The malcontent. By Iohn Marston. 1604

THE MALCONTENT. (Book 1)

ACTVS PRIMVS. (Book 1)

* 1.1

SCE. PRIMA.

The vilest out of tune Musicke being heard.

Ent•…•…r Bilioso and Praepasso.

Bilioso.

WHy how now? are yee mad? or drunke? or both? or what?

Prae•…•….

Are yee building Babilon there?

〈◊〉〈◊〉

Heer's a noyse in Court▪ you thinke you are in a Tauerne, do you not?

Pr•…•…p.

You thinke you are in a bro•…•…hell house doe you not? This roome is ill sented.

Enter one with a Perfume.

So; perfume; perfume; some vpon me I pray thee: The Duke is vpon instant entrance; so, make place there.

SCENA SECVNDA.

Enter the Duke Pietro, Ferrardo, Count Equato, Count Celso before, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉.

Pietro.

Where breath's that Musique?

Bilioso.

The discord rather then the Musique is heard from the Malcontent Maleuoles 〈◊〉〈◊〉 •…•…

Ferrar.

Maleuole.

Male.

* 1.2 Yaugh, godaman what do'st thou there: Dukes Ganimed Iunces iealous of thy long stockings: shadow of a woman, what wouldst Weesell? thou lambe a Court: what doost thou bleat for? a you smooth chind Ca•…•…amite.

Pietro.

Come downe thou rugged Cur, and snarle here, I giue thy dogged sullennesse free liberty: trot about and be-spurtle whom thou pleasest.

Maleuole.

Ile come among you, you Gotish bloudded Toderers, as Gum into Taffata, to fret, to fret: Ile fall like a spunge into water to suck vp; to suck vp. Howle againe. Ile pray, and come to you.

Pietr•…•….

This Maleuole is one of the most prodigious af∣fections that euer conuerst with nature; A man or rather a monster; more discontent then Lucifer when he was thrust out of the presence, his appetite is vnsatiable as the Graue; as farre from any content as from heauen, his highest de∣light is to procure others vexation, and therein hee thinkes he truly se•…•…ues heauen; for tis his position, whosoeuer in this •…•…arth can be contented is a slaue and dam'd; therefore do's he afflict all in that to which they are most affected; the Elements struggle within him; his owne soule is at vari∣ence; his speach is halter-worthy at all howers; I like him faith, he giues good intelligence to my spirit, makes me vn∣derstand those weaknesses which others flattery palliate: harke they sing.

SCENA TERTIA.

A Song.

Enter Maleuole after the Song.

See he comes; now shall you heare the extremity of a Malecontent: he is as free as ayre; he blowes ouer euery man. And sir whence come you now?

Mal.

From the publick place of much dissimulation;

Piet.

What didst there?

Mal.

Talke with a Vsurer; take vp at Intetest.

Piet.

I wonder what religion thou art?

Mal.

Of a Souldiers religion.

Pietr.

And what doost thou thinke makes most Infidels now?

Mal.

Sects, sects, I haue seene seeming Piety change her roabe so oft, that sure none but some arch-diuell can shape her a new Peticote.

Pietro.

Of a religious pollicie.

Mal.

But damnation on a politique religion.

Pietro.

But whats the common newes abroade Maleuole, thou dogst rumor still.

Mal.

Common newes? why common words are, God saue yee, Fare yee well: common actions, Flattery and Co∣senage: common things, Women and Cuckolds: and how do's my little Ferrard: a yee lecherous Animall, my little Ferret, he goes sucking vp & downe the Pallace into euery Hens nest like a Weesell: & to what doost thou addict thy time to now, more then to those Antique painted drabs that are stil affected of young Courtiers, Flattery, Pride & Ven•…•…ry.

Ferrard.

I study languages: who doost thinke to be the best linguist of our age?

Mal.

Phew, the Diuell let him possesse thee, heele teach thee to speake all languages, most readily and strangely, and great reason mary, hees traueld greatly ithe worlde; and is euery where.

Ferrard.

Saue ith Court.

M•…•…l.

I saue ith Court: and how do's my old Muckill ouerspred with fresh snow▪ thou halfe a mā halfe a Goate,* 1.3 all a Beast: how do's thy young wife old huddle?

Bili•…•….

Out you improuident rascall.

Mal.

Doe, kick thou hugely hornd olde Dukes Oxe, good Maister Make-pleece.

Pietro.

