Philocothonista, or, The drunkard, opened, dissected, and anatomized

THE SECOND TRACTATE. (Book 2)

CHAP. VIII. Of our English Drunkards. The titles they give one to another, with the varietie of their drin∣king Cups, and Vessells.

TO leave all other natives, and now at last to turne our eyes inward, and looke back upon our selues, w•…•…e by comparing their ryotts, excesses, intem∣perances, surfets, varietie of drinkes, and choyce of quaf∣sing Cups with ours frequent in our land, rather for figure, or syze, Mettall, or matter, shall easi∣ly find, that wee are so farte from comming short of them in any one thing, that wee appa∣rently exceede th•…•…m in all things, first, where∣as other languages afford but some few wordes,

as amongst the Grecians, Philocothonista; the Latines, Ebrius, or Bibax; the Spaniards, Bora∣chio: The French, Yurogne: The Italian, Boraco, and so of the rest. To title a drunkard by, wee (as loath to give such a name, so grosse and harsh) strive to character him in a more mincing and modest phrase; as thus:

Hee is a good fellow, Or, A boone Companion, A mad Greeke, A true Tojan, A stiffe Blade, One that is steele to the backe, A sound Card, A merry Comrage, A Low-Countrey Souldier, One that will take his rowse, One that will drinke deepe, though it bee a mile to the bottome, One that knowes how the Cards are dealt, One that will be flush of all foure, One that will be subtile as a Fox, One that will drinke till the ground lookes blew, One that will wynde up his bottome, One that beares up stiffe, One whose nose is durty, One whom the Brewers horse hath bit, One that ca•…•… relish all waters,

One that knowes of which side his bread is butter'd, One that drinkes vpse-freeze, One that drinkes supernaculum, One that layes downe his eares and drinkes, One that can sup off his Sider, &c..

Next for variety of drinking Cups, we need* 1.1 not be said to come neere, but to goe farre be∣yond the Grecians, of whose carow sing bowles I have before given you a sufficient catalogue; di∣vers and sundry sorts wee have, some of Elme,* 1.2 some of Box, some of Maple, some of Holly, &c. Mazers, broad-mouth'd dishes, Noggins, whis∣kins, Piggins, Crinzes, Al•…•…-bowles, Wassell-bowles, Court-dishes, Tankards, Kannes, from a Pottle to a Pint, from a Pint to a Gill: other Bottles wee* 1.3 have of Leather, but they most used amongst the Shepheards, and haruest people of the Countrey; small Iacks wee have in many Ale∣houses of the Citie, and Suburbs, tipt with sil∣uer, besides the great black Iacks, and bombards at the Court, which when the French-men first saw, they reported at their returne into their Countrey, that the English-men used to drinke out of their Bootes; wee have besides, cups made of hornes of beasts, of Cocker-nutts, of Goords, of the egges of Estriches, others made of the shells of divers fishes brought from the In∣dies, and other places, and shining like mother of 〈◊〉〈◊〉: Infinite there are of all measures, and

fashions model'd of earth, Cotili, and Dycotili, single pots, and double pots, some plaine, others of many colours: Insomuch that the Dutch-men have removed their Furnaces hither, and driven a great trade as if our owne Nation and soyle, could not either asford vs earth, and clay enough, or worke-men sufficient to maintaine our 〈◊〉〈◊〉: some I have seene made in the forme or figure of beasts, as of Doggs, Catts, Apes, and Horses, others of Fishes, as Dolphins, &c. But the most curious and costly, either for Workmanship, or Mettall, are brought from China: Of glasses to* 1.4 quaffe in, the fashions and sizes be almost with∣out number, some transported hither from Venice, and other places, some made in the Citie by strangers; besides the ordinary sort, I have seene some like Shipps under-sayle, accommo∣dated with Mastes, Sayles, Ordnance, Cable, Anchor, and saylors to man her: others like boates, Lyons, Ratts, Trumpets, and indeede what not? Come to plate, Every Taverne can* 1.5 afford you flat bowles, French bowles, Prounct Cups, Beare-bowles, Beakers, and private hou∣shoulders in the Citie, when they make a Feast to entertaine their friends, can furnish their cup∣bords, with Flagons, Tankards, Beere cups. Wine-bowles, some whire, some percell guilt, some guilt all over, some with covers, others without, of sundry shapes and qualities. Many can make showes of 50. pounds, or an hundred Marke-worth of plate upon his Table, when hee

hath scare an hundred shillings to dance in his pocket, and that makes the proverbe to grow so common amongst them. A good pa•…•…ne never shames his master. But come to a great mans In∣vitation in the Citi•…•…, the varietie and value of their plate, were it not so common, might to some appeare wonderfull: what then may wee imagine the estate of the Nobilitie, and the Court to be in that kind: No question without valuation; Insomuch that divers of good expe∣rience and Iudgement have beene of opinion; that the Plate doth much out-value the Coyne in the Kingdome: you see how wee may com∣pare with others in varietie of cups, let us now examine what competitor-ship wee can claime with them in diversitie of drinks.

CHAP. XI. What forraine Wines and sundry sorts of drinks are now frequent in this Kingdome.

IT is unquestionable, but that where other nations and Provin∣ces are contented with such wines or other liquors as their owne Climats affoord; Yet we, as if do∣ting upon insatiety, borrow from them all: From the French; Red, White, Claret, Graves, High-coun∣trey,

Gallicke, from Gascoyne, Rochel, Orleance, &c. From the Spaniard, all kinds of Sacks, as Malligo, Charnio, Sherry, Canary, Lcatiea, Palerno, Fr•…•…ntini∣ack, Peeter-see-mee, Vino deriba 〈◊〉〈◊〉, Vino dita Frontina, Vino blanco, Moscatell perarsarvina Ca∣lis, Callon gallo paracomer, &c. And from other Islands, sweet wines, B•…•…stard white and browne, Raspis, Tent, Halligant, Melnisee, Muskadell. From Germany; Rhennish, Backrag, &c. And besides these, sundry Greeke wines; to every of which, as they but vary in taste, so they giue them new a∣dulterate names never before heard of. We have moreover Wine of the Vintners owne making conjvred from the rest: Ip•…•…cras white and red, Boxt Alligant with Sugar and Eggs; Stitch∣broth brew'd with rose-water and Sugar, Burn'd∣Sacke; Burn'd-Wine; Muld-Wine; Tomlons∣Balderdash, &c. And notwithstanding we have it in our owne dominions, Metheglin from Wales, and nearer hand, Whey, Perry, Syder, Beare, Braggat, and Ale: To adde to these chiefe and multipli∣city of wines, before named, yet there be Stills and Limbecks going, swetting out Aquavitae and strong waters, deriving their names from Cy∣namon, Lemmons, Balme, Angelica, Anniseed, Sto∣mach-water, Humm, &c. And to fill up the num∣ber, we have plenty both of Vsque-ba'he and Scotch-Ale; neither can I thinke that any nation under the Sunne thirst more after variery of variety.

