Ar't asleepe husband? A boulster lecture; stored with all variety of witty jeasts, merry tales, and other pleasant passages; extracted, from the choicest flowers of philosophy, poesy, antient and moderne history. Illustrated with examples of incomparable constancy, in the excellent history of Philocles and Doriclea. By Philogenes Panedonius.

SECTION III. Their Moderation of Passion.

TO vindicate their weake Sexe from what they are most taxed: and cleare them in the testimony of Opinion of that wherein they stand most censured, might seeme to some super∣cilious Eye a taske of maine difficulty: And yet such a Province are we to enter, and to accomplish (if our hopes faile us not) to their demeriting honour. Nor doe we as∣sume this Taske, to ingratiate our selfe with that Sexe: For our decline from youth hath wained our affections from all such Ob∣jects: but to bestow upon such as deserved

well of Opinion, their just character, reward and guerdon.

It is our common English proverbe, The Worm will turne againe: and weake women, who have no other armor to shield them, no other refuge to shroud them but a few hasty words, or passionate teares, must needs plead their innocence, when injuries shall assaile them, with such supplies as Nature ha's afforded them. Yet even in this defen∣sive provision, I shall instance some so rarely moderate; as discretion injoyn'd them si∣lence in the one, and resolution a masculine patience in the other.

At that unexemplary disaster at Cannae, when the utter ruine and overthrow of the Romans rung in every place (not to mention the well-composed temper and resolution of the men themselves) with what moderation of p••ssion did those Roman Dames beare them∣selves? Farre were they from shedding ef∣feminate teares, or exclaming against De∣stiny, or demeaning themselves in any thing unworthily. No, their spirits were inflam'd to better and higher designes.

Let not there Occurrents amate you, said they to so many as survived that slaughter; if you want of your owne Sexe to supply you; behold your second-selfes ready to dye with you. Perish you cannot with∣out us, you may with us. Hearts we have

that shall not faile you, so long as you faile not from doing what may become you. On then with resolution, and let Apulia know, where you suffer'd this dis∣aster, that Rome can want no Souldiers so long as she ha's women to defend her honour.

Yea, should we relate what incomparable moderation of passion, those famous Roman Matrones expressed in their great trials of patience, we should finde it more easy to admire them than imitate them. Though Oc∣tavia suffer in the highest measure; she can passe over her indignities with a sweet smile: and sleight her too good grounds of jealou∣sy, with a winning Letter, wishing only her Husband to be tender of his honour.

Porcia can suffer in a noble manner for her endangered Lord, yet scornes in teares to manifest her love. Her study is to se∣cond him with advice, to prevent danger, come off with honour, and leave to posterity a memorable testimony of his valour.

Tanaquil, that noble Lady, wife to Tar∣quinius Priscus, can in the lowest ebbe and defluence of Fortune, encourage her Hus∣band to noble attempts: saying,

it was not the property of a brave spirit, to lose any part of his courage for an ad∣verse encounter, or put finger i'th' eye for any disaster▪ but to arme himselfe with

resolution so much higher, as the insulting braves of Fortune have brought him lower. Nay, consider, quoth she, how Fortune owes you, so much as she ha's ta∣ken from you.

By which advice he became so strength∣ned, and by her perswasions so incouraged as of a private Tuscane, he so discreetly and moderately behaved himselfe, that after the death of Ancus, he was created King of the Romans.

That temperate Caecilia, how wisely she moderated her passion in those extreamest gusts of Fortune, may remaine a singular instance in this kind. Danger could not beget in her a shivering feare; nor her pre∣sent suffering one trickling teare. She found nothing worth prizing but her ho∣nour; which preserv'd, she could with all indifferency entertaine any encounter:

To lose that which I never had, quoth she, I cannot: and to grieve for the losse of what I once had, I will not: Seeing, as my Predecessors once enjoy'd what I now have, so must my Successors have what I now enjoy.

Hence doe I gather a moderation of passion in eyther.

