Ortho-epia Gallica Eliots fruits for the French: enterlaced vvith a double nevv inuention, vvhich teacheth to speake truely, speedily and volubly the French-tongue. Pend for the practise, pleasure, and profit of all English gentlemen, who will endeuour by their owne paine, studie, and dilligence, to attaine the naturall accent, the true pronounciation, the swift and glib grace of this noble, famous, and courtly language.

The Painter. Chap. 5.

GOd blesse you Painter.

Welcome my fine laddes.

What portraictûre is that thou paintest there? Of Esope the sage.

O vvhat lips and no sethrils of an Ape he hath!

He is eared like an Asse.

What say you of this figure?

I say that if it be Venus, she hath not her face vvell painted. It is an Italian Harlekin.

He is beleeue me, verie vvell counterfeited for a foole.

He is not verie vvell shadowed for a wise man.

What vvanteth there?

He is crump-shouldered and crooked, and hath a Hawkes∣nose.

The Persians adored those who had an Aquiline nose, for Cyrus sake, who they say, had his of forme like a shooing-horne.

He hath his hands very crooked and limy fingerd, For all that he is not a theefe.

What can he do?

He can hold his peace and keepe his owne counsell.

He is then wiser then many fooles.

Wherfore hath this dwarfe his face so red and fierie?

The shame and horror seaseth him of the villanies, wickednesse and abhominations committed by the world, or rather to see the blind iudge of colours.

Be gone hence, for you will buy nothing, I see well, packe, packe: Gods Lord! what merchants!

But we will buy so that thou will let vs make the price at our plea∣sure.

There is a faire bargaine. Tis a long while that I am troubled with you.

Be gone hence I pray you.

We do no harme, What image is that?

Tis the image of the Virgine MARIE.

Set me downe this Table.

Is not this our Lord IESVS CHRIST?

Who is portraited and pictured so liuely here?

Tis the Romane T. Caesar of famous memorie.

The image of an exceeding passing workemanship.

We find written, that Tyberius Caesar had the ioynts of his fingers so strong, that with one finger he did pierce through a greene Apple.

So also can I.

I through a rotten Apple then.

He hath the table of his hand verie large.

Hast thou learned Chiromancie?

I haue heard it spoken of. What then?

Thou shouldest haue diuined here some thing

by the lines of his hands.

I am verie ignorant of such abuse.

See you this Mappe of the world? I see it well.

Whats this a Sea? I see but a litle water, which is not greater then the Thames.

I maruell the French King doth not make a fine bridge to passe from one country to another.

The Sea betweene France and England is it no broader then that? By my faith I will then easily shoote an arrow from Douer Castle to the white sandes of Cales.

See here the huge Ocean Sea.

Is that the Ocean Sea? That, Is this the earth?

They say that sir Francis Drake, maister Candish, and Magellanes, haue bene almost three yeares in compassing the earth and the Sea.

By my troth to win a good pinte of claret wine, in lesse then a daies iourny, in a faire afternoone, I will go round about them on foote without Horse, Asse, Mule, Ship-boat or Brygandine.

Thy feuers quartanes thou wilt not.

Looke here Cullion! See Asia. Here are Tygris and Euphrates. See here Quinzay, a Citie so fa∣mous amongst the Azians: and hath xij. thousand stonebridges, vnder which the ships passe with full saile, & neuer pull downe their masts.

See Affrick! Here is the mountayn of the Moone!

Seest thou the Fennes of Nyle? Lo here the red Sea.

Looke vpon the great Caire! On this side is Europe.

This top here all white, are the Hyperborean mountains. Here are the Alpes, ouer which we go downe into Italie. There are the Appenines: and here are the Pyrenaean hilles, by which you may go directly into Spaine.

See here where is the Citie of London. See Powles steeple, You do naught but soile and fowle my marchandize, and vvill buy nothing I see well.

Shew me some fine pretie Tablet to hang in my counting-house.

There is one vvhich is a fine peece of vvorke, painted and drawne out of the worke, long since wrought by Ph••lomela, setting foorth and shewing her sister Progne, how her brother in law Tereus had defloured her, and cut out her tongue, to the end that she should not tell.

Tis a most gallant and woonderfull sumptuous peece.

This likes me not, shew me another.

See here liuely painted the Id••es of Plato.

See here the Atomes of Epicurus.

See there Eccho after her nature represented.

Behold there the life and gests of Achilles in seuentie and eight peeces of Tapistrie with broad lists, long full foure, broad three fathoms, all of Phrygian silke, embrodered with gold and siluer.

Where is the beginning?

The Tapistrie beginneth at the mariage of Peleus and Thetis, going on with the natiuitie of Achilles, his youth written by Stacius Papinius, his gests and feats of armes celebrated by Homer: his death and buriall pend by Ouid, and Quint Calabrian, ending in the apparition of his shadow, and the sacrifice of Polixena written by Euripides.

How much? vvhat is the price I pray you?

Ten thousand crownes.

Tis too deare for me that.

Whats this?

Tis the shape of a man that lacks a maister.

He hath his face liuely painted.

He is drawne truly iust in all qualities, fit in all gesture, behauiour, lookes, gate, phisiognomie and affections.

How much shall I giue you for this same Table?

Foure Crownes.

Hold, you shall haue no more nor lesse: I will pay you in lack-an-apes pence, or in faire crownes of the Palace.

Away, away, march I say downe, you mocke me, I see well inough.

Haue you not prated and tatled inough yet? away from hence I say.

Adieu, adieu, Painter adieu.