The life, confession, and heartie repentance of Francis Cartwright, Gentleman for his bloudie sinne in killing of one Master Storr, Master of Arts, and minister of Market Rason in Lincolnshire. Written with his owne hand.

Francis Cartwrights RESOLVTION AND RELIGION.

THus my Life hath beene an heauie burthen to mee, continually pressing mee downe. And although in my youth, I was truely taught the true and sound Religion, how to feare, honour and serue God; in so much that I durst not presume to runne wilfully into sin, or to liue and continue in sinne without Repentance: Yet so farre at length the subtilties of Satan, the al∣lurements and pleasures of the World, mine owne naturall frailties, and my want of Temperance and Iudgement preuailed and ouer-mastered mee; that I presumed of the name of Faith, and of Gods Mer∣cies towards me, and gloried in mine owne estate and condition while I compared my selfe with some o∣thers, whom I perceiued so much to neglect God, as that they only vsed Policie, and made Religion one∣ly

a Cloake; and I blinde and miserable wretch so presumptuously thrust my selfe on Gods mercies, without regard to Gods Lawes.

So from hence haue proceeded all other euils and mischiefes which haue befallen me. Hence it is that I haue so fearefully fallen, and so grieuously and hay∣nously sinned against God, committing these outra∣gious sinnes which I would not haue committed for the sauing of my life, and for the expiating and ran∣soming of which, after that I had acted and com∣mitted them, I would willingly haue giuen my life, if it could haue beene accepted for a satisfaction. And God, for these my sinnes, giuing me ouer; I wa∣sted my Estate by Suites, not abating myne expences as my Estate wasted: whereby I see plainly that Gods heauie and dreadfull hand hath haunted and pursued me not only for my cruell and bloudy sinne commit∣ted vpon Master Storr, but also for my other sinnes and transgressions which I haue committed, some∣times presuming too much, and sometimes despay∣ring of Gods mercie. So that now being as it were, brought to the stake, and as a miserable distressed man put vpon the Racke; I am inwardly forced to make confession of my sinnes, open profession of my desires, purposes and resolutions, and giue account of my Religion before Almightie God and the World.

I doe see and obserue Gods fearefull Iudgements vpon all notorious Sinners from Adam vntill this present Age, not onely testified and recorded in the holy Scriptures and in prophane Histories, as for ex∣ample vpon Cain, Saul, Achitophel, Iudas, Herod,

and cruell Nero, and such like; but euen also daily executed before our eyes, as vpon Varney, Dansecar, Percie, Catesby, Wright, and all such Murtherers, Traytors, Pirats, Theeues, and vniust persons.

Sir Francis Varney an Englishman borne, and li∣uing here in Sensualitie vntill he had spent his Estate, went to Sea, and became Pirate. And falling in at Argears, and there for some small time remayning, hee fell in loue with a Whore or Prostitute, but shee being subtile, would not incline to him without mar∣riage; nor marrie vnlesse he would forsake his profes∣sion of Christ and turne Turke. Hee inraged with Lust after this Whore (became Turke) and presently marryed her, which hee no sooner had done, but a Dogge, which Dogge before wayted on him and loued him; assaulted and fell vpon him suddenly, most Lion or Tygre-like, as though hee would in∣stantly haue deuoured him: but being rescued, yet the Dogge in that rage tore the Calues of his legges. And yet a further iudgement fell vpon this Varney, for (albeit the Turkes for some small time, gaue him command and office) in the end they cashiered him, and being taken by the Spaniard, iudged him to the Gallies, where he wrought as a Slaue, vntill he dyed most miserably.

Danseker a Dutchman being a Pirate at Argears, though he turned not Turke, yet hee was as it is re∣ported, murdered by them of Argears priuately.

An Heathenish Pagan, Infidell, or Atheist, I am not: Neither am I of the Romish Religion, though (I confesse) there are many carnall reasons which do perswade me to imbrace and put in practice some of

their Opinions and Doctrines, as praying to Saints; because I hold my selfe vnworthy to pray to God Almightie, Purgatory that I might haue an end of torment, and not remayne vnder eternall wrath and Vengeance in Hell: Merit or satisfaction by Fryerly austeritie.

