CHAP. VII.

THe Egyptians, a great while ago, in those times of old being notable Sooth-sayers, (as indeed they were) a∣mongst * many other errours, which they had, this was one amongst the rest, that they adored Fortune, as a Goddesse; verily beleeuing, that there was some such thing indeed. To her, they celebrated a Feast on the first day of the yeere, preparing sumptuous Tables, ma∣king great Feasts and costly Banquets, in a thankefull acknowledgment of the fore-passed yeare, and intreating her fauour, for that which was to come. They were fully perswaded, that this Goddesse was she, that had the disposall of all things, giuing and taking away at her pleasure, as supreme Gouernesse ouer all humane things. This they did, because they wanted the knowledge of one onely true God, whom we adore and worship, by whose powerfull hand, and diuine will, heauen and earth are gouerned, and whatsoeuer is created in them both, be it visible, or inuisible. It seemed somewhat strange vnto them, and were touched therewith to the quicke, when misfortunes began to light vpon them; to see how one mischiefe came vpon the necke of another; one no sooner past, but another at the heeles of them, not giuing them one hower of ease and quiet, neuer making an end, till they had made an end of man, and quite ouerthrowne him horse and foot: And how againe at another time (like so many Cowards) they come trooping all at once vpon vs, and neuer leaue assaulting vs, till they haue vtterly ruin'd vs, and throwne this our house of clay downe to the ground.

And on the contrary side againe, the time doth not ascend with that nim∣blenesse and quicke motion to the top of the highest mountaines, as Fortune doth eleuate and lift men vp by wayes and meanes, neither seene, nor thought vpon, neuer suffering them to continue still firme, either in the one, or t'o∣ther estate; to the end that he that is deiected, may not despaire; and hee that is exalted, may not presume. If the light of faith were wanting vnto me, as it was vnto them, I might (giuing credit to this their errour) happely say, when such like misfortunes should befall me; Bien veng as mal, si solo vienes. Welcome is that misfortune which comes alone: yesterday morning I did complaine of little vvearinesse, and of the two demy-Chickens that I had to dinner, going disguized in your Hermits habit, as vnwilling to be knowne. Afterwards, I came to make my supper vpon the stinking panch of a young Mule; and which was worse, to feed vpon the flesh and braines thereof, which vvas all one in a manner, as if I should haue deuoured mine owne flesh; I meane, by his a fathers side; vvhich may be euery mans case, as well as mine. And for an vpshot of all, the ill lucke that I had at last, to be coozened of my Cloake. Poco danno espanta, y mucho amansa: little losses doe onely startse and amaze men at the first, but great ones do quell and daunt a man, making him as gentle as a Lambe.

What treason hath beene plotted against me? vvhat squint-ey'd Starre hath scowl'd vpon me? vvhat misfortune followed me, since I came from home? For from the time, that I first put foorth of doores, all things haue Page  57 gone amisse with me, one mischance being the fore-runner of another, and the sad presager of worser things to come, which like a double Tertian went increasing vpon me, euery fit being vvorse and more violent, then the former, not allowing me the least intervallum of time, or any space or respit in the vvorld to take any rest.

Mans life is a warre-fare vpon earth, there is no certainty therein; no set∣tled * assurance, no estate that is permanent; no pleasure that is perfect; no con∣tent that is true; but all is counterfeit and vaine. Wilt thou see, that this is true? Then hearken to that which I shall tell thee.

The great god Iupiter (for so the Poets faigne him) hauing created all things vpon earth; and man to be the enioyer of them, commanded the god Con∣tent, to reside in the world, not beleeuing, nor preuenting the ingratitude, which afterwards they fell into, following their owne proper pleasures and delights, and bearing themselues in a high and proud fashion: for hauing this god continuing amongst them, they did not so much as thinke on any other. To him they did sacrifice, to him they offered their oblations, his name they celebrated with ioy; and to him onely did they sing Songs of prayse and thanksgiuing. Iupiter scorning this contempt, and being mightily offended * vvith man for this strange neglect, called a Councell of the gods; and when they were all assembled together, he made vnto them a long Discourse, wher∣in he informed them, of the euill Correspondence which man held with him, for that they did onely adore Content, as their true god; not considering the benefits vvhich they had receiued from his prodigall hand, being meerely his workmanship, and by him created of nothing. And that therefore they should deliuer their Opinions, vvhat order was to be taken, for the redres∣sing of so foule an abuse; and vvhat Medicines to be applied for the curing of this their madnesse.

