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KNow you this gingling bridle, if you see't agen? I wanted but a paire of gingling spurs to make you mend your pace, and put you into a sweat.
Yes, I have reason to know it after my
hard journey, they say there be light women, but for your owne part, though you be merry. Yet I may be sorry for your heavi∣nesse.
I see thou art not quite tyr'd by shaking of thy selfe, 'tis a signe that as thou hast brought mee hither, so thou art able to beare mee backe, and so you are like good Robert. You will not let me have your masters gelding, you will not. Wel fir, as you like this journey, so deny him to me hereafter.
You say well mistresse, you have jaded me (a pox take you for a jade.) Now I bethinke my selfe how damnably did I ride last night, and how divellishly have I bin rid now.
Doe you grumble you groome? Now the bridl's of, I turne thee to grazing gramercy my good horse, I have no bet∣ter provender for thee at this time, thou hadst best like Aesops Asse to feed upon Thistles, of which this place will affoord thee plenty. I am bid to a better banquet, which done, ile take thee up from grasse, spur •…•…utt, and •…•…ake a short cutt home. Farewell.
A pox upon your tayle.
The Lady of the feast is come, welcome, welcome.
Is all the cheare that was prepared to grace the wed∣ding feast, yet come?
My horse, my horse, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
My horse, my horse, I would I were now some country Major, and in authority, to see if I would not venter to rowze your Satanicall sisterhood: Horse, horse, see thou be, & where •…•… point thee, ca•…•…y me: is that the trick on't? the divel himselfe shall be her carrier next if I can shun her: & yet my Mr. will not be∣leeve theres any witches: theres no ru•…•…ning away; for I neither know how nor whether, besides to my thinking, theres a deepe di•…•…ch, & a hye quick-set about mee, how shall I passe the time? What place is this? it looks like an old barne: ile peep in at some cranny or other, and try if I can see what they are doing. Such a bevy of beldames did I never behold; and 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
like so many Cormorants: Marry choke you with a mis∣chiefe.
Whoope, whurre, heres a sturre, never a cat, never a curre, but that we must have this demurre.
A second course.
Ha, ha, ha.
'Tis come, 'tis come.
Where hath it all this while beene?
A pox take them, must only they feed upon hot meat, and I upon nothing but cold sallads
Ha, ha, ha.
Boy, theres meat for you.
Thanke you.
And drinke too.
What Beast was by thee hither rid?
A Badger nab.
Ha, ha, ha, upon the knave my man.
A murrein take you, I am sure my hoofes payd for't.
Meat lie there, for thou hast no taste, and drinke there, for thou hast no relish, for in neither of them is there either salt or savour.
Pull for the posset, pull.
The brides posset on my life, nay if they come to their spoone meat once, I hope theil breake up their feast presently.
We are obeyd.
And we hels ministers shall lend our aid.
Now whilest they are in their jollitie, and do not mind me, ile steale away, and shift for my selfe, though I lose my life for't.
But stay, wheres the Boy, looke out, if he e∣scape us, we are all betrayed.
Where shall we next met?
At Mil•…•…▪
But when?
At Night.
To horse, to horse.
VVhere's my Mamilian.
And my Incubus.
My Tyger to bestri'd.
My Puggie.
My horse.
I pray Mistresse ride me as you would be rid.
That's at full speed,
Nay then Ile try Conclusions.
Mare Mare, see thou be, And where I point thee carry me.Yes sir, he's broad buttock'd and full flanck'd, he doth not bate an ace of his flesh.
When was he rid last?
Not sir since you backt him.
Who I sir, may I dye sir, if you finde me in a lye sir.
Then I shall finde him where I left him last.
No doubt Sir.
Give me the Key o'th Stable.
There Sir.
Well sir, finde what you can, him you shall finde, and what you finde else; it may befor that, instead of Gramercy horse, you may say Gramercy Robin; you will beleeve there are no Witches! had I not been late brideled, I coo'd have sayd more, but I hope she is ty'd to the racke that will confesse some∣thing, and though not so much as I know, yet no more then I dare justifie—
Have you found your Gelding sir?
