The French academie Fully discoursed and finished in foure bookes. 1. Institution of manners and callings of all estates. 2. Concerning the soule and body of man. 3. A notable description of the whole world, &c. 4. Christian philosophie, instructing the true and onely meanes to eternall life. This fourth part neuer before published in English. All written by the first author, Peter de la Primaudaye, Esquire, Lord of Barre, Chauncellour, and Steward of the French Kings house.

Of the dutie of a Wife towards her Husband. Chap. 48.

AMA∣NA

NAture hauing honoured woman with a gracious alluring of the eies, with a sweete speech, with a beautifull countenance and modest behauiour, hath giuen * 1.1 her great meanes to winne the good liking and loue of her husband, if shee bee honest and shamefast: as likewise shee may easily deceiue man by offering him pleasure, if shee bee wickedly minded. This did Olympias wife to king Philip. know full well, when shee tooke the Thessalonian woman by the hand whom her husband loued so well, and by whom (as they said) he was charmed and bewitched. But the Queene seeing her so faire, and of so good a grace, and as her speech declared, a woman of a good house and well brought vp: Away (quoth she) with all slander, for I see well that your charmes are in your selfe. And let vs not thinke that the power of a lawfull wedded wife is lesse, if by taking all things vnto her, her wealth, her nobility, her charmes, and the whole web of Venus, she study by meekenesse, good behauiour and vertue to obtaine her husbands loue. Go to then, let vs see if wee can giue the wife some instructions touching this matter, how shee may keepe her selfe within the limits of her duty towards her husband.

ARAM.

As the Church is in subiection to Christ, euen so (saith the Scripture) let the wiues bee to their husbands in euerie thing. For the husband is the wiues head, euen as Christ is the head * 1.2 of the Church.

ACHITOB.

Wiues must bee modest, wise, chaste, keepers at home, louers of their hus∣bands, and subiect vnto them. But it belongeth to the ASER, to be now vnto them in stead * 1.3 of a schoole-master.

ASER.