But I could wish all our deep Carowsers and

health-quaffers to listen to the words and coun∣sell of Zenophon, who thus saith, I would have all my friends to drinke Wine, but with a limit and moderation; for when it hath water'd and quick∣ned the spirits, It qualifieth cares, and expells* 1.6 the dolourous passions of the mind; it •…•…th the power of Mandragora to provoke men to quie•…•… and sound sleepe, and as oyle putteth life into the flame, so it wakens and stirres up the dull and slothfull spirits to agility and quicknesse; for mens bodies may be compared to the flowers and plants of the e•…•…th; for when they are over∣watered, and almost drown'd with suddaine showers; and tedious and intempestive Raine: they droope, and hang their heads, as not able to hold them up, through the extremitie of moy∣sture: but when they receive a gentle dewe, and drinke no more from the soft melting cloudes then is sufficient, they appeare much refreshed, and are made more capable thereby of suddaine grouth, and fertile production, so wee, when wee poure into our bodies deepe and lavish cups, they dull the understanding, darken the eyes, captive the sences, suffocate the breath, dull the tongue, making vs neither fit for speech, nor motion; but to drinke moderately sharpeneth the appothite, helpeth digestion, and prepareth the spirits to active mirth and alacritie. Our Feasts, banquets, and meetings should be rather ordered and prepared like that of which Zeno∣phanes Colophonius speaketh, expressing himselfe in these words:

Iamque solum purum, est manus huic & pocula cunctis, Puraque quae-cingit nexa corona caput, &c.

Cleane swept the flower, white hands, Pots without staine And pure and fresh the Crowne that girts thy braine. An unguent one Cup holds, with odours sweete, A second fraught is brought, these a third meete, Full of sweete smelling flowers, in midst of which Another bowle is plac't, thats fil'd with rich And purest Frankinsence, the feast to gr••ce, Whose devine smell doth sweeten all the place: Fresh pleasant water is not wanting there, Vpon the the reverend Table; All the cheere Is Yellow cakes, pure Hony, and fat cheese: The Altan that stands by, hath the degrees With faire flowers strowed, so likewise is the ground, With festive songs, the Courts about resound. They offer first unto the Powers divine, (As good men ought) before they taste their Wine: With hearts sinceere, unto the Gods they pray, That nothing ill may there be done that day. They doe not drinke to surfit, but for thirst, Ryot with them is starv'd, and temperance nurst; Extreames they shun, the meane they doe not breake, Not he that most can drinke, but best can speake, Hath their repute. All quarrells they extrude, Mong'st them the Giants warres are not renew'd; Nor Centaines Feasts: but in their cups they beare, Hearts like the Gods, so upright and sinceere.

The like we reade in the Excellent Poet Ana∣creon.

Nullus amicus erit, qui tecum pocula siccat, Dum rixas bella &c.

No friend of thine let such a man be held, Who when he empties cups with thee: is swel'd With rage to braule and fight, but onely hee With whom the Muses, and sweete mirth agree.

CHAP. XII. Of a new order of drinking lately come up amongst us, call'd a drinking Schoole or Library. The de∣grees taken in the Schoole: The Tongues and Bookes which they studdy, with the severall titles proper to the Professors of that Art.

HOw farre f•…•…om these and the like, our Bachinalls are, may appeare by the sequell; For there is now pro∣fest an eight liberal Art or Si•…•…nce call'd Ars bibendi, •…•…. the Art of Drinking. The Students or Professors thereof, call à gre•…•…ne Garland, or painted hoope hang'd out, A Colledge: A signe where there is lodging, mans-meate, and horse-meate: An Inne of Court an Hall, or an Hostle, where nothing is sold but Ale and Tobacco, A Grammar Schoole: A red or blew Lattice, that they terme A free Schoole, for all commers.

Now wee know that in all Schooles there are severall degrees to be attain'd unto, therefore they in their deepe understandings, and pro∣sound

Iudgements have thought it exped•…•…ent to call:

A fatt corpulent Fellow, A master of Art. A leane Drunkard, A Batchelor. Hee that hath a Purple face inchac't with Rubies, and such o∣ther ornaments. A Batchelor of Law: Hee that hath a red nose; A Doctor, and hee that goes to schoole by sixe a clock in the morning, and hath his lesson perfit by eleven; him they doe hold to be a pregnant Schollar, and grace him with that Title.

Now before they goe to study, at what time of the day, or night soever it is necessary to know what language:

If the English Tongue,	He drinkes	Al•…•….* 1.7
If the Dutch,		Beare.
If the Spanish,		Sack•…•…, or Canari•…•….
If Italian,		B•…•…stard.
If the Grecian,		Rennish, or 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
If Irish,		Vsqueba'he.
If Wel•…•…,		〈◊〉〈◊〉.
If Latine,		Hallig•…•….
If Greeke,		Muskadell.
If Hebrew,		Hypocr•…•….

The bookes which they studdy, and whose leaves they so often turne over, are for the most part three of the old translation, and three of the new, those of the old translation:

• ...

• First, the Tankard.* 1.8
• Secondly, the Black-Iac•…•….
• Thi•…•…dly the Quart-Pot rib'd, or Thorondell.

Those of the New be these.

• First, the Iugge.
• Secondly, the Beaker.
• Thirdly the double or single Can, Or Black-Pot.

You heare what the Bookes most in use a∣mongst them are: It followes now as a thing ne∣cessary to make knowne unto you, what the pro∣fessors bee, or at least what Titles they have a∣mongst them.* 1.9

He that weepes in his cups and is Maudlen drunk—	studies	Hydromancy.
He that laughes and talkes much—		Natural Phi∣losophy.
He that gives good coun∣sell—		Morality.
He that builds Castles in the Ayre—		Metaphisicks.
He that sings in his drinke-		Musicke.
Hee that disgorgeth his stomacke.—		Phisicke.
He that brags of his Tra∣vells—		Cosmography.
He that rimes extemporie, or speaks play speeches-		Po•…•…try.

• ...

• He that cryes trill-lill boyes, is a—Rhetoritian.
• He that calls his fellow Drunkard, a—Logitian.
• Hee that prooves his argument by a Pamphlet or Ballad, a—Gramarian.
• Hee that rubs off the score with his Elbow Ha•…•… or Cloake, an—Arithmetitian
• He that knocks his head against a post, then lookes up to the skie, an—Astronomer.
• He that reeles from one side of the Kennell to another, a—•…•…eomitrician.
• He that going home-ward falls into a ditch, or Kennell, a—Navigator.
• Hee that leeseth himselfe in his discourse or talke, a—Mooter.
• He that brawles and wrangles in his Cups, a—Barrister.
• Hee that loveth to drinke in hugger-mugger, a—Bencher.
• He that drinks to all commers, a—Yong Student.
• He that hath no money in his purse, but drinks on trust, a—Merchant Ven∣terer.
• He that in his Wine is nothing else but complement, a—Civilian.
• Hee that drinkes and forgets to whom: is said to study the—Art of Memory.

CHAP. XIII. Their phrases borrowed from severall Courts, with places of dignity vsurpt by them, both Civill and Martiall.

TO leave the Colledges it is need∣full now that wee inquire what is done in the Courts, and to learne what phrases and words of Art belonging to their profession they borrow from them:

• Hee that plucks his friend or ac∣quaintance,* 1.10 into a Taverne or Tipling house perforce, is call'd a—Sergeant.
• He that quarrels with his hostesse and call's her whore—Puts in his Declarations.
• He that is silent or tongue-tide in his Cups, is said to—Demur upon the Plaintiff.
• He that ingrosseth all the talke to himselfe, is call'd—Foreman of the Iury.
• He that with his loud talke deaf∣fens all the company,—Cryer of the Court.
• He that takes upon him to make the reckoning,—Pronounceth judgment.
• Hee that wants money, and ano∣ther man pays for, is—Quit by Proclamation

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• He that gives his host or hostesse a bill of his hand, is said to be-—Sav'd by his Clergy.
• Hee that is so free that hee will pledge all commers—Attourney Gen•…•…rall.
• He that weares a Night-Cap, ha∣ving been sicke of a surfet—S•…•…geant of the Coyffe.
• He that is observed to be drunke but once a weeke—An ordinary Purs•…•…ant.
• He that takes his row•…•… freely but once in a mon•…•…th, a—Sub-Sheriffe.
• He that healths it but once in a Quarter, a—Iustice of Peace.
• And hee that takes his rowse but twice a 〈◊〉〈◊〉—Iudge of a Circuit.