Cornelia, whose very name merits a title of succeeding honour, shewed no arguments of unbeseeming passion in the very height of her affliction; knowing how to value the

quality of griefe. Though not the least beameling of comfort appeared, she retei∣ned such a noble spirit; as not a Roman Lady but admir'd her; nor any Annall writ in her time, but records the memory of her. Nothing could trouble her but Septimius treason: and this appeared more nobly in her. For nothing can be more o∣dious to any Heroick mind than the igno∣minious act of a Traitor. And what worse than to see a servant betray his Master? To see one, whom her lord had relieved; with many favours graced; and to immerited ho∣nours advanced; deprive him of life to whom both his life and Fortunes stood in∣gaged!

To this vertuous Lady, whose many mis∣fortunes had taught her sufficiently how to moderate passion; and with a discreet checke to discourage the proffer of any light affe∣ction, might those Lines be aptly applied, exhorting those young Ladies to follow the steps of so noble a Grand-mother.

For you, young Ladies, you've a pat∣terne too, One, whose religious life will teach you how To manage yours: and this is your Grand-mother: It were piacular to name another.

Nor is there any such necessity to fetch our instances from Tiber: Excellent women have both former and present times afforded within this hedged Garden, whose admirable temper, to their never-dying ho∣nour, hath deserved no lesse praise. Such, who could smile at misery, and with such a composed grace entertaine the stormes of Fortune: as none that saw them, could doe lesse than highly condemne her of inequa∣lity of judgement, or want of sight, (to her a proper attribute) to bring them downe to the lowest part of her wheele, who deserved for moderation of passion, with other argu∣ments of discretion, to be ranked with the highest in the Common-wealth.

Nor, indeed, can this moderation of pas∣sion, whereof we now treat, receive more approvement from any person, than such an one, who sometimes ha's enjoyed the ful∣nesse of earthly happinesse; and afterwards fallen into the extremities of want: Or such, who though they partake in all freedome and fulnesse of fortune; seconded by power∣full Friends: rewarded with deserving ho∣nours: yet finde an Eclypse or contraction of light in all these, by some private discon∣tent; which by strength of Assistants is in their power to redresse by revenge, but out of their noblenesse of spirit will not. This I could illustrate by many notable examples:

where we shall finde one amiable enough for a Consort; and too accomplish'd for a Prostitute, by him dis••valued, where she should be most honoured: disgraced, where she would be most approved. Nor can this unhappy man alledge any cause why he should not love her, but because he is tyed to love her; Which tye and title of wife does so vexe him, as she can devise no way to please him: yet is not her diligence any thing remitted; nor her desire to give con∣tent fore-slowed. Divided Beds can∣not distemper her: she hopes in time to win him to her, and waine him from those, who have aliened his minde from her. Nothing discontents her more than to be disconten∣ted: Whatsoever shall happen, she stands prepared.

O, but will some say, such a woman may be called rather a Picture than a Mirror! An Image made up of Rye-dow. One who is either so simple, as she knows not the quality of a wrong: or so sheepish, as shee dare not say her soule is her owne. And such are neither fit for Wives nor Mistresses. For as Fooles cannot at any time be troubled with mirth, because nothing that good is, can happen unto them: nor perplexd with griefe, because nothing that ill is, can seeme so unto them; beeing as incapable of the one, as insensible of the other: No more

can those apprehend the weight of an inju∣ry, either through weakenesse of spirit, or stupidity. Whereto I answer; that wee receive not here into the list of our Dis∣course any such Stoicall Apathists, who are insensible of passion: For such were strange Stocks to graffe on. Yea, the O••conomick well observes, that a Family through want of spirit in the Governesse, is no lesse dis∣ordered than by too much spirit dis∣quieted.

In a Legendary Story is mention made of such a Saintly Sufferer, which for the rarity of the relation I have here inserted.

There was sometimes One, who weary of the World, desired to waine himselfe from all secular cares,* 1.1 and betake himselfe to a religious privacy: so as, within short time hee was received into the Covent. Now it hapned one day, that this religious man walking alone in the Garden, seemed as One much discontented: which the Ab∣bot observing, came unto him, demanding the reason of his heavinesse: willing him to impart unto him the occasion of his griefe, as became an inferiour member of the Socie∣ty to d••e unto his Superiour.

