A curtaine lecture as it is read by a countrey farmers wife to her good man. By a countrey gentlewoman or lady to her esquire or knight. By a souldiers wife to her captain or lievtenant. By a citizens or tradesmans wife to her husband. By a court lady to her lord. Concluding with an imitable lecture read by a queene to her soveraigne lord and king.
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Title
A curtaine lecture as it is read by a countrey farmers wife to her good man. By a countrey gentlewoman or lady to her esquire or knight. By a souldiers wife to her captain or lievtenant. By a citizens or tradesmans wife to her husband. By a court lady to her lord. Concluding with an imitable lecture read by a queene to her soveraigne lord and king.
Author
Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641.
Publication
London :: Printed by Robert Young for Iohn Aston,
1637.
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Subject terms
Marriage -- Early works to 1800.
Link to this Item
http://name.umdl.umich.edu/A03192.0001.001
Cite this Item
"A curtaine lecture as it is read by a countrey farmers wife to her good man. By a countrey gentlewoman or lady to her esquire or knight. By a souldiers wife to her captain or lievtenant. By a citizens or tradesmans wife to her husband. By a court lady to her lord. Concluding with an imitable lecture read by a queene to her soveraigne lord and king." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A03192.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed May 29, 2025.
Pages
descriptionPage 218
CHAP. X. (Book 10)
Pleasant discourse betwixt a
Noble man and a Mer∣chant.
Lectures read by
country Gentlewomen and
Ladies to their husbands.
By the souldiers wife, to
her Captaine or Leiv••e∣nant.
And of Court Ladies
to their Lords.
A Nobleman and a wor∣thy
Merchant jesting
together freely, without a∣ny
exceptions to bee taken,
saith the Nobleman to him,
I wonder at you Merchants,
who for the most part have
very beautifull and faire
wives, that dare trust them
descriptionPage 219
here at home, whil'st you
take such long voyages into
Countries so farre remote:
surely it cannot choose but
bee a great trouble to your
minds being abroad, for
feare they should violate
their conjugall tie at home:
when wee Noblemen deale
more securely; for if we take
a journey either from the
Court to the Country, or
from the Country up to the
Court, we leave our Ladies
well accommodated & guar∣ded
by Servants, Groomes,
and Pages. The Merchant
perceiving how hee plaid
upon him, said unto him
againe (by your Lordships
descriptionPage 220
favour, and without offence
be it spoken) How comes it
to be a proverb, that Noble∣mens
children are not (for
the most part) so well featu∣red
and favoured, as the sons
and daughters of Citizens?
If your Lordship will not
be offended, I can shew you
the reason. I pray thee doe,
saith the Noble man, I give
thee free leave and libertie
to speake. Then thus, saith
the Merchant, In the ab∣sence
of all such Merchants
as have houses in the City,
it being so populous, there
are choice either of young
Aldermens sons, or of such
lusty young Gallants as use
descriptionPage 221
to insidiate the chastities of
beautifull women in the
absence of their husbands;
and they having their choice,
will commonly picke out
the properest men to trans∣gresse
with; and so betwixt
them commeth a faire and
well featured issue: when
you Noblemen taking your
journeies, take all your Gen∣tlemen
along to attend you,
leaving none with your La∣dies,
but a Chamberlaine,
Cooke, or a Coachman, and
they in your absence being
glad to make use of such
course groomes, I suppose
that may be the reason why
your children are not so faire
descriptionPage 222
and well favoured as ours.
At which answer, the No∣bleman
smil'd, and taking
the retort as well as the
Merchant did the jest put
upon him at first, they par∣ted
without any further ex∣cep••ion.
But ere I come to
the Court, I must first looke
backe upon the, Country,
and see how the Gentle∣woman
there bred useth to
lecture to her Esquire or
Knight: and after how the
Souldiers wife useth to read
to her Lievtenant o•• Cap∣taine.
An Esquires wife, be∣ing
an excellent housewife,
but of a very loud tongue
descriptionPage 223
withall, used to taxe him for
being too free in his kit∣chen,
sellar and at his table;
for keeping too many in∣pertinent
servants, too ma∣ny
horses and dogs, hounds,
grey-hounds and spaniels,
hawkes, &c. which drew
him to unnecessary char∣ges.
