Al fooles a comedy, presented at the Black Fryers, and lately before his Maiestie. Written by George Chapman.

ACTVS 4. (Book 4)

SCENA 1. (Book 4)

Marc-Ant: Gostanz••.

Marc-Ant.

You see how too much wisdome 〈◊〉〈◊〉, Out-shootes the truth: you were so forwards still, To taxe my ignorance, my greene experience In these gray haires, for giuing such ad••ntage, To my sonnes spirit, that he durst vndertake A secret match, so farre short of his woorth: Your sonne so seasoned with obedience, Euen from his youth, that all his actions relish Nothing but dutie, and your angers feare, What shall I say to you, if it fall out That this most precious sonne of yours, has plaide A part as bad as this, and as rebellious: Nay more has grosely guld your witt withall. What if my sonne has vndergone the blame That appertain'd to yours? and that this wench With which my sonne is charg'd, may call you father: Shall I then say you want experience? Y'ar•• greene, y'ar•• credulous; easie to be blinded.

Gost.

Ha, ha, ha, good Marc-Antonio, When't comes to that; laugh at me, call me foole, proclai•• me so, Let all the world take knowledge I am an Asse.

Marc.

O the good God of Gods, How blinde is Pride? what Eagles we are still, In matters that belong to other men? What Beetles in our owne? I tell you Knight, It is consest to be as I haue tould you;

And Gratiana, is by young Rinaldo, And your white sonne, brought to me as his wife: How thinke you now Sir?

Gost.

Euen iust as before, And haue more cause to thinke honest Credulity, Is a true Loadstone to draw on Decrepity: You haue a hart to open to imbrace, All that your eare receiues: alas good man, All this is but a plot for entertainment Within your house, for your poore sonnes yong wife My house without huge danger cannot holde:

Mar.

Ist possible, what danger Sir I pray?

Gost.

〈◊〉〈◊〉 tell you Sir, twas time to take her thence: My sonne that last day you saw could not frame, His lookes to entertaine her, now bir-lady Is grone a Courtier: for my selfe vnseene, Saw when he courted her, imbrac't and kist her, And I can tell you left not much vndone, That was the proper office of your sonne.

Mar.

What world is this?

Gost,

I tolde this to Rinaldo, Aduising him to fetch her from my house, And his yong wit not knowing where to lodge her Vnlesse with you: and saw that could not be, Without some wyle: I presently suggested This queint deuise, to say she was my sonnes: And all this plot, good Marc-Antonio, Flow'd from this fount, onely to blinde our eyes.

Mar.

Out of how sweete a dreame haue you awak't me? By heauen, I durst haue laid my part in heauen All had bin true; it was so liuely handled, And drawne with such a seeming face of trueth: Your sonne had cast a perfect vaile of grie•• Ouer his face, for his so rash offence, To seale his loue with act of marriage, Before his father had subscrib'd his choyce: My sonne (my circumstance lessening the fact) Intreating me to breake the matter to you,

And ioyning my effectuall perswasions, With yoursonnes penitent submission, Appease your ••ury; I at first assented, And now expect their comming to that purpose.

Gost.

T'was well▪ t'was well, see me to beleeue it still, Let Art end what Credulitie began, When they come, suire your words and lookes to theirs, Second my sad Sonnes fain'd submission, And see in all points how my braine will answere, His disguisde grie••▪ with a set countenance Ofrage and choller; now obserue and learne To schoole your sonne by me.

Intrant Rynaldo Val: Grat:

Mar.

On with your maske; here come the other ma••kers sir,

Rinal.

Come on I say, Your Father with submission wilbe calm'd; come on; downe a your knees:

Gost.

Villaine durst thou Presume to gull thy Father? doost thou not Tremble to see my bent and cloudy browes Ready to thunder on thy gracelesse head, And with the bolt of my displeasure cut The thred of all my liuing from thy life, For taking thus a beggar to thy wife?

Val.

Father, if that part I haue in your blood, If teares, which so aboundantly distill Out of my inward eyes: and for a neede, Can drowne these outward (lend me thy hand-kercher) And being indeed as many drops of blood, Issuing from the Creator of my hart, Be able to beget so much compassion, Not on my life, but on this louely Dam••▪ Whom I hold dearer?

Gost.

Out vpon thee villaine.

Marc.

Nay good Gostanzo, thinke you are a Father.

Gost.

I will not heare a word; out, out vpon thee: Wed without my aduise, my loue, my knowledge, I, and a begger too, a trull, a blowse?

Rinal.

You thought not so last day, when you offerd he•• A twelue months boord for one nights lodging with her.

Gost.