Nothing, reverend Father, answer'd he, concerning my owne particular: nor doth it repent me to have enter'd into this Religious Order: For I finde more com∣fort

in one houre within these Wals, than ever I could in all those possessions I in∣joyed in the World. But I must tell you, Father, that I have one only sonne, which I left behind me, and very deare was hee unto me; now I am much perplext in mind about him: for I know not how the World may deale with him. Tender are his yeares, which addes to the measure and number of my cares. Nor am I so confident of their trust, to whom I re∣commended him, as to free me from that piou•• jealousy which I harbour in my breast touching him. Advise me then, deare Sir, what course were best to take, that my care may be setled: and his safety provided, on whom with equall hopes and feares the troubled thoughts of a fa∣ther are many times fixed.

Is this your cause of heavinesse, said the Abbot? To rid you from these cares, and increase your hope in his succeeding yeares, send him to me, and see what ef∣fect will come of it.

According to the Abbots direction, he causeth his sonne, who, indeed, was a daugh∣ter (which he dissembled for some reasons) to be sent for. Who, after some time of pro∣bation, was admitted to the Society. Now it chanced, that the daughter of an eminent Person, not farre distant from that Abbey,

was got with childe, and for some private respects to her selfe best knowne, desirous to conceale the true Father; layd the childe upon this supposed Brother (who was indeed a Sister.) This Saintly creature was so farre from defending her owne innocency, as she tooke unto it, as if she had beene the true father which begot it. The rumor hereof so highly incensed the Abbot; holding it to be a great scandall to his Society, to have any one under his charge, conscious of such impiety; as he straightly commanded that this adulterous person should be expulst the House: and to receive no reliefe, but such as common-Beggers were wont to have at the gate.

This Censure she receives with patience, without least discovery of her innocence: And though diverse of the Fraternity inter∣ceded the Abbot in her behalfe: acquain∣ting him with the piety of her fore-past life, with the patient suffering of whatsoever his Reverend authority had injoyned her: yet would not the Abbot relent, nor remitte any part of her punishment: nor ever be perswaded by all the meanes that could be made, to receive her againe into the Covent. Thus continued this simple innocent soule, free from that sinne, yet expos'd to all shame: relinquish'd by her selfe, because undefended: nor justifide by her father,

because he had vow'd that her Sexe should not by his meanes be discovered. Till at last, Death impos'd an end to her misery, and publish'd to all the World her inno∣cency.

The report whereof so highly perplexed the Abbot: as he with the whole Covent continued a long time sorrowing: not without admiration of her Patience: re∣commending her Memoriall to posterity for a recompence.

This example when you read, I ima∣gine, you will smile at; and say, this wench had a kinde heart that could so meekely suf∣fer for anothers offence: which argued in her, rather a senselesse stupid disposition, than any discreet Moderation of Passion. —And would you have us turne such young Saints, and in the end become Old Devils?

No; (though this unexemplary president might deserve more admiration than politi∣call approvement) we propose such whose Conceipts are apprehensive enough, to weigh the quality of a wrong; Spirits stout enough to revenge; and power enough to second that revenge: yet are en∣dued with so noble a temper, as they held it their highest honour, to expostulate the cause mildly; rather than with fire and faggot to menace a revenge, where they owe

an obedience: and ought to overcome ex∣tremities (so they be not above humane suf∣ferings) with patience.

Such an one as one of these, had that brave Colonell; who professed, that though he encounter'd with broyles a∣broad, he never found any brawlles at home: though he bicker'd with Stormes by Sea, he enjoyed a Calme still by Land. Not like that fierce Virago, who being married to a Souldier; ever used to wel∣come her Husband home with a powder; and being one day, in a more temperate mood, asked by him, why she used such liberty with her tongue, as after that man∣ner to entertaine him still with such hayle∣shot?

O, quoth she, I hold it good dis∣cretion, to inure you to what you must suffer: Seeing your cares are so well ac∣quainted with the noise of the Canon a∣broad, you may well enough endure a little haile-shot at home; Words breake no bones, husband; would to God, your Enemy would use you so.

That Syracusan Generall gave a strong testimony of his Wifes temper, when in a publicke meeting, he protested:

That he had in all his time found it farre more easy to discomfit a commanding Foe, or demolish the strongest Fort, than to over∣come his Wifes patience.

