The decameron containing an hundred pleasant nouels. Wittily discoursed, betweene seauen honourable ladies, and three noble gentlemen.

Pedro di Vinciolo went to sup at a friends House in the City. His Wife (in the meane while) had a young man (whom shee loued) at supper with her. Pedro returning whom vpon a sudden, the young man was hidden vnder a Coope for Hennes. Pedro, in excuse of his so soone comming home, declareth, how in the House of Herculano (with whom he should haue supt) a friend of his Wiues was found, which was the reason of the Suppers breaking off. Pe∣droes Wife reprouing the errour of Hetculanoes Wife; an Asse (by chance) treads on the young mans fingers, that lay hidden vnder the Hen Coope. Vp∣pon his crying out, Pedro steppeth thither, sees him, knowes him, and findeth the fallacy of his Wife: with whom (neuerthelesse) he groweth to agreement, in regard of some imperfections in himselfe.

The tenth Nouell.

Reprehending the cunning shifts, of light headed and immodest Women, who, by abusing themselues, doe throw euill aspersions on all the Sexe.

[illustration]

THe Queenes Nouell being ended, and all the company applauding the happy fortune of Frederigo, as also the noble nature of Madam Giana: Dioneus, who neuer expected any command, prepairing to deliuer his discourse, began in this manner. I know not, whether I should terme it a vice accidental, and ensuing through the badnesse of complexions vp∣pon vs mortals; or else an errour in Nature, to ioy and smile rather at lewd accidents, then at deeds that iustly deserue commendation, especially, when they doe not any way concerne our selues. Now, in regard that all the paines I haue hitherto taken, and am also to vndergoe at this present, aymeth at no other end, but onely to purge your mindes of melancholly, and entertaine the time with mirthful matter: pardon me I pray you (faire Ladies) if my Tale trip in some part, and sauour a little of immodesty; yet

in hearing it, you may obserue the same course, as you doe in pleasing and delightfull Gardens, plucke a sweete Rose, and yet preserue your fin∣gers from pricking. Which very easily you may doe, wincking at the im∣perfections of a foolish man, and smiling at the amorous subtilties of his Wife, compassionating the misfortune of others, where vrgent necessity doth require it.

There dwelt (not long since) in Perugia, a wealthy man, named Pedro di Vinciolo, who perhaps) more to deceiue some other, and restraine an euill opinion, which the Perugians had conceiued of him, in matter no way be∣seeming a man, then any beauty or good feature remaining in the woman entred into the estate of marriage. And Fortune was so conforme to him in his election, that the woman whom he had made his wife, had a young, lusty, and well enabled body, a red hairde wench, hot and fiery spirited, standing more in neede of three Husbands, then he, who could not any way well content one Wife, because his minde ran more on his money, then those offices and duties belonging to wed-lock, which time acquain∣ting his Wife withall, contrary to her owne expectation, and those de∣lights which the estate of marriage afforded, knowing her selfe also to be of a sprightly disposition, and not to be easily tamed by houshold cares and attendances: shee waxed weary of her Husbands vnkind courses, vp∣braided him daily with harsh speeches, making his owne home meerely as a hell to him.

When shee saw that this domesticke disquietnesse returned her no be∣nefit, but rather tended to her owne consumption, then any amendment in her miserable Husband; shee began thus to conferre with her priuate thoughts. This Husband of mine liueth with me, as if he were no Hus∣band, or This Wife; the marriage bed, which should be a comfort to vs both, seemeth hatefull to him, and as little pleasing to me, because his minde is on his money, his head busied with worldly cogitations, and early and late in his counting-house, admitting no familiar conuersation with me. Why should not I be as respectlesse of him, as he declares him∣selfe to be of me? I tooke him for an Husband, brought him a good and sufficient dowry, thinking him to be a man, and affected a woman as a man ought to doe, else he had neuer beene any Husband of mine. If he be a Woman hater, why did he make choyce of me to be his Wife? If I had not intended to be of the World, I could haue coopt my selfe vp in a Cloyster, and shorne my selfe a Nunne, but that I was not borne to such seuerity of life. My youth shall be blasted with age, before I can truly vn∣derstand what youth is, and I shall be branded with the disgracefull word barrennesse, knowing my selfe meete and able to be a Mother, were my Husband but worthy the name of a Father, or expected issue and poste∣rity, to leaue our memoriall to after times in our race, as all our predeces∣sours formerly haue done, and for which mariage was chiefly instituted. Castles long besieged, doe yeeld at the last, and women wronged by their owne Husbands, can hardly warrant their owne frailty, especially liuing among so many temptations, which flesh and bloud are not alwayes able

