CHAP. VI.

IT is a knowne and naturall truth; That those that are yong, are very short-sighted in your choyser sort of things, which require grauity, and carry any weight with them: Not for any defect of vnderstanding, but for want of Wisedome, which requireth experience; and that experience, Time. As * your greene fruit, that is not come to it's ripenesse, hath not any perfect rellish, but is tart, and sowre; so a young man, before he come to his maturitie, lacks his true taste, and failes in the speculation of things, and comes short of the true knowledge of them. And therefore, it is no wonder if he erre; but 'twere rather a wonder, if he should not erre. Notwithstand∣ing, * he that hath good naturall parts, is commonly more capable of these con∣siderations, and readier to receiue the impression of them.

This I know by my selfe; for many times, the greatnesse of my Spirit did transport me farre beyond that which sorted with my yeeres; setting (as the Eagle doth with her young ones) my eyes fully fixt against the Sun of Truth; considering with my selfe, that all my cunning tricks, and sundry manner of deceiuings, was but a kinde of coozening my selfe, by seeking to rob him, that was truely poore and in need, maymed, and not able to worke, to whom those Almes did of right belong. For the poore man indeed neuer deceiueth, nor can he so doe, though it be his end so to doe. For he that giueth, regardeth * not to whom he giueth; and he that beggeth, is that Quayle-pipe or whistle, that cals those Birds vnto him, whilest he sits securely on his perch. The Beg∣ger, with the Call and cry of his lamentations, receiueth the Almes, which he conuerteth to his profit, taking God in his mouth, whereby he makes him the debtor, binding him to repay it. On the one side I was glad, when they gaue me any thing; On the other side, I did quake and tremble, when I tooke account of mine owne life. For I assuredly knowing, that that was the way to my condemnation, I was bound to make restitution, as did that Florentine. But * when I did sometimes see and obserue, that some powerfull and rich men would curiously put themselues to search in euery corner of their purse, for to look out a poore Blanke, a single-sol'd piece of money (God he knowes) and had there beene a lesse coyne, I thinke they would haue beene well inough contented with it to giue vnto the poore, I could by no meanes indure it, my bloud would rise at it, and I was ready to lose all patience. And euen now (me thinkes) whilest I am now speaking of it, my buttons swell; the coales Page  217 of my choller; reuiue and quicken afresh, and such a furie of rage assayleth me, and sets me on against them, that I cannot containe my selfe, but must needs say something, though I know what, nor where to begin.

Hear'st thou me (thou my rich friend) a•…t thou not yet wearied out, or waxen deafe, with so often hearing what hath been said vnto thee, (it hauing beene * so often beaten in thine eares, and inculcated vnto thee) that whatsoeuer thou shalt doe for any poore body, that shall begge an Almes of thee for Gods sake, thou doest it for God himselfe, and he isty'de vnto thee for the same, and stands bound for the payment, by taking the debt vpon him, and making that his owne, which is another mans? Wee that are poore, are like a Cipher in Arithmeticke, vvhich of it selfe is nothing, but vvith the addition of a figure is something, and the number is still the more, the more Ciphers are set before those figures. If thou wilt stand for ten, set a poore man by thee, and see how many the more poore men thou shalt relieue, & how many the more Almes-deeds thou shalt doe, they are as so many figures, to make vp a greater reckoning for thee with God, when thou shalt be called before him to make thine account.

