HAue you playd ouer all your old Lessons o'the Virginals?
Yes, you are a dull Mayd alate, me thinkes you had need haue somewhat to quicken your Greene Sicknesse, doe you weepe? A Hus∣band. Had not such a peece of Flesh been ordayned, what had vs Wiues been good for? To make Sallets, or else cryd vp and downe for Sampier. To see the difference of these Seasons, when I was of your youth, I was lightsome, and quicke, two yeeres before I was married. You fit for a Knights bed, drowsie browd, dull eyed, drossie sprited, I hold my life you haue forgot your Dauncing: When was the Dauncer with you?
The last weeke.
Last weeke, when I was of your bord, he mist me not a night, I was kept at it, I tooke delight to learne, and he to teach me, prittie browne Gentleman, he tooke pleasure in my company, but you are dull, nothing comes nimbly from you, you daunce like a Plummers Daughter, and deserue two thousand pound in Lead to your marriage, and not in Gold-Smithes Ware.
Now what's the din betwixt Mother and Daugh∣ter, ha?
Faith small, telling your Daughter Mary of her Errors.
Errors, nay the Citie cannot hold you Wife, but you must needs fetch words from Westminster, I ha done I faith, has no Atturneys Clarke beene here a late, and changed his Halfe-Crowne-peece his Mother sent him, or rather cozend you with a guilded Two-pence, to bring the word in fashion, for her faults or crackes, in dutie and obedience, terme em eeue so sweet Wife. As there is no Woman made without a Flaw, your purest Lawnes haue Frayes, and Cambrickes Brackes.
But 'tis a Husband sowders vp all Crackes.
What is he come Sir?
Had word iust the day after when you sent him the Siluer Spoone to eat his Broath in the Hall, amongst the Gentlemen Commoners.
O 'twas timely.
A Letter from a Gentleman in Cambridge.
What's the matter?
Nay by my troth, I know not, aske not me, he's growne too verball, this Learning is a great Witch.
Yes by my faith Mistris, there's no true constru∣ction in that, I haue tooke a great deale of paines, and come from the Bell sweating. Let me come to'te, for I was a Schollar forty yeers ago, 'tis thus I warrant you: Matri, it makes no matter: ambobus parentibus, for a paire of Boots: patri, pay the Porter: amantissimis charissimis, he's the Car∣ryers Man, and his name is Sims, and there he sayes true, forsooth my name is Sims indeed, I haue not forgot all my learning. A Money matter, I thought I should hit on't.
Goe thou art an old Fox, ther's a Tester for thee.
If I see your Worship at Goose Faire, I haue a Dish of Birds for you.
Why dost dwell at Bow?
All my life time Sir I could euer say Bo, to a Goose. Farewell to your Worship.
A merry Porter.
How can he choose but be so, comming with Cambridge Letters from our Sonne Tim?
What's here, maximus diligo, Faith I must to my learned Counsell with this geere, 'twill nere be discernd else.
Goe to my Cousen then, at Innes of Court.
Fye they are all for French, they speake no Latine.
The Parson then will doe it.
Nay he disclaimes it, calles Latine Papistry, he will not deale with it. What ist you lacke Gentleman?
Pray weigh this Chayne.
Now Wench thou art well-come to the Heart of the Citie of London.
Dugat a whee.
You can thanke me in English if you list.
I can Sir simply.
'Twill serue to passe Wench, 'twas strange that I should lye with thee so often, to leaue thee without En∣glish, that were vnnaturall, I bring thee vp to turne thee into Gold Wench, and make thy fortune shine like your bright Trade, a Gold-Smithes Shop sets out a Citie Mayd. Dauy Dahanna, not a word.
Mum, mum Sir.
Here you must passe for a pure Virgine.
Pure Welch Virgine, she lost her Maydenhead in Brekenocke-Shire.
I heare you mumble Dauy.
I haue Teeth Sir, I need not mumble yet this forty yeeres.
The Knaue bites plaguely.
What's your price Sir?
A hundred pound Sir.
Why how now prettie Mistris, now I haue caught you. What can you iniure so your time to strey thus from your faithfull Seruant.
Pish, stop your words good Knight, 'twill make her blush else, which wound to high for the Daughters of the Freedome, honor, and faithfull Seruant, they are com∣plements for the Worthy's of Whitehall, or Greenwitch, eene plaine, sufficient, subsidy words serues vs Sir. And is this Gentlewoman your worthy Neece?
