A fig for Momus containing pleasant varietie, included in satyres, eclogues, and epistles, by T.L. of Lincolnes Inne Gent.

To a deere friend lately giuen ouer to couetousnesse. (Book 4)

Satyre. 4.

I Heare of late (but hould it verie strange) (That such vaine newes is common in the change) How being old, and drawing to the graue, Thou waxest greedie, and desir'st to saue: As if thy life of sorrowes had no store, But thou in policie shouldst purchase more? Alas for thee, that at thy iournies end Art growne so neere and carefull what to spend. Looke on thy selfe, age hath thee by the backe, Thy haires are white, which erst were frisseld blacke:

Thine eies are suncke, thy cheeks are leane and pale, Thy lips are blew, thy breath is stincking stale, Thy grinders gone, thy ghastlie gout, and murre; Do breake thy sleepes, and scarcely let thee sturre: Thy memorie is dul, and wel nie dead, Thy tongue alreadie faulters in thy head: Where al these torments make thee loth thy self, Why art thou now enamored with thy pelfe? Think'st thou the purchase of a niggards name Is not a preiudice vnto thy fame? Marke me a miserable mysing wretch, That liues by others losse, and subtle fetch, He is not onely plagu'd with heauines, For that which other happie men possesse, But takes no tast of that himselfe partakes, And sooner life, then miserie forsakes: And what in most aboundance, he retaines In seeming little, doth augment his paines: His trauailes, are suspitions backt by feare, His thoughts distraught incessant troubles leare, He doubts the raine, for feare it raise a floud And beare away his houses, and his good, He dreads his neighbours cattle as they passe, For feare they stay and feed vpon his grasse, He hides his treasures vnder locke and kay,

Lest theeues breake in, and beare his bags away: Onely vnto himselfe, for whom he spares, He gathers nothing but continuall cares: His eie disdaines his hungrie bellie meate, Himselfe repines, at that himselfe doth eate, Though rents increase, he lets his body lacke, And neither spares his bellie nor his backe: What on him selfe he laies, he houlds it lost, What on his wife, he deemes vnthriftie cost, What on his heires, his miserie and misse; What on his seruants, ryotting it is. Thus from himselfe, his couetous desire Doth draw himselfe, and on his hart doth tire: So liues he to the wretched world alone, Lothsome to all that long to see him gone: If such he be, (as such he is indeede) And far more worse, (if wealth more worse may breed) For shame from such a sinne thy life exempt, That makes thee rich in nothing but contempt, They say the many packs before thy doore, Are but the pawnes, and wages of the poore, They say the buildings which thou dost begin, Are rich without, but yeeld no rest within; They say thy deerest friends are sure to pay Great forfeitures, and if they misse their day:

They say the interest of tenne a yeere Is held too little to maintaine thy cheere, And yet thy selfe, thy wife, thy maid, thy knaue, Scarce butter'd turneps vpon daies haue, They say at New-yeares-tide men giue thee cakes, And thou the next day sels them for their sakes, They say thou sel'st the chipping of thy bred For feare thy seruants should be ouer fed, They say one horse may beare thy houshould stuffe, Where for thy coyne three carts are not enough; They say thy welted gowne, and ruffes of lawne, When thou wert warden last was but a pawne: They say thy plate is forfeited and lost For halfe the money that at first it cost, They say thy wiues cast kertle is become A paire of breeches to enskonce thy bum. Briefly, they say that for the world thou art Too wretched, and for God too false in hart. All these reports thou knowest as well as I Spring frō some grounds, things sould by common cr•• Are quickly sould, men hardly stop the noice Of slanders published by common voice: If these be true, reforme them; if vntrue, Take them for warnings what thou shouldst eschue: What ere they be, now thinke vpon thy graue,

And leaue thy worldly drudging to thy knaue, And let him carrie fier vnto thy stils, And tend thy brewhouse, watch, & ward thy mils, Looke to thine apples, lest they rotte away, Set vp thy hop-powles, and thy champions lay. And thou thy selfe safe wrapt in cloth and furre, Fall to thy prayers, desire no more to sturre, Giue to the poore, what thou hast got by wrōg, For be assur'd thy daies cannot be long: Follow this frendly counsell which I giue, Or els in shame, and hatred thou shalt liue, Or dead, those passengers that spie thy graue, Shall say here lies a broking bribing knaue.