What shouldst thou sticke vpon the matter, and begin to debate and consi∣der with thy selfe, whether I get or not get, vvhether men giue me, or giue me not? But doe thou giue me that which I aske thee, if thou hast where∣withall and art able to doe it. And if not for Gods sake, which commands thee to doe it, yet out of that naturall affection, which thou owest vnto me. And doe not flatter thy selfe, or so much as offer to thinke, that the wealth vvhich thou inioyest, and the riches that God hath giuen thee, is; That thou art bet∣ter Wooll then we; but that thou art better carded. And he that made thee thus fine, and me thus course; by giuing to thee, and taking from mee, may change hands, and may bestowe his blessings vpon vvhom he please, and on such as hee shall thinke worthy thereof, and shall doe more good vvith it; then thou doest. Be not a pryer into the poore, nor too strict an examinant: demurre not vvhat thou shalt doe for him, stand not a hinching and a crinch∣ing with him; for if thou looke well into thy selfe, thou wilt finde Couetous∣nesse to be the cause of all this, and that they are but meere excuses, because thou would'st not giue him any thing, and so shift him off from thee: I know it is so; and therefore let me perswade thee (for thine owne good) to inlarge thy minde, and that will make thee to inlarge thine Almes. And for this end, as also that thou maist see the good effect of Almes, heare that, which Sofroni∣us rrecounteth, cited by Canisius, a very learned man.

A Widow-woman, hauing one onely Daughter, being a very faire and beautifull Damzell, Zenon the Emperour fell mightily in loue with her, and * was exceedingly inamoured of her; and by force (quite against her will, and vtterly with her dislike) he deflowred her; and with a strong and tyrannous hand, kept her, and enioyed her.

The Mother of this Maiden, finding her selfe much afflicted for this her so much wronged and abused Daughter, bearing great deuotion to a particuler Image of our Lady, as often as she presented her selfe there before it, she would still recommend this her cause vnto her, saying; O blessed Mary, O sweet Virgin, I heere vpon my knees begge reuenge and punishment for this force and affront, which that Tyrant Zenon the Emperour hath, and doth still offer vs. It is said, that she heard a voice, which spake thus vnto her; Thou hadst * beene long agoe e're this reuenged on him, if the Almes-deeds of the Empe∣rour had not bound our hands.

Loose thou thy hands, that are too fast bound; stretch them out to t•… poore, and helpe them therewith (as well as thou canst) out of the misery, vvherein they lye. For it is thy duty so to doe, it is required at thy hands; and it much more concerneth thee to giue an Almes, then the other to receiue it. God did Page  218 not so much make the rich man for the poore, as the poore man for the rich. Not so much for his, as for thy good. And therefore doe not thou stand off, and intertaine thy selfe with saying, One man merits more then another; This deserues some-what, and this not. There is but one God, and they aske of thee in his name; to him thou doest giue it. All is one, thou art to make no * difference. Thou canst not vnderstand, how much another mans necessitie doth wring him, nor is it possible that thou shouldst come to knowe it. It is the outward man onely, that thou canst iudge of. And thou thinking, that such a man is sound and in health, it is not fit (as thou supposest) that thou shouldest giue him an Almes.

Doe not seeke starting holes, to hide away thy Deuotion; seeke not excu∣ses, to put away the poore from thee; leaue that to their Lord and Master, thou hast no Commission to examine them; it is not giuen thee in charge. There are other Iudges, to whom this scrutinie belongeth. And if, looking vpon me, thou wilt let thy iudgement slip, and say, that God hath been too slacke and negligent in punishing of me; Consider, that the selfe-same God hath done the like by others.

Do not (O thou man of euill bowels, thou vnmercifull-minded man) doe not thou, I say, lye in waite to doe mischiefe. The Ambush is discouered, and I see thy meaning. I say then, that Charity, and distribution of Almes, hath it's method and order, as in other things. Nor doe I say, that thou shoul∣dest not order thy Charitie; but I say, that thou shouldest exercise thy Chari∣tie; That thou shouldst giue freely, and not pinchingly; That thou shouldst not make such a deale of scrupulositie with thy selfe; whether he should haue an Almes or not haue an Almes? whether hee haue need, or not need? Trou∣bling thy selfe with this, and with that, and I know not what. If thou wilt giue it him, giue it him quickly; if thou canst not, say thou canst not, and ther's an end. Yet let me tell thee by the way; if a poore man begge of thee, then, euen then, dost thou owe him an Almes, and it costs him deare too, as I told thee before.

And let me farther tell thee, That thy Office is onely to giue. Let the Ru∣lers and Magistrates, the Bishops and their Vicars, open that doore to * looke into, it is their eyes that must see who is poore, and who not, and ac∣cordingly appoint the punishment.