Albeit, there are many, whose dis∣creet and well-composed temper can suffer all injuries; imbrace poverty with a plea∣sant smile: receive any dis-respect from their Dearest with incredible patience: yet, when their owne Fame shall come to be questioned; they hold that too precious a prize, too high a stake to bee hazarded. This was that noble Roman Ladies resoluti∣on:

Let me suffer, quoth she, in the height of Fortunes Contempt; Let that ambiti∣ous One, whom I most maligne; receive those honours I should enjoy; imbrace that person whom I love best. Should I be enforc'd to begge reliefe from her hand, where I conceive the constantst hate: Should I encounter with all the extremi∣ties that adversity could lay upon mee: All these were nothing; so I may preserve that Fame untainted, which I have hither∣to preserved. Fortune can but take from us what is hers: it is our actions only, or others injurious obloquie can deprive us of what may be truly and properly styled ours.

No lesse absolute was she in the Com∣mand of her Passions; who being one day in private discourse with a Gentleman of excellent winning parts; and one whose glib tongue could winne ground upon least advantage: was demanded by him, how

she could brooke to heare her Husband to be such a generall Courter of fresh Mi∣stresses: and to boast of their Favours in her presence?

O, Sir, quoth she, all this is but to Court me with more formality when he comes to mee! I finde no faile in his love, why should I then distaste what he likes? If he had more serious imploy∣ments to bestow himselfe on, I little doubt but he would asmuch sleight the Cour∣ting of a Light Mistresse, as he now affects it for want of better imployment. If o∣thers bestow their Favours on him, and he reserve his best Favour for me; it were my weaknesse to suffer others respects to him, to beget a jealousy in me. I neither re∣teine that meane conceipt of my selfe, as to conceive the least thought of his Loving of any one better than me: nor have I any such opinion of his inconstancy; as to imagine him desirous to preferre any one in his esteeme before me.

Thus have you heard their excellent tem∣per in Moderation of Passion, with what in∣differency they could beare the braves of Fortune; with what innocency they could beare the weight of injuries. How their Fame was the only Touch-stone of their pa∣tience: which secured, nothing so extreame, which they have not with resolution en∣countered, and with constancy subdued.

Which mildnesse begets in them a neare resemblance with that well-dispose femi∣nine Monarchy of Bees;* 1.2 for as the Na∣turall Historian observes, that their King has no sting as other Bees have, reteyning such an offencelesse quality, as hee cannot sting any, sufficing himselfe with a Prin∣cely Clemency, to supply the place of Sove∣raignty: So these hold it power sufficient to have had the power to revenge: and by their inferiour Subjects to repell the inso∣lence of a bold intruder; holding it a dero∣gation to their honour, to become a personall revenger.

Certaine it is, that no vertue more enno∣bles a Rationall Soule than this Moderation of Passion: Nor deserve they either to ma∣nage any publique or private charge; who cannot restraine these insulting motions, which so miserably captivate the better part: as by giving way to appetite, man though he retaine the name, he loseth the nature & prime priviledge of man. He only, and none but he deserves to be honoured, who is with goodnesse endowed. For foot-cloath honour, it is but an Eye-object: it may exact of an humble Passenger a low Congy or Salute:* 1.3 but his Horse, for ought that I know, being so richly covered, deserves as much honour as he that rides on it. And no doubt with a little helpe of a Cynicks Lanthorne, it were

very easy in this Silken age to finde with Aristippus, Stones sitting on stones, and bar∣barous Asses riding on Barbary horses. But we have other Surveys to take in hand: be∣ing now to descend from their Moderation of Passion, to their Continency in assaults; e∣ven to Those, where they bore most loyall love and affection.

Notes

• * 1.1

  The like mor∣tification ap∣••eared in that Virgin Eugenia, during the ••ontificate of leut•• cri••••.
• * 1.2

  Rex Apum non ••abet aculeum ••um quo potest pungere sicut coeterae Apes. Plin.
• * 1.3

  Solusbonus est ••ono••and••s. Arist. 4. ••t••.