The workes of Beniamin Ionson

Act II. Scene V.

MOROSE, EPICOENE, CVTBERD, MVTE.

He goes about her, and viewes her.

WElcome CVTBERD; draw neere with you faire chardge: and, in her eare, softly intreat her to vnmasque (—) So. Is the dore shut? (—) inough. Now, CVTBERD, with the same discipline I vse to my family, I will question you. As I conceiue, CVTBERD, this gentlewoman is shee, you haue prouided, and brought, in hope shee will sit me in the place and person of a wife? Answer me not, but with your leg, vnlesse it be otherwise: (—) very well done CVTBERD. I conceiue, besides, CVTBERD, you haue beene pre-acquainted with her birth, educa∣tion, and quallities, or else you would not preferre her to my acceptance, in the waighty consequence of marriage. (—) this I conceiue, CVT∣BERD. Answer me not but with your leg, vnlesse it bee otherwise. (—) Very well done CVTBERD. Giue aside now a little, and leaue me to ex∣amine her condition, and aptitude to my affection. Shee is exceeding faire, and of a speciall good fauour; a sweet composition, or harmony of limmes: her temper of beauty has the true height of my blood. The knaue hath exceedingly wel fitted me without: I will now trie her within. Come neere, faire gentlewoman: let not my behauiour seeme rude, though vnto you,

She curtsies.

being rare, it may happely appeare strange. (—(Nay,

lady, you may speake, though CVTBERD, and my man, might not: for, of all sounds, onely, the sweet voice of a faire lady has the iust length of mine eares. I beseech you, say lady, out of the first fire of meeting eyes, (they say) loue is stricken: doe you feele any such motion, sodenly shot into you,

Curt'sie.

from any part you see in me? ha, lady? (—) Alasse, lady, these answers by silent curt'sies, from you, are too courtlesse, and simple. I haue euer had my breeding in court: and shee that shall bee my wife, must bee accomplished with courtly, and audacious ornaments. Can you speake lady?

EPI.

She speakes softly.

Iudge you, forsooth.

MOR.

What say you, lady? speake out, I beseech you.

EPI.

Iudge you, forsooth.

MOR.

Curt'sie.

O'my iudgement, a diuine softnes! but can you naturally, lady, as I enioyne these by doctrine & industry, referre your self to the search of my iudgement, and (not taking pleasure in your tougue, which is a wo∣mans chiefest pleasure) thinke it plausible, to answer me by silent ge∣stures, so long as my speeches iumpe right, with what you conceiue? (—) Excellent! diuine! if it were possible she should hold out thus! Peace CVTBRD, thou art made for euer, as thou hast made mee, if this felicitie haue lasting: but I will trie her further. Deare lady, I am courtly, I tell you, and I must haue mine eares banqueted with pleasant, and wittie con∣ferences, pretty girds, scoffes, and daliance in her, that I meane to choose for my bedpheere. The ladies in court, thinke it a most desperate impaire to their quickenesse of wit, and good carriage, if they cannot giue occa∣sion for a man to court 'hem; and, when an amorous discourse is set on foot, minister as good matter to continue it, as himselfe: and doe you a∣lone so much differ from all them, that, what they (with so much circum∣stance) affect, and toile for, to seeme learn'd, to seeme iudicious, to seeme sharpe, and conceited, you can bury in your selfe, with silence? and rather trust your graces to the faire conscience of vertue, then to the worlds, or your owne proclamation?

EPI.

I should be sorry else.

MOR.

What say you, ladie? good ladie, speake out.

EPI.

I should be sorrie, else

MOR.

That sorrow doth fill me with gladnesse! O MOROSE! thou art happie aboue mankinde! pray that thou maiest containe thy selfe. I will onely put her to it once more, and it shall be with the vtmost touch, and test of their sexe. But heare me, faire lady, I doe also loue to see her, whom I shall choose for my heicfar, to be the first and principall in all fa∣shions; praecede all the dames at court, by a fortnight; haue her coun∣sell of taylors, linneners, lace-women, embroyderers, and sit with 'hem sometimes twise a day, vpon French intelligences; and then come foorth, varied like Nature, or oftner then she, and better, by the helpe of Art, her aemulous seruant. This doe I affect. And how will you be able, lady, with this frugalitie of speech, to giue the manifold (but necessarie) instructions,

for that bodies, these sleeues, those skirts, this cut, that stitch, this em∣broyderie, that lace, this wire, those knots, that ruffe, those roses, this girdle, that fanne, the tother skarfe, these gloues? ha! what say you, ladie.

EPI.

I'll leaue it to you, sir.

MOR.

How lady? pray you, rise a note.

EPI.

I leaue it to wisdome, and you sir.

MOR.

Admirable creature! I will trouble you no more: I will not sinne against so sweet a simplicity. Let me now be bold to print on those diuine lips, the seale of being mine. CVTBERD, I giue thee the lease of thy house free: thanke me not, but with thy leg (—) I know what thou woulst say, shee's poore, and her friends deceased; shee has brought a wealthy dowr••e in her silence, CVTBERD: and in respect of her pouerty, CVTBERD, I shall haue her more louing, and obedient, CVTBERD. Goe thy waies, and get me a minister presently, with a soft-low voice to marry vs, and pray him he will not be impertinent, but briefe as he can; away: softly, CVTBERD. Sirrah, conduct your mistris into the dining roome, your now—mistris. O my felicity! how I shall bee reueng'd on mine inso∣lent kinsman, and his plots, to fright me from marrying! This night I will get an heire, and thrust him out of my bloud like a stranger; he would be knighted, forsooth, and thought by that meanes to raigne ouer me, his title must doe it: no kinsman, I will now make you bring mee the tenth lords, and the sixteenth ladies letter, kinsman; and it shall doe you no good kinsman. Your knighthood it selfe shall come on it's knees, and it shall be reiected; it shall bee sued for it's fees to execution, and not bee re∣deem'd; it shall cheat at the tweluepeny ordinary, it knighthood, for it's diet all the terme time, and tell tales for it in the vacation, to the hostesse: or it knighthood shall doe worse; take sanctuary in Coleharbor, and fast. It shall fright all it friends, with borrowing letters; and when one of the foure-score hath brought it knighthood ten shillings, it knighthood shall go to the Cranes, or the Beare at the Bridge-foot, and be drunk in feare: it shal not haue money to discharge one tauerne reckoning, to inuite the old creditors, to forbeare it knighthood; or the new, that should be, to trust it knighthood. It shall be the tenth name in the bond, to take vp the com∣moditie of pipkins, and stone jugs; and the part thereof shall not furnish it knighthood forth, for the attempting of a bakers widdow, a browne bakers widdow. It shall giue it knighthoods name, for a stallion, to all gamesome citizens wiues, and bee refus'd; when the master of a dancing schoole, or (How do you call him) the worst reueller in the towne is taken: it shall want clothes, and by reason of that, wit, to foole to lawyers. It shall not haue hope to repaire it selfe by Constantinople, Ireland, or Virgi∣nia; but the best, and last fortune to it knighthood shall be, to make DOL TEARE-SHEET, or KATE COMMON, a lady: and so, it knighthood may eate.