This is for men of Office; this, for men of authority; yet it is a crosse vn∣to them; yet is it a trouble vnto them. Nor were they made Gouernours, or Heads ouer others, for to eate the best morsels, or to feede on the daintiest * dishes, but to take more paines and cares then other men. Not to laugh and make themselues merry with their Fooles and Iesters, but to lament and be∣wayle the wretched estate of the poore: Not for to sleepe and snort, but to watch and sigh, hauing continually (like vnto the Dragon) the eye-sight of the Spirit cleere. So that, it onely appertaines vnto thee to giue an Almes: And doe not thinke, that thou doest then performe that dutey, when thou giuest that thou canst not vvell tell what to doe withall, and hast kept it so long in some corner a moulding, that it is fitter to be throwne out vpon the dunghill, then any thing else. And as if the poore were that dunghill, thou giu'st him thy mouldy and thy stinking meate; not so much out of Charitie, or any deuo∣tion thou hast to giue it to the poore, as because thou canst not eate it thy selfe, and wouldst haue thy house faine rid of it. But this, I tell thee, is the sacrifice of Cain. That which thou wilt offer, must be of the best things that thou hast, as did that good and iust man Abel, with a desire and will that it were much better, wishing it may doe him much good. Not, as though thou didst giue by constraint and compulsion, nor yet for ostentation, hauing (like the Pha∣risee) the trumpet to go before thee, to sound foorth thy praise; but only out of meere charitie, that thou maist reape thereby that fruit that is promised thee, God accepting of thy sacrifice.

Page  219 I was now a pretie waies off from Rome, whither I was bending my steps. * But I no sooner came thither, but my teares trickled downe my cheekes for ioy. I did wish in my heart, that mine armes had beene so large, as that they might haue beene able to haue imbraced those sacred Walls. The first step that I set within those holy gates, I fell downe on my face, and kist that hal∣lowed ground. And because that Country, which a man knowes, and where he hath his meanes, the same is to be accounted his Mother, I did much ioy to see it. I knew the Citie well, and was as well knowne in it. I began (as I had done before) to seeke some course to liue, and to maintaine this life of mine: I falsely call it life, being it was my death, though it seemed vnto me, to be my proper Center.

O alas, how strangely are we wedded to our passions, and how strange doth that seeme vnto vs, which doth not answer thereunto, be it neuer so true, neuer so certaine! This seemed to me, to be my only happinesse; holding (in comparison thereof) euery other thing as a misfortune. And though I did see all, yet I inclined still to the worst, thinking still, that that was the best. *

I was stirring one morning betimes, according as I had formerly beene ac∣customed, and trugg'd along with my sore legge, with which I sate me downe to begge at one of the Cardinals gates. And he comming forth for to goe to * the Palace, stay'd to heare me, in how loud a voice and extrauagant a tune, I besought his pitie: not vsing those plainer notes of eight, but saying; Giue mee somewhat (noble Christian; friend of Iesus Christ) take pit•…e of this sore afflicted sinner, maimed and pained in his members; Looke vpon these wretched limmes: consider my vnfortunate yeeres, and take some compassion of this mise∣rable creature! O my most reuerend Father, my most noble Lord, shew some * sense of sorrow, haue some little feeling, I beseech your most illustrous Lord∣ship, of this poooe young wretched Youth, and powre forth your fatherly com∣passion vpon such a pittifull piece of miserie and wretchednesse, as you see here before you. I begge it at your noble and charitable hands, in that glorious name of the blessed (though most painefull) passion of our deare Master and Redee∣mer Iesus Christ.

My Lord Cardinal (after that he had heard me with a great deale of at∣tention) was extremely moued therewith, and conceiued an extraordinary pitie towards me, insomuch that I did not seeme vnto him to be a man, but * that I represented vnto him euen God himselfe. Thereupon hee forthwith gaue order to his seruants, that they should take me vp in their armes, and carry me into the house, and that stripping me of those old and rotten ragges, they should lay me in his owne bed, and in another chamber adioyning there∣vnto, they should make his. All which was done in a moment.