Then laied the law to
him, what hee might save in
the yeere, which he vainely
and profusely wasted; with
divers other things to the
like purpose, with so often
iteration (as preaching still
upon one text) both at boord
and in bed, that tired with
her continuall clamours, and
withall shee often forbea∣ring
descriptionPage 224
his imbraces, unlesse
he would reforme all things
according to her minde, and
leave all his estate to her
sole management, he grew
not to love her so well as
at the first, and casting his
eie upon a pretty slut, his
Gardeners wife, hee neg∣lecting
his own, grew very
much enamored of her, but
durst not come to the house,
by reason of his wives jea∣lousie;
yet he wrought so by
one of his servants, who
dealt for him to the woman,
that shee was willing to
yeeld to any thing to doe
her Master a pleasure, so it
might bee done safely, and
descriptionPage 225
without suspition, either
from her husband or her
mistresse. It was then con∣cluded,
that they should
meet in a lodge some halfe
a mile from the Mannor
house, and to that purpose,
hee had sent his Gardener
some twenty miles out of
the towne; and the better
to conveigh her thither, he
commanded his man to pro∣vide
a large basket into
which to put the woman,
and cover it with strewing
flowers, hearbs, and sallets;
which was accordingly
done. The Master of the
house got up early to keepe
this appointment: so was
descriptionPage 226
the Mistresse to dogge her
husband, as mistrusting his
early rising: and in the way
meets this fellow with his
basket, the bottome of
which, by reason of the
weight of the woman, was
quite broken, and her legs
and feet hung downe be∣low
his knees: which shee
perceiving, call'd the fel∣low
unto her, and asked him
what hee had in his basket?
Sallets Mistresse; saith hee:
Sallets, and nothing else?
Nothing Mistresse, saith he,
but hearbs and sallets. Well
saith shee, carry them to
your Master, and tell him
from mee, this is a fish day,
descriptionPage 227
and bid him beware what
flesh hee tasteth with those
sallets. The fellow no∣thing
perceiving all this
while▪ makes way to the
lodge, and delivers his bur∣then;
the Gentlewoman fol∣lowes,
and before her Hus∣band
discovers the woman.
The cause was at first some∣what
bitterly debated be∣twixt
them; but all the
choler being vented, they
fell to a more mild attone∣ment:
in which it was con∣cluded,
He would ever after
forsake his lust, so long as
shee would forbeare her
Lecture.
A Knights wife in the
descriptionPage 228
Country was perfect in the
same doctrine, and read it as
freely as the former; and ti∣ring
him one morning with
a tale of an houre long, he
not interrupting her in one
syllable, she vexing all this
while that he made her no
answer, at length for meere
wearinesse she gave over.
Then he knockt as lowd as
he could, till one came up:
he then commanded him to
call up the servants of the
house, men-servants and
maid-servants, up into the
chamber, and that instantly:
who presently ran downe as
he was commanded; she in
the meane time wondring
descriptionPage 229
what it might meane: (I
forgot to tell you that hee
bade them to bring their
Church books with them.)
Well, all of them came up
thus accommodated, and de∣manded
what his Worships
pleasure was? Marry (saith
he) this was the cause I sent
for you, my wife hath prea∣ched
to me a very learned
Sermon, in which she bor∣rowed
somewhat of the
houre-glasse, and exceeded
her time, and it is but now
ended, and I desire it may
not goe off without a
Psalme; and therefore saith
he (and was going on) when
she interrupting him, said,
descriptionPage 230
Get you all downe about
your severall affaires, and
that I charge you instantly,
or you shall heare from me
in another kind. Which
they incontinently did:
when she, ashamed of the
••ricke he had put upon her,
desired him to use it or the
like no more, and she would
never trouble him either in
his nights sleep or his mor∣nings
rest after.
I come now to the Soul∣diers
wife. It is recorded of
a brave and noble Captaine
to have a brauling shrew to
his wife, from which turbif∣lency
he could by no gentle
meanes reclaime her; and
descriptionPage 231
therefore hee so awed her
with threats and menaces,
and now and then with a
kicke or a blow, that she
was forced to give her un∣seasonable
Lectures quite
over. Then she going often
to confession, still when she
came to her ghostly father,
in stead of her owne faults
reckoned up all that she ei∣ther
knew or could devise
of her husband. In so much
that the good man meeting
with the Captain, gave him
courteous admonitory coun∣sell,
as to leave drinking,
swearing, rioting, and the
like; by which the Captaine
might perceive that some
descriptionPage 232
or other had complained
of him. Not long after, the
woman insinuates with her
husband, that for any thing
that had ever past betwixt
them either in words or
blows, in which she was the
sole sufferer, she did heartily
forgive him, and desired the
like forgiveness from him, if
by her lowd tongue she had
any way offended him, pro∣mising
a reformation of all
her misdemeanours for ever
after; and therefore that
lasting unity might continue
betwixt them, she desired
him to goe to her ghostly
father, and heartily confesse
him of his sins, which would
descriptionPage 233
be a mean to ratifie and con∣firme
all conjugall love be∣twixt
them. The Captaine
was perswaded, and went,
and comming before the
grave Church-man, told
him he was desired to come
unto him, and now being
here (saith he) I would know
what your will is with me.
