Scena Quinta.
Bardolfe I say.
Heere Sir.
Go, fetch me a quart of Sacke, put a tost in't. Haue I liu'd to be carried in a Basket like a barrow of butchers Offall? and to be throwne in the Thames? Wel, if I be seru'd such another tricke, Ile haue my braines 'tane out and butter'd, and giue them to a dogge for a New-yeares gift. The rogues slighted me into the riuer with as little remorse, as they would haue drown'de a blinde bitches Puppies, fifteene i' th litter: and you may know by my size, that I haue a kinde of alacrity in sink∣ing: if the bottome were as deepe as hell, I shold down. I had beene drown'd, but that the shore was sheluy and shallow: a death that I abhorre: for the water swelles a man; and what a thing should I haue beene, when I had beene swel'd? I should haue beene a Mountaine of Mummie.
Here's M. Quickly Sir to speake with you.
Come, let me poure in some Sack to the Thames water: for my bellies as cold as if I had swallow'd snow∣bals, for pilles to coole the reines. Call her in.
Come in woman.
With Egges, Sir?
Simple of it selfe: Ile no Pullet-Spersme in my brewage. How now?
Marry Sir, I come to your worship from M. Ford.
Mist. Ford? I haue had Ford enough: I was thrown into the Ford; I haue my belly full of Ford.
Alas the day, (good-heart) that was not her fault: she do's so take on with her men; they mistooke their erection.
So did I mine, to build vpon a foolish Womans promise.
Well, she laments Sir for it, that it would yern your heart to see it: her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her, be∣tweene eight and nine: I must carry her word quickely, she'll make you amends I warrant you.
Well, I will visit her, tell her so: and bidde her thinke what a man is: Let her consider his frailety, and then iudge of my merit.
I will tell her.
Do so. Betweene nine and ten saist thou?
Eight and nine Sir.
Well, be gone: I will not misse her.
Peace be with you Sir.
I meruaile I heare not of Mr Broome: he sent me word to stay within: I like his money well. Oh, heere be comes.
Blesse you Sir.
That indeed (Sir Iohn) is my businesse.
And sped you Sir?
very ill-fauouredly M. Broome.
How so sir, did she change her determination?
No (M. Broome) but the peaking Curnuto her hus∣band (M. Broome) dwelling in a continual larum of ielou∣sie, coms me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embrast, kist, protested, & (as it were) spoke the prologue of our Comedy: and at his heeles, a rabble of his compa∣nions, thither prouoked and instigated by his distemper, and (forsooth) to serch his house for his wiues Loue.
What? While you were there?
While I was there.
And did he search for you, & could not find you?
You shall heare. As good lucke would haue it, comes in one Mist. Page▪ giues intelligence of Fords ap∣proch: and in her inuention, and Fords wiues distraction, they conuey'd me into a bucke-basket.