Pierces supererogation or A new prayse of the old asse A preparatiue to certaine larger discourses, intituled Nashes s. fame. Gabriell Haruey.

Pierces Supererogation OR A NEW PRAYSE OF THE OLD ASSE.

A Preparatiue to certaine larger Discourses, intituled NASHES S. FAME.

I Was euer vnwilling to vndertake any enterprise, that was vnmeete for me; or to play any part, either in earnest, or in iest, that might ill-beseeme me: and ne∣uer more vnwilling then at this instant, when I must needes do it, or put some∣thing in hazard, that I would be loth to commit to the curtesie of aduenture. Not because my Confuters swordes, or my enemies daggers carry any cre∣dite with the wise; or because my Letters feare any discre∣dite with the honest; or because I cannot abide to be con∣futed, that dayly confute my selfe, and condemne euery mine owne default with rigour: but because Silence may seeme suspicious to many; Patience contemptible to some; A good minde, A bad hart to those, that value all by cou∣rage; A knowne forbearer of Libellers, A continuall bea∣rer of coales; and there is no end of abuses vpon abuses, of iniuries vpon iniuries, of contempt vpon contempt, where presumptuous Impudency, and odious Slaunder, the two errantest vagabonds in the world, may safeconduct them∣selues, and franckely passe vncontrolled. Yet were that,

either all, or the worst of all, I could still vow Silence in brawles, and would still professe Patience in wronges: (I hate brawles with my hart: and can turne-ouer A volume of wronges with a wett finger:) but some cunning men, that carry hoony in their mouthes, and gall in their hartes, not so sweete in the Premisses, as bitter in the Conclusion, can smoothly, and finely descant vpon the least aduantage, howsoeuer iniurious: and certaine pretty Experiences, by way of sensible instruction, haue taught some, that Malice was neuer such an hypocrite, as now; and the world neuer such a Scoggin, as now; & the Diuell neuer such a knaue, as now: & what a desperate dissolutenesse were it in him, that regardeth his good name, to abandon himselfe, or to relinquish the deerest thing in this life, (I know no deerer thing, then honest credite) to the fauour of Enuy, or to the discretion of Fortune? Gentlemen, he is hardly bestead for a Patrone, that relyeth on the tuition of Enuy, or repo∣seth his affiance in the protection of Fortune: and he must not take it vnkindely, to bee forsaken of other by the way, that forsaketh himselfe in the way. Euen he that loueth not to be his owne defender, much lesse his owne prayser, (do him no wrong, my Masters, though ye doe him no right) yet hateth to be his owne traytor: and hath reason to ex∣perimente some rounde conclusions, before hee offer his throte to the blade of villany, or his forhead to the brand of diffamation. And although he be the subiect of his own contempt, and the argument of his owne Satyres: (surely no man lesse doteth vpon himselfe, or more seuerely cen∣sureth his own imperfections:) yet he in some respects di∣sdayneth to be reuiled by the abiects of the world. Whose dispraise in some age were a commendation, and whose praise an inuectiue: but this is a queint world, and needeth

no Aprill showers, to furnish May-games. I protest, I haue these many yeeres, not in pride, but in iudgement, scor∣ned, to appeere in the rancke of this scribling generation: and could not haue bene hired with a great fee, to publish any Pamflet of whatsoeuer nature, in mine owne name, had I not bene intollerably prouoked, first by one rakehell, and now by an other, the two impudentest mates, that e∣uer haunted the presse: (some haue called them knaues in grose: I haue found them fooles in retayle:) but when it came to this desperate point, that I must needes either bee a base writer, or a vile Asse in printe, the lesse of the two e∣uils was to be chosen: and I compelled rather to alter my resolution for a time, then to preiudice my selfe for euer. They that list may feede at the manger with the sonnes of the Mule: it is an other Table-Philosophy, that I fansie. Howbeit amongst all the misfortunes, that euer happened vnto me, I account it my greatest affliction, that I am con∣strained to busy my penne, without ground, or substance of discourse, meete for an actiue and industrious world. Euery man hath his crosses in one accident, or other: but I know not a greeuousser persecution, then a base employ∣ment of precious time, necessarily enforced. Other cros∣ses may someway edifie: this is a plague without remedy; a torment without end; a hell without redemption. As in the course of my study, it was allwayes my reckoning; He looseth nothing, whatsoeuer he loseth, that gaineth Time: so in the taske of my writing, or other exercise, it is my ac∣count; He gayneth nothing, whatsoeuer he gayneth, that looseth Time. A good matter, deliuered in good manner, winneth some estimation with good mindes: but no man∣ner sufficient to countenance a contemptible Theame: & a rascall subiect abaseth any forme: or what hath drow∣ned

the memory of the trimmest, and daintiest trifles, that fine conceit hath deuised? Were it mine owne election, I might worthily incurre many reproofes, and iustly impute them to my simple choyce: but Necessity hath as little free-will, as Law; and compelleth like a Tyrant, where it cannot perswade, like an Oratour, or aduise like a Coun∣sellour. Any Vertue, an honourable Commonplace, and a flourishing braunch of an heauenly tree: Politique, and militar affaires, the worthiest matters of consultation, and the two Herculean pillers of noble states: the priuate liues of excellent personages in sondry courses, and the publike actions of puissant nations in sondry gouernementes, shi∣ning mirrours of notable vse for the present time, and fu∣ture ages. Were it at my appointment, to dispose freely of mine owne howers: O how willingly, and cheerefully could I spend the freshest & deerest part of my life, in such argumentes of valour? Learninge is a goodly and gallant Creature in many partes: & diuers members of that beau∣tifull body vpbraide the most-exquisite penne, and most∣curious pencill of insufficiency: no diligence too-much, where no labour inough: the fruitefullest sciences require painefullest industry, and some liuely principles would be touched to the quicke: whatsoeuer booke-case, or schole∣point is found by experience to be essentiall, and practica∣ble in the world, deserueth to be discussed with sharpe in∣uention, and sound iudgement. I could yet take pleasure, and proffite, in canuassing some Problems of naturall Phi∣losophy, of the Mathematiques, of Geography, and Hy∣drography, of other commodious experimentes, fit to ad∣uaunce many valorous actions: and I would vppon mine owne charges, trauaile into any parte of Europe, to heare some pregnant Paradoxes, and certaine singular questions

in the highest professions of Learning, in Physick, in Law, in Diuinity, effectually and thoroughly disputed pro, & contra: and would thinke my trauaile as aduauntageously bestowed to some purposes of importance, as they that haue aduenturously discouered new-found Landes, or brauely surprized Indies. What conferences, or disputa∣tions, what Parliaments, or Councels, like those, that de∣liberate vpon the best gouernement of Commonwealthes, and the best discipline of Churches; the dubble anchor of the mighty shipp, and the two great Luminaries of the world? Other extrauagant discourses, not materiall, or quarrelous contentions, not auaileable, are but wastinge of winde, or blotting of paper. What should Exercise, or studdy, burne the Sunne, or the candle in vaine? or what should I doe against my selfe, in speakinge for my selfe, if outward respectes did not inwardly gripe, and a present exigence lay violent handes vpon me? Though extremi∣ty be powerable, yet an vnwilling will is excusable. Philo∣sophers, and Lawyers can best argue the case of inuolunta∣ry actes: but what so forcible, as compulsion: or so par∣donable, as a passiue action? Blame him not, or blame him gently, that would be a little loth, to be dieted at the racke of the old Asse, or to be bitten of the young dog. He is no party in the cause, that pleadeth thus against Aristogiton. Sweet Gentlemen, imagine it to be a speech, addressed vn∣to your selues. Peraduenture the viper did neuer bite any of you; and the Gods forbid, it should euer bite you: but when you espie any such pernicious creature, you presently dispatch it: in like manner when you behold a Sycophant, and a man of a vipe∣rous nature, looke not till he hath bitten some of you, but so soone as he starteth-vp, pull him downe. And againe in an other place of the same sententious, and politique Oration: Hee

that mainetayneth a Sycophant, is by nature and kinde an enne∣my of the good: vnlesse some-body imagine, that the seede and roote of a naughty Sycophant ought to remaine in the Citty, as it were for store, or good husbandry. Demosthenes was as deepe∣ly wise, as highly eloquent: and hath many such notable sentences, as it were Caueats, or Prouisoes, against the daungerous ennemies of that flourishing Citty, and espe∣cially against Calumniatours, whose viperous sting hee could by no meanes avoide: albeit otherwise such an Ora∣tour, as could allure heartes with perswasion, or coniure mindes with astonishment. I would no other Citty loued figges: or must an other Citty of necessity loue figges, be∣cause it is growne an other Athens, a mother of eloquence, a nurse of learning, a grandame of valour, a seat of honor, and as Aristotle termed Athens, a garden of Alcinous, wherein one fruite ripeneth vpon an other, one peare vp∣pon an other, one grape vpon an other, and one figge vp∣pon an other. The Sycophant be his owne interpreter: & if he may be licensed, or permitted to bee his owne caruer too, much good may it doe him, and sweete digestion geue him ioy of his dainety figg. I must haue a little care of one, that cānot easily brucke vnreasonable sawcinesse: & would be loth to see the garden of Alcinous made the gar∣den of Greene, or Motley. It was wont to be said by way of a Prouerbe; Hee that will be made a sheepe, shall find wolues inough: but forsooth this exceeding-wise world, is a great Asse-maker: and he that will suffer himselfe to be proclaimed an Asse in printe, shall bee sure neuer to want loade and loade inough. Who so ready to call her neigh∣bour, a skold, as the rankest skold of the parish: or who so forward to accuse, to debase, to reuile, to crow-treade an other, as the arrantest fellow in a country? Let his owne

mouth be his pasport, or his owne penne his warrant: & who so leawd as his greatest aduersary, modesty: or so ho∣nest, as his deerest frend, villany: or so learned, as his lear∣nedest counsell, vanity: or so wise, as his profoundest Au∣tor, young Apuleius. What familiar spirite of the Ayre, or fire, like the glibb, & nimble witt of young Apuleius? or where is the Eloquence, that should describe the particu∣lar perfections of young Apuleius? Prudence, may bor∣row, discretion; Logique, arguments; Rhetorique, cou∣lours; Phantasy, conceites; Steele, an edge; and Gold, a luster, of young Apuleius. O the rare, and queint Inuen∣tion, ô the gallant, and gorgeous Elocution: ô the braue, and admirable amplifications: ó the artificiall, and fine ex∣tenuations: ô the liuely pourtraitures of egregious pray∣ses, and disprayses: ô the cunning, and straunge mingle∣mangles: ô the pithy iestes, and maruelous girdes of yong Apuleius: the very prodigality of Art, and Nature. What greater impossibility, then to decipher the high, and migh∣ty stile of young Apuleius, without a liberall portion of the same eleuate spirite? Happy the old father, that begat; and thrise happy the sweete Muses, that suckled, and foste∣red young Apuleius. Till Admiration hath found-out a smoother, and tricksier quill for the purpose: Desire must be content to leaue the supple and tidy constitution of his omni-sufficient Witt, vndisplayed. Onely it becommeth gentle mindes to yeeld themselues thanckefull; and to ten∣der their bounden duety to that inestimable pearle of Elo∣quence, for this precious glimze of his incomprehensible valour; one shorte Maxime, but more worth, then all the Axioms of Aristotle; or the Idees of Plato; or the Apho∣rismes of Hippocrates; or the Paragraphes of luftinian. He knoweth not to manage his penne, that was not born with

an Affe in his mouth; a foole in his throate; and a knaue in his whole body. Simple men may write against other, or pleade for themselues: but they cannot confute cuttingly, like a hackster of Queen-Hith, or bellow lustely, like the foreman of the Heard. I goe not about to discouer an Asse in an Oxes hide: hee needeth no other to pull him by the famous eares, that is so hasty to descry, and so busy to be∣stirre his wisest partes. but what a notable Asse indeede was I, that sought the winges of a mounting Pegasus, or a stying Phenix, where I found the head, & feete of a bray∣ing creature? Some promises, are desperate debtes: and many threatninges, empty cloudes; or rather armies figh∣ting in the ayre, terrible visions. Simplicity cannot dubble: and plaine dealing will not dissemble. I looked either for a fine-witted man, as quicke as quick-siluer, that with a nimble dexterity of liuely conceite, and exquisite secreta∣ryship, would out-runne mee many hundred miles in the course of his dainty deuises; a delicate minion: or some terrible bombarder of tearmes, as wilde as wildfire, that at the first flash of his fury, would leaue me thunder-stricken vpon the ground, or at the last volley of his outrage, would batter me to dust, and ashes. A redoubted aduersary. But the trimine silke-worme, I looked-for, (as it were in a pro∣per contempt of common finenesse) prooueth but a silly glow-woorme: and the dreadfull enginer of phrases, in steede of thunderboltes, shooteth nothing but dogboltes, and catboltes, and the homeliest boltes of rude folly. Such arrant confuting stuffe, as neuer print saw compiled toge∣ther, till ma•…•…ster Villany became an Autor; and Sir Nash a gentleman. Printers, take hede how ye play the Heralds: some lusty gentlemen of the maker, can no sooner bare a Goose-quill, or a Woodcockes seather in their shield, but

they are like the renowmed Lobbelinus, when hee had gotten a new coate: and take vpon them, without pitty, or mercy, like the onely Lordes of the field. If euer Esquier raued with conceit of his new Armes, it is Danters gentle∣man: that mightily despiseth, whatsoeuer hee beholdeth from the high turret of his creast, and cranckly spitteth vp∣pon the heads of some, that were not greatly acquaynted with such familiar enterteinement. His best frende, be his Iudge: and I appeale to my worst ennemy, whether he e∣uer read a more pestilent example of prostituted Impu∣dency? Were hee not a kinseman of the foresayd viper, a Dog in malice, a Calfe in witt, an Oxe in learning, and an Asse in discretion: (time shall cronicle him, as he is:) was it possible, that any mā should haue bestowed some broad, and loud tearmes, as he hath done? Who could abide it, without actuall reuenge, but hee, that enterteineth spite with a smile, maketh a pastime of Straunge Newes; tur∣neth choler into sanguine, vineger into wine, vexation in∣to sport; and hath a salue for a greater sore?

Come young Sophisters, you that affecte raylinge in your disputations, and with a clamorous howte would set the Philosophy schooles non plus: come olde cutters, you that vse to make dowty frayes in the streetes, and would hack-it terribly: come hee-and shee-scoldes, you that loue to pleade-it-out inuincibly at the barre of the dunghill, & will rather loose your liues, then the last word: come busy commotioners, you that carry a world of quarrelous wits, and mutinous tounges in your heads: come most-redow∣ted Momus, you that will sternely keepe heauen, and earth in awe: come running heads, and giddy pennes of all hu∣mours, you that daunce attendance vpon oddest fashions; and learne a perfect methode, to passe other, and to excell

your selues: such a new-deuised modell, as neuer saw Sun before, & may make the gayest mold of antiquity to blush. Old Archilochus, and Theon, were but botchers in their rayling faculty: Stesichorus, but a grose bungler: Aristar∣chus but a curious, and nice foole: Aristophanes and Lu∣cian, but merry iesters: Ibis against Ouid; Meuius against Horace; Carbilius Pictor against Virgill; Lauinius against Terence; Crateua against Euripides; Zoilus against Ho∣mer, but rancke fowters. Salust did but dally with Tully: Demades but toy with Demosthenes: Pericles but sporte with Thucy dides, and so foorth. For examples are infinite; and no exercise more auncient, then Iambiques amongst Poetes; Inuectiues amongst Oratours; Confutations a∣mongst Philosophers; Satyres amongst Carpers; Libels a∣mongst factioners; Pasquils amongst Malcontentes; and quarrells amongst all. But the Olde Age was an Infante in Witt, and a Grammer Scholler in Arte: Lucians Rhetor, neuer so brauely furnished, will be heard with an Eccho: Iulian will rattle Christendome: Arrius will shake the Church: Macchiauell will yerke the Commonwealth: Vnico Aretino will scourge Princes: and heere is a lusty ladd of the Castell, that will binde Beares, and ride golden Asses to death. Were the pith of courage lost, it might be founde in his penne: or were the marrow of conceite to seeke, where should witt looke for witt, but in his Incke∣bottle? Arte was a Dunse, till Hee was a writer: and the quickest Confuter, a drowsy dreamer, till he put a life into the dead quill, & a flye into the woodden boxe of forlome Pandora. A pointe for the Satyrist, whose conceite is not a Ruffian in folio: and a figg for the Confuter, that is not a Swashbucler with his pen. Old whimwhams haue plod∣ded-on, long enough: fresh inuention from the tapp, must

haue his friskes, & careers an other while: and what com∣parable to this spowte of yarking eloquence? Giue me the fellow, that is as Peerelesse, as Pennylesse; and can oppose all the Libraries in Poules Churchyard, with one wonder∣full work of Supererogation; such an vnmatcheable peece of Learning, as no bookes can counteruaile, but his owne; the onely recordes of the singularities of this age. Did I speake at a venture, I might deceiue, and be deceiued: but where Experience is a witnesse, and iudgement the Iudge, I hope the errour will not be vnreasonably great.