to resist. Well, I meane to be aduised in this case, before I will hazard my honest reputation, either to suspition or scandall, then which, no wo∣man can haue two heauier enemies, and very few there are that can escape them.

Hauing thus a long while consulted with her selfe, and (perhaps) oftner then twice or thrice; shee became secretly acquainted with an aged wo∣man, generally reputed to be more then halfe a Saint, walking alwayes ve∣ry demurely in the streetes, counting (ouer and ouer) her Pater nosters, and all the Cities holy pardons hanging at her girdle, neuer talking of any thing, but the liues of the holy Fathers, or the wounds of Saint Frances, all the World admiring her sanctity of life, euen as if shee were diuinely inspired: this she Saint must be our distressed womans Councellour, and hauing found out a conuenient season, at large she imparted all her mind to her, in some such manner as formerly you haue heard, whereto shee returned this answere.

Now trust me Daughter, thy case is to be pittied, and so much the ra∣ther, because thou art in the floure and spring time of thy youth, when not a minute of time is to be left: for there is no greater an errour in this life, then the losse of time, because it cannot be recouered againe; and when the fiends themselues affright vs, yet if we keepe our embers still co∣uered with warme ashes on the hearth, they haue not any power to hurt vs. If any one can truly speake thereof, then I am able to deliuer true ••e∣stimony; for I know, but not without much perturbation of minde, and piercing afflictions in the spirit; how much time I lost without any profit. And yet I lost not all, for I would not haue thee thinke me to be so foolish, that I did altogether neglect such an especiall benefit; which when I call to minde, and consider now in what condition I am, thou must imagine, it is no smal hearts griefe to me, that age should make me vtterly despised, and no fire afforded to light my tinder.

With men it is not so, they are borne apt for a thousand occasions, as well for the present purpose we talke of, as infinite other beside; yea, and many of them are more esteemed being aged, then when they were yong. But women serue onely for mens contentation, and to bring children, and therefore are they generally beloued, which if they faile of, either it is by vnfortunate marriage, or some imperfection depending on nature, not through want of good will in themselues. We haue nothing in this world but what is giuen vs, in which regard, we are to make vse of our time, and employ it the better while we haue it. For, when we grow to be old, our Husbands, yea, our very dearest and nearest friends, will scarcely looke on vs. We are then fit for nothing, but to sit by the fire in the Kitchin, telling tales to the Cat, or counting the pots and pannes on the shelues. Nay, which is worse, rimes and songs is made of vs, euen in meere con∣tempt of our age, and commendation of such as are young, the daintiest morsels are fittest for them, and we referred to feed on the scrappes from their trenchers, or such reuersion as they can spare vs. I tell thee Daugh∣ter, thou couldst not make choyce of a meerer woman in all the City, to

whom thou mightest safely open thy minde, and knowes better to aduise thee then I doe. But remember withall, that I am poore, and it is your part not to suffer pouerty to be vnsupplyed. I will make thee partaker of all these blessed pardons, at euery Altar I will say a Pater noster, and an Aue Maria, that thou maist prosper in thy hearts desires, and be defended from foule sinne and shame, and so shee ended her Motherly counsell.