O the great goodnesse of God! ô the largenesse of his noble condition! * They stript me naked, for to cloath mee; they would not let me begge, but were ready to giue me; and to make me likewise able to giue vnto others. God neuer takes any thing away from vs, but when hee meanes to bestow greater blessings vpon vs. When God will giue thee any thing, he will first * aske something of thee. He comes weary about noone to the Fountaine, sits him downe, askes thee a little water whereof the beasts of the field doe drinke. Thou giu'st it him: In exchange whereof, he giues thee the water of the Well of Life, the drinke of Angels, whereof he that drinketh, shall neuer thirst any more. This holy man made him his patterne, who sending present∣ly for two skilfull Surgeons, and promising to see them well rewarded, com∣mitted my cure to their charge, and that they should doe their best to make me a sound man. This care being taken, leauing me in the hands of these two * hangmen, and in the power of my enemies, hee gets him away to the Palace.

Although we vs'd many, and sundrie counterfeitings of sores, yet that Page  220 which I had then made me, was rubb'd ouer with a certaine Herbe, which caus'd it to looke so ill and so vile, that whosoeuer had seene it, would haue thought the sore incurable, and that great remedies must bee vsed, as to a thing that was shrewdly festred, and growne to a Canker; yet if the vse of this roguish Herbe be but left off for three whole daies, nature it selfe, with∣out any other helpe, will reduce the flesh to that perfection and soundnesse, that it was in before. To these two Surgeons, it seemed at the first sight a thing of much moment. They threw off their Cloakes, they call'd for a Panne of coales, fresh butter and other things; and when they had all that they would in a readinesse, they vnswathed me, and vnbound the clouts that were about my legge, which they performed very neatly and handsomely. That done, they askt me how long I had had this sore, if I could ghesse whence it should come; if I did vse to drinke Wine, what meates I did most vsually feed on, and such other questions as these. Which those that are skilfull in that art, are wont to doe on the like occasions.

All these I answered with silence, lying all along as if I had beene dead, for I was not almost my selfe, nor was I indeed for a pretie while, seeing such a * deale of preparation to cut, to cauterize and the like; and in case I should escape all this, I was at my wits end, to thinke that my maladie would bee found out, and so my roguerie be discouered. That which I suffered in Gaeta, seemed but a flea biting vnto me. But now I liued in feare, that the Cardi∣nall would inflict some notable punishment vpon me, for this cheating tricke that I had put vpon him. I knew not how to helpe my selfe, nor what to doe, nor whom to make vse of in this my extremitie. For, neither in all the Le∣tanie, nor in Flos Sanctorum, could I finde any Saint, that was a Defender and Protector of Villanes, or that would seeke to excuse me.

By this time they had viewd me againe and againe, a hundred and a hun∣dred times, and turnd me to and fro, this way and that way, that I thought they would neuer haue made an end; when at last I brake forth and said; I am vndone, I am vndone; yet there is some life left in me: I die if you aske me any more questions, or if you med•…le with me any more. Two houres of trouble haue I alreadie indured vnder their hands, if they doe not burie me now in 〈◊〉, (thought I) I will passe ouer the rest as well as I can. And say they should agree to cut off my legge, the condition were better, and the gaine more certaine▪ so as I did not die in the doing of it. But suppose also that this should befall me, I should then be before handwith Death, and I shall not be put to indure that brunt another time. What can I doe more? (vnfortunate man as I am) I was borne into the world, here I must suffer, pa∣tience must be my best comfort, shuffle the Cardes therefore anew, and see whether we shall haue any better lucke. For my rest is vp, and the care is al∣ready taken.

While I was thus doubtfull what would become of me, the couetousnesse * of these Surgeons, and their greedinesse of gaine, opened the doore to my re∣medie. The one of them▪ (who was better experienced then the other) came to know at last, that this sore was a counterfeit sore, and that by the signes and Symptomes of it, it proceeded from the effects of that very selfe-same Herbe which I had vsed. But this he kept close to himselfe, telling his fellow, This flesh is canker'd all ouer, and therefore it is necessarie, that to hinder it from spreading any farther, and that other new flesh may come vp in its place, to cut it all away to the quicke, and then there was no doubt of the well curing of it.

