his Soul was far more
strengthened with Grace; so that my self, and all that beheld him, and conversed with him, discerned sensibly his growth; and he was in the nights and dayes, so frequently with God, and often in such ravishments of Spirit, from the Joys and Con∣solations that he received from the Spirit of God, that it was oftentimes more than he could express, or his bodily strength could bear; so that for my own part, I had less hopes of his continuance on Earth than ever before: For I perceived plain∣ly, the Lord had spared him but to recover strength of Grace, and to make him a more evident instance of his singular Love, before he took him hence.
He being now more chearful than formerly, and more exceed∣ingly affectionate in his carriage to me, and to all his Friends, especially with those that were most Heavenly, the Lord was pleased to order it in his Providence; there were many such then who came to use the Bath, as Mr. Fairclough and his Wife, Mr. How of Torrington, Mr. Joseph Barnard and his Wife, and several of our Taunton Friends, and of Bristol Ministers and others, which was a great comfort to us.
His parts seemed to be more quick in his Converses, what∣ever he was put upon, either by Scholars, or those that were more Inferiour. He had many visitors there, both of strangers and Friends, who were willing to see him, and discourse with him, having heard what a monument of Mercy he was; and he would to all of them, so amplifie upon all the Passages of Gods dealings with him, as was very pleasant to all that heard him; and did affect many that were strangers to God, and to Reli∣gion, as well as to him.
He found much favour, even among the worst, both Gentry and others (such as would make a scoff at Religion, or holy Discourse from others) would hearken to him. Though he did often faithfully reprove many for their Oaths, and excess in Drinking, their lascivious Carriages, which he observed in the Bath; and there was none of them but did most thankfully ac∣cept it from him, and shewed him more respect after, than they had done before: In which he observed much of Gods goodness to 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and would often say to me: O! how good is it to be faithful to God. The vilest of these Persons, as I was by seve∣ral informed, said of him, That he never spake with such a man in his life.
His Reproofs were managed with so much respect to their Persons, and the honourable esteem he had of their Dignity, that they said, They could not but accept his Reproofs, though very close and plain: And his way was, sometime before he intended to reprove them, he would often in the Bath Con∣verse with them, of things that might be taking with them; and did so ingage their Affections, that they would willingly every day converse with him: He being furnished (from his former Studies) for any Company, designing to use it still for Holy ends; by such means hath caught many Souls.
While he was in this place, though he had many Diver∣sions, by his using the Bath constantly every day, and his fre∣quent Visits, besides his Weakness, yet he kept his constant Seasons, four times a day, for his Holy Retirements; wa∣king in the Morning constantly at or before five a Clock, and would not be disturbed till about seven, when he was carried to the Bath. Having the Curtains drawn close, he spent his time in Holy Meditation, and Prayer, and Singing, and once again before Dinner, but then he spent less time; and about half an hour before two in the Afternoon, just before he went abroad.
For though he never attained to so much strength, as to be able to walk abroad in the Streets without my leading him, or some other, yet he would be imployed for his Lord and Master. His Chair-men that used to carry him to the Bath, he appointed to fetch him about three a Clock, who carried him to Visit all the Schools and Alms-houses, and the Godly Poor, especially the Widdows; to whom he would give Money, and with whom he would Pray and Converse with them, concerning their Spiritual States, according as their Necessities required; ingaging those that were Teachers, and Governours, to Teach the Assemblies Catechism, buying many Dozens, and giving them to distribute to their Scholars; and many other small Books which he thought might be useful for them; and then would come and see, in a Week or Fortnight, what progress they had made: He also ingaged several to send their Children once a Week to him to be Ca∣techised; which they did hearken to him in: And we had about sixty or seventy Children every Lord's-Day to our Lodging, and they profited much by his Instructions, till some took
such offence at it, that he was forced to desist, and the School-Master was threatned to be cited to Wells before the Bishop, and many others afrighted from it.