Yes, I have.
I hope not spurr'd, nor put into a sweat, you 'may see by his plump belly and fleeke legs he hath not bin sore travail'd.
I hope sir you find•…•… none feeding there but your owne, if there be any you suspect, they have nothing to champeon, but the Bridle.
Sirrah, whose jade is that ty'd to the Racke?
The Mare you meane sir?
Yes, that old Mare.
Old doe you call her? You shall finde the marke still in her mouth, when the Bridle is out of it? I can assure you 'tis your owne Beast.
Ile not perswade you to any thing, you will beleeve nothing but what you see, I say the Beast is your owne, and you have most right to keepe her, shee hath cost you more the currying, then all the Combs in your Stable are worth. You have paid for her Provender this twentie yeares and upwards, and furnisht her with all the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 that she hath worne, of my Knowledge, and because she hath been ridden hard the last Night, doe you renounce her now?
I am sure I •…•…ound her no •…•…ade the l•…•…st time I rid her, she carried me the best part of a hundred Miles in lesse then a quar∣ter of an houre.
The divell she did!
Yes so I say, •…•…ither the d•…•…ell or she did; an't please you 〈◊〉〈◊〉 in and take off her 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and then tell me who hath more right to her, you or •…•….
I pray doe Sir, but take heed lest when the Bridle is out of her mouth, she put it not into yours; if she doe, you are a gone man: if she but say once▪ Horse, horse, see thou be. Be you rid (if you please) for me.
Sir.
You will beleeve no VVitches?
I am Robin, and this your wife, my Mrs.
A Bridle, •…•… •…•…ugling Bridle Sir.
Take heed Sir what you do, if you cast it hence, and she catch it up, we that are here now, may be rid as far as the Indies within these few houres, Mistresse down of your Mares bones, or your Mary-bones whether you please, and confesse your selfe to be what you are; and that's in plaine English a Witch, a grand notorius Witch.
A Witch! my wife a Witch!
So it appeares by the storie.
It cannot be deny'd, I am such a curst Creature.
Pardon sir.
I am.
O I have.
What? and how farre?
I have promis'd him my soule.
What chee•…•…e sir, show your selfe a man, though she ap∣pear'd so late a Beast; Mistresse confesse all, better here than in a worse place, out with it.
Resolve me, how farre doth that contract stretch?
I hope not so.
Why hast thou any hope?
Yes Sir I have.
Make it appeare to me.
I would see some of them.
May I presum't?
I kneele to both your Mercies.
Know'st thou what a VVitch is?
Sir they are.
I shall Sir, well now my Mistresse hath promis'd to give over her Witchery, I hope though I still continue her man, yet she will make me no more her journey-man; to prevent which the first thing I doe shall be to burne the Bridle, and then a∣way with the Witch.
Sir you have done a right noble courtesie, which de∣serves a memory, as long as the name of friendship can beare mention.
What I have done, I ha'done, if it be well, 'tis well, J doe not like the bouncing of good Offices, if the little care I have taken shall doe these poore people good, I have my end in't, and so my reward.
Now Gentlemen, you seeme very serious.
'Tis true we are so, but you are welcome to the know∣ledge of our affayres.
How does thine Vncle and Aunt, Gregory and his si∣ster, the Families of Seelyes agree yet, can you tell?
That is the businesse, the Seely houshold is divided now.
How so I pray?
•…•…as poore folks, they are as farre to seeke of how they doe, or what they doe, or what they should doe, as any of the rest, they are all growne Ideots, and till some of these dam∣nable jades, with their divellish devises bee found out, tod s∣charme them, no remedy can be found, I mean to lay the Coun∣try for their Hagships, and if J can anticipate the purpose, of their grand Mr. Divell to confound'em before their lease be out, be sure ile do 't▪
A Skimington, a Skimmington, a Skimington.
