The Spanish bavvd, represented in Celestina: or, The tragicke-comedy of Calisto and Melibea Wherein is contained, besides the pleasantnesse and sweetnesse of the stile, many philosophicall sentences, and profitable instructions necessary for the younger sort: shewing the deceits and subtilties housed in the bosomes of false seruants, and cunny-catching bawds.

ACTVS. II.

THE ARGVMENT.

CELESTINA, being departed from Calisto, and gone home to her owne house; Calisto continues talking with Sempro∣nio, his seruant; who like one that is put in some good hope, thinking all speed too slow, sends away Sempronio to Celesti∣na, to solicit her for the quicker dispatch of his conceiued businesse; Calisto and Parmeno in the meane while reasoning together.

INTERLOCVTORS. Calisto, Sempronio, Parmeno.

CAlisto.

Tell me (my Masters) The hundred crownes which I gaue yonder old Bel-dame, are they well be∣stowed, or no?

Sempr.

Yes Sir, exceeding well. For, besides, the sauing of your life, you haue gained much honour by it. And for what end is fortune fauourable and prosperous, but to be a handmaide to our honour, and to wayte thereon, which of all worldly goods is the greatest? For honor is the reward and recom∣pence of vertue; and for this cause wee giue it vnto the Diuine Essence, because wee haue not any thing greater to giue him. The best part whereof consisteth in liberality and bounty: and this close-fistednes, and vncommunicated treasure, doth eclypse and darken, whereas magnificence and liberality doth gaine, and highly extoll it. What good is it for a man to keep that to himselfe, which in the keeping of it, does himselfe no good? I tell you, Sir, and what I speake is truth; Better is the vse of riches, then the possessing of them. O, how glorious a thing is it to giue? and how miserable to

receiue? See, how much better action is then passion: so much more noble is the giuer, then the receiuer. Amongst the Elements, the fire, because it is more actiue, is the more noble: and therefore placed in the Spheares, in the noblest place. And some say; that noblenesse is a praise proceeding from the merit, and antiquity of our Ancesters. But I am of opinion, that another mans light can ne∣uer make you shine, vnlesse you haue some of your owne. And therefore doe not glory in the noblenesse of your father, who was so magnificent a Gentleman, but in your owne. Shine not out of his, but your owne light; and so shall you get your selfe honour, which is mans greatest outward good. Wherefore not the bad, but the good, (such as your selfe) are worthy to partake of so perfect a vertue. And besides, I must tell you, that perfect vertue doth not suppose that Honour hath it's fellow: and therefore reioce with your selfe, that you haue beene so magnificent, and so bountifull. And thus, Sir, hauing told you my minde, let mee now aduise you that you would be pleased to returne backe to your chamber, and there take some rest, sithence, that your businesse is deposited in such hands; assuring your selfe, that the beginning being so good, the end will be much better: and so let vs goe presently to your chamber; where I shall treate more at large with you concer∣ning this businesse.

Calisto.

Me thinkes (Sempronio) it is no good counsell, that I shouldest heere accompanied, and that shee should goe all alone, who seekes to cure my ill: it were better that thou shouldst goe a∣long with her, and hasten her on, since thou knowst, that on her dili∣ligence dependeth my well-fare; on her slownesse, my painfulnesse, on her neglect, my despaire. Thou art wise, I know thee to bee faithfull, I hold thee a good seruant. And therefore so handle the matter, that she shall no sooner see thee, but that shee may iudge of that paine which I feele, and of that fire which tormenteth mee; whose extreme heat will not giue me leaue to lay open vnto her the third part of my secret sickenesse. So did it tye my tongue, and tooke such hold on my sences, that they were not onely busied, but in a manner wasted and consumed; which thou, as one that is free from the like passion, maist more largely deliuer, letting thy words runne with a looser reyne.

Sempr.