He also sent for all the godly Poor he could find in that place, and entertained them at his Chamber, and gave to them every one as he was able, as a Thank-Offering to the Lord for his Mercy to him, and desired them, with several others, to keep a day of Thanksgiving for him; Mr. Fairclough, Mr. How, and Himself, performing the duties of the day.
Thus though his Sickness had been long, and his Expences great, he thought he could never spend enough for him from whom he had received all: He constantly gave Money or Ap∣ples to all the Children that came to be catechized by him, to ingage them, besides all he gave to the Teachers, and Poor, which indeed was beyond his ability, considering his Estate: But I am perswaded, he did foresee that his time would be but short; and having made a competent and comfortable provisi∣on for me, he resolved to lay up the rest in Heaven; he did of∣ten say to me, If he lived never so long, he would never increase his Estate, now I was provided for; he having no Children, God's Children should have it.
But he was yet again designing what he might do before he took his leave of the World: And his next work was, to send Letters to all his Relations and intimate Friends, in most of which he urges them to observe his Counsels, for they were like to be his last to them. I alwayes wrote for him, for he could not, by reason of his weakness, write a Line.
At this time he had a great desire to go to Mr. Joseph Bar∣nards, which was about five Miles from Bath, there to finish his last Work for God, that ever he did on Earth; which was to promote the Exercise of Catechising in Somersetshire and Wiltshire: Mr. Barnard having had a great deliverance as well as himself, he proposed this to him as their Thank-Offering to God, which they would joyntly tender to him. They had inga∣ged one to another, to give so much for the Printing of six thousand of the Assemblies Catechism, & among other Friends, to raise some Money, for to send to every Minister that would ingage in the Work, and to give to the Children for their Incou∣ragement in Learning: This Work was finished by Mr. Bar∣nard, after my Husband was gone to his Rest.
He finding himself to decline again, apprehended it was for want of using the Bath, and therefore desired to return, and I being fearful he should ride home, seeing some Symp∣toms of his Fits, sent for the Horse-Litter, and so carried him again to Bath: Where, by the Doctors advice, after he had taken some things to prepare his Body, he made use of the Hot Bath (the Cross-Bath being then too cold) and so he did for four dayes, and seemed to be refreshed, and the strength that he had in his Limbs to recover, rather than abate; and two of his Taunton Friends coming to see him, he was chearful with them: But on the third of November, I discerned a great change in his Countenance, and he found a great alteration in himself, but concealed it from me, as I heard after: For some Friends coming to visit him, he desi∣red them to pray for him, for his time was very short; But desired them not to tell me of it: All that day he would not permit me to move out of the Chamber from him, except once while those Friends were with him. After we had dined, he was in more then ordinary manner transported with Affe∣ction towards me; which he expressed, by his returning me thanks for all my pains and care for him and with him, and putting up many most affectionate requests for me to GOD, before he would suffer me to rise as we sat together: At Night again, at Supper, before I could rise from him, he spake thus to me.
Well, now my dear Heart, my Companion in all my Tribu∣lations and Afflictions, I thank thee for all thy pains and la∣bours for me, at Home and Abroad, in Prison and Liberty, in Health and Sickness; reckoning up many of the Places we had been in, in the dayes of our affliction: And with many other most endearing and affectionate Expressions, he concluded with many Holy Breathings to God for me, that he would re∣quite me, and never forget me, and fill me with all manner of Grace and Consolations, and that his Face might still shine upon me, and that I might be supported and carried through all difficulties.