There be likewise belonging to this Art, or* 1.11 Science, diverse places of respect and dignity, both Civill and Martiall; Of the Civill •…•…rst;

• Hee that is unruly in his Cups, swaggers, and flings Pots and Drawers downe staires, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Glasses, and beates the Fidlers about the roome; they call by the name of—Major Do•…•….
• He that cuts down signes, bushes or 〈◊〉〈◊〉—Master Controler.
• H•…•… that can win the favour of the ho•…•…esses daughter to lie with her,—Principall Secretary.
• He that stands upon his strength and begins new healths,—Mr. of the Ceremonies.
• He that is the first to begin new frollickes,—Mr. of the Novelties.
• He that •…•…ings Cushiōs Napkins and Trenchers •…•…bout the room,—Mr. of Mis•…•…ule.
• ...

• He that wanting mony is forc'd to pawne his Cloake,—Master of the Wardrobe.
• He that calls for Rashers, pickle∣Oysters, or Anchovyes,—Clerke of the Kitchen.
• He that talkes much, and speakes non-sence, is call'd a—Procter.
• He that tells tedious and long tales,—Register.
• He that takes the tale out of a∣nother mans mouth,—Publike Notary.

The Martiall degrees follow in the next place; And their order, thus;

• He that drinkes in his bootes and Gingling-spurs, is call'd a—Collonel of a Regiment.
• He that drinkes in Silke-stock∣ings and Silke-garters—Ca•…•…tain of a foot-company.
• He that slings Pottle and Quart pots downe the stayres,—Marshall of the field.
• He that begins three healths to∣gether to go round the table,—Mr. of the Ordnance.
• He that calls first in all the com∣pany for a Looking-glasse,—Campe Master.
• He that waters the Faggotts by pissing in the Chimney,—Corporall of the field.
• He that thunders in the roome and beates the Drawers,—Drum-Major.
• He that lookes red, and colours in his drinke,—Ensigne-bearer.
• He that thrusts himselfe into cō∣pany and hangs upon others,—Gentleman of a Company.
• He that keeps company and hath but two-pence to s•…•…end,—Lansprizado.
• Hee that pockets up Gloves, Knives, or Handkerchers,—〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• ...

• He that drinkes three dayes to∣gether without resp•…•…t,—An Old-souldier.
• Hee that sweares and lies in his drinke—An Intelligencer.

CHAP. XIIII. Of their Sea-seruice: Their new termes for new Pa∣radoxes: Their Writing-Schoole, &c.

HAving past the degrees, both Civill and Martiall, It followes in the next place that we come to take view of the Sea, or rather, Seller-seruice; of which we have already made this Que•…•…e:

• He that having over drunk him∣selfe,* 1.12 and utters his stomake in his next fellowes Bootes or Shooes, they call—Admirall of the Narrow∣Seas.
• He that piss•…•…th under the Table to offend their Shooes or Stockings—Viz-Admirall.
• He that is first Flau'd in the com∣pany before the rest,—Master of a ship.
• Hee that is the second that is drunk at the Table,—Masters Mate.
• Hee that slovenly spilleth his drinke upon the Table,—Swabber.
• Hee that privately and closely stealeth his liquor,—Pyrate of the Narrow-Seas
• He that is suddenly taken with the Hitch-up,—Master-Gunner.
• ...

• Hee that is still smoaking with the Pipe at his nose,—Flute.
• Hee that belcheth either back∣ward or forward,—Trumpet•…•…r

I might run through the rest of the Offices in the ship but for tediousnesse, therefore these be∣fore-named suffice for the present. I am next to acquaint you with new tearmes for new Para∣doxes; As first, Your Drinking-Schoole must not be tearm'd a Study, a Buttery, a Taverne, a Tap-house, or a Seller; but a Library, wherein is specially to be obserued, That whosoever shall* 1.13 drinke himselfe from off his leggs, in the Libra∣ry, must be Raised, Recovered, and Conjured up with a book of the Old-translation: But he that is drowsie, and sleepes only to prevent the biting of Flees, must reade in one of the New; and in so doing, it is judg'd by the most learned of that Society, that the exercise is well performed for that present.

You have heard how they practise to study; It is requisite that you likewise know how they teach one another to write:

• He that is industrious to learne* 1.14 the Secretary-hand, calls for a Bowle or Glasse of—Six-shillings Beare.
• He that desires to write a faire Rom•…•…n-hand,—for Ch•…•…ico.
• Hee that for that time would practise the Court-hand,—C•…•…ary.
• ...

• He •…•…hat will write the Chancery hand, calls for three horns of—Bragg•…•…tt.
• He that would bee perfect in the Checker-hand, begins with a draught of the Wooll-sac•…•…—Beare, or Al•…•….
• Hee that cannot see the way out of the Library, must call for a legeble hand to reade, and that's—A cup of Sacke.

CHAP. XV. Of certaine penall Statutes enacted by Drunkards, vpon severall forfeitures committed in their healthing; with Rits that issue upon the for∣feitures, &c.

I Come now to the penall Statutes enacted for diverse forfeitures, up∣on most grave and mature delibe∣ration,* 1.15 as followeth; No man must call a Good-fellow Drunkard, for that's a name of reproach and indignity, as quite ex∣termin'd out of their learned Society: But if at any time they spy that defect one in another, they may without any forfeit or iust exceptions taken, say; He is Foxt, Hee is Flaw'd, Hee is Flusterd, Hee is Suttle, Cupshot, Cut in the Leg or Backe, Hee hath seene the French King, He hath swallowed an Haire or a Taverne-Token, Hee hath •…•…hipt the

Cat, He hath been at the Scriveners and learn'd to make Indentures, Hee hath bit his Grannam, or is bit by a Barne-Weesell, with an hundred such like adages and sentences, extracte out of the most Authentick Authors in their Liberary.

Now upon the breach of these Statutes di∣vers Writts Issue, to be s•…•…rued upon the delinquents; of which:

• The first cup, or Writ, with* 1.16 which hee is to bee serued, is—A Subpaena.
• The second granted out by the Court, is call'd—Alterum summoneas.
• The third that comes upon him for his forfeiture,—An Exigent.
• The fourth, if hee be peremtory, and stand it out,—A capias.
• The 〈◊〉〈◊〉, which by no meanes can be avoided, a—Fieri-facies.

And if the Liquor be soure, flatt, muddy, or any way distastefull, so that it giveth no content unto the company:

• There presently goeth a Writt out,—Admelius inquirendum.

There are divers other Writts for •…•…vers other causes.

• If any shall rudely presse into* 1.17 the roome without leave,—A forcible Entery.
• ...

