Haue vvith you to Saffron-vvalden. Or, Gabriell Harueys hunt is vp Containing a full answere to the eldest sonne of the halter-maker. Or, Nashe his confutation of the sinfull doctor. The mott or posie, in stead of omne tulit punctum: pacis fiducia nunquam. As much to say, as I sayd I would speake with him.

The life and godly education from his childhood of that thrice famous clarke, and morthie Orator and Poet Gabriell Haruey.

GAbriell Haruey, of the age of fortie eight or vp∣wards, (Turpe senex miles, tis time for such an olde foole to leaue playing the swash-buckler) was borne at Saffron walden, none of the obscurest Townes in Essex. For his parentage, I will say as P••∣lidore Virgill saith of Cardinall VVolsey, Parentem ha∣buit v••rum probum, at lanium, he had a reasonable ho∣nest man to his father, but he was a butcher; so Gabri∣ell Haruey had one Good-man Haruey to his ••ather, a true subiect, that paid scot and lot in the Parish where he dwelt, with the best of them, but yet he was a Rope∣maker: Id quod reminisci nolebat (as Polidore goes for∣ward) vt rem utique persona illius indignam, that which is death to Gabriell to remember, as a matter euerie way derogatorie to his person, quare secum totos dies cogit abat, qualis esset, non vnde esset; wherefore, from time to time he doth nothing but turmoile his thoghts how to raise his estate, and inuent new petegrees, and

what great Noble-mans bastard hee was likely to bee, not whose sonne he is reputed to bee.

Consil:

Giue me leaue before thou readst any further. I would not wish thee so to vpbraid him with his birth, which if he could remedie it were another matter: but it is his Fortune and Natures, & neither his fathers fault nor his.

Resp••••d:

Neither as his fathers nor his fault doo I vrge 〈◊〉〈◊〉, otherwise than it is his fault to beare himselfe too arrogantly aboue his birth, and to contemne and forget the house from whence he came; which is the reason that hath induced mee (as well in this Treat••se as my former Writings) to remember him of it, not as anie such hainous discredit simply of it selse, if his 〈…〉〈…〉 pride were not;

〈◊〉〈◊〉 Namo genus & pronaues, & quae non secim•••• 〈…〉〈…〉

It is no true glorie of ours what our fore-fathers did, no•• are we to answere for anie sinnes of theirs. De∣mosthenes was the sonne of a Cutler, Socrates of a Mid∣wife; which detracted neyther from the ones elo∣quence, nor the others wisedome: (farre be it that ey∣ther in eloquence or wisedome I should compare G••∣briell to either of them) Marry for 〈◊〉〈◊〉 or Socrates to be ashamed or take it in high d••ri•••• (which they neuer did) the one to be said to haue a Cutler to his father; or the other that hee had a Mid∣wife to his mother (as H••r••ey doth to haue himselfe or anie of his brothers called the sonnes of a Rope maker, which by his own priuate confession to some of my friends, was the onely thing that most set him a fire against me): I wil•• ••••stify it, might argue thē or him more inferio•• & despi∣cable,

than anye Cutler, Mid-wife, or Rope maker. Turne ouer his two bookes he hath published against me, (where on he hath clapt paper Gods p••entie, if that would presse a man to death) and see if in the waye of answer or otherwise he once mention the word rope∣maker, or come within fortie foot of it: except in one place of his first booke where hee nameth it not nei∣ther, but goes thus cleanly to worke, (as her••tofore I haue set downe) though hee 〈…〉〈…〉 no roome in the expence of 36. Sheetes of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 to resute it. And may 〈…〉〈…〉 his father? (a Periphrasis of a Rope maker, which (if should shryue my selfe) •• neuer heard before). This is once, I haue given him cause enough I wot 〈◊〉〈◊〉 haue stumbled 〈…〉〈…〉, and take 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of it; for where in his first bo•••••• hee•• 〈◊〉〈◊〉 begger in my dish 〈◊〉〈◊〉 third sillable, and so like an Emperour triump••s ouer mee, as though he had the Philosophers Stone to play at foot bal with, & I were a poore Alchumist new•• 〈◊〉〈◊〉, that had s••arce money to buy 〈◊〉〈◊〉 for my fornace. In kind g••er don and requitall, h••olde him in Piers 〈◊〉〈◊〉 That be 〈…〉〈…〉 (like the 〈…〉〈…〉 for he was but the sonne of a Rope-maker; 〈…〉〈…〉 would not ••ave a shoo to put on his feete if his father' had 〈…〉〈…〉. And in an••ther place, where he brought the Towne Seale or next Iustices where he brought the Towne Seale or next I 〈◊〉〈◊〉 hands (as it were) to witnes▪ that his father was an ho∣nest man; which no man denide or impaired anie sur∣ther, than saying, 〈…〉〈…〉