Some of the milder gods, out of their tender hearts, and mercifull na∣tures, spake thus vnto Iupiter:

Man, you know, is but a weake kind of creature, framed of a frayle and brittle matter, a corruptible substance, soone dissolu'd and turn'd to nothing; and therefore we thinke it fit, that they should be holpen and held vp by vs, and that we should yeeld them our succour and assistance in all that we can: For, if it were possible, that vve could exchange fortunes with them, and vvere in the same state and condition as they are, and euery way equall with them, I doubt me, vve should do iust as they do. And therefore we are not to make any great reckoning of the matter: but if we doe, and that they must be proceeded against, we for our parts are verily perswaded, that some mild and gentle correction will be a sufficient remedy for the present.

Momus would faine haue spoke his mind, and his tongue itch't to bee let loose, hauing already entred into some free language, and would haue lash't out farther, had he not beene commanded to hold his peace, and to forbeare till it came to his turne, and then he should haue a full hearing. Hee would gladly haue taken hold on that occasion, to haue incensed Iupiter, because it did so fairely offer it selfe vnto him: but obeying for the present, he meditated in the meane while on a long Oration, vvhich he meant should make for his purpose, vvhen it came to his turne to speake. Howbeit, there were not some wanting in the interim, of equall (almost) condition vvith himselfe, and of the same humour, vvho stood vp and said:

It is not fit (great god of Heauen) to leaue so heynous a fault vnpunished: for the offence is infinit, being committed against so infinit a Maiestie; and therefore the punishment ought likewise to be infinit. Our opinion is, that they should be vtterly destroyed, and made an end of at once, and neuer to haue any more of them created anew; for there is no necessity at all of their being and liuing in the world, but may very well be spared. Page  58 others vvould not agree to that motion, but did hold it fit, that great store of Thunder-bolts, with fearfull flashes of Lightning, should be throwne downe vpon them, and consume them all; and that others more good should be created a-new.

Thus as they were deliuering their opinions, being more or lesse rigo∣rous, according to their seuerall qualities and complexions, till it came to A∣pollo's turne to speake, who crauing leaue of the House, and their fauour obtained, in a graue voice, and with a cheerefull countenance, he thus exprest himselfe:

Supreme Scepter-swaying Iupiter, highest amongst the gods, both in pow∣er, * and in pitie: That grieuous accusation, wherewith thou chargest Man, is so iust, that we can not gaine-say, or contradict any vengeance, vvhich thou shalt take of them. Yet withall, I can not (out of that great respect which I beare vnto thee) but vtter what I thinke, and plainly to shew vnto thee, what I haue conceiued in my minde, my words being as free from passion, as I hope they shall be from offence.

If thou destroy the world, in vaine then are those things, which thou hast therein created; and it were imperfection in thee, to vn-make that, which thou hast already made; only for to mend that which thou now findest amisse: Much lesse, vvould I haue thee to repent thy selfe that thou hast made Man; for that will be but to discredit thy selfe and thine owne worke. Besides, how can it stand with the power and goodnesse of a Creator, to take too strict a course against his Creature, and to exceed, by extraordinary meanes, in his chastisements?

To destroy these that are now liuing, and to create others a-new, I hold that not so fit to be done by thee. For thou must either giue them, or not giue them free-will: if thou giue them it, they must necessarily then be such man∣ner of men, as their fore-fathers were: If thou not giue it them, they shall not be men: And so thou shalt haue created in vaine that so great and glorious a frame of Heauen, Earth, Starres, Moone, Sunne, together with the compo∣sition of the Elements, and millions more of things, which thou hast made in so exact a manner, and such a singular perfection. So that (which impor∣teth your seruice, if you will be pleased to take it into consideration) there remaineth but one thing to be done to set all right againe, without seeking for any other remedy; or that you shall be driuen to vse any violent or rigorous proceeding against them, to the preiudice of your clemencie.