• If hee bee admitted, hee then pleadeth—Libertate probanda.
• If one depart the Roome with∣out paying that which hee call'd for,—No exeat 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• If he begins to stagger, then two cupps more, is an—Atachment.
• But if hee chance to fall under the Table:—A binding processe.
• If hee be drowsy, and offer to sleepe in the roome, an—Habeas corpus.
• If he be dead drunke, and with∣out motion,—Capias ad Vigatum.
• If any to cease drinking, fall to whisper,—A Writ of conspiracy.
• If any shall offer to buy the stooping,—Champertaine.
• If an unruly drunkard chance to be kick't downe the stayers,—Excomunicato capiendo.
• But if he be suffered to stay with good leave,—Dedimus Potestatem.
• If any one of them shall hide his head for the reckoning,—A Latitat.
• If a drunkard sitting long in the Taverne, sha•…•…be fetch't home by his Wife, a—Quo Iure.
• If hee drinke from the morning till the Sun goe downe,—Diem clausit extremum.

CHAP. XVI. Of sundry Termes and Titles propper to their young Studients, with Customes to bee obserued, and •…•…rfits upon the breach, with divers Proverbs u∣sed amongst them, &c.

• HEE that makes him∣selfe* 1.18 a laughing-stocke to the whole company, is cal'd a—Tenant in Fee-simple.
• Hee that will be still smowching and kissing his Hostesse be∣hind the doore,—Tenant in-taile speciall.
• Hee that will be still kissing all commers in,—Tenant in-taile generall.
• Hee that is three parts foxt, and will bee kissing,—Tenant in-taile after possi∣billitie of Issue extinct.
• Hee that is permitted to take a napp, and to sleepe,—Tenant by the curtesie de Angliter.
• If two or three Women meete twice or thrice a weeke, to take Gossips Cup, they are—Tenants in dower.
• Hee that hath the disposing of a donative amongst his com∣rades,—Tenant in Frank Almaine.
• Hee whose head seemes to bee heavier then his heeles, holds in—Capite.
• Hee whose heeles are heavier then his head, holds in—Soccadge.
• All Gentlemen - Drunkards;

• Schollars, and Souldiers, hold in—Knights s•…•…ice.
• Hee that drinkes nothing but Sacke and Aquavitae, holds by—Gr•…•…d 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• Hee that drinkes onely Ale, or Beere, holds by—Petit serientry.
• He that drinks uncovered, with his head bare,—Tenders his homage.
• Hee that humbles himselfe to drinke on his knee,—Doth his fealty.
• Hee that hunteth the Tavernes, or Taphouses, when he comes first to age,—Paies his reliefe.
• Hee that hath sold and mor∣gag'd all the land he hath,—Sueth for his livery.
• Hee whose Wife goeth with him to the Taverne, or Ale∣house, is—A free-holder.
• Hee whose Wife useth to fetch him home from the Library, is a—Tennant at will.
• Hee that articles with his Ho∣•…•…esse about the reckoning, is a—Coppie-holder.
• Hee that staggering, supports himselfe by a wall or a post, holds by the—Verge.

Customes to bee observed: and forfeits upon the breach.

• First, not to drinke unto any man in the com∣pany* 1.19 if a Woman bee in presence.
• ...

• 2. Not to drinke to the Drawer, Tapster, or Buttler; Vpon paine of drinking twice.
• 3. To keepe your first man, and withall to re∣member whom you drinke unto.
• 4. To have a care to see your selfe pledg'd.
• 5. That you see the health to goe round.

Other customes there bee in some places held by Tradition, as to have Thirteene to the dozen, and call for the reckoning pot, or come againe.

Certaine learned Proverbs, and proper Phrases be∣longing to the Library.

AS to drinke Vpse-phreese, Supernacu∣lum,* 1.20 to swallow a Slap-dragon, or a raw Egge: Then to see that no lesse then three at once bee bare to a health: And of Proverbs These and the like.

Hee that drinkes red, gaines by the colour▪ A pound of care, will not pay an ounce of debt: A raw stomach makes a rumaticke head, &c.

CHAP. XVII. Divers Cases to be put in their healthing, which have 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 considered and lea•…•…edly 〈◊〉〈◊〉 amongst themsel•…•…s.

AS first; If a Clerke happen to bee dead-drunk in his owne Library, in that case, his Wi•…•…e may make him Cuckold without Impeach∣ment of waste: If shee can doe it before hee revive, and therein shee may plead custome.

Now followeth a case in the Common-Law.

IF there be two brothers, and the elder being* 1.21 seased of sixteene pence in credit▪ and shall be made dead-drunke in the Liberary, the youn∣ger may enter as the next Heire, upon the sixteen pence in demeane, and presently conuey it over in Fee to his Hostesse: but except she please, the 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 in credit shall not descend, be∣cause the elder brother died not seazed.

If three Gentlemen Ioyntly purchase three Gallons of Sacke to themselues and the remain∣der over to their seruants in fee: If the men fall

drunke before their masters, without Issue: Th•…•… remainder reverse, or escheate to the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and the suruiving purchaser (his fellowes being blowne up) goes away with the whole, which he may Alien to the next commer in non obs•…•…, the Statute of Alien•…•…ions.

If a Female Covert, offer her Petticoate or Smock to Morgage, to the Clerke of the Li-•…•…ary, and he taketh one or both up for the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 or reckoning, If her Husband come just in the Nick, the Plantiffe shall abate, and the Clerke shall be forced in despight o•…•… his Breeches to with-draw his Action, or to let it fall, and all be∣cause it was not before enter'd.

In case of Linnen, it hath beene adjudged, that if foure brothers have but one shirt amongst them, If by consent of all •…•…oure, that single shirt be condemned to the Lombard, and the purchase spent in the Library, the naked •…•…ueth of the common law in that case is; that they are compellable to weare no Linnen, but to goe wooll-ward for Pennqnce, till the next bounti∣full hedge commiserates their necessitie.

If two empty Corporalls, or Low-Countrey Souldiers lately come over, happe into a strange Library, and after the turning over the Bookes of the old Translations, they be call'd to account for their learning; If they upon some feign'd case, fall to quarrell, and the •…•…lerke bee well and throughly beaten for his labour, they may by the force of the Common-Law, depart

whilst the disputation is hot, sco•…•…-free, and shot-free.

If a Bottle of Aquavitae, or Strong-Waters, discend to three Gossips, they may as partners divide the liquor by a cup, or glasse of partition, but i•…•… the Bottle as a thing not dividable, they shall occupi•…•… in common, till two of them de∣cease, and bee buried in the Library; then the suruiving Gossip may carry away the Bottle whole (if she breake it not by the way) and that by the way of suruivership.

If a Clerke bring to any approoved Schol∣lar, A Booke of a false Translation, that is, when it should bee in Quarto, to bring him one in Octavo, or in stead of one in Duo decimo, to bring him one that is in Decimo sexto, although the student turne it over for inst•…•…ction sake, yet if he mislike the Volumne, hee may lawful∣ly breake the cover of the Booke about the Clerkes head, and justifie it by a decree, made at the •…•…rst setting up of the Library. But of these no further; I now proceede to matter of more weight and consequence.

CHAP. XVIII. Divers stories of such whom i•…•…moderate drinking hath made most ridiculous.

TO leave all forraigne, discourses, which might exemplifie unto you how Wine hath debilitated the sences, and made some men derisi∣ons and laughing stocks to the world; I will now onely present you with a few domesticke examples, either of mine owne notion, or related from others.