There was a time, when I floted in a sea of encountring waues; and deuoured many famous confutations, with an eager, and insatiable appetite: especially Aristotle against Plato, and the old Philosophers: diuers excellent Plato∣nistes, indued with rare, & diuine wittes, (of whome else∣where at large,) Iustinus Martyr, Philoponus, Valla, Vi∣ues, Ramus, against Aristotle: oh but the great maister of the schooles, and high Chauncellour of Vniuersities, could not want pregnant defence: Perionius, Gallandius, Car∣pentarius, Sceggius, Lieblerus against Ramus: what? hath the royall Professour of Eloquence, and Philosophy, no fauourites? Talaeus, Ossatus, Freigius, Minos, Rodingus, Scribonius, for Ramus against them; and so foorth, in that hott contradictory course of Logique, and Philosophy. But alas silly men, simple Aristotle, more simple Ramus, most simple the rest, either ye neuer knew, what a sharpe∣edged, & cutting Consutation meant: or the date of your stale oppositions is expired; and a new-found land of con∣futing commodities discouered, by this braue Columbus of tearmes, and this onely marchant venturer of quarrels; that detecteth new Indies of Inuention, & hath the winds of Aeolus at commaundement. Happy, you flourishinge

youthes, that follow his incomparable learned steps: and vnhappy we old Dunses, that wanted such a worthy Pre∣sident of all nimble and liuely dexterities. What should I appeale infinite other to their perpetuall shame: or sum∣mon such, and such to their foule disgrace? Erasmus in Latine, and Sir Thomas More in English, were supposed fine, and pleasant Confuters in their time, and were accor∣dingly embraced of the forwardest and trimmest wittes: but alacke how vnlike this dainty minion? Agrippa was reputed a gyant in confutation; a demi-god in omnisuffi∣ciency of knowledge; a diuell in the practise of horrible Artes: oh, but Agrippa was an vrcheon, Copernicus a shrimpe, Cardan a puppy, Scaliger a baby, Paracelsus a scab, Erastus a patch, Sigonius a toy, Cuiacius a bable to this Termagant; that fighteth not with simple wordes, but with dubble swordes: not with the trickling water of He∣licon, but with piercing Aqua fortis: not with the sorry powder of Experience, but with terrible gunpowder: not with the small shott of contention, but with the maine or∣dinaunce of fury. For breuity I ouerskip many notable men, and valorous Confuters in their seuerall vaines: had not affection otherwhiles swinged their reason, where rea∣son should haue swayed their affection. But Partiality, was euer the busiest Actour; and Passion, the whottest Confu∣ter: whatsoeuer plausible cause otherwise pretended: and hee is rather to bee esteemed an Angell, then a man, or a man of Heauen, not of Earth, that tendereth integrity in his hart; equity in his tounge; and reason in his penne. Flesh, and bloud are fraile Creatures, and partiall discour∣sers: but he approacheth neerest vnto God, & yeeldeth sweetest fruite of a diuine disposition, that is not transpor∣ted with wrath, or any blinde passion, but guided with

cleere, and pure Reason, the soueraigne principle of sound proceeding. It is not the Affirmatiue, or Negatiue of the writer, but the trueth of the matter written, that carryeth meat in the mouth, and victory in the hande. There is nothing so exceeding foolish, but hath beene defended by some wise man: nor any thinge so passinge wise, but hath bene confuted by some foole. Mans will, no safe rule, as Aristotle sayth: good Homer sometime sleepeth: S. Au∣gustine was not ashamed of his retractations: S. Barnard saw not all thinges: and the best chart may eftsoones ouer∣throw. He that taketh a Confutation in hand, must bringe the standard of Iudgement with him; & make Wisedome the moderatour of Wit. But I might aswell haue ouerpas∣sed the censure, as the persons: & I haue to do with a par∣ty, that valueth both alike, and can phansy no Autor, but his owne phansy. It is neyther reason, nor rime, nor witt, nor arte, nor any imitation, that hee regardeth: hee hath builded towers of Superarrogation in his owne head, and they must stand, whosoeuer fall. Howbeit I cannot ouer∣slipp some without manifest iniury, that deserue to haue their names enrolled in the first rancke of valiant Confu∣ters: worthy men, but subiect to imperfections, to errour, to mutuall reproofe; some more, some lesse, as the manner is. Harding, and Iewell, were our Eschines, and Demo∣sthenes: and scarsely any language in the Christian world, hath affoorded a payre of aduersaries, equiualent to Har∣ding, and Iewell; two thundring and lightning Oratours in diuinity: but now at last infinitely ouermatched by this hideous thunderbolt in humanity, that hath the onely right tearmes inuectiue, and triumpheth ouer all the spi∣rites of Contradiction. You that haue read Luther against the Pope: Sadolet, Longolius, Omphalius, Osorius, a∣gainst

Luther: Caluin against Sadolet: Melanchthon a∣gainst Longolius: Sturmius against Omphalius: Haddon against Osorius: Baldwin againste Caluin: Beza againste Baldwin: Erastus against Beza: Trauers against Erastus: Sutcliff against Trauers: and so foorth: (for there is no ende of endlesse controuersies: nor Bellarmine shall euer satisfye the Protestantes: nor Whittaker contente the Pa∣pistes: nor Bancroft appease the Precisians: nor any reason pacify affection: nor any authority resolue obstinacy:) you that haue most diligently read these, and these, and sundry other, reputed excellente in their kindes, cast them all away, and read him alone: that can schoole them all in their tearmes inuectiue, and teacheth a new-found Arte of confuting, his all-onely Arte. Martin himselfe but a mea∣cocke: and Papp-hatchet himselfe but a milkesop to him: that inditeth with a penne of fury, and the incke of ven∣geance; and hath cart-loades of papershot, and chainshot at commaundement. Tush, no man can blason his Armes, but himselfe. Behold the mighty Champion, the dubble sword-bearer, the redowtable fighter with both handes, that hath robbed William Conquerour of his surname, and in the very first page of his Straunge Newes, choppeth-off the head of foure Letters at a blow. Hee it is, that hath it rightly in him indeede; and can roundly doe the feate, with a witnesse. Why, man, he is worth a thousand of these pidlinge and driblinge Confuters, that sitt all day buzzing vpon a blunt point, or two: and with much adoe drisle-out as many sentences in a weeke, as he will powre∣downe in an howre. It is not long, since the goodlyest graces of the most-noble Commonwealthes vpon Earth, Eloquence in speech, and Ciuility in manners, arriued in these remote parts of the world: it was a happy reuolution

of the heauens, and worthy to be chronicled in an English Liuy, when Tiberis flowed into the Thames; Athens re∣moued to London; pure Italy, and fine Greece planted themselues in rich England; Apollo with his delicate troupe of Muses, forsooke his old mountaines, and riuers; and frequented a new Parnassus, and an other Helicon, nothinge inferiour to the olde, when they were most-so∣lemnely haunted of diuine wittes, that taught Rhetorique to speake with applause, and Poetry to sing with admira∣tion. But euen since that flourishing transplantation of the daintiest, and sweetest lerning, that humanitie euer tasted; Arte did but springe in such, as Sir Iohn Cheeke, and M. Ascham: & witt budd in such, as Sir Phillip Sidney, & M. Spencer; which were but the violetes of March, or the Primeroses of May: till the one begane to sprowte in M. Robart Greene, as in a sweating Impe of the euer-greene Laurell; the other to blossome in M. Pierce Pennilesse, as in the riche garden of pore Adonis: both to growe to perfection, in M. Thomas Nashe; whose prime is a har∣uest, whose Arte a misterie, whose witt a miracle, whose stile the onely life of the presse, and the very hart-blood of the Grape. There was a kind of smooth, and clenly, and neate, and fine elegancy before: (proper men, handsome giftes:) but alacke, nothinge liuelie, and mightie, like the braue vino de monte, till his frisking penne began to playe the Sprite of the buttry, and to teach his mother-tongue such lusty gambolds, as may make the gallantest French, Italian, or Spanish gagliards to blushe, for extreame shame of their ideot simplicitie. The difference of wittes is ex∣ceeding straung, and almost incredible. Good lord, how may one man passe a thousand, and a thousande not com∣pare with one? Arte may giue out precepts, and directo∣ryes

in communi forma: but it is superexcellent witt, that is the mother pearle of precious Inuention; and the goul∣den mine of gorgeous Elocution. Na, it is a certaine preg∣nant, and liuely thing without name, but a queint mistery of mounting conceit, as it were a knacke of dexterity, or the nippitaty of the nappiest grape, that infinitly surpasseth all the Inuention, and Elocution in the world; and will bunge Demosthenes owne mouth with new-fangled fi∣gures of the right stampe, maugre all the thundering, and lightninge Periodes of his eloquentest orations, forlorne creatures. I haue had some prettie triall of the finest Tus∣canisme in graine; and haue curiously obserued the cun∣ningest experiments, and brauest complements of aspiring emulation: but must geeue the bell of singularity, to the humorous witt; and the garland of victory, to the domi∣niering Eloquence. I come not yet to the Praise of the olde Asse: it is young Apuleius, that feedeth vpon this glory: and hauing enclosed these rancke commons, to the proper vse of himselfe, & the capricious flocke; adopteth whom he listeth, without exception: as Alexander the great, had a huge intention, to haue all men his subiectes, and all his subiectes called Alexanders. It was strange newes for some, to be so assesied: and a worke of Supererogation for him, so bountifully to voutchsafe his golden name: the appro∣priate cognisance of his noble stile. God-night poore Rhe∣torique of sorry bookes: adieu good old Humanity: gen∣tle Artes, and Liberall Sciences content your selues: Fare∣well my deere moothers, sometime floorishing Vniuersi∣ties: some that haue long continued your sonnes in Na∣ture; your apprentises in Arte; your seruauntes in Exer∣cise; your louers in affection; and your vassalles in duety: must either take their leaues of their sweetest freendes; or

become the slaues of that dominiering eloquence, that knoweth no Art but the cutting Arte; nor acknowledgeth any schoole, but the Curtisan schoole. The rest is pure na∣turall, or wondrous supernaturall. Would it were not an infectious bane, or an incroching pocke. Let me not bee mistaken by sinister construction, that wreasteth and wrig∣leth euery sillable to the worst. I haue no reference to my selfe; but to my superiours by incomparable degrees. To be a Ciceronian, is a flowting stocke: poore Homer, a wo∣full wight, may put his finger in a hole, or in his blind eye: the excellentest histories, and woorthiest Chronicles, (in∣estimable monumentes of wisdome, and valour,) what but stale Antickes? the flowers, and fruites of delicate hu∣manity, that were wont to be dainetily and tenderly con∣serued, now preserued with dust, as it were with sugar, and with hoare, as it were with hoony. That frisking wine, & that liuely knacke in the right capricious veine, the onely booke, that holdeth-out with a countenance; and will be heard, when woorme-toungued Oratours, dust-footed Poets, and weatherwise historians shall not bee allowed a woord to cast at a dogg. There is a fatall Period of what∣soeuer wee terme flourishinge: the worlde runneth on wheeles: and there must be a vent for all thinges. The Ci∣ceronian may sleepe, til the Scogginist hath plaid his part: One sure Conny-catcher, woorth twenty Philosophers: A phantasticall rimester, more vendible, then the notablest Mathematician: no profession, to the faculty of rayling: all harsh, or obscure, that tickleth not idle phantasies with wanton dalliance, or ruffianly iestes: Robin Good-fellow the meetest Autor for Robin Hoodes Library: the lesse of Cambridge, or Oxforde, the fitter to compile woorkes of Supererogation: and wee that were simply trayned after

the Athenian, and Romane guise, must bee contente to make roome for roisters, that know their place, and will take it. Titles, and tearmes are but woordes of course: the right fellow, that beareth a braine, can knocke twenty ti∣tles on the head, at a stroke; and with a iugling shift of that same inuincible knacke, defende himselfe manfully at the Paper-barre. Though I be not greatly employed, yet my leisure will scarsely serue, to moralize Fables of Beares, Apes, and Foxes: (some men can giue a shrewd gesse at a courtly allegory:) but where Lordes in expresse tearmes are magnifically contemned, Doctours in the same stile may be courageously confuted. Liberty of Tounge, and Pen, is no Bondman: nippitaty will not be tied to a post: there is a cap of mainetenaunce, called Impudency: and what say to him, that in a superabundaunce of that same odd capricious humour, findeth no such want in England, as of an Aretine, that might stripp these golden Asses out-of their gay trappinges, and after he had ridden them to death with ray∣ling, leaue them on the dunghill for carrion? A frolicke mind, and a braue spirite to bee employed with his stripping in∣strument, in supply of that onely want of a diuine Aretine, the great rider of golden Asses. Were his penne as supere∣rogatory a woorkeman, as his harte; or his lines such tran∣scendentes, as his thoughtes: Lord, what an egregious A∣retine should we shortly haue: how excessiuely exceeding Aretine himselfe; that bestowed the surmountingest am∣plifications at his pleasure, and was a meere Hyperbole in∣carnate? Time may worke an accomplishment of woon∣ders: and his graund intentions seeme to prognosticate no lesse, then the vttermost possibilities of capacity, or fury extended: would God, or could the Diuell, giue him that vnmeasurable allowance of witt, and Arte, that he ex∣treamely

affecteth, and infinitely wanteth, there were no encounter, but of admiration, and honour. But it may ve∣ry-well beseeme me to conceale defectes: and I were best to let him runne out his iolly race, and to attende hys plea∣sure at all assayes, for feare hee degrade mee, or call mee a Letter-monger. Oh, would that were the worst. Gallant Gentlemen, did you euer see the blades of two brandished swordes in the handes of a Fury? See them now: and Lo how the victorious Duellist stretcheth-out the armes of his Prowesse, to runne vppon those poore Letters with a maine carreere. Aut nunc, aut n•…•…nquam: now the deadly stroke must be stricken: now, now he will surely lay about him, like a lusty throssher, and beate all to powder, that commeth in the mighty swinge of his dubble flayle. But I know not what astonishing terror may bedimm my sight: and peraduenture the one of those vnlawfull weapons is no sword, but a shaken firebrand in the hand of Alecto. All the worse: and he twice wo-begon poore soule, that is at once assaulted with Fier, and Iron, the twoo vnmercifull instrumentes of Mars enraged. God shield quiet men from the handes of such cruell Confuters: whose argumentes are swoordes; whose sentences, murthering bullets; whose phrases, crosbarres; whose tearmes no lesse, then serpen∣tine powder; whose very breath, the fier of the match: all exceedingly fearefull, saue his footinge, which may haply giue him the slipp. Hee that standeth vppon a wheele, let him beware he fall not. I haue heard of some feate Strata∣gems, as sly, as the slyest in Frontine, or Polyen: & could tell you a pretty Tale of a slippery grounde, that woulde make some bodies eares glow: but hee that reuealeth the secrete of his owne aduauntage, may haue scope enough to beshrew himselfe. The Aegyptian Mercury would pro∣uide

to plant his foote vpon a square; and his Image in A∣thens was quadrangular, whatsoeuer was the figure of his hatt: and although he were sometime a Ball of Fortune, (who can assure himselfe of Fortune?) yet was he neuer a wheele of folly, or an ecle of Ely. The glibbest tunge must consult with his witt; & the roundest head with his feete: or peraduenture hee will not greatly thanke his tickle de∣uise. The Wheelewright may bee as honest a man, as the Cutler: the Drawer, as the Cutter: the Deuiser, as the Printer: the worst of the six, as the Autor: but some tooles are false Prophets; and some shoppes fuller of sophistry, then Aristotles Elenches: and if neuer any witty deuiser did suttelly vndermine himselfe, good enough. I can tell you, the Wheele was an auncient Hieroglyphique of the most-conning Aegyptians; & figured none of their highest mysteries of triumph, or glory. But when againe I lift-vp mine eyes, and behold the glorious picture of that most∣threatning Slassher: is it possible, so couragious a Confu∣ter, should bee lesse terrible, then the Basiliske of Orus A∣pollo, that with his onely hissing, killed the poore snakes, his neighbours? can any Letters liue, that hee will slay? Were not Patience, or Submission, or any course better, then farther discourse? what fonder businesse, then to tro∣ble the Printe with Pamphlets, that cannot possibly liue, whiles the Basiliske hisseth death? Was I woont to iest at Eldertons ballatinge; Gascoignes sonnettinge; Greenes pamphletting; Martins libelling; Hollinsheads engrosing; some-bodies abridging; and whatchicaltes translating: & shall I now become a scribling Creature with fragmentes of shame, that might long sithence haue beene a fresh wri∣ter with discourses of applause? The very whole matter, what but a thinge of nothinge? the Methode, what but a

hotchpott for a gallymafry? by the one, or other, what hope of publike vse, or priuate credite? Socrates minde could as lightly digest poison, as Mithridates boddy: and how easely haue the greatest stomackes of all ages, or ra∣ther the valiantest courages of the worlde, concocted the harshest, and rankest iniuries? Politique Philip victorious Alexander, inuincible Scipio, triumphant Caesar, happy Augustus, magnificent Titus, and the flower of the no∣blest mindes, that Immortality honoureth, with a sweete facility gaue many bitter reprehensions the slip, and finely ridd their handes of roughest obloquies. Philosophy pro∣fesseth more: and the Philosopher of Emperours, or rather the Emperour of Philosophers, Marcus Antoninus, when hee deserued best, could with a felicity heare the woorst. Cherrish an inward contentment in thy selfe, my minde: and outwarde occurrences, whome they will not make, shall not marre. It is as great a prayse, to be discommended of the dishonest, as to be commended of the vertuous: say, affirme, confirme, approoue, iustify what you can, the Captaine-scolde hath vowed the last word: none so bolde to aduenture any thinge, as he that hath no good thinge to loose: let him forge, or coyne, who will belce•…•…e him? Lay-open his vanity, or foolery, who knoweth it not? yet who so eager to defende, or offende, with tooth, or nayle, by hooke or crooke? The Arte of figges, hadd euer a dap∣per witt, a deft conceite, a slicke forhead, a smugg counte∣naunce; a stinginge tongue; a nippinge hande; a bytinge penne; and a bottomlesse pitt of Inuention, stoared with neuer-fayling shiftes of counterfeite cranckes: and my betters by many degrees, haue bene faine to bee the God∣sonnes of young Apuleius. Diuers excellente men haue praysed the olde Asse: giue the young Asse leaue to praise

himselfe, and to practise his minion Rhetorique vppon o∣ther. There is no dealinge, where there is no healinge. To striue with dirt, is filthy: to play with edged tooles, daun∣gerous: to trie masteries with a desperate aduersary, ha∣zardous: to encounter Demosthenes Viper, or Apolloes Basiliske, deadly. To intende your owne intentions with an inuiolable constancy, and to leuell continually at your owne determined scope, without respecte of extrauagant endes, or cumbersome interruptions: the best course of proceeding, and onely firme, cheerefull, gallant, and hap∣py resolution. Euery by-way, that strayeth or gaddeth from that direct Path, a wandring errour: and a perillous, or threatninge by-way, a forrest of wilde beastes. Hande, touch not the ranckeling byle, and throw-away the laun∣cing instrument.

I could conceiue no lesse, then thus, and thus, when I beganne first to surview that brauing Emprese: and euer me thought, Aut nunc, aut nunquam, seemed to progno∣sticate greate tempestes at hande, and euen such valorous workes of Supererogation, as woulde make an employed man of Florence, or Venice, to breake day with any other important businesse of state, or traffique. I went on, & on, still, and still loking for those presaged woondermentes: & thought it Platoes great yeare, till I hadd runne-thorough the armed pikes, and felte the whole dinte of the two ven∣geable vnlawfull weapons. But I beleeue, neuer poore man found his Imagination so hugely mocked, as this cō∣futing Iugler coosened my expectation without measure: as if his whole drift had bene nothinge else, but a pleasura∣ble Comedy, or a mad Stratagem, (like those of Bacchus, and Pan) queintlye deuised to defeate the opinion of his •…•…edulous reader, and to surprise simple minds with a most

vnlikely euent. A fine peece of conu•…•…lance in some page∣antes: and a braue deseigne in fi•…•…t place. Arte knoweth the pageants: and pollicy the place. In ernest, I expected ne∣ther an Oratour of the stewes: nor a Poet of Bedlam: nor a knight of the alehowse: nor a qu•…•…an of the Cuckingstole: nor a broker of baggage stuffe: nor a pedler of straunge newes: nor anye base trumperye, or meane matters, when Pierce should racke his witt, and Penniles stretch-out his courage, to the vttermost extent of his possibility. But with out more circumlocution, pryde hath a fall: and as of A Catt, so of Pierce himselfe, howsoeuer inspired, or enra∣ged, you can haue but his skinne, puffed vp with winde, and bumbasted with vanitye. Euen when he stryueth for life, to shewe himselfe brauest in the flaunt-aflaunt of his courage; and when a man would verily beleeue he should nowe behold the stately personage of heroicall Eloquence face to face; or see such an vnseene Frame of the miracles of Arte, as might amaze the heauenly eye of Astronomy: holla sir, the sweete Spheres are not too-prodigall of their soueraine influences. Pardon mee S. Fame. What the first pang of his diuine Furie, but notable Vanitie: what the seconde fitte, but woorthy vanitye: what the thirde career, but egregious vanity? what the glory of his ruffian Rhetorique, and curtisan Philosophy, but excellent villa∣ny? That, that is Pierces Supererogation: and were Pen∣niles a person of any reckoning, as he is a man of notorious fame, that, that perhaps, in regarde of the outragious sin∣gularity, might be supposed a Tragicall, or Heroicall villa∣ny, if euer any villany were so intituled. The present con∣sideration of which singularity, occasioneth me to be∣thinke me of One, that this other day very soberlie com∣mended some extraordinary giftes in Nashe: and when

he had grauesie maintayned, that in the resolution of his conscience, he was such a fellowe, as some wayes had few fellowes; at last concluded somewhat more roundly.

