To chose ¶ The maner to chose and cherysshe a frende.

TO fylle vp the padges, that els wold haue ben voide, I thought it shuld nother hurt nor displese, to adde herevnto a fewe sayenges / howe a man shulde chose and cherysshe a frende.

Cicero saith, that Scipio cōpleyned gretly / that men were more diligent in al thynges / than in frendshyppe: euery man knoweth howe many gotes and shepe he hath, but no man can telle howe many frendes he hath: And in the getting of other thinges men vse great care and diligence / but in chosynge of frendes they be verye negligent, nor they haue not as it were markes and tokens / by the which they may deme those that are fete to be receyued in to frendshyppe. The boke sayth / haue not frendshyppe with an yrefull man / nor with a fole: but as Cicero saythe, men firme, and stable, and constant / shulde be taken in to frendshyppe. Of the whiche sorte is great scarsite and lacke / and to iuge whiche they be, is a very harde thynge, ex∣cept we make a proffe, and we can not make Page  14 a proffe therof tyll we be entred in to frend¦shyp. So, frendshyp goth before iugement.

Some there be, that a smal sōme of money shal shewe how sure frendes they be. Some there are / whiche a littel thinge can not re∣moue, & yet they be knowen in a great nede.

And if we happe to fynde a frende / that de¦meth it a foule and a shamfull thynge to set more by money than by frēdshyp: yet wher shal we finde thē / that wyl not more esteme honours, rowmes, lordships, powers, and abundāce of riches, than frendship? But as the same Cicero saithe, nother profittes, ho∣nours, riches, plesures / nor none other such like thinges, shulde be more set by than frēd¦ships. But yet he that is a good man, shal do nothing for his frendes sake, that is either a¦gainst the cōmon welthe, or els agaynst his othe or fidelite. For the offence is not excu∣sable, to say, thou dyddest it for thy frendes sake. And yet the same Cicero, as Gellius doth recite his wordis, saith, that where our frende standethe in ieopardye eyther of his life or of his good renowme / we may some what swarue a syde out of the waye. But what so euer Gellius saith, Cicero teacheth plainly, that we shulde require nothynge of our frende / but that that is honest.

Page  [unnumbered]And nowe concernynge the truste that we ought to haue in our frende, Seneca sayth: He that estemethe any man his frende, the which he can not trust so moche as him selfe, doth deceiue hym selfe. And he that maketh and proueth his frende festynge at the table doth fayle. It is vertue, say the Cicero, the whiche bothe wynneth and entertaynethe frendes. A man shulde reason and debate al thinges with his frende, but fyrst he shulde debate and reason with hym, whether he be a frende or no. No man nedeth to mystrust frendship / but fyrste let hym examyne and deme, whether it be frendshyp or not.

They do agaynst the preceptes of Theo∣phraste, the whiche loue before they iuge, and not after they haue demed. Thou shul∣deste a longe tyme consydre, whether thou shuldest take any in to thy frendshyppe. and whan it liketh the so to do, than receiue him with all thy very harte, and talke as boldly with him, as though thou were alone. But yet lyue thou after suche fachion, that thou cōmitte nothynge to hym / but that that thou woldest cōmitte to an enmie. But for bicause there be certayne businesses / the whiche cu∣stome maketh secrete, make thy frēde priuie to al thy cares and thoughtes. Thou shalte Page  15 do thus, if thou suppose hym to be sure and faythfull. For many shewe the maner and waye to deceiue, while they fere to be decei∣ued. And some tell them that they mete by the way, & blowe in euery mans eare, it that shulde only be opened & shewed to frendes. Agayne some also drede so moche the con∣science of their mooste dere frendes, that if they may, they woll kepe close within them all their secretenes, bycause they woll not put them in truste therwith. None of these two wayes is to be taken / for eche of them both is nought, to truste euery body / and to truste no man. Of whiche two fautes the fyrste is the more honest / and the other the more sure. And thoughe the wyse man be content with hym selfe / yet woll he haue a frende, and it be for none other cause, but to exercise frendshyppe / leste so great a vertue shulde lye asyde. Not for that that Epicure saythe / that he may haue one to tende hym whan he is sicke, or els that maye succoure hym, if he be cast in prison / or be poure and nedy, but that he may haue one / whom sicke and diseased he may tende vpon, and whom he may delyuer out of warde / if he happe to come in his enmyes handes. He that re∣gardeth hym selfe / and for his owne sake Page  [unnumbered] seketh frendshyppe, he intendeth yuell: and lyke as he begynneth, so shall he ende. He thynketh he hath got a frende to helpe hym out of prison, whiche, whan he hereth the chaynes rattel, goth his way. These frend∣shyps, as the people sayth, dure for a tyme. He that is receyued into frendshyp for loue of profyte, as longe as he is profytable, he pleaseth. It is nedeful that the begynnyng and endynge of frendshyp, shulde agre. He that begynneth to be a frende, by cause it is expedient for hym, some price shall please hym agaynst frendshyp, if there be any price in it / that may please him aboue frendshyp. Thou sayste, To what intent shulde I pre∣pare a frende? I answere, that thou maist haue one, whom thou mayste accompany, whan he is banisshed / for whom thou mayst put thy selfe in daunger of dethe. For the tother is rather a shapmanshyp than a frend¦shyppe, whiche hath a respecte to profette, and considereth, what auayle he maye gette therby. There is nothynge, that so moche deliteth the mynde, as faythfull frendshyp. And he is well happy / that fyndeth a trewe frende, saythe the boke. O howe great is the goodnes / whan the breastis be prepared redye, in to the whiche all secretenes maye Page  16 surely descende, whose conscience thou dre∣dest lesse than thyne owne, whose talkynge easeth the grefe and heuynes of thy harte / the sentence gyueth redy and quicke coun∣saile / the chere dassheth the inwarde sorow, and the very regarde and beholdynge deli∣teth? And bycause the vse of frendshyppe is variable and manyfolde, and there be many causes gyuen of suspicion and offence, the whiche is a wise mans parte to eschewe, to helpe / and to suffre. Frendes muste ofte be monisshed, and rebuked, and that muste be taken frendly / whan hit is done of good wyll. But for so moche as Terence saythe, Trouthe bredeth hate / whiche is as a poy∣son to frendshyppe / we must take hede, that our monition be not sowre, and that the re∣buke be without vile wordes. For vile re∣bukes, as the boke sayth, for doth frendship.