which is more, three proud sonnes, that when they met the hang man (their fathers best 〈◊〉〈◊〉 stomer) would not put off their hatts to him; with other by glances, to the like effect: which he silently ouer-skippeth, to withdraw men (lapwing like) from his neast, as much as might bee. Onely hee tells a foolish twittle twattle boasting tale, (amidst his impudent brazen-fac'd defamation of Doctor 〈◊〉〈◊〉) of the Funerall of his kinsman Sir Tho∣•••••• Smith, (which word kinsman, I wonderd he causd not to be set in great capitall letters), and how in those Obsequies he was a chiefe Mourner. I wis his father was of a more humble spirit; who in gratefull lieu and remembrance of the hempen mysterie that hee was beholding too, and the patrons and places that were his trades chiefe maintainers and supporters, proui••ded that the first letter each of his sonnes names began with, should allude and correspond with the chrese marts of his traffick, & of his profession & occupati∣on▪ as Gabriell his eldest sonnes name, beginning with a G. for Gallowes, Iohn with an I. for Iayle, Richard with an R. for Rope-maker; as much to say, as all his whole liuing depended on the Iayle, the Gallowes, & making of Ropes. Another brother there is, whose name I haue forgot, though I am sure it iumpes with this Alphabet. Iumpe or iarre they with me as they see cause, this counsaile (if the ease were mine) I would giue them, not to bee daunted or blancket anie whit, had they ten hundred thousand legions of hang∣•••••• 〈◊〉〈◊〉 or per collum pe••dere debes to their fathers, and any should twit them or gaule them with it neuer so: but as Agathocles comming from a durt••kneading Potter to be a King, would (in memorie of that his first

vocation) be serued euer after, as well in earthen dish∣es, as sumptuous royal plate; so, had they but one roy∣all of plate or sixe pennie peece amongst them, they shuld plat (what euer their other cheere were) to haue a salt eele in resemblance of a ropes end, continuallye seru'd in to their tables; or if they were not able to be at such charges, let them cast but for a two-penny rope of onions euerie day to be brought in, in stead of frute for a closing vp of their stomackes. It cannot doo a∣misse, it will remēber them they are mortal, & whence they came, & whether they are to goe. Were I a Lord (I make the Lord God a vow) and were but the least a kin to this breath strangling linage, I would weare a chain of pearle brayded with a halter, to let the world see I held it in no disgrace, but high glorie to bee dis∣cended howsoeuer: and as amongst the ancient Ae∣gipt••ans (as Massarisus de ponderibus writes) there was an Instrument called Funiculus, conteining 60. sur∣longs, wherewith they measured their fields and their vine yards; so from the plough harnesse to the slender hempen twist that they bind vp their vines with, wold I branch my al••iance, and omit nothing in the praise of it, except those two notable blemishes of the trade of rope-makers, Achitophel and I••das, that were the first that euer hangd themselues.

Bentiu:

Thereto the Rope-makers were but acciden∣tally accessarie, as any honest man may be, that lends a hal∣ter to a thiefe, wherewith (unwitting to him) he goes & steales a horse: wherefore, how euer (after a sort) they may be said to haue their hands in the effect, yet they are free and innocent from the cause.

Respond:

As though the cause and the effect (more

than the superficies and the substance) can bee sepera∣ted, when in manie things, causa sine qua non is both the cause and the effect, the common distinction of po∣tentia non actu approuing it selfe verie crazed and im∣potent herein, since the premisses necessarily beget the conclusion, and so contradictorily the conclusion the premisses; a ha••ter including desperation, ••nd so despe∣ration concluding in a halter; without which fatall conclusion and priuation, it cannot truly bee termed desperation, since nothing is said to bee, till it is borne▪ and despaire is neuer fully borne, till it ceaseth to bee, and hath depriu'd him of beeing, that first bare it and brought it forth. So that herein it is hard to distinguish which is most to be blamed of the cause or the effect; the Cause without the effect beeing of no effect, and the effect without the cause neuer able to haue been. Such another paire of vndiscernable twins and mutuall married correllatiues are Nature & Fortune. As for example; If it be any mans fortune to hang him∣selfe and abridg his naturall life, it is likewise natural to him (or allotted him by Nature) to haue no better for∣tune.