Well, my maisters, you may talke your pleasures of Tom Nash; who yet sleepeth secure, not without preiudice to some, that might be more ielous of their name: but assure your selues, if M. Pen∣•…•…iles had not bene deepely plunged in a profound exstasic of kna∣•…•…ery, M. Pierce had neuer written that famous worke of Super∣•…•…rogation, that now stayneth all the bookes in Paules-churchyard, and setteth both the vniuersites to schoole. Till I see your finest humanitie bestow such a liber all exhibition of conceit, and cou∣rage, vpon your neatest wittes; pardon me though I prefer one smart Pamster of knauery, before ten blundring volumes of the nine Muses. Dreaming, and smoke amount alike: Life is a ga∣ming, aiugling, a scoulding, a lawing, a skirmishing, a warre; a Comedie, a Tragedy: the sturring witt, a quintessence of quick∣siluer; and there is noe deade fleshe in affection, or courage. You may discourse of Hermes ascending spirit; of Orpheus enchāting harpe; of Homers diuine furie; of Tyrtaeus enraging trumpet; of Pericles bounsinge thunderclaps; of Platos enthusiasticall rauish∣ment; and I wott not what maruelous egges in mooneshine: but a flye for all your flying Speculations, when one good fellow with his oddiestes, or one madd knaue with his awke hibber-gibber, is able to putt downe twentye of your smuggest artificiall men, that simper it so nicely, and coylie in their curious pointes. Try, whē you meane to be disgraced: & neuer giue me credit, if Sanguine witt putt not Melancholy Arte to bedd. I had almost said, all the figures of Rhetorique must abate me an ace of Pierces Superero∣gation,: and Penniles hath a certayne nimble and climbinge reach of Inuention, as good as a long pole, and a hooke, that ne∣uer fayleth at a pinch. It were vnnaturall, as the sweete Empe∣rour, Marcus Antoninus said, that the fig-tree should euer want

iuice. You that purpose with great sum•…•…es of •…•…uddy, & candles to purchase the worshipfull names of Dunses, & Dodipoles, may closely sitt, or sokingly ly at your bookes: but you that intende to be fine companionable gentlemen, smirkinge wittes, and whip∣sters in the world, betake yee timely to the liuely practis of the mi∣nion profession, and enure your Mercuriall fingers to frame sem∣blable workes of Supererogation. Certes other rules are fopperies: and they that will seeke out the Archmistery of the busiest Moder∣nistes, shall find it nether more, nor lesse, then a certayne pragma∣ticall secret, called Villany, the verie science of sciences, and the Familiar Spirit of Pierces Supererogation. Coosen not your selues with the gay-nothings of children, & schollers: no priuiti•…•… of learning, or inspiration of witt, or reuelation of misteryes, or Arte Notory, counteruayleable with Pierces Supererogation: which hauing none of them, hath them all, and can make them all Asses at his pleasure. The Book-woorme was neuer but a pick∣goose: it is the Multiplying spirit, not of the Alchimist, but of the villanist, that knocketh the naile one the head, and spurreth cutt farther in a day, then the quickest Artist in a weeke. Whiles other are reading, wryting, conferring, arguing, discoursing, experimē∣ting, platforminge, musing, buzzing, or I know not what: that is the spirrit, that with a woondrous dexterity shapeth exquisite workes, and atchicueth puissant exploites of Supererogation. O my good frends, as ye loue the sweete world, or tender your deare selues, be not vnmindfull what is good for the a•…•…auncemente of your commendable partes. All is nothing without advancement. Though my experiēce be a Cipher in these causes, yet hauing stu∣diously perused the newe Arte-notory, that is the foresaid Supere∣rogation; and hauing shaken so manie learned asses by the eares; as it were by the hands; I could say no lesse, and might think more.

Something else was vttered the same time by the same Gentleman, aswell concerning the present state of France,

which he termed the most vnchristian kingdome of the most christian kinge; as touching certaine other newes of I wott not what dependence: but my minde was running on my halfpeny, and my head so full of the foresaid round discourse, that my hand was neuer quyet, vntill I had alte∣red the tytle of this Pamphlet, and newlie christened it Pierces Supererogation: aswell in remembrance of the saide discourse, as in honour of the appropriate vertues of Pierce himselfe; who aboue all the writers that euer I knew, shall go for my money, where the currantest forgery, impuden∣cy, arrogancy, phantasticalitie, vanity; and great store of little dicretion may go for payment; and the filthiest cor∣ruption of abhominable villany passe vnlaunced. His o∣ther miraculous perfections are still in abeyance: and his monstrous excellencyes in the predicament of Chimera. The birde of Arabia is longe in hatchinge: and mightye workes of Supererogation are not plotted, & accomplish∣ed attonce. It is pittie so hyperbolicall a conceite, ouer∣hawty for the surmounting rage of Tasso in his furious a∣ngoy, should be humbled with so diminitiue a witt; base enough for Elderton, and the riffe-raffe of the scribling ras∣cality. I haue heard of many disparagementes in felow∣ship: but neuer sawe so great Impudency married to so lit∣tle witt; or so huge presumption allyed to so petty perfor∣mance. I must not paint, though hee dawbe. Pontan de∣cipher thy vauntinge Alopantius Ausimarchides a new: and Terence display thy boastinge Thraso a new: and Plautus addresse thy vain-glorious Pyrgopolinices anew: heere is a bratt of Arrogancy, a gosling of the Printing∣house, that can teach your braggardes to play their partes in the Printe of woonder, & to exploit redowtable workes of Supererogation; such as neuer were atchieued in Latin,

or Greeke. Which deferue to bee looked for with such a longing expectation, as the Iewes looke for their kingly Messias: or as I looke for Agrippas dreadfull Pyromachy: for Cardans multiplied matter, that shall delude the force of the Canon: for Acontius perfect Arte of fortifieng little townes against the greatest Battery: for the Iliades of all Courtly Stratagems, that Antony Riccobonus magnifi∣cally promiseth: for his vniuersall Repertory of all Histo∣ries, contayning the memorable actes of all ages, all places, and all persons: for the new Calepine of all learned, and vulgar languages, written, or spoken, whereof a loud ru∣mour was lately published at Basill: for a generall Pan∣dectes of the Lawes, and statutes of all nations, and com∣monwealthes in the worlde, largely promised by Doctor Peter Gregorius, but compendiously perfourmed in his Syntagma Iuris vniuersi: for sundry such famous volumes of hugy miracles in the cloudes. Do not such Arch-woon∣dermentes of supernaturall furniture, deserue arch-expe∣ctation? What should the Sonnes of Arte, dreame of the Philosophers Stone, that like Midas, turneth into golde, whatsoeuer it toucheth: or of the soueraine, and diuine Quintessence, that like Esculapius restoreth health to sick∣nesse; like Medea, youth to Olde-age; like Apollor•…•…us, life to Death? No Philosophers Stone, or souraine Quintessence, howsoeuer preciously precious, equiua∣lent to such diuine woorkes of supererogation. O high∣minded Pierce, hadd the traine of your woordes, and sen∣tences bene aunswearable to the retinue of your bragges, and threates, or the robes of your apparaunce in person, suteable to the weedes of your ostentation in tearmes: I would surely haue beene the first, that should haue pro∣claimed you, the most-singuler Secretary of this language,

& the heauenliest creature vnder the Spheres. Sweete M. Ascham, that was a flowing spring of humanity, and wor∣thy Sir Phillip Sidney, that was a florishing spring of nobi lity, must haue pardoned me: I would directly haue dis∣charged my conscience. But you must giue plaine men leaue to vtter their opinion without courtinge: I honor high heads, that stand vpon low feet; & haue no great affe∣ction to the gay fellowes, that build vp with their clābring hartes, and pull downe with their vntoward hands. Giue me the man that is meeke in spirit, lofty in zeale: simple in presumption, gallant in endeuour: poore in profession, riche in performance. Some such I knowe; and all such I value highly. They glory not of the golden Stone, or the, youthfull Quintessence: but Industrie is their goulden Stone; Action thier youthfull Quintessence; and Valour their diuine worke of Supererogation. Euerye one may thinke as he listeth; & speake as he findeth occasion: but in my fancy, they are simply the simplest fellows of al other, that boast they will exploite miracles, & come short in or∣dinarie reckonings. Great matters are no woonders, when they are menaced, or promised with big othes: and small thinges are maruels, when they are not expected, or sus∣pected. I wondred to heare, that Kelly had gotten the Gol∣den Fliece, and by vertue therof was sodenly aduaunced into so honorable reputation with the Emperours maie∣stye; but would haue woondred more, to haue seene a woorke of Supererogation from Nashe: whose witt must not enter the listes of comparison with Kellyes Alchimy: howsoeuer he would seeme to haue the Greene Lion, and the Flying Eagle in a boxe. But Kelly will bidd him looke to the swolne Toade, & the daunsing Foole. Kelly know∣eth his L•…•…tum Sapientiae, and vseth his termes of Arte. Si∣lence

is a great misterye: and lowde wordes but a Cowe∣herds horne. He that breedeth mountaynes of hope, and with much adoe begetteth a molehill (shall I tell him a newe tale in ould Inglishe?) beginneth like a mightie Oxe, & endeth like a sory Asse. To atchieue it without osten∣tation, is a notable prayse: but to vaunt it without atcheue∣ment, or to threaten it without effecte; is but a dubble proofe of a simple witt. Execution sheweth the hability of the man: presumption bewraieth the vanitie of the mind. The Sunne sayth not; I will thus, and thus displaye my glorious beames, but shineth indeede: the springe brag∣geth not of gallant flowers, but florisheth indeede: the Haruest boasteth not of plentifull fruit, but fructifieth in deede. Aesops fellowes being asked, what they could doe, answered they could doe any thing; but Aesope making a small showe, coulde doe much indeede: the Greeke So∣phisters knowing nothinge in comparison, (knowledge is a dry water) professed a skill in all thinges; but Socrates knowing in a manner all things, (Socrates was a springing rocke) professed a skill in nothinge: Lullius, and his secta∣ryes, haue the signet of Hermes, and the admirable Arte of disputinge infinitly de omni scibili; but Agrippa, one of the vniuersallest schollars, that Europe hath yeelded, and such a one, as some learned men of Germany, France, & Italie, intituled The Omniscious Doctour, Socraticallie decla∣meth against the vanitye of sciences, and for my comforte penneth the Apology of the Asse. Neuer any of these pra∣ting vagabundes had the vertuous Elixir, or other impor∣tant secret: (yet who such monarches for Phisique, Chi∣rurgery, Spagirique, Astrology, Palmastry, naturall & su∣pernaturall Magique, Necromancy, Familiar-spiritshipp, and all profound cunninge, as some of these arrant Impo∣stours?)

hee is a Pythagorean, and a close fellow of his tongue, & pen, that hath the right magisterium indeede; & can dispatch with the finger of Art, that they promis with the mouth of cosenage. They that vaunt, do it not: & they that pretend least, accomplish most. High-spirited Pierce doe it indeede, that thou crakest in vaine; and I will ho∣nour thy worke, that scorne thy worde. When there was no neede, thy breath was the mouth of Aetna; & like a Cy∣clops, thou didst forge thunder in Mongibello: now the warringe Planet was expected in person, and the Fiery Trigon seemed to giue the Alarme; thou talkeste of Cattes meate and Dogges meate enough: and wilt try it out by the teeth at the signe of the Dogs-head in the pot. Oh, what a chatering Monky is here: & oh what a dog-fly, is the dog∣starr proued? Elderton would haue answered this geere out-of-cry: or had I the witt of Scoggin, I could say some thing to it: but I looked for Cattes meate in aqua fortis, & Dogs meat in Gunpowder; & can no skill of these termes, steeped in thy mothers gutter, & thy fathers kennel. Na, if you will needes strike it as dead as a dore naile; and run vpon me with the blade of Cattes meate, & the fierbrond of Dogges-meate: I haue doone. Or in case your mea∣ning be, as you stoutely protest, to trounce me after twen∣ty in the hundred, and to haue about with me, with two staues, and a pyke, like a tall fellowe of Cracouia: there is no dea∣ling for short weapons. Young Martin was an ould hack∣ster: & had you plaid your maisters pryzes in his time, he peraduenture durste haue looked those two staues in the face, and would haue desired that pike of some more ac∣quaintance: but Truce keepe me out of his handes, that fighteth furiously with two staues of Cattes meate and a pyke of Dogges meate: and is resolutely bente, the beste

blood of the brothers shall pledge him in vineger. Hap∣py, it is noe worse, then vineger; a good sawce for Cattes meate, and Dogges meate. Gentlemen, you that thinke prommisse a bonde, and vse to performe more, then you threaten; neuer beleeue Braggadocio againe for his sake. When he hath done his best, and his worst: trust me, or credit your owne eies, his best Best is but Cattes meate, & his worst Worst but Doggs-meate enough. What should I goe circuiting about the bushe? He taketh the shortest cutt to the wood, and dispatcheth all controuersies in a fewe significant termes: not those of Gunpowder, which would aske some charging, and discharging: but these of dogges-meat, which are vp with a vomit. He that is not so little, as the third Cato from heauen, or the eight wise∣man vpon earth, may speake with authority; and christen me a Dunse, a foole, an ideot, a dolt, a goose-capp, an asse, and I wot not what, asifilthy, as filthy may be. Dogged Impu∣dēcy hath his proper Idiotisme; & very clarkly scholeth the eares of Modestie, to spell, Fa-fe-fi-fo-fu. Simple wittes would be dealt playnly withall: I stand not vpon coye or nice poyntes; but am one of those, that would gladlie learne their owne imperfections, errours, and follies, in specialissimaspecie: Be it knowne vnto all men by these pre∣sentes, that Thomas Nashe, from the topp of his witt loo∣king downe vpon simple creatures, calleth Gabriell Har∣uey a Dunse, a foole, an ideot, a dolt, a goose-capp, an asse, and soe fourth: (for some of the residue, is not to be spo∣ken but with his owne manerly mouth): but the wise man in printe, should haue doone well in his learned Confuta∣tion, to haue shewed particulerlie, which woords in my Letters, were the wordes of a Dunse: which Sentences, the sentences of a foole: which Arguments, the arguments

of an Ideot: which Opinions, the opinions of a dolt: which Iudgements, the iudgements of a goose-cap: which Conclusions, the conclusions of an Asse. Eyther this wold be dun, (for I suppose, he would be loth to proue some Asses, that in fauour haue written otherwise, and in reason are to verify their owne testimonies): or he must be fayne himselfe, to eate his owne Cattes-meate, & Dogges-meat: and swallow-downe a Dunse, a foole, an ideot, a dolt, a goose-cap, an asse in his owne throate; the proper case of his filthiest excrements, and the sinke of the famous rascal; that had rather be a Poulcatt with a stinkinge stur, then a musk-cat with gratious fauor. Pardon me gentle Ciuilit•…•…e: if I did not tender you, & disclame impudency, I could do him some peece of right; & shew him his well fauored face in a Cristall, as true as Gascoignes steele-glas. But trust him not for a dodkin (it is his owne request) if I euer did my Doctors Actes: which a thowsand heard in Oxforde; and some knew to be done with as little premeditation, as euer such actes were done: (for I answered vpon the questions, that were giuen me by Doctor Cathedrae, but two dayes before; and read my Cursory Lecture with a dayes war∣ning:) or if I be not A F awne-guest Messenger betweene M. Christopher Bird, in whose company, I neuer dined, or sup∣ped these six yeares, and M. Emmanuell Demetrius, with whom I neuer dranke to this day. Other matters, touching her Highnesse affabilitie toward Schollers, (so her Maiesties fa∣uour toward mee must bee interpreted:) the Priuy watch∣word of honourable men in their Letters Commendatory, euen in the highest degree of praysing, (so our high Chaun∣cellours commendation must bee quallified:) Nashes graue Censure of Publike Inuectiues, and Satyres, (so Har∣ueyes slight opinion of contentious, and seditious Libels

must be crosbitten:) his testimony of Ciceroes consolation ad Dolabellam, (which he will needes father vpon me in re∣proch, though his betters wil neuer pen such a peec of La∣tin, whosoeuer wer the Stepp-Tully:) his derision of the most profitable, and valorous Mathematical Arts, (whose industrie hath atcheeued woonders of mightier puissance, then the labours of Hercules:) his contempt of the worthi∣est persones in euery faculty, (which he alwayes censureth as his punyes, and vnderlinges:) his palpable Atheisme, and drinkinge a cupp of Lammeswool to the Lambe of God: his gi∣binge at Heauen, (the hauen, where my deceased brother is arriued,) with a deepe cut out-of his Gramer rules; Astra petit disertus: the very starres, are scarres, where he listeth: and a hundred such, and such Particularities; that requier sum larger Discourse; shew him to be a youngman of the greenest springe, as beardles in iudgement, as in face; and as Penniles in witt, as in purse. It is the least of his famous aduentures, that hee vndertaketh to be Greenes aduocate: as diuine Plato assayed to defend Socrates at the Barr: and I knowe not whether it be the least of his dowtye exploites, that he salueth his frendes credit, as that excellent disciple saued his maisters life. He may declare his deere affecti∣on to his Paramour; or his pure honestye to the world; or his constant zeale to play the Diuels Oratour: but noe A∣pology of Greene, like Greenes Grotes-worth of witt: and when Nash will indeede accomplish a worke of Superero∣gation, let him publish, Nashes Penniworth of Discretion. If he be learneder, or wiser then other, in so large an assise, as should appeare by the reporte of his owne mouth; it is the better for him: but it were not amisse, he should sumtime looke-backe to the budget of Ignorance, and Folly, that hangeth behind him; as otherwhiles he condescendeth to

glaunce at the satchell of his grammar bookes. Calumny, & her coosen-german Impudency wil not alwaies hould∣out rubbers: and they neede not greatlie bragge of their haruest, that make Phantasie the roote, vanity the stalke, Follye the eare, Penurye the cropp, and Shame the whole substance of their studdies. To be ouer-bould with one, or two, is something: to be sawcy with many, is much: to spare fewe, or none, is odious: to be impudent with all, is intollerable. There were fayre playe enough, though foule play were debarred but Boyes, fooles, and knaues, take all in snuffe, when the variance might be debated in the language of Curtesie: and nothing but horseplay will serue, where the colt is disposed to playe the iade. Did I list to persecute him in his own vaine, or were I not restrai∣ned with respectiue termes of diuine, and ciuill moderati∣on: ô Aretin, how pleasurably might I canuas the baw∣ling cur, in a tossing sheete of paper: or ô Gryson, who could more easilie discouer a newe Arte of riding a head∣strong beaste? But that which Nashe accounteth the bra∣uery of his witt, and the dubble creast of his style, I am in discretion to cut-of: and in modesty yeeld it his onely glorye, to haue the fowlest mouth, that I euer sawe, and the strongest breath, that I euer fealt. When witty girding faileth, as it pitifully fayleth in euery page of that Superar∣rogatory worke: Lord, what odious baggage, what ras∣cal stuffe, what villanous trumpery filleth-vpp the leafe: and howe egregiously would he playe the vengeable Sy∣cophant, if the conueiance of his Arte, or witt, were in a∣nye measure of proportion, correspondent to his pestilent stomacke? But in the fellest fitt of his Furye, euen when he runneth vpon me with openest mouth, & his Spite like a poysonous toade, swelleth in the full: as if some huge

timpany of witt would presentlye possesse his braine; or some horrible Fiery Spright would flye in my face, and blast me to nothing: then good Dick Tarleton is dead, & nothing aliue but Cattes-meat, & Dogges-meat enough. Na, were it not, that hee hadd dealt politiquely, in proui∣dinge himself an autenticall suerty, or rather a mighty pro∣tectour at a pinch, such a deuoted freend, and inseparable companion, as Aeneas was to Achates, Pylades to Orestes, Diomedes to Vlysses, Achilles to Patroclus, and Hercu∣les to Theseus: doubtlesse hee had beene vtterly vndone. Compare olde, and new histories, of farre, & neere coun∣tries: and you shall finde the late manner of Sworne Bro∣thers, to be no new fashion, but an auncient guise, and he∣roicall order; deuised for necessity, continued for security, and mainetayned for proffite, and pleasure. In brauest a∣ctions, in weightiest negotiations, in hardest distresses, in how many cases, One man, no-boddy; and a dayly frend, as necessary, as our dayly bread. No treasure, more pre∣cious: no bonde, more indefesible: no castle, more im∣pregnable: no force, more inuincible: no trueth, more infallible: no element, more needefull; then an entire, & assured associate; euer prest, aswell in calamity to comfort, or in aduersity to relieue, as in prosperity to congratulate, or in aduancemente to honour. Life is sweete, but not without sweete societie: & an inward affectionate frend, (as it were another Thesame, or a second Selfe,) the very life of life, and the sweet-harte of the hart. Nashe is learned, & knoweth his Leripup. Where was Euryalus, there was Ni∣sus: where Damon, there Pythias: where Scipio, there Laelius: where Apollonius, there Damides: where Proc∣lus, there Archiadas: where Pyrocles, there Musidorus: where Nashe, there his Nisus, his Pythias, his Laelius, his