For such as I whose conscience is burthened, are held fit to be new moulded and tutored in their Mo∣nasteries, and set vpon strange and hideous Exploits, for redemption of themselues, and good of that Church. Besides, I haue had many fauors & courtesies from some noble and zealous persons of that Religi∣on, the losse of which I doe willingly sustaine for this mine open profession. Yea, being by Gods heauie iudgements plunged into the depth of extremities, I haue beene beholding to some of the learned among them, and can now, if my conscience would suffer me, be entertayned among them, either into their Cloy∣sters, or for the Warres; and be esteemed and suffici∣ently relieued with necessaries: whereas I am now neglected by mine owne Nation, who all seeme to verifie in me that saying of DAVID, God hath forsa∣ken him, pursue and take him. And though all this be come vpon mee, yet, I professe, I doe not encline to beleeue the Romish Doctrines of the Masse, Tran∣substantiation, Merit, Iustification by Workes, and such like. I acknowledge that all the glorie of our saluation is due to God, who worketh all in all. And to our Lord Iesus Christ we owe all the thankes, who by his owne sufferings, and with his most precious bloud hath satisfied the Law, pacified Gods wrath, payd our debt and ransome, and cancelled the bond.

And if they of mine owne Religion here in this Church of England should vtterly refuse me, forsake and cast mee off, yet will I still holde this opinion, and thus reuerently esteeme, thinke, and speake of this Church and Religion, and will choose rather to liue in concontinuall penury, then to be of another minde: For I am sure, this Religion is that which is taught in Gods holy Word, and therefore I must needs beleeue it; As for the doctrine of the Church of Rome, I could neuer find comfort in it, only in that which they deny to Lay-men, that is, the reading of the Scriptures do I find true ground of cōsolation.

True it is, that simple and vnstable men may abuse their reading of the Scriptures vnto errour, and by Gods gracious promises therein recorded, may take occasion to presume and trust too much to their own Faith and Gods Mercies: But this ought not to make vs disclayme or to neglect the daily reading of Gods sacred Word; for there is no meanes like to this so powerfull, to keepe men from committing of sinne; nor after sinne committed, to vphold them from fal∣ling into finall Desperation.

For my part, I haue desired as much as any Sinner that euer was, the content of this Worlds base sinfull Pleasures, Ryot, Vain-glory, Reuenge, Excesse in Prodigalitie, and the like: But these crosses and ca∣lamities befalling me. The reading of the Scriptures accompanied with the sweet Conference and Com∣fortable Letters of mercifull learned men, who haue dealt with me those wayes in England, and by wri∣ting to me into the Low Countries, (among whom I cannot omit to name with reuerence and thankfull

acknowledgement, Master Trigg, Master Buddle, Master Crashaw, and of late at Lambith, Master Do∣ctor Goad▪ and Master Doctor Featly, &c. vnto whom I haue sued as the woman did to Christ, euen for Crummes falling from our Sauiours Table) haue most powerfully opened mine eyes, and enlightened myne heart and soule to see, seele, and taste Gods Iudgements and Mercies, myne owne sinnes and transgressions, the peace of conscience, the difference of Sinners penitent and impenitent. Cain, Saul, Achi∣tophel, and Iudas, their despayre; and the confession and repentance of Dauid, Peter, and the rest of Gods Saints.

Seeing Dauid that great anointed King and all the renowned Seruants of God, haue confessed their bloud guiltinesse and other foule sinnes, and haue re∣pented of them, and openly exclaymed against them: Shall I a wretch not worthy to be named among the meanest of all deiected Sinners, thinke it a shame to me, and blush to confesse my sinnes, and openly to publish my griefe and repentance? Especially (seeing) now all the World; Learned Men, Gods Messengers, Friends, Enemies, the Troubles and Miseries which I haue sustayned, the peace and torment of Consci∣ence which I haue felt, doe prouoke mee, teach mee, driue me to confesse my sinnes and offences, offen∣ding and transgressing the Lawes of God.

