The fountaine of selfe-loue. Or Cynthias reuels As it hath beene sundry times priuately acted in the Black-Friers by the Children of her Maiesties Chappell. Written by Ben: Iohnson.

ACTVS TERTIVS. (Book 3)

SCENA. 1.

Amorphus. Asotus.

Amor.

Sir, let not this discountenance, or dis-gallant you a whit, you must not sinke vnder the first disaster; It is with your young Grammattical Courtier, as with your Neophyte-Player, a thing vsuall to be daunted at the first presence, or enter-view: you saw, there was Hedon & Anaides, (far more practisd gallants then your selfe) who were both out, to comfort you: It is no disgrace, no more, then for your aduenturous Reueller to fall by some in-auspicious chance in his Galliard, or ••or some sub∣till Politician to vndertake the Bastinado, that the State might thinke worthely of him, and respect him as a man well beaten to the world. What? hath your Tayler prouided the property (we spake of) at your Chamber, or no?

Aso.

I thinke he has.

Amor.

Nay▪ (I intreate you) be not so flat, and melancholique, erect your minde: you shall redeeme this with the Courtship I will teach you against afternoone: Where eate you to day?

Asot.

Where you please Sir, any where I.

Amor.

Come let vs go and taste some light dinner, A dish of she'd Caueare, or so, and after you shall practise an hower at your lodging, some fewe formes that I haue remembred; If you had but (so f••rre) gathered your spirits to you, as to haue taken vp a Rushe (when you were out) and wagd it, thus; or clensde your tee••h with it, or but turn'de aside, and fa••••de some businesse to whisper with your Page, till you had

recouer'd your selfe, or but found some slight staine in your stocking, or any other pretty Inuention (so it had beene sud∣daine,) you might haue come off with a most cleare and Courtly grace.

Asot.

A poyson of all, I thinke I was forespoake, I.

Amor.

No, I do partly ayme at the cause (which was ome∣nous indeed) for as you enter at the doore, there is oppos'de to you the frame of a Wolfe in the Hangings, which (your eye taking sodainely) gaue a false Alarme to the heart; and that was it call'd your blood out of your face, and so disordred the whole ranke of your spirits: I beseech you labour to forget it.

Exeunt.

SCENA. 2.

Hedon. Anaides.

Hed.

Heart, was there euer so prosperous an Inuention thus vnluckely peruerted, and spoyld, by a whoore-sonne Book∣worme, a Candle-waster?

Ana.

Nay, be not impatient, Hedon.

Hed.

Slight, I would faine know his name.

Ana.

Hang him poore Grogran Rascall, pr'y thee thinke not of him: Ile send for him to my lodging, and ha' him blanketted when thou wilt, man.

Hed.

By gods so; I would thou couldst. Looke, here he coms. Laugh at him, laugh at him. Ha, ha, ha.

Criticus passeth by.

Ana.

Fough, he smels all Lamp-oyle, with studying by Candle-light.

Hedon.

How confidently hee went by vs; and carelesly! neuer moou'd! nor stird at any thing! Did you obserue him?

Ana.

I a poxe on him, let him goe, D••rmouse: hee is in a dreame now; He has no other time, to sleepe but thus when he walkes abroade, to take the ayre.

H••d.

Gods pretious, this afflicts me more then all the rest,

that we should so particulerly direct our Hate, and Contempt against him; and he to carry it thus without wound or passion! tis insufferable.

Anai.

'Slid, (my deare Enuy) if, thou but saist the word now, Ile vndoe him eternally for thee.

Hedon.

How sweete Anaides?

Anai.

Marry halfe a score of vs get him in (one night) and make him pawne his wit for a supper.

Hed.

Away, thou hast such vnseasonable Iests. By this hea∣uen I wonder at nothing more then our Gentlemen Vshers; that will suffer a piece of Serge, or Perpetuana, to come into the Presence: me thinkes, they, should (out of their Expe••i∣ence) better distinguish the silken disposition of a Courtier, then to let such terrible course Rags mixe with 'hem, able to fret any smooth or gentile Society to the threds, with their rubbing Deuises.

Ana.

Damne me, if I should aduenture on his company once more, without a sute of Buffe, to defend my wit: he do's nothing but stabbe the slaue: how mischeiuously he crost thy deuise of the Prophesie there? And Moria she comes without her Muffe too; and there my inuention was lost.

Hed.

Well, I am resolu'd, what Ile do.

Ana.

What, my good spirituous Sparke?

Hed.