A Seruing-man much over taken with wine,* 1.22 when he perceived that he could beare no more, stole out of the T•…•…verne by a backe doore, and passing through a d•…•…ke and narrow Lane, late in the night when the Moone shined very bright and cleare, and at length comming to crosse Cheape-side, to goe into Friday-street, he presently began to apprehend, that the shadow wherein he stood was the Shore, and the Moone-shine a Ri∣ver (for hee directly conceited it to bee water) therefore he first call'd aloud, A Boate, a Boate, but hearing none to make him answere (for who would but imagine him to be some drunkard or madman) he next bethought himselfe, It might

be possible for him to wade over, in which con∣ceit he laid by his Cloake, pluckt off his Bootes and Stockings, and then his Breeches: when drawing up his shirt to the highest, he laid the rest of the luggage upon his shoulders, and stay∣ing himselfe upon his Sword, put one foot first softly into the Moone-shine, andfinding the Channell firme under him, hee aduentred the other; and wading further, in great feare and supposed difficulty, at last got over to the Shore, and then fell de∣voutly to his prayers, thanking those powers who had granted unto him such an happy and safe passage. The Watch sitting close, seeing and perceiving all that was done and said, let him a∣lone till he had wiped himselfe dry and put on his clothes, and then shewed themselues, and told him they were Water-men and came to rowe him backe againe to the Counter, which they would have done, had not the Constable (of milder temper (and being well pleased with the jest) stay'd them, and commanded one or two of them to see him safe at his lodging.

Another Drunkard comming homward late* 1.23 over the fields, thinking to passe a bridge, slipt into the ditch where he stood knee deepe in wa∣ter, and not able to get out, in that posture fell fast asleepe. Towards morning one passing that way heard him first muttering & grumbling to himselfe, at length, turning to one side, he said a-loud,

Thou Whore, why doest thou no more clothes upon my feet.

Before the old Exchange was built, the Mer∣chants* 1.24 kept their meeting in Lumber-Street where dwelt a plaine honest old man, call'd Fa∣ther Garret, who having plaid the Good-fellow a whole night together among his Countrey∣men (which was not usuall) and drinking a cup or two too much, it was morning before his wife and maid could get him into his warme bed, where hee slept soundly; and waking about noone (his eyes being gum'd together, so that he could not well open them) hee groped by the bed side for the Chamber-pot, and perceiving it to be full, he rose up, open'd the Casement (which was toward the street) and powred it out upon some of the Merchants heads, who after they had well shooke their Hats and their Cloakes, call'd to him by his name, and said; Why how Father Garret? what doe you meane by this? who putting his head againe out at the window, made them this answere Marry it is to teach you for walking abroad so late at midnight.

A Loader, or Miller in the Country, was such* 1.25 a notorious swaggerer, and so dangerous in his drinke, that none of the Townesmen durst keepe him company, unlesse he would first put off his great basket-hilt Dagger (which was a Swords fellow, and still wore about him) and lay it by; which at their request he upon a time had done;

The fashion was to weare great broad Belts of Leather, buckled about their wastes: They ha∣ving drunk their dozens round, and he amongst the rest 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Flusterd, the motion was made to breake up Company; when the rest rose, he sit∣ting upon the bench side, and groping for his Dagger behind, he happened upon a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 that was 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, and putting the end of his Belt through the handle of it, buckled it about him in the stead of his weapon, and so walking with∣out a Cloake through the street in the day time▪ all thd•…•… Boys and Girles ran laughing and hollow∣ing after him to looke behind him, For his Dag∣ger dropt out of the Scabberd.

It was somewhat more wittily put off by him,* 1.26 who living in a Chamber, over heard where the watch wa•…•… set beneath, emptied a Chamber-Pot upon their heads▪ who calling unto him, and asking him why he had used them so slovenly 〈◊〉〈◊〉 demanded of them, Who they were that questi∣on'd it▪ They told him they were the Watch, why then saith he, Harme Watch, harme Catch, and so shut to his Casement.

Another comming from 〈◊〉〈◊〉 at a very* 1.27 〈◊〉〈◊〉 houre over the Bridge, justled against one of the Chaine-posts ov•…•…r against Saint Magnus Church, who being naturally very quarrell some in his Cups, supposed that some night-walker had given him that affront; and therefore very

desperatly out with his dagger, and by great for∣tune strooke into the very hollow of the post; and perceiving it to give way, made no further que∣stion, but he had slaine the party: with the sud∣daine apprehension whereof, he leaves the wea∣pon in the wood, presently begins to devise of some suddaine shift to save his owne forfeit life, he dares not goe home to his house: and knowes no man whom he may trust with such a secret: Therefore he presently takes boate, downe hec goes that night to Graves-end, and from thence gets shipping into the Low-Countreys. The wea∣pon the next morning was found in the post, and knowne, and the owner thereof mist by his wife and friends: but not to be heard off. After a twelue-moneth, notice being given to his wife, where he liv'd, and by circumstances, being pos∣sest of the mistake, hee came over like an Asse as he went, and was a jeere to the Citie his whole life after.

Certaine Gentlemen using much to our Ta∣vernes,* 1.28 some of them affecting Tables: Their custome was still when they met to play at Irish or Tictack: and whatsoever the stake was, to call in Wine, because they would not charge the house, so that the standers by might drinke free∣ly of the gamesters cost, and thus somtimes they would spend the whole night: Amongst the rest, one obserued to be a sharke, that would save his purse, but could never be drawne into any game, or expences, and yet would devoure more Wine

then any two in the Company, and whil'st the rest were either busie all playing, or looking on, hee would be still tampering with the cups, till hee had stolne himselfe drunke, and then hee would fall alseepe in the roome: This being no∣ted by the rest, whil'st he was taking a sound nap in a chaire, they devised to put a tricke upon him, and watching his waking, they suddenely put out all the lights in the roome, and still pre∣tended to hold on their game: The dice run, and the Table-men walke, the standers by, bet, some on this side, some on that, every cast was named as it was throwne, all which he heard, but saw no∣thing: This Ieast was held up so long, and carri∣ed so well, that he presently apprehended, that he was strooke blinde, and quite bereft the use of his eyes, and so fell into a great passion and clamour: The Gentlemen came about him, and feined to wonder what he meant, bid him looke up, and bee of good cheere, hee told them, hee knew them by their tongues, but could not di∣scerne any one of their faces: at which they see∣med to be the more amazed, and so concluded that he was miraculously deprived of his eye∣sight, still they call'd for more lights, more lights; Another answered, there were sixe in the Roome already, and if not by them, hee could •…•…ever see at all▪ one offers to leade him, another began to shrive him, perswading him, that sure this judgement was fallen upon him for some great sinne hee had committed: Some hee re∣membered

and confest; sure saith another, he hath beene a great sparer of his Purse, a stealer of his drinke, and a dissembler with his friend, none of which hee deemes: At length, when they had got out of him what they coul'd, and Ieer'd him (as they thought) sufficiently, they suddainely caused light to be brought in, by which, finding how hee was gull'd, hee grew so ashamed, that he who was before a burthen to them, could never be seene in their company after.

I knew a Citizen, and a substantiall house∣keeper,* 1.29 who having beene drinking late, could not find his owne doore, and though he knew the streets, and the postes that stood at other mens gates, and how farre distant his house was from them, yet still •…•…e rather came short of it, or past beyond it; at length (loath to be noted, but mere loath to lie upon the stall) hee percei∣ved a light in one of his Neighbours windowes, hee rapps at the doores, the good man (being upon some occasion late up at that time) look'd out of the window, asked who was there? and what he would have? Nothing good friend an∣swered hee) but onely to intreate you to direct me where such a man dwells, (meaning him∣selfe) and shew me his house; his Neighbour knowing him, replied, calling him by his name, I hope no man knoweth that, or at least should know it better then your selfe: True it is •…•…aith hee, but not at this time; so his Neighbour per∣ceiving in what case hee was, came downe, ope∣the

doore, and light him over the way, which howsoever it was secretly carried, yet made his intemperance palpable, even after mid-night.