How doost thou liue now a dayes Maleuole?

Mal.

Why like the Knight S. Patrik Penlobrans, with killing a Spiders for my Ladies Munckey.

Pie.

How do'st spend the night, I heere thou neuer sleepst?

Mal.

O no, but dreame the most fantasticall: O heauen: O fubbery, fubbery.

Pietro.

Dreame, what dreamst?

Mal.

Why me thinkes I see that Signior pawnd his foot∣cloth, that Metreza her Plate, this madam takes phisick, that tother Mounsieur may minister to her: here is a Pandar Iew∣eld: there a fellow in shift of Satten this day, that could not shift a shirt tother night, here a Paris supports that Hellen,

theres a Lady Guineuer beares vp that sir Lancelot. Dreames, dreames, visions, fantasies, Chimeras, imaginations, trickes, conceites, * 1.4 Sir Tristram Trimtram come a loft lacke a napes with a whim wham, heres a Knight of the land of Catito shall play at trap with any Page in Europe; Doe the sword daunce, with any Morris▪dauncer in Christendome; ride at the Ring till the finne of his eyes looke as blew as the welkin, and runne the wilde-goose chase euen with Pompey the huge.

Pietro.

You runne.

Mal.

To the diuell: now Signor Guerchino; that thou from a most pittied prisoner shouldst grow a most loathd flatterer: Alas poore Celso, thy starres opprest, thou art an ho∣nest Lord, tis pitty.

Equato.

Ist pitty?

Mal.

I marry ist Philosophicall Equato, and tis pitty that thou being so excellent a Scholler by Art, shouldst be so ri∣culous a foole by Nature: I haue a thing to tell you Duke; bid vm auant, bid vm auant.

Pietro.

Leaue vs, leaue vs, now sir what ist?

Exeunt all sauing Pietro and Maleuole

Mal.

Duke thou art a Beco, a Corn•…•…to.

Pietro.

How?

Mal.

Thou art a Cuckold.

Pietro.

Speake; vnshale him quick.

Mal.

With most tumbler-like nimblenes.

Pietro.

Who? by whom? I burst with desire.

Mal.

Mendozo is the man makes thee a horn'd beast; Duke 'tis Mendozo cornutes thee.

Pietro.

What conformance, relate, short, short.

Mal.

As a Lawyers beard,

There is an old Crone in the Court, her name is Maquerelle, Shee is my Mistris sooth to say, and she doth euer tell me,

Blirt a rime; blirt a rime; Maquerelle is a cunning Bawde, I am an honest villaine, thy wife is a close Drab, and thou art a notorious Cuckold, farewell Duke.

Pietro.

Stay▪ stay.

Mal,

Dull, dull Duke, can lazy patience make lame re∣uenge; O God for a woman to make a man that which God neuer created, neuer made.

Pietro.

What did God neuer make?

Mal.

A Cockold: To be made a thing thats hud-winkt with kindnesse whilst euery rascall philips his browes; to haue a Cox-combe with egregious hornes pind to a Lords back, euery page sporting himselfe with delightfull laugh∣ter, whilst he must be the last must know it; Pistols and Po∣niards, Pistols and Poinards.

Pietro.

Death and damnation.

Mal.

Lightning and thunder.

Pietro.

Vengeance and torture.

Mal.

Catzo.

Pietro.

O reuenge.

Mal.

I would dam him and all his generation, my owne hands should do it; ha I would not trust heauen with my vengeance any thing.

Pietro.

Any thing, any thing Maleuole thou shalt see in∣stantly what temper my spirit houlds; farewell, remember, I forget thee not, farewell.

Exit Pietro.

SCENA QVARTA.

Enter Celso.

Cel.

My honor'd Lord.

Mal.

Peace, speake low; peace, O Celso, constant Lord, Thou to whose faith I onely rest discouered, Thou one of full ten millions of men That louest vertue onely for it selfe, Thou in whose hands olde OPS may put her soule; Behold for euer banisht Altofront This Genoas last yeares Duke. O truly noble, I wanted those old instruments of state, Dissemblance, and suspect: I could not time it Celso,

My throane stood like a point in midd'st of a circle, To all of equall neerenes, bore with none: Raind all alike, so slept in fearelesse vertue, Suspectles, too suspectles, till the crowde: (Still liquerous of vntried nouelties) Impacient with seuerer gouernmente: Made strong with Florence: banisht Altofront.

Celso.

