The decameron containing an hundred pleasant nouels. Wittily discoursed, betweene seauen honourable ladies, and three noble gentlemen.

Calandrino, Bruno, and Buffalmaco, all of them being Painters by profession, trauelled to the Plaine of Mugnone, to finde the preciou•• Stone called Helitropium. Calandrino perswaded himselfe to haue found it; returned home to his house heauily loaden with stones. His Wife rebuking him for his absence, hee groweth into anger, and shrewdly beateth her. Afterward, when the case is de∣bated among his other friends Bruno and Buffalmaco, all is found to be meere foolery.

The Third Nouell.

Iustly reprehending, the simplicity of such men, as are too much ad∣dicted to credulitie, and will giue credit to euery thing they heare.

[illustration]

PAmphilus hauing ended his Nouell, whereat the Ladies laughed exceedingly, so that very hardly they could giue ouer: The Queene gaue charge to Madame Eliza, that shee should next succeed in order; when, being scarcely able to re∣fraine from smyling, thus she began.

I know not (Gracious Ladies) whether I can moue you to at hear∣ty laughter, with a briefe Nouell of mine owne, as Pamphilus lately did with his: yet I dare assure you, that it is both true and pleasant, and I will relate it in the best manner I can.

In our owne Citie, which euermore hath contained all sorts of peo∣ple, not long since there dwelt, a Painter, named Calandrino, a simple man; yet as much adicted to matters of nouelty, as any man whatsoeuer could be. The most part of his time, he spent in the company of two other Painters, the one called Bruno, and the other Buffalmaco, men of very recreatiue spirits, and of indifferent good capacity, often resorting to the said Calandrino, because they tooke delight in his honest simplici∣ty, and pleasant order of behauiour. At the same time likewise, there dwelt in Florence, a yong Gentleman of singular disposition, to euery generous and witty conceite, as the world did not yeeld a more pleasant companion, he being named Maso del Saggio, who hauing heard som∣what of Calandrinos sillinesse: determined to iest with him in merry manner, and to suggest his longing humors after Nouelties, with some conceit of extraordinary nature.

He happening (on a day) to meete him in the Church of Saint Iohn, and seeing him seriously busied, in beholding the rare pictures, and the curious carued Tabernacle, which (not long before) was placed on the high Altar in the said Church: considered with him∣selfe, that he had now fit place and opportunity, to effect what hee had long time desired. And hauing imparted his minde to a very intimate friend, how he intended to deale with simple Calandrino: they went both very neere him, where he sate all alone, and making shew as if they saw him not; began to consult between themselues, concerning the rare properties of precious stones; whereof Maso discoursed as exactly, as he had beene a most skilfull Lapidarie; to which conference of theirs, Calandrino lent an attentiue eare, in re∣gard it was matter of singular rarity.

Soone after, Calandrino started vp, and perceiuing by their loude speaking, that they talked of nothing which required secret Coun∣sell: he went into their company (the onely thing which Maso de∣sired) and holding on still the former Argument; Calandrino would needs request to know, in what place these precious stones were to be found, which had such excellent vertues in them? Maso made answere, that the most of them were to be had in Berlinzona, neere to the City of Bascha, which was in the Territory of a Countrey, called Bengodi, where the Vines were bound about with S••••••cid∣ges, a Goose was sold for a penny, and the Goslings freely giuen in to boote. There was also an high mountaine, wholly made of Par∣mezane, grated Cheese, whereon dwelt people, who did nothing else but make Mocharones and Rauiuolies, boyling them with broth of Capons, and afterward hurled them all about, to whosoeuer can or will catch them. Neere to this mountaine runneth a faire Riuer, the whole streame being pure white Bastard, none such was euer sold for any money, and without one drop of water in it.

Now trust me Sir, (said Calandrino) that is an excellent Countrey to dwell in: but I pray you tell me Sir, what doe they with the Capons after they haue boyld them? The Baschanes (quoth Maso) eate them all. Haue you Sir, said Calandrino, at any time beene in that Coun∣trey? How? answered Maso, doe you demaund if I haue beene there? Yes man, aboue a thousand times, at the least. How farre Sir, I pray you (quoth Calandrino) is that worthy Countrey, from this our City? In troth, replyed Maso, the miles are hardly to be numbred, for the most part of them, vve trauell vvhen vve are nightly in our beddes, and if a man dreame right; he may be there vpon a sudden.