Whats the matter now, is Hell broke loose?
Tom Shakstone, how now, canst tell the newes?
The news, ye heare it up i'th aire, do you not?
A Skimington, a Skimington, a Skimington.
Hearke ye, do you not heare it? theres a Skimington, to∣wards gentlemen.
Ware Wedlocke hoe.
At whose suit I prithee is Don Skimington come to towne.
Ile tell you gentlemen, since you have taken home old Seely and his wife to your house, and you their son and daugh∣ter to •…•…ours, the house-keepers Lawrence, and his late bride Parnell are fallen out by themselves.
How prithee?
The quarell began they say upon the wedding night, and in the bride bed.
For want of bedstaves?
No but a better implement it seemes the bridegroome was unprovided of, a homely tale to tell.
Now out upon her shee has a greedy worme in her, I have heard the fellow complain'd on, for an over mickle m•…•…n a∣mong the maids.
Is his haste to goe to bed at afternoone come to this now?
Witchery, witcher•…•…, more witcherie still flat and plaine witchery. Now do I thinke upon the codpeece point the young jade gave him at the wedding: shee is a witch, and th•…•… was a charme, if there be any in the World.
A ligatory point.
Alas poore Lawrence.
He's comming to make his mone to you about it, and sh•…•… too, since you have taken their masters & mistresses to your care, you must do them right too.
Marry but ile not undertake her at these yeares, if lusty Lawrence cannot do't.
But has she beaten him?
Grievously broke his head in I know not how many places: of which the hoydens have taken notice, and will have a Ski•…•…mington on horse-backe presently. Looke ye, here comes both plaintiffe and defendant.
How now Lawrence, what has thy wedlock brought thee already to thy night-cap?
Yie gadwat sir, I ware wadded but aw to seun.
Han yeou reeson to complayne or ay trow yeou gaffer Downought? Wa warth the day that ever I wadded a Dow∣nought.
Nay hold Parnel hold.
We have heard enough of your valour already, wec know you have beaten him, let that suffice.
Ware ever poore mayden betrayed as a•…•… ware unto a swagbellied Carle that cannot aw waw that cannot.
What saies she?
I know not, she catterwawles I think. Parnel be patient good Parnell, and a little modest too, 'tis not amisse, wee know not the relifh of every eare that heares vs, lets talke within our selves. Whats the defect? Whats the impediment? Lawrence has had a lusty name among the Batch•…•…llors.
What he ware when he ware a Batchelor, I know bet∣ter than the best maid ith tawne. I wad I had not.
Peace Parnell.
'Tware that, that cossen'd me, he has not now as he had than?
Peace good Parnell.
For then he could, •…•…nt now he connot, he connot.
Fie Parnel fie.
I say agean and agean, hee connot, he connot.
Alas poore •…•…arnel.
I am not a bit the be•…•…ter for him sin wye ware wad. Cries
Heres good stuff•…•… for a jurie of women to passe upon.
He's out of a doing case it seemes.
Marry sir, and beat him will •…•… into his grave, or backe to the Priest, and be unwaddded agone, for I wonot bee baund to lig with him and live with him the laife of an honest woman for aw the layves good i'Loncoshire.
An honest woman: thats a good mind Parnel What say you to this Lawrence?
Keepe her of o'me, and I shan teln •…•…eou, and she be by I am no body: But keep her off and search me, let me be searcht as never witch was searcht, and finde ony thing mor or lasse upo me than a sufficient mon shold have, and let me be hon•…•… by't.
Do you heare this Parnell?
Ah leear, leear, deell tacke the leear, troist yee and hong yee.
And so is she bewitcht too into this immodesty.
She would never talke so else
I prayn yeow gi' me the lere o'that Latine sir.
The meaning is, you must get halfe a dozen bastards Within this twelvemoneth, and that will mend your next ma∣riage.
And I thought it would ma' Parnel, love me i'd be sure on't, and gang about it now right.
