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¶How Apuleius was solde to twoo brethern, whereof one was a Baker, and the other a Cooke, and how finely and deintily he fared.
THe Souldiour which paid neuer a penny for me, by the cōmaundement of his Capitaine, was sent vnto Rome to carry letters to the great Prince, & generall of the Campe, & before he went he sold me for eleuen pence, to twoo of his cōpaignions, being seruāts to a man of woorship, wherof one was a Baker y• baked
swéete bread & delicates: the other a Cooke, whiche dres∣sed fine and excellent meates for his maister, these two liued in common, & would driue me from place to place to carry suche thinges as was necessarie, in so muche that I was receaued by these twoo, as a thirde brother and compaignion, and I thought I was neuer better placed then with them: For when night came y• supper was done & their busines ended, they would bring ma∣ny good morsels into their chamber for thē selues: One wold bring pigges, chickins, fish, & other good meates, the other fine bread, pasties, tartes, custardes, & other delicate ionckettes dipped in honie. And when thei had shutte their chamber doore and went to the baynes: (O Lorde) how I woulde fill my guttes with those goodly dishes: Neither was I so muche a foole, or so very an Asse, to leaue the deintie meates & grinde my téeth vpō harde hey. In this sort I continued a great space, for I plaied the honest Asse, takinge but a litle of one dishe, and a litle of an other, whereby no man mistrusted me. In the ende I was more hardier & beganne to deuoure the whole messes, of the swéetest delicates, which cau∣sed the Baker & the Cooke to suspect, how be it they ne∣uer mistrusted me, but searched about to apprehēde the théefe: At length they began to accuse one an other of thefte, & to sette the dishes & morsels of meate in order, one by an other, because they would learne what was takē away, wherby one of thē was cōpelled to say thus to his fellow: is it reason to breake promise and faith in this sorte, by stealinge away the beste meate, and to sell it to augment thy good, and yet neuerthelesse to haue thy parte of the residew that is lefte, if our part∣nershippe doo mislike thée, we wilbe parteners and bro∣thers in other thinges, but in this we will breake of:
for I perceaue that the great losse which I sustaine wil at length be a cause of great discorde betwéene vs: Thē answeared the other, verely I prayse thy great constā∣cie and subtilnes, in that (when thou hast secretely takē away the meate) doest beginne to cōplayne first, wher∣as I by longe space of time haue suffred thée, because I woulde not séeme to accuse my brother of thefte, but I am right gladde in that we are fallen into commnnica∣tion of this matter, least by our silence like contention might arise betwéene vs, as fortuned betwéene Ethe∣••••les and his brother, when thei had reasoned together in this sort: they swoore both earnestly that neyther of them stale or toke away any iote of the meate, where∣fore they concluded to searche out the théefe by al kinde of meanes. For they coulde not imagine or thinke that the Asse, who stoode alone there woulde eate any suche meates, neither coulde they thinke that myce or slies, were so rauenous as to deuoure whole dishes of meate, like the byrdes Harpies which carried away y• meates of Phineus kinge of Archadia. In the meane season while I was fedde with deintie morselles I gathered together my flesh, my skinne waxed softe, my heare be∣ganne to shine, and I was gallant on euery parte, but suche fayre and comely shape of my bodie was cause of my dishonour, for the Baker and the Cooke merueled to sée me so slike and fine, considering I did eate no hay at all: Wherefore on a time at their accustomed houre they wente to the baynes & locked their chamber doore. It fortuned that eare they departed away, they espied me thorough a hole how I fel roundly to my victuales: Then they merueled greatly, and litle estéeminge the losse of their meate laughed excéedingly, callinge y• ser∣uauntes of the house, to showe them the gréedy gorge
and appetite of the Asse. Their laughinge was so im∣moderate, that the maister of the house harde them, & demaūded the cause of their laughter, and when he vn∣derstoode all the matter, he looked thorough y• hole like∣wise, wherwith he toke such a delectation that he com∣maūded the doore to be opened, that he might sée him at his pleasure. Then I beholding euery man laugh, was nothing abashed, but rather more bold, whereby I ne∣uer rested eating, til such time as the master of y• house commaunded me to be brought into his parler as a no∣ueltie, & theere caused al kindes of meates, which were neuer touched to be set on the table, which (although I had eaten sufficiently before, yet to winne the further fauour of the maister of the house) I did gréedely de∣uoure, & made a cleane riddance of the delicate meates. And to proue my nature wholy, they gaue me suche meate as euery Asse doth greatly abhorre: for they put before me biefe and vinegre, bi••des and pepper, fishe & vergisse, in the meane season, thei that beheld me at the table did nothing but laugh: Then one of the seruaūts of the house said to his maister, I pray you sir giue him some drinke to his supper: Mary ({quod} he) I thinke thou sayest true: For so it may be that to his meate, he wold drinke likewise a cuppe of wine. No boy, washe yon∣der potte, and fill it with wine, whiche done carrie it to the Asse, and say that I haue dronke to him. Then all the standers by looked on, to sée what woulde come to passe, but I (assone as I behelde the cuppe) stayed not long, but gathering my lippes together, supped vp all the wine at one draught: The maister being right ioy∣full hereat, caused the Baker and the Cooke, which had bought me to come before him, to whome he deliuered fower times as much for me as they paide, which done
he committed me to one of his riche libertines, and charged him to looke wel to me, and that I should lacke nothinge, who obayed his maisters commaūdement in euery pointe: And to the ende he would crepe further into his fauour, he taught me a thousande qualities. First he instructed me to sitte at y• table vpon my taile, and how I should leape & daunce holding vp my former féete, moreouer he taught me how I should answeare whē any body spake vnto me, with nodding my head, which was a straūge & meruelous thing, & if I did lacke drinke, I should looke still vpon the potte. All whiche thinges I did willingly bring to passe, & obeyed his do∣ctrine: howbeit I could haue done al these things with∣out his teaching, but I feared greatly least in showing my selfe conning without a master, I shoulde portende some great and straunge wonder, & therby be throwen out to wilde beastes. But my fame was spredde about in euery place, and the qualities which I could doo, in so much y• my master was renoumed thorough out all the countrie by reason of me. For euery man woulde say: Beholde the gentleman that hath an Asse, that will eate and drinke with him, that will daunce, and vn∣derstādinge what is said to him, will show his fantasie by signes. But first I will tel you (which I should haue done before) who my maister was, and of what coūtry, his name was Thiasus, he was borne at Corinth, which is the principal towne of al Achaia, he had passed many offices of honour, till he had taken vppon him the degrée Quinquenuall, accordinge as his birth and dignitie required, who to showe his woorthines, and to purchase the beneuolence of euery person, apoynted publique ioyes and triumphes, to endure the space of thrée dayes, and to bringe his endeuor to passe, he came