The other said vnto him; This cure will aske a great deale of time; all this filthy matter must be taken away, till we come to the very belly, as it were, wherein the very pith and Core of it lies, before we can well tell what to say to it. Howsoeuer, we haue here a faire occasion offred to shew our skill, and to Page  221 picke out something of it, for the better passing ouer of this hard yeere. He that was the more expert man of the two, tooke the other by the hand, and led him forth aside into a withdrawing roome, that ioyned close to the cham∣ber. I, when I saw them thus goe forth together (suspecting some secret con∣sultation) I stole me out of my bed after them, that I might listen to their talke, and it was my hap at last to heare the one of them say to the other; Master Doctor, I doe thinke (be it spoken vnder correction) that your Wor∣ship doth not rightly and truly vnderstand this young mans maladie; for you shall seldome meet with the like kinde of cures, and there is scarce one of a hundred, when they doe meet with them, that doth know them, o•… can tell what to make of them, yet shall I acquaint you with what I know: we are Partners in this businesse, and therefore I will hide nothing from you; but it is a great secret, that I haue to communicate vnto you. What (for Gods sake) said the other? I shall tell you, sir: and with that he said; This beg∣ger * is a notable dissembling Rogue, a subtill Villaine; these sores that you see, are feigned ware, counterfeit stuffe. What shall we doe in this case? Let me be aduised by you. If we leaue him off thus▪ the bird will escape our hands, and so we shall lose both the credit and profit of this Cure. If take vpon vs to cure him, we haue no cure to worke vpon, and then this Rascall will be∣foole vs, and laugh at our ignorance: and if we cannot one way or other come off fairely to our best aduantage, the be•… course will be (in my opinion) to acquaint the Cardinall how the case standeth, and what a count•…feit Knaue we haue vnder our hands.

No sir (said the other) I hold not that so fit. Let vs hold the Bird fast, while we haue him: it is a lesse euill, that vpon this young fellow (that is no better then a Picaro, and an errant Rogue) we should gaine vs a •…ittle repu∣tation, and come off with some good opinion, then to let slip so fine and so faire an occasion. Let vs therefore take no notice of these his counterfeit sores, but rather lay some Playsters thereunto, that may entertaine and delay the time: And if need be, we shall afterwards apply some Corrosiues, that shall eate into the sound flesh, in the cure whereof, we will spend some few daies. Nay then (quoth the other) the best way will be, Sir, (as I take it) to begin first with fire, cauterizing that part which appeares thus infected.

Now, which of these two remedies they should first begin withall, as also, how they were to share the gaines betweene them, a great quarrell there was, they could not agree vpon the point; for he that first found out the nature of my sore, would haue the greater share, or else he would acquaint the Cardi∣nall with the whole businesse.

When I saw vpon what they stucke, and that it was a matter of little or no moment, and that vpon their difference, which was occasioned by my mise∣rable pouertie, I might runne the hazzard of my vtter ruine, I rusht in be∣tweene them, and throwing my selfe downe at their feet, I said thus vnto them, Gentlemen; on your hands, and tongues, depends my life, or death: my remedy, or my ruine. From my hurt no good can come to you; but from * my good, you may reape assured both profit, and credit.

I know you are not ignorant of the necessitie and want which the poore suffer, and of the hardnesse of rich mens hearts, insomuch, that to mooue them to the more compassion and the easilier to get an Almes from them, we are inforced to wound our flesh, with these kinde of sores and martyrdomes, induring much trouble, and suffering much paine, yet neither these, nor grea∣ter miseries that we abide, are of power to preuaile with them. It were a great mis-fortune in others to indure that out of necessitie which wee wil∣lingly suffer, for that poore and miserable maintenance, which we draw from thence. I beseech you (for Gods sake) to take pitie on me, seeing that you are men that runne through the troublesome street of this world, and are made Page  222 of flesh and blood, as well as my selfe; and that, which hath driuen me to this hard exigent, may likewise light vpon your selues.