Strong with Florence, I thence your mischiefe rose, For when the danghrer of the Florentine: Was matched once with this Pietro now Duke, No stratagem of state vnt•…•…ide was lefte, till you of all

Mal.

Of all was quite berefte, Alas Maria too close prisoned: My true sayth'd dutches i'the Citadell.

Celso.

Ile still adhere, lets mutinie and die.

Mal.

O clime not▪a falling tower Celso, Tis well held desperation, no Zeale: Hopeles to striue with fate (peace) Temporize. Hope, hope, that neuer forsak'st the wretchedst man, Yet bidst me liue, and lurke in this disguise, What play I well the •…•…ree breath'd discontent,

Why man we are all philosophicall monarkes or naturall fooles, Celso the Courtes a •…•…ar, the dutches sheets will smoke forth ere it be long: Impure Mendozo that sharpe nos'd Lord, that made the cursed match linkt Genoa with Florence now brode hornes, the Duke which he now knowes: Dis∣cord to malecontents is very Manna, when the rankes are burst▪ then scuffle Altophant.

Celso.

I but durste.

Mal.

Tis gone, tis swallowed like a minerall, some way twill worke, phewt ile not shrinke,

Hees resolute who can no lower sinke.

Celso.

Yonder's Mendoza.

Mal.

True, the priuie key.

Celso.

I take my leaue sweete Lord.

Exit Celso.

Mal.

Tis fit, away.

SCENA QVINTA.

Enter Mendoza with three or foure sutors.

Mend.

Leaue your suites with me, I can and will: attend my secretarie, leaue me.

Mal.

Mendoza harke yee, harke yee, You are a treache∣rous villaine, God buye yee.

Mend.

Out you base borne rascall.

M•…•…l.

We are all the sonnes of heauen though a Tripe wife were our mother; a you whore-sonne hot rainde hee Marmoset, Egistus didst euer here of one Egistus?

Mend.

Gistus?

Mal.

I Egistus, he was a filthy incontinent Fleshmonger, such a one as thou art.

Mend.

Out grumbling roage.

Mal.

Orestes, beware Orestes.

Mend.

Out beggar.

Mal.

I once shall rise,

Mend.

Thou rise?

Mal.

I at the resurrection. No vulgar seede but once may rise and shall, No King so huge, but fore he die may fall.

Exit.

Mend.

Now good Elizium, what a delicious heauen is it for a mā to be in a Princes fauour? ô sweet God, ô pleasure! ô Fottune! ô all thou best of life? what should I thinke? what say? what do? to be a fauorite? a minion? to haue a generall timerous respect▪ obserue a man, a statefull sci∣lence in his presence: solitarinesse in his absence, a con∣fused ham and busie murmure of obsequious suters trai∣ning him; the cloth held vp, and waye proclaimd before him; Petitionarie vassailes licking the pauement with their slauish knees, whilst some odde pallace Lampree∣les that ingender with Snakes, and are full of eyes on both sides with a kinde of insinuating humblenesse fixe all their lights vpon his browe: O blessed state what a

rauishing prospect doth the Olympus of fauor yeeld; Death, I cornute the Duke: sweete women, most sweet Ladies, nay Angels; by heauen he is more accursed then a Diuell that hates you, or is hated by you, and happier then a God that loues you, or is beloued by you; you preseruers of mankind, life blood of society, who would liue, nay who can liue without you? O Paradice, how maiesticall is your austerer presence? how imperiouslie chaste is your more modest face? but O! how full of rauishing attraction is your pretty, petulant, languishing, laciuiously-composed countenance: these amarous smiles, those soule-warming sparkling glan∣ces; ardent as those flames that sing'd the world by heedlesse Phaeton; in body how delicate, in soule how witty, in dis∣course how pregnant, in life how wary, in fauours how iu∣d•…•…ious, in day how sociable, and in night how? O pleasure vn•…•…tterable, indeed it is most certaine, one man cannot de∣serue onely to inioy a beautious woman: but a Dutches? in dispight of Phoebus Ile write a Sonnet instantly in praise of her.

Exit.

SCENA SEXTA.

Enter Farnese vshering Aurelia, Emillia and Maquerelle bearing vp her traine, Beancha attending: all goe out but Aurelia, Maquerelle and Farneze.

Aure.

And ist possible? Mendozo slight me, possible?

Far.

Possible? what can be strange in him thats drunke with fauour, Groes insolent with grace, speake Maquerelle, speake.