I here (therefore) in bitternesse of soule, con∣fesse my faults, and cry out against all my sinnes com∣mitted from my birth to this present, from Master Storr his bloud; to euery hurt and wrong which I haue done to any, in deed, word, or thought: not

onely for my crueltie and reuenge done to men, but for that I haue since also thought it lawfull to defend my selfe with Sword, contrary to the Lawes of God, when I might perhaps better haue done it by other meanes.

It wounds me to think of my blasphemous oaths vttered in passion and distemper. My disobedience to my Parents, my excesse, my drinking of healthes, my prodigalitie: yea, my eating and drinking of more then to suffice nature, and my feeding of Hor∣ses, and Dogges with mans food, such as many good Christians wanted; expecting of the blessing for my faith without workes, and for beleeuing without li∣uing of a sanctified life, or truly following of a law∣full calling; my open and secret sinnes, my many motions to sinne, and too much yeelding to Satans subtilties and mine owne imperfections, vaine and light disposition, pronenesse to Anger, Pleasure, Distrust, Despayre, my presumption when God shewed any miraculous deliuerance, or any mercie to my soule, bodie or estate.

All these are as a terrible Armie of so many dead∣ly foes, and like so many Swords and Speares entring into my heart and soule. When I consider with my selfe mine owne vncertaine condition, how when I haue thought my selfe safe and sure, I haue found im∣mediately that I haue beene most vncertaine and in greatest danger; and when in greatest danger, by Gods helpe and power most secure; how in euery pleasure and calamitie I haue found a baite, and in e∣uery baite an hooke; and that though for the space of ten yeares last, I haue had a resolution not to sinne

with purpose; but rater to dye: yet by myne owne weaknesse and wilfulnesse in passion, I haue fallen in∣to so innumerable and so abominable sins, and haue as it were trampled vnder foote the bloud of the Son of God, and returned like the Dogge to his vomit, and like the Swine to the myre, by my continuall falling; repenting from the bottome of my heart, for all and euery sinne which I haue committed from my birth, to this moment.

And vpon the knees of my heart, doe with such humble desire and affection, as the difference requi∣reth betweene the Mightie and Almightie Comman∣der of Heauen, Earth, and Sea; and mee one of the greatest Sinners in the World, a wretched vile worme of no reputation: yea, with as seruent and vehement importunitie as euer any Thiefe did craue pardon, or childe mercy and forgiuenesse, do I begge and sue for pardon of God the Father of our Lord Iesus Christ, the seer of the secrets of all hearts, for his mercies sake, whose mercies are ouer all his workes, whose mercie preuayleth and reioyceth a∣gainst his iustice, and whose louing kindnesse lasteth for euer.

Vpon his promises made vnto vs in his holy word, doe I build all my hope and confidence, euen such as these following: viz. That though our sinnes bee as Crimson or Scarlet, he will make them white as Snow,* 1.1 or Wooll. That at what time soeuer a Sinner doth re∣pent, he will put out all his iniquites; that if they would turn from their wickednesse, and do righteousnesse, they shall not dye but liue, That he hath Balme of Gilead to heale the weake and sicke. Also vpon these promises

of our Lord Iesus, God equall with his Father, who saith, Come vnto me all ye that trauell and bee heauie* 1.2 laden, and I will ease you, &c. His disgraces, reproches, troubles, teares, sighes, grones, thornes, skornes, whipping, spitting vpon, beating, stripes, sweating, nayling, hanging, wounding, bleeding out his heart∣bloud, Passion, Death, Resurrection, and Ascension are so many Salues and Medicines to cure my blee∣ding soule. His bloud speaketh better things then the bloud of ABEL, and the cry thereof ouercommeth the voice of Master Stors bloud, and of all other my loud crying sinnes which call to Heauen for venge∣ance. And therefore with this his bloud which hath satisfied for all temporall and eternall punishments, doe I come sprinkled before God, and for the price and satisfaction made by this bloud, do I cry for mer∣cie, mercie, and earnestly desire grace to liue hereaf∣ter an holy and righteous life. I am a Christian and a penitent Sinner: how can I despaire or doubt of sal∣uation, knowing Gods infinite Mercie and Truth? that he is not onely a God of Mercy readie to pardon but also a God of Truth, who will truly fulfill his word and promise of pardon; vpon mens true Re∣pentance, as of iustice in punishing them, who persist in sinnes committed. Why should I bee afraid to touch the hemme of my Sauiours garment; seeing his promises are made vnto mee, his satisfaction for me, and for such Sinners as I am, he did vndergoe all his sufferings, from the pricke of the Thorne to the wound with the Speare; from his first groane, to his last act of passion, his graue and buriall to his Resur∣rection and Ascension into Glory? Mee, thinkes,