Thou (O Iupiter) gau'st them the God Content, vvhom they were to haue with them as long as it pleased thee, and no longer: for vpon thy will and pleasure, all things both in Heauen and earth haue their dependency. Now, had they beene so wise, that they could haue continued thankefull towards thee, and haue conserued themselues in iustice and obedience towards thee, it had been a thing repugnant to the goodnesse of thy nature and iustice, not to vphold and protect them, by inlarging thy fauours towards them, and mul∣tiplying thy blessings vpon them. But since they haue dis-merited this by disobedience, thou oughtest in some sort to punish them. For it is not fit, that they should in tyrannous manner, & with a strong hand possesse these so great blessings, to offend thee thereby: But thou oughtest rather to take this their god from them, and in his stead to send downe his brother Discontent a∣mongst them, who is very like in fauour vnto him, and doth resemble him so neere, that a man can hardly discerne the one from the other. And so by this meanes, they will euer hereafter come to acknowledge their own misery, and thy mercy; thy happy estate, and their owne wretched condition; thy ease, and their trouble; their paine, and thy glory; thy power, and their owne weakenesse. And then, as thou shalt see cause, thou maist distribute thy fa∣uours to those that shall deserue them; and according to thy louing kindnesse Page  59 recompence euery man according to thine owne good will and pleasure, not making thy benefits alike common to the good and the bad, by suffering all men equally to enioy one and the same happinesse. This course being taken with them, I am of opinion, that it will not onely be a sufficient punishment vnto them; but will also bring them to a due acknowledgement of their er∣rour. I haue spoke my minde and shall now leaue it vnto thee (thou mercy∣imbracing Iupiter) to doe that herein which shall sute best with thine owne good liking, and shall make most for thy seruice.

With this briefe aduice, he ended his Oration. Then Momus, with his * venemous tongue, began to lay about him; labouring to exaggerate the of∣fence, and to set it forth in its vilest colours, induced thereunto not so much for goodnesse sake, as that inueterated hatred which he euermore bare vnto mankinde. But notice being taken of his passion (which was a knowne disease in him) his opinion was reproued, and cryde downe by the generall voice of that highest Court of Parliament: All commending the motion that vvas made by Apollo. The execution of whose speech was (with an vnanimous * consent) committed to Mercury: Who presently (spreading his wings, and breaking with them through the ayre) descended downe vpon the earth, where he found the men of this world with their god, Content, feeding and making merry together, doing him all the honour they could deuise, being farre from any the least thought, that this their god should (while the world indured) be alienated from their possession.

Mercury came to this god, where he was; and hauing in secret deliuered the Embassage vnto him, sent from the gods aboue, was (though sore against his will) inforced to yeeld thereunto. The men were herevpon in an vprore, and sought to hinder it all they could, and began with might and maine to in∣terest themselues in the cause; and seeing that there was no remedy, but that this their god must be taken away from them, they stroue to defend him with all the strength they could make; and taking strong hold of him, they tugged hard for him, as desirous to retaine him still amongst them.

Iupiter perceiuing how the vvorld vvent, and what a coyle they kept about him, came downe amongst them, and whilest these men were busied in laying fast hold on his cloathes, (vsing a pretty slight) he cunningly conuay'd away Content from amidst his cloathes, leauing them Discontent in his stead, with the same cloathes, and the very same habit of raiment, wherewith Content was at that time apparelled, taking him from thence away with him to hea∣uen. Wherewith the men that were in this broyle were very well pleased (though thus deceiued) thinking that they had preuailed in their purpose, and obtained vvhat they desired, since they had their god still amongst them: But it vvas not so well with them, as they thought it to be.