After this he desired me to see for a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉〈◊〉; and I procuring one for him, he turned his 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, that I might not see, and read the 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 Death in the latter end of that Book; which I 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 of him, Whe∣ther
he did apprehend his end was near? To which he replyed, He knew not, in a few dayes I would see; and so fell into Discourse, to divert me; desiring me to read two Chapters to him, as I used to do every night; and so he hasted to Bed, not being able to go to Prayer; and with his own hands did very hastily undoe his Coat and Doublet, which he had not done in many months before: As soon as he was in Bed he told me, He felt some more than ordinary stoppage in his Head; and I brought him something to prevent the Fits, which I feared: But in a quarter of an hour after he fell into a very strong Convulsion: Which I being much afrighted at, called for help, and sent for the Doctors; used all former and other means, but no success the Lord was pleased to give then to any: But they continued for two dayes and nights, not cea∣sing one hour.
This was most grievous to me, that I saw him so like to de∣part, and that I should hear him speak no more to me; fearing it would harden the Wicked to see him removed by such a stroak: For his Fits were most terrible to behold: And I earnestly besought the Lord, that if it were his plea∣sure, he would so far mitigate the heavy 〈◊〉〈◊〉 I saw was coming upon me, by causing him to utter something of his Heart before he took him from me; which he gratiously answered me in; for he that had not spoke from Tuesday Night, did on Friday Morning, about three a Clock, call for me to come to him, speaking very understandingly between Times, all that day: But that Night about nine a Clock he brake out with an audible voice, speaking for sixteen hours to∣gether, those and such like words as you formerly had account of; and did cease but a very little space, now and then, all the Afternoon, till about six on Saturday in the Evening, when he departed.
About three in the Afternoon he had, as we perceived, some conflict with Satan, for he uttered these words;
Away thou foul Fiend, thou Enemy of all Man-kind, thou subtile Sophister, art thou come now to molest me! Now I am just going! Now I am so weak, and Death upon me. Trou∣ble me not, for I am none of thine! I am the Lords, Christ is mine, and I am his: His by Covenant; I have sworn my self to be the Lords, and his I will be: Therefore be gone.
These last words he repeated often, which I took muc' no∣tice of; That his covenanting with God was the means 〈◊〉〈◊〉 used to expel the Devil and all his Temptations.
The time we were in Bath, I had very few hours alone with him, by reason of his constant using the Bath, and Visits of Friends from all Parts thereabouts, and sometimes from Taun∣ton; and when they were gone, he would be either retyring to GOD, or to his Rest: But what time I had with him, he alwayes spent in Heavenly and Profitable Discourse, speaking much of the Place he was going to, and his Desires to be gone: One Morning as I was dressing him, he looked up to Heaven and smiled, and I urging him to know why, he answered me thus,
Ah my Love, I was thinking of my Marriage Day, it will be shortly: O what a joyful day will that be! Will it not, think∣est thou my dear Heart?
Another time, bringing him some Broth, he said, Blessed be the Lord for these refreshments in the way home; but O how sweet will Heaven be!
Another time, I hope to be shortly where I shall need no Meat, nor Drink, nor Cloaths.
When he looked on his weak consumed Hands, he would say, These shall be changed; This vile Body shall be made like to Christs Glorious Body.
O what a glorious Day will the Day of the Resurrection be! Methinks I see it by Faith; How will the Saints lift up their heads and rejoyce, and how sadly will the wicked World look then!
O come let us make haste, our Lord will come shortly, let us prepare.
If we long to be in Heaven, let us hasten with our Work; for when that is done, away we shall be fetcht.
O this vain foolish dirty World, I wonder how reasonable Creatures can so dote upon it! What is in it worth the looking after! I care not to be in it longer than while my Mvster hath either doing, or suffering work for me, were that done, farewel to Earth.
He was much in commending the Love of Christ, and from that exciting himself and me to obedience to him, often speak∣ing of his Sufferings and of his Glory.
〈◊〉〈◊〉 Of his Love-Letters, as he called the Holy History of his Life, Death, Resurrection, Ascention, and his Second com∣ing; The thoughts of which he seemed alwayes to be much ravished with.
