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How parents ought to dispose of their daughters. The miseries of enforced con∣tracts. The maner of mar∣riage amongst the Ro∣mans, the Muscovites, the ancient Britans, the Gaules, the Germans, &c.
PLato in his booke De Legib. tells us, that man∣kind is by marriage made immortall, and lasteth for ever: for by leaving chil∣dren to beget children, the father by successive genera∣••ion is made immortall: of
which immorta••itie all such are justly deprived, who a∣bandon themselves to a life single and solitary. But there ought to be a great care in the Parents in dispo∣sing of their children, the better to continue this bles∣sed perpetuitie. The Empe∣rour Aurelius informeth us, that there was a custome a∣mongst the Rhodians, or a Proverb at least, that the fathers to marry a son need to spend but one day, but in the disposing of one daugh∣ter they ought to consider with themselves ten yeers: which were it even in these times carefully observed,
and diligently imitated, might be the prevention of many inconveniences, or ra∣ther palpable mischiefes, of which we have had many wofull examples.
Some through their base avarice, not willing to allow unto their daughters suffici∣ent dowers. Others (too prodigall) have stretcht themselves beyond their a∣bility and meanes, to be the ruine of their children by pride, and of themselves by poverty. Others (ill advi∣sed, or too selfe-opinioned) by their too much dotage on the sons have cast too great a neglect upon the
daughters; by which, as they lose time, so they for∣feit duty, and many times chastity: for when they come to maturity of yeers, such as their fathers have no care to bestow, have a will to dispose of themselves; the event of which is for the most part disaster and penurie. Others will en∣force them to marry where themselves like, and not where their children love; the effects of which are commonly discontent and misery (for inequality ei∣ther in yeeres, fortunes, or affections, is the road way to spouse-breach and di∣divorce:
for where there is dis-union of hearts, there must needs be disorders in the house.
How often have forced contracts beene made to add land to land, not love to love? and to unite houses to houses, not hearts to hearts? which hath beene the occasion that men have turned monsters, and wo∣men devills. I forbeare to instance any, for in nomina∣tion of the dead I might perhaps give distast to such of the kinred who yet sur∣vive, who no question could rather with that the memo∣ry thereof were rather buri∣ed
than blazed abroad. Fur∣ther, who shall but follow the Circuit in the Coun∣trey, besides these trialls here in the City, shall sel∣dome find a generall Assises without some evidence or other giv•••• upon the like tragicall accidents. But lea∣ving these, I purpose in the next place to speake some∣thing concerning the anci∣ent ceremonies observed a∣mongst the Romans, and o∣thers, in their contracts and nuptiall ceremonies.
The Romans called them Sponsalia, à spondendo, of the vow and promise made each to other; which words
were writ downe, recorded, and sealed before witnesses, and those were called Sig∣natores. Before the cere∣mony, the Bride and Bride∣groome consulted severally either of them with a sooth∣sayer, to know what omen should be in their future marriage. Of which Iuve∣nal in his tenth Satyr ma∣keth mention:
—Veniet cum signatori∣bu•• auspex..i. The Soothsayer comes with those that signed to the contract. Aul. Gellius informes us that the young man gave unto the Virgin a
ring, which she ware upon her fourth finger on the left hand, because to that finger alone (as the best Anato∣mists tell us) proceeds a veine that hath its originall from the heart. The word nuptiae is derived from nu∣bo, which signifieth to co∣ver: and Plinie sai••h, that the woman was presented unto her husband in a yel∣low vaile, which was called Flamineum (which colour is held to be the embleme of jealousie) and with that she covered her face. And in regard of the good successe which Romulus and his souldiers had in their rape
of the Sabine Virgins, they still continued a custome, that the Bride-groome should snatch away the Bride from the lap or bo∣some of her father, mother, or the next of their alliance and kinred: and after this s••eming violence, her hus∣band was to part or divide the haire of her head with the point or top of a speare, with which some Gladiator or Fencer had before beene slaine, and that was called Hasta caelibaris. T••e mo∣rall whereof (as the Author informeth me) was, that no∣thing but such a lance or speare, or such like violence,
should after dis-joine them.
Plutarch in Roman. Quae∣stion. 87. demands why the Brides haire from the up∣per part of the forehead to the crowne was separated with such a lance or speare? Was this (saith he) a sym∣bole or embleme that the Romans first marriages were made by war and rape? Or is this admonition to the Brides, that they being mar∣ried unto a wa••like people, should therefore u••e mode∣ration both in their habit and diet? Or (as Lycurg••s commanded) that all the gates and portalls of their houses should (without
other curiosity) be only fi∣gured with the sawe and the axe, to signifie that nothing vaine or superfluous should enter in at those doores? Or doth it imply (by cir∣cumstance) that wedlocke ought not to be dis-joined but by sword and death? Or is it because the speare is consecrate to Iuno, who is also called Pronuba, that is, the Goddesse of marri∣age, all her statues being pourtrayed leaning upon a lance or javelin? and that she is called Dea quiritis? and that a speare was anci∣ently called quiris? whence Mars tooke his denomina∣tion
of Quirinus, &c.
The next day after the nuptialls was a feast held, to which all their friends and kinred were invited, and such they called Repotia: their Aruspices or Witch∣es conjectured of their fu∣ture good or evill by a Crow, because such is the consociety of those birds, that if one of the matched couple perish by accident, the other remaines widow∣ed and singular ever af∣ter.
