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O Lord Iesu Christ, my redemption, mercie and saluation, I praise thee, and giue thee thankes, albeit farre infe∣riour to thy benefits, albeit wholy voide of deuotion and feruour, albeit leane and without the desired fatnes of that most sweete affection, which thou dost require, neuerthelesse my soule doth render thee thankes such as they are, which althoughe
they are not suche as I knowe I am boūde to offer, yet they are according to my best endeuour. O hope of my harte, o strength of my soule, may it please thy omnipotent worthines to accomplishe, what my wō∣derfull greate weakenes doth attempt to performe, because thou art my life, and the scope of mine intention. And albeit I haue not hitherto deserued to loue thee soe muche as I knowe is due, yet at least I desire to loue thee, soe muche as I ought to doe.
Thou seest my conscience o my light, for that my whole desire (o Lord) is in thy sight, and whatsoeuer my conscience doth attempt to doe that is praise worthy, I ac∣knowledge that it proceedeth wholy from thee. If that (o Lord) be good which thou dost inspire, (yea it is good indeede, because it is to loue thee) graunt that I may doe that, which thou dost cause me to desire. Graunt that I may loue thee, as∣muche as thou dost require.
Beholde I offer thee praises and than∣kes-giuing, lett not this guift of thine be vnprofitable vnto me (o Lord) which thou hast begunne, and graunt me that, which thou hast caused me to desire, by preuen∣ting me with thy gratious inspiration. Transforme (most sweete Sauiour) my repiditie, into a most feruent loue of thee.
For the onely thing•• that I desire to attaine vnto (most louing Lord) by this my prayer and memorie of thy passion, is that I may be able to loue thee with a most ar∣dent affection.
Thy goodnes (o Lord) hath created me, thy mercy after my creation hath cleansed me from originall sinne, thy patience after baptisme hath hitherto sustained nourish∣ed, and expected me, being defiled with many other sinnes. Thou, o good Lord, dost expect when I will growe better: and my soule (that it may be able to doe pen∣nance and to iiue well) doth expect the in∣spiration of thy gratious fauoure.
O my God, who hast created me, who dost patientlie sustaine, and louingly main∣taine me, I hunger and thirst after thee, I desire, sighe, and couet to come to thee. And as a poore distressed childe depriued of the presence of his tender harted fa∣ther, doth with sighes & sobbes incessant∣lye embrace in his harte the image and semblance of his fauoure: soe fareth it with me, as often as I call to minde thy bitter Passion (which albeit it be not as much as I ought, yet it is as muche as I am able (when I call to minde likewise the buffetts and whipps by thee sustained, the greiuous woundes by thee endured, whē I remember in what cruell manner thou
hast been crucified, and killed, in what manner thou hast (by thy deare freindes) beene embaulmed and buried; as often likewise as thy glorious Resurrection, and and admirable Ascension, doe occure to mine imagination.
All these thinges I beleiue most firme∣ly, lamenting with teares, the calamities of my exile in this vale of miserie: my onely hope is the comforte of thy com∣minge, my cheife desire is to beholde thee face to face in thy heauenly habitation. I cannot but greiue, for that I haue not scene the Lord of Angells, debasing him∣selfe to conuerse and liue amongst men, that by that meanes he might exalt men to Angelicall conuersation, when God did die who was offended, that man might liue, who had offended: I cannot but gre∣iue, for that I haue not deserued to be pre∣sent, and to be astonished through admi∣ration of a worke of soe wonderfull and vnspeakeable compassion.
Howe is it, o my soule. that the sworde of most sharpe sorrowe doth not peirce thee to the harte, seing thou could'st not be present to see the side of thy Sauiour wounded with a speare, seing thou couldst not be present to see the feete and handes of thy maker to be fastned with nayles, nor the blood of thy redeemer to be spilt
on the grounde in that dreadefull man∣ner? Why art thou not drunke with the bitternes of teares, seeing he was made to drinke of the bitternes of gall? Why dost thou not take compassion of the most chaste Virgin Marie, his most worthy mother, and thy most wor∣thy Ladie?
