A meere Common Lawyer

IS the best shadow to make a discreet one shew the fairer. He is a Materia prima informed by reports, actuated Page  [unnumbered] by Statutes, and hath his Motion by the fauourable Intelligence of the Court. His Law is alwaies furnisht with a Commission to arraigne his Conscience: but vpon iudgement gi∣uen he vsually sets it at large. He thinks no language worth knowing but his Barragoüin. Onely for that point hee hath been a long time at warres with Priscian for a Northerne Prouince. He imagines that by superexcellencie his profession only is learning, and that its a prophanation of the temple to his Themis dedicated, if any of the liberall Arts be there admitted to offer strange incense to Her. For indeed he is all for money. Seuen or eight yeares squires him out, some of his Nation lesse stan∣ding: and euer since the Night of his Call, he forgot much what he was at dinner. The next morning his man (in Actu or potentia) enioies his picka∣dels. His Landresse is then shrewdly troubled in fitting him a Ruffe; His perpetuall badge. His loue letters of Page  [unnumbered] the last yeare of his Gentlemanship are stuft with Discontinuances, Remitters, and Vncore prists: but now being ena∣bled to speake in proper person, hee talkes of a French hood, insteede of a Iointure, wages his law, and ioines issue. Then he begins to sticke his let∣ters in his ground Chamber window; that so the superscription may make his Squire-ship transparent. His He∣raldry giues him place before the Mi∣nister, because the Law was before the Gospell. Next termne hee walkes his hoopsleeue gowne to the Hall; there it proclaimes him. He feedes fat in the Reading, and till it chances to his turn, dislikes no house order so much, as that the month is so contracted to a fortnight, Mongst his countrey neigh∣bours, he arrogates asmuch honor for being Reader of an Inne of Chance∣ry, as if it had been of his owne house. For they, poore soules, take Law and Conscience, Court and Chancery for all one. He learnd to frame his Cases Page  [unnumbered] from putting Riddles and imitating Merlins Prophesies, and so set all the Crosse row together by the eares. Yet his whole Law is not able to decide Lucians one olde controuersie twixt Tau and Sigma. Hee accounts no man of his Cap and coate idle, but who trots not the Circuit. Hee affects no life or qualitie for it selfe, but for gaine; and that at least, to the stating him in a Iustice of peaceship, which is the first quickning soule superadded to the ele∣mentary and inanimate forme of his new Title. His termes are his wiues vacations. Yet shee then may vsurpe diuers Court-daies, and hath her Re¦turnes in Mensem, for writs of entry; often shorter. His vacations are her Termers. But in Assise time (the cir∣cuit being long) he may haue a triall at home against him by Nisi Prius. No way to heauen, he thinkes, so wife, as through West-minster Hall; and his Clarkes commonly through it visit both heauen and hell. Yet then he oft Page  [unnumbered] forgets his iourneis end, although he looke on the Starre-Chamber. Neither is hee wholie destitute of the Arts. Grammer he hath, enough to make ter∣minations of those words which his authoritie hath endenizon'd. Rhetorike some; but so little, that its thought a concealement. Logike enough to wran∣gle. Arithmetike enough for the Ordi∣nals of his yecre-bookes, and number∣rolls: but he goes not to Multiplication; there's a Statute against it. So much Geometrie, that hee can aduice in a Pe∣rambulatione facienda; or a Rationalibus diuisis. In Astronomie and Astrologie he is so far seene, that by the Dominicall latter, he knowes the Holy-dayes, and finds by Calculation that Michaelmas Terme will be long and dirty. Marry, he knowes so much in Musique, that he affects onely the most and cunningest Discords; rarely a perfect Concord, espe∣cially song, except in fine. His skill in Perspectiue endeauours much to de∣ceiue the eye of the Lawe, and giues Page  [unnumbered] many false colours. He is specially pra∣ctised in Necromancie, (such a kinde as is out of the Statute of Primo) by raising many dead Questions. What sufficien∣cy he hath in Criticisme, the fowle Co∣pies of his Speciall Pleas will tell you.

Many of the same coat, which are much to bee honoured, partake of di∣uers of his indifferent qualities, but so, that Discretion, Vertue, and sometimes other good learning, concurring and di∣stinguishing Ornaments to them, make them as a foyle, to set their worth on.