Damides, his Archiadas, his Musidorus; his indiuisible companion, with whose puissant helpe hee conquereth, wheresoeuer he raungeth. Na, Homer nor such an author for Alexander: nor Xenophon for Scipio: nor Virgil for Augustus: nor Iustin for Marcus Aurelius: nor Liuy for Theodosius Magnus: nor Caesar for Selymus: nor Phi∣lip de Comines for Charles the fift: nor Macchiauell for some late princes: nor Aretin for some late Curtesans; as his Authour for him; the sole authour of renowned victo∣rie. Maruel not, that Erasmus hath penned the Encomi∣um of Folly; or that so many singular learned men haue la∣boured the commendation of the Asse: he it is, that is the godfather of writers, the superintendent of the presse, the muster-maister of innumerable bands, the Generall of the great feilde: hee, and Nashe will confute the world. And wher is the Aegles quill, that can sufficiently aduance the first spoiles of their new conquestes? Whist sory pen, and be aduised how thou presume aboue the highest pitch of thy possibility. Hee that hath christened so many notable authours; censured so many eloquent pennes; enrowled so many worthy garrisones; & encamped so many noble, and reuerend Lordes; may be bould with me. If I be an Asse, I haue company enough: and if I be no Asse, I haue fauour to be enstalled in such companye. The name will shortly grow in request, as it somtime florished in glorious Roome: and who then will not sue, to be free of that ho∣norable Company? Whiles they are ridden, I desire not to be spared: when the hott-spurr is aweary with tyring them, he wil scarsly troble himself with a skin. Or if he do, I may chance acquaint him with a secret indistillation; He that drinketh Oyle of prickes, shall haue much adooe to voide syrup of roses; and he that eateth nettles for prouan∣der,

hath a priuiledg to pisse vpon Lillyes for litter. Poules wharfe honour the memorye of oulde Iohn Hester, that would not sticke with his frende for twentye such experi∣mentes; & would often tell me of A Magistral vnguent for all sores. Who knoweth not that Magistrall vnguent, knoweth nothing: and who hath that magistral vnguent, feareth no gunshott. The Confuter meant to be famous, like Poggius, that altobe-assed Valla, Trapezuntius, and their defendantes, many learned Italians: or might haue giuen a gesse at some possible afterclaps, as good as a prog∣nostication of an after-winter. Though Pierce Penniles, for a spurt were a ranke rider, and like an arrant knight o∣uerran nations with a carreer; yet Thomas Nashe might haue beene aduised, and in pollicy haue spared them, that in compassion fauoured him; and were vnfaynedlye sory, to finde his miserable estate, aswell in his style, as in his purse, and in his wit, as in his fortune. Some complex∣ions haue much adooe to alter their nature: & Nashe wil carrie a tache of Pierce to his graue, (we haue worse pro∣uerbes in englishe:) yet who seeith not, what apparent good, my Letters haue done him, that before ouercrow∣ed all commers, and goers with like discretion, but nowe forsooth hath learned some fewe handsome termes of res∣pecte, and verye manerly beclaweth a fewe, that he might the more licentiously besmeere one. S. Fame giue him ioye of his blacke cole, and his white chalke.

Who is not limed with some default; or who reddier to confesse his own imperfections, then miselfe? but when in professed hatred, like a mortal feudist, he hath vttered his very vttermost spite, & wholy disgorged his rācorous sto∣macke: yet can he not, so much as deuise any particulara∣ction of trespas, or obiect any certaine vice against me, but

only one greuous crime, called Pumps, & Pātofles, (which indeede I haue worne, euer since I knewe Cambridge,) & his owne deerest hart-root, Pride: which I protest before God, and man, my soule in iudgment as much detesteth, as my body in nature lotheth poyson; or any thing abhor∣reth his deadlye enemy, euen amongst those creatures, which are found fatally contrary by naturall Antipathy. It is not excesse, but defecte of pride, that hath broken the head of some mens preferment. Aspiring mindes can soare aloft: and Selfe-conceit, with the countenaunce of Auda∣city, the tongue of Impudency, & the hand of Dexterity, preaseth bouldly into the forwardest throng of the shoul∣dring ranke: whiles Discretion hath leasure to discourse, whether somedeale of Modesty were meeter for manye, that presume aboue their condition; and some deale of Selfe-liking fitter for some, that haue fealt no greater want, then want of Pride. It may seeme a rude disposition, that sorteth not with the quality of the age: & Pollicy deemeth that vertue a vice, that modesty, simplicity, that resolutenes, dissolutenes, that conformeth not it selfe, with a supple & deft correspōdence to the present time: but no such oxe in my mind, as Tarquinius Superbus: no such calfe, as Spu∣rius Maelius: no such colt, as Publius Clodius: no such Ape, as Lucians Rhetorician, or the Diuels Oratour. Blind ambition, a noble bayarde: proud arrogancy, a goulden Asse: vaine conceit, a gaudy Peacocke: all brauery, that is not effectuall, a gay nothing. He vpbraideth me with his own good nature: but where such an insolent braggard, or such a pussing thing, as himselfe: that in magnifying his owne bable, & debasing me, reuileth them, whose bookes, or pantofles he is not worthy to beare. If I be an Asse, what asses were those curteous frendes, those excellent learned

men, those worshipfull, & honorable personages, whose Letters of vndeserued, but singular cōmendation may be shewen? What an asse was thiselfe, whē thou didst publish my praise amongst the notablest writers of this realme? or what an Asse art thiself, that in the spitefullest outrage of thy maddest Confutatiō, dost otherwhiles enterlace some remembrances of more account, then I can acknowledge without vanity, or desier without ambition? The truth is, I stande as little vpon others commendations, or mine owne titles, as any man in England whosoeuer; if there be nothing els to solicite my cause: but being so shamefully and intollerably prouoked in the most villanous termes of reproch, I were indeede a notorious insensate asse, in case I should eyther sottishly neglect the reputation of soe wor∣thy fauorers, or vtterly abandō mine owne credit. Sweet Gentlemen, renowned knightes, and honorable Lordes, be not ashamed of your Letters, imprinted, or written: if I liue, seeing I must eyther liue in tenebris with obloquy, or in luce with proofe; by the leaue of God, I will prooue miselfe no Asse. I speake not onely to M. Bird, M. Spen∣cer, or Monsieur Bodin, whom he nothinge regardeth: (yet I would his owne learning, or iudgmente were anye way matchable with the worst of the three:) but amongst a number of sundrie other learned, and gallant Gentlemē, to M. Thomas Watson, a notable Poet; to M. Thomas Hatcher, a rare Antiquary; to M. Daniel Rogers of the Court; to Doctor Griffin Floyd, the Queenes professour oflawe at Oxforde; to Doctor Peter Baro a professour of diuinity in Cambridg; to Doctor Bartholmew Clark, late Deane of the Arches; to Doctor William Lewen, Iudge of the prerogatiue Court; to Doctor Iohn Thomas Frei∣gius, a famous writer of Germany: to Sir Philip Sidney;

to M. Secretary Wilson; to Sir Thomas Smith; to Sir Walter Mildmay; to milord the bishop of Rochester; to milord Treasurer; to milord the Earle of Leicester: Vn∣to whose worshipfull and honorable fauours I haue bene exceedingly beholding for letters of extraordinary com∣mendation; such, as some of good experience haue doubt∣ed, whether they euer voutsafed the like vnto any of either vniuersity. I beseech God, I may deserue the least parte of their good opinion, eyther in effectuall proofe, or in du∣tifull thankefullnesse: but how little soeuer I presume of mine owne sufficiency, (he that knoweth himselfe, hath smal cause to conceiue any high hope of low meanes:) as in reason I was not to flatter miselfe with their bountifull commendation; so in iudgement I am not to agreeue mi∣selfe with the odious detraction of this pestilent libeller, or any like despiteous slanderer: but in patience am to digest the one with moderation, as in temperance I qualified the other with modesty. Some would say, what is the pee∣uishe grudge of one beggarly rakehell, to so honorable li∣king of so many excellēt, & some singular mē? But god in heauē, teach me to take good by my aduersaries inuectiue; and no harme by my fauourers approbation. It is neither the one, nor the other, that deserueth euill, or well; but the thing it selfe, that edifieth; without which, praise is smoke; and with which, dispraise is fyer. Let me enioy that essential point: & hauke, or hunt, or fishe after praise, you that list. Many contumelious, and more glorious re∣ports haue passed from Enemies, & Frends, without cause, or vpon smal occasion: that is the onely infamy, that can∣not acquit it selfe from guiltinesse; & that the only honor, that is grounded vpō desert. Other winds of diffamation, want matter to vpholde it: and other shadowes of glory,

lacke a body to support it. In vnhappinesse they are hap∣py, of whose bad amounteth good; & in happinesse they vnhappy, whose good prooueth bad: as glory eftsoones followeth them, that fly from it, & flyeth from them, that followe it. There is a Terme Probatory, that wil not ly: and commendations are neuer autenticall, vntill they bee signed with the seale of approoued Desert, the only infal∣lible Testimoniall. Desert, (maugre Enuy, the compani∣on of Vertue) Socrates high waye to Honour; & the to∣tall summe of Osorius De Gloria. I will not enter into Macchiauels discourses, Iouius Elogyes, Cardās natiuities, Cosmopolites Dialogues, or later Histories in dyuers lan∣guages: but some worthelye continue honorable, whom they make dishonorable, & contrariwise. Reason hath an euen hande, and dispenseth to euerye one his right: Arte amplifieth, or extenuateth at occasion: the residue, is the liberality of the pen, or the poyson of the inke: in Logique, Sophistrie; in law, iniury; in historie, a fable; in diuinity, a lye. Horace, a sharpe, and sententious Poet, after his pi∣thy manner, comprizeth much in fewe wordes:

Falsus honor iuuat, & mendax infamia terret,

Quem nisi mendacem, & mendosum? For mine owne part, I am reasonably resolute both wayes, & stand affraide of phantasticall discredit, as I esteeme imaginatiue credit, or a contemplatiue banquett. It fitteth not with the pro∣fession of a Philosopher, or the constancie of a man, to car∣rye the minde of a childe, or an youth, or a woman, or a slaue, or a tyrant, or a beast. That resteth not in my pow∣er, to reforme, or alter, I were very vnwise if I should not endure with patience, mittigate with reason, & contemne with pleasure. Onely I can be content in certain behooue∣full respects, to yeeld a peece of a satisfaction vnto some,

that requier it in affectionate termes: and what honest minde, in case of mortalitie, hath not a care, how the pos∣terity may be informed of him? Other reasons I haue els∣where assigned: and am here to present a vowe to Humi∣litie, in detestatiō of that, which my disposition abhorreth.

As for his lewd supposals, & imputations of counterfait praises, without anye probability of circumstance, or the least suspition, but in his owne vengeable malitious head, the common forge of pestilent surmyzes, and arrant slaun∣ders; they are like my imprisonment in the Fleete of his strong Fantasie, and doe but intimate his owne skill in fal∣sifying of euidence, and suborning of witnesses to his pur∣pose: he museth, as he vseth; & the goodwife his mother would neuer haue sought her daughter in the Oouen, if herselfe had not beene well acquainted with such shiftes of cunninge conueiance. He was neuer a non proficient in good matters,; and hath not studied his fellowes Arte of Cunnycatching for nothinge. Examin the Printers gen∣tle Preamble before the Supplication to the Diuell: and tell me in good sooth, by the verdicte of the Tuchstone, whether Pierce Penniles commende Pierce Penniles, or no; and whether that sory praise of the Authour Thomas Nashe, be not lothsome from the mouthe of the Printer Thomas Nashe. In coniectural causes I am not to auouch any thinge; and I mentioned not anye such supposition before: but the tenour of the style, & as it were the iden∣titye of the phrase, togither with this newe descant of his profound insight in forgery, may after a sort tel tales out of the tytle De Secretis non reuelandis; & yeld a certain strong sauour of a vehement presumption. There is pregnant eui∣dence enough, though I leaue probable cōrectures, & vio∣lent presumptions, wher I found them. His Life daily 〈◊〉〈◊〉 his Stile; & his Stile notoriously bewraieth his Life.

But what is that to me, or the world, howe Nashe liueth; or howe the poore fellowe his father hath put him to his foisting, and scribling shiftes; his onely gloria patri, when all is done. Rule thy desperate infamous penne; & bee the sonne of a mule, or the printers Gentleman, or what thou wilt for me. If thou wilt needs deriue thy pettigree frō the noble blood of the Kilprickes, and Childeberds, kinges of France: what commission haue I to sitt vpō Genealogies, or to call nobilitie in question? If thou beist disposed to speake as thou liuest, & to liue like Tonosconcoleros, the famous Babilonian king: in curtesy, or in pollicy forbeare one, that is not ouer-hasty to troble himselfe with trobling other. What I haue heard credibly reported, I can yet be cōtent to smother in silence: & nether threaten thee with Tiburne, nor Newgate, nor Ouldgate, nor Counter, nor Fleete, nor any publique penance; but wishe thy amend∣ment: and dare not be too sawcy with your good quali∣ties, les you confute my Maistership of Arte, as you haue done my Doctorship of Lawe. Neuer poore Doctorship was soe confuted. The best is, I dote not vpon it; and would rather be actually degraded, then any way dispa∣rage the degree, or derogate from them, that are worthier ofit. Rest you quiet; and I will not onely not struggle with you for a tytle; but offer here to renounce the whole aduantage of a late inquisition, vpon a clamorous denun∣ciation of S. Fame herselfe: who presumed she might be as bould to play the blab with you, as you were to play the slouen with her. Or if your pen be so ranke, that it cannot stande vpon any ground, but the soile of Calumny, in the muck-yard of Impudency: or your tongue soe laxatiue, that it must vtterly vtter a great horrible deale more then all; whuist a while: and for your instruction, til some preg∣nanter

lessons come abrode, I wil breefely tell you in your care, A certaine familiar history; of more then one or two breakefastes, wherein some eight or nine eggs, & a pound of butter for your pore part, with Gods plenty of other vi∣ctuals, & wine enough, powred-in by quartes, and pottels, was a scant pittance for an inuincible stomack, two houres before his ordinary. I haue readd of Apicius, and Epi∣cures Philosophy: but I perceaue you meane not to be ac∣counted a Pythagorean, or a Stoique. What? gorge vpon gorge, egges vpon egges, & sacke vpō sacke at these yeares? Berlady, Sir Kilpricke, you must prouide for a hott kitchin againste you growe ould; if you purpose to liue Doctor Pernes, or Doctor Kenols yeares. Such egging and whit∣ling may happen bring you acquainted with the trium∣phant chariot of rotten egges; if you take not the better order in tyme, with one, or two of the seuē deadly sinnes. I will not offend your stomacke with the nice and queint regiment of the dainty Platonistes, or pure Pythagoreans: fine Theurgy, too-gant and meager a doctrine for the Di∣uels Oratour: if the Arte Notory, cannot be gotten with∣out fasting, and praying, muchgoditch-them that haue it: let phantasticall, or superstitious Abstinence, daunce in the aier, like Aristophanes clowdes, or Apuleius witches: your owne method of those deadly sinnes, be your Castell of Health. No remedy, you must be dieted; & lett-blood in the Cephalica veine of Asses, fooles, doltes, ideots, Dun∣ses, dodipoules, and so foorth infinitly: & neuer trust me, if you be not as tame-tonged, and barren-witted, as other honest men of Lumbardy, & the Low-Cuntries. Tushe man, I see deeper into thee, then thou seeist into thy selfe: thou hast a superficiall tange of some little somethinge, as good as nothing; and a runing witt, as fisking as any fisgig,

but as shallow as Trumpington foorde, and as slight as the newe workemanship of guegawes to please children, or of toys to mocke apes, or of trinketts to conquer sauages. Only in that singular veine of asses, thou art incomparable; and such an egregious arrant foole-munger, as liueth not a∣gaine. She knew what she said, that intituled Pierce, the hoggeshed of witt: Penniles, the tospot of eloquence: & Nashe, the verye inuentor of Asses. She it is, that must broach the barrell of thy frisking conceite, and canonise the Patriarke of newe writers.

I will not heere decipher thy vnprinted packet of baw∣dye, and filthy Rymes, in the nastiest kind: there is a fitter place for that discouery of thy foulest shame, & the whole ruffianisme of thy brothell Muse, if she still prostitute her obscene ballatts, and will needes be a younge Curtisan of ould knauery. Yet better a Confuter of Letters, then a con∣founder of manners: and better the dogges-meate of A∣grippa, or Cattes-meate of Poggius, then the swines-meate of Martial, or goates-meate of Arretine. Cannot an Ita∣han ribald, vomit-out the infectious poyson of the world, but an Inglishe horrel-lorrel must licke it vp for a restora∣tiue; and attempt to putrify gentle mindes, with the vilest impostumes of lewde corruption? Phy on impure Ga∣nimeds, Hermaphrodits, Neronists, Messalinists, Dode∣comechanists, Capricians, Inuentours of newe, or reui∣uers of old leacheries, and the whole brood of venereous Libertines, that knowe no reason, but appetite, no Lawe but Luste, no humanitie, but villanye, noe diuinity but A∣theisme. Such riotous, and incestuous humours would be launced, not feasted: the Diuell is eloquent enough, to play his owne Oratour: his Damme an old bawde, wanteth not the broccage of a young Poet: Wanton

sprites were alwayes busie, & Duke Allocer on his lustye Cocke-horse, is a whot Familiar: the sonnes of Adam, & the daughters of Eue, haue noe neede of the Serpentes ca∣rowse to set them agogg: Sodome still burneth; and al∣though fier from heauen spare Gomorra, yet Gomorra stil consumeth itselfe. Euen amorous Sonnets, in the gallan∣test and sweetest ciuill veine, are but daintyes of a pleasu∣rable witt, or iunkets of a wanton liuer, or buddes of an idle head: whatsoeuer sprowteth farther, would be lop∣ped. Petrarckes Inuention, is pure Loue it selfe; and Pe∣trarckes Elocution, pure Bewty it selfe: his Laura was the Daphne of Apollo, not the T hisbe of Pyramus; a deliti∣ous Sappho, not a lasciuious Lais; a sauing Hester, not a destroying Helena; a nimph of Diana, not a Curtisan of Venus. Aretines muse was an egregious bawd, & a hag∣gishe witch of Thessalia: but Petrarcks verse, a fine loouer, that learneth of Mercury, to exercise his fayrest giftes in a faire subiect; & teacheth Wit to be inamored vpon Beau∣tye: as Quicksiluer embraseth gold; or as vertue affecteth honour; or as Astronomy gazeth vpon heauen; to make Arte more excellent by contemplation of excellentest Nature. Petrarck was a delicate man, and with an elegant iudgement gratiously confined Loue within the limits of Honour; Witt within the boundes of Discretion; Elo∣quence within the termes of Ciuility: as not many yeares sithence, an Inglishe Petrarck did, a singular Gentleman, and a sweete Poet; whose verse singeth, as valour might speake; and whose ditty, is an Image of the Sun, voutsa∣fing to represent his glorious face in a clowde. All posterity honour Petrarck, that was the harmony of hea∣uen; the lyfe of Poetry; the grace of Arte; a precious ta∣blet of rare conceits, & a curious frame of exquisite worke∣manship;