Surely Sir, said Calandrino, it is further hence, then to Abruzzi? Yes questionlesse, replyed Maso; but, to a vvilling minde, no trauell seemeth tedious.

Calandrino well noting, that Maso deliuered all these speeches, with a stedfast countenance, no signe of smyling, or any gesture to vrge the least mislike: he gaue such credit to them, as to any matter of apparent and manifest truth, and vpon this assured confidence, he said.

Beleeue me Sir, the iourney is ouer-farre for mee to vndertake, but if it vvere neerer; I could affoord to goe in your Company; onely to see hovv they make these Macherones, and to fill my belly vvith them.

But now wee are in talke Sir, I pray you pardon mee to aske, whe∣ther any such precious stones, as you spake off, are to be found in that Countrey, or no? Yes indeed, replyed Maso, there are two kinds of them to be found in those Territories, both being of very great vertue. One kind, are gritty stones, of Settignano, and of Montisca, by vertue of which places, when any Mill-stones or Grind-stones are to bee made, they knede the sand as they vse to doe meale, and so make them of what bignesse they please. In which respect, they haue a common saying there: that Nature maketh common stones, but Montisca Mill-stones. Such plenty are there of these Mill-stones, so slenderly here esteemed a∣mong vs, as Emeralds are with them, whereof they haue whole moun∣taines, farre greater then our Montemorello, which shine most glori∣ously at midnight. And how meanly soeuer we account of their Mill-stones; yet there they drill them, and enchase them in Rings, which af∣terward they send to the great Soldane, and haue whatsoeuer they will demaund for them.

The other kinde is a most precious Stone indeede, which our best La∣pidaries call the Helitropium, the vertue whereof is so admirable; as whosoeuer beareth it about him, so long as he keepeth it, it is impossi∣ble for any eye to discerne him, because he walketh meerely inuisible. O Lord Sir (quoth Calandrino) those stones are of rare vertue indeede: but where else may a man finde that Helitropium? Whereto Maso

thus answered: That Countrey onely doth not containe the Helitro∣pium; for they be many times found vpon our plaine of Mugnone. Of what bignesse Sir (quoth Calandrino) is the Stone, and what cou∣lour? The Helitropium, answered Maso, is not alwayes of one quali∣ty, because some are bigge, and others lesse; but all are of one coulour, namely blacke.

Calandrino committing all these things to respectiue memory, and pretending to be called thence by some other especiall affaires; departed from Maso, concluding resoluedly with himselfe, to finde this precious stone, if possibly hee could: yet intending to doe no∣thing, vntill hee had acquainted Bruno and Buffalmaco therewith, whom he loued dearly: he went in all hast to seeke them; because, (without any longer trifling the time) they three might bee the first men, that should find out this precious stone, spending almost the whole morning, before they were all three met together. For they were painting at the Monastery of the Sisters of Faenza, where they had very serious imployment, and followed their businesse dili∣gently: where hauing found them, and saluting them in such kinde manner, as continually he vsed to doe, thus he began.

Louing friends, if you were pleased to follow mine aduise, wee three will quickely be the richest men in Florence; because, by information from a Gentleman (well deseruing to be credited) on the Plaine of Mugnone: there is a precious stone to be found, which whosoeuer car∣rieth it about him, walketh inuisible, and is not to be seene by any one. Let vs three be the first men to goe and finde it, before any other heare thereof, and goe about it, and assure our selues that we shall finde it, for I know it (by discription) so soone as I see it. And when wee haue it, who can hinder vs from bearing it about vs. Then will we goe to the Tables of our Bankers, or money Changers, which we see daily charged with plenty of gold and siluer, where we may take so much as wee list, for they (nor any) are able to descrie vs. So, (in short time) shall wee all be wealthy, neuer needing to drudge any more, or paint muddy walles, as hitherto we haue done; and, as many of our poore profession are forced to doe.