Y'are soone provided it seems for such a journey.
Best tarry till thy head be whole Lawrence.
Hear•…•…e gentleme•…•…, the shew is comming.
What shall we stay & see't.
O by all means Gent.
'Tis best to have these away first.
Nay mary shan eou not sir, I heare yeou well e•…•…ogh, & I con the meaning o'the show well enogh, & I stay not the show & see not the show, & •…•…a'one i'the show, let me be honckt up for a show ile ware them to mel or ma with a woman that mels or mae's with a testril a longie, a dow little losell that connot, & if I skim not their skimingtons cockskeam for't, ma that warplin boggle me a week lonker, & thats a curse eno'for any wife I tro.
from the boord, and yet for ought I can see I am never a whit the neerer What not one kisse at parting 〈◊〉〈◊〉?
Very good, I like this beginning well: for where they sleighted me before, they shall finde me a man of note.
Of this the meaning
Heer's a more privat roome gentlemen, free from the noise of the Hall. Here we may •…•…alke, and throw the chamber out of the casements. Some wine and a short banquet.
So now leave us.
Yes, I thanke my A•…•…nt; for though I be but a daily guest yet I can be w•…•…lcome to her at midnight.
How shall we passe the time?
In some discourse.
But no such discourse as we had last, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ech you.
I thinke so too; but whats that amongst friends, for I would faine know which amongst you all knowes his owne fa∣ther.
You are merrie with your friends, good master •…•…∣Blow, and wee are guests here in your Vnckles house, and there∣fore priviledged.
I presume you had no more priviledge in your getting than 〈◊〉〈◊〉. But tell me gentlemen, is there any man here amongst you, that hath a minde to see his father?
Why, who shall shew him?
Thats all one; if any man here desire it, let him but speake the word, and 'tis sufficient.
Why, I would see my father.
Strike.
Doe you know him that lookes so full in your face;
In his house, that goes for your father you would say: For know one morning, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 your mothers husband rid early to have a Nisi prius tryed at Lancaster Syzes, hee crept into his warme place, lay close by her side, and then were you got. Then come, your heeles and tayle 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and kneele 〈◊〉〈◊〉 your own deare father.
Ha, ha, ha.
I am abused.
Why laugh you Gentlemen? It may be more mens cases than his or mine. Bant. To be thus 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
Would either of you two now see his father in earnest
Yes, canst thou shew me mine?
〈◊〉〈◊〉.
Hee lookes on you speake, doe you know him?
Yes, he was my mothers Taylor, I remember him e∣ver since I was a childe.
Who when hee came to take measure of her upper parts had more minde to the lower, whilest the good man was in the fields hunting, he was at home 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
Then, since no better comfort 〈◊〉〈◊〉 be had, Come downe, come downe, aske blessing of your dad.Ha, ha, ha
This cannot be indur'd.
Strike.
He points at you.
What then?
You know him.
Yes, Robin 〈◊〉〈◊〉 groome belonging to this house.
And never served your father?
In's youth I thinke he did.
Who when your supposed father had businesse at the Lord Presidents Court in Yorke, stood for his Atturney at home, & so it seems you were got by deputy: what all a mort? if
you will have but a little patience, stay & you shall see mine too:
And know I shew you him the rather, To finde who hath the best man to his Father.〈◊〉〈◊〉—
Now Gentlemen make me your President, learne your duties, and 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 I doe—A blessing Dad.
: Nay Gent. no 〈◊〉〈◊〉 in 〈◊◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊◊〉 begun in 〈◊〉〈◊〉, let's not end in 〈◊〉〈◊〉; you see 〈◊〉〈◊〉 are more By-blowes than beare the 〈◊〉〈◊〉; It is growne a great kindred in the Kingdome. Come, come, all friends; Let's into the Cellar and conclude our Revels in a lusty health.
I faine would strike, but cannot.
Some strange fate holds me.
Now say what's next?