nothing but neate Witt, and refined Eloquence. Were the amorous muse of my enemy, such aliuely Spring of sweetest flowers, & such a liuing Haruest of ripest fruits: I would abandon other loues, to dote vpon that most∣louely muse; and would debase the Dyamant in compa∣rison of that most Dyamant muse. But out-vpon ranke, & lothsome ribaldry, that putrifieth, where it should purify, and presumeth to deflowre the moste florishinge wittes, with whom it consorteth, eyther in familiarity, or by fa∣uour. One Ouid was too-much for Roome; and one Greene too-much for London: but one Nashe more in∣tollerable then both: not bicause his witt is anye thinge comparable, but bicause his will is more outragious. Fer∣raria could scarcely brooke Manardus, a poysonous Phisi∣tian: Mantua hardly beare Pomponatius, a poysonous Philosopher: Florence more hardly tollerate Macchiauel, a poysonous politician: Venice most hardly endure Arre∣tine, a poysonous ribald: had they liued in absolute Mo∣narchies, they would haue seemed vtterly insupportable. Germany, Denmarke, Sweden, Polony, Boemia, Hunga∣ry, Moscouy, are noe soiles of any such wittes: but neither Fraunce, nor Spaine, nor Turky, nor any puissant king∣dom, in one, or other Monarchy of the old, or new world, could euer abide any such pernicious writers, deprauers of cōmon discipline. Ingland, since it was Inglād, neuer bred more honorable mindes, more aduenturous hartes, more valoroushandes, or more excellent wittes, then of-late: it is enough for Filly-folly to intoxicate it selfe, though it be not suffered to defyle the lande, which the water enuiro∣neth, the Earth enritcheth, the aier ensweeteneth, and the Heauen blesseth. The bounteous graces of God are so∣wen thicke, but come vp thin: corruption had little need

to be fostred: wantonnesse wilbe a nurse, a bawde, a Po∣et, a Legend to itselfe: vertue hath much-a doe to hold∣out inuiolably her purposed course: Resolution is a for∣ward fellow, and Valour a braue man; but affections are infections, and appetite must sometime haue his swinge. Were Appetite a loyall subiect to Reason, and Will an af∣fectionate seruant to Wisdom; as Labour is a dutifull vas∣sal to Commodity, and Trauail a flying post to Honour; ô heauens, what exploites of worth, or rather what miracles of excellency, might be atcheeued in an age of Pollicy, & a world of Industry. The date of idle vanityes is expired: awaye with these scribling paltryes: there is an other Spar∣ta in hande, that indeede requireth Spartan Temperance, Spartan Frugality, Spartan exercise, Spartan valiancye, Spartan perseuerance, Spartan inuincibility: and hath no wanton leasure for the Comedyes of Athens; nor anye bawdy howers for the songes of Priapus, or the rymes of Nashe. Had he begun to Aretinize, when Elderton be∣gan to ballat, Gascoine to sonnet, Turberuile to madrigal, Drant to versify, or Tarleton to extemporise; some parte of his phantasticall bibble-bables, and capricious panges, might haue bene tollerated in a greene, and wild youth: but the winde is chaunged, & there is a busier pageant vp∣on the stage. M.Aschams Toxophilus long fithence shot at a fairer marke: and M. Gascoigne himselfe, after some ri∣per experience, was glad to trye other conclusions in the Lowe Countryes; and bestowed an honorable commen∣dation vpon Sir Humfrye Gilbertes gallant discourse, of a discouery for a newe passage to the East Indyes. But read the report of the worthy Westerne discoueries, by the said Sir Humfry Gilbert: the report of the braue West-Indi∣an voyage by the conduction of Sir Frauncis Drake: the

report of the horrible Septentrionall discoueryes by the trauail of Sir Martin Forbisher: the report of the politique discouery of Virginia, by the Colony of Sir Walter Ra∣leigh: the report of sundry other famous discoueryes, & aduentures, published by M. Rychard Hackluit in one volume, a worke of importance: the report of the hoatt wellcom of the terrible Spanishe Armada to the coast of Inglande, that came in glory, and went in dishonour: the report of the redoubted voyage into Spaine, and Por∣tugall, whence the braue Earle of Essex, and the twoo valorous Generals, Sir Iohn Norris, and Sir Frauncis Drake returned with honour: the report of the reso∣lute encounter about the Iles Azores, bewixt the Re∣uenge of Ingland, and an Armada of Spaine; in which encounter braue Sir Richard Grinuile most vigorously & impetuously attempted the extreamest possibilities of valour and fury: for breuity I ouerskipp many excel∣lent Traicts the same, or the like nature: but reade these, and M. William Borrowghes notable discourse of the variation of the compas, or magneticall needle; annex∣ed to the new Attractiue of Robert Norman Hydrogra∣pher: vnto which two, Ingland in some respectes is as much beholding, as Spayne vnto Martin Cortes, & Peter de Medina, for the Arte of Nauigation: and when you haue obserued the course of Industry; examined the an∣tecedents, and consequents of Trauail; compared Inglish, and Spanish valour; measured the Forces of both parties; weighed euery circumstance of Aduantage; considered the Meanes of our assurance and finally found proffit to be our pleasure, prouision our security, labour our honour, warfare our welfare: who of reckoning, can spare anye lewde, or vaine tyme for corrupt pamphlets; or who of iudgment, will not cry? away with these paultringe fidle∣faddles.

When Alexander in his conquerous expeditions visited the ruines of Troy, and reuolued in his minde the valiant actes of the Heroicall Woorthies there atchieued; One offered to bring his Maiesty, the Harpe of Paris: Let it alone, quoth hee, it is the Harpe of Achilles, that must serue my turne. Paris vppon his harpe, sang voluptuous, & lasciuious Carols: Achilles harpe was an instrument of glory, and a quier of diuine Hymnes, consecrated to the honour of valorous Captaines, and mighty Conquerours. He regarded not the dainety Lydian, Iônian, or Aeolian Melody: but the braue Dorian, and impetuous Phrygian Musique: and waged Zenophantus to inflame and enrage his courage with the furious notes of Battail. One Alexan∣der was a thousand Examples of Prowesse: but Pyrrhus, the redoubted king of the Epirots, was an other Alexander in tempestuous execution: and in a most-noble resolution contemned the Vanities of vnnoble Pastimes: in so much that, when one of his Barons asked his Maiestie, whether of the twoo Musitians, Charisius, or Python, pleased his Highnesse better: Whether of the two, quoth Pyrrhus; marry Polysperces shall go for my money. He was a braue Captaine for the eie, & a fitt Musitian for the eare of Pyr∣rhus. Happy Polysperces, that serued such a master: and happy Pyrrhus that commaunded such a seruaunt. Were some demaunded, whether Greenes, or Nashes Pamflets, were better penned: I beleeue they would aunsweare; Sir Roger Williams Discourse of War, for Militare Doctrine in Esse; and M. Thomas Digges Stratioticos, for Militare Discipline in Esse. And whiles I remember the Princely care of Gelo, a famous Tyrant of Sicill, (many tyrants of Sicill were very politique) that commaunded his great horse to be brought into the banquetting house, where o∣ther

Lordes called for the Harpe, other Knightes for the Waites: I cannot forget the gallant discourse of Horse∣manship, penned by a rare gentleman, M. Iohn Asteley of the Court: whome I dare intitle our Inglish Xenophon; and maruell not, that Pietro Bizzaro, a learned Italian, proposeth him for a perfect Patterne of Castilios Courtier. And thinking vpon worthy M. Asteley, I cannot ouerpasse the like labour of good M. Thomas Blundeuil, without due commendation: whose painefull, and skillfull bookes of Horsemanship, deserue also to be registred in the Cata∣logue of Xenophontian woorkes. What should I speake of the two braue Knightes, Musidorus, and Pyrocles, com∣bined in one excellent knight, Sir Philip Sidney; at the re∣membrance of whose woorthy, and sweete Vertues, my hart melteth? Will you needes haue a written Pallace of Pleasure, or rather a printed Court of Honour? Read the Countesse of Pembrookes Arcadia, a gallant Legendary, full of pleasurable accidents, and proffitable discourses; for three thinges especially, very notable; for amorous Courting, (he was young in yeeres;) for sage counselling, (he was ripe in iudgement;) and for valorous fighting, (his soueraine profession was Armes:) and delightfull pastime by way of Pastorall exercises, may passe for the fourth. He that will Looue, let him learne to looue of him, that will teach him to Liue; & furnish him with many pi∣thy, and effectuall instructions, delectably interlaced by way of proper descriptions of excellent Personages, and common narrations of other notable occurrences; in the veine of Salust, Liuy, Cornelius Tacitus, Iustine, Eutro∣pius, Philip de Comines, Guicciardine, and the most sen∣tentious Historians, that haue powdred their stile with the salt of discretion, and seasoned their iudgement with the

leauen of experience. There want not some suttle Strata∣gems of importance, and some politique Secretes of priui∣tie: and he that would skillfully, and brauely manage his weapon with a cunning Fury, may finde liuely Precepts in the gallant Examples of his valiantest Duellists; espe∣cially of Palladius, and Daiphantus; Zelmane, and Am∣phialus; Phalantus, and Amphialus: but chiefly of Arga∣lus, and Amphialus; Pyrocles, and Anaxius; Musidorus, and Amphialus; whose lusty combats, may seeme He∣roicall Monomachies. And that the valor of such redoub∣ted men, may appeere the more conspicuous, and admira∣ble, by comparison, and interview of their contraries; smile at the ridiculous encounters of Dametas, & Dorus; of Dametas, and Clinias: and euer when you thinke vpon Dametas, remember the Confuting Champion, more surquidrous then Anaxius, and more absurd then Dame∣tas: and if I should alwayes hereafter call him Dametas, I should fitt him with a name, as naturally proper vnto him, as his owne. Gallant Gentlemen, you that honor Vertue, and would enkindle a noble courage in your mindes to e∣uery excellent purpose; if Homer be not at hand, (whome I haue often tearmed the Prince of Poets, and the Poet of Princes) you may read his furious Iliads, & cunning Odysses in the braue aduentures of Pyrocles, and Musidorus: where Pyrocles playeth the dowty fighter, like Hector, or Achilles; Musidorus, the valiant Captaine, like Pandarus, or Diomedes; both, the famous errant Knightes, like AE∣neas, or Vlysses. Lord, what would himselfe haue prooued in fine, that was the gentleman of Curtesy, the Esquier of Industry, and the Knight of Valour at those yeeres? Liue euer sweete Booke; the siluer Image of his gentle witt, and the golden Pillar of his noble courage: and euer notify vn∣to

the worlde, that thy Writer, was the Secretary of Elo∣quence; the breath of the Muses; the hoony-bee of the dayntiest flowers of Witt, and Arte; the Pith of morall, & intellectuall Vertues; the arme of Bellona in the field; the toung of Suada in the chāber; the spirite of Practise in esse; and the Paragon of Excellency in Print. And now whiles I consider, what a Trompet of Honour, Homer hath bene to sturre-vp many woorthy Princes; I cannot forget the woorthy Prince, that is a Homer to himselfe, a Golden spurre to Nobility, a Scepter to Vertue, a Verdure to the Spring, a Sunne to the day; and hath not onely translated the two diuine Poems of Salustius du Bartas, his heauenly Vrany, and his hellish Furies: but hath readd a most valo∣rous Martial Lecture vnto himselfe in his owne victorious Lepanto, a short, but heroicall worke, in meeter, but royal meeter, fitt for a Dauids harpe. Lepanto, first the glory of Christendome against the Turke; and now the garland of a soueraine crowne. When young Kings haue such a care of their flourishing Prime; and like Cato, are ready to ren∣der an accompt of their vacant howers; as if Aprill were their Iuly, and May their August: how should gentlemen of yeeres, employ the golden talent of their Industry, and trauaile: with what feruency; with what vigour; with what zeale, with what incessant, and indefatigable ende∣our: Phy vpon fooleries: there be honourable woerkers to doe; and notable workes to read. The afore-named Bar∣•…•…as, (whome elsewhere I haue stiled the Treasurer of Hu∣manity, and the Ieweller of Diuinity) for the highnesse of his subiect, and the maiesty of his verse, nothing inferiour vnto Dante, (whome some Italians preferre before Virgil, or Homer,) a right inspited, and enrauished Poet; full of chosen, graue, profound, venerable, and stately matter;

euen in the next Degree to the sacred, and reuerend stile of heauenly Diuinity it selfe. In a manner the onely Poet, whome Vrany hath voutsafed to Laureate with her owne heauenly hand: and worthy to bee alleadged of Diuines, and Counsellours, as Homer is quoted of Philosophers, & Oratours. Many of his solemne verses, are oracles: & one Bartas, that is, one French Salomō, more weighty in stern, and mighty counsell, then the Seauen Sages of Greece. Neuer more beauty in vulgar Languages: but his stile ad∣deth fauour, and grace to beauty; and in a goodly Boddy representeth a puissant Soule. How few verses carry such a personage of state? or how few argumentes, such a spi∣rite of maiesty? Or where is the diuine instincte, that can sufficiently commend such a volume of celestiall inspira∣tion? What a iudgement hath the noble youth, the har∣uest of the Spring, the sapp of Apollos tree, the diademe of the Muses, that leaueth the enticingest flowers of delite, to reape the maturest fruites of wisedome? Happy plants, that speedily shew-foorth their generous nature: and a so∣ueraigne good possesseth those worthy mindes, that suffer not their affections to be inueigled, or entangled with any vnworthy thought. Great Excercises become great perso∣nages: as the Magnes approoueth his Nobility in com∣maunding Iron, and taming the Sea: baser, or meaner pa∣stimes belong vnto meaner Persons; as Iett discouereth his gentry, in drawing chaffe, haires, and such trifles. A meete qualitie for Iett, or a pretty feate for Amber, to iug∣gle chaffe, festues, or the like weighty burdens: but excel∣lent mindes are employed, like the noble Magnes, and e∣uer conuersant either in effecting, or in perusing, or in pen∣ning excellent workes. It were an impossible attempte, to do right vnto the great Captaine, Monsieur de la Noë, and

the braue soldiour, the French King himselfe, two terrible thunderboltes of warre, and two impetuous whirlewinds of the Field: whose writinges are like their actions, reso∣lute, effectuall, valiant, politique, vigorous, full of aëry, & fiery spirite, honourable, renowned wheresoeuer Valour hath a mouth, or Vertue a pen. Could the Warlie Horse speake, as he can runne, and fight, he would tell them, they are hoat Knightes: and could the bluddy Sword write, as it can sheare, it would dedicate a volume of Fury vnto the one, and a monument of Victory vnto the other. Albeit men should be malitious, or forgetfull, (Spite is malitious, and Ingratitude forgetfull) yet Prowesse hath a Clouen Tounge; and teacheth Admiration in a fiery language to pleade the glorious honour of emproued valiancy.

Some accuse their destiny: but blessed Key, that ope∣neth such lockes: and lucky, most lucky fortune, that yeel∣deth such ve•…•…tue. Braue Chiualry, a continuall witnesse of their valour and terribility in warre: and gallant Industry, the dayly bread of their life, in peace, or truce. Report shi∣ning Sunne, the dayes worke of the King: and burning Candle, relat•…•… his Nightes-studdy: and both ridd me of an 〈◊〉〈◊〉 For who euer praysed the wonders of Heauen?

And what an infinite course were it, to runne-thorough the particular commendations of the famous redoubted 〈◊〉〈◊〉 or then 〈◊〉〈◊〉 pregnant writers of this age, euen in the most-puissant Heroieall, and Argonauticall kinde?

Nimble Entelechy hath beene a straunger in some Coun∣tries: albeit a renowned Citisen of Greece; and a free De∣nisen of Italy, Spaine, Fra•…•…nce, and Germany: but well∣come the most-naturall inhabitant of the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, the faile of the ship, the flight of the bowe, the shott of the gunne,

the wing of the Eagle, the quintessence of the minde, the course of the sunne, the motion of the heauens, the influ∣ence of the starres, the heate of the fire, the lightnesse of the Ayer, the swiftnesse of the winde, the streame of the water, the frutefulnesse of the Earth, the singularitie of this age: and thanke thy most-vigorous felfe for so many preci∣ous workes of diuine furie, and powerable consequence; respectiuely comparable with the richest Treasuries, and brauest armories of Antiquitie. Thvise happie, or rather a thousand times-happie Creature, that with most aduan∣tage of all honorable opportunities, & with the extremest possibilitie of his whole powers, inward, or outward; em∣ploieth the most-excellent excellencie of humane, or di∣uine Nature. Other Secretes of Nature, and Arte, deserue an high reputation in their seuerall degrees, and may chal∣lenge a souerain interteinement in their speciall kinds: but Entelechy is the mysterie of mysteries vnder heauen, and the head-spring of the powerfullest Vertues, that diuinitie infuseth, humanitie imbraceth, Philosophie admireth, wisedome practiseth, Industrie emproueth, valour exten∣deth; or he conceiued, that conceiuing the wonderfull fa∣culties of the mind, & astonished with the incredible force of a rauished, & enthusiasticall spirite; in a profound con∣templation of that eleuate, and transcendent capacitie, (as it were in a deepe ecstasie, or Seraphicall vision,) most-pa∣thetically cryed-out; ô magnum miraculum Homo. No mar∣uel, ô great miracle, & ô most powerful Entelechy, though thou seemist A Pilgrim to Dametas, that art the Familiar Spirite of Musidorus: & what wōder, though he empeach thy estimation, that despiseth the graces of God, flowteth the constellations of heauē, frumpeth the operations of na∣ture, mocketh the effectuallest & auayllablest Arts, disday∣neth

the name of Industrie, or Honesty, scometh whatsoe∣uer may appeare Vertuous, fawneth onely vpon his owne conceits, claweth only his owne fauorits, and quippeth, bourdeth, girdeth, asseth the excellētest writers of whatso∣euer note, that tickle not his wāton sense. Nothing memo∣rable, or remarkable with hm, that feasteth not the riotous appetite of the ribald, or the humorous conceit of the phā∣tast. It is his S. Fame, to be the infamy of learning: his refor∣matiō, to be the corruption of his reader: his felicitie, to be the miserie of youth: his health, to be the scurfe of the Ci∣tie, the scabbe of the Vniuersitie, the bile of the Realme: his saluation, to be the damnation of whatsoeuer is ter∣med good, or accounted honest. Sweet Gentlemen, and florishing youthes, euer aime at the right line of Arte, and Vertue, of the one for knowledge, of the other for valour: and let the crooked rectifie itselfe. Resolution wandreth not, like an ignorant Traueller, but in euery enterprise, in euery affaire, in euery studdie, in euery cogitation leuel∣leth at some certaintie; and alwayes hath an eye to Vse, an eare to good report; a regard to worth, a respect to assu∣rance, and a reference to the end. He that erreth, erreth against Truth, and himselfe: and he that sinneth, sinneth against God, and himselfe: he is none of my charge: it suffiseth me to be the Curate of myne owne actions, the master of mine owne passions, the frend of my frends, the pittyer of my enemies, the loouer of good witts, and ho∣nest mindes, the affectionate seruant of Artes, & Vertues, the humble Oratour of noble Valour, the Commender of the foresaid honorable writinges, or any commendable workes. Reason is no mans tyrant: & Dutie euery mans vassall, that deserueth well. Would this pen were worthy to be the slaue of the worthiest actours, or the bondman of

the aboue-mentioned, and the-like important Autours. Such Mercuriall, and Martiall Discourses, in the actiue, and chiualrous veine; pleade their owne eternall honour: and write euerlasting shame in the forhead of a thousand friuolous, & ten thousand phantasticall Pamflets. I would to Christ, some of them were but idle toyes, or vayne tri∣fles: but impuritie neuer presumed somuch of impunitie: and licentious follie by priuiledge, lewd ribaldrie by per∣mission, and rank villanie by conniuence, are become fa∣mous Autours: not in a popular state, or a petty-principali∣tie, but in a souerain Monarchie, that tendereth politique gouernment, & is to fortifie itselfe against forrein hostilitie. If Wisedome say not, Phie for shame; & Autoritie take not other order in conuenient time: who can tell, what gene∣rall plague may ensue of a speciall infection? or when the kinges-euill is past cure, who can say, we will now heale it? The baddest weede, groweth fastest: and no Gangrene so pregnantly dispreddeth itselfe, as riott. And what riott so pestiferous, as that, which in sugred baites presenteth most poisonous hookes? Sir Skelton, and Master Scoggin, were but Innocents to Signior Capricio, and Monsieur Mad∣nesse: whose pestilent canker 〈◊〉〈◊〉 all the Medicine of Earth, or heauen.