Carnead:

Better or worse fortune, I pry thee let vs heare kow thou goest forward with describing the Doc∣tor and his life and fortunes: and you my fellow Audi∣tors, I beseech you trouble him not (anie more) with these impertinent Parentheses.

Respond:

His education I will handle next, wherein he ran through Didimus or Diomedes 6000. books of the Arte of Grammer, besides learnd to write a faire capitall Romane hand, that might well serue for a boone-grace, to such men as ride with their face to∣wards

the horse taile, or set on the pillory for cousnage or periurie. Many a copy-holder or magistrall scribe, that holds all his liuing by setting school-boies copies, comes short of the like gift. An old Doctor of Oxford snewd me Latine verses of his, in that flourishing flan∣titanting goutie Omega fi••t, which hee presented vnto him (as a bribe) to get leaue to playe, when hee was in the heigth or prime of his Puer es cupis at que doceri. A good qualitie or qualification I promise you truely, to keepe him out of the danger of the Statute gainst wil∣full vagabonds, rogues and beggers. But in his Gram∣mer yeares, (take me thus farre with you) he was a ve∣rie graceless litigious youth, and one that would pick quarrels with old Gulielmus Lillies Sintaxis and Pr••∣sodia, ••ucrie howre of the daye. A desperate stabber with pen-kniues, and whom he could not ouer-come in disputation, he would be sure to break his head with his pen and ink-horne. His father prophecyde by that his ventrus manhood and valure, he would proue an other S. Thomas a Becket for the Church. But his mo∣ther doubted him much, by reason of certaine strange dreames she had when she was first quicke with childe of him; which wel she hoped were but idle swimming fancies of no consequence: till being aduisde by a cun∣ning man (her frend, that was verie farre in her books) one time shee slept in a sheepes skinne all night, to the intent to dreame true, another time vnder a lawrell tree, a third time on the bare ground starke naked, and last on a dead mans tomb or graue stone in the church in a hot Summers after-noone: when no barrel better herring, she sped euen as she did before. For first shee dreamed her wombe was turned to such another hol∣low

vessell full of disquiet fiends, as Salomons brazen Bowle, wherein were shut so manie thousands of di∣uels; which (deepe hidden vnder ground) long after the Babilonians (digging for mettals) chaunced to light vpon, and mistaking it for treasure, brake it ope verie greedily, when as out of Pandor as Boxe of maladyes which Ep••metheus opened, all manner of euills flewe into the world; so all manner of deuills then broke loose amongst humane kinde. Therein her drowsie diuination not much dece••i'd her: for neuer wer Em∣pedocles deuils so tost from the aire into the sea, & from the sea to the earth, and from the earth to the aire a∣gaine exhaled by the Sunne, or driu'n vp by windes & tempests, as his discontented pouertie (more disquiet than the Irish seas) hath driu'n him from one professi∣on to another. Deuinitie (the Heauen of all Artes) for a while drew his thoughts vnto it, but shortly after the•• world the flesh and the diuell with-drewe him from that, and needes he would be of a more Gentleman-like lustie cut; whereupon hee fell to morrall Epistling and Poetrie. He sell I may well say, & made the price of wit and Poetrie fall with him, when hee first began to be a sripler or broker in that trade. Yea, from the aire he fell to the sea, (that my comparison may hold in euerie point) which is▪ he would needs crosse the seas to fetch home two penniworth of Tuscanisme: from the sea to the earth againe he was toft, videlicet shortly after hee became a roguish Commenter vppon earth quakes, as by the ••amous Epistles (by his owne mouth onely made famous) may more largely appeare. Vlti∣malinea rerum, his finall entrancing from the earth to the skies, was his key colde desence of the Cleargie in

the Tractate of Pa••-hatchet, intermingled like a small Fleete of Gallies, in the huge Armada against me. The second dreame his mother had, was that shee was de∣liued of a caliuer or hand-gun, which in the discharg∣ing burst. I pray God (with all my heart) that this cali∣uer or caualier of Poetrie, this hand gun or elder-gun that shoots nothing but pellets of chewd paper, in the discharging burst not. A third time in her sleep she ap∣prehended and imagined, that out of her belly there grew a rare garden bed, ouer-run with garish weedes inn••merable, which had onely one slip in it of herb of grace, not budding at the toppe neither, but like the floure Narcissus, hauing flowres onely at the roote; whereby she augur'd and coniectur'd, how euer hee made some shew of grace in his youth, when he came to the top or heighth of his best proofe, he would bee found a barrain stalk without frute. At the same time (ouer and aboue) shee thought that in stead of a boye, (which she desired) she was deliuerd and brought to bed of one of these kistrell birds, called a wind-fucker. Whether it be verisiable or onely probably surmised, I am vncertaine, but constantly vp and downe it is bru∣ted, how he pist incke as soone as euer hee was borne, and that the first cloute he fowld, was a sheete of pa∣per; whence some mad wits giu'n to descant, euen as Herodotus held, that the A••thiopians seed of generati∣on was as blacke as inke, so haply they vnhappely wold conclude, an Incubus in the likenes of an inke-bottle, had carnall copulation with his mother when hee was begotten. Should I reckon vp but one halfe of the mi∣racles of his conception, that verie substantially haue been affirmed vnto me; one or other like Bodine wold