Marry, speake all the venome I can of him; and poy∣son his reputation in euery place where I come.

Ana.

'Fore god most Courtly.

Hed.

And if I chance to be present where any question is made of his sufficiencies, or of any thing he hath done priuate or publique; Ile censure it slightly, and ridiculously—

Ana.

At any hand beware of that, so you may draw your owne iudgement, insuspect; No, Ile instruct thee what thou shalt doe, and by a safer meanes: approue any thing thou hea∣r••st of his, to the receiud opinion of it; but if it be extraordina∣ry, giue it from him to some other, whome thou more parti∣culerly affectst, that's the waye to plague him, and hee shall neuer come to defend himselfe: Sblood, Ile giue out all he do••

is dictated from other men: and sweare it too (if thou'lt ha' me) and that I know the time, and place, where he stoale it: though my soule be guilty of no such thing; and that I thinke out of my hart, he hates such barren shi••ts; yet to doe thee a pleasure and him a disgrace, Ile damne my selfe, or do any thing.

Hed.

Gramercies my deare Deuill: weele put it seriouslie in practise, I faith.

Exeunt.

SCENA. 3.

Criticus.

Crit.

Do good Detraction, do: and I the while Shall shake thy spight off with a carelesse smile. Poore pitteous Gallants, what leane idle sleights Their thoughts suggest to flatter their steru'd Hopes! As if I knew not how to entertaine These Straw-deuises; but of fo••ce must yeeld To the weake stroake of their calumnious tongues. Why should I care what euery Dor doth buzze▪ In credulous eares? it is a Crowne to me, That the best iudgements can report me wrong'd; Them Liars; and their slanders impudent. Perhaps (vpon the rumor of their speeches) Some grieued friend will whisper, Criticus, Men speake ill of thee: So they be ill men, If they spake worse, twere better: For of such To be disprais'd, is the most perfect praise. What can his Censure hurt me, whom the world Hath censur'd vile before me? If good Chre••tus, Euthus, or Phronimus, had spoake the words, They would haue moou'd me; & I should haue cal'd My thoughts and Actions to a strict accompt Vpon the hearing: But when I remember Tis Hedon and Anaides: Alasse, then, I thinke but what they are, and am not stir'd: The one, a light voluptuous Reueller,

The other a strange arrogating Puffe, Both impudent, and ignorant enough; That talke (as they are wont) not as I merit; Traduce by Custome, as most Dogs do barke, Do nothing out of iudgment, but disease; Speake ill, because they neuer could speake well: And who'ld be angry with this race of Creatures? What wise Phisitian haue we euer seene Moou'd with a frantique man? the same affects That he doth beare to his sicke Patient, Should a right minde carry to such as these: And I do count it a most rare Reuenge, That I can thus (with such a sweet neglect) Pluck from them all the pleasure of their Mallice. For that's the marke of all their enginous drifts, To wound my Patience (how soe're they seeme To ayme at other obiects) which if mist, Their Enuy's like an Arrow shot vpright, That in the fall endangers their owne heads.

SCENA. 4.

Arete. Criticus.

Aret.

What Criticus? where haue you spent the day▪ You haue not visited your iealous friends?

Crit.

Where I haue seene (most honor'd Arete,) The strangest Pageant, fashion'd like a Court, (At least I dreamp't I saw it) so di••••us'd, So painted, pyed, and full of Raine-bow straines; As neuer yet (eyther by Time, or Place) Was made the foode to my distasted Sence: Nor can my weake imperfect Memory Now render halfe the formes vnto my tongue, That were conuolu'd within this thrifty Roome. Here, stalkes me by, a proud, and spangled Sir,

That lookes three handfuls higher then his fore-top; Sauors himselfe alone, is only kind And louing to himselfe: One that will speake More darke and doubtfull then sixe oracles; Salutes a friend, as if he had a stitch, Is his owne Chronicle, and scarce can eate For registring himselfe; is waited on, By Mimiques, Iesters, Pandars, Parasites, And other such like Prodigies of men. He past; there comes some subtill Proteus: One Can ••hange, and vary with all formes he sees; Be any thing but honest; serues the time; Houers betwixt two factions, and explores The drifts of both; which (with crosse face) he beares To the deuided heads, and is receiu'd With mutuall grace of eyther: One that dares Do deeds worthy the Hurdle, or the Wheele, To be thought some body; and is (in sooth) Such as the Satyrist points truly foorth, Criminibus debent hortos, praetoria, mensas:

Aret.

You tell vs wonders Criticus.

Crit.