You may be bold with her on these termes, 'tis she Sir, Heire to some nineteene Mountaines.
Blesse vs all, you ouer-whelme me Sir with loue and riches.
And all as high as Pauls.
Here's worke I faith.
How sayest thou Dauy?
Higher Sir by farre, you cannot see the top of 'em.
What Man? Maudline salute this Gentlewoman, our Daughter if things hit right.
Turne not to me till thou mayst lawfully, it but whets my stomacke, which is too sharpe set already. Read that note carefully, keepe me from suspition still, nor know my zeale but in thy Heart: read and send but thy liking in three words, I'le be at hand to take it.
Please you draw neere, and tast the well-come of the Citie Sir?
Come good Sr Walter, and your vertuous Neece here.
'Tis manners to take kindnesse.
Lead 'em in Wife.
Your company Sir.
I'le giue't you instantly.
Of what weight Sir?
Pray let's see it, indeed Sir 'tis a pure one.
So is the Mistris.
Haue you the widenesse of her Finger Sir?
And therefore Sir no Gentlewoman.
If you dare venture by her Finger Sir.
I, and I'le bide all losse Sir.
Say you so Sir, let's see hether Girle.
Shall I make bold with your finger Gentlewoman?
Your pleasure Sir.
That fits her to a haire Sir.
What's your Posie now Sir?
Goe too, you'le pardon me?
Pardon you? I Sir.
Will you I faith?
Yes faith I will.
Thy doome take hold of thee.
To morrow noone shall shew your Ring well done.
Being so 'tis soone, thankes, and your leaue sweet Gentlewoman
Come now we'le see how the rules goe within.
That robs my Ioy, there I loose all I win.
Honestie wash my Eyes, I haue spy'd a Witall.
Now come to Towne Sir.
Into the Mayds sweet Dauy, and giue order his Chamber be made ready instantly, my Wife's as great as she can wallow Dauy, and longs for nothing but pickled Coucombers, and his comming, and now she shall ha'te Boy.
She's sure of them Sir.
What has he got a singing in his Head now?
Now's out of worke he falles to making Dildo's.
Now Sirs, Sr Walters come.
Is our Master come?
Your Master, what am I?
Doe not you know Sir?
Pray am not I your Master?
O you are but our Mistresses Husband.
Ergo Knaue, your Master.
Negatur argumentum. Here comes Sr Walter, now a stands bare as well as we, make the most of him he's but one peepe aboue a Seruingman, and so much his Hornes make him.
How dost Iacke?
Proud of your Worships health Sir.
How does your Wife?
The 'ile part in time againe.
At the good houre, they will and please your wor∣ship.
Here Sirra, pull off my Boots. Put on, but on Iacke.
I thanke your kind worship Sir.
Slippers, Heart you are sleepy.
The game begins already.
Pish, put on Iacke.
Now I must doe it, or he'le be as angry now, as if I had put it on at first bidding, 'tis but obseruing, 'tis but obseruing a Mans humour once, and he may ha' him by the Nose all his life.
Sure Sir not any.
How doe you satisfie me?
Good Sir be patient.
For two months absence I'le be satisfied.
No liuing Creature entred.
Entred, come sweare.
You will not heare me out Sir.
Yes I'le heare't out Sir.
Sir he can tell himselfe.
Of my soule and conscience Sir, she's a Wife as honest of her Body to me, as any Lords proud Lady can be.
Yet by your leaue, I heard you were once offring to goe to bed to her.
No I protest Sir.
Heart if you doe, you shall take all, I'le marry.
O I beseech you Sir,
That wakes the Slaue, and keepes his Flesh in awe.
Ha Villaine, peace.
Peace Bastard, should he heare em. 〈◊〉 are two foolish Children, they doe not know the Gentleman that sits there.
Where's your Legges Whore sons? They should kneele indeed if they could say their Prayers.
How cheeres my Mistris?
Made lightsome, eene by him that made me heauy.
Me thinkes she shewes gallantly, like a Moone at full Sir.
True, and if she beare a Male child, there's the Man in the Moone Sir.
'Tis but the Boy in the Moone yet Goodman Calfe.
There was a Man, the Boy had neuer beene there else.
It shall be yours Sir.
No by my troth, I'le sweare it's none of mine, let him that got it keepe it, thus doe I rid my selfe of feare, Lye soft, sleepe hard, drinke Wine, and eat good cheere.