He would be frequently reckoning the choice Tokens Christ had sent him, which I remember he would frequently reckon up, 1. The Pardon of Sin. 2. A Patent for Heaven. 3. The Gift of the Spirit. 4. The Robe of his Righteousness. 5. The spoyles of Enemies. 6. The Charter of all Liberties and Privi∣ledges. 7. The Guard of his Angels. The consideration of this last he did frequently solace himself in, saying to me of∣ten, when we lived alone in the Prison, and divers other Pla∣ces; Well, my Dear, though we have not our Attendants and Servants as the Great Ones, and Rich of the World have, we have the Blessed Angels of God still to wait upon us, to mini∣ster to us, and to watch over us while we are sleeping; to be with us when journeying, and still to preserve us from the rage of Men and Devils.
He was exceedingly affected with the three last Chapters of Saint John's Gospel, especially Christ's parting Words, and Prayer for his Disciples. But it is time for me to set a stop to my Pen, God did pour into him, and he did pour out so much, that it was scarce possible to retain the Converses of one day, without a constant Register: His Heart, his Lips, his Life was filled up with Grace; In which he did thine both in Health and Sickness, Prosperity and Adversity, in Prison and at Li∣berty, in his own House, and in the Churches of Christ, where∣ever he came: I never heard any that conversed with him, but would acknowledge it was to their advantage.
At my Husbands first coming to Taunton, he was entertain∣ed by Mr. Newton as a Sojourner, and after he was ordained in Taunton in a Publick Association Meeting, he administred all Ordinances joyntly with him; though he were but an Assistant, Mr. Newton would have it so, who dearly loved him, and highly esteemed of him; and seeing him restless in his Spirit, and putting himself to many tedious Journeys to visit me, (as he did once a Fortnight 25 miles) he perswaded him to marry, contrary to our purpose, we resolving to have lived much lon∣ger single. The 4th of October 1655. after a year and two Months acquaintance, our Marriage was consummated.
And we lived together with Mr. Newton, near two years, where we were most courteously entertained, and then hope∣ing to be more useful in our Station, we took a House, and I having been alwayes bred to work, undertook to teach a School, and had many Tablers, and Scholars, our Family be∣ing seldome less than Twenty, and many times Thirty; My School usually fifty or sixty of the Town and other places. And the Lord was pleased to bless us exceedingly in our en∣deavours: So that many were converted in a few years, that were before Strangers to God: All our Scholars called him Father: And indeed he had far more care of them than most of their natural Parents, and was most tenderly affectionate to them, but especially to their Souls.
His course in his Family was Prayer, and reading the Scriptures, and singing twice a day, except when he cate∣chised, which was constantly once, if not twice a Week: Of every Chapter that was read, he expected an account of, and of every Sermon, either to himself or me: He dealt with them and his Servants frequently together, and apart, about their Spiritual states, pressing them to all their Duties, both of First and Second-Table, and calling them strictly to account, Whe∣ther they did not omit them. He also gave them Books sui∣table to their Capacities and Condition, which they gave a weekly account of to him or me; but too often by publick Work was he diverted, as I am apt to think, who knew not so well what was to be preferred.
His Lords-Days Work was great, for though he Preacht but once in his own Place, yet he was either desired by some of his Brethren to supply theirs on any Exigency, or would go where was no Minister; and so was forced often to leave his Family to me, to my great grief and loss: In his Repetitions in Publick, as well as Catechising, his own Family came all in their turns, to Answer in the Congregation, both Scholars and Servants.
When I have pleaded with him for more of his time with my Self and Family, he would answer me: His Ministerial Work would not permit him to be so constant as he would; for if he had Ten Bodies and Souls, he could imploy them all, in, and about Taunton: And would say, Ah my Dear, I know thy Soul is safe; But how many that are Perishing
have I to look after? O that I could do more for them!
He was a Holy, Heavenly, Tenderly-Affectionate Husband, and I know nothing I could complain of, but that he was so taken up, that I could have but very little converse with him.