Tut, this is nothing. There stands a Neophyte, glazing of his face, Against his Idoll enters; and repeats, (Like an vnperfect Prologue, at third Musique) His part of speeches, and confederate Iests In passion to himselfe; Another sweares His Scene of Courtship ouer, and then seemes As he would kisse away his hand in kindnesse; A third, is most in Action; swims, and frisks, Playes with his mistresse paps, salutes her pomps; Will spend his Patrimonie for a Garter, Or the least fether in he•• bounteous Fanne: A fourth, he onely comes in for a Mute, Diuides the Act with a dumbe shew, and Exit, Then must the Ladies laugh: streight comes their Scene;

A sixth times worse Confusion then the Rest. Where you shall heare one talke of this mans Eye; Another of his Lip, a third, his Nose; A fourth commend his Leg, a ••ifth his Foote, A sixth his Hand, and euery one a lim; That you would thinke the poore distorted Gallant Must there expire: Then fall they in discourse Of Tires, and Fashions; how they must take place: Where they may kisse; and whom: when to sit down; And with what grace to rise: if they salute, What curtesie they must vse; such Cob-web stuffe, As would enforce the commonst sence abhorre Th' Arachnean workers.

Aret.

Patience Criticus. This knot of Spiders will be soone dissolu'd, And all their webbes swept out of Cynthias Court, When once her glorious Deity appeares, And but presents it selfe in her full light: Till when, goe in: and spend your howers with vs Your honor'd friends Timae, and Phronesis, In contemplation of our Goddesse name: Thinke on some sweet, and choyse Inuention now, (Worthy her serious, and illustrous Eyes) That from the merit of it we may take Desier'd occasion to prefer your worth, And make your seruice knowne to Cynthia: It is the pride of Arete to grace Her studious louers; and (in scorne of Time, Enuy, and Ignorance) to lift their state Aboue a vulgar height. True Happinesse Consists not in the multitude of friends, But in the worth, and choyse; Nor would I haue Vertue, a popular Reguard pursew; Let them be good that loue me, though but few.

Crit.

I kisse thy hands, diuinest Arete, And vowe my selfe to thee, and Cynthia.

Exeunt.

SCENA. 5.

Amorphus. Asotus.

Amo.

A little more forward; So Sir. Now goe in, dis-cloake your selfe, and come forth. Taylor; bestow thy absence vpon vs; and be not prodigall of this secret, but to a deare Customer. Tis wel enter'd Sir. Stay you come on too fast; your Pace is too impetuous. Imagine this to be the Pallace of your Pleasure, or Place where your Lady is pleas'd to be seene: First you present your selfe thus; and spying her you fall off, and walke some two turnes; in which time it is to be suppos'd your Passion hath sufficiently whited your Face? then (stifling a sigh or two, and closing your lippes) with a trembling boldnesse, and bolde terror; you aduance your selfe forward. Try thus much I pray you.

Asot.

Yes Sir, (pray god I can light on it) Here I come in you say: and present my selfe?

Amor.

Good.

Asot.

And then I spy her, and walke off?

Amor.

Very good.

Asot.

Now sir I stif••le, and aduance forward?

Amor.

Trembling.

Asot.

Yes Sir, trembling. I shal do it better when I come to it. And what must I speake now?

Amor.

Mary you shall say; Deare Beauty, or sweete Honor, or by what other title you please to remember her) me thinkes you are Melancholy. This is if she be alone now and discompanied.

Asot.

Well Sir, Ile enter againe; her title shall be My deare Lindabrides.

Amor.

Lindabrides?

Asot.

I Sir, the Emperour Alicandro's Daughter, and the Prince M••ridians sister (in the Knight of the Sunne) she should haue been married to him, but that the Princesse Clari••iana—

Amor.

O you betray your reading.

Asot.

Nay sir, I haue read History: I am a little Humanitian. Interrupt me no••, good Sir. My deare Lindabrides, My deare Lindabrides, My deare Lindabrides, me thinkes you are Melancholy.

Amor.

I, and take her by the Rosie-fingerd hand.

Asot.

Must I so? O: My deare Lindabrides, me thinkes you are Melancholie.

Amor.

Or thus Sir. All variety of diuine pleasures, choyse sports, sweete Musique, rich Fare, braue Attires, soft Beds, & silken thoughts, attend this deare Beauty.

Asot.

Beleeue me that's prerty: All varietie of diuino pleasures, choyse sports, sweet Musique, rich Fare, braue Attires, soft Beds, and silken thoughts, attend this deare Beauty.