My writing, is but a priuate note for the publique ad∣uertisemēt of some fewe: whose youth asketh instruction, & whose frailtie needeth admonition. In the cure of a can∣ker, it is a generall rule with Surgeōs: It neuer perfectly hea∣leth, vnlesse the rootes and all be vtterly extirped; and the fleshe regenerate. But the soundest Principle is: Principijs obsta: & it goeth best with them, that neuer knewe, what a canker, or leper meant.

I still hoped for some graffes of better fruite: but this

grand Confuter of my Letters, and all honestie, still pro∣ceedeth from worse to worse, from the wilding-tree to the withie, from the dogge to the goate, from the catt to the swine, from Primerose hill to Colman hedge: and is so rooted in deepe Vanitie, that there is no ende of his pro∣found follie. Which deserueth a more famous Encomia∣sticall Oration, then Erasmus renowned Follie: and more gloriously disdaineth any cure, then the Goute. I may answer his hoat rauing in cold termes: and conuince him of what notorious falsehood, or villanie I can: but see the frāke spirite of a full stomack: & who euer was so parlously matched? Were not my simplicitie, or his omnisuficien∣cie exceeding great; I had neuer bene thus terriblie ouer∣challēged. Gabriel, if there be any witt, or industrie in thee, now I will dare it to the vttermost: write of what thou wilt, in what language thou wilt, and I will confute it, and answere it. Take Truthes part, & I will pro•…•…ue truth to be no truth, marching out of thy doung-voiding mouth: & so forth in the brauing tenour of the same redoutable stile. Good Gentlemen, you see the sweet dispositiō of the man; & neede no other window in∣to the closet of his cōscience, but his owne Glosse vpon his owne Text. Whatsoeuer poore I say, in any matter, or in any language, albeit Truth auerr and iustifie the same, he will flatly denie, and confute, euen bicause I say it; & onely bicause in a frolick and dowtie iollitie, he will haue the last word of me. His Grammer, is his Catechisme; Si ais, ne∣go: his stomack, his Dictionarie in any language: and his quarrell, his Logique in any argument: Lucian, Iulian, A∣retin, I protest were you ought else but abhominable Atheists, that I would obstinatly defende you, onely bicause Laureate Gabriel articles against you. Were there not otherwise a marue∣lous oddes, and incomprehensible difference betwixt our

habilities, he would neuer dare me, like a bold Pandare, with such stout challenges, and glorious protestations: but singular wittes haue a great aduantage of simple men: and •…•…unning Falsehood is a mightie confuter of plaine Truth.

No such champion, as he that fighteth obstinatly with the target of Confidence, and the long-sword of Impu∣dence. If any thing extraordinarily emprooueth valour, it is Confidence: and if any thing miraculously singulari∣zeth witt, it is Impudence. Distrust, is a naturall foole: and Modestie, an artificiall foole: he that will exploit wō∣dermentes, and karrie all before him, like a sweepe-stake, must haue a hart of Iron, a forhead of Brasse, and a toung of Adamant. Pelting circumstances, marre braue execu∣tions: looke into the proceedinges of the greatest doers; and what haue they more then other men, but Audacitie, and Fortune?

Audendum est aliquid, Vinclis, & carcere dignum,

Si vis esse aliquid. Simplicitie may haue a gesse at the Principles of the world: and Nashe affecteth to seeme a compound of such Elementes; as bold, as aeger, and as aeger, as a mad dogge. He will confute me, bicause he will: and he can conquer me, bicause he can. If I come vpon him with a gentle reply, he will welcome me with a fierce reioynder: for any my briefe Triplication, he will prouide a Quadruplication at-large: & so forth in infinitū, with an vndauntable courage: for he sweareth, he will ne∣uer leaue me as long as he is hable to lift a penne. Twentie such famous depositions proclaime his dowtie resolution, and indefatigable hand at a pight fielde. Were I to begin a∣gayne, or cold I handsomely deuise to giue him the clean∣ly slipp, I would neuer deale with a sprite of Coleman hedge, or a May-Lord of Primerose hill; that hath all hu∣mours

in his liuerie, & can put conscience in a Vices coate. Na, hee will atchieue impossibilities; and in contempt of my simplicitie, prooue Truth a counterfaict, and him∣selfe a true witnesse of falsest lyes. But Lord, that so in∣uincible a Gentleman should make so solemne account, of confuting, and reconfuting a person of so litle worth in his valuation? Sweet man, what should you thinke of trou∣bling your-selfe with so tedious a course, when you might so blithly haue taken a quicker order, & may yet proceede more compendiously? It had bene a worthy exploit, and beseeming a witt of supererogation, to haue dipped a sopp in a goblet of re•…•…ish wine; and naming it Gabriel, (for you are now growne into great familiaritie with that name) to haue deuoured him vpp at one bit: or taking a pickle her∣ring by the throte, and christening it Richard, (for you cā christen him at your pleasure) to haue swallowed him downe with a stomack. Did you neuer heare of detesta∣ble Iewes, that made a picture of Christ; and then buffet∣ted, cuggelled, scourged, crucified, stabbed, pierced, and mangled the-same most vnmercifully? Now you haue a patterne, I doubt not but you can with a dexteritie, chopp∣of the head of a dead hoony-bee, and boast you haue stric∣ken Iohn, as dead as a doore-nayle. Other spoyle, or vi∣ctorie (by the leaue of the foresaid redoubted daring) will prooue a busie peece of worke for the sonne of a mule, a rawe Grammarian, a brabling Sophister, a counterfaict cranke, a stale rakehell, a piperly rymer, a stump-worne railer, a dodkin autor: whose two swordes, are like the hornes of an hodmandod; whose courage, like the furie of a gad-bee; and whose surmounting brauerie, like the wings of a butterfly. I take no pleasure to call thee an Asse: but thou proouest thi-selfe a Haddock: and although I say

not, Thou art a foole, yet thou wilt needs bewray thy diet, and disgorge thy stomack of the Lobster, and coddeshed, wherewith thou didst englutt thiselfe, since thy notorious surfett of pikle herring, & dogfish. Thou art neither Dor∣bell, nor Duns, nor Thomas of Aquine: they were three sharp∣edged, and quicksented schoolemen, full of nimble witt, and intricate quiddities in their arguing kinde, especially Duns, and Thomas: but by some of thy cauilling Ergos, thou shouldest seeme to be the spawne of Iauell, or Tartaret: & as very a crabfish at an Ergo, as euer crawled-ouer Carters Logique, or the Posteriorums of Iohannes de Lapide. When I looke vpō thy first page (as I daily behold that terrible Em∣prese for a recreation) still methinkes there should come flushing-out the great Atlas of Logique, and Astronomie, that supported the orbes of the heauens by Art: or the mightie Hercules of Rhetorique and Poetrie, that with certaine maruelous fine, and delicate chaines, drewe after him the vassals of the world by the eares. But examin his suttelliest Ergos, & tast his nappiest Inuention, or daintiest Elocution, (he that hath nothing else to do, may hold him∣selfe occupied): and Art will soone finde the huge Behe∣moth of Conceit, to be the sprat of a pickle herring and the hideous Leuiathan of Vainglorie, to be a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 in Witt, a periwinkle in Art, a dandiprat in Industrie, a dod∣kin in Valu; and such a toy of toyes, as euery right Schol∣lar hisseth at in iudgement, and euery fine Gentleman ma∣keth the Obiect of his scorne. He can raile: (what mad Bedlam cannot raile?) but the sauour of his railing, is gro∣sely fell, and smelleth noysomly of the pumpe, or a nastier thing. His gayest floorishes, are but Gascoignes weedes, or Tarletons trickts or Greenes crankes, or Marlowes brauados: his iests but the dregges of cōmon fcurrilitie, or

the shreds of the theater, or the of-scouring of new Pam∣flets: his freshest nippitatie, but the froth of stale inuentiōs, long-since lothsome to quick tastes: his shrouing ware, but lenten stuff, like the old pickle herring: his lustiest verdure, but ranke ordure, not to be named in Ciuilitie, or Rheto∣rique: his only Art, & the vengeable drift of his whole cun∣ning, to mangle my sentences, hack my arguments, chopp and change my phrases, wrinch my wordes, and hale eue∣ry fillable most extremely; euen to the disioynting, and maiming of my whole meaning. O times: ô pastimes: ó mōstrous knauerie. The residue whatsoeuer, hath nothing more in it, then is vsuallie in euery ruffianly Copesmate, that hath bene a Grāmar schollar, readeth riotous bookes, hanteth roisterly companie, delighteth in rude scoffing, & karrieth a desperate minde. Let him be thorowly peru∣sed by any indifferent reader whomsoeuer, that can iudi∣ciously discerne, what is what; and will vprightly cen∣sure him according to his skill, without partialitie pro, or contra: and I dare vndertake, he will affirme no lesse, vp∣on the credit of his iudgement; but will definitiuely pro∣nounce him, the very Baggage of new writers. I could no∣minate the person, that vnder his hand-writing hath stiled him, The cockish challenger, the lewd scribler, the offal of corruptest mouthes, the draff of filthiest pennes, the bag∣pudding of fooles, & the very pudding-pittes of the wise, or honest. He might haue read of foure notable thinges, which many a iollie man weeneth he hath at will, when he hath nothing lesse: much knowledge; sound wisedome; great power; & many frends. And he might haue heard of other foure speciall thinges, that worke the destruction, or confusion of the forwardest practitioners: a headlong de∣sire to know much hastily a greedie thirst to haue much

suddainly; an ouerweening conceit of themselues; and a surly contempt of other. I could peraduēture arread him his fortune in a fatall booke, as verifiable, as peremptorie: but I looue not to insult vpō miserie: & Destinie is a Iudge, whose sentence needeth no other execution, but itselfe. No preuention, but deepe repentance; an impossible re∣medy, where deepe bstinacie is grounded, and high Pre∣sumption aspireth aboue the Moone. Hawtie minds may stie aloft, and hasten their owne ouerthrow: but it is not the wainscott forhead of a Rudhuddibras, that can arreare such an huge opinion, as himselfe in a strong conceit of a mighty conception, seemeth to trauaill withall: as it were with a flying Bladude, attempting wonderments in the Ayre, or a Simon Magus, experimenting impossibilities from the top of the Capitoll. He must either accomplish some greater worke of Supererogation, with actual at∣chieuement, (that is now a principall point): or immorta∣lize himselfe the prowdest Vaine sott, that euer abused the world with foppish ostentation; not in one, or two pages, but in the first, the last, & euery leafe of his Strange Newes. For the end is like the beginning; the midst like both; and euery part like the whole. Railing, railing, railing: brag∣ging, bragging, bragging: and nothing else, but fowle railing vpon railing, and vayne bragging vpon bragging; as rudely, grosely, odiously, filthily, beastly, as euer shamed Print. Vnlesse he meant to sett-vpp a Railing Schoole, and to read a publike Lecture of bragging, as the onely regall professour of that, and that facultie, now other shiftes begin to fayle; I wonder, his owne mouth ca•…•… abide it without many a phah. You haue heard some worthie Premisses: behold a braue conclusion:

Awaite the world, the Tragedy of Wrath:

What next I paint, shall tread no common Path:

with an other doubble Aut, for a gallant Embleme, or a glorious Farewell; Aut nunquam tentes, aut perfice. Subscri∣bed with his owne hand; Thomas Nash. Not expect, or at∣tend, but a wait: not somefew, some few, or the Citty, or the Vni∣uersity, or this Land, or Europe, but the World: not a Co∣medy, or a Declamation, or an Inuectiue, or a Satire, or a∣ny like Elencticall discourse: but a Tragedy, and the very Tragedy of Wrath; that shall dash the direfullest Tragedies of Seneca, Euripides, or Sophocles, out of Conceit. The next peece, not of his Rhetorique, or Poetry, but of his Painture, shall not treade the way to Poules, or Westmin∣ster, or the Royall Exchange; but at least shall perfect the Venus face of Apelles, or sett the world an euerlasting Sample of inimitable artificiality. Other mens writing in prose, or verse, may plodd-on, as before: but his Pamting will now tread Arare Path; and by the way bestow A new Lesson vppon Rhetorique, how to continue a metaphor, or vphold an Allegory with aduauntage. The treading of that rare Path, by that exquisite Painting, (his woorkes are miracles; and his Painting, can treade, like his dauncing, or frisking, no common, but a proper Path) who expecteth not with an attentiue, a seruiceable, a coouetous, a longing ex∣pectation? A wait world: and Apelles tender thy most affectionate deuotion, to learne a wonderfull peece of cu∣rious workemanship, when it shall please his next Painting to tread the path of his most singular singularity. Meane∣while it hath pleased soome sweete wittes of my acquain∣taunce, (whome Heauen hath baptized the Spirites of harmony, and the Muses haue enterteyned for their Para∣mours) to reacquite Sonnets with Sonnets, and to snibb the Thrason•…•…call rimester with Angelical meeter, that may

haply appeere in fitt place: and finely discouer young A∣puleius in his ramping roabe; the fourth Furie in his Tra∣gicall Pageant; the new Sprite in his proper haunt, or but∣try; and the confuting Diuell in the horologe. One She, & two He's haue vowed, they will pumpe his Railing Ink∣horne as dry, as euer was Holborne Conduit: and squise his Craking Quill to as emptie a spunge, as any in Hosier Lane. Which of you, gallāt Gentlemē, hath not stripped his stale Iestes into their thredbare ragges; or so seldome as an hun∣dred times pittied his creast-falne stile, & his socket-worne inuention? Who would haue thought, or could haue i∣magined, to haue found the witt of Pierce, so starued and clunged: the conceit of an aduersarie, so weatherbeaten, and tired: the learning of a schollar, so pore-blind, and lame: the elocutiō of the Diuels Oratour, so lanke, so wan, so meager, so blunt, so dull, so fordead, so gastly, where the masculine Furie meant to play his grisliest, and horri∣blest part? Welfare a good visage in a bad cause: or far∣well Hope, the kindest coosener of forlorne harts. The de∣sperate minde, that assayeth impossibilities in nature, or vndertaketh incredibilities in Art, must be cōtent to speed thereafter. When euery attempt faileth in performance, and euery extremitie foileth the enterpriser, at-last euen Impudencie itselfe must be faine to giue-ouer in the plaine fielde: and neuer yeeld credit to the word of that most cre∣dible Gentlewoman, if the very brasen buckler prooue not finally a notorious Dash-Nash. He summed all in a briefe, but materiall Summe; that called the old Asse, the great A, and the est Amen of the new Supererogation. And were I here cōpelled to dispatch abruptly, (as I am presently cal∣led to a more commodious exercise) should I not sufficiēt∣ly haue discharged my taske; and plentifully haue cōmen∣ded

that famous creature, whose prayse the Title of this Pamflet professeth? He that would honor Alexander, may crowne him the great A. of puissance: but Pyrrhus, Han∣niball, Scipio, Pompey, Caesar, diuers other mightie Con∣querours, & cuē som moderne Worthies would disdaine, to haue him sceptred the est-Amen of Valour. What a braue, and incomparable Alexander, is that great A. that is also the est-Amen of Supererogatiō; a more miraculous and impossible peece of worke, thē the dowtiest puissance, or worthiest valour in the old, or new world? Shall I say, blessed, or peerelesse young Apuleius, that from the swa∣thing bandes of his infancie in Print, was suckled of the sweetestnurses, lulled of the deerest groomes, cockered of the finest miniōs, cowled of the daintiest paramours, hug∣ged of the enticingest darlinges, and more then tenderly tendered of the most delitious Muses, the most-amiable Graces, and the most-powerfull Venues of the said vnmat∣chable great A. the graund founder of Supererogatiō, and sole Patron of such meritorious clients. As for other re∣markable Particulars in the Straunge Newes; Ink is so like Ink, spite so like spite, impudencie so like impudencie, bro∣cage so like brocage, and Tom-Penniles now, so like Papp∣hatchet, when the time was; that I neede but ouerrun an old censure of the One, by way of a new application to the Other. The notes of Martinisme appertaine vnto those, whom they concerne. Pierce would laugh, to be charged with Martinisme, or any Religion: though Martin him∣selfe for a challenging, rufling, and railing: stile, not such a Martin. Two contraries; but two such contraries, as can teach Extremities to play the contraries, and to confound themselues.

Papp-hatchet, desirous for his benefit, to currie fauour

with a noble Earle; and in defect of other meanes of Com∣mendatiō, labouring to insinuate himselfe by smooth glo∣sing, & coūterfait suggestiōs, (it is a Courtlyfeate, to snatch the least occasioner of aduantage, with a nimble dexteri∣tie); some yeares since prouoked me, to make the best of it, inconsideratly; to speake like a frend, vnfrendly; to say, as it was, intolerably; without priuate cause, or any reason in the world: (for in truth I looued him, in hope praysed him; many wayes fauored him, and neuer any way offen∣ded him): and notwithstanding that spitefull prouocatiō, and euen that odious threatening of ten yeares prouision, he had euer passed vntouched with any sillable of reuenge in Print, had not Greene, and this dog-fish, abhominably misused the verbe passiue; as should appeare, by his pro∣curement, or encouragement, assuredly most vndeserued, and most iniurious. For what other quarrel, could Greene, or this dogge-fish euer picke with me: whom I neuer so much as twitched by the sleeue, before I founde miselfe, and my dearest frendes, vnsufferably quipped in most con∣tumelious, and opprobrious termes. But now there is no remedie, haue amongest you, blind Harpers of the Prin∣ting house: for I feare not six hundred Crowders, were all your wittes assembled in one capp of Vanitie, or all your galles vnited in one bladder of choler. I haue lost more la∣bour, then the transcripting of this Censure: which I de∣dicate neither to Lord, nor Lady, but to Truth, and Ae∣quitie; on whose souerain Patronage Irelye.

An Aduertisement for Pap-hatchet, and Martin Mar-prelate.

PAp-hatchet (for the name of thy good nature is pittyfully growen out-of re∣quest) thy olde acquaintance in the Sa∣uoy, when young Euphues hatched the egges, that his elder freendes laide, (surely Euphues was someway a pretty fellow: would God, Lilly had alwaies bene Euphues, and neuer Pap-hatchet;) that old acquain∣tance, now somewhat straungely saluted with a new re∣membrance, is neither lullabied with thy sweete Papp, nor scarre-crowed with thy sower hatchet. And although in selfe-conceit thou knowest not thy selfe, yet in experience, thou mightest haue knowen him, that can Vnbutton thy vanity, and Vnlase thy folly: but in pitty spareth thy chil∣dish simplicity, that in iudgement scorneth thy roisterly brauery; and neuer thought so basely of thee, as since thou began'st to disguise thy witt, and disgrace thy arte with ruffianly foolery. He winneth not most abroad, that wee∣neth most at-home: and in my poore fancy, it were not greatly amisse, euen for the pertest, and gayest compa∣nions, (notwithstanding whatsoener courtly holly-water, or plausible hopes of preferment) to deigne their olde fa∣miliars the continuance of their former courtesies, with∣out contempt of the banainest giftes or empeachment of the meanest persons. The 〈◊〉〈◊〉 man in a parish, is a

shrewd foole; and Humanity an Image of Diuinity; that pulleth-downe the hawty, and setteth-vp the meeke. Eu∣phues, it is good to bee merry: and Lilly, it is good to bee wise: and Papp-hatchet, it is better to loose a new iest, then an olde frend; that can cramme the capon with his owne Papp, and hewe-downe the woodcocke with his owne hatchet. Bolde men, and marchant Venturers haue some∣time good lucke: but happ-hazard hath oftentimes good leaue to beshrow his owne pate; and to imbarke the hardy foole in the famous Shipp of wisemen. I cannot stand no∣sing of Candlestickes, or euphuing of Similes, alla Sauoica: it might happly be done with a trice: but euery man hath not the guift of Albertus Magnus: rare birdes are dainty; and they are queint creatures, that are priuiledged to create new creatures. When I haue a mint of precious stones; & straunge Foules, beastes, and fishes of mine owne coyning, (I could name the party, that in comparison of his owne naturall Inuentions, tearmed Pliny a barraine woombe;) I may peraduenture blesse you with your owne crosses, & pay you with the vsury of your owne coyne. In the meane while beare with a plaine man, as plaine as olde Accursius, or Barthol de Saxoferrato; that wil make his Censure good vpon the carrion of thy vnsauory, and stincking Pamflett; a fitt booke to bee ioyned with Scoggins woorkes, or the French Mirrour of Madnesse. The very Title discouereth the wisedome of the young-man: as an olde Fox not long since bewrayed himselfe by a flap of his taile; and a Lion, they say, is soone descried by his pawe; a Cocke by his combe; a Goat by his bearde; an Asse by his eare; a wise∣man by his tale; an artist by his tearmes.