Goe too, no more of that, peace good Rinaldo, It is a fault that onely she and you know.

Rein.

Well sir, go on I pray.

Gost.

Haue I fond wretch, With vtmost care and labour brought thee vp, Euer instructing thee, omitting neuer The office of a kinde and carefull Father, To make thee wise and vertuous like thy father: And hast thou in one acte euerted all? Proclaim'd thy selfe to all the world a foole? To wedde a begger?

Val.

Father, say not so, Nay shees thy owne, here, rise foole, take her to thee, Liue with her still, I know thou countst thy selfe Happy in soule, onely in winning her: Be happy still, heere, take her hand enioy her, Would not a sonne hazard his Fathers wrath, His reputation in the world? his birth-right, To haue but such a messe of broth as this?

Marc.

Be not so violent, I pray you good Gostanzo, Take truce with passion, licence your sad sonne, To speake in his excuse.

Gost.

What? what excuse? Can any orator in this case excuse him? What can he say? what can be said of any?

Val.

Ahlas sir, heare me, all that I can say In my excuse, is but to shew loues warrant.

Gost.

Notable wagge.

Val.

I know I haue committed A great impiety, not to mooue you first Before the dame, I meant to make my wi•• Consider what I am, yet young, and greene, Beholde what she is, is there not in her I, m her very eye, a power to conquer, Euen age it selfe and wisdome, call to minde Sweete Father, what your selfe being young haue bin, Thinke what you may be, for I doe not thinke The world so farre spent with you, but you may

Looke back on such a beauty, and I hope To see you young againe▪ and to liue long With young affections, wisdome makes a man Liue young for euer: and where is this wisdome If not in you? ahlas I know not what Rests in your wisedome to subdue affections, But I protest it wrought with me so strongly, That I had quite bin drownd in seas of teares Had I not taken hold in happy time Of this sweete hand, my hart had beene consum'de T'a heape of Ashes with the flames of loue, Had it not sweetly bin asswag'd and cool'd, With the moist kisses of these sugred lippes.

Gost.

O puisant wag, what huge large thongs he cuts Out of his friend Fortunios stretching leather.

Marc.

He knows he does it but to blinde my eyes.

Gost.

O excellent, these men will put vp any thing.

Ual.

Had I not had her, I had lost my life, Which life indeed I would haue lost before, I had displeasd you, had I not receau'd it From such a kinde, a wise, and honour'd Father.

Gost.

Notable Boy.

Val.

Yet doe I here renounce Loue, life and all, rather then one houre longer Indure to haue your loue eclipsed from me.

Gra.

O I can hold no longer, if thy words Be vs'd in earnest my Valerio, Thou woundst my hart, but I know tist in lest.

Gost.

No ile be sworne she has her lyripoope too.

Grat.

Didst thou not sweare to loue me, spight of Father, & all the world That nought should seuer vs but death it selfe.

Ual.

I did, but if my father Will haue his sonne foresworne, vpon his soule, The blood of my black periurie shall lye, For I will seeke his fauour though I dye.

Gost.

No, no, liue still my sonne, thou well shalt know, I haue a fathers hart, come ioyne your hands, Still keepe thy vowes, and liue together still▪

Till cruell death set foote betwixt you both.

Val.

O speake you this in earnest?

Gost.

I by heauen.

Val.

And neuer to recall it?

Gost.

Not till death.

Rinal.

Excellent sir, you haue done like your selfe: What would you more Valerio?

Ual.

Worshipfull Father.

Rinal.

Come sir, come you in, and celebrate your ioyes.

Exeunt all saue the old men.

Gost.

O Marc-Antonio, Had I not armd you with an expectation, Would not this make you pawne your very soule, The wench had bin my sonnes wife?

Marc.

Yes by heauen: A knauerie thus effected might deceiue A wiser man then I, for I ah las, Am noe good polititian, plaine beleeuing Simple honesty, is my policy still.

Gost,

The visible matkes of folly, honesty, and quick Credu∣litie his yonger brother. I tell you Marc-Antonio there is mutch In that young boy my Sonne.

Marc.

Not much honesty, if I may speake without offence to his father.

Gost.

O God you cannot please me better sir, H'as honesty enough to serue his turne, The lesse honesty euer the more wit, But goe you home, and vse your daughter kindly, Meane time Ile school•• your sonne: and do you still Dissemble what you know, keepe off your sonne, The wench at home must still be my sonnes wife, Remember that, and be you blinded still.

Marc.

You must remember too, to let your sonne Vse his accustom'd visitations, Onely to blinde my eyes.

Gost.