This errour of those former times (the same deceit yet liuing still amongst them) hath continued euen to this present age. Men did thinke that Content remained stil with them, and that they had him sure inough heere vpon earth. But it is nothing so; for it is onely the bare raiment, and outward shape and resemblance, which they inioy with them; and Discontent, clapt into his cloathes. And if thou beleeue otherwise, or conceiu'st the contrary, thou art vvide of the truth, and a meere stranger thereunto. Wilt thou, that I make this plaine vnto thee? Marke well then what I shall say vnto thee.

Weigh and consider with thy selfe, in any kinde of manner thou thy selfe shalt deuise: the Feasts, the Sports, the Bankets, the Musicks, all the delights and ioyes, and whatsoeuer else may most moue thy inclination to the highest point of all, which thine owne desire can suggest and paint forth vnto thee to the life. If I shall aske thee by the way, Whither goest thou? Thou wilt an∣swere me perhaps, and that very proudly: To such a feast of Content. I giue it for granted, that there thou doest receiue it, and that the place doth affoord it Page  60 thee; the Gardens being fresh and full of flowers; the Riuers plated with their siluer-streames, and that the Fountaines distilling their drops of pearle, may much cheere and glad thy heart. I suppose that thou hast banketed thy selfe in sweet and pleasant Arbours, where neither the Sunne did offend thee, nor the ayre annoy thee. And that thou didst inioy thy desires to their full height, & that thou hadst all the sports & pastimes that a man could wish. Yet notwithstanding, there is no contentment so absolute in this vvorld, which is not watred vvith some sorrow. And though in all these things thou hadst no distaste at all giuen thee; but hadst euery thing according to thine owne mind: yet when thou returnest home to thine own house; or layest thee down in thy bed to take thy rest it is not possible but thou shalt find thy selfe weary, dusty & sweaty, to haue lost thy stomake, or taken cold, to grow heauy, me∣lancholly, and sad; and peraduenture become either mad, or dead. For amidst our greatest pleasures, happen the greatest misfortunes: And are vsually wont to be vnto vs Vespers of feare, and of horrour; and not Vespers, vvhere the night passeth merrily away from the beginning to the middle, and from the middle to the end: for in the midst of this thy idolatry, all shall bee taken from thee. Set not thy heart therefore vpon them; but slight them, and let them goe by, as if thou didst not know them: for there is no trust to be had in them.

Now, by this time, (I doubt not) but thou wilt ingenuously confesse, that this disguise did deceiue thee, these cloathes coozen thee, and this maske so blinde thy eye-sight; That whereas thou didst verily thinke, that thou hadst Content now safe inough in thy hands, thou hadst nothing more but his out∣ward raiment; and in it, Discontent. Now doest thou see, how there is no Content vpon the earth; and that our true Content is onely in Heauen. And * therefore, till thou meet with it there; doe not looke for it heere.

When I resolued on my departure, (O good God) what a deale of content did represent it selfe vnto me? Me thought, the very thought of it wrought wonderfully vpon me, apprehending no happinesse to be equall vnto this. With these eyes of my imagination, I beheld onely Aprill, and the beauty of the Fields in that season; not so much as once thinking on the August, that * was to come after: As if I vvere to suffer nothing, and had been made of some impossible substance, that could not be subiect to perturbations; or these foo∣lish crosses of the world. Those long and euen wayes, I conceited as things, that I was not to goe; at least, not to be wearied with them. To eate and drinke at your Innes, and other the like vittailing houses, (as one that did not know what kinde of Vermine, these bloud-suckers were,) I thought they vvould haue giuen me my meat for nothing; or if they did take money for it, that it would haue beene much better then what you haue heard me tell you. The variety and greatnesse of things; as Birds, Beasts, Mountaines, Woods, Cities, and whatsoeuer was inhabited with people, as if I had them all already in my hand, all did figure forth vnto me content, and nothing but content; but could not finde it in any thing, but in a good and honest life.