Papp with an hatchet: aliàs, A Figg for my God-sonne: or, Cracke me this nutt: or, a Country Cuffe,

that is, A sound boxe of the care, & caetera. Written by one, that dares call a Dog a Dog. Imprinted by Iohn Anoke, and Iohn Astile, for the Bayly of Withernam, Cum priuilegio perennitatis: And are to be sold at the signe of the Crabbtree Cudgell in Thwacke-coate Lane.

What deuise of Martin, or what inuention of any o∣ther, could haue sett a fairer Orientall Starre vpon the for∣head of that foule libell? Now you see the brande, and know the Blackamore by his face, turne ouer the leafe; and by the wittinesse of his first sentence, aime at the rest. Milke is like milke: hoony like hoony: Papp like papp: and hee like himselfe; in the whole anotable ruffler, and in euery part a dowty braggard. Roome for a roister: so thats well said: itch a little further for a good fellow: now haue at you all, my gaffers of the rayling religion: tis I, that must take you a pegg lower. Ile make such a splinter runne into your wittes: and so foorth in the same lusty tenour. A very artificiall begin∣ning, to mooue attention, or to procure good-liking in the reader: vnlesse he wrote onely to roister-doisters, & hack∣sters, or at-least to iesters, and vices. Oh, but in his Pream∣ble to the indifferent reader, he approueth himselfe a mar∣ueilous discreet, and modest man of the soberest sort, were he not prouoked in conscience, to aunsweare contrary to his nature, and manner. You may see, how graue men may be made light, to defend the Church. I perceiue, they were wise, that at riotous times, when youth was wanton∣nest, and knauery lustiest, as in Christmas, at Shrofetide, in May, at the ende of Haruest, and by such wilde fittes, crea∣ted a certaine extraordinary Officer, called a Lord of Mis∣rule, as a needefull gouernour, or Dictatour, to set thinges in order; and to rule vnruly people; with whome other∣wise

there were no Ho. So, when Reuell-rout beginneth to be a current Autour; or Hurly-burly a busy Promotour: roome for a roister, that will bore them thorough the noses with a cushion; that will bung-vp their mouthes with a Collyrium of all the stale iestes in a country; that will suf∣fer none to play the Rex, but himselfe. For that is the very depth of his plot: and who euer began with more roister∣ly tearmes; or proceeded with more ruffianly scoffes; or concluded with more hairebrain'd trickes; or wearied his reader with more thread-bare iestes; or tired himselfe with more weather-beaten cranckes? What scholler, or gentle∣man, can reade such alehouse and tinkerly stuffe without blushing? They were much deceiued in him, at Oxford, and in the Sauoy, when Master Absolon liued; that tooke him onely for a dapper & deft companion, or a pert-con∣ceited youth, that had gathered-togither a fewe prettie sentences, and could handsomly helpe young Euphues to an old Simile: & neuer thought him any such mighty doer at the sharpe. Bur Ile, Ile, Ile, is a parlous fellow at a hat∣chett: hese like Death: hele spare none: hele showe them an I∣rish tricke: hele make them weepe Irish: hese good at the sticking blow: his Posie, what care I? Vie stabbes, good Ecclesiasticall learning in his Apologie; and good Christian charitie in his Homilie. Muster his arrant braueries togither: and where such a terrible killcowe, or such a vengeable bull∣beggar to deal withall? O dreadfull dubble V that carriest the dubble stoccado in thy penne, what a dubble stabber woldest thou be, were thy hand as tall a fellow, as thy hart, or thy witt as lustie a ladd, as thy minde? Other good fel∣lowes may tell Tales of Gawin: thou art Sir Gawin re∣uiued, or rather Terrour in person. Yet shall I putt a beane into Gawins ratling scull: and tell thee, where thy

slashing Long-sword commeth short? Thou professest Railing; and emproouest thiselfe in very deede an egregi∣ous Railer, as disdaining to yeelde vnto any He, or She Scolde of this age: but what saith my particular Analysis? Dubble V is old-excellent at his Cornucopiae; and I war∣rant you, neuer to seeke in his Horne-booke: but debarre thossame horeson Tales of a tubb; and put him beside his Horning, Gaming, Fooling, and Knauing: and he is no boddy, but a fewe pilfred Similes; a little Pedanticall La∣tin; and the highest pitch of his witt, Bulles motion, aliàs the hangmans apron. His Ryme, forestalled by Elder∣ton, that hath Ballats lying a steepe in ale: his Reason, by a Cambrige wagg, a twigging Sophister, that will Ergo Martin into an ague, and concludeth peremptorily, Ther∣fore Tiburne must be furr'd with Martins: nothing left for the Third disputer, but Railing thorough all the moodes, and figures of knauerie, as they come fresh, and fresh to his hand. All three iumpe in eodem tertio: nothing but a cer∣taine exercise, termed hanging, will serue their turne: (if it be his destinie, what remedie?) they must draw cuttes, who shall play the Hangeman: and that is the argument of the Tragedie, and the very papp of the hatchet. These are yet all the Common-places of his great Paper-boke, & the whole Inuentarie of his witt: though in time he may haply learne to play at ninehole-nidgets; or to canuas a li∣uerie flowt thorough all the Predicaments of the fower, & twentie orders. When I first tooke a glancing vewe of Ile, Ile, Ile, & durst scarsely, be so hardy, to looke the hatchet in the face: methought his Imagination, was hedded like a Saracen; his stomack bellyed, like the great Globe of O∣rontius; & his breath, like the blast of Boreas in the great Mapp of Mercator. But when we began to renue our old

acquaintance, and to shake the handes of discontinued fa∣miliaritie, alas good Gentleman; his mandillion was ouer∣cropped; his witt paunched, like his wiues spindle; his art shanked, like a lath; his conceit as lank, as a shotten her∣ring; and that same blustering eloquence, as bleake, and wan, as the Picture of a forlorne Loouer. Nothing, but pure Mammaday, and a fewe morsels of fly-blowne Eu∣phuisme, somewhat nicely minced for puling stomackes. But there be Painters enough, though I goe roundly to worke: and it is my onely purpose, to speake to the pur∣pose. I long sithence founde by experience, how Dran∣ting of Verses, and Euphuing of sentences, did edifie. But had I consulted with the Prognostication of Iohn Securis, I might peraduenture haue saued some loose endes for af∣terclapps. Now his nephew Hatchet must be content to accept of such spare intertainement, as he findeth.

It was Martins folly, to begin that cutting vaine: some others ouersight, to continue it: and doubble V^s. triumph, to set it agogg. If the world should applaude to such roi∣sterdoisterly Vanity, (as Impudency hath beene prettily suffered to sett-vpp the creast of his vaineglory:) what good could grow of it, but to make cuery man madbray∣ned, and desperate; but a generall contempt of all good order, in Saying, or Dooing; but an Vniuersal Topsy-tur∣uy? He were a very simple Oratour, a more simple politi∣cian, and a most-simple Deuine, that should fauour Marti∣nizing: but had I bene Martin, (as for a time I was vainely suspected by such madd Copesmates, that can surmize a∣ny thing for their purpose, howsoeuer vnlikely, or mon∣strous:) I would haue beene so farre from being mooued by such a fantasticall Confuter, that it should haue beene one of my May-games, or August-triumphes, to haue

driuen Officials, Commissaries, Archdeacons, Deanes, Chauncellors, Suffraganes, Bishops, and Archbishops, (so Martin would haue florished at the least) to entertaine such an odd light-headded fellow for their defence; a professed iester, a Hick-scorner, a scoff-maister, a playmunger, an In∣terluder; once the foile of Oxford, now the stale of Lon∣don, and euer the Apesclogg of the presse, Cum Priuilegio perennitatis. Had it not bene a better course, to haue follo∣wed Aristotles doctrine: and to haue confuted leuity with grauity, vanity with discretion, rashnes with aduise, mad∣nesse with sobriety, fier with water, ridiculous Martin with reuerend Cooper? Especially in Ecclesiasticall causes: where it goeth hard, when Scoggin, the Iouiall foole, or Skelton the Malancholy foole, or Elderton the bibbing foole, or Will Sommer the chollericke foole, must play the feate; and Church-matters cannot bee discussed without rancke scurrillity, and as it were a Synode of Diapason fooles. Some few haue a ciuill pleasant vaine, and a daine∣ty splene without scandale: some such percase might haue repayed the Marr-prelate home to good purpose: other obscenity, or vanity confuteth itselfe, and impeacheth the cause. As good forbeare an irregular foole, as beare a foole heteroclitall: and better abide a comparatiue knaue, that pretendeth religion, then suffer a knaue superlatiue, that setteth cocke on hoope. Serious matters would be hande∣led seriously, not vpon simplicity, but vppon choice; nor to flesh, or animate, but to disgrace, and shame Leuity. A glicking Pro, and a frumping Contra, shall haue much-adoe to shake handes in the Ergo. There is no ende of gird•…•…s, & bobbes: it is sound Argumentes, and grounded Authori∣ties, that must strike the definitiue stroke, and decide the controuersy, with mutuall satisfaction. Martin bee wise,

though Browne were a foole: & Papp-hatchet be honest, though Barrow be a knaue: it is not your heauing, or hoi∣sing coile, that buildeth-vpp the walles of the Temple. Alas poore miserable desolate most-woefull Church, had it no other builders, but such architects of their owne fan∣tasies, and such maisons of infinite contradiction. Time, in∣formed by secrcte intelligence, or resolued by curious di∣scouery, spareth no cost, or trauaile, to preuent Mischiefe: but employeth her two woorthy Generals, Knowledge, & Industry, to cleere the coast of vagarant errours in Do∣ctrine; and to scoure the sea of rouing conuptions in Di∣scipline. Roome was not reared-vpp in one day; nor can∣not be pulled downe in one day. A perfect Ecclesiasticall Discipline, or autentique Pollicy of the Church, (that may auowe, I haue neither more, nor lesse, then enough; but iust the nomber, weight, and measure of exact gouerne∣ment) is not the worke of One man whosoeuer, or of one age whatsoeuer: it requireth an incredible-great iudge∣ment: exceeding-much reading in Ecclesiastical histories, Councels, Decrees, Lawes: long, and ripe practise in Church-causes. Platformes offer themselues to euery wor∣king conceit; and a few Tables, or Abridgements are soone dispatched: but, whatsoeuer pretext may coulerably bee alledged, vndoubtedly they attempt, they know not what, and enterprise aboue the possibility of their reach, that ima∣gine they can in a Pamflet, or two, contriue such an omni∣sufficient, and incorruptible Method of Ecclesiasticall go∣uernement, as could not by any priuate meditation, or pu∣blike occasion be found-out, with the studdy, or practise of fifteene hundred yeeres. I am not to dispute, as a professed Deuine; or to determine, as a seuere Consour: but a schol∣ler may deliuer his opinion with reason; and a frend may

lend his aduise at occasion: especially when hee is vrged to speake, or suspected for silence. They must licence mee to dissent from them, that autorise thēselues to disagree from fo many notable, and woorthy men, in the common repu∣tation of so long a space. They condemne superstitious, & credulous simplicity: it were a fond simplicity to defende it, where it swarueth from the Trueth, or strayeth out of the way: but discretion can as little commend opiniotiue and preiudicate assertions, that striue for a needelesse, and daungerous Innouation. It is neither the Excesse, nor the Defect, but the Meane, that edifyeth. Superstition, and Credulitie, are simple Creatures: but what are Contempt, and Tumult? What is the principall cause of this whole Numantine Warre, but affectation of Nouelty, without ground? If all without exception, from the very schollers of the Primitiue, and heroical schoole, wanted knowledge, or zeale: how rare, and singular are their blessinges, that haue both, in so plentifull, and incomparable measure? As∣suredly there were many excellent witts, illuminate minds, and deuout soules before them: if nothing matchable with them, what greater Maruell in this age? Or if they were not rightly disciplined, that liued so Vertuously, and Chri∣stianly togither; what an inestimable treasure is founde, & what a cleere fountaine of holy life? Where are godly minds become, that they embrace not that sacred societie? What aile Religious handes, that they stay from building∣vpp the Cittie of God? Can Platos Republique, and Mores Vtopia winne hartes: and cannot the heauenly Hierusalem conquer soules? Can there be a greater impie∣tie, then to hinder the rearing-vp of those celestiall walles? why forgetteth the grose Church, that it ought to be the pure kingdome of heauen? To zeale, euen speede is de∣lay;

and a yeare, an age. But how maturely, and iudici∣ously some busie motions haue bene considered-vpon by their hoat sollicitours, it would not passe vnexamined. A strong Discipline standeth not vpon feeble feete: and a weake foundation will neuer beare the weight of a migh∣tie Hierusalem. The great shoulders of Atlas oftentimes shrinke and saint vnder the great burden of heauen. The Tabernacle of Moses; the Temple of Salomon; the Gol∣den Age of the Primitiue Church; and the siluer regiment of Constantine, would be looked-into, with a sharper, and cleerer eye. The difference of Commonwealthes, or regi∣ments, requireth a difference oflawes, and orders: and those lawes, and orders are most souerain, that are most agreable to the regiment, and best proportioned to the Commonwealth. The matter of Elections, and offices, is a principall matter in question: and how many not one∣ly ignorant, or curious, but learned, and considerate wits, haue lost themselues, and founde errour, in the discourse of that subiect? But how compendiously might it be con∣cluded, that is so infinitly argued; or how quietly decided, that is so tumultuously debated? I relye not vpon the vn∣certaintie of disputable rules; or the subtilitie of intricate arguments; or the ambiguitie of doubtfull allegations; or the casualtie of fallible experiments: but grounde my re∣solution vpon the assurance of such politique, and Eccle∣siasticall Principles, as in my opinion can neither be decei∣ued grosely, nor deceiue dangerously. Popular Elections, and offices, aswell in Churches, as in Commonwealthes, are for popular states: Monarchies, and Aristocraties, are to celebrate their elections, and offices, according to their forme of gouernement, and the best correspondence of their states, Ciuill, and Ecclesiasticall: and may iustifie

their good proceeding by good diuinitie. As they graue∣ly, and religiously prooued, that in the florishing propa∣gation, and mightie encrease of the Catholique Church vnder Princes, before, in, and after the Empire of Con∣stātine, were driuen to varie from some primitiue Exāples: not by vnlawfull corruptiō, as is ignorātly surmised; but by lawfull prouisiō, according to the exigence of occasions, & necessitie of alteration in those ouerruling cases: as appea∣reth by pregnant euidence of Ecclesiasticall histories, and Canons; wherewith they are to consult, that affect a deepe insight in the decisiō of such controuersies; & not to leape at all aduentures, before they haue looked about thē, aswell backward, as forward, & aswell of the one side, as of the o∣ther. Consideration, is a good Counsellour: & Reading, no badd Remēbrancer; especially, in the most essentiall Common-places of Doctrine, and the most important matters of Gouernement. Ignorance may someway be the father ofZeale, as it was wont to be termed the moother of De∣uotion: but blind men swallow-downe many flyes; and none more, then many of them, that imagin they know all, and conceit an absolute omnisufficiencie in their owne platformes, with an vniuersall contempt of whatsoeuer contradiction, speciall, or generall, moderne, or auncient: when vndoubtedly they are to seeke in a thousand points of requisite, and necessarie consideration. Lord, that men should so please, and flatter themselues in their owne de∣uises: as if none had eyes, but they. God neuer bestowed his diuine giftes in vayne: they are not so lightly to be re∣iected, that so grauely demeaned themselues, instructed their brethren, reclaimed infidels, conuerted countryes, planted Churches, confounded Heretiques, and inces∣santly trauailed in Gods causes, with the whole deuotion

of their soules: howsoeuer some can be content to thinke, that since the Apostles, none euer had the spirit of Vnder∣standing, or the mindes of sincerity, but themselues. Par∣don me pure intelligences, and incorruptible mindes. The auncient Fathers, and Doctors of the Church, wanted nei∣ther learning, nor iudgement, nor conscience, nor zeale: as some of their Greeke, and Latine woorkes very notably declare: (if they were blinde, happy men that see:) and what wiser Senates, or hollyer Congregations, or any way more reuerend assemblies, then some Generall, and some Prouinciall Councels? Where they to a superficiall opi∣nion, seeme to sett-vp a Glosse, against, or beside the Text; it would bee considered, what their considerations were; and whether it can appeare, that they directly, or indirect∣ly proceeded without a respectiue regard of the Commō∣wealth, or a tender care of the Church, or a reuerend exa∣mination of that Text. For I pray God, we loue the Text no worse, from the bottome of our hartes, then some of them did. They are not the simplest, or dissolutest men, that thinke, Discretion might haue leaue to cutt his coate according to his cloth; and commend their humility, pa∣tience, wisdome, and whole conformity, that were ready to accept any requisite order not vnlawfull, and to admitt any decent, or seemely rites of indifferent nature. Put the case, iust as it was then, and in those countries; and what if some suppose, that euen M. Caluin, M. Beza, M. Meluin, or M. Cartwright, (notwithstanding their new deseigne∣mentes) being in the same estate, wherein they were then, and in those countries, would haue resolued no otherwise in effect, then they determined. Or if they did not so per∣fectly well, I pray God we may. Howbeit none so fitt to reconcile contradictions, or to accord differences, as hee

that distinguisheth Times, Places, Occasions, and other swaying Circumstances; high pointes in gouernement, either Ciuill, or Ecclesiasticall. As in the doubtfull Para∣graphs, and Canons of the Law of man; so in the mysticall oracles of the Law of God; Qui benè distinguit, benè docet: in the one, when hee vseth no distinction but of the Law, or some reason equipollent to the Law: in the other, when he interpreteth the scripture by the scripture, either ex∣presly by conference of Text with Text, or collectiuely by the rule of Analogy. In cases indifferent, or arbitrary, what so equall in generall, as Indifferency: or so requisite in speciall, as conformity to the positiue I awe, to the cu∣stome of the Countrey, or to the present occasion? To be peruerse, or obstinate without necessary cause, is a peeuish folly: when by such a duetyfull, and iustifiable order of proceeding, as by a sacred League, so infinite Variances, and contentions may be compounded. To the cleane, all thinges are cleane. S. Paule, that layed his foundation like a wise architect, and was a singular frame of diuinity, (om∣nisufficiently furnished to be a Doctour of the Nations, & a Conuertour of People) became all vnto all, and as it were a Christian Mercury, to winne some. Oh, that his Know∣ledge, or Zeale were as rife, as his Name: and I would to God, some could learne to behaue themselues toward Princes, and Magistrates, as Paul demeaned himselfe, not onely before the King Agrippa, but also before the twoo Romane Procuratours of that Prouince, Felix, and Festus: whome he entreated in honourable termes, albeit ethnicke gouernours. Were none more scrupulous, then S. Paul, how easily, and gratiously might diuers Confutations bee reconciled, that now rage, like Ciuill Warres? The chie∣fest matter in question, is no article of beliefe, but a point of