Satyre. 5.

IN euery land from Gades to Ganges flood Too few they be that thinke vpon their good: Too few that by discretion can discerne What profite rightly doth themselues concerne. Behould ambitions true begotten sonne, Spent in desire before his hope be wonne, Striuing for kingdomes which are sooner lost, Then kept, desir'd, then had, with mightie cost. Ending like him that senceles in his harmes

Doth striue to stem a sea with two weake armes, Behould a mind pressing beyond his might, Catching at stars censur'd by ouersight. Like him tha eger scales a mountaine steepe, And headlong fals into the valley deepe: There liues no man so setled in content That hath not daily whereof to repent, Nor can reformed wit so iustly deeme, But that it leaues true goods, for such as seeme; Briefly, the greatest gifts whereof we boast Are those which doe attempt and tire vs most. Peace brings in pleasure, pleasure breeds excesse, Excesse procureth want, want works distresse: Distresse contempt, contempt is not repair'd Till timeles death determine, hope dispair'd. Warre egges the victor to desire debate, The conquer'd to submit and serue with hate; Leaues nothing sure though he presume to choose, But what he keeps with hate and dread to loose: How oft hath watching policie deuis'd A cunning clause which hath himselfe surpris'd? How often hath lewd fraud been set afloate? Of purpose that his goods might cut his throate? Who builds on strength by policie is stript: Who trusts his wit, by wit is soonest tript.

Example be thou Hepar, who profest A home-borne infant of our English west Hast in that shamefull schene of treasons play Betray'd thy selfe to death, who would'st betray: Uolcatius that subborn'd, deuis'd, and wrought To worke out Themis, from the place he sought: Was laught in court, and though he were not seene, Yet wept his follies to a woodden skreene, Was neuer since this wretched world began To entertaine, receiue, and nourish man. A iudgment by itselfe that neuer err'd Or wit vnwrong'd by that he most prefer'd Trauel the world, & trauerse euery clime, And win one houre in euery yeare of time: Compasse what ere the sea receiueth round, And seeke to South-ward men of vnder-ground: What hast thou got if following Candies fate, That keepst no certaine compasse in thy state: O nought of ours, our wealth, our wit, enioy'd, If not as ours, for vs, it be employ'd, Thy fame declining, Tellus, not thy farme, Thy zeale presumptuous, Dacus not thine arme: Thy bountie Varis, not thy many bribes, Thy silence Shanus, not thy many Iibes. These are those goods whereto you ought to cleaue:

The rest are good in semblance and deceaue. What then in right for good may we elect? Such things as chalenge not by lewd respect? Seeke not in age with Crassus such a place As both thy life and fortune may deface: Nor fill the sea with sailes, the earth with men In shamefull sort, to be repulst agen. Nor leaue the northren lands, and fruitfull Gaul, In royall Rome, thine empire to enstall: For seldome can presumption be enthrown'd To liue esteem'd, or die to be bemown'd. An humble cote entapissed with mosse, A lowlie life that feares no sodaine losse: A mind that dreads no fal, nor craues no crowne, But makes his true-content, his best renowne. These are the choice contēts, the goods, the gaine Which rightly can be ours: the rest are vaine. If thou then see a troupe of garded knaues Waite at Argastos heels like seruile slaues: Be not aghast, admire not at his state, For now the world is bent to serue and hate: Tis true: that slaue whom Pompey did promoate, Was he that first assay'd to cut his throate.