He shall not faile: But still take you heede, haue a vigilant eye, On that sl•• childe of mine, for by this light, Heele be too bould with your sonnes forhead els.

Marc.

Well sir let me alone, Ile beare a braine.

Exeunt.

Enter Ualerio, Rynaldo.

Val.

Come they are gone.

Ryn.

Gone, they were farre gone heere.

Val.

Guld I my father, or guld he himselfe? Thou toldst him Gratiana was my wife, I haue confest it, he has pardoned it.

Ryn.

Nothing more true, enow can witnesse it. And therefore when he comes to learne the truth, (As certainly for all these slie disguises, Time will strip Truth into her nakednesse) Thou hast good plea against him to confesse, The honor'd Action, and to claime his pardon.

Val.

Tis true, for all was done he deeply swore Out of his hart.

Ryn.

He has much faith the whiles, That swore a thing, so quite against his hart:

Val.

Why this is pollicie.

Ryn.

Well see you repaire, To Gratiana daily, and enioy her In her true kinde; and now we must expect The resolute, and ridiculous diuorce, Cornelio hath sued against his wedlock.

Val.

I thinke it be not so; the Asse dotes on her.

Ryn.

It is too true, and thou shalt answere it, For setting such debate twixt man and wife: See, we shall see the solemne maner of it.

Enter Cor: Darioto. Claud. Notarie, Page, Gazetta. Bell: Gratiana.

Bell.

Good Signior Cornelio let vs poore Gentlewomen intreate you to forbeare.

Cor.

Talke no more to me, Ile not be made Cuckold in my owne house: Notarie read me the diuorce.

Gazet.

My deare Cornelio, examine the cause better before you condemne me.

Cor.

Sing to me no more Syren, for I will heare thee no more, I will take no compassion on thee.

Page.

Good Signior Cornelio be not too mankinde against

your wife, say y'are a cuckold (as the best that is may be so at 〈◊〉〈◊〉 time) will you make a trumpet of your owne hornes?

Cor.

Goe too sir, y'are a rascall, ••e giue you a fee for plea∣ding for her one day, Notary doe you your office.

Val.

Goe too Sighior looke better to your wife, and be bet∣ter aduised, before you grow to this ex••remitie.

Cor.

Extremity? go too, I deale but too mercifully with her, If I should vse extremi••e with her I might hang her, and her copesmate my drud••e here, how say you M. Notary, might I not doe it by law?

Not.

Not hang am, but you may bring them both to a white sheete.

Cor.

Nay by the masse they haue had too much of the sheete already.

Not.

And besides you may set capitall letters on their fore∣heads.

Cor.

W••'s that to the capitall letter thats written in minde, I say for all your law, maister Notary that I may hang am, may I not hang him that robs me of mine honour, as well as he that robs me of my horse?

Not.

No sir your horse is a chattell.

Cor.

Soe is honour, a man may buy it with his peny, and if I may hang a man for stealing my horse (as I say) much more for robbing mee of my honour; for why? if my ho••se be stolne, it may bee my owne fault; for why? eyther the stable is not st••ong enough, or the pasture not well fenc't, or watcht, or so foorth: But for your wife that keepes the sta∣ble of your honour: Let her be lo•• in a brazen towre, let Ar∣gus himselfe keepe her, yet can you neuer bee secure of your honour, for why? she can runne through all with her serpent nodle: besides you may hang a locke vpon your horse, and so can you not vpon your wife.

Rin.

But I pray you Sir what are the presumptions on which you would build this diuorce?

Cornelio.

Presumption enough Sir, for besides their entercourse, or commerce of glances that past betwixt this cockrill-drone, and her, at my table the last Sunday night at supper, their winckes, their beckes, due gard,

their treads a'the toe (as by heauen I sweare she trode once vp∣on my toe instead of his) This is chiefly to be no••ed, the same night she would needs lie alone; and the same night her dog bark••, did not you heare him Ualerio?

Ual.

And vnderstand him too, Ile be sworne of a booke.

Cor••lio.

Why very good, if these be not mani•• pre∣sumptions now, let the wo••ld be iudge: Therefore without mo••e ceremony, Mais••er Notarie plucke out your Instru∣ment.

Notary.

I will sir, if there be no remedie.

Corn.

Haue you made it strong in law Maister Notary? haue you put in wor••s enough?

Notary.

I hope ••o sir, it has taken me a whole skinne of Parchment you see.

Corn••lio.

Very good, and is Egresse and Regresse in?

Nota.

Ile warrant you sir, it is form•• Iuris.

Corn.

Is there no hoale to be found in the Ortography••

Not••.

None in the world sir.

Corn.