those blessed words of the Apostle are spoken not onely to me, but of mee; Iesus Christ came into the World to saue Sinners, of whom I am the chiefe. Can I repenting doubt? Can I being a Christian bee so base as to bee ashamed to confesse the Faith of our Lord Iesus Christ. Can I haue more content, or ayme at more then to be a Christian Conuert and a true Pe∣nitent, seeing there is no higher honour in the world to bee aymed at, no glory comparable to bee a true Christian? Can disgrace, pouertie, calamitie, height, or depth, life or death, sinne or the Deuill daunt me? They cannot, they cannot, for I finde God a light to mee in the midst of darknesse, and a refreshing com∣fort in all calamities. In so much that when I am in the deepest despayre for my sinnes, in the greatest a∣gonies and horrours of conscience and most bitter passions, thinking with my selfe what an Estate I once had, and how poore I am now? How I was valued, now despised, how they who esteemed mee liuing in sinne, doe now refuse mee repenting of my sinne.

What great cause of discomfort it is to me, that I cannot nor am able to haue the breeding, or to en∣ioy the sight of my Children being Infants, for whom I would suffer death, hauing no refuge but to bee a Souldier or serue: yet still euen when I am thus deiected, and cast downe as low as sinne, misery, and the Deuill can cast me downe: I doe not let goe my hold, but doe cleaue to God and am vpholden by him continually.

When it is manifest that none of these things can tempt and allure me eyther to remoue my Religion

which I professe, or to forsake my Lord Iesus Christ whom I should forsake and forgoe, if I should re∣solue to liue in Theft, Piracie or any other sinne: That I haue time to publish this I am fully satisfied my soule is at rest: I am lesse carefull of my life a thousand times, not desperately but humbly yeel∣ding my selfe to God; if I starue, perish, dye by the Sword, bee taken captiue by the Turke, and liue a most miserable Slaue all my dayes: Yea, come wo∣full life or shamefull death I will trust in God though he kill me, and will neuer flye from him.

And here (I professe) and protest before God and the World, that as I haue dishonoured God, stayned my selfe with bloud in a most vile and abominable manner, and defiled the honour of Religion to the great scandall and offence of many: So I doe now with all my heart desire, if I may be thought worthy, and haue a due calling thereunto, to stand with my Sword in my hand, and to expose my selfe to the greatest dangers in the World; in the most bloudie Battels, Fire or Sword, where God may shew extra∣ordinarie Mercie or Iudgement, in the defence of the Gospell and of true Christian Religion. And as I haue basely slaine a Minister of Gods Word, so in defence of the men of God, the faithfull Ministers of his Word in this Church of England, I may in any breach or danger interpose my selfe euen betweene them and death, and defie and withstand all their E∣nemies, or any other wayes yeeld my selfe to Gods Iudgements, Tryals, Corrections, and Directions, in a Vocation how low and meane soeuer, and neuer turne Capuchine, or take vpon mee any Popish and

Superstitious Vow and profession of austeritie which is a fit refuge for Cowards, Cains and Iudasses.

Though my sins are innumerable and abomina∣ble which still hang fast on me, and cleaue as rust vnto my corrupt nature: yet I haue the Balme of Gilead, the bloud of Iesus Christ; the mercie of God, and the Diuine Power of Heauen to counteruaile them all. Yea, I haue many markes and tokens of Gods grace giuen to me, and of his mercy shewed towards me which doe much refresh my soule.

As first, that I aske and sue for mercie at no other power, but at the hand of God for our Lord Iesus Christs sake, and so in the right way to the Fountaine of Life.

Secondly, That I find great content and comfort in wrastling against flesh and bloud, and all myne owne corruptions, and in maintayning to the Deuils face my Religion, Faith, Hope, Repentance.

Thirdly, That I hold my certaine and resolute de∣termination, as an armour against his fiery Darts, and doe still lay fast and sure hold on our Lord Iesus Christ, hoping to perseuer and hold out to the end.

Fourthly, That I haue peace of conscience more then the World is worth, which if I neuer had tasted nor knowne but were as an Heathen or Turke, I should with the World (holding that for bloud, ven∣geance must haunt without Redemption, and so be∣ing frighted with Furies vnknowne and endlesse) grow desperate, and like Varney and Dansekar, dye with bloudie content in reuenge, or prosecute till death Piracie or Theft, to mitigate my endlesse tor∣menting miseries, and to leaue my Children an E∣state,

though neuer so vniustly got.

Fiftly, That I cannot be brought to deny Christ, or to doubt that there is a Christ, nor be pulled from beleeuing in Christ, and hope to bee saued through him, by the Deuill, nor all my sinnes, if I had all the sinnes in the World vpon me.

Sixtly, That I am deliuered from the danger and infection of the Romish Religion. For if I were of that Religion, I would attempt any sinfull course, as Theft or Piracie to releeue my wants in hope of Par∣don, Penance or Purgatorie, (for no punishment should terrifie me, let it bee whatsoeuer it could bee, euen Purgatorie it selfe, so it might haue end I would willingly endure it, if so be it might procure me par∣don, and vnder that condition grant mee libertie to sinne) I should with them of that Religion hold that Iustice must bee satisfied necessarily vpon Sinners in this World, and that by our owne bodily sufferings, sinne must bee expiated, and there is no auoyding it. And so I would seeke by voluntary earthly punish∣ment in this life to satisfie Iustice, by turning Pil∣grime or Capuchine.

Yea, I am assured that our Lord Iesus hath satis∣fied for all punishments of vengeance both tempo∣rall and eternall, though I haue endured or should hereafter vndergoe all miseries and calamities, and e∣uen a most bitter and painfull death, yet I doe not account them any satisfaction or expiation, my bloud cannot satisfie for bloud; I may if God should so dispose, haue a bloudie end, as a iust re∣ward of my sinne, I cannot deny it: but what can sa∣tisfie to iustifie? Surely none of mine owne misera∣ble

calamities can make any part of satisfaction, that is a thing which I vtterly disclayme; onely the bloud and satisfaction of Iesus Christ is that on which I doe lay hold and relye by Faith for Iustification.

Yet because not onely the Maiestie of God hath beene deeply offended by my haynous transgressi∣ons, but also his Church greatly scandalized, and the mindes of my graue Fathers and deare Brethren in Christ no lesse deeply wounded in their compassion for him that dyed by my hand, then himselfe was in his passion and bodily dissolution, whose many wounds bleed a fresh in my eyes and memorie: I pro∣fesse my selfe readie and willing to endure whatsoe∣uer other humiliation this blessed Church hath or shall impose vpon mee, for the further assurance of my satisfaction to her, which may in some sort suite with the depth of my offence against her and her Children.

Verily as I abhorre Popish satisfaction, deroga∣ting from the merits of Christs bloud, so I with o∣thers more learned then my selfe; wish that the an∣cient Discipline of the Primitiue sincere Church were more throughly reuiued in euery scandalous crime by publike confession, submission and satis∣faction to the Christian Congregation. Wherein my self desire as much to go beyond others in my humi∣liation, as I haue exceeded all in my presumptuous transgressions. With offensiue, but penitent Ecebo∣lius, in the Ecclesiasticall History, I say of my selfe; Cast me out, tread vpon me for vnsauourie Salt.

FINIS.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Esay 1. 1••.
• * 1.2

  Mat. 25.