When Kings and Princes honour Philosophers and learned men, it is certaine

that they honour themselues? but philosophers that court it, and become seruants to riches, are not thereby honoured. Wee may say as much of wiues. For when they submit them∣selues to their husbands, they are praised: but if they will become mistre••ses ouer them, it beseemeth them as ill, as it doth such as yeelde to that subiection: and both of them reape * 1.4 more shame than honour thereby. Therefore those women that make choice of effeminate husbands, and delight in commanding them, are like to such as had rather guide the blind than follow the wise and cleere sighted. So that if a wife loue, esteeme, and honour her hus∣band, I thinke that all honest duty will flow from thence, to their common contentation and comfort, and to the benefit, quietnes, and honour of the whole familie: I meane if shee loue him as her selfe, and esteeme and honor him, as her nerest Lord. A wise woman ought to thinke that her husbands manners are the lawes of her life, which (if they be good) she is who¦ly to follow, but if they be bad, she must patiently beare with them. For as a looking glasse serueth to no purpose, although it be guilt and decked with pretious stones, if it doth not * 1.5 liuely represent his face that looketh into it, so a woman is not to be liked albeit shee haue store of goods, if her life be not thereafter, and her behauiour and conditions be not confor∣mable to her husband. If a looking glasse represent a sadde and mourning countenance to one that is ioyfull and merrie, or contrariwise a smiling face to him that is sorrowfull, it is a false glasse and woorth nothing. So is she a bad wife and vnreasonable, which frowneth when her husband is desirous to be merry with her; and to take some honest recreation, or con∣trariwise, which laugheth and sporteth her selfe when shee seeth him full of businesse and greatly troubled. For the one is a token of her froward disposition: and the other, that shee despiseth the affections of her husband. And as lines and superficiall parts, as the Geometri∣cians say, mooue not of themselues, but as the bodies mooue wherein they are: so a wife must * 1.6 haue no proper and peculiar passion or affection to her selfe, but must bee partaker of the past times, affaires, thoughts and laughters of her husband. The further the Moone is from the sunne, the clea••er it is, and shi••eth so much the more: and contrariwise it hath lesse light, and is obscured the more, as it commeth neerer thereunto, so euill women deale with their husbands when they loue not their presence. For in their absence you shal see them as iocund * 1.7 and ••rolicke as may bee, but when they are with their husbands and at home, then are they sorrowfull and pensi••e. Moreouer a wife must not trust too much either to her wealth or to the nobility of her race, or to her beauty, but to that which ••itteth nearest her husbands heart, that is, to her behauiour, manners and conuersation, taking order that these things bee not heard, troublesome, or irksome to her husband euery day, but such as please him & agree with his conditions. For the trou••lesome conuersation of a Wife that alwaies ••arreth, in the end maketh euen her honest behauiour odious, as her ouer great pinching and niggardlinesse * 1.8 causeth her sparing and good huswiferie to become hatefull. As this custome was obserued amongst the Per••ians, that when their enemies came rushing vpon them with great clamors, they receiued them with silence, and contrariwise, if they were set vpon with silence, they made head against them with open mouth: so discrete women holde their peace when their husbands cry out with choler, and contrariwise if they vtter not a word, they labor to appease * 1.9 and pacifie them with their comfortable speeches. A wise woman that loueth her husband as becommeth her, sometime tolerateth and dissembleth an euill intreaty, trusting so much to her constancy and vertue, that by continuing in her duty shee is able to bring him backe a∣gaine to his. Shee must gouerne her selfe so discretly, that neither her neighbours, nor other of her familiar friends bee made acquainted in any sort with her complaints and greuances. * 1.10 For by discouering them, either she shall make her selfe a laughing stocke to others, or else giue occasion to the enemies of her honor, to prouoke and solicit her to naughtines. And if any one knowing the imperfections of her husband, vnder this pretence of seeing her hardly dealt withall perswade her to decline from her duty, she must answer him after the example of king Philip, who being wronged by the Greciās intreated them cu••teously. What then would my husband do vnto me, if I begin to hate him, and to offer him iniurie? If shee perceiue that any woman of her acquaintance laboreth by her talk either to fow or to increase some dome∣sticall dissention, she may wisely say with her selfe: In what case would this woman that seeketh to make me iealous, desire rather to see me, than malicio••sly to play the ••l•• huswife with my husband, and to for sake my house & mariage bed, wherupon it may be she would gladly take my place? Thus a discreet woman wil giue smal eare, & much lesse giue place to the light speeches and fained promises of such disturbers of domestical peace. Neither will she admit and nourish those vain and sot∣tish opinions which commonly busie the minds of such women as are ruled and gouerned