I did frame in the fabricke of my braine, Castles of Content, and that all things should succeed prosperously with me, and that where-soeuer I came, I should meet with my Mother, that should make much of me, and my Maid, that should make me vnready, and bring my supper to bed to mee, and that should helpe me on in the morning with my cloathes, and fetch me my break∣fast. Good God, who vvould thinke, that the world were so large and so long as it is? I had seene it in some Maps, and me thought it was all plaine and smooth, and huddled (as it seemed there to be) all together, without any great either difference, or distance. I did not imagine, there could haue been * so many troubles, and so many miseries in it. But to say, I neuer thought it, is a thing that betrayes a man to haue lineally descended of a race of Coxcombs, Page  61 it is a property, that belongs onely vnto fooles; it is the excuse of rude and ignorant Asses, the childs helpe, and the carelesse mans refuge. For he that is wise and discreet, ought euer to thinke on things afore-hand, to fore-cast the worst; and to preuent a mischiefe before it come.

But I did like a simple Youth, (as I was) hauing neither wit nor gouern∣ment in me; and therefore I was iustly punished, for that liuing so at ease as I did; and being as it were in Paradise, I would goe abroad into the world; and like my first fore-fathers, could not see when I was well, but I know not out of what vaine humour, must goe seeke after the knowledge of good, and ill. How many things began I then to call to minde, when I came out of the Inne without my Cloake, and was not onely coozened, but made a common laughing stocke, to as many as lookt vpon me! I, would faine haue then beene feeding on the flesh-pots of Egypt: O how I did long to be at home againe! But (as the saying is) elbien, hasta que se pierde, no se conoçe. Man knowes not * what happinesse is, till he want it.

We were all sad and heauy, and iogged on along in a sullen and melancholy kinde of fashion; and now my honest Carrier was no more so full of his laughing, as he was before; the winde was laid in that corner, by the tricke that mine Host had put vpon him. Before, he threw stones on my house top, thinking to breake the Tyles, and cracke my Roofe: but when hee found his owne to be made of glasse, he left his flinging, with-drew his hand, and kept himselfe quiet. It is lesse ill, and more discretion to consider with a mans * selfe, before he speake, what he may chance to heare; and before that he doe a wrong, whether it may be returned vpon himselfe, or no? It is not good for a man to thrust himselfe wilfully into danger. For when a man shall take too much liberty to himselfe; he shall finde a tongue for a tongue, and a hand for a hand. All things haue their equall measure; like doe, like haue: And he that will be honoured of all, must honour all.

If it enter not (yet at least it ought) into thy consideration, that what thou hast said or done in secret, either shall, or may be pu•…shed by some one or o∣ther to the world, and that thou maist meet with such a one, that either in word, or in deed, may reply that vnto thee, which thou wouldst not vvil∣lingly heare, and lesse indure: Doe not stand vpon thy strength, nor rely too much on thine owne might: For though thy affront be not written in thy fore-head; yet will it be made knowne to all the world. Doe not make those thy enemies, whom with good vsage thou maist make thy friends. For it is not good to haue any enemy at all, though neuer so weake. For from a little sparke, ariseth oftentimes a great flame. What thing's so faire and beautifull in it selfe; what more worthy wise-men; what more befitting braue spirits and valiant Gentlemen; then to measure their action by the rule of reason, to bridle and reine in their passions, and to carry an euen hand in all that they doe; to the end that they may not act any thing vn-aduisedly, and put them∣selues vpon extremities? Doest thou not see, how the world is now altred with our Carrier? He was now as silent as the night, not a word that comes from him. He laughs no more, but hangs downe his head in his bosome, not daring for shame to lift it vp. Our good honest Clergy-men rode mum∣bling their Mattins to themselues; I was thinking on mine owne mis-for∣tunes: and when all and euery one of vs were as it were in a wood, euen in the thickest of all our contemplations, (euery man thinking vpon his owne busi∣nesse) two Ministers of iustice, with their Officers at their heeles, came in pursuit of a Page, that had stolne from his Master great store of money and iewels. And by the markes that were giuen them; it should seeme it was * such another strippling as my selfe. They had no sooner spide me, but they cryde out aloud: Ah thou thiefe, haue we caught thee? wee haue thee safe e∣nough now, thou canst not escape our hands: And presently hereupon they Page  62 strooke me off the Asse (my brother) with their Fists; and when they had me downe, laying fast hold on me, they fell a searching mee, thinking to haue found the stolne-goods about me.

