A pleasant comedy, called A mayden-head well lost As it hath beene publickly acted at the Cocke-pit in Drury-lane, with much applause: by her Maiesties Seruants. Written by Thomas Heyvvood.
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- Title
- A pleasant comedy, called A mayden-head well lost As it hath beene publickly acted at the Cocke-pit in Drury-lane, with much applause: by her Maiesties Seruants. Written by Thomas Heyvvood.
- Author
- Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641.
- Publication
- London :: Printed by Nicholas Okes for Iohn Iackson and Francis Church, and are to be sold at the Kings Armes in Cheape-side,
- 1634.
- Rights/Permissions
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- Link to this Item
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http://name.umdl.umich.edu/A03240.0001.001
- Cite this Item
-
"A pleasant comedy, called A mayden-head well lost As it hath beene publickly acted at the Cocke-pit in Drury-lane, with much applause: by her Maiesties Seruants. Written by Thomas Heyvvood." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A03240.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed June 10, 2024.
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They are if please your Ladiship: though I was neuer Tawny-coate, I haue playd the summoners part, and the rest are already paide, onely these three attend your Ladiships re∣muneration.
He was no lesse; and all you know hee was no more, well, had he liu'd, I had beene plac't in some house of office or other ere this time.
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I but Madam, this is a hard case being truly conside∣red, to giue away all, why your Shoe-maker, though he hath many other Tooles to worke with, he will not giue away his All.
VVhy, say I had a peece of Meate, I had a mind to, I might perhaps giue away a Modicum, a Morcell, a Frag∣ment or so, but to giue away and bee a hungry my selfe, I durst not doo't for my Guts, or say I should meete with a friend that had but one Penny in his Purse, that should giue mee a Pot of Ale, that should drinke to me, and drinke vp all, I'le stand too't there's no Conscience in't.
Troth Madam, I could find in my heart to goe with you but for one thing.
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Because you are too liberall a Mistresse: and that's a fault seldome found among Ladies: For looke, you vse o giue away all, and I am all that is left; and I am affraide when you come into a strange Countrey, you'le giue away me too, so that I shall neuer liue to be my owne man.
Actus Secundus, Scena prima.
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That word all
Stickes more in my stomacke then my victuals can: For in∣deede wee can get none to eate now; I told you, you were so prodiga'l we should pinch for't.
Why this is the Duke-dome of Florence, and this is the Forrest where the hard-hearted Duke hunts many a Hart: and there's no Deere so deare to him, but hee'le kill it: as goodly a large place to starue in, as your Ladiship can de∣sire to see in a Summers day.
How better starue then begge; all the Ladies of Florence shal neuer make me of that beleefe. I had rather beg a thousand times, then starue once, doe you scorne begging? Your betters doe not, no Madam; get me a Snap-sacke, I'le to Florence: I'le make all the high wayes ring of me with for the Lords sake. I haue studied a Prayer for him that giues, and a Poxe take him that giues nothing: I haue one for the Horse-way, another for the Foote-way, and a third for the turning-ftile. No Madam, begging is growne a gentleman∣like Calling here in our Countrey.
You had better keepe your Gold, and trust to my begging Oratory, yet this is the worst they can say to mee,
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that I am my Ladies Bottle-man.
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What if he be? he may loue a Wench as well as a∣nother man.
A bottle of Wine and a Manchet that my Lady sent me for.
Yes, when? can you tell? doe you thinke I am such an Asse, to part so lightly with my liquor? Know thou my friend, before I could get this bottle fill'd, I was glad to change a piece of Gold, and call for the rest againe. And doe you thinke I'le loose my liquor, and haue no Gold nor rest a∣gaine? Not so my Friend, not so.
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I had rather you had broke my pate then my draught, but harke you Sir, are you as a man should say, a belonger to?
I desire you the more complement: I haue the cour∣tesie of the Forrest for you.
That's to bring me to the Buttery hatch, and neuer make me drinke.
How now sawce-boxe, know your manners: was not I Gentleman vsher before you came? Am not I hee that did the bottle bring? Come Ladies follow me.
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Explicit Actus Secundus.
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Nay, nay, the case is alter'd with mee since you saw me last: I was neuer in any hope to purchase any other suite then that I wore yesterday; but now I can say Ecce sig∣num, the case is alter'd. Now euery begger comes vpon me with good Gentleman, good Gentleman: when yesterday Gen∣tlemen would haue shun'd the way for feare I should haue begg'd of them. Then comes another vpon mee with good your Worship, good your Worship, then doe I double my fyles, and cast him a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 two pence.