onely by passions, but containing her desires through reason within a conuenient compasse, the confidence which shee hath in her husbands vertue will breede perfect ease to her soule, by taking from her all doubting and occasion of complaining. Now vpon this discourse wee giue this note by the way, that when any displeasure falleth out betweene married folkes, they must haue a speciall regard then that they make not two beds. For by this meane the anger will endure the lesser while. Also they must shun all occasions of quar••elling in bed. For as a * 1.11 great bellied woman ready to li•• downe, and euen feeling the pa••gs of her trauell, said to those that willed her to lie downe vpon the bed, How can the bed cure me of this euill which came vnto ••e vpon the bed: so those quarrels, iniuries, wrath and choler that are bred within the bed, can hardly bee appeased and healed at any other time or place. But to continue our matter of the duty of a Wife, she must neuer suffer any to enter into her husbands house without his * 1.12 expresse commaundement or licence. For euery honest wife ought to feare that which is commonly spoken of the loosenesse of women, and labour as much as may bee to conuince those slanderers of lying, who know no other song than to speake of their incontinēcy. Caesar said, that A woman must not onely bee free from the f••ult, but also from all susp••tion thereof, which was the cause why hee put away his owne wife. And seeing it is the duty of an honest woman to * 1.13 take vpon her the care and ouersight of houshold affaires, shee must keepe at home and not loue to gad abroad, or be desirous of meetings, but so farre forth as her husband would haue her doe so. The greatest vertue of a woman (said Euboides) is not to bee knowne but of her husband: and her praise (said Argeus) in a strange mouth is nothing else but a secret blame. * 1.14 A Wife ought to bee modest in ••er garments and ornaments of her body, and not vsesuch sumptuous apparell as the law or custome of the countrey permitteth: because neither rich workes of gold, nor precious attire, nor bodily beauty make not a woman so praise worthy as * 1.15 her modesty doth, which consisteth in deedes, words, countenance and apparell. That is an ornament (said the Philosopher Crates) that adorneth, and that thing adorneth a woman, * 1.16 which maketh her more honourable. And this is not done by iewels of gold, emeralds, preci∣ous stones, or purple garments, but by euery thing that causeth her to be accounted honest, wise, humble and chaste. Those women that curiously pricke vp themselues, and inrich their bodies with ornaments full of pompe, make men more dissolute and incli••ed to loosenesse, especially when they make great window workes before their dugs, and giue licence to their eies to wander and gaze about. Whereas contrariwise a wise woman through her honest be∣hauiour, together with her lowly and setled looke, leadeth so many as cast their eies vpon her to continencie and chastity. But a discouered dug, a naked bres••, frizeled locks, paintings, per∣••umes, * 1.17 and especially a rowling eie, and alasciuious and v••chaste looke, are the forerun••ers of adultery. He that will not credite me, let him reade Tibullus, Propertius, and O••id, who are of the same opinion. It may well bee said of such women, whose number is too great amongst vs, that they haue lost all shame: albeit the best dowrie, the best inheritance and most precious ie well which a woman can haue, is to be shamefast. Yea the fortresse and defence that nature * 1.18 hath giuen to a woman for the preseruation of her reputation, chastitie, and honour, is shame, whereof whensoeuer she maketh no account, she is vndone for euer Socrates vsed to counsell those young men that beheld themselues in looking glasses, if they were hard fauoured to cor∣rect their deformitie with vertue, by making themselues vertuous: and if they were faire, not to blot their beauty wi•••• vice. In like manner it were very good, that when the married wife holdeth her looking glasse in her hand, she would speake thus to her selfe if she be foule: What * 1.19 then should become of me if I were also wicked? and if she be faire, How shall this be accoun∣ted of, if I continue honest and wise? For if a hard fauoured woman bee loued for her good behauiour and honest conditions, it is farre greater honour vnto her than if it were for beautie. Moreouer, a woman must haue a speciall care to bee silent, and to speake as sel∣dome, as she•• may, vnlesse it bee to her husband, or at his bidding: reseruing houshold * 1.20 wants affaires secret to her selfe, and not publish them abroade. Thus doing, if any euill, any reproach or dishonour come to the house through any of them that are within it, the fault will bee her husbands and not hers. Likewise a woman that respecteth her honour, ought to be ashamed to vtter any dishonest speeches, flouts, and iests, and no lesse ashamed to giue eare * 1.21 vnto them. For if she once giue her selfe to gibing, they that laughed at some little word of hers will afterward mocke the author thereof: seeing the honor of women is such a nice and chary thing, that it is not lawful for them so much as to thinke, much lesse to speake of many things, which men may freely both talke of and put in practise. Therefore those dames that minde to preserue their grauity, must bee silent not onely in vnlawfull but euen in necessary matters,