Within a while after, it came to passe, that her Husband was iniuited foorth to Supper, with one named Herculano, a kind friend of his, but his Wife refused to goe, because shee had appointed a friend to supper with her, to whom the old woman was employed as her messenger, and was well recompenced for her labour. This friend was a gallant proper youth, as any all Perugia yeelded, and scarcely was he seated at the Table, but her Husband was returned backe, and called to be let in at the doore. Which when shee perceiued, shee was almost halfe dead with feare, and coueting to hide the young man, that her Husband should not haue any sight of him, shee had no other meanes, but in an enrry, hard by the Parlour where they purposed to haue supt, stood a Coope or Hen pen, wherein she vsed to keepe her Pullen, vnder which he crept, and then shee couered it with an old empty sacke, and after ran to let her Husband come in. When he was entred into the House; as halfe offended at his so sudden returne, an∣gerly he saide: It seemes Sir you are a shauer at your meate, that you haue made so short a supper. In troth Wife (quoth he) I haue not supt at all, no, not so much as eaten one bit. How hapned that? said the woman. Ma∣ry wife (quoth he) I will tell you, and then thus he began.

As Herculano, his wife, and I were sitting downe at the Table, very neere vnto vs we heard one sneeze, whereof at the first we made no reckoning, vntill we heard it againe the second time, yea, a third, fourth, and fifth, and many more after, whereat we were not a little amazed. Now Wife I must tell you, before we entred the roome where we were to sup, Herculanoes wife kept the doore fast shut against vs, and would not let vs enter in an indifferent while; which made him then somewhat offended, but now much more, when he had heard one to sneeze so often. Demanding of her a reason for it, and who it was that thus sneezed in his House: he started from the Table, and stepping to a little doore neere the staires head, neces∣sarily there made, to set such things in, as otherwise would be troublesome to the roome, (as in all Houses we commonly see the like) he perceiued, that the party was hidden there, which wee had heard so often to sneeze before.

No sooner had he opened the doore, but such a smell of brimston came foorth (whereof we felt not the least sauour before) as made vs likewise to cough and sneeze, being no way able to refraine it. She seeing her Hus∣band to be much moued, excused the matter thus, that (but a little while before) shee had whited certaine linnen with the smoake of brimstone, as it is an vsuall thing to doe, and then set the pan into that spare place, be∣cause it should not be offensiue to vs. By this time, Herculano had espied him that sneezed, who being almost stifled with the smell, and closenesse

of the small roome wherein he lay, had not any power to helpe himselfe, but still continued coughing and sneezing, euen as if his heart would haue split in twaine. Foorth he pluckt him by the heeles, and perceiuing how matters had past, he saide to her. I thanke you Wife, now I see the rea∣son, why you kept vs so long from comming into this roome, let me die, if I beare this wrong at your hands. When his Wife heard these words, and saw the discouery of her shame; without returning either excuse or answere, foorth of doores she ran, but whither, we know not. Herculano drew his Dagger, and would haue slaine him that still lay sneezing: but I disswaded him from it, as well in respect of his, as also mine owne danger, when the Law should censure on the deede. And after the young man was indifferently recouered; by the perswasion of some Neighbours com∣ming in: he was closely conueyed out of the house, and all the noyse quietly pacified. Onely (by this meanes, and the flight of Herculanoes wife) we were disappointed of our Supper; and now you know the reason of my so soone returning.

When she had heard this whole discourse, then she perceiued, that o∣ther Women were subiect to the like infirmity, and as wise for themselues, as shee could be, though these and the like sinister accidents might some∣times crosse them, and gladly she wished, that Herculanoes Wifes excuse, might now serue to acquite her: but because in blaming others errors, our owne may sometime chance to escape discouery, and cleare vs, albeit we are as guilty; in a sharpe reprehending manner, thus she began. See Hus∣band, here is hansome behauiour, of an holy faire seeming, and Saint like woman, to whom I durst haue confest my sinnes, I conceiued such a reli∣gious perswasion of her liues integrity, free from the least scruple of taxa∣tion. A woman, so farre stept into yeeres, as shee is, to giue such an euill example to other younger women, is it not a sinne beyond all sufferance? Accursed be the houre, when she was borne into this World, and her selfe likewise, to be so lewdly and incontinently giuen; an vniuersall shame and slaunder, to all the good women of our City.