Maque.

To speake feelingly, more, more richely in sollid sence then worthlesse words, giue me those Iewels of your eares to receiue my inforced dutie, as for my part tis well knowne I can put vp any thing; can beare patiently with any man: But when I heard hee wronged your pretious sweetnesse, I was inforced to take deepe offence; Tis most certaine he loues Emillia with high appetite; and as she told

me (as you knowe we woemen impart our secrets one to a∣nother) when she repulsed his suite, in that he was possessed with your indeered grace: Mendozo most ingratfully re∣nounced all fayth to you.

Fer.

Nay, cald you, speake Maquerelle, speake.

Maq.

By heauen witch? dride bisquet, and contested blushlesly hee lou'd you but for a spurt or soe.

Fer.

For maintenance.

Maq.

Aduancement and regarde.

Aur.

O villaine? O impudent Mendozo.

Maq

Nay he is the rustiest iawde, the fowlest mouthd knaue in rayling against our sex: he will rayle agen women.

Aur.

How? how?

Maq.

I am asham'd to speakt, I.

Aur.

I loue to hate him, speake.

Maq.

Why when Emillia scornde his base vnsteddines the blacke throated rascall scoulded, and sedd.

Aur.

What?

Maq.

Troth tis too shamelesse,

Aur.

What saide he?

Maq.

Why that at foure women were fooles, at foure∣teene Drabbes, at fortie Bawdes, at fourescore witches, and a hundreth Cats.

Aur.

O vnlimitable impudencie!

Fer.

But as for poore Fernezes fixed hart, Was neuer shadelesse meadow drier parcht, Vnder the scortching heate of heauens dog, Then is my hart with your inforcing eyes.

Maq.

A hotte simile.

Fer.

Your smiles haue bin my heauē, your frownes my hel, O pitty then; Grace should with beauty d well.

Maq.

Reasonable perfect bir-lady.

Aur.

I will loue thee, be it but in dispight, Of that Mendozo, witch! Farneze, witch! Ferneze thou art the Dutches fauorite, Be faithfull, priuate, but tis dangerous,

Fer.

His loue is liuelesse, that for loue feares breath, The worst thats due to sinne, O would't were death.

Aur.

Enioy my fauor, I wil be sick instantly & take phisick, Therefore in depth of night, visit

Maq.

Visit her chamber, but conditionally you shall not offend her bed: by this Diamond.

Fer.

By this Diamond.

Giues it to Maquerelle.

Maq.

Nortary longer then you please: by this Ruby.

Fer.

By this Ruby.

Maq.

And that the doore shall not creake.

Fer.

And that the doore shall not creake.

Mal.

Nay but sweare.

Ferne.

By this purse.

Maq.

Goe to, Ile keepe your oathes for you: remem∣ber, visit.

Enter Mendozo reading a Sonnet.

Aur.

Dry'd bisquet? looke where the base wretch comes.

Men.

Beauties life, Heauens modell, Loues Queene.

Maq.

Thats his Aemilia.

Men.

Natures triumph, best of Earth.

Maq.

Meaning Emillia.

Mend.

Thou onely wonder that the world hath seene.

Maq.

Thats Emilia.

Aur.

Must I then here her praisd? Mendozo.

Mend.

Madam, your excellency is gratiously incountred; I haue bin writing passionate flashes in honor of—

Exit Fer.

Aur.

Out villaine, villaine, O iudgement where haue bin my eies? what bewitched election made me doate on thee? what sorcery made me loue thee? but be gone, bury thy head; O that I could doe more then loath thee: Hence worst of ill, No reason else, my reason is my will.

Exit with Maquer.

Mend.

Women? nay furies, nay worse, for they torment Onely the bad, but women good and bad.

Damnation of mankinde, breath hast thou praisd them for this: And ist you Ferneze are wrigled into smock grace; fit

sure, O that I could raile against these monsters in nature, models of hell, curse of the earth, women that dare attempt any thing, and what they attempt they care not how they accomplish, without all premeditation or preuention; rashe in asking, desperate in working, impatient in suffering, ex∣treame in desiring, slaues vnto appetite, mistresses in dissem∣bling, onely constant in vnconstancie, onely perfect in coū∣terfetting: their words are fained, their eyes forg'd, their sights dissembled, their lookes counterfeit, their haire false, their giuen hopes deceitfull, their very breath artificiall:

Their blood is their onely God: Bad clothes, and old age are onely the Diuels they tremble at:

That I could raile now.