vnlesse it be very requisite that they should speake of them. To hee short, that woman that is borne to vertue, and purposeth to performe her dutie towards her husband, must please him in all honest things, and in such as draw neerest to his inclination, she must loue him in∣tirely, * 1.22 and esteeme of him aboue all others, shee must bee patient and know how to winke at, and to beare with many things done by him, shee must be prudent to gouerne her house, skil∣full in huswifery to preserue her goods, carefull to bring vp her children, faire spoken and cur∣teous to her neighbours, plentifull in honorable workes, a friend to honest companie, and a very great enemie to the lightnesse of youth. Moreouer she must bestow as much time as she * 1.23 can steale from domesticall affaires, in the study of notable sayings, and of the morall senten∣ces of ancient Sages and good men. And it were a seemely and honourable thing to heare a woman speake to her hu••band in this sort: Husband, you are my teacher, my gouernour and master in Philosophie, and in the knowledge of most excellent and heauenly sciences. For by such honest occupations women are withdrawne and turned aside from other vn∣worthy exercises, whereunto wee see them so apt and inclined now adaies, which maketh them ve••y offensiue, as plaies, dancing, masking, hunting, and discharging of harquebuzes, * 1.24 with such other dealings very vnmeete for their sexe. Whereas if in lieu of all these things a wife would imbrace the loue of knowledge, so farre forth as her wit and leasure require, and as her husband shall like of, she should be partaker not onely of the flowers and songs, but al∣so of the fruits, which the Muses bring forth and bestow vpon them that loue letters and Philosophie: which will greatly helpe her towards the leading of a happy life with her hus∣band. Now considering that loue is alwaies the well-spring of euery good duty, especially betweene those that are linked together by marriage, (which ought to be so great in regard * 1.25 of the wife, that the Ciuill law, and law of nations, will haue a woman follow her husband, al∣though he haue neither fire nor place to resort vnto, or be banished and driuen from place to place) let vs here call to remembrance some notable examples of the great loue that hath beene in vertuous women towards their husbands, as well when they were aliue, as after their death, by refusing to ouer liue them. Queene Hipsicrates the wife of king Mithridates commeth first to minde, who bare such loue towards her husband, that polling her selfe for his sake (although shee was yong and very faire) shee acquainted her selfe with the wearing of armour, and rode with him to the warre. And when he was ouercome by Pompey, she accom∣panied him in his flight through all Asia, whereby she mollified the griefe and sorrow which he ••eceiued by his losse. Triara wife to Lucius Vitellus, brother to the Emperour Vitellus, seeing her husband in a dangerous battell, thrust her selfe amongst the soldiers to beare him com∣panie, * 1.26 and to helpe him both in death and life, and fought as well as the valiantest amongst them. When king Admetus his wife saw her husband very sicke, and heard the answer of the Oracle, which was, that He could not recouer except one of his best friends died for him, she sl••e her selfe. When the wife of Fredinando Goncales a prince of Italie, knew that her husband was priso∣ner, * 1.27 and in danger of death, she went to visite him, and putting on his apparell, abode in his place, whilest he being clothed in her garments saued himselfe. Zenobia Queene of Armenia, seeing her husband Radamisus flie from a battell, and not beeing able to follow him because * 1.28 shee was great with childe, besought him to kill her. Which when he thought to haue done, she was striken downe with the blow of a sword: but beeing taken of the enemie and tho∣roughly healed, Tyridates the king, who had vanquished her husband, married her afterward for the great loue that was in her. The princesse Panthea loued her husband Abradatus so * 1.29 well, that when hee died in Cyr••s campe, shee slue her selfe vpon his bodie. Artemisia Queene of Caria, for the great loue she bare to her husband that was dead, dranke all the ashes of his bodie, meaning thereby to bee his sepulcher. When Iulia the wife of Pompey sawe a * 1.30 gowne of her husbands all bloodie, wherewith he had offered some sacrifice, shee imagined that he was slaine, and so died presently after. When Porcia the wife of Brutus heard of her husbands death, and percei••ed that her kinsfolks tooke away all meanes of killing her selfe, * 1.31 she drew hot burning coles out of the fire, and threw them into her mouth, which she closed so fast, that she was choked thereby. Sulpitia beeing carefully restrained by her mother Iulia from seeking her husband Lentulus in Sicilia, whither he was banished, she went thither being * 1.32 apparelled like a slaue, banishing her selfe voluntarily rather than shee would forsake her husband. Octauia sister to Augustus, and wife to Antonius, not with standing the iniurie that her husband offered vnto her in perferring before her a Queene that was nothing so yong * 1.33 or faire as shee, bare such great loue towards him, that setting aside all intreatie of her brother, shee would neuer leaue her husbands house, but still brought vp his children by his first

marriage as carefully as if they had beene her owne. Moreouer shee ••ought by all meanes to reconcile those two Emperours, saying, that it was an vnworthy thing, that two so mightie princes, the one for the euill intreaty of his sister, the other because hee was bewitched by a wicked woman, should warre one against another. As this vertuous princesse had taken he•• iourney as farre as Athens, where shee meant to take shipping, and to seeke out her husband being then in wa•• with the Par••ians, bringing with her souldiers, money, furniture and other munitions, he sent her word that shee should passe no farther, but stay for him at Rome. This shee performed, and sent him all the aboue named things, not seeming at all to be offended with him. Whereas he in the meane while ••korned her, sporting himselfe with Cleopatra in the sight and knowledge of all men, and afterward dealt worse with her when the warre was begun betweene him and Augustus. For he sent a commandement to Octauia at Rome to go out of his house, which shee presently obeyed, albeit shee would not therefore forsake any of her husbands children, but wept and bewailed her mishap, which had brought her to bee a principall cause of that ciuill warre. Aria, the wife of C••cinna, followed in a little boate vn∣to Rome her husband, who was taken prisoner because he had borne armes against the Em∣perour * 1.34 Claudius. Beeing there condemned to die, shee would haue borne him company, but that her sonne in law and her daughter staied her. When shee saw that, shee strooke her head so hard against the wall, that shee fell downe amazed: and being come to her selfe againe, said vnto them: You see that you cannot hinder me from dying cruelly, if ye stay me from a more gentle death. They being a stonished at the fact, and at her words, suffred her to do what she would: who then ran to the place where her husband was, and slue her selfe first, after shee had spoken thus couragiously vnto him: I am not, Cecinna, sorie for that which is done, but because the race of thy life must ende. When Seneca was condemned to die by Ne∣ro, * 1.35 and had libertie to choose what kind of death he would, he caused his veines to be ope∣ned in a bath: his wife Paulina of her owne accord did the like to her selfe in the same bath, mingling together their blood for a greater vnion and coronation of their long and perfect loue. Whereof Nero beeing aduertised, presently commanded that her veines should be stopt, constraining her thereby to liue a little longer in continuall griefe. Hipparchia, a very faire and rich woman, was so far in loue with the Philosopher Crates, who was hard fauou∣red * 1.36 and poore, that she maried him against all her kinsfolkes mind, & followed him through∣out all the countrie, being poorely apparelled and bare-foote, after the Cynicke fashion, Pisca seeing her husband pine away dayly through a great and strange disease, which he had * 1.37 concealed from her of long time, hauing at the length knowledge thereof, and perceiuing it to be incurable, she was moued with pitie for the euill which he suffered, whom shee loued better than her selfe: and thereupon counselled him with great courage to asswage his grie••e by death, and the better to stir him vp thereunto, she offered to beare him company. Where∣unto her husband agreeing, they imbraced each other, and cast themselues headlong into the Sea from the top of a rock. The king of Persia taking prisoner the wife of Pando••rus, whom he had vanquished and slaine, would haue maried her. But she slue her selfe after she had vt∣tered * 1.38 these words: God forbid, that to be a Queene, I should euer wed him that hath beene the murther of my deere husband Pandoerus. Ca••ma, a Greekish woman of the countrie of Galatia, bare such loue to her husband, euen after his death, that to be reuenged of a * 1.39 great Lord called Synorix, who had put her husband to death, that he might marry her, shee gently denied him at the first when hee became a suter vnto her, but after, in processe of time shee consented thereunto. When they were come to the Temple of Diana to so∣lemnize the marriage, before the altar shee powred foorth a little of that drinke, which shee had prepared in a cup, and drinking part thereof, shee gaue the residue to Synorix to drinke. The liquor was made of water, honie, and poyson, mingled together. When shee saw that he had drunke all, shee fetched a great and lowd grone, and vsing reuerence towards the Goddesse, said vnto her: I call thee to witnesse, that I haue not ouerli∣ued Sinatus my husband, for any other intent than to see this day: neither haue I enioyed any good or pleasure in all this time, wherein I haue since liued, but onely in hope that one day I should be able to reuenge his death, which being now performed by me, I go cheere∣fully and with ioy vnto my husband. But as for thee most wicked man (quoth shee to Sy∣norix) take order now, that thy friends and kinsfolkes, instead of a wedding bed, pre∣pare a buriall for thee. And so within a little while after, both of them ended their daies. Macrina, the wife of Torquatus, loued her husband so feruently, and was so sorrowfull for his absence, that for one yeares space, wherein hee was gone vpon a voyage, shee neuer * 1.40

went out of her house, nor looked out of her window. Wee may reade that many women of Lacedaemonia, when their husbands were condemned to die for conspiring against their countrie, came one euening clothed in blacke to the prison, vnder colour to take their finall farewell of them: and changing their apparell, they couered their husbands with their veiles, who went out and left their wiues in their place, which sustaining the punishment due to others, were beheaded, contrary to humanity, not without great patience shewed on their behalfe. Histories are plentifull in shewing the great loue of women towards their husbands. Yea, I will not be afraid to speake it, men are farre inferiour vnto them in perfection of loue. * 1.41 Wherefore we will conclude that it is easier for them to be dutifull to their husbands, whom, as we haue already said, if they loue, esteeme, and honour, no doubt but they are the chiefe cause of all peace and concord in their families, and of the prosperous successe of their house-hold affaires, to the quietnesse and contentation of their happie life, and to the immortall praise and honour of their good name.

Notes

• * 1.1

  The naturall gifts of wo∣men.
• * 1.2

  Eph 5. 23. 24.
• * 1.3

  Wiues must be subiect to their hus¦bands.
• * 1.4

  It is an honor to a woman to obey ••••r husband.
• * 1.5

  A wife com∣pared to a looking glasse.
• * 1.6

  Notable si∣militudes.
• * 1.7

  Euill wiues resembled to the Moone.
• * 1.8

  An o••erth∣warting wife maketh ••er¦selfe odious.
• * 1.9

  How a wife must deale with h••r cho∣lericke hus∣band.
• * 1.10

  A wife must not disclose her husbands imperf••ction to any body.
• * 1.11

  Married cou∣ples must not make two beds for any iar betweene them.
• * 1.12

  When is the best time and place to paci∣fie stri••e be∣tweene man and wife.
• * 1.13

  A woman must be free from all suspi∣tion of incon∣t••nen••y.
• * 1.14

  She must not loue to gad abroad or to be seene.
• * 1.15

  She must be modest in her attire.
• * 1.16

  The true or∣naments of a woman.
• * 1.17

  •• ••••••••ine ••o∣••••••s of an a∣du••terous heart.
• * 1.18

  Samefastnes is the best dow••e of a woman.
• * 1.19

  A•• excellent v••e of loo∣king glasses.
• * 1.20

  A woman must be silent and secret.
• * 1.21

  A woman must a••o••de f••••••h•••• spee∣••hes •••• ••estes.
• * 1.22

  A short sum of t••e dutie of a wi••e.
• * 1.23

  A woman must be desi∣rous of know∣ledge.
• * 1.24

  Exercise vn∣seemely for women.
• * 1.25

  What great loue the law of nations re∣quireth in a wife towards her husband. Examples of the great loue of woman towards their husbands. Hipsicrates.
• * 1.26

  Triara.
• * 1.27

  The wife of Ferdinando. Goncales.
• * 1.28

  Zenobia.
• * 1.29

  Panchea. Artemisia.
• * 1.30

  Iulia.
• * 1.31

  Porcia.
• * 1.32

  Sulpitia.
• * 1.33

  Octauia.
• * 1.34

  Aria.
• * 1.35

  The manner of Seneca his death. Paulina.
• * 1.36

  Hipparchia.
• * 1.37

  Pisca.
• * 1.38

  Pandoerus wife.
• * 1.39

  Camma.
• * 1.40

  Macrina.
• * 1.41

  Men are in∣feriour to women in perfection of loue.