Bruno and Buffalmaco hearing this, began to smile, and looking merily each on other, they seemed to wonder thereat, and greatly commended the counsell of Calandrino. Buffalmaco demaunding how the stone was named. Now it fortuned, that Calandrino (who had but a grosse and blockish memory) had quite forgot the name of the stone, and therefore said. What neede haue wee of the name, when we know, and are assured of the stones vertue? Let vs make no more adoe, but (setting aside all other businesse) goe seeke where it is to be found. Well my friend (answered Bruno) you say wee may finde it, but how, and by what meanes?

There are two sorts of them (quoth Calandrino) some bigge, others smaller, but all carry a blacke colour: therefore (in mine opinion) let vs gather all such stones as are blacke, so shall we be sure to finde it a∣mong them, without any further losse of time.

Buffalmaco aud Bruno, liked and allowed the counsell of Calandri∣no, which when they had (by seuerall commendations) giuen him assurance of, Bruno saide. I doe not thinke it a conuenient time now, for vs to go about so weighty a businesse: for the Sun is yet in the high∣est degree, and striketh such a heate on the plaine of Mugnone, as all the stones are extreamly dryed, and the very blackest will nowe seeme whitest. But in the morning, after the dew is falne, and before the Sunne shineth forth, euery stone retaineth his true colour. Moreouer, there be many Labourers now vvorking on the plaine, about such bu∣sinesse as they are seuerally assigned, who seeing vs in so serious a serch: may imagine what we seeke for, & partake with vs in the same inqui∣sition, by which meanes they may chance to speed before vs, and so wee may lose both our trot and amble. Wherefore, by my consent, if your opinion iumpe with mine, this is an enterprize onely to be perfourmed in an early morning, when the blacke stones are to be distinguisht from the white, and a Festiuall day were the best of all other, for then there will be none to discouer vs.

Buffalmaco applauded the aduice of Bruno, and Calandrino did no lesse, concluding all together; that Sunday morning (next ensu∣ing) should be the time, and then they all three would go seeke the Stone. But Calandrino was verie earnest with them, that they shold not reueale it to any liuing body, because it was tolde him as an es∣peciall secret: disclosing further to them, what hee had heard con∣cerning the Countrey of Bengodi, maintaining (with solemn oaths and protestations) that euery part thereof was true. Vppon this a∣greement, they parted from Calandrino, who hardly enioyed anie rest at all, either by night or day, so greedie he was to bee possessed of the stone. On the Sonday morning, hee called vp his Compani∣ons before breake of day, and going forth at S. Galls Port, they stay∣ed not, till they came to the plaine of Mugnone, where they search∣ed all about to finde this strange stone.

Calandrino went stealing before the other two, and verilie per∣swaded himselfe, that he was borne to finde the Helitropium, and looking on euery side about him, hee reiected all other Stones but the blacke, whereof first he filled his bosome, and afterwards, both his Pockets. Then he tooke off his large painting Apron, which he fastened with his girdle in the manner of a sacke, and that he fil∣led full of stones likewise. Yet not so satisfied, he spred abroad his Cloake, which being also full of stones, hee bound it vp carefully, for feare of loosing the very least of them. All which Buffalma∣ca

and Bruno well obseruing (the day growing on, and hardly they could reach home by dinner time) according as merrily they had concluded, and pretending not to see Calandrino, albeit he was not farre from them: What is become of Calandrino? saide Buffalmaco. Bruno gazing strangely euery where about him, as if hee were desi∣rous to finde him, replyed. I saw him not long since, for then he was hard by before vs; questionlesse, he hath giuen vs the slippe, is priuilie gone home to dinner, and making starke fooles of vs, hath lefte vs to picke vp blackè stones, vpon the parching plaines of Mugnone. Well (quoth Buffalmaco) this is but the tricke of an hollow-hearted friend, and not such as he protested himselfe to be, to vs. Could any but vvee haue bin so sottish, to credit his friuolous perswasions, hoping to finde a∣ny stones of such vertue, and here on the fruitlesse plains of Mugnone? No, no, none but we would haue beleeued him.