They tooke off the Pack-saddles, searched the Pannels, leauing not so much * roome, as you may put a pins-head betweene, which they did not narrowly pry into: and when they could find nothing there, then they beganne to ex∣claime, and cry out vpon me; Ah, thou thiefe, confesse and tell vs the truth; for we will hang thee here presently, if thou delay vs any longer. They would not heare me, nor admit of any excuse I could make for my selfe; and in despight of the world, without any other cause giuen, (saue their own selfe-will and opinion) I, and no other man, must needs be the fellow. They gaue me many blowes, thumpes on the brest, boxes on the eare with the backes of their hands, and many other outrages, wherewith they tormented * me, and all, that I might not be suffered by them to speake for myselfe, and to pronounce something in mine owne defence. And although it did much grieue me, to see how ill I was vsed by them, yet I could not choose but laugh to my selfe, for that my companion was worse dealt withall; laying more load and harder blowes vpon him, than me, as a receiuer and concealer of this theft, and that he was my partner and sharer therein.

Doest thou not here perceiue the peruerse inclination of men, who haue scarce any feeling of their owne miseries, when they see those of their ene∣mies, to be greater then their owne? I was not halfe Cater-cousins with him, because by his meanes, I had lost my Cloake, and sup't vpon a Mule. And therefore I did beare mine owne hurt the better, because hee suffered some∣what more than my selfe. They did beat him without mercy; they had no pitie of him in the world, but were still bawlling vpon him, that hee should discouer, whither he had carried these goods? and to what secret place hee had conueyd them?

The poore man that was as innocent as my selfe, and as free from any such fault, as the child that is new borne, did not know in the world what to doe. He thought at first that they had beene but in iest with him; but when he saw they were in earnest, and past so farre beyond the bounds of sport, and that it was now no longer a iesting matter, * He curst the dead to the diuell, & all those that should but shed a teare for him. This sport did nothing please him, and wisht by this time with all his heart, that he had neuer seene mee. The Gowne (as they say) was now brusht cleane, not a specke to bee seene; all was vnfolded, and searched ouer and ouer, but nothing at all to bee found: and though the theft appeared not, yet the rigour of their punishing ceased not: But as if they had the Law in their owne hands, or had beene to fit vp∣on vs as our lawfull Iudges, they did vse vs most cruelly both in word and deed: perhaps it was giuen them so in charge amongst other their instructi∣ons. Now they being weary with punching vs, and wee with suffering it, they began to bind our hands, and pinion our armes, to carry vs backe vvith them to Seuill.

Let it be in thy Letany, that God would deliuer thee from committing any offence against these three Holy's; The holy a Inquisition, the holy b Hermandad, and the holy c Crusada: But if thou bee faulty, then pray, That the Lord would deliuer thee from the holy Hermandad: for the other Holy's, hauing (as they haue) vpright Iudges, men of truth, knowledge, and Conscience; their Ministers notwithstanding and vnder-Officers, are of a different condition. And your Sergeants and Catch-poles belonging to the holy Hermandad, are in the generall, a kind of most lewd and wicked people; men without Soules, and not worthy to be spoken of, or named amongst honest men. And very many of them, for a very little matter, will not sticke to sweare that against thee, which thou neuer didst, nor they neuer saw, more then the money which Page  63 they tooke, to beare false witnesse against thee, (vnlesse thou bestow the wine vpon them, or otherwise content them, by greasing their fist.) They are in conclusion, of a rascall kind of race; very Varlets, Buckle-bosomes, Collar-catchers: in a word, they are Sergeants, and Catch-poles; and so by conse∣quence, theeues, passants, or but an Ace lesse; and (as we shall tell you hereaf∣ter) those that rob the Common-wealth where-soeuer they come, as if they had a Commission for these their open thefts. And now (my honest Serge∣ant) me thinkes I heare thee mutter, that I speake amisse; telling mee, that thou (for thy part) art a very honest man, and dost exercise thy Office well, without abuse vnto any. I confesse as much, and say, that thou art such an one, and that I know thee to be so. But tell me, my friend, (and let vs speake it in secret betweene our selues, that no body may heare vs) doest not thou know, (and confesse ingenuously) that this is truth which I speake of thy fellowes? if thou knowst as much, (as thou canst not choose) and that it is so indeed; I talke to them, and not to thee.