pollicy, or gouernement: wherein a Iudiciall Equity being duely obserued, what letteth but the particular Lawes, Or∣dinances, Iniunctions, and whole manner of Iurisdiction, may rest in the disposition of Soueraine Autoritie? Whose immediate, or mediate actes, are to be reuerenced with O∣bedience, not countermaunded with sedition, or contro∣led with contention. He is a bold subiect, that attempteth to binde the handes of sacred Maiesty: and they loue con∣trouersies well, I trow, that call their Princes proceedinges into Controuersie. Altercations, and Paradoxes, aswell in Discipline, as in Doctrine, were neuer so curiously curious, or so infinitely infinite: but when all is done, and when In∣nouation hath sett the best countenance of proofe, or per∣suasion, vpon the matter; Kingdomes will stand, and Free-Citties must be content. Their Courts, are no Presidents for Royall Courts: their Councels, no instructions for the Councels of Kings, or Queenes: their Consistories, that would master Princes, no informations for the Consisto∣ries vnder Princes: their Discipline, no Canon, or plat∣forme for soueraine gouernement, either in Causes Tem∣porall, or Spirituall. And can you blame them, that mar∣uell, how of all other Tribunals, or benches, that Iewish Synedrion, or Pontificall Consistory should so exceeding∣ly grow in request, that put Christ himselfe to death, and was a whipp for his deerest Apostles? I am loth to enter the listes of argumentation, or discourse, with any obstinate minde, or violent witt, that weeneth his owne Conceit, a cleere Sunne without Eclipse, or a full Moone without wanes: but sith Importunacy will neuer linne molesting Parliaments, and Princes, with Admonitions, Aduertise∣ments, Motions, Petitions, Repetitions, Sollicitations, Declamations, Discourses, Methods, Flatteries, Menaces,

and all possible instant meanes of enforcing, and extorting the present Practise of their incorruptible Theorie; it would be som-bodies taske, to hold them alittle occupied, till a greater Resolution begin to subscribe, & a surer Pro∣uision to execute. May it therefore please the busiest of those, that debarre Ecclesiasticall persons of all Ciuill iuris∣diction, or temporall function, to consider; how euery pettie Parish, in England, to the number of about 52000. more, or lesse, may be made a Ierusalem, or Metropolitan Sea, like the noblest Cittie of the Orient, (for so Pliny cal∣leth Ierusalem): how euery Minister of thesayd Parishes, may be promoted to be an high Priest, and to haue a Pon∣tificall Consistorie: how euery Assistant of that Consisto∣rie, may emprooue himselfe an honorable, or worshipfull Senior, according to his reuerend calling: (for not onely the Princes of Families, or the Princes of Tribes, but the Princes of Citties, or Iudges, the Decurions, the Quin∣quagenarians, the Centurions, the Chiliarkes, were infe∣riour Officiers to the Seniors): how a Princely, and Capitall Court, and euen the high Councell of Parlament, or su∣preme Tribunall of a Royall Cittie, (for there was no Se∣niorie in Iudaea, but at Ierusalem; sauing when the Pro∣consul Gabinius in a Romane Pollicy deuided that nation into fiue parts, and appointed foure other Consistories), how such a Princely, and stately Court, should be the pat∣terne of a Presbitery in a poore Parish: how the Principalitie, or Pōtificalitie of a Minister according to the degenerate Sa∣nedrim, should be sett-vpp, when the Lordship of a Bishop, or Archbishop, according to their position, is to be pulled∣downe: finally how the supremacie ouer Kings, and Empe∣rours should be taken from the highest Priest, or Pope, to be bestowed vpon an ordinarie Minister, or Curate: and

how that Minister should dispense with Aristotles Law of instrumēts, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉: or become more mighty then Hercu∣les, that could not encounter two charges attonce: or at-least how that Ciuil Court, that meere Ciuill Court, (for so it was; before it declined frō the first institutiō; euen as meerly ci∣uill, as the Romane Senate) should be transformed into a Court meerly Ecclesiasticall. When these points are conside∣red; if withall it be determined by euidēt demōstration, as cleere as the Sunne, and as inuincible as Gods-word, that whatsoeuer the Apostles did for their time, is immutably perpetuall, and necessarie for all times: and that nothing by way of speciall respect, or present occasiō, is left to the ordi∣naunce, dispositiō, or prouisiō of the Church, but the strict and precise practise of their Primitiue Discipline, accor∣ding to some Precepts in S. Paules Epistles, and a few Ex∣amples in the Actes of the Apostles: So be it, must be the suffrage of vs, that haue no Voyce in the Sanedrim. All is concluded in afewe pregnant propositions: we shall not neede to trouble, or entangle our wittes with many Arti∣cles, Iniunctions, Statutes, or other ordinances: the Ge∣nerall, Prouinciall, and Episcopall Councels, lost much good labour in their Canons, Decrees, and whatsoeuer Ecclesiasticall Constitutions: the workes of the fathers, and Doctours, howsoeuer auncient, learned, or Ortho∣doxall, are little, or nothing worth: infinite studdies, wri∣tings, commentaries, treatises, conferences, consultations, disputations, distinctions, conclusions of the most-notable Schollers in Christendome, altogither superfluous. Well∣worth afewe resolute Aphorismes; that dispatch more in a word, then could be boulted-out in fiften hundred yeares; and roundly determine all with an Vpsy-downe. No refor∣mation without an Vpsy-downe. In deede that is one of

Machiauels Positions: and seing it is prooued a peece of sound doctrine, it must not be gain-sayd. Euery head, that hath a hand, pull-downe the pride of Bishops, and set vp the humilitie of Ministers. Diogenes treade vpon Platos pompe. An vniuersall reformation be proclaimed with the sounde of a Iewes-trumpe: let the Pontificall Consi∣storie be erected in euery Parish: let the high Priest, or Archbishop of euery Parish, be enstalled in Moses chaier, (it was Moses, not Aarons Chayer, that they challenge in their Senate: & he must be greater then Hercules, that can fulfill both). let the Ministerie be a Royall Priesthood; and uery Minister within the precinct of his territorie, and the dominiō of his Segniorie, raigne like a Presbiter Iohn: let it euerlastingly be recorded for a souerain Rule, as deare as a Iewes eye, that Iosephus alledgeth out-of the Law; Nihil agat Rex, sine Pontificis, & Sentorum sententia. One∣ly let thesayd Pontife beware, he prooue not a great Pope in a little Roome; or discouer not the humour of aspiring Stukely, that would rather be the king of a moulhill, then the second in Ireland, or England. Some Stoiques, and melancholie persons haue a spice of ambition by them∣selues: and euen Iunius Brutus the first, was somway a kinde of Tarquinius Superbus: and Iunius Brutus the second, is not altogither a mortified Creature, but bewrayeth as it were some reliques of fleshe, and bloud, aswell as his in∣wardest frend Eusebius Philadelphus. I dare come no nee∣rer: yet Greenwood, and Barrow begin already to com∣plaine of surly, and solemne brethren: and God knoweth, how that Pontificall chayer of estate, might worke in man, as he is man. Mercurie sublimed, is some what a coy, and stout fellow: and I beleeue, those high, and mighty Peeres, would not sticke, to looke for a low, and humble legge.

Euery man must haue his due in his place: and honour a∣liably belongeth to redoubted Seniours. That is their pro∣per title at Geneua. Now if it seeme as cleere a case in Pol∣licie, as in Diuinitie; that one, and the same Discipline may serue diuers, and contrarie formes of regiment; and be as fitt for the head of England, as for the soote of Geneua: the worst is, Aristotles Politiques must be burned for here∣tiques. But how happie is the age, that in stead of a thou∣sand Positiue Lawes, and Lesbian Canons, hath founde one standing Canon of Polycletus, an immutable Law of sacred gouernement? And what a blissefull destinie had the Commonwealth, that must be the Modell of all other Commonwealthes, and the very Center of the Christian world? Let it be so for euer, and euer, if that Pamflet of the Lawes, and Statutes of Geneua, aswell concerning Ecclesiasti∣call Discipline, as Ciuill regiment; deserue any such sin∣gular, or extraordinarie estimation, either for the one, or for the other. If not; are they not busie men, that will needes beare a rule, and strike a maine stroke, where they haue nothing to doe, or are to be ruled? It were a good hearing in my eare, that some of them could gouerne themselues, but in reasonable wise sort, that are so forward to swey kingdomes, and to swing Churches after their new fashion; and can stande vpon no grounde, but their owne. If certaine of them be godlyer, or learneder, then many other, (according to their fauorablest reputation,) it is the better for them: I would also, they were wiser, then some of them, whom they impugne. Surely I feare, they will be founde more peremptorie in Censure, then sounde in Iudgement; and more smart in reproofe, then sharpe in proofe. And may it not be a probable doubt, how they haue compared togither the Law of Gods people, and the

Gospell of Christes Church in the Bible: or how they haue studdied Iosephus, Philo, & Egesippus of the Iewish affaires; or Sigonius of the Hebrue Commonwealth; or Freigius his Mosaicus; or their owne Bonauentura of the Iudaicall Pol∣licy; that fetch their Iurisdiction from the Sanedrim cor∣rupted; and ground their Reformation vpon the Iewes Thalmud, the next neighbour to the Turkes Alcoran. Had Ramus Treatise of Discipline come to light; they would long-ere-this haue beene ashamed of their Sanedrim, and haue blushed to foist-in the Thalmud, in steede of the Bi∣ble. God helpe poore Discipline, if the water bee like the Conduit, the Oile like the Lampe, and the Plant like the Tree. Abraham was the beginning: Dauid the middest: and Christ the ende of the Hebrue history: his Gospell, not his ennemies Thalmud, the pure fountaine of refor∣mation, and the onely cleere resplendishing Sunne, that giueth light to the starres of heauen, & earth; vnto which the Church, his most deere and sweete spouse, is more deepely, and more incomprehensibly bounden, then the day vnto the Sunne, that shineth from his glistering cha∣riot. It is not for a Pontificall Seniory or a Mechanicall Eldership, to stopp the course of any riuer, that successiue∣ly floweth from that liquid fountaine: or to putt-out any Candle, that was originally lighted at that inextinguible Lampe. The Church hath small cause, to dote vppon the Coosen-germane of Tyranny: and the Commonwealth hath no great affection to the Sworn-brother of Anarchy. Certainely States neede not long to interteine tumultu∣ous, and neuer-satisfied Innouation. Good my masters, either make it an euident, and infallible case, without so∣phisticall wrangling, or personall brawling; that your vn∣experienced Discipline, not the order approoued, is the

pure well of that diuine Spring, and the cleere light of that heauenly Sunne: or I beseech you, pacifie yourselues, and surcease to endaunger kingdomes with vnneedefull vp∣rores. Crooked proceedings would be rectified by a right, not a crooked line: and Abuses reformed, not by abuling the persons, but by well-vsing the things thēselues. I spare my auncients, aswell at home as abroade: yet Beza might haue bene good to some Doctours of the Church; and better then he is, to Ramus, Erastus, Kemnitius, and sun∣dry other excellent men of this age: (neither can it suffici∣ently appeare, that the two famous Lawyers, Gribaldus, and Baldwinus, were such monstrous Apostataes, or poy∣sonous Heretiques, as he reporteth): and whither some o∣ther, neerer hand, haue not bene too-familiarly bold with their Superiours, of approoued learning, and wisedome, meete for their reuerend, and honorable calling; my bet∣ters Iudge.

Modesty is a Ciuil Vertue, and Humility a Christian quality: surely Martin is too too-malapert, to be discreet; and Barrow too too-hoat, to bee wise: if they bee godly, God help Charity: but in my opiniō they little wot, what a Chaos of disorders, confusions, & absurdities they breed, that sweat to build a reformation in a monarchy, vpon a popular foundation, or a mechanicall plott; & will needes be as fiery in execution, euen to wring the Clubb out-of Hercules hand, as they were aëry in resolution. Alas, that wise men, and reformers of states (I know not a weightier Prouince) should once imagine, to finde it a matter of as light consequence, to seniorise in a realme, ouer the grea∣test Lordes, and euen ouer the highnesse of Maiestie; as in a towne, ouer a company of meane marchantes, and mea∣ner artificers. I will not sticke, to make the best of it. M.

Caluin, the founder of the plott, (whome Beza stileth the great Caluin) had reason to establish his ministery against Inconstancy, and to fortify himselfe against Faction, (as he could best deuise, and compasse with the assistance of his French party, and other fauorites) by encroaching vp∣on a mechanicall, and mutinous people, from whose va∣riable and fickle mutability he could no otherwise assecure himselfe. As he sensibly found not onely by dayly expe∣riences of their giddy and factious nature, but also by his owne expulsion, and banishment: whome after a little triall, (as it were for a dainety nouelty, or sly experiment) they could be content to vse as kindly, and loyally, as they had vsed the old Bishopp, their lawfull Prince. Could M. Cartwright, or M. Trauerse seaze vpon such a Citty, or a∣ny like popular towne, Heluetian, or other, where Demo∣craty ruleth the rost: they should haue some-bodies good leaue to prouide for their owne fecurity; and to take their best aduauntage vppon tickle Cantons. Some one perad∣uenture in time would canton them well-enough; & giue a shrewd pull at a Metropolitan Sea, as soueraine, as the old Bishoprike of Geneua. It were not the first time, that a De∣mocraty by degrees hath prooued an Aristocraty; an Ari∣stocraty degenerated into an Oligarchy; an Oligarchy a∣mounted to a Tyranny, or Principality. No Rhetorique Climax so artificiall, as that Politique Gradation. But in a iust kingdome, where is other good assuraunce for Mini∣sters, and meeter Councels for Princes, then such swarmes of imperious Elderships; it is not for subiectes to vsurpe, as Commaunders may tirannise in a small territory. Vnlesse they meane to sett-vp a generall Deformation, in lieu of an Vniuersall Reformation; and to bring-in an order, that would soone prooue a diluge of disorder; an ouerflow of

Anarchy; and an open Fludgate, to drowne Pollicy with licentiousnes, nobility with obscurity, and the honour of realmes with the basenesse of Cantons. They that long for the bane, and plague of their Country, pray for that many∣hedded, and Cantonish reformation: in issue good for none, but the high Iudges of the Consistory, and their ap∣propriate Creatures: as I will iustify at large, in case I be e∣uer particularly challenged. I am no pleader for the regi∣ment of the feete ouer the head, or the gouernement of the stomacke ouer the hart: surely nothing can bee more pernitious in practise, or more miserable in conclusion, then a commaunding autority in them, that are borne to obey, ordained to liue in priuate condition, made to fol∣low their occupations, and bound to homage. You that be schollars, moderate your inuention with iudgement: and you that be reasonable gentlemen, pacify your selues with reason. If it be an iniury, to enclose Commons; what iu∣stice is it, to lay-open enclosures? and if Monarchies must suffer popular states to enioy their free liberties, and am∣plest fraunchises, without the least instringment, or abridg∣ment: is there no congruence of reason, that popular states should giue Monarchies leaue, to vse their Positiue lawes, established orders, and Royall Prerogatiues, without di∣sturbance, or confutation? Bicause meaner Ministers, then Lordes, may become a popular Cittie, or territorie, must it therefore be an absurditie in the maiestie of a king∣dome, to haue some Lordes spirituall amongst so many temporall: aswell for the fitter correspondence and com∣bination of both degrees; their more reuerend priuate di∣rection in matters of conscience; their weightier publique Counsell in Parlaments, and Synods; the firmer assurance of the Clergie in their causes; and the more honorable esti∣mation

of Religion in all respectes: as for the solemner vi∣sitation of their Dioces, & other competent Iurisdiction. It is Tyrannie, or vamglorie, not reuerend Lordship, that the Scripture condemneth. There were Bishops, or as some will haue them termed, Superintendents, with Episcopall superioritie, and iurisdiction; in the golden age of the A∣postles: Timothie of Ephesus; Titus of Crete; Marke of Alexandria; Iames of Ierusalem; Philemon of Gaza; the e∣loquent Apollos of Caesarea; Euodius of Antioche; Sosipa∣ter of Iconium, according to Dorotheus, of Thessaloni∣ea, according to Origene; Tychicus of Chalcedon; Ana∣nias of Damascus; and so forth. Diuers of the auncient Fa∣thers, and Doctours, aswell of the Orientall, as of the Oc∣cidentall Churches, were Bishops, reuerend Fathers in Christ, and spirituall Lordes. Thesame stile, or title of re∣uerence, hath successiuely continued to this age, without any empeachment of value, or contradiction of note; sa∣uing that of the angrie Malcontent, and prowd heretique Aërius, scarsely worth the naming. What cruell outrage hath it lately committed, or what haynous indignitie hath it newly admitted, (more then other aduauncementes of Vertue, or stiles of honour,) that it should now be cancel∣led, or abandoned in all hast? Would God, some were no stouter, or hawtier without the title, then some are with it. Many temporall Lordes, Dukes, Princes, Kinges, and Em∣perours, haue showen very-notable effectuall examples of Christian humilitie: and may not spirituall Lordes carrie spirituall mindes? I hope, they do: I know, some doe: I am suer, all may; notwithstanding their ordinarie title, or an hundred plausible Epithits. I would the Lordship, or pompe of Bishops, were the greatest abuse in Common∣wealthes, or Churches. I feare me, I shall neuer liue to see

so happie a world vpon the Earth, that aduised Reforma∣tion should haue nothing worse to complaine-off, then that Lordship, or pompe. What may be, or is amisse, in any degree; I defend not: (the delict of some one, or two Prelates, were it manifest, ought not to redounde to the damage, or detriment of the Church): what may stande with the honour of the Realme; with the benefite of the Church; with the approbation of antiquitie, and with the Canon of the Scripture, I haue no reason to impugne, or abridge. I haue more cause to suspect, that some earnest dealers might be persuaded to dispense with the name of Lordship in Bishops, on condition, themselues might be the parties: that would not secularlie abuse the title to any priuate pompe, or vanitie, but religiously applie it to the publique administration of the Churche, ac∣cording to the first institution. Were dalliance safe in such cases; I could wishe the experiment in a person, or two, in whose complexions I haue some insight. Do∣ctour Humfry of Oxford, and Doctour Fulke of Cam∣bridge, two of their standard-bearers a long-time, grew conformable in the end, as they grew riper in experience, and sager in iudgement: and why may not such, and such, in the like, or weightier respectes, condescend to a like to∣leration of matters Adiaphorall? Sith it will be no other∣wise, (maugre all Admonitions, or whatsoeuer zealous Motiues) better relent with fauour, then resist in vayne. Were any fayre offer of prefermēt, handsomely tendered vnto some, that gape not greedily after promotion, nor can-away with thissame seruile waiting, or plausible cour∣ting for liuing: I doubt not but wise men would see, what were good for themselues, commodious for their frendes, and conuenient for the Church. If they should obstinatly

refuse Deaneryes, and Bishoprickes, I should verely be∣leeue, they are mooued with stronger arguments, and pregnanter autorities, then any, they haue yet published in Print, or vttered in disputation: and I would be very glad to conferre with them, for my instruction. Sound reasons, & autenticall quotations may preuayle much: & no such muincible defence, as the armour of Proofe. In the meane time, the cause may be remembred, that incen∣sed the foresayd sactious malcontent, Aërius, to maintaine the equalitie of Bishops, and other Priestes, when himselfe failed in his ambitious suite for a Bishopricke: and all re∣steth vpon a case of conscience, as nice and squeamish a scruple with some zealous Marr-prelates, as whither the Fox in some good respects, might be woon to eate grapes. They that would pregnantly try Conclusions, might per∣aduenture finde such a temptation, the materiallest and learnedest Confutation, that hath yet bene Imprinted. Melancholie is deepely wise; