All the vvorkes of Iohn Taylor the water-poet Beeing sixty and three in number. Collected into one volume by the author: vvith sundry new additions corrected, reuised, and newly imprinted, 1630.

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Title
All the vvorkes of Iohn Taylor the water-poet Beeing sixty and three in number. Collected into one volume by the author: vvith sundry new additions corrected, reuised, and newly imprinted, 1630.
Author
Taylor, John, 1580-1653.
Publication
At London :: Printed by I[ohn] B[eale, Elizabeth Allde, Bernard Alsop, and Thomas Fawcet] for Iames Boler; at the signe of the Marigold in Pauls Churchyard,
1630.
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"All the vvorkes of Iohn Taylor the water-poet Beeing sixty and three in number. Collected into one volume by the author: vvith sundry new additions corrected, reuised, and newly imprinted, 1630." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A13415.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed May 23, 2025.

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Page 124

TAYLORS FAREVVELL, TO THE TOWER BOTTLES.

THE ARGVMENT.

ABout three hundred and twenty yeares since, or thereabout, (I thinke in the Raigne of King Richard the Second) there was a guift giuen to the Tower, or to the Lieutenants thereof, for the time then and for euer beeing, which guift was two blacke Leather Bottles, or Bombards of Wine, from euery Ship that brought Wine into the Riuer of Thames; the which hath so continued vntill this day, but the Merchants finding themselues agreeued lately, because they thought the Bottles were made bigger then they were formerly wont to bee; did wage Law with the Lieutenant (Sir Geruis Helwis by Name) in which sute the Lieutenant had beene ouerthrowne, but for such witnesses as I found that knew his right for a long time in their owne knowledge. But I hauing had the gathering of these Wines for many yeares, was at last Discharged from my place because I would not buy it, which be∣cause it was neuer bought or sold before, I would not or durst not venture vpon so vnhonest a Nouelty, it beeing sold indeed at so hugh a Rate, that who so bought it must pay thrice the value of it: where∣vpon I tooke occasion to take leaue of the Bottles in this following Poem, in which the Reader must bee very melancholy, if the reading heereof doth not make him very merry.

IOHN TAYLOR.

BY your leaue Gentlemen, Ile make some sport, Although I venture halfe a hang∣ing for't: But yet I will no peace or manners breake For I to none but Leather bottles speake. No anger spurres me forward, or despight Insomuch plaine Verse I talke of wrong and Right. The looser may speake, when the Winner wins, And madly merrily my Muse begins. Mad Bedlam Tom, assist me in thy Rags, Lend me thy Army of foule Feinds and Hags: Hobgoblins, Elues, faire Fayries, and foule Furies, Let me haue twelue Groce of Infernail luries, With Robin. Gooasellow and bloudie Borre Assist my merry Muse, all, euery one. I will not call to thea 1.1 Pegassian Nine, In this they shall not ayde me in a Line: Their fauours I'le reserue till fitter time, To grace some better businesse with my Rime, Plaine home-spun stuffe shall now proceed from me, Much like vnto the picture of web 1.2 Three.
And now I talke of three, just three we are, Two false blacke bottles, and my selfe at jarre, And Reader when yon reade our cause of strife, You'le laugh or else lye downe, l'le lay my life, But as remembrance lamely can rehearse, In sport Ile rip the matter vp in Verse. Yet first I thinke it fit here downe to set By what meanes first. I with those Bottles met. Then stroake your beard my Maisters and giue eare, I was a Waterman twice Foure long yeare, And liu'd in a Contented happy state, Then turn'd the whirling wheele of fickle Fate,