His love was expressed to me, in his great care for me, Sick and Well; in his Provision for me; in his Delight in my Company; saying often, He could not bear to be from me, but when he was with God, or imployed for him; and that often it was hard for him to deny himself to be so long absent: It was irksome to him to make a Meal with∣out me, nor would he manage any Affair almost without conversing with me, concealing nothing from me, that was fit for me to know; being far from the Temper of those Husbands, who hide all their Concerns from their Wives, which he could not indure to hear of, especially in Good Men.
He was a faithful reprover of any thing he saw amiss in me, which I took as a great evidence of his real good will to my Soul; and if in any thing he gave me offence, which was but seldom, so far would he deny himself, as to acknowledge it, and desire me to pass it by, professing to me he could never rest till he had done so; and the like I was ready to do to him, as there was far more reason; by which course, if any difference did arise, it was soon over with us.
He was a very tender Master to his Servants, every way ex∣pressing it to their Souls and Bodies, giving them that incou∣ragement in their places they could desire; expecting from his whole Family that respect, and obedience to his Commands, which their Rule required; reproving them that were careless and negligent in observing them.
He was frequent in keeping solemn dayes of Humiliation, especially against a Sacrament.
He was a very strict observer of the Sabbath, the Duties of which, he did perform with such joy and alacrity of Spi∣rit, as was most pleasant to joyn with him, both in Publick, and in the Family, when we could enjoy him: And this he did much press upon Christians, to spend their Sabbaths more in 〈◊〉〈◊〉 and Thanksgivings, as dayes of holy rejoycing in our 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
All the time of his Health, he did rise constantly at, or
before four of the Clock, (and on the Sabbaths sooner, if he did wake) he would be much troubled if he heard any Smiths or Shoomakers, or such Tradesmen at work at their Trades, before he was in his Duties with God: Saying to me often, O how this Noise shames me! Doth not my Master deserve more than theirs? From four till eight, he spent in Prayer, Holy Contemplation, and singing of Psalms, which he much delighted in, and did daily practise alone, as well as in his Family: Having refreshed himself about half an hour, he would call to Family-Duties, and after that to his Studies, till eleven or twelve a Clock, cutting out his Work for every hour in the day. Having refreshed himself a while after Dinner, he used to retire to his Study to Prayer, and so A∣broad among the Families he was to visit, to whom he al∣wayes sent the day before; going out about two a Clock, and seldom returning till seven in the Evening, sometimes later: He would often say, Give me a Christian that counts his time more precious than Gold. His Work in his publick Ministry in Taunton, being to Preach but once a Sabbath, and Cate∣chise; he devoted himself much to private Work, and also Catechised once a Week in Publick besides, and repeated the Sermon he Preached on the Sabbath-Day, on Tuesday in the Evening.
He found much difficulty in going from House to House, because it had not been practised a long time by any Minister in Taunton, not by any others of his Brethren; and he be∣ing but a Young Man, to be looked upon as singular, was that which called for much Self-denyal, which the Lord ina∣bled him to Exercise: For after he had Preached up in Pub∣lick the Ministers Duty to their People, and theirs to receive them, when they came to them for their Spiritual Advantage, he set speedily upon the Work.
In this Work, his course was, to draw a Catalogue of the Names of the Families in each Street, and so to send a day or two before he intended to visit them, that they might not be absent, and that he might understand who was willing to receive him: Those that sent slight Excuses, or did obstinate∣ly refuse his Message, he would notwithstanding go to them, and if (as some would) they did shut their Doors against him, he would speak some few affectionate words to them;
or if he saw cause, denounce the Threatnings of God against them that despise his Ministers, and so departed; and after would send affectionate Letters to them, so full of love, and expressions of his great desires to do their Souls good, as did overcome their Hearts; and they did many of them afterwards readily receive him into their Houses. Herein was his Com∣passion shewed to all Sorts, both Poor and Rich, not dis∣daining to go into such Houses amongst the Poor, as were of∣ten very offensive to him to sit in, he being of an exact and curious temper: yet would he with joy and freedom, deny himself for the good of their Souls, and that he might fulfil his Ministry among those the Lord had given him the over∣sight of.