Who said, I would wish
you to consider with your
selfe, and rub up your re∣membrance,
and calling to
mind all your sins and offen∣ces,
riots and disorders, and
what else; for which (repen∣ting
of them unfeignedly)
I will give you present ab∣solution.
Nay if that be all
descriptionPage 234
(said the Captaine) that la∣bour
is sav'd already, and
needs no second iteration;
I know you are my wives
Confessour, and she hath
told unto you all my sinnes,
and more than I ever did
or thought to doe al∣ready:
and so bluntly left
him.
A brave Lievtenant a∣mongst
many other wounds
lost an eie in the wars, and af∣terward
retiring himself in∣to
his own Country, where
he had some meanes to live
on, bethought himself, after
all those tumultuous dan∣gers
past, to betake himselfe
to a peaceable and quiet
descriptionPage 235
life; and to that purpose in∣tended
to marry. A match
was presently offered him, a
Virgin (supposed) both of
good feature and competent
dower. The marriage day
came, and was past with
great joy and solemnity,
and the Bride and Bride∣groome
(according to the
custome) brought to their
bed. The curtaines were
drawne, and they left to
their rest; when he com∣ming
to doe the office of an
husband, perceived she had
bin before devirginated, and
was not a true maide; and
thrusting her from him in
great anger, said, A way thou
descriptionPage 236
strumpet, I tooke thee for a
perfect Virgin, and now I
find thee to be a woman
flaw'd and unperfect. Who
boldly answered him again▪
And is not the match equall▪
since I have accepted of the••
being maimed, and wanting
one eye? But (repli'd he)
I received my hurt from
mine enemie. And I (an∣swered
she) received th••••
which so much troubles
thee from my best friend.
I must be sparing to speak
of the Court: yet no questi∣on
even your Court Ladies
are women, and have
tongues, though they know
by their noble breeding bet∣ter
descriptionPage 237
how to governe them,
than others, who have not
had their generous educati∣on
and breeding. Amongst
the rest, I have read one
short story in an approved
Au••hor, that a Basket-maker
in the country, having with
his best care and cunning
made an end of an extraordi∣nary
Basket, which had been
bespoke, & finding it finisht
to his owne desire and fan∣cy,
(his wife then sitting by
him) he said, Now God be
thanked, I have finisht my
Basket, and I pray thee wife
say so too. But she being
ref••actory and obstinate,
held her tongue; and the
descriptionPage 238
more he intreated her, the
more adverse shee was to
him, giving him foule and
course language. Which 〈◊〉〈◊〉
not able to endure, fell upon
her with a good cudgell, and
beat her till she was forc'd
to crie out. A Noble man
comming then by acciden∣tally,
with a great traine a••
his heeles, finding her wee∣ping,
began at first to com∣miserate
the woman, and to
chide the man for striking
her: but being by him true∣ly
informed of the cause, he
commended the fellow for
justly correcting her dis••••
bedience, and told her 〈◊〉〈◊〉
had her mends in her 〈◊〉〈◊〉
descriptionPage 239
hands: so left them; and rid
home to his house. At sup∣per
he related all the cir∣cumstance
(before discour∣sed)
to his Lady, and asked
her opinion of the matter.
Who answered, The Bas∣ket-maker
vvas a Knave to
offer to beat his wife upon
so sleight an occasion. Who
replied unto her, Why Ma∣dam,
vvould you be so per∣verse
and obstinate unto me,
if I should command you
to speake these words? In∣deed
my Lord, answered
she, I would. How, saith he?
I charge you to say these
vvords before all this com∣pany,
God be thanked, I
descriptionPage 240
have finisht my Basket.
Who answered againe, My
Lord I vvill die before I
vvill doe it. At vvhich he
mightily enraged; rose
from the table, and taking a
battoone in his hand, had he
not beene held by maine
force by his noble guests
and his Gentlemen about
him, there had been as grea••
a fray betwixt them, as there
vvas vvith the Basket-ma∣ker
and the shrew his vvife.
Now what manner of Le∣cture
she read after to her
Lord I cannot relate, being
then not present to heare it.
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