Sir, I would faine goe to fulfill your command: And I would fayne stay, to ease you of your care; your feare puts spurs to my sides; and your solitarinesse, like a bridle, pulls mee backe. But I will obey and follow your councell; which is, to goe and la∣bour the old woman. But how shall I goe? For, if I leaue you thus all alone, you will talke idlely, like one that is distracted; doe no∣thing but sigh, weepe, and take on, shutting your selfe vp in dark∣nesse, desiring solitude, and seeking new meanes of thoughtfull tor∣ment; wherein if you still perseuere, you cannot escape either death or madnesse. For the auoyding whereof, get some good company

about you, that may minister vnto you occasion of mirth, by recoun∣ting of witty conceits, by intertaining you with Musicke, and sing∣ing merry songs, by relating Stories, by deuising Motto's, by tel∣ling tales, by playing at cards, iesting, sporting. In a word, by in∣uenting any other kinde of sweet and delightfull recreation, for to passe away the time, that you may not suffer your thoughts to run still wandring on in that cruell errour, whereinto they were put by that your Lady and Mistresse, vpon the first trance and encoun∣ter of your Loue.

Calisto.

How like a silly foole thou talkest! Know'st thou not, that it easeth the paine, to bewaile it's cause? O how sweet is it to the sorrowfull, to vnsheathe their griefes? What ease doe broken 〈◊〉〈◊〉 bring with them? O what a diminishing and refreshing to tearefull complaints, is the vnfolding of a mans woes, and bitter 〈◊〉〈◊〉? As many as euer writ of comfort, and consolation, doe all of them iumpe in this.

Sempr.

Read a little farther, and but turne ouer the leafe, and you shall finde they say thus: That to trust in things temporall, and to seek after matter of sorrow, is a kinde of foolishnesse, if not mad∣nesse. And that Macias, the Idoll of Louers, forgetfull of himselfe, because his mistresse did forget him; and carelesse of his well ••are, because she cared not for him, complaines himselfe thus: That the punishment of loue consists in the contemplation thereof: And that the best remedy against loue, is, not to thinke on thy loue. The ease lies in the forgetting it. Kick not therefore against the pri••ke, feyne thy selfe to be merry, pluck vp your spirits and be of good cheere, and all, you shall see, shall be well: for oftentimes, opinion brings things whither it listeth: Not that it should cause vs to swarue from the truth; but for to teach vs to moderate our se••ce, and to gouerne our iudgement.

Calisto.

Sempronio, my friend, (for so thy loue makes me stile thee) since it so grieues thee that I should be alone, call Parmeno hi∣ther, and hee shall stay with me: and henceforth, be thou, (as thou hast euer beene) faithfull and loyall vnto mee. For, in the seruice of the seruant, consisteth the Masters remuneration. O Parmeno!

Parme.

Heere, Sir.

Calisto.

O I thinke not, for I cannot see thee. Leaue her not, Sem∣pronio: Ply her hard, follow her at an inch. Forget mee not, I pray thee. Now Parmeno, what thinkest thou of that which hath past to day? My paine is great; Melibea stately, Celestina wise, she is her crafts Master, and we cannot doe amisse. Thou hast maynly opposed thy selfe against her: and to draw me to a detestation of her, thou hast painted her forth to the purpose, and set her out in her colours: and I beleeue thee. For such and so great is the force of truth, that it commands euen the tongues of our enemies. But be she such, as thou hast described her to be; yet had I rather giue her an hundred Crownes, then giue another fiue.

Parme.

Is the winde in that doore? Doe you beginne to com∣plaine already? Haue you now better bethought your selfe? Wee shall shortly complaine too at home; for I feare mee, we shall fast for this frankenesse.

Calisto.

It is thy opinion, Parmeno, that I aske; Gratifie mee therein: Hold, dost thou looke? Why hang'st thou downe thy head, when thou shouldest answer me? But I perceiue, that as en∣uy is sad, and sadnesse without a tongue; thine owne will can doe more with thee, then feare of my displeasure. What is that thou grumblest at? What didst thou mutter to thy selfe, as though thou wert angry?

Parm.