O my most merciful Lady, what fountai∣nes of teares may I affirme to haue flow∣ed from thy most chast eies, when thou beheldst thy onely sonne (albeit free from all offence) to be bounde, whipt, and slaine in thy presence? In what mourne∣full manner may I imagin thy dolefull countenance at that time to be blubbered all ouer with weeping, when thou be∣heldst this thy innocent sonne, thy God and thy Lord to be stretched out vppon the crosse, and that sacred fleshe framed of thy fleshe, to be by those bloodie bou∣che••s soe cruellie rent in peices. With what vnspeakeable greife may I well thinke thy poore harte at that time to be tormented, when thou didst heare those wordes pronounced: Woman behold thy sonne; And the disciple: Beholde thy mo∣ther? When thou didst accept the disciple insteed of his maister, and the seruant in lieue of his Lord?
O that I had beene worthy with S.
Ioseph to haue taken my Lord downe from the Crosse, to haue embaulmed and buried him, to haue followed or accom∣panied him to his sepulcher, that I might haue dōne some little seruice at soe greate a funeral. O that I had with the three bles∣sed Maries, been striken into amazednes through the bright vision of the Angells, and had heard newes of our Lords Resur∣rection▪ newes of my consolation, newes soe muche expected, and desired. O that I had hearde (I say) from the mouthe of the Angell: doe you not feare, you seeke Iesus, that was crucified, he is not heere.
O most courteous, most sweete, and most gratious Iesu, when wilt thou cure me of my sorrowe and pensiuenes, for that I haue not seene the incorruption of of thy blessed fleshe? For that I haue not kissed the places where thou wert woun∣ded, the places which the na••les had pei••∣ced? For that I haue not bedewed with teares of ioy, the scarrs of thy true bodie? O admirable, inestimable and incompara∣ble Lord and Sauiour, when wilt thou comforte and cure me of the greife which I endure? Because my sorrowe will neuer cease to afflict me, as lōg as I liuet o Lord) seperated from thee.
Take pittie of me, o Lord, take pittie of my soule Thou hast departed, o Lord,
without bidding me farewell. Beginninge to mounte vp into heauen, thou hast bles∣sed thy freindes there assembled, and I was not present to see it. Lifting vp thy handes, thou hast beene receiued by a cloude into heauen, and I was not present to beholde it. The Angells haue promised that thou wouldest returne, and I did not heare it.
What shall I say? What shall I doe? Whither shall I goe? Where shall I seeke him▪ and when shall I finde him? Of whom shall I aske for him? Who will tell my beloued, how muche I loue him? The de∣light of my harte is changed into desola∣tion, my laughter in lamētation. My fleshe and my harte, haue failed me, o God of my harte, and mine inheritance euer∣lastinglie. My soule hath refused all other comforte and consolation (o God my sweete delight) sauing that which pro∣ceedeth from thee alone. For what haue I in heauen, or what doe I desire vpon earth sauing thee alone? I couet after thee, my trust is in thee, I seeke after thee. My hart hath saied to thee: I haue sought thy face, thy face (o Lord) will I seeke, turne not a way thy face from me.
O most gratious louer of men, thou art the protector of the poore, thou art a fri∣ende to suche as are depriued of father
and mother. O most assured Aduocate, take pittie of me a poore distressed or∣phant, I am as a poore fatherlesse childe, and my soule is as a woman bereaued of her husbande. Vouchsafe gratiouslie to behold the teares of my distressed orphan∣cie and widowhoode, which I offer vnto thee, vntill thou returne, o my God.
May it please thee therfore, may it please thee, o Lord, to manifest thy selfe to me, and I shall be comforted. Graunt that I may see thee, and I shall obtaine what I desire. Make manifest thy glorie, and my ioy wilbe accomplished. My soule hath thirsted after thee, soe hath likewise my fleshe exceedingly. My soule hath thir∣sted after God the liuinge fountaine, when shall I come, and be presented before the face of my Lord? When wilt thou come o my comforter, for whome I will wishe, and earnestly waite for?
O that I might once behold my delight which I doe soe muche desire! O howe truly shall I be satisfied, when thy glorie shall appeare, which I doe greatlie hunger to beholde? When shall I become drunke through the plentie of thy heauenlie ha∣bitation, for which I sighe soe often? When wilt thou make me to drinke of the riuer of thy pleasure, which I soe gre∣••tely thirst and desire? In the interim o
Lord, let my teares be my continual foode, vntill it be saied vnto me: Beholde thy God; vntill it be saied vnto my soule: Be∣holde thy bridegroome. In the interim▪ feede me with my sobbs and weepinges, nourishe me with my sorrowes and la∣mentations. Peraduenture my redeemer will come and visit me, because he is full of mercie: yea, he will not be long in comminge, because he is full of pittie: To him be glorie during all eternitie▪ Amen.