There were then severall waies by which a Virgin became a mans lawfull wife: The first was called 〈◊〉〈◊〉, that
is, by prescription, that is, if she were contracted by her Parents or Overseers, and continued with her husband the space of three entire yeeres, without be∣ing absent from him three whole nights in a twelve moneth. The second was, Confarreatione, which im∣ports, that when being mar∣ried before a Flamine or chiefe Priest, before ten witnesses, the married cou∣ple eat together of a barlie cake, before used in the sa∣crifice, which was called a Far, and the solemnities (as Cicero pro Muraena a∣verres) were called Farra∣cea,
from barley. The third was, Coemptione, of buying and selling: for the wife bought her husband, under a seeming pretence, with a small piece of silver. Sue∣tonius speakes of a fourth, which is titled, Sortitione, which was by lot or lotte∣ry. But in the former, which is called Coemptione, where, by the ancient Roman lawes,
Nubentes mulieres tres ad virum asses ferre sole∣bant.when the women that were to bee married brought three small pieces of money
to the Bridegroome, the man was not called by his owne name, nor the woman by hers, but he Caius, and she Ca••a, in remembrance of the most excellent and vertuous Matron Caia Cae∣cilia, wife to Tarquinius Priscus. Then the new made Spouse being brought home by her friends to the very doores of her husbands house, she was to say, Ubi t•• Caius? Hic sum ego Caia: which Erasmus thus inter∣preteth, Ut tu Dominus, ita ego Domina: .i. as thou art Master, so am I Mistresse▪ and she that was thus mar∣ried might justly challenge
the title of Mater familias, or, Mother of the houshold. The Bride was lighted thi∣ther with five torches bur∣ning, which did intimate the great necessitie that married wives have of these five gods and goddesses, Iupi∣ter, Iuno, Venus, Suadela, and Diana, otherwise cal∣led Lucina.
There were no contracts held to prove successefull amongst the Romans which were not celebrated with the two elements of Fire and Water. It is in one of Plutarchs Roman questi∣ons, What is the reason (saith he) that in all nuptials
the Bride is commanded to touch Fire and Water? Is it because the Fire is an a∣ctive Element, and there∣fore representeth the man; and the water a passive, and consequently an Embleme of the woman? Or is it be∣cause the Fire illustrates, and the water purgeth: there∣fore the wife ought by all her endevours and industry to preserve her purity and chastity? Or is it because that as Fire without hu∣mour to feed loseth its fury, ••nd abateth its strength; and water without some heat groweth use-lesse and with∣out motion: so man and wo∣man,
separated and dis-joi∣ned, are of no validity and power, but by conjunction or commixtion of their se∣verall faculties, they by offi∣ces belonging unto marriage are made compleat and per∣fect? Or doth the morall extend so farre, that the one ought not to forsake the o∣ther, but to endure prosperi∣ty and adversity alike, though they be driven to that extremity that they have no other good thing left them save only Fire and Water to comfort them? According to that of Seneca the Tragedian, Amor peren∣nis Conjugis castae manet: .i.
The love of a chaste wife lasteth for ever. Or as O∣vid writ in his exile un∣to his wise in these words,
Nil opus est morte pro me, sed amore fideque, Non ex difficili fama peten∣da tibi est.Die not for me, no such thing I desire: Thy love and faith shall make thy fame aspire.
But to proceed with the Roman Ceremonies: Ser∣vius super Aeneid. obser∣veth, that when the woman was brought to the doore of the Bride-chamber, she
annointed the posts with oile, and was called uxor, quasi unxor, ab unguendo: this done, the husband took her in his armes, and lifted her over the threshold with a seeming violence, because (in modesty) she should not be thought to goe willingly without some force unto the place where she should unloose her Caestus or Vir∣gin girdle. At her comming in, all the company present called with a lowd voice, Talassio, Talassio: the rea∣son of which clamour Plu∣tarch renders us in vita P••mp. as also in his 31. Ro∣man question, to this pur∣pose:
In that great rape which the souldiers of Romulus committed upon the Sabine Virgins, one of the fairest among them being catcht up by one of the meanest soul∣diers, some of the rest, envy∣ing his good fortune, would have taken her away from him by force; which he per∣ceiving, cried out, Talassius, and that he was bearing her to Talassius, who was then a prime young Gentleman of the Army, and of great remarke amongst the Ro∣mans: by which clamour he was suffered to convey her privately unto him. Since which time they have ob∣served
in all their marriages to use the name of Talassi∣us, as in all the Grecian nup∣tialls they sing Hymen, Hy∣menaee.
Many other superstitions they have used, which might seem tedious here to relate, as their Nuptialia do∣na, .i. Their marriage gifts and tokens, the bed in which they reposed the first night being called Lectus genialis, or (as some will have it) Le∣ctus genitalis. And if at any time these were at diffe∣rence or dissention betwixt themselves, they repaired to a Temple or Chappell erected to the honour of a
certaine goddesse called Dea viriplaca, as much as to say, the goddesse pleaseman; where when they had staid a while, and offered such oblations as were by the Flamines appointed to that purpose, all their jarres as they were before debated, so they were then and there ended, and they departed thence well satisfied and re∣conciled.