I say, Sir, that it had been better you had imployed your li∣berality on some present, or the like seruices vpon Melibea her selfe, then to cast away your money vpon this old Bawd: I know well enough what shee is; and which is worse, on such a one, as mindes to make you her slaue.

Calisto.

How (you foole) her slaue?

Parme.

I, her slaue. For to whom thou tellest thy secret, to him doest thou giue thy liberty.

Calisto.

It is something that the foole hath said; but I would faine know this of thee; whether or no, when as there is a great di∣stance betwixt the intreater, and the intreated, the suitor, and the party sued vnto, either out of authority of obedience, or greatnesse of estate and dignity, or noblenesse of descent of bloud, as there is betwixt my Mistresse, and my selfe; Whether or no (I pray) it be not necessary to haue an intercessour, or mediatour for mee, who may euery foot go to and fro with my messages, vntill they ar∣riue at her eares, of whom, to haue a second Audience, I hold it im∣possible. And if it be thus with me, tell me, whether thou appro∣uest of what I haue done, or no?

Parm.

The diuell approue it for mee.

Calisto.

What saist thou?

Parme.

Marry, I say, Sir, that neuer any errour came yet vnac∣companied; and that one inconuenience is the cause of another, and the doore that opens vnto many.

Calisto.

Thy saying I approue, but vnderstand not thy purpose.

Parme.

Then thus, Sir, your losing of your Hawke the other day, was the cause of your entring into the Garden, where Melibea was to looke if she were there; your entring, the cause that you both saw her, and talked with her; your talke ingendred loue; your loue brought forth your paine; and your paine, will be the cause of your growing carelesse and wretchlesse both of your body, soule, and goods. And that which grieues me most, is, that you must fall into the hands of that same Trot-vp-and down; that maiden-head-mon∣ger, that same gadding to and fro Bawd, who for her villanies, and rogueries in that kinde, hath beene three seuerall times implu∣med.

Calisto.

Is't e'n so, Parmeno? Is this all the comfort thou canst giue me? Tell me rather something that may please me, and giue mee better content then this can. And know withall, that the more thou dost dispraise, the better doe I like her. Let her cumply with mee, and effect my businesse, and let them implume her the fourth time too, if they will, I care not. Thou hast thy wits about thee; thou speak 〈◊〉〈◊〉 hauing any sense of paine; thou art not heart-sicke, as I 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Parmeno, nor is thy minde touched with that sense of sorrow, 〈…〉〈…〉

Parme.

I had rather, Sir, that you should be angry with me, and reprehend me out of your choller, for crossing your opinion, then out of your after-repentance, to condemne mee for not counselling you 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the contrary. For I should but dissemble with you, if I should not tell you, That then you lost your liberty, when you did first captiuate, and imprison your will.

Calisto.

This Villaine would be well eudgelled; Tell mee (thou vnmanerly Rascall) Why dost thou blaspheme that which I adore? And you, Sir, who would seeme to be so wise, what wot'st thou of honour? Tell me, what is Loue? shew me wherein Ciuility con∣sisteth; Or what belongs to good maners? Thou wouldst faine be accounted discreet, and wouldst that I should thinke so, and yet dost not consider with thy selfe, that the first round in follies ladder, is for a man to thinke himselfe wise. If thou didst but feele the paine that I do: with other water wouldst thou bathe that burning, and wash that raging wound, which the cruell shaft of Cupid hath made in my 〈◊〉〈◊〉. See, what remedy Sempronio brings vnto mee with his feete, the same dost thou put away with thy tongue, with thy vaine and vncomfortable words. And feyning thy selfe (forsooth) to be faith∣full, thou art in realty of truth, nothing else but a meere Clot, and Lum•• of earth; a boxe fill'd with nothing but the very dregs and 〈…〉〈…〉 of malice: the very Inne and House, that giues open inter∣•••••• 〈…〉〈…〉 Enuy; not caring so as thou maist defame, & discredit 〈…〉〈…〉 it right or by wrong, how thou puttest a dis∣•••••••• 〈…〉〈…〉 thou knowing that this my paine, and ouer∣•••••• 〈…〉〈…〉 by reason, nor will admit aduice, but is 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of counsell, which is as if one should tell mee; that That which is bred in the bone, may be fetcht out of the flesh: or that which is glewed to the very heart and intralls of a man, may be vn••oo••ed without renting the ••ou••e from the body Sempronio did feare his going, and thy staying: it was mine owne seeking; I would needs haue it so; And therefore worthily suffer the trouble of his absence and thy presence: and better is it, for a man to be a∣lone, then ill accompanied.