A Malt-man comming •…•…ling at noone day* 1.30 from a Red-lattice, wearing about his waste a leatherne Belt, buckled before, with a thong hanging downe, went to turne to the wall, and standing some yard from thence, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 his head on the one side to see who went and past by; and putting his hand downe to grope for something to shew the wall, he mist of his aime and lighting upon the thong that hung downe, held it out betwixt his fingers, and pist in his breeches; The people that saw the water drop downe by his knees, grew into a generall laugh∣ter; by which he finding the mistake, grew sen∣sible of the plight he was in, and so ashamed, stagge•…•…r'd away as fast as he could, like a drunken Coxcombe.

A drunken Sailor hauing beene foxt in the* 1.31 Towne, his ship being then in harbour, he call'd aloud for the Cock-boat to fetch him aboard, and in the meane time layd him down upon the Banck, and there fell fast asleepe▪ The Tide was then comming in (for it was young flood) and by degrees first came up and washed his feet, and then retyred; the next time it came up to his knees, and then fell backe, •…•…o to his very necke, yet all this while hee waked not; the next wave came up to his mouth, of which being somwhat sensible, he said, No more drinke I pray thee, and

the second time and the third, and still as it covered his face, when it was fallen off, assoone as he could recover himselfe, he said nothing else, but No more drinke I prothee, and had not the Boate come just at the instant, there he had been drowned, and never told who hurt him.

A company of drunkards having tost the* 1.32 Cans all the night long, even till the day breake, in the morning, one of them riseth from the ta∣ble reeling, with a purpose to pisse in the Chim∣ney, and having let something fall upon the harth, and stooping, thinking to take it up: when he raised himselfe, his head was got within the Mantle-tree (which he perceived not) but ha∣ving made an end of that which he went to doe, and being something tall of stature, he made pro•…•…er to come away, and first walked from one end of the Chimney to the other, then backe a∣gaine and felt about with his hands, but could find no way out, at which he began to blesse him∣selfe and wonder where he was, and in his devoti∣on casting up his eyes he perceived a light above (for it was then day) by which he presently ap∣prehended, that he was fallen into a well; but seeing by the distance betwixt him and it, it was so deepe that there was no possibility for him to get out without helpe, hee began to bee in de∣spaire; And as hee was musing what hee should doe, hee heard them laughing and talking in the roome, which he supposed were some above that passed by the wells mouth upon businesse; and

not willing to loose that opportunity, hee call'd out aloud, Helpe, helpe, Ladders, Ropes, helpe, helpe, I am fallen into the Well? The rest won∣dring by the hollownesse of his voyce whence the noyse should come (for the clamor ascended upward) at length by his strugling and striving perceived him to be in the Chimney, and so in the stead of pulling to draw him up, they pluckt him out by the leggs below, and these and such like are the ridiculous effects of drunkennesse, which end with that of the Poet;

Nam maximum Ebrietas Malorum est omnium. Mortalibus, quod laedat hos est maximum.

The greatest evill that on earth can be, And most hurts mankinde, is Ebrietie.

CHAP. XIX. Of some who have liued absteinious, and altogether refrained from Wine.

IAm loath to cloy the reader with too much impertinences, I will next set before you the absteni∣ousnesse of some Ethnicks of the sormer Ages; To whom, if we op∣pose the Libertines of these our times, and this

nation, it will easily appeare how farre those Morall men excell us in sobriety and tempe∣rance, and on the contrary, how much we Christi∣ans exceed them in vinocity and surfet. Philar∣chus* 1.33 relates that Theodorus Larissaeus was of such abstinence, that he alwayes withdrew himselfe from the presence of King Antigonus, when hee went to any quaffing feast. The same Author 〈◊〉〈◊〉, that the Iberians, though they were the* 1.34 richest and potent of all their neighbouring na∣tions, yet they drinke nothing but water, and eat but once a day; yet in their atyre they were gorgious and sumptuous. Aristotle and Theo∣phrastus remember a man call'd Philinus, who ne∣uer* 1.35 in his whole life time, eate, or dranke any thing save Milke. Hegesauder Delphus writes that Anchimolus and Mosschus, two Philosophers* 1.36 that read in Helis, never in their life time dranke any thing but water, and eate nothing but fruits, yet they were of strong and able bodies. Matris* 1.37 an Athenian, eate little or nothing, save the fruit of the Myrtle, he never tasted of the Grape, but water onely. Lamprus Musicus was most abste∣nious,* 1.38 commended by Pbrinicus, both for the sweetnesse of his voyce and wisedome, he never dranke but from the river or fountaine. Macho the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Poet remembers the like in one* 1.39 Moschiaedes. Aristotle in his booke de Ebrieta, speakes of divers, who notwithstanding they fed upon salt meats, yet were never thirsty, amongst whom were Archonides the Argine, and Mago the* 1.40 * 1.41

Carthaginian who past the Desarts three severall times, eating onely dry meats, and never dranke in all their travell. Antigonus Charistius reports* 1.42 of Poleman the Academick, that beginning from thirty yeeres of his age, he drunke nothing but water to the houre of his death. 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Scep∣tius witnesseth of Dioeles Peparethius, to have ta∣sted* 1.43 no other in the whole terme of his life. He∣rodatus, lib. 1. speakes of a King of Persia, who* 1.44 dranke onely of the Ri•…•…er which flowes neere unto Susas, and whithersoever he remooved, ma∣ny Waggons, drawne by Mules, and laden with siluer vessells fill'd with that Water followed him. The second King of Egypt, sirnamed Phi∣lodelphus, having contracted his daughter Bere∣nice* 1.45 unto Antiochus King of Syria; at his infinite charges provided, that the water of Nilus should be continually conueyed unto her, because hee would have her drinke onely from that River, for so reports Polibius. Heliodorus relates, that Anti∣ochus the Illustrious, used to mixe his Wine with* 1.46 a water drawne from a Fountaine in Antioch, which Theopompus, saith Midas, King of Phrigia, caused first to be made, when he thought to sur∣prize Sylenus, the drunken Priest of Bacchus: I•…•… is call'd Inna, and lies (as Byon sayth) in the mid-way betwixt the Medi and the Paerniaus: Staphinus saith, that Meampodes was the first* 1.47 that used to drinke Wine commixt with water. Demostenes the famous Oratour, protests of him∣selfe,* 1.48 that for a long space together, he dranke

Water onely, of whom Pytheus thus writes. Now behold, and cast your eyes upon Demosthe∣nes and Demudes, both pleading at the barre, the continence of the one, and the intemperance of the other: The on•…•… tasts nothing but water, the other swilles altogether Wine, Demosthenes al∣wayes sober, Demudes ever drunke; the one ad∣dicted solely to his study, the other to his belly. Euphorian Calcidensis reports of Lysirtus Lasivi∣nius,* 1.49 that hee was never knowne to bee thirsty at all, and though he seldome or never tasted any liquor: yet his urine hath beene as free to him, as to any other man: At which when many won∣dred, yet by triall they found it to be true. In∣finites I could exemplifie in this kind, but I will surfet you with nothing, for I obserue with the Physitians, that a sparing diet is better then sur∣fet: but on the contrary, concerning those spun∣ges that powre downe their throats cup after cup, and glasse after glasse, as if their thirst would never bee satisfied, or as if their stomachs were of the nature of fire, which the more it eates, the more it askes; let them listen to that of the Poet Antiphanes.

