The familiar epistles of M.T. Cicero Englished and conferred with the: French Italian and other translations

Cic••ro to Marcus Marius. Epist. 3.

WHEN I consider, (as many times I doe) on the common miseries, wherein for so mani•• yeares w••e haue liued; and for any thing I see, are like st••ll ••o liue; I call to minde that t••me, when w•• were last together. Nay, I remember the day it selfe: For on the xiii. of May, in the yeere, when L••an••u∣lus and Marcellus were Consuls; I comming in the euening into Pompeia∣num, you came presently vnto me, with a minde much troubled; A••d the griefe did arise partly from thinking on my office; and in part also for my danger. If I remained in Italie, you doubted least I should faile in my office: and if I went to the ciuill war; you feared I should runne in••o some imminent perill. At which time you

might perceiue me also, ••o disturb'd, and depriued of all counsell, that I knew not how to elect the best. Ne∣uerthelesse, I chose rather to yeelde to the feare of infamie, then to respect mine owne safetie. Which afterwards I grieued at; not so much for feare of d••nger, as for ••he many defects I found there, whither I was gone. First, the Armie was but little and weake: then, except the Captaine, and some few o∣thers, (I speake o•• the chiefest) the rest were in the warre it selfe so rauenous, and in wo••ds so cont••melious, that the victorie it selfe astonish••t mee. I may further adde, that the honourablest Cittizens, of our parts, were much charged with debt, What should I say more? The••e was nothing else good; but the occasion of the enter∣prise. Which hauing obs••rued, I di∣spairing of victorie, first began to counsell •• peace, as alwaies my custome was. Then Pompeius being ve••y farre from this opinion, I began to a••••••••e him, to draw the warre out at length. Whereunto sometimes hee consent••d, and said he would doe it; and wo••ld peraduenture haue so done, if after a certaine encounter, he had not growen too confident in the force of his soul∣diers: neither afterwards, did that man, so highly euer esteemed, any thing beseeming a good Captaine.

With a new Armie, raised in diuerse places, hee ioyned battaile, with tough and lustie souldiers. Whereupon re∣maining vanquished, and hauing lost, euen his lodging Tents, alone re∣proachfully, hee betooke himselfe to flight. And this was my end of the warre: it appearing vnlikely to mee, that being so broken, wee could rest victors, in ••hat wee were not equall, when we were most entire. I departed from that warre, wherein it was neces∣sarie, either by fighting to die; or to light vpon some trecheries; or fall into the hands of the vanquisher; or haue recourse to King Iuba; or to bee retir'd into voluntarie banishment; or else make choice to kill my selfe. Certaine∣ly nothing else could thereon ensue; being neither willing, nor daring, to put thy selfe into the Conquerours hands. But of all the foresaid discom∣modities, there was none more tolle∣rable then exile; especiallie to him that is innocent; when no further infamie concurr'd therein: and when you are depriu'd of that Cittie, where you can behold nothing without griefe. I made choice to liue amongst my friends, (if one may say, that any man hath now right in any thing) & yet I was pleas'd, to be with my friends. I prognostica∣ted what did afterwards ensue. I came home, not with hope to remaine there

very contented; but so there were any forme of a Common-wealth, to be re∣sident as it were in my countrie: if there were not; to liue as it were in banish∣ment. Me thought I had no occasion, to offer my selfe death; yet many, to desire it. For we commonl•• say, that a man should no longer esteeme his life, when hee is no more the same man h••e was. But notwithstanding to be guilt∣lesse, is a great ••x••••nuation of afflicti∣on: ••speci••lly hauing two things for my sustentation, the knowledge of the most commend••d arts; and the glorie atchiued by my worth; t••e one of which cannot be taken away from mee in life; nor the o••her after death. I haue beene trouble••ome to you, with this so tedious a discourse; b••t knowing you to be most louing to me, and the Com∣monwealth, I meant absolutely to lay open my minde vnto you: first, to shew you, how I neuer would condiscend, that the power of one Cittizen should be greater•• then of the whole Com∣monweal••h. But after that through some mans fault the forces of one par∣ticular man so encreased, that there was no meanes to resist him, I affected peace: and the Armie being lost, and that Captaine in whom our hopes did liue; my desi••e was, that all the rest, should haue giuen ouer the warre; but not obtaining this my selfe alone le••t it:

and now if this be a Citie, I make ac∣count to be a cittizen; if it bee not, I suppose my selfe to bee an exile, in a place, where I remaine in no worse condition, then if I were in Rhodes, or Mitylene. I desir'd rather to haue dis∣coursed of these things with you face to face; but because I saw, I should not so soone finde opportunitie, I thought good now to write them: to the end that if you chance to bee in any place, where any speake sinisterly of me, you may know how to defend me. For there are some, who, though my death would no waies aduantage the Common∣wealth; yet they thinke it a great sinne, that I doe liue. And these men, I am certaine, thinke the number of them that were slaine in this warre, to be ve¦ry small: who if they had followed my aduise, though with vniust peace, yet with honour, they might haue liued. For they should haue beene inferior in armes onely, but not in equitie. Heere is a longer Epistle then peraduenture you d••sired; and I ••••all beleeue you take it so, except you write me another longer. If I can dispatch some busi∣nesses of mine owne, I hope shortly I shall see you. Farewell.