The Eight Nouell.

IT was a generall opinion in the whole Iouiall Companie, that whatsoeuer Talano saw in his sleepe, was not anie dreame, but rather a vision: considering, euery part there∣of fell out so directly, without the lest failing. But when silence was enioyned, then the Queene gaue forth by euident demonstration, that Madam Lauretta was next to succeed, whereupon she thus be∣gan. As all they (iudicious hearers) which haue this day spoken be∣fore me, deriued the ground or proiect of their Nouels, from some other argument spoken of before: euen so, the cruell reuendge of the Scholler, yesterday discoursed at large by Madame Pampinea, maketh me to remember another Tale of like nature, some-what greeuous to the sufferer, yet not in such cruell measure inflicted, as that on Madam Helena.

There dwelt sometime in Florence, one who was generally called by the name of Guiotto, a man being the greatest Gourmand, and Page  129 grossest feeder, as euer was seene in any Countrey, all his meanes & procurements meerly vnable to maintaine expences for filling his belly. But otherwise he was of sufficient and commendable carri∣age, fairely demea•ed, and well discoursing on any argument: yet, not as a curious and spruce Courtier, but rather a frequenter of rich mens Tables, where choice of good cheere is sildome wanting, & such should haue his company, albeit not inuited, yet (like a bold intruder) he had the courage to bid himselfe welcome.

At the same time, and in our City of Florence also, there was ano∣ther man, named Blondello, very low of stature, yet comly formed, quicke witted, more neat and brisk then a Butter flye, alwaies wea∣ring a wrought silke cap on his head, and not a haire staring out of order, but the tuft flourishing aboue the forehead, and he such ano∣ther trencher-fly for the table, as our forenamed Guiotto was. It so fel out on a morning in the Lent time, that hee went into the Fish∣market, where he bought two goodly Lampreyes, for Messer Viero de Cherchi, and was espied by Guiotto, who (comming to Blondello) said. What is the meaning of this cost, and for whom is it? Where∣to Blondello thus answered. Yesternight, three other Lampries, far fairer and fatter then these, and a whole Sturgeon, were sent vnto Messer Corso Donati, and being not sufficient to feede diuers Gentle∣men, whom hee hath inuited this day to dine with him, hee caused me to buy these two beside: Doest not thou intend to make one a∣mong them? Yes I warrant thee, replied Guiotto, thou knowst I can inuite my selfe thither, without any other bidding.

So parting; about the houre of dinner time, Guiotto went to the house of the saide Messer Corso, whom he found sitting and talking with certain of his neighbors, but dinner was not (as yet) ready, nei∣ther were they come thither to dinner. Messer Corso demaunded of Guiotto, what newes with him, and whither he went? Why Sir (said Guiotto) I come to dine with you, and your good company. Wher∣to Messer Corso answered, That he was welcom, & his other friends being gone, dinner was serued in, none els therat present but Messer Corso and Guiotto: al the diet being a poore dish of Pease, a litle piece of Tunny, & a few smal fishes fried, without any other dishes to fol∣low after. Guiotto seeing no better fare, but being disapointed of his expectation, as longing to feed on the Lampries and Sturgeon, and so to haue made a ful dinner indeed was of a quick apprehension, & apparantly perceiued, that Blondello had meerly guld him in a kna∣uery, which did not a litle vex him, and made him vow to be reuen∣ged on Blondello, as he could compasse occasion afterward.

Before many daies were past, it was his fortune to meete with Blondello, who hauing told this iest to diuers of his friends, and much Page  [unnumbered] good merriment made thereat: he saluted Guiotto in ceremonious manner, saying. How didst thou like the fat Lampreyes and Stur∣geon, which thou fedst on at the house of Messer Corso Donati? Wel Sir (answered Guiotto) perhaps before eight dayes passe ouer my head, thou shalt meet with as pleasing a dinner as I did. So, parting away from Blondello, he met with a Porter or burthen-bearer, such as are vsually sent on errands; and hyring him to deliuer a message for him, gaue him a glasse bottle, and bringing him neere to the Hal∣house of Cauicciuli, shewed him there a knight, called Signior Phil∣lipo Argenti, a man of huge stature, stout, strong, vainglorious, fierce and sooner mooued to anger then any other man. To him (quoth Guiotto) thou must go with this bottle in thy hand, and say thus to him. Sir, Blondello sent me to you, and courteously entreateth you, that you would enrubinate this glasse bottle with your best Claret Wine; because he would make merry with a few friends of his. But beware he lay no hand on thee, because he may bee easily induced to misuse thee, and so my businesse be disappointed. Well Sir repli∣ed the Porter, shal I say any thing else vnto him? No (quoth Guiot∣to) only go and deliuer this message, and when thou art returned, Ile pay thee for thy paines.