You haue written Sunt with an S haue you not?

Nota.

Yes that I haue.

Corn.

You haue done the better for quietnesse sake: and are none of the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 dashes ouer the head left out? if there be Maister Notary an error will lye out.

Nota.

Not for a dashe ouer head sir I warrant you, if I should ouersee; I haue s••ne that tryed in Butiro & Cas••o, in Butler and Casons case, Decimo sexto of Duke Ano∣nimo.

Rinal.

Y'aue gotten a learned Notarie Signior Cornelio.

Corn.

Hees a shroad fellow indeed, I had as leeue haue his head in a matter of fellony, or Treason, as any Notary in Flo∣rence, read out Maister Notary, harken you mistresse, Gentle∣men marke I beseech you.

Omnes.

We will all marke you sir, I warrant you.

Nota.

I thinke it would be something tedious to read all, and therfore Gentlemen the summe is this: That you Signior Corn••lio Gentleman, for diuers & sundry waighty and mature considerations, you especially mouing, specifying all the parti∣culars of your wiues enormities in a scedule here unto annexed,

the transcript whereof is in your owne tenure, cu••odie, occu∣pation, & keeping: That for these the aforesaid premises, I say, you renounce, disclaime and discharge Gazetta frō being your leeful, or your lawfull wife: And that you eftsoones deuide, dis∣ioyne, seperate, remoue, & finally eloigne, sequester, & diuorce her, frō your bed & your boord; That you forbid her all accesse, repaire, egresse or regresse to your person, or persons, mansion or mansions, dwellings, habitations, remainenances or abodes, or to any shop, sellar, Sollar, easements chamber, dormer, and so forth, now in the ••nure, custody, occupation or keeping of the said Cornelio; notwithstanding all former contracts, coue∣nants, bargaines, conditions, agreements, compacts.

Promises, vowes, affiances, assurances, bonds, billes, inden∣tures, pole-deedes, deeds of guift, defesances, feoffments, en∣dowments, vowchers, double vowchers, priuie entries, actions, declarations, explications, reioinders, surreioinders, ••ghts, inte∣res••, demands, claymes, or titles whatsoeuer, heretofore be∣twixt the one and the other party, or parties, being had, made, past, couenanted & agreed, from the beginning of the world, till the day of the date hereof, giuen the 17. of Nouember 1500. and so forth, here Sir you must set to your hand.

Cor.

What els maister Notary, I am resolute ifaith.

Gaz.

Sweete husband forbeare.

Cor.

Auoyde, I charge thee in name of this diuorce: Thou mightst haue lookt to it in time, yet this I will doe for thee; if thou canst spie out any other man that thou wouldest cuckolde, thou shalt haue my letter to him: I can do no more: more Inke maister Notary, I wright my name at large.

Not.

Here is more Sir.

Cor.

Ah asse that thou could not knowthy happinesse till thou hadst lost it, how now? my nose bleed? shall I write in blood? what onely three drops? Sfoote thi's Omninous: I will not set my hand toot now certaine, maister Notary I like not this abodement: I will deferre the setting too of my hand till the next court day: keepe the diuorce I pray you, and the wo∣man in your house together.

Om.

Burne the diuorce, burne the diuorce.

Cor.

Not so Sir, it shall not serue her turne M. Notary, keep

it at your perill, & gentlemen you may be gone a Gods name, what haue you to doe to flocke about me thus? I am neither Howlet, nor Cuckooe: gentlewomen for gods sake medle with your owne cases, it is not fit you should haunt these publike as∣sembles.

Om.

well, farewell Corn••lio.

Val.

Vse the gentlewoman kindely maister Notary, As mine owne wise, I assure you Sir.

Exeunt.

Clau.

Signior Cornelio I cānot but in kindenes tell you that Balerio by counsaile of Rinaldo hath whispered all this 〈◊〉〈◊〉 into your eares, not that he knew any iust cause in your wise, but only to be reuengd on you, for the gull, you put vpon him, when you drew him with his glory to touch the Theorbo.

Cor.

May I beleeue this?

Clau.

As I am a gentleman: and if this accident of your nose had not falne out, I would haue told you this before you set too your hand.

Cor.

It may well be, yet haue I cause enough To perfect my diuorce, but it shall rest, Till I conclude it with a Counterbuffe, giuen to these noble rascals: Claudio thankes: What comes of this, watch but my braine a little, And yee shall see, if like two partes in me, I leaue not both these gullers wits Imbrierd, Now 〈◊〉〈◊〉 perceiue well where the wilde winde sits, Heres Gull for Gull and wits at warre with wits.

(Exeunt.