Doe not (I beseech you) bewray me, worke your will vpon me, and where∣in I may serue and helpe you, I will not be wanting to do as you will haue me, and in all things to be so ruled by you, that you may gaine much by this your cure. You may be confident of me, and trust me as you would your owne liues; for if there were no other meanes to make me sure vnto you, the feare of mine owne punishment is sufficient of it selfe, to binde me to be secret. Nor let not the respect of gaine restraine your kindnesse; for it is better to get, then to lose. We are three of vs, let vs all play booty, and ioyne together to coozen the Cardinall; for he is rich, and something is better then nothing.

These intreaties, seasoned with a few teares, and vttered with that ear∣nestnesse as I deliuered them vnto them, were sufficient to make them ap∣proue of my counsell; and so much the rather, for that they saw that I had hit the nayle right on the head. Wherewith they were so well pleased, that they were ready for ioy to take me vp vpon their shoulders, to carry mee to my bed. And so they and my selfe grew fully agreed to play euery man his part as well as we could.

Whilest this businesse was in debating, they were so long before they could agree vpon the matter, that I vvas scarce put into my bed, and the cloathes cast vpon me; but that my Lord Cardinall was come to the Chamber doore; who when he was entred, one of the Surgeons said vnto him: *

This yong mans malady (may it please your Lordship) is a very grieuous one, and we must necessarily apply, great remedies therevnto. For the flesh is festred and canker'd in many places, and it hath taken such deepe roote, that it is impossible for the plaisters that we are to apply to worke any good effect, without some long tract of time; but I am very confident, and dare be bold to assure your Lordship, that (by the helpe of God) we shall make him as sound a man, as euer he was in his life.

Then said the other, If this Youth had not thus luckily falne into your Lordships pittifull and charitable hands, within a few dayes, these his sores would haue been so putrified, and haue so corrupted the wholebody, that all the world could not haue sau'd his life, but he must haue perished, and dy'de. But we shall so stop this Canker, from spreading it selfe any farther, and vse such good meanes for his recouerie, that I make no question but within sixe moneths; if not sooner, his flesh shall come to bee as whole and as faire as mine.

The good Cardinall (whom Charitie had onely mooued herevnto) told them; Be it in sixe, or in ten, let me haue it throughly healed and cured as it ought to be cured, and I shall take order that you be prouided of all things ne∣cessary for it, you shall want nothing. With this, he left them, and with-drew himselfe into another roome. This did put new life into me; and as if they had drawne my heart out of the one side, and had thrust it in on the other in∣to my body againe, so did I then feele my selfe. For euen till that very instant, I did not rest assured of these two traiterous Surgeons. I stil feared, they would haue wheeled about another way, and haue beene the cause of my vndoing. But by that which I had heard them treat in my presence, I was some-what cheered, and began to be of good comfort.

But the custome ofSwearing, Gaming, and Begging, are things that are * hard to be left off. It could not choose but grieue me very much, that I was hindred in my course, mew'd vp, debarr'd my liberty, and made vnable to inioy those good and plentifull Almes, which I gain'd by begging. Which losse notwithstanding did seeme the lesse, in regard of that curious intertain∣ment, choyse dyet, and good lodging that I had, that mans desire could not haue wisht it to haue bin better. For I was waited on, like a Prince, and cured Page  223 with that care, as if I had beene the Cardinall himselfe. And so had he giuen commandement to the seruants of his house; besides his dayly comming in his owne proper person to visit me. And sometimes he would sit downe and make some stay with me, talking of such things, wherein he tooke pleasure to heare me.

At length, being healed of this infirmitie, (when the Surgeons saw their * time,) they were dismissed, receiuing a great deale of pay, for a little paines. And I was commanded to be new cloath'd, and to be listed in the Roll of the Pages; that as one of them, from that time forward, I might attend, and wait vpon his Lordship.