Shall I terme her a woman, or rather some sauage monster in a wo∣mans shape? Hath shee not made an open prostitution of her honesty broken her plighted faith to her Husband, and all the womanly reputati∣on shee had in this World? Her Husband, being an honourable Citizen, entreating her alwayes, as few men else in the City doe their wiues; what an heart-breake must this needes be to him, good man? Neither I, nor a∣ny honest man else, ought to haue any pity on her; but (with our owne hands) teare her in peeces, or dragge her along to a good fire in the mar∣ket place, wherein she and her minion should be consumed together, and their base ashes dispersed abroade in the winde, least the pure Aire should be infected with them.

Then, remembring her owne case, and her poore affrighted friend, who lay in such distresse vnder the Hen-coope; shee began to aduise her Hus∣band, that he would be pleased to goe to bed, because the night passed on apace. But Pedro, hauing a better will to eate, then to sleepe, desired her

to let him haue some meate, else hee must goe to bed with an empty bel∣lie; whereto shee answered. Why Husband (quoth shee) doe I make a∣ny large prouision, when I am debard of your company? I would I were the wife of Herculano, seeing you cannot content your selfe from one nights feeding, considering, it is now ouer-late to make any thing ready.

It fortuned, that certaine Husbandmen, which had the charge of Pe∣droes Farme house in the Countrey, and there followed his affaires of Husbandry, were returned home this instant night, hauing their Asses la∣den with such prouision, as was to be vsed in his City-house. When the Asses were vnladen, and set vp in a small Stable, without watering; one of them being (belike) more thirsty then the rest, brake loose, and wande∣ring all about smelling to seeke water, happened into the entry, where the young man lay hidden vnder the Hen-pen. Now, he being constrai∣ned (like a Carpe) to lie flat on his belly, because the Coope was ouer∣weighty for him to carry, and one of his hands more extended forth, then was requisite for him in so vrgent a shift: it was his hap (or ill fortune ra∣ther) that the Asse set his foote on the young mans fingers, treading so hard, and the paine being very irkesome to him, as he was enforced to cry out aloude, which Pedro hearing, he wondered thereat not a little.

Knowing that this cry was in his house, he tooke the candle in his hand, and going foorth of the Parlour, heard the cry to be louder and louder; because the Asse remoued not his foote, but rather trod the more firmely on his hand. Comming to the Coope, driuing thence the Asse, and ta∣king off the old sacke, he e••pyed the young man, who, beside the painfull anguish he felt of his fingers, arose vp trembling, as fearing some out∣rage beside to be offered him by Pedro, who knew the youth perfectly, and demanded of him, how he came thither. No answer did he make to that question, but humbly entreated (for charities sake) that he would not do•• him any harme. Feare not (quoth Pedro) I will not offer thee any vio∣lence: onely tel me how thou camest hither, and for what occasion; wher∣in the youth fully resolued him.

Pedro being no lesse ioyfull for thus finding him, then his wife was sor∣rowfull, tooke him by the hand, and brought him into the Parlour, where shee sate trembling and quaking, as not knowing what to say in this di∣stresse. Seating himselfe directly before her, and holding the youth still fast by the hand, thus he began. Oh Wife! what bitter speeches did you vse (euen now) against the wife of Herculano, maintaining that shee had shamed all other women, and iustly deserued to be burned? Why did you not say as much of your selfe? Or, if you had not the heart to speake it, how could you be so cruell against her, knowing your offence as great as hers? Questionlesse, nothing else vrged you thereto, but that all wo∣men are of one and the same condition, couering their owne grosse faults by farre inferiour infirmities in others. You are a peruerse generation, meerely false in your fairest shewes.

When she saw that he offered her no other violence, but gaue her such

vaunting and reproachfull speeches, holding still the young man before her face, meerely to vexe and despight her: shee began to take heart, and thus replied. Doest thou compare me with the wife of Herculano, who is an olde, discembling hypocrite? yet she can haue of him whatsoeuer she de∣sireth, and he vseth her as a woman ought to be, which fauour I could ne∣uer yet find at thy hands. Put the case, that thou keepest me in good gar∣ments, allowing me to goe neatly hosed and shod; yet well thou knowest, there are other meete matters belonging to a woman, and euery way as necessarily required, both for the preseruation of Houshold quietnesse, and those other rites betweene a Husband and Wife. Let me be worser garmented, courser dieted, yea, debarred of all pleasure and delights; so I might once be worthy the name of a Mother, and leaue some remem∣brance of woman-hood behind me. I tell thee plainly Pedro, I am a wo∣man as others are, and subiect to the same desires, as (by nature) attendeth on flesh and bloud: look how thou failest in kindnesse towards me, thinke it not amisse, if I doe the like to thee, and endeauour thou to win the wor∣thy tile of a Father, because I was made to be a Mother.

