The workes of Beniamin Ionson

Act V. Scene V.

LOVE-WIT, OFFICERS, MAMMON, SVRLY, FACE, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRI∣BVLATION, DRVGGER, DA. PLIANT.

WHat doe you meane, my masters?

MAM.

Open your dore, Cheaters, bawds, coniurers.

OFF.

Or wee'll breake it open.

LOV.

What warrant haue you?

OFF.

Warrant inough, sir, doubt not: If you'll not open it.

LOV.

Is there an officer, there?

OFF.

Yes, two, or three for fayling.

LOV.

Haue but patience, And I will open it straight.

FAC.

Sir, ha' you done? Is it a marriage? perfect?

LOV.

Yes, my braine.

FAC.

Off with your ruffe, and cloake then, be your selfe, sir.

SVR.

Downe with the dore.

KAS.

'Slight, ding it open.

LOV.

Hold. Hold gentlemen, what meanes this violence?

MAM.

Where is this Colliar?

SVR.

And my Captaine FACE?

MAM.

These day-Owles.

SVR.

That are birding in mens purses.

MAM.

Madame Suppository.

KAS.

Doxey, my sister.

ANA.

Locusts Of the foule pit.

TRI.

Profane as BEL, and the Dragon.

ANA.

Worse then the Grasse-hoppers, or the Lice of Egypt.

LOV.

Good gentlemen, heare me. Are you officers, And cannot stay this violence?

OFF.

Keepe the peace.

LOV.

Gentlemen, what is the matter? Whom doe you seeke?

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TRI.

Be patient ANANIAS.

ANA.

I am strong, And will stand vp, well girt, against an host, That threaten GAD in exile.

LOV.

I shall send you To Amsterdam, to your cellar.

ANA.

I will pray there, Against thy house: may dogs defile thy walls, And waspes, and hornets breed beneath thy roofe, This seat of false-hood, and this caue of cos'nage.

LOV.

Another too?

DRV.

Not I sir, I am no Brother.

LOV.

Drueger enters, and he beats him away.

Away you HARRY NICHOLAS, doe you talke?

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FAC.

No, this was ABEL DRVGGER. Good sir, goe, And satisfie him; tell him, all is done: He stay'd too long a washing of his face. The Doctor, he shall heare of him at Westchester; And of the Captayne, tell him at Yarmouth: or Some good port-towne else, lying for a winde. If you get off the angrie Child, now, sir—

KAS.

To his sister.

Come on, you yew, you haue match'd most sweetly, ha' you not? Did not I say, I would neuer ha' you tupt But by a dub'd Boy, to make you a lady-Tom? 'Slight, you are a mammet! O, I could touse you, now. Death, mun' you marry with a poxe?

LOV.

You lie, Boy; As sound as you: and I am afore-hand with you.

KAS.

Anone?

LOV.

Come, will you quarrell? I will feize you, sirrah. Why doe you not buckle to your tooles?

KAS.

Gods light! This is a fine old Boy, as ere I saw!

LOV.

What, doe you change your copy, now? Proceed, Here stands my doue: stoupe at her, if you dare.

KAS.

'Slight I must loue him! I cannot choose, i-faith! And I should be hang'd for't. Suster, I protest, I honor thee, for this match.

LOV.

O, doe you so, sir?

KAS.

Yes, and thou canst take tabacco, and drinke, old Boy, I'll giue her fiue hundred pound more, to her marriage, Then her owne state.

LOV.

Fill a pipe-full, IEREMIE.

FAC.

Yes, but goe in, and take it, sir.

LOV.

We will. I will be rul'd by thee in any thing, IEREMIE.

KAS.

'Slight, thou art not hide-bound! thou art a Iouy' Boy! Come let's in, I pray thee, and take our whiffes.

LOV.

Whiffe in with your sister, brother Boy. That master That had receiu'd such happinesse by a seruant, In such a widdow, and with so much wealth, Were very vngratefull, if he would not be A little indulgent to that seruants wit, And helpe his fortune, though with some small straine Of his owne candor. Therefore, gentlemen, And kind Spectators, if I haue out-stript

An old mans grauitie, or strict canon, thinke What a yong wife, and a good braine may doe: Stretch ages truth sometimes, and crack it too. Speake for thy selfe, knaue.

FAC.

So I will, sir. Gentlemen, My part a little fell in this last Scene, Yet 'twas decorum. And though I am cleane Got off, from SVBTLE, SVRLY, MAMMON, DOL, Hot ANANIAS, DAPPER, DRVGGER, all With whom I traded; yet I put my selfe On you, that are my countrey: and this pelfe, Which I haue got, if you doe quit me, rests To feast you often, and inuite new ghests.

Notes

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  To the Parson.