SCENA SEPTIMA.

Enter Pietro his sworde drawne.

Pietro.

A mischiefe fill thy throate, thou fowle iaw'd slaue•…•… Say thy prayers.

Mend.

I ha forgot vm.

Pietro.

Thou shalt dye.

Mend.

So shalt thou; I am hart mad.

Pietro.

I am horne mad.

Mend.

Extreame mad.

Pietro.

Monstrously mad.

Mend.

Why?

Pietro.

Why? thou thou hast dishonored my bed.

Mend.

I? come, come, sit, heeres my bare heart to thee as steddy as is this center to this glorious world,

And yet harke thou art a Cornuto; but by me?

Pietro.

Yes slaue by thee.

Mend.

Do not, do not with tart and spleenefull breath, Loose him can loose thee; I offend my Duke? Bare record O yee dumbe and raw aird nights, How vigilant my sleeplesse eyes haue bin,

To watch the Traitor; record thou spirit of truth, With what debasement I ha throne my selfe, To vnder offices, onely to learne The truth, the party, time, the meanes, the place, By whom, and when▪ and where thou wert disgrac'd: And am I paid with slaue? hath my intrusion To places priuate, and prohibited, Onely to obserue the closer passages: Heauen knowes with vowes of reuelation, Made me suspected, made me deemd a villaine? What roage hath wronged vs?

Pietro.

Mendozo, I may erre.

Mend.

Erre? tis too mild a name, but erre and erre, Runne giddy with suspect, fore through me thou know, That which most creatures saue thy selfe doe know, Nay since my seruice hath so loath'd reiect, Fore Ile reueale, shalt finde them clipt together.

Piet.

Mendozo thou knowst I am a most plaine brested mā.

Mend.

The fitter to make a Cornuto, would your browes were most plane to.

Piet.

Tell me, indeed I heard thee raile?

Mend.

At womē, true, why what cold fleame could chose, Knowing a Lord so honest, vertuous, So boundlesse louing, bounteous, faire shapt, sweete, To be contemn'd, abus'd, defam'd, made Cuckold,

Hart, I hate all women for't: sweete sheetes, waxe lights, Antique bed-posts, Cambrick smocks, villanous curtaines, Arras pictures, oylde hinges, and all yee tong-tide lasciuious witnesses of great creatures wantonnesse: what saluation can you expect?

Piet.

Wilt thou tell me?

Mend.

Why you may find it your selfe, obserue, obserue.

Piet.

I ha not the patience, wilt thou deserue me; tell, giue it.

Mend.

Tak't, why Farneze is the man, Ferneze, Ile proou't, this night you shall take him, in your sheets, wilt serue.

Piet.

It will, my bozomes in some peace, till night.

Mend.

What?

Piet.

Farewell.

Mend.

God how weake a Lord are you, Why doe you thinke there is no more but so?

Piet.

Why?

Mend.

Nay then will I presume to councell you, It should be thus; you with some garde vpon the suddaine Breake into the Princes chamber, I stay behinde Without the doore, through which he needs must passe, Ferneze flies, let him, to me he comes, hee's kild By me, obserue by me, you follow, I raile, And seeme to saue the body: Dutches comes On whom (respecting her aduanced birth, And your faire nature) I know, nay I doe know No violence must be vsed. She comes, I storme, I praise, excuse Ferneze, and still maintaine The Dutches honor, she for this loues me, I honor you, shall know her soule, you mine, Then naught shall she contriue in vengeance, (As women are most thoughtfull in reuenge) Of her Ferneze, but you shall sooner know't Then she can think't, thus shall his death come sure, Your Dutches braine-caught; so your life secure.

Piet.

It is too well, my bozome, and my hart, When nothing helpes, cut of the rotten part.

Exit.

Mend.

Who cannot faine friendship, can nere produce the effects of hatred: Honest foole Duke, subtile lasciuious Dutches, silly nouice ferneze; I doe laugh at yee, my braine is in labour till it produce mischiefe, & I feele sudden thro's, proofes sencible, the issue is at hand.

As Beares shape young, so Ile forme my deuice, Which growne prooues horrid: Vengeance makes men wise.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Vexat cen∣su•…•…a colum∣b•…•…s.
• * 1.2

  Out of his Chamber.
• * 1.3

  To Bilios•…•….
• * 1.4

  To Pre∣pass•…•….