Hee that with Wine, Wine thinks to expell, One ill, would with another quell: A Trumpet, with a Trumpet drowne. Or with the Cryer of the Towne, Still a loud man: Noyse deafe with noyse▪ Or to conuert a Bawde, make choise

Of a Pander, pride with pride, shame thus, Or put a Cooke downe by Calistratus; Discord, by discord, thinke to ease, Or angry men, with scoffes appease: So Warre by Battell to restraine; And labour, mittigate, by paine: Command a suddaine peace betweene Two shrill scoulds, in their height of spleene: By drinke to quench drinke is all one, As if by strife, strife to atone.

CHAP. XX. A moderation to be obserued in drinking, borrowed from Antiquity.

EPichermus is of opinion, that all sa∣crifices which were first piously de•…•…oted to the Gods, have since, by the corruption of times, beene a∣dulterated, as meerely chang'd into ryotous Feasts, and banquets; And those which were at first sacred, made profane by voluptuous and excessive quassing, from whence ariseth wantonnesse, or furie, begetting blastings, misery, and fetters; The Poet Panga∣scs dedicates the first moderate draught to the houres, and the Graces; the second to Venus and Bacchus; the third to Injury and discommoditie, according to that of Euripides: Sunt praemium

Lascivienti verbera: To him that wantons in his cupps, stroakes are due. And Pamasis, before named, thus speakes concerning the use or abuse of Wine.

A superis homini vinum gratissima dona Conueniunt, Illi, Cantus, Choreae simul omnes, &c,

Wine was the gratefull gift of Gods, to men, To which agree songs and all dan••es, when Their straines are chast, and comely: and above, Where gifts passe free in interchange of love. Tooke modestly, all sorrowes it expells; Immoderate cups, breedes madnesse, and nought else.

The Poet Eubulus, Introduceth Bacchus the God of Wine, speaking thus:

Prudentibus viris, Ego tres misceo Crateras, unam, sanitatis gratia Primum bibant hunc, gra•••• Amoris Alterum, &c.

I Temper three cups to the wise-man: one To preserue health (if it be drunke alone) The next of love, and pleasure, both to keepe Firme and intire: A third to provoke sleepe; These may the grave and discreete men carowse, Yet each of them▪ art sober to his house: No more I doe allow, who these exceeds In a fourth draught, brauls, and contention breeds; Clamour a fift: A sixt to Lust inuites, And loose incontinence: A seventh accites Spots in the cheeke and fore-head: The eight doth make Tumult, and confused noyse, able to shake

The strong Simposium: and the ninth cup, hath Power to exclude all peace, and stirre up wrath Whats beyond these, is madnesse: if you fill Great Vessells into small, you waste and spill.

Zeno Citieus saith thus, To doe justice unto all men, is Prudence; To follow what is good, and avoid what is ill, Temperance; To endure all adversity with patience, Fortitude. The counsell then that I would give to all such as are given o∣ver to vinosity, I will borrrow from Plutarch lib. de Audiend. Poetis; It is great wisedome (saith he) for a man who is subject to anger and wrath, not to be ignorant of his imperfection, but to take heed to himselfe, that he entertaine no mo∣tive that may accite him to choller: so should the intemperate man arme himselfe against drunkennesse. And as King Agesilaus would not suffer his cheeke to be kist by a beautifull yong man, lest he should grow inamor'd of his feature; And Cyrus commanded the faire Paccthea not to come into his presence, for feare of being cap∣tivated by her beauty; so hee should avoid both wine and bad company, lest he bee tempted by the one, or taken by the other; be aduised by So∣lon, whose maxime was Nequid nimis, take not too much of any thing, the branches (saith Pla∣to) which proceeds from the root Abstinence, are Modesty, Shamefastnesse, Continence, Tempe∣rance▪ Moderation, Honesty, Parsemony and So∣briety; when the fruits of Drunkennesse, are the

trembling of the Ioynts, the stammering of the tongue, Errour, Oblivion, Babbling, Dulnesse, Baldnesse, age in Youth, imbecility of Body, de∣fect in the braine, a diseased Life, an immature death: Salust saith, Nothing can be more abject and base, then a man to live a slave to the plea∣sures of the mouth and belly. It is a true saying, Much meat, much malady; Plenty of Wine, and store of •…•…antonnesse. It fareth with men, saith Origen, as with vessells upon the water; put in the one too much loading, they sinke; power into the o∣ther too much wine, they surfet. It is a great fault, saith Seneca, For a man to bee ignorant of the measure of his owne stomack; Every man knoweth what weight his beast can beare, but not what burthen himselfe can carry; loath hee is to overlaode him, but still ready to over∣charge himselfe; But how difficult a thing it is (saith Cato) to preach Abstinence to the Belly which hath no eares; and is still importunate, that it will brooke no deniall: I will conclude this Argument of Abstinence with that of Vir∣gil, de vino & venere,

Nec veneris, nec tu Vini capiaris amore. Vno namque modo, vina, venusque nocent, &c.

Doate neither upon Women, nor on Wine, For to thy hurt they both alike incline; Venus thy strength, and Bacchus with his sweete And pleasant Grape, debilates thy feet:

Blind-Love will blabb what he in secret did, In giddy Wine ther's nothing can be hid; Seditious warres, oft Cupid hath begun, Bacchus to Armes makes men in fury run; Venus (unjust) by horrid war tost Troy, Bacchus by war the Lapyts did destroy: When thou with both, or either, art possest, Shame, Honesty, and Feare, all sly thy brest: In setters Venus keepe, Gyves Bacchus tyde, Lest by their free gifts thou beest damnisi'd Vse Wine for thirst, Venus for lawfull seed, To passe those Limits, may thy danger breed.

CHAP. XXI. Of the most horrid effects of Drunkennesse, and a Christian like admonition, to Sobriety and Temperance.

DOsitheus lib. 3. rer. sycular. writes, That Cyanippus Siracusanus sacrifi∣cing to the gods, amongst all the rest had neglected Bacchus the god of wine; for which, boing in∣raged, he sent the plague of Drunkennesse upon them, (as the greatest punishment he could in∣flict) who in the heat of his cups, meeting his daughter Cyane in a place remote and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, vici∣ated her Chastity; In which act (not knowing 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the ravisher was) she wrung a Ring from his

singer, and after gave it to the keeping of her Nurse, as hoping by that token to find out in the future who had done her that outrage: In pro∣cesse, a great plague beginning in the City, and they sending to Apollo Pytheas, to know why the gods were so incenst against them; answere was returned by the Oracle, That to remove it thence and to appease the anger of the gods, an incesti∣ous man must be sacrificed. Cyane having sound by the ring, the intent of the Oracle (which none else apprehended) and that it pointed at the fa∣ther, she tooke him by the haire of his head and beard, and dragging him to the Altar slew him there, and presently her selfe fell upon 〈◊〉〈◊〉 same sword, and so died: Though this may to some appeare fabulous, yet hath our owne countrey afforded accidents in the like nature, as prodigi∣ous and strong. One Master Coverlee, a gentle∣man of quality and good desent, in the like dis∣temper wounded his Wife and slew his owne Children; whom I am the bolder to nominate, because the facinerous act hath by authority bin licensed to be acted on the publike Stage. And very lately in Wilt-shire, A yong gentleman well borne, but riotously conditioned, ran his sword through his owne mothers body, and slew her when shee came with her grave and Matron like advice, to counsell and diswade him from ryoti∣sing and lewd company.

