Praeludium.
PRay you away; why Children? Gods so▪ what doe yo• meane?
Mary that you shall not speake the Prologue Sir.
Why? do you hope to speake it?
I, & I thinke I haue most right to it; I am sure I studied it first.
Thats all one, if the Author thinke I can speake it better.
I plead possession of the Cloake: Gentles, your suffrages for Gods sake.
Why Children, are you not ashamd? come in there.
'Slid, Ile play nothing i'the Play: vnlesse I speake it.
Why? will you stand to most voyces of the Gentlemen? let that decide it.
O no Sir Gallant; you presume to haue the start of vs there, and that makes you offer so bountifully.
No, would I were whipt, if I had any such thought; trye it by Lots eyther.
Faith, I dare tempt my Fortune in a greater venter then this.
Well said resolute Iack: I am Content too; so we draw first. make the Cuts.
But will you not snatch my Cloake while I am stooping?
Which Cut shall speake it?
The shortest.
Agreed: Draw.—The shortest is come to the shortest. Fortune was not altogether blind in this: Now Children, I hope I shall go forward without your E•uy.
A spight of all mischeiuous lucke: I was once plucking at the other.
Stay Iack: 'Slid Ile do somewhat now afore I goe in, though it be nothing but to reue•ge my selfe of the Author; since I speake not his Prologue. Ile goe tell all the Argument of his Play aforehand, and so stale his Inuention to the Auditory before it come foorth.
O do not so.
By no meanes.
First the Title of his Play is CYNTHIAS Reuels, as any man (that hath hope to be sau'd by his Booke) can witnesse; the Scene, GARGAPHIA: which I do vehemently suspect for some Fustian Countrey; but let that vanish. Here is the Court of Cynthia; whither he brings Cupid (trauailing on foote) resolu'd to turne Page: By the way Cupid meetes with Mercury, (as that's a thing to be no∣ted▪ take any of our Play-bookes without a Cupid, or a Mercury in it, and burne it for an Heretique in Poetry)—Pray thee let me alone: Mercurie, he, (in the nature of a Coniurer) rayses vp Echo: who weepes ouer her L•ue, or Daffodill Narcissus, a little; sings; cursses the Spring wherein the pretty foolish Gentleman melted himselfe away: and ther's an end of her—Now, I am to enforme you, that Cupid, and Mercu∣ry do both become Pages: Cupid attends on Philautia, •r Selfe-loue, a Court• Lady: Mercury followes Hedon the voluptuous Courtier; one that rankes himselfe euen with Anaides, or the impudent Gallant, (and, that's my part:) a Fellow that keepes* Laughter the daughter of * Folly (a wenche in Boyes attire) to wayte •n him—These, in the Court, meete with Amorphus, or the Deformed, a Trauailer that hath drunke of the Fountaine, and there tels the wonders of the Water; they presently d•spatch away their Pages with Bottles to fetch of it, and them∣selues goe to visit the Ladyes: But I should haue tolde you—Looke, these Emets put me out here: that with this Amorphus, there comes Page [unnumbered] along a Citizenss heire, Asotus, or the Prodigall, who (in Imitation •f the Traueller, that hath the* Whetstone, following him▪) entertaines the* Begger, to be his Attendant.—Now the Nymphes, who are Mistresses, to these Gallants, are Philautia, Selfe-loue; Phantaste, A light Wittinesse; Argurion, Money; and their Guardian, Mo∣ther Moria; or Mistresse Folly.—
Pray thee no more.
There Cupid strikes Money in loue with the Prodigall; makes her doate vpon him, giue him Iewels, Bracelets, Carkanets, &c. all which (he most ingeniously) departs withall, to be made knowne to the other Ladyes, and Gallants; and in the heate of this, encreases his traine with the* Foole to follow him, as well as the Begger—By this time your Begger begins to waite close, who is return'd with the rest of his fellow Bottle-men—There they all drinke saue Arguri∣on, who is f•lne into a sodaine Apoplexy—
Stop his mouth.
And then there's a retir'd* Scholler there, you would not wish a thing to be better contemn'd of a Society of Gallants, then it is: and he applyes his ser•ice (good Gentleman) to the Lady Arete, or Virtue, a poore Nymph of Cynthias traine, that's scarce able to buy her selfe a Gowne, you shall see her play in a Blacke Roabe anone: A Creature, that (I assure you) is no lesse scorn'd, then himselfe. Where am I now? at a stand?
Come, leaue at last yet.
O, the Night is come, ('twas somwhat darke, me thought) and Cynthia intends to come foorth: That helpes it a little yet. All the Courtiers must prouide for Reuels; they conclude vpon a Masque, the deuise of which, is—what will you rauish me? that each of these Vices, beeing to appeare before Cynthia, would seeme other then indeed they are: and therefore assume the most neighbouring Vir∣tues as their masquing Habites—I'ld crye a Rape but that you are Children.
Come, weele haue no more of this Anticipation; to giue them the Inuentory of their Cates aforehand, were the discipline of a Ta∣uerne, and n•t •itting this Presence.
Tut, this was but to shew vs the happinesse of his Memory▪ I thought at first hee would haue playde the Ignorant Critique with euery thing along as hee had gone; I expected some such De∣uise.
O you shall see me do that rarely; lend me thy Cloake.
Soft Sir, you'le speake my Prologue in it?
No, would I might neuer stirre then.
Lend it him, lend it him:
Well, you haue sworne?