The Porter being gone to the house, deliuered his message to the knight, who being a man of no great ciuill breeding; but furious, rash, and inconsiderate: presently conceiued, that Blondello (whom he knew well enough) sent this message in meere mockage of him, and starting vp with fiery lookes, said: What enrubination of Cla∣ret should I send him? and what haue I to do with him, or his drun∣ken friends? Let him and thee go hang your selues together. So he stept to catch hold on the Porter, but he (being well warnd before) was quicke and nimble, and escaping from him, returned backe to Guiotto (who obserued all) and told him the answer of Signior Phil∣lippo. Guiotto not a little contented, paied the Porter, and taried not in any place til he met with Blondello, to whom he said. When wast thou at the Hall of Cauicciuli? Not a long while, answered Blundel∣lo, but why dost thou demand such a question? Because (quoth Gui∣otto) Signior Phillippo hath sought about for thee, yet knowe not I what he would haue with thee. Is it so? replied Blondello, then I wil walke thither presently, to vnderstand his pleasure.

When Blondello was thus parted from him, Guiotto folowed not farre off behind him, to behold the issue of this angry businesse; and Signior Phillippo, because he could not catch the Porter, continued much distempred, fretting and fuming, in regard he could not com∣prehend the meaning of the Porters message: but onely surmized, that Blondello (by the procurement of some body else) had done this Page  130 in scorne of him. While he remained thus deeply discontented, he espied Blondello comming towards him, and meeting him by the way, he stept close to him, and gaue him a cruell blow on the face, causing his nose to fall out a bleeding. Alas Sir, said Blondello, where∣fore do you strike me? Signior Phillippo, catching him by the haire of the head, trampled his wrought night-cap in the dirt, & his cloke also; when, laying many violent blowes on him, he said. Villanous Traitor as thou art, Ile teach thee what it is to enrubinate with Cla∣ret, either thy selfe, or any of thy cupping companions: Am I a child, to be iested withall?

Nor was he more furious in words, then in strokes also, beating him about the face, hardly leauing any haire on his head, and drag∣ging him along in the mire, spoyling all his garments, and he not a∣ble (from the first blow giuen) to speake a word in defence of him∣selfe. In the end, Signior Phillippo hauing extreamly beaten him, and many people gathering about them, to succour a man so much misused, the matter was at large related, and manner of the message sending. For which, they all present, did greatly reprehend Blondel∣lo, considering he knew what kinde of man Phillippo was, not any way to be iested withall. Blondello in teares constantly maintained, that he neuer sent any such message for wine, or intended it in the least degree: so, when the tempest was more mildly calmed, and Blondello (thus cruelly beaten and durtied) had gotten home to his owne house, he could then remember, that (questionles) this vvas occasioned by Guiotto.

After some few dayes were passed ouer, and the hurts in his face indifferently cured; Blondello beginning to walke abroade againe, chanced to meet with Guiotto: who laughing heartily at him, sayde. Tell me Blondello, how doost thou like the enrubinating Clarret of Signior Phillippo? As well (quoth Blondello) as thou didst the Stur∣geon and Lampreyes at Messer Corso Donaties. Why rhen (sayde Guiotto, let these two tokens continue familiar betweene thee and me, when thou wouldst bestow such another dinner on mee, then wil I enrubinate thy nose with a bottle of the same Claret. But Blon∣dello perceiued (to his cost) that hee had met with the worser bar∣gaine, and Guiotto got cheare, without any blowes: and therefore desired a peacefull attonement, each of them (alwayes after) ab∣staining from flouting one another.