I perceiving this Work, with what he did otherwise, to be too hard for him, fearing often he would bring himself to Distem∣pers and Diseases, as he did soon after, besought him not to go so frequently: His answer would be, What have I strength for, but to spend for God? What is a Candle for, but to be burnt? And he would say, I was like Peter, still crying, O spare thy self; But I must not hearken to thee, no more than my Master did to him: Though his Labours were so abun∣dant, I never knew him, for nine years together, under the least Distemper one quarter of an hour.
He was exceeding temperate in his Dyet, though he had a very sharp Appetite, yet did he at every Meal deny himself, being perswaded that it did much conduce to his Health: His converse at his Table was very profitable, and yet plea∣sant, never rising, either at home or abroad, without drop∣ping something of God, according to the Rule he laid down to others. He was very much in commending and admi∣ring the Mercies of God in every Meal, and was still so plea∣sed with his provision for him, that he would often say; He fared deliciously every day, and lived far better than the Great 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of the World, who had their Tables far better furnished: For he enjoyed God in all, and saw his Love and Bounty in what he received at every Meal: So that he would say, O Wife! I live a voluptuous life; but blessed be God, it is upon Spiritual Dainties, such as the World know not, nor taste 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of.
He was much in minding the Poor, that were in want of
all things, often wondering that God should make such a dif∣ference between him and them, both for this World and that to come; and his Charity was ever beyond his Estate, as my self and many other Friends did conceive, but he would not be disswaded, alwayes saying, If he were Prodigal, it was for God, and not for himself, nor sin.
There were but few, if any, Poor Families, especially of the godly in Taunton, but he knew their necessities, and did by himself or Friends relieve them: So that our Homes were seldom free of such as came to make complaints to him. After the times grew dead for Trade, many of our godly men de∣caying, he would give much beyond his ability to recover them: He would buy Pease and Flitches of Bacon, and distri∣bute twice a year, in the cold and hard Seasons. He kept several Children at School at his own Cost; bought many Books and Catechisms, and had many thousands of Prayers printed, and distributed among them! And after his Brethren were turned out, he gave four pounds a year himself to a publick Stock for them, by which he excited many others to do the same, and much more, which else would never have done it: And on any other occasions as did frequently fall in, he would give even to the offence of his Friends: So that many would grudge in the Town to give him what they had agreed for; because he would give so much. Besides all this, the necessities of his own Father, and many other Rela∣tions were still calling upon him, and he was open handed to them all: So that it hath been sometimes even incredible to our selves to consider how much he did, out of a little Estate, and therefore may seem strange to others: Moreover, when he had received any more than ordinary Mercy at the Hand of GOD, his manner was, to set apart some considerable Portion out of his Estate, and dedicate it to the Lord, as a Thank-offering, to be laid out for his Glory in pious and chari∣table Uses.
When I have begged him to consider himself and me; he would answer me, He was laying up, and GOD would re∣pay him: That by liberal things he should stand, when others might fall that censured him; that if he sowed sparingly, he should reap so; if bountifully, he should reap bountifully.
And I must confess I did often see so much of GOD in his
dealings with us, according to his Promises, that I have been convinc'd and silenc'd; God having often so strangely and un∣expectedly provided for us: And notwithstanding all he had done, he had at last somewhat to dispose of to his Relations, and to his Brethren, besides comfortable provision for me.
Thus his whole Life was a continual Sermon, holding forth evidently the Doctrines he Preached; Humility, Self-denyal, Patience, Meekness, Contentation, Faith, and holy Confi∣dence 〈◊〉〈◊〉 in him, with most dear Love to God, and his Church, and People; and where he longed and panted to be, he is now shiniug in Heaven, singing Praises to God, and to the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, which Work he much delighted in, whilst here on Earth.