When Pedro perceiued, that his Wife had spoken nothing but reason, in regard of his ouer-much neglect towards her, and not vsing such hou∣shold kindnesse, as ought to be between Man and Wife, he returned her this answer. Well Wife (quoth he) I confesse my fault, and hereafter will labour to amend it; conditionally, that this youth, nor any other, may no more visite my House in mine absence. Get me therefore something to eate, for doubtlesse, this young man and thy selfe fell short of your sup∣per, by reason of my so soone returning home. In troth Husband, saide shee, we did not eate one bit of any thing, and I will be a true and loyall Wife to thee, so thou wilt be the like to me. No more words then wife, replyed Pedro, all is forgotten and forgiuen, let vs to supper, and we are all friends. She seeing his anger was so well appeased, louingly kissed him, and laying the cloth, set on the supper, which shee had prouided for her selfe & the youth, and so they supt together merily, not one vnkind word passing betweene them. After supper, the youth was sent away in friendly manner, and Pedro was alwayes afterward more louing to his Wife, then formerly he had been, and no complaint passed on either side, but mutuall ioy and houshold contentment, such as ought to be betweene man and wife.

Dioneus hauing ended his Tale, for which the Ladies returned him no thankes, but rather angerly frowned on him: the Queene, knowing that her gouernment was now concluded, arose, and taking off her Crowne of Lawrell, placed it graciously on the head of Madam Eliza, saying. Now Madam, it is your turne to command. Eliza hauing receiued the honour, did (in all respects) as others formerly had done, and after she had enstru∣cted the Master of the Houshold, concerning his charge during the time of her regiment, for contentation of all the company; thus she spake.

We haue long since heard, that with witty words, ready answers, and sudden iests or taunts, many haue checkt & reproued great folly in others,

and to their owne no meane commendation. Now, because it is a plea∣sing kind of argument, ministring occasion of mirth and wit: my desire is, that all our discourse to morrow shall tend thereto. I meane of such per∣sons, either Men or Women, who with some sudden witty answer, haue encountred a scorner in his owne intention, and layed the blame where it iustly belonged. Euery one commended the Queenes appointment, be∣cause it sauoured of good wit and iudgement; and the Queene being ri∣sen, they were all discharged till supper time, falling to such seuerall exerci∣ses as themselues best fancyed.

When supper was ended, and the instruments layed before them; by the Queenes consent, Madam Aemillia vndertooke the daunce, and the Song was appointed to Dioneus, who began many, but none that proued to any liking, they were so palpably obscene and idle, sauouring altoge∣ther of his owne wanton disposition. At the length, the Queene looking stearnely on him, and commanding him to sing a good one, or none at all; thus he began.

The Song.

EYes, can ye not refraine your hourely weeping? Eares, how are you depriude of sweete attention? Thoughts, haue you lost your quiet silent sleeping? Wit, who hath robde thee of thy rare inuention? The lacke of these, being life and motion giuing: Are sencelesse shapes, and no true signes of liuing.

Eyes, when you gazde vpon her Angell beauty; Eares, while you heard her sweete delicious straines, Thoughts (sleeping then) did yet performe their duty, Wit, then tooke springtly pleasure in his paines. While shee did liue, then none of these were scanting, But now (being dead) they all are gone and wanting.

After that Dioneus (by proceeding no further) declared the finishing of his Song; many more were sung beside, and that of Dioneus highly com∣mended. Some part of the night being spent in other delightfull exer∣cises, and a fitting houre for rest drawing on: they betooke themselues to their Chambers, where we will leaue them till to morrow morning.