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From Water vnto Wine: Sir William Waad D•••• freely, and for nothing turne my trade. Ten yeares almost the place I did Retaine, Andc 1.3 glean'd great Bacchus bloud from France and Spaine, Few Sips my visitation did escape, That brought the spright fuil liquor of the Grape: My Bottles and my selfe did oft agree, Full to the top all merry came We three.
Yet alwayes 'twas my chance in Bacchus spight, To come into the Tower vnfox'd vpright. But as mens thoughts a world of wayes doe range, So as Lieutenancs chang'd, did customesd 1.4 change:
The Ancient vse vs'd many yeares before, Was sold, vnto the highest Rate and more, At such a price, that whosoe're did giue, Must play the Thiefe, or could not sae and liue. Which to my losse, I manifestly found I am well sure it cost me thirty pound For one yeare but before the next yeare come, 'Twas almost mounted to ae 1.5 double summe:
Then I, in Scorne, Contempt, and vile Disgrace, Discarded was, and quite thrust from my place, There Bacchus almost cast me in the mire, And I from Wine to Water did retire. But when the blinde misiudging world did see, The strange vnlook'd for parting of vs Three, To heare but how the multitude did judge, How they did mutter, mumble, prate and grudge, That for somef 1.6 faults I surely had committed, I, in disgrace thus from my place was quitted. These imputations grieu'd me to the heart, (For they were caustesse and without desert) And therefore, though no man aboue the Ground That knew the Botles would giue Twentyg 1.7 pound Rather then I would branded be with shame, And beare the burthen of desertlesse blame, To be an Owle, contempuously bwondred, I wouldh 1.8 giue threescore, fourescore, or a hundred. For I did vow, although I were vndone, I would redeeme my credit ouetrunne, And 'tis much better in a layle to rot, To suffer Begg'ry, Slauery, or what not, Then to be blasted with that wrong of wrongs, Which is the poyson of Backbiting tongues. Hoysted aloft vnto this mounting tax, Bound fast in Bonds in Parchment and with waxe, Time gallop'd, and brought on the payment day, And for three Moneths I eighteene pounds did pay Then I confesse, I play'd the Thiefe in graine, And for one Bottle commonly stole twaine. But so who buyes the place, and meanes to thriue, Must many times for one take foure or fiue. For this I will maintaine and verifie, It is an office no true man can buy. And by that reason sure I should say well, It is vnfit for any man to sell: For till at such an extreame rate I bought, To filch or steale, I scarcely had a thought. And I dare make a vow 'fore God and men, I neuer playd the Thiefe so much as then. But at the last my friendly starres agreed, That from my heauy bonds I should bei 1.9 freed: Which if I euer come into againe, Let hanging be the Guerdon for my paine. Then thek 1.10 old custome did againe begin, And to the Tower I brought the Bottles in, For which for seruing more then halfe a yeare, I (with much Loue) had wages and good cheere, Till onel 1.11 most valiant, ignorantly stout, Did buy, and ouer-buy, and buy me out. Thus like times Footeball, was I often tost In Dock out Nettle, vp downe, blest and crost, Out-fac'd and fac'd, grac'd and againe disgrac'd, And as blind Fortune pleas'd, displac'd or plac'd. And thus, for ought mym 1.12 Augury can se Diuorc'd and parted euer are we Three. Old Nabaoth, my case much is farre worse then thine, Thou but the Vineyard lost, I lost the Wine: Two witnesses (for bribes) the false accus'd, (Perhaps) some prating Knaues haue me abus'd: Yet thy wrong's more then mine, the reason why, For thou wastn 1.13 ston'd to Death, so am not I. But as the Dogs, did eate the flesh and gore Of Iezabell, that Royall painted Whore, So may the Gallowes eate some friends of mine, That first striu'd to remoue me from the Wine.

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This may by some misfortune be their lot, Although that any way I wish it not. But farewell bottles neuer to returne, Weepe you in Sacke, whilst I in Al will mourne; Yet though you haue no reason, wit, or sence, I'le sencelesse caide you for your vile offence, That from your foster Father me would slide So dwell with Ignorance, a blind sold guide. For who in Britaine knew (buto 1.14 I) to vse you, And who but I knew how for to abuse you; My speech to you, no action sure can beare, From Scandala magratum I am cleare. When Vpland Tradesmen thus dares take in hand A watry businesse, they not vnderstand: It did presage things would turne topsie turny, And the conclusion of it would be scuruie, But leauing him vnto the course of Fate, Bottles let you and I a while debate, Call your extrauagat wild humours home, And thinke but whom you are departed from; I that for your sakes haue giuen stabs and stripes, To glue you sucke from Hogsheads and from Pipes, I that with pines and care you long haue nurst, Oft fill'd you with the best, and left the worst. And to maintaine you full, would often peirce, The best of Batts, a Puncheon, or a Teirce, Whil'st Pipes and Sack buts were the Instruments That I playdon, to fill your full contents. With Bastart, Sack, with Allegant, and Rhenish, Your hungry mawes I often did replenish. With Malmesie, Muskadell, and Corcica, With White, Red, Claret, and Liatica, With Hollocke, Sherant, Mallig, Canara, I stufe your sides vp with a surserara, That though the world was hard, my care was still, To search and labour you might haue your fill, That when my Master did or sup or dine, He had his choyce ofp 1.15 fifteene sorts of Wine. And as good wines they were I dare be bold. As any Seller in this Land did hold. Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring. Besitting for the Castle of a King. This Royastie my labour did maintaine. When I had meat and wages for my paine. Ingratefull Bettles, take it not amisse That I, of your vnkindnesse tell you this, Sure if you could speake, you could say in briefe, Your greatest want, was still my greatest griefe. Did I not often in my bosome hugge you, And in mine armes would (like a Father) hugge you, Haue I not run through Tempests, Gusts, and Stormes. And me with danger in strange various former, All times and tydes, with, and against the streame. Your welfare euer was my labours sheame. Sleet, Raine, Haile, Winde, or Winters frosty chaps, Ioues Lightning, or his dreadfull Thunderclaps, When all the Elements in one consoire, Sad earth, sharpe ayre, rough water, flashing fire. Haue warr'd on one another, as if all This world of nothing, would to nothing fall. When showring Haile-shot, from the storming heau'n Nor blustering Gusts by AEols belching driuen, Could hold me backe, then oft I searcht and sought, And found, and vnto you the purchase brought. All weathers, faire, foule, Sunshine, wet and dry, I trauail'd still, your paunches to supply. Oft haue I fought, and swagger'd in your Right, And fill'd you still by eyther sleight or might. And in th'Exchequer I stood for your Cause, Else had you beene confounded by the Lawes. I did produce suchq 1.16 witnesses which crost The Merchants sute, else you had quite beene lost, And (but for me) apparantly 'tis knowne, You had beene Kicksie winsie ouer throwne, And for my Seruice and my much paines taken, I am cashier'd, abandon'd, and forsaken. I knew it well, and said, and swore it too. That he that bought you, would himselfe vndoe, And I was promist, that when he gaue o're, That I should fill you, as I did before, For which foure yeares with patience I did stay, Expecting he would breake or run away. Which though it be falne out as I expected, Yet neuerthelesse my Seruice is rejected, Let men judge if I haue not cause to write Against my Fortune, and the worlds despight, That in my prime of strengh, so long ar 1.17 space, I toyl'd and drudg'd, in such a gainelesse place, Whereas the best part of my life I spent, And to my power gaue euery man content, In all which time which I did then remaine, I gaue no man occasion to complaine, For vnto all that know me, I appeale, To speake if well or ill I vs'd to deale, Or if there be the least abuse in me, For which I thus from you should sundred bee. For though my profit by you was but small, Yet sure my Gaine was Loue in generall. And that I doe not lye nor speake amisse, I can bring hundreds that can witnesse this, Yet for all this, I euer am put off, And made a scorne, a By-word and a scoffe. It must some villaines information be, That hath maliciously abused me,

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But if I knew the misinformingelfe. I would write lines should make him hang himselfe. Be he a great man that doth vse me ill, (That makes his will his Law, and Law his will) I hold a poore man may that great man tell, How that in doing ill, he doth not well, But Bottles blacke, once more haue at your breech, For vnto you I onely bend my speech Full foureteene times had Sols illustrious Rayes, Ran through the Zodiacke, when I spent my dayes To conserue, reserue, prestrue and deserue, Your loues, whē you with wants were like to starue. A Groce of Moones, and twice 12. months besides, I haue attended you all time and tides. •••• I gain'd Twelue. penez by you all that time, May I to Tyburne for promotion Climbe, For though the blinde world vnderstand it not, I know there's nothing by you can be got, Except a drunken pate, a scuruy word, And now and then be tumbled ouer boord, And though these mischiefes I haue kept me fro, No other Bottleman could e're doe so, 'Tis knowne you haue beene stab'd, throwne in the Thames, And he that fild you beaten, with exclaimes, Marchants, who haue much abused bin Which Exigents, I neuer brought you in, But I with peace and quietn •••••• got more, Then any brabling o're could doe before. The Warders knowes, each Bottleman (but I) Had alwayes a crack'd crowns •••••• blacke eye, Oft beaten like a Dog, with a sarch'd faee. Turn'd empty, beaten backe with vile disgrace. These iniuries my selfe did bring •••• qiet, And still with peace I fild you free from Ryot. My labours haue beene ded care to you, And you haue dealt with me, as with a Iew, For vnto thousand witnsss 'tis knowne. I did esteeme your welfare as mine owne, But an obiection from my words may runne, That seeing nothing by you may be wonne, Why I doe keepe this deale of doe about you When as I say, I can li•••• best wi••••o t you. I answer, though no profit you doe bring, Yet there is many a profitable thing, Which I ofs 1.18 M••••••••s migh often buy, Which vnto me would yeeld c••••••d••••ty And I expected when the time should be That I should fill you, as 'tw•••• promt me, Whereby some other profit might be got, Which I in formr times rem••••••••d not, All which could do the C••••to•••• ••••••••••t 1.19 no wrong, Which to repeate here, would •••• ouer-long, But I was slighted with most vile disgrace, And one that was my Prentise place'd inu 1.20 place.x 1.21 But holla, holla, Muse come backe come backe, I speake to none out you, you Bottles blacke, You that are now turn'd Monsters, most ingrate, Where you haue cause to loue most, most doe hate, You that are of good manners quite dpriu'd, Worse then the Beast from whence you are deriu'd, If you be good for nothing but what's naught, Then sure you haue bin better sed then taught: Besides the world will taxe me, and say still The fault was mine, that nurtur'd you o ill. Perfisting thus in your iniurious wrong. It shewes y'are drunke with being E•••••• long. Long fasting sure, hath made you wea and dull, For you are stedyest, when you are most full. Me thinkes I heare you say the fault's no yours, You are commanded by Superiou powers, But if the choyce were yours, you had much rather That I, than any one the Wines should gather. Alasse poore fooles, I see your force is weake, Complaine you cannot, wanting power to speake; If you had speech, it may be you would tell, How with you and the Merchants I dealt well, But 'tis no matter though you silent be, My fourteene yeares long seruice speakes for me. And for the Merchants still my friends did proue, I'le tell them somewhat to reqite their Loue. First let their wisdomes but collect and summe, How many ships with wine doe yearely come, And they will finde that all these Bottles shall Not filly 1.22 nine Hogsheads, at the most of all, Then he that for them Three Tonne dares to giue, The ease is plie, he must or beg or thieue. I doe not say that you haue beene abus'd, But you may partly guesse how you were vs'd, Indeedz 1.23 I thinke we nere so soone had parted, Had friendly outsides bin but friendly harted, The sweet bate couers the dceiuing hookes, And false harts can put on good wards and lookes. All is not gold the Prouerbesayes that g••••••ters, And I could with their tongues were full of Blisters, That with their flatt'ring diligence most double, Themselues, and you, and I, thus much did trouble, For misinforming plry Knaues must be The inst••••••n•••• of such indignity. But as the fairest Gardens haue some weeds And mongst the cleanest flocke, some cab'd sheepe breeds. Or as the Tare amongst the wheat doth grow, Good onely for what's ill, yet makes a show.

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So there's no greatnesse fixed on the ground, But Claw backe Sycophants may there be found, For 'tis a Maxime held in euery Nation, Great men are waited on by Adulation, No doubt but some doth to the Court resort, And sure the Tower must imitate the Court, As Caesars Pallace may (perhaps) haue many, So Caesars Castle cannot say not any. I haue found some that with each wind would moe With harts all hatred, and with tongues all Loue, Who with hats mou'd, would take me by the fist, With Complements of honest Iacke how ist? I'm glad to see thee well with all my heart, Long haue I long'd to drinke with thee a quart, I haue beleeu'd this Drosse had beene pure Gold, When presently I haue beene bought and sold Behind my backe (for no desert and Cause) By those that kindly Cap'd and kist their Clawer. For one of them (an ancient Reuerend Scribe) Receiued forty shillings for a Bribe, On purpose so to bring the case about To put another in, and thrust me out, Long was the time this businesse was a brewing, Vntill fit oportunity accruing, I was displac'd, yet spight the bribed Sharke, The man that gaue the bribe did misse the marke. O Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Platoes Diuine workes, not great Aristoteles, Did ne're make mention of a guist so Royall, Was euer bought and sold like slaues disloyall. For since King Richard second of that name, (I thinke your high Prerogatius you Claime: And thus much here to write I dare be bold You are a guist not giuen to be sold, For sence or reason neuer would allow, That you should e're be bought and sold till now. Phylosophers with all their Documents, Not aged Times with all their monuments, Did euer mention such vntoward Elues, That did more idlely cast away themselues. To such low ebbe your basenesle now doth shrinke, Whereas you yearely did make thousands drinke. The hatefull title now to you is left, Y'are instruments of begg'ry and of Theft. But when I fild you (I dare boldly sweate) From all these imputations you were cleare, Against which I dare, dare, who dare or can, To answer him and meet him man to man, Truth armes me, with the which I will hold Bias, Against the shocke of any false Golias. Bottles you haue not wanted of your fill, Since you haue left me, by your heedlesle will. You scarce haue tasted penury or want, (For cunning Theeues are seldome ignorant) Yet many times you haue beene fild with trash, Scarce good enough your dirty skins to wash. All this I know, and this I did deuine, But all's one, Draffe is good enough for Swine. I doe not here inueigh, or yet Enuy, The places profit, none can come thereby, And in my hand it lyes (if so I please) To spoyle it, and not make it worth a Pease. And to the world I'le cause it to appeare. VVho e're giues for you twenty pounds a yeare Must from the Marchants pilfer fourescore more, Or else he cannot liue and pay the score. And to close vp this point, I say in briefe, VVho buyes it is a Begger or a Thiefe, Or else a Foole, or to make all agree, He may be Foole, Thiefe, Begger, all the Three, So you false Bottles to you both adieu, The Thames for me, not a Denier for you.
FINIS.

Notes

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