start vp and taxe mee for a miracle-monger, as hee taxt Li••y, saying that he talkt of nothing else, saue how ox∣en spake, of the flames of fire that issued out of the Scipioes heads, of the Statues of the Gods that swet, how I upiter in the likenes of a childe or yong-man ap∣peared to Hanniball, and that an Infant of six months olde proclaymed triumph vp and downe the streetes. But let him that hath the poyson of a thousand Gorgons or stinging Basi••iskes full crammed in his inke-horne, tamper with mee, or taxe mee in the way of contradi∣ction neuer so little, and he shall finde (if I finde him not a toad, worthie for nought but to be stampt vnder foote) that I will spit fire for fire, fight diuell fight dra∣gon, as long as he will. No vulgar respects haue I, what Hoppenny Hoe & his fellow Hankin Booby thinke of mee, so those whom Arte hath adopted for the pe∣culiar Plants of her Academie, and refined from the dull Northernly drosse of our Clyme, hold mee in a∣nie tollerable account.

The wonders of my great Grand father Har••eys Progeniture, were these.

In the verie moment of his birth, there was a calse borne in the ••••me Towne with a dubble tongue, and hauing ••ares farre longer than anie asse, and his seete ••urned backward like certaine people of the Tartars, that neuertheles are reasonable swift.

In the houre of his birth there was a most darksome Eclipse, as though hel and heauen about a consultation of an eternall league had met together.

Those that calculated his nati••itie said, that Saturne and the Moone (either of which is the causer of mad∣nesse) were melancholy conioynd together (contrarie

to all course of Astronomie) when into the world hee was produced. About his lips, euen as about Dions ship, there flocked a swarme of waspes, as soone as e∣uer he was laid in his cradles. Scarce nine yeres of age he attaind too, when by engrossing al ballets that came to anie Market or Faire there-abouts, he aspired to bee as desperate a ballet maker as the best of them. The first frutes of his Poetrie, beeing a pittifull Dittie in la∣mentation of the death of a Fellow, that at Queene Maries coronation, came downward with his head on a rope from the Spyre of Powles steeple, and brake his necke. Afterward he exercised to write certaine gra∣ces in ryme dogrell, and verses vppon euerie Month, manie of which are yet extant in Primers and Alma∣nackes. His father with the extreame ioy of his to∣wardnesse wept infinitely, and prophecide he was too forward witted to liue long. His Schoole-master ne∣uer heard him peirse or conster, but he cryde out, O a∣cumen Carneadum! O decus addite diuis! and swore by Susenbrotus and Taleus, that he would prooue ano∣ther Philo Iudeus for knowledge and deep iudgment, who in Philosophie was preferd aboue Plato; and bee a more rare Exchequer of the Muses, than rich Gaza was for wealth; which tooke his name of Cambyses laying all his Treasure there, when hee went to make warre against Aegipt.

By this time imagin him rotten ripe for the Vniuer∣sitie, and that hee carries the poake for a messe of por∣redge in Christs Colledge: which I doo not vpbraid him with, as anie disparagement at a••l, since it is a thing eue∣tie one that is Scholler of the House, is ordinarily sub∣iect vnto by turnes, but onely. I thrust it in for a Peri∣phrasis

of his admission or ma••riculation. I am sure you will bee glad to heare well of him, since hee is a youth of some hope, and you haue been part∣ly acquainted with his bringing vp.

In sadnes I would be loath to discourage ye, but yet in truth (as truth is truth, and will out at one time or other, and shame the diuell) the coppie of his Tutors Letter to his father I will shew you, about his carriage and demeanour; and yet I will not positiuely affirme it his Tutors Letter neither, and yet you maye gather more than I am willing to vtter, and what you list not beleeue, referre to after Ages, euen as Paul•••• Iouius did in his lying praises of the House of Medices, or the importunate Dialogue twixt Charles the fifth and him, of Expedire te op••rtet, & parare calames: or his tem∣pestuous thunder-bolt Inuectiue against Seli••us.