Nay, have not some Husbands slainc their Wives, when they have come home from swil∣ling?

and Wives cut their husbands throats, after they have beene tipling? The Father hath flung his knife at the Mother, and missing her, kill'd the Child▪ one Brother hath slaine the o∣ther in the Taverne: and one man stab'd his deare friend in the Ale-house: I neede not wander far to inquire for these fearefull accidents, when this very Citie it selfe affords such frequent ex∣amples▪ Wine (saith one) is the blood of the •…•…arth, and the shame of those who abuse it: St. Ambrose saith, the first evill of drunkennesse, is the hazard of chastity. And Saint Augustine, It is a sweete sinne, a pleasant poyson, and a be∣witching devill.

Of this cursed (I may say) most contagious sinne (for commonly, one drunkard infecteth another) heare what the wise man, King Solo∣mon saith, Proverb. 23. Keepe not company with drunkards, nor with gluttons, for the glutton, and the drunkard shall be poore, and the sleeper shall be clothed with raggs: To whom is woe? To whom is sorrow: To whom is strife: To whom is mourning? To whom is wounds without cause? And to whom is the rednesse of the eyes? Even to thee that tarryest long at the Wine, to them that seeke mixt wine; looke not then upon the Wine when it is red, and when it sheweth his colour in the cup, or goeth downe pleasantly; In the end thereof, it will bite like a serpent, and hurt like a Cockatrice: Thine eyes shall looke upon strange Women, and thine heart shall

speake lewd things, and thou shalt be as one that sleeps in the midst of the sea, and as he that sleep∣eth on the top of the Mast. They have stricken me (shalt thou say) but I was not sicke; they have beaten me, but I knew not when I awoke, there∣fore will I seeke it yet still, Saint Luke 21. 3, 4. Take heede to your selues, least at any time your hearts bee oppressed with furfets and drunkennesse, and cares of this life, least that day come on you at unawares, for as a snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.

Take therefore the Counsell of Boethius the Christian Philosopher and Poet, who speaketh thus: Then necessitie impells to a sober and up∣right life, when wee apprehend and consider, that all our actions, how private soever, are visible to him that shall judge them; Neither ought wee to delay the amending of our lives, or correcting of our manners, for as Saint Augustine saith: Dat penitenti veniam, fortasse non dabit peccanti penitentiam. i. Hee that gives pardon to the pe∣nitent sinner, will not perhaps give repentance to him that sinneth, for there is no man who drinks to day, that can presume to lift the cup to his head to morrow.

If lavish cups be not permitted to Kings and Princes, how much lesse to common men: Heare what the Wise-man saith, Proverbs 31. 4. It is not for Kings (Oh Lemuel) It is not for Kings to drinke Wine, nor for Princes strong drinke, least he drinke, and so forget the decree, and

change the judgement of all the children of Af∣fliction. To you therefore I speake (who are al∣together given over to this sinne) hated of God, and abhorred of all good men,) which St. Paul in his Epistle to the Ephesians 5. 17. And be not drunke with Wine, wherein is excesse, but bee satis∣fied with the spirit.

Let us therefore speake unto God, as if men did heare us: And live amongst men, as know∣ing that God seeth us, whose eyes peirce into the secrets of the prison, into the corners of the hearts, into the hiddennesse of time, and the con∣cealednesse of Eternitie: For not to the offen∣der, but to him that is offended, doth God grant pardon, saith Saint Augustine.

Iohannes Episcop. tells us, What doth carnall man know more, then warily to keepe his owne, and watchingly to scratch from another? Or if hee cannot compasse it, yet at least to desire it▪ But the heavenly Phisitian hath to all vices, made obvious vertues, as remedies. For as in the Art of Phisicke, they worke by contraries, ministring hot things to heale cold infirmities, and cold things to helpe hot diseases: So the Creator of the Heavens, the Earth, and vs, hath provided cordiall Medicine•…•… to cure contrary corrupt Maladies: To make sound the slothfull man, is to bee applyed Labour and Industrie: The Avaritious man, Bounty and Charity: The wrathfull man, Gentlenesse and Patience: The Proud, Humilitie and Lowlinesse: The drunken

man, Sobriety and Temperance. Let us then be swaid by Leo Pap. who tells us that wee ought all to labour (by the Almighties Grace and helpe, that he may in His owne Temple, which is our bodies, find nothing that may be offensive to the eyes of so Divine a Majestie, but let the Ta∣bernacle, and habitation of our hearts be cleane swept from all vices, and furnished with Vertues, keeping them still shut and lock't, against the Temptations of the devill, but alwayes open to receive our Redeemer.

Thus I conclude, beseeching the Almighty, that as our Nation being the most forward to commit this grievous and abominable sinne of drunkennesse, so it may be the first to expresse a true Repentance, and contrition for the same, that his heavy Iudgements, long threaten'd, and now impending, may be turned from us, which hee grant for His mercy sake, and Merits of His Sonne our blessed Saviour.

In Cratere meo, Thetis est conjuncta Lyaeo Est Dea Iuncta Deo, sed Dea major eo.

FINIS.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Drinking∣Cuppes.
• * 1.2

  Wooden∣Cuppes.
• * 1.3

  Of Leather.
• * 1.4

  Glasses.
• * 1.5

  Plate.
• * 1.6

  The effects of moderate drinkers.
• * 1.7

  The study of Severall tongues.
• * 1.8

  The bookes which the drunka•…•…ds study.
• * 1.9

  The professors of this Art.
• * 1.10

  Phrases bor∣rowed from severall courts
• * 1.11

  Places of dig∣nitie belong∣to this Ar•…•….
• * 1.12

  Of their Sea∣seruice.
• * 1.13

  Necessary ob∣s•…•…uations.
• * 1.14

  Their 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.15

  Of penall Sta∣tutes enacted upon divers forfeitures.
• * 1.16

  Of Writts that Issue upon the for•…•…itures.
• * 1.17

  Other W•…•…itts for other cau∣ses.
• * 1.18

  Termes and Titles.
• * 1.19

  Customes and forfeits.
• * 1.20

  Proverbs.
• * 1.21

  A Case in the Common-law.
• * 1.22

  A drunken Seruingman.
• * 1.23

  A trauelling Drunkard.
• * 1.24

  An old man Cup-shot.
• * 1.25

  A swaggering Miller.
• * 1.26

  A witty drunkard.
• * 1.27

  〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉.
• * 1.28

  A sleepie 〈◊〉〈◊〉
• * 1.29

  A Citizen
• * 1.30

  A 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Malt-man.
• * 1.31

  A 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Saylor.
• * 1.32

  A drunkard in a W•…•…ll.
• * 1.33

  〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉.
• * 1.34

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.35

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.36

  〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉.
• * 1.37

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.38

  〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉.
• * 1.39

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.40

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.41

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.42

  〈◊〉〈◊〉 Accad.
• * 1.43

  Diocles.
• * 1.44

  A King of Persia.
• * 1.45

  Philodelphus.
• * 1.46

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.47

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.48

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.49

  〈◊〉〈◊〉.