Tnou say'st true; for he hath chang'd our woodden Dishes to Si uer Coblets: goodly large Arras that neuer yet deseru'd hanging, he hath caus'd to be hang'd round about the Chamber: My Lady and Mistresse, now my Lady and Mistresse lyes ouer head and cares in Downe and Feathers: well, if they be rui'd by me, I would haue them to keepe their beds.
Oh dull ignorant ! I meane knowing how hard they haue bin lodg'd in the Forrest; I would not haue them sell a∣way their beds, and lie vpon the boords.
Ey, ey; thou may'st get much vnderstanding by keeping my company: But Sir, does not the new Gowne the Prince sent my Mistresse, become her most incompa∣rably?
'Tis true: 'tis strange to see how Apparrell makes or maries.
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Right: for yeasterday thou wouldst haue taken me for a very Clowne, a very Clowne; and now to see, to see.—
To see if the Tayler that made your Gowne, hath put ne're an M••vn••er your Girdle, there belongs more to bea∣ten S••tin then sirrah.
Shee talkes: Now, if shee should be enuamored of my comely shape; for I haue (as they say) such a foolish yong and relenting heart I should neuer say her nay, I should ne∣uer weare off this stand further off.
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So hoe Mistris Madam, yonder is the Prince, and two or three Gentlemen come riding vpon the goodliest Hor∣ses that euer I set my eyes vpon: and the Princes Horse did no sooner see me, but he weeighed and wagg'd his tayle: now I thinking he had done it to take acquaintance of me, said a∣gaine to him, Gramery Horse; so I left them, and came to tell your Ladiship.
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Are you close at it? and you too crabbed Age, and you the—there's Rods in pisse for some of you.
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Nay, I must feele your pulse first, for if a Womans pulse bee neere a place, I know there's few heere of my yeeres but would bee glad to turne Doctors.
Nay, if it bee nothing else, Ile fetch that will cure you presently.
Child I must chide you, you giue too much way vnto this humour: It alters much your beautie.
Where is hee? Why at the Court; where should hee bee? I did but doo't to make you smile: Nay, Ile tickle you for a Doctor: Madam I haue a yeeres wages before hand.
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Why doe you weepe? You blam'd mee now for sigh∣ing: Why doe you melt in teares? Sweet what's the cause?
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Reade, the Contents will shew you; their eyes are from mee, and I must hence.
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Let me see, the Prince is to bee married to morrow, and my young Mistris meanes to keepe a Feast in the Forrest, in honour of his wedding at the Court: Now am I sent as Ca∣terer into the City to prouide them victualls, which they charg'd me to buy; no ordinary fare, no more it shall, and therefore I haue cast it thus; First and foremost, wee will haue—(yes downe it shall) we will haue a Gammon of Bacon roasted, and stufft with Oysters; And sixe Black-Puddings to bee serued vp in Sorrell-sops; A pickell'd shoulder of Mutton, and a surloyne of Beefe in White-broth, so much for the first course. Now, for the second, we will haue a Cherry-Tart cut into Rashers and broyled; A Custard Carbonado'd on the coales; A liue Eele
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swimming in clowted Creame; And sixe Sheepes-heads baked, with the hornes peer••••gout of the pasty-crust. The morrall is, because it is a wedding dinner.
What, my old Polititian? hee that vndermin'd my old Lady and my yong Mistris? now that I could find but one stratagem to blow him vp; I would tosse him, I would blanket him i'th Ayre, and make him cut an Italian caper in the Clouds: These Polititians can doe more execution with a pen, in their studies, then a good Souldier with his sword in the field, but he hath spi'd mee.
And you too, I should haue knowne, but whether for a friend, or no, ther's the question?
I confesse it; but whether you haue seru'd him well, or no, there hangs a Tale.
Some three miles off, here in the Forrest, not halfe an houres riding.
You shall not want directions to find the place, come when you will, you shall be most heartily—poyson'd.
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Stroza, Thy Head is of a compely Block, And would shew well, crown'd with the combe of Cock: His Face an Inne, his Brow a sluttish Roome, His Nose the Chamberlaine, his Beard the Broome, Or like New-market Heath, that makes theeues rich, In which his Mouth stands iust like Deuills-ditchAnd so farewell to your worship, graue Mounsieur Stroza, For I must about my market.
Actus Quartus.
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Maddam, yonder's a Gentleman comes to speake with you in all hast.
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Actus Quintus.
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Your Lordship hath bin vp already, when shee was downe: I hope if the thing you wott of goe no worse forward then it hath hegun, and that you take charge of my young Lady, you neede not bee altogether vnmindfull of her Gentleman-Vsher.