Calandrino (who was close by them) hearing these wordes, and seeing the whole manner of their wondering behauiour: became constantly perswaded, that hee had not onely founde the precious stone; but also had some store of them about him, by reason he was so neere to them, and yet they could not see him, therefore he wal∣ked before them. Now was his ioy beyond all compasse of expres∣sion, and being exceedingly proud of so happy an aduenture: did not meane to speake one word to them, but (heauily laden as hee was) to steale home faire and softly before them, which indeede he did, leauing them to follow after, if they would. Bruno perceiuing his intent, said to Buffalmaco: What remaineth now for vs to doe? Why should not we go home, as well as hee? And reason too, replyed Bruno, It is in vaine to tarry any longer heere: but I solemnly protest, Calandrino shall no more make an Asse of me: and were I now as neere him, as not long since I was, I would giue him such a remembrance on the heele with this Flint stone, as should sticke by him this moneth, to teach him a lesson for abusing his friends.

Hee threw the stone, and hit him shrewdly on the heele there∣with; but all was one to Calandrino, whatsoeuer they saide, or did, as thus they still followed after him. And although the blow of the stone was painfull to him; yet he mended his pace so wel as he was able, in regard of beeing ouer-loaden with stones, and gaue them not one word all the way, because he tooke himselfe to bee inuisi∣ble, and vtterly vnseene of them. Buffalmaco taking vppe another Flint-stone, which was indifferent heauie and sharp, said to Bruno. Seest thou this Flint? Casting it from him, he smote Calandrino iust in the backe therewith, saying. Oh that Calandrino had bin so neere, as I might haue hit him on the backe with the stone. And thus all the way on the plaine of Mugnone, they did nothing else but pelt him with stones, euen so farre as the Port of S. Gall, where they threwe

downe what other stones they had gathered, meaning not to molest him any more, because they had done enough already.

There they stept before him vnto the Port, and acquainted the Warders with the whole matter, who laughing heartily at the iest, the better to vpholde it; would seeme not to see Calandrino in his passage by them, but suffered him to go on, sore wearied with his burthen, and sweating extreamly. Without resting himselfe in a∣ny place, he came home to his house, which was neere to the cor∣ner of the Milles, Fortune being so fauourable to him in the course of this mockery, that as he passed along the Riuers side, and after∣ward through part of the City; he was neither met nor seen by any, in regard they were all in their houses at dinner.

Calandrino, euery minute ready to sinke vnder his weightie bur∣then, entred into his owne house, where (by great ill luck) his wife, being a comely and very honest woman, and named Monna Trista, was standing aloft on the stayres head. She being somewhat angry for his so long absence, and seeing him come in grunting and groa∣ning, frowningly said. I thought that the diuell would neuer let thee come home, all the whole Citie haue dined, and yet wee must remaine without our dinner, When Calandrino heard this, & perceiued that he was not inuisible to his Wife: full of rage and wroth, hee began to raile, saying. Ah thou wicked Woman, where art thou? Thou hast vtterly vndone me: but (as I liue) I will pay thee soundly for it. Vp the staires he ascended into a small Parlour, where when he hadde spred all his burthen of stones on the floore: he ran to his wife, cat∣ching her by the h••••re of the head, and throwing her at his feete; giuing her so many spurns and cruel blowes, as shee was not able to mooue either armes or legges, notwithstanding all her teares, and humble submission.

Now Buffalmaco and Bruno, after they had spent an indifferent while, with the Warders at the Port in laughter, in a faire & gentle pace, they followed Calandrino home to his house, and being come to the doore, they heard the harsh bickering betweene him and his Wife, and seeming as if they were but newly arriued, they called out alowd to him. Calandrino being in a sweate, st••••ping and ra∣uing still at his Wife: looking forth of the window, entreated them to ascend vp to him, which they did, counter••etting greeuous dis∣pleasure against him. Being come into the roome, which they saw all couered ouer with stones, his Wife sitting in a corner, all the haire (well-neere) torne off her head, her face broken and blee••ing, and all her body cruelly beaten; on the other side, Calandrino stan∣ding vnbraced and vngirded, strugling and wallowing, like a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 quite our of breath: after a little pausing, Bruno th•••• spake.