I haue. Now Sir; suppose I am one of your Gentile Audi∣tors, that am come in (hauing paide my money at the Doore with much adoe) and here I take my place, an• sit downe: I haue my three sorts of Tabacco, in my Pocket, my Light by me; and thus I Begin. By Gods so, I wonder that any man is so madde, to come to see these raskally Tits play here—They doe act like so many Wrens or Pis∣mires —not the fifth part of a good Face amongst them all—And then their Musique is abhominable—able to stretch a mans E•res worse, then ten—Pillories, and their Ditties—most lamentable things, like the pittifull Fellowes that make them—Poets. By Gods lid, and 'twere not for Tabacco—I thinke—the very stench of 'hem would poyson me, I should not dare to come in at their Gates— A man were better visit fifteene Iayles—or a dozen or two of Hospitals—then once aduenture to come neare them. How is't? well?
Excellent; giue me my Cloake.
Stay; you shall see me do another now: but a more sober, or better-gather'd Gallant; that is (as it may be thought) some Friend, or well-wisher to the House: And here I Enter.
What? vpon the Stage too?
Yes: and I step foorth like one of the Children, and ask• you; Would you haue Stoole Sir?
A Stoole Boy?
I Sir, if you'le giue me sixe Pence, I'le fetch you one.
For what I pray thee? what shall I doe with it?
O God Sir! will you betraye your Ignorance so much? Page [unnumbered] why, throne your selfe in state on the Stage, as other Gentlemen vse Sir.
Away Wag: what wouldst thou make an Implement of me? Slid the Boy takes me for a peice of Prospectiue (I holde my life) or some silke Curtine, come to hang the Stage here: Sir Crack• I am none of your fresh Pictures, that vse to beautifie the decay'd dead Arras, in a publique Theater.
Tis a signe Sir, you put not that Confidence in your good Clothes, and your better Face, that a Gentleman should do Sir. But I pray you Sir, let me be a Sutor to you, that you will quit our Stage then, and take a Place, the Play is instantly to begin.
Most willingly my good wag: but I would speake with your Author, wheres he?
Not this way, I assure you Sir, we are not so officiously be∣friended by him, as to haue his Presence in the Tiring-house, to prompt vs aloud, stampe at the Booke-holder, sweare for our Pro∣perties, curs•e the poore Tire-man, rayle the Musique •ut of tune, and sweat for euery veniall trespasse we commit, as some Author would, if he had such •ine Ingles as we: well, 'tis but our hard Fortune.
Nay Crack be not dishartned.
Not I Sir: but if you please to conferre with our Author by Attorney, you may Sir: our proper selfe here stands for him.
Tro•h, I haue no such serious affayre to negotiate with him; but what may very safely be turn'd vpon thy trust: It is in the gene∣rall behalfe of this fayre Society here, that I am to speake; at least the more iudicious part of it: which seemes much distasted with the im∣modest and obsce•e writing of many, in their Playes. Besides, they could wish, your Poets would leaue to be Promooters of other mens Iests; and to way-lay all the stale Apophthegmes, or old Bookes, they can heare of (in Print or otherwise) to farce their Scenes withall: That they would not so penuriously gleane wit, from euery Landresse, or Hack∣ney-man; or deriue their best grace (with seruile Imitation) from Cōmon Stages, or Obseruation of the Company, they conuerse with; as if their Inuention liu'd wholy vpon another mans Trencher. A∣gaine; that feeding their friends with nothing of their owne, but what they haue twise, or thrise Cook'd) they should not wantonly giue out, how Page [unnumbered] soone they had drest it; nor how many Coaches came to cary away the broken-meate, besides Hobby-horses and Foote• cloth Nags.
So Sir, this is all the Reformation you seeke?
It is: do not you thinke it necessary to be practisd, my little wag?
Yes; where there is any such ill•habited Custome receiu'd.
O, I had almost forgot it too: they say, the Vmbrae, or Ghosts of some three or foure Playes, departed a dozen yeares since, haue been se•ne walking on your Stage here; Take heed Boy, if your House be haunted with such Hob-goblins▪ 'twill fright away all your Spec∣tators quickly.
Good Sir. But what will you say now, if a Poet (vntoucht with any breath of this disease) finde Gods Tokens vpon you, that are of the Auditory? As some one Ciuet-Wit among you, that knowes no o∣ther Learning, then the price of Satten and Veluets; nor other Per∣fection, then the wearing of a Neate Sute; & yet will censure as despe∣rately as the most profest Critique in the house: presuming, his Cloa∣thes should beare him out in't. Another (whome it hath pleas'd Na∣ture to furnish with more Beard, then Brayne) prunes his Mustaccio; lispes; and (with some score of affected Oathes) sweares downe all that sit about him; That the olde Hieronimo, (as it was first acted) was the onely best, and Iudiciously-pend Play, of Europe. A thirde great-bellied Iugler talkes of twenty yeares since, and when Monsieur was here; and would enforce all Witte to be of that fashion, because his Doublet is still so. A fourth mis-calles all by the name of Fu∣stian, that his grounded Capacity cannot aspire too. A fifth only shakes his Bottle Head, and out of his Corky Braine, squeezeth out a pittifull-learned Face, and is silent.
By my Faith, Iack, you haue put me downe: I would I knew how to get off with any indifferent Grace: Here take your Cloake, and promise some satisfaction in your Prologue, or (Ile be sworne) we haue ward all.
Tut feare not Sall: this will neuer distaste a true Sence. Be not •ut, and good inough: I would thou hadst some Sugar Candyed, to Sweeten thy Mouth.
