To the extent possible under law, the Text Creation Partnership has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to this keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above, according to the terms of the CC0 1.0 Public Domain Dedication (http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/). This waiver does not extend to any page images or other supplementary files associated with this work, which may be protected by copyright or other license restrictions. Please go to http://www.textcreationpartnership.org/ for more information.
Rules that shew vs how to carry ourselues in companie, and not giue offence.
THus of our carriage towards * 1.1 others in company, as it re∣spects their faults. Now follow∣eth the third sort of rules, which order our behauiour towards others in company in respect of inoffensiuenesse. It ought to be our principall care to carry our selues so, as no body may take offence at vs.
Now these rules may bee di∣rected to their heads, as they concerne,
| 1. The humilitie, | of our beha∣uior toward others. |
| 2. The discretion, | |
| 3. The puritie |
Wee must carry our selues humbly, discreetly, and honestly in our conuersation with others: so shall wee conuerse with much amiablenesse and reputation.
First, vnto the humility of * 1.2 our conuersation, belong these Rules.
First, be soft, shew all meekenesse to all men, restraining the inordi∣nation * 1.3 of thy heart, endeuouring to shew thy selfe gentle, and peaceable, and harmelesse, and easie to be intreated, Tit. 3. 1, 2. Prou. 8. 13. Iam. 3. 13.
Secondly, thou must bow downe * 1.4 thine care, and heare the words of the wise, and apply thy heart, to get knowledge, and profit thy selfe by others, Prou. 23. 12. This is the same with that of Iames, Be swift to heare, and slow to speake, Iam. 1. 19.
Thirdly, put not forth thy * 1.5
selfe, nor stand in the place of great men, till thou bee called, Prou. 25. 6.
In generall, concerning hu∣mility, the Apostle Peters phrase is much to be noted: he saith, we should clothe our selues with humi∣litie: which notes both the great measure of it, it should couer all our actions, and also the conti∣nuance of it. When we goe a∣mongst men, we should stirre vp our hearts, and fashion our selues to expresse his grace, and not dare to be seene without humi∣litie, * 1.6 no more then wee would be seene without our clothes. Hu∣militie hides our nakednesse, and pride and passion lay it open to the view and contempt of o∣thers.
Secondly, neither is humility all that is required to make our * 1.7 conuersation without offence or prouocation; but wee must also carry our selues discreetly; and to this end there are these ex∣cellent
Rules.
First, thou must consider to speake what is acceptable, and a∣uoid what may irritate; there is singular vse of this rule, if it were followed, Prou 10. 31, 1•…•…. and 13. 3.
Secondly, thou must marke those that cause diuision and off•…•…n∣ces, and auoide them, and shun the society of such, Rom. 16. 17, 18. This will breed thee much peace, and deliuer thee from much sus∣pition in others.
Thirdly, thou must make no friendship with the angry man; for either by much conuersing with him, thou maist learne his waies, or else it will be a snare to thee, that thou shalt neither know how to keepe his fauour, nor yet how to breake off from him, without much vnrest and incon∣uenience, Prou. 22. 24, 25.
Fourthly, it is a great discre∣tion in euill time to bee silent. In things wherein thou mayest en∣danger
thy selfe, and not profit others, it is thy best way, and a wise course, to forbeare speech of such things, Amos 5. 13.
Fiftly, so likewise it is thy dis∣cretion in matters of dangers to forbeare the communicating of thy secret to any, though thou migh∣test be tempted to a perswasion of trust in those to whom thou wouldest reueale them. It may often repent thee to haue spo∣ken, but seldome to haue held thy peace, Mica. 7. 5.
Sixthly, withdraw thy feet from thy neighbours house, lest he be wea∣rie of thee, and hate thee: this is an excellent rule giuen by Salo∣man, Prou. 25. 17. If thou woul∣dest conuerse with reputation, take heed of idle gadding from house to house, when thou hast no occasion or employment: thou mayest draw hereby much secret contempt and loathing of thee, when thy emptinesse and vanity shall be thereby discoue∣red.
An empty conuersation, that hath in it no exercise of pi∣erie or vertue, if it bee frequent, occasioneth secret, and vnutte∣rable scorne.
7. Restraine thine owne passions in conuersing. There are none so wise, but if they shew their pas∣sions of immoderate anger, feare, griefe, yea, or ioy, they discouer much weaknes in their disposi∣tion, which would bee couered if they did bridle the excesse of their passions. A wise man coue∣reth shame, when a foole is presently knowne: It is the best praise not to haue such weaknesses; but the next to this, is by discretion to bridle our selues, so as we may hide our weaknesses from brea∣king out.
Lastly, thou maist make good vse of that direction of Salomon about thy friend, Blesse not thy friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning; for it may bee ac∣counted a curse to thee: Take heede
of flattery, which in stead of ef∣fecting thine owne ends, may bring thee out of all respect. He doth not forbid the iust praise, and encouragement of friends, but the intending of praise of purpose to the vttermost notice of thy friend, (this is to praise him with a loud voice) and the affectation of preuenting others in praising; and of doing it in such things as are not yet su•…•…i∣ently knowne to be praise-wor∣thy, and to set ones selfe so to praise, as if he studied to doe no∣thing else, but humour his friend; especially if it be but once per∣ceiued, that thou doest it but for thy owne ends. It is a great part of wisedome, to know how to speake of the praise of others, so as neither sinister ends be inten∣ded, nor the humouring of those we praise: to doe it sparingly and seasonably, is a great discre∣tion.
And thus of the Rules, that
make our conuersation amiable, in respect of discretion.
Thirdly, that our conuersation * 1.8 may not be hurtfull & offensiue, we must looke to the purity of it: and so these rules following are of singular vse.
First, in generall, Refraine thy tongue from euill, and thy lips that they speake no guile, Psal. 34. 13. For he that keepeth his mouth, kee∣peth his soule, Prou. 21. 23. Take heed of the vsuall vices of the tongue: for thereout may come much mischiefe, and discontent to thy selfe and others.
Secondly, in particular looke to thy selfe carefully, that thou a∣uoide those three euils mentio∣ned by the Apostle, Ephes. 5. 4. viz. filthy speaking, foolish talking and iesting. By iesting he meanes those biting iests, that vnder pretence of shewing wittines, or conceit, doe secretly leaue dis∣grace vpon the persons whom they concerne.
Thirdly, auoid with detesta∣tion the excesse in drinking and re∣uelling, and suffer thy selfe vpon no pretence, to bee drawne to giue way to thine owne practice in them, 1 Pet. 4. 3.
Rules that concerne the inoffen∣siuenesse of our carri∣age in com∣pany.
An humble behauiour hath three things in it.
Note
8 Rules that con∣cerne dis∣cretion in our beha∣uiour.
Three rules that con∣cerne the purity of our con∣uersation.