Why how now Calandrino? What may the m••••••ing of this matter

be? What, art thou preparing for building, that thou hast prouided such plenty of stones? How sitteth thy poore wife? How hast thou mis∣vsed her? Are these the behauiours of a wise or honest man? Calan∣drino, vtterly ouer-spent with trauaile, and carrying such an huge burthen of stones, as also the toylesome beating of his Wife, (but much more impatient and offended, for that high good Fortune, which he imagined to haue lost:) could not collect his spirits toge∣ther, to answer them one ready word, wherefore hee sate fretting like a mad man. Whereupon, Buffalmaco thus began to him. Ca∣landrino, if thou be angry with any other, yet thou shouldest not haue made such a mockery of vs, as thou hast done: in leauing vs (like a cou∣ple of coxcombes) to the plaine of Mugnone, whether thou leddest vs with thee, to seeke a precious stone called Helitropium. And couldst thou steale home, neuer bidding vs so much as farewell? How can vve but take it in very euill part, that thou shouldest so abuse two honest neighbours? Well, assure thy selfe, this is the last time that euer thou shalt serue vs so.

Calandrino (by this time) being somewhat better come to him∣selfe, with an humble protestation of courtesie, returned them this answer. Alas my good frionds, be not you offended, the case is farre o∣therwise then you immagine. Poore vnfortunate man that I am, I found the rare precious stone that you speake of: and marke me well, if I do not tell you the truth of all. When you asked one another (the first time) what was become of me; I was hard by you: at the most, vvithin the distance of two yards length; and perceiuing that you saw mee not, (being still so neere, and alwaies before you:) I w••••t on, smiling to my selfe, to heare you brabble and rage against me.

So, proceeding on in his discourse, he recounted euery accident as it hapned, both what they had saide and did vnto him, concer∣ning the seuerall blowes, with the two Flint-stones, the one hur∣ting him greeuously in the heele, and the other paining him as ex∣treamly in the backe, with their speeches vsed then, and his laugh∣ter, notwithstanding hee felt the harme of them both, yet beeing proud that he did so inuisibly beguile them. Nay more (quoth he) I cannot forbeare to tell you, that when I passed thorow the Port, I saw you standing with the Warders; yet, by vertue of that excellent Stone, vndiscouered of you all. Beside, going along the streets, I met many of my Gossips, friends, and familiar acquaintance, such as vsed day lie to conuerse with me, and drinking together in euery Tauern: yet not one of them spake to me, neyther vsed any courtesie or salutation; vvhich (indeede) I did the more freely forgiue them, because they were not a∣ble to see me.

In the end of all, when I was come home into mine owne house, this diuellish and accursed Woman, being aloft vppon my stayres head, by

much misfortune chanced to see me; in regard (as it is not vnknowne to you) that women cause all things to lose their vertue. In which re∣spect, I that could haue stild my selfe the onely happy man in Florence, am now made most miserable. And therefore did I iustly beate her, so long as she was able to stand against mee, and I know no reason to the contrary, why I should not yet teare her in a thousand peeces▪ for I may well curse the day of our mariage, to hinder and bereaue me of such an inuisible blessednesse.

Buffalmaco and Bruno hearing this, made shew of verie much meruailing thereat, and many times maintained what Calandrino had said; being well neere ready to burst with laughter; conside∣ring, how cōfidently he stood vpon it, that he had found the won∣derful stone, and lost it by his wiues speaking onely to him. But when they saw him rise in fury once more, with intent to beat her againe: then they stept betweene them; affirming, That the woman had no way offended in this case, but rather he himself: who knowing that women cause all things to lose their vertue, had not therefore ex∣presly commanded her, not to be seene in his presence all that day, vn∣till he had made full proofe of the stones vertue. And questionles, the consideration of a matter so auaileable and important, was quite ta∣ken from him, because such an especiall happinesse, should not belong to him only; but (in part) to his friends, whom he had acquainted there∣with, drew them to the plaine vvith him in companie, vvhere they tooke as much paines in serch of the stone, as possibly he did, or could; and yet (dishonestly) he would deceiue them, and beare it away coue∣tously, for his owne priuate benefit.

After many other, as wise and wholesome perswasions, which he constantly credited, because they spake them, they reconciled him to his wife, and she to him: but not without some difficulty in him; who falling into wonderfull greefe and melancholy, for losse of such an admirable precious stone, was in danger to haue dyed, within lesse then a month after.