Parme.

Sir, it is a weake fidelity, which feare of punishment can turne to flattery; more especially, with such a Master, whom sor∣row and affliction depriue of reason, and make him a stranger to his naturall iudgement. Take but away this same vaile of blinde∣nesse,

and these momentary fi••es will quickly vanish; and then shall you know, that these my sharpe words are better to kill this strong Canker, & to stifle these vio••ent flames, then the soft smoothings of foot••ing Sempronio, which feede your humor, quicken vp your loue, kindle afresh your flames, and ioyne brands to brands, which shall neuer leaue burning, till they haue quite consumed you, and brought you to your graue.

Calisto.

Peace, peace, you Var••et; I am in paine and anguish, and thou readest phylosophy vnto me. But I expect no better at thy hands; I haue not the patience to heare thee any longer. Goe, be¦gone; Get foorth my horse; See hee be well and cleane drest; 〈◊〉〈◊〉 him well. For I must passe by the house of my Melibea, or rather of my Goddesie.

Parm.

Holla, boyes, where be you? Not a boy about the house. I must be faine to doe it my selfe; and I am glad it is no worse: for I feare 〈◊〉〈◊〉 it be long, wee shall come to a worse office, then to be boyes of the spurre, and to lackey it at the stirrop. Well, let the world slide, and things be as they may be, when they cannot be as they should be. My Gossips (I see as it is in the prouerbe) are an∣gry with mee for speaking the truth. Why, how now you Iade? Are you neig••ing too? Is not one iealous Louer inough in a house? Or dost thou winde Melibea?

Calisto.

When comes this horse? Why, Parmeno, what dost thou meane? why bring•• thou him not away?

Parm.

Heere hee is: Sosia was was not within.

Calisto.

Hold the stirrop. Open the gate a little wider. If Sem∣pronio chance to come in the meane while, and the old woman with him, will them to stay; for I will returne presently.

Parme.

Go, neuer to returne, and the diuell goe with thee. Let a man tell these fooles all that he can for their owne good, they will neuer see it; and I, for my part beleeue; that if I should now at this instant giue him a blow on the heele, I should beat more braine out of his hee••e then his head. Goe whither thou wilt for me: For I dare pawne my life, that Celestina and Sempronio will fleece you ere they haue done with you, and not leaue you so much as one Master-feather to maintaine your flight. O vnfortunate that I am, that I should suffer hatred for my truth, and receiue harme for my faithfull seruice! Others thriue by their knauery, and I lose by my honesty. The world is now growne to that passe, that it is good to be bad, and bad to be good; and therefore I will follow the fashion of the times, and doe as other men doe: since that Trai∣tours are accounted wise and discreet, and faithfull men are deemed silly honest fooles. Had I credited Celestina, with her sixe dozen of yeeres about her, and followed her counsell, I had not beene thus ill intreated by Calisto. But this shall bee a warning vnto mee euer heereafter, to say as he saies. If he shall say, Come, let vs eate, and be merrie, I will say so too. If, Let vs throw downe the house, I

also will approue it. If hee will burne all his goods, I will helpe to fetch the fire. Let him destroy, hang, drowne, burne himselfe, and giue all that hee hath (if hee will) to Bawds; I for my part will hold my peace, and helpe to deuide the spoyle. Besides, it is an an∣cient and true receiued Rule; That it is best fishing in troubled 〈◊〉〈◊〉▪ Wherefore I will neuer any more be a dog••e in a mill, to be beaten for my barking.