Now had we quite lost our Clergy-men, we shooke hands with them at the first, who walked afoot their way, and we ours. Shall I tell you, vvhat I thought with my selfe? if you will giue me the hearing, I will. Trust me, all the blowes that I receiued, nay, Death it selfe, would not haue beene halfe so grieuous vnto me, as to see my selfe brought backe againe, in this manner to mine owne Countrey, if their resolution had held: if they had carried me to any place, where I was vnknowne to it, and it vnto me, it had not beene a Pins-poynt matter. I should haue set light by it, and cast it at my heele, e∣specially considering, that in the end I must be set at libertie, and come off cleare; and that the truth would at last shew it selfe, and make it knowne to the world that I was not the man, they took me to be. We were drawn along like dogges in a paire of couples, afflicted in that manner as thou mayst ima∣gine, (if euer the like misfortune should happen vnto thee.) I know not how it came to passe, (but so it was) that one amongst the rest lookt stedfastly vp∣on me, and said to one that was by him; How now, what's this? I feare mee we haue taken our marke amisse, and through our too much haste, haue run into an errour. The other answered; Why thinke you so? Hee replide; Doe not you know, that he; whom we are to seeke after, wants his left Thumbe; and this Youth you see, is sound in that part? Whereupon they went to read their a Requisitoria, which did set downe the markes, whereby they should know him, and they found they had beene deceiued almost in euery one of them. But questionlesse, they had a great desire to beat some-body, and so fell vpon him that came first to hand. Presently thereupon, they vn-pinion'd vs, and loosed our hands, and crauing pardon, that they were so much mistaken, they went their way, and left vs soundly payd for our paines; taking some few b Quarto's of the Carrier, for the sight of the Commission, to moysten their mouthes herewith, at the next Inne that they should light on.

No ay mal tan malo, de que no resulte algo bueno.

There is no ill so bad, from whence there doth not arise some good. If they had not stolne my Cloake from me, by hauing that vpon my backe, they would not haue perceiued, whether I had beene sound of my thumbes, or no? But had it so falne out, that they should haue come to know any such thing by me, it had come so out of season, that rather then I would haue con∣fest the fact, I would haue first indured a thousand torments. In euery thing I had very good fortune. My money spent, my Cloake stolne, my belly hun∣gry, * my cheekes buffeted, my necke out of ioynt, and my teeth bathed in blood, with the bobs on my nose, and the dashes that they gaue mee on the mouth. My Companion, if he were not worse, was no lesse ill intreated then my selfe. And when they had vs'd vs both thus hardly, to make vs amends, they cry vs mercy, saying; That we are not the men. I pray marke, what a Page  64 pretty kind of pardon this was, and in what good time it came: first, they fall a beating of vs, before they examine vs; and when they haue almost maimed vs, to make vs amends, forsooth, they aske vs forgiuenesse.

The Clergy-men were now neere at hand, we presently ouertake them; they blest themselues when they saw vs. But I vp and told them, what was the cause of our liberty; for my Companion was so bang'd about the chappes, that he durst not dare to speake, for feare he should spit out his grinders.

Euery one got vpon his Asse, and we began to spurre on, but not with our heeles; because with them we were not able to reach to our Saddle-skirts. And I assure you in good faith, it were a world to tell you, what a bargaine we had of it; how the Faire went, and what a market we made of it.

Then said the younger of the two Clerkes; No more of this (my friends) it is enough. That we may forget part of these sorrowes past, and intertaine the way with some merriment; when my Companion hath ended his a De∣uotion, I shall relate a Story vnto you; much whereof happened in Seuill. We tooke it all as a fauour; and the other hauing now ended his Orizons, atten∣ding this Discourse with a deepe silence, and an earnest desire, wee lookt still when he should begin.