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IS a thing that hath beene a man in his dayes. Olde men are to bee knowen blind-folded: for their talke is as terri∣ble as their resemblance. They praise their own times as vehemently, as if they would sell them. They become wrinck∣led with frowning and facing youth; they admire their old customes, euen to the eating of red herring, and going wet∣shod. They call the thumbe vnder the girdle, Grauity; and because they can
hardly smell at all, their Posies are vnder their girdles. They count it an Ornament of speech, to close the period with a cough; and it is venerable, they say, to spend time in wiping their driueled beards. Their discourse is vnanswerable, by reason of their obstinacy: their speech is much, though little to the purpose. Trueths and lies passe with an equall af∣firmation, for their memories seuerall is wonne into one receptacle, and so they come out with one sense. They teach their seruants their duties with as much scorne and tyranny, as some people teach their dogs to fetch. Their enuy is one of their diseases. They put off and on their clothes, with that certainty, as if they knew, their heads would not direct them, and therefore Custome should. They take a pride in halting and going stiffely, and therefore their staues are carued and tipped: they trust their attire with much of their grauity; and they dare not goe without a gowne in Summer. Their hats are brushed to draw mens eyes off from
their faces; but of all, their Pomandars are worne to most purpose, for their pu∣trified breath ought not to want either a smell to defend, or a dog to excuse.