Amor.

And then, offring to kisse her hand, if she shall coyly recoyle, and signifie your repulse; you are to re-enforce your selfe with, More then most faire Lady; let not the Rigor of your iust disdaine thus coursly censure of your seruants zeale: and (with-all) protest her, To be the onely, and absolute vn-paraeleld Creature, you do adore, aud admire, and respect, and reuerence, in this Court, Corner of the world, or Kingdome.

Asot.

This is hard by my faith: Ile begin it all againe.

Amor.

Do so, and I will Act it for your Lady.

Asot.

Will you vouchsafe sir? All varietie of diuine pleasures, choise Sports, sweete Musique, rich Fare, brau•• Attire, soft Beds, and silken thoughts, attend this deare Beauty.

Amor.

So Sir, pray you a way.

Asot.

More then most faire Lady, let not the Rigor of your iust disdaine, thus coursly censure of your s••ruants zeale. I protest you are the only and absolute vn-aparailed—

Amo.

Vn-paraleld.

Asot.

Vn-paraleld Creature, I do adore, and admire, and respect, and reuerence, in this Court, Corner of the world, or kingdome.

Amor.

This is if shee abide you: But now; put case shee should be Passant when you enter, as thus: you are to frame your Gate ther'after, and call vpon her: Lady, Nimph,

Sweete Refuge, Starre of our Court: Then if shee be Guardant, here: you are to come on, and (••aterally disposing your selfe,) sweare by her blushing and well coulored cheeke: the bright dye of her hayre, her Iuorie teeth, or some such white and Innocent oath, to induce you. If Reguardant; then, maintein your station, Briske, and Irpe, shew the supple motion of your plyant body: but (in chiefe) of your knee, and hand, which cannot but arride her proude Humor exceedingly.

Asot.

I conceiue you sir, I shall performe all these things in good time, I doubt not, they do so hit me.

Amo.

Well Sir, I am your Lady; make vse of any of these beginnings, or some other out of your owne inuention: and prooue how you can holde vp, and follow it. Say, Say.

Asot.

Yes Sir: my deare Lindabrides.

Amo.

No, you affect that Lindabrides too much: And (let me tell you) it is not so Courtly. Your Pedant should prouide you some parcels of French, or some pretty Commodity of Ita∣lian to commence with, if you would be exotick, and exqui∣site.

Asot.

Yes Sir, he was at my lodging t'other morning, I gau•• him a Doublet.

Amo.

Double your beneuolence, and giue him the Hose too; cloathe you his body, hee will helpe to apparaile your minde. But now, see what your proper Genius can performe alone, without adiection of any other Minerua.

Asot.

I comprehend you sir.

Amo.

I do stand you Sir: fall backe to your first place. Good; passing well: Very properly pursewd.

Asot.

Beautifull, ambiguous, and sufficient Lady. What are you all alone.

Amo.

We would be Sir, if you would leaue vs.

Asot.

I am at your beauties appointment: bright Angell; but—

Amo.

What but?

Asot.

No harme, more then most faire feature.

Amo.

Th••t touch relished well.

Asot.

But I protest.

Amo.

And why should you protest?

Asot.

For good will (deare esteem'd Madam) and I hope your Ladiship will so conceiue of it: If euer you haue seene great TAMBERLAINE.

Amor.

O that Blanke was excellent: if you could pick out more of these Play-particles, and (as occasion shall salute you) embroyder or damaske your discourse with them (perswade your soule) it would iudiciouslye commend you: Come, this was a well-dischar'gd and auspicious Bout: prooue the se∣cond.

Asot.

Lady, I cannot swagger it in Black and Yellow.

Amo.

Why if you can Reuell it in White Sir, 'tis suffici∣ent.

Asot.

Say you so Sweete Lady? Lan, tede de, de, dant, dant, dant, dante, &c. No (in good faith) Madame, whoseuer tould your Ladyship so, abus'd you; but I would be glad to meete your Ladiship in a measure.

Amor.

Me Sir? beelike you measure me by your selfe then?

Asot.

Would I might Fayre Feature.

Amor.

And what were you the better, if you might?

Asot.

The better it please you to aske, Fayre Lady.

Amo.

Why this was rauishing, and most acutely conti∣new'd; Well, spend not your humor too much, you haue now competently exercised your Conceipt: This (once or twise a day (wil render you an accomplisht, elaborate, and well leueled Gentleman; conuay in your Courting-stock, wee will (in the heate of this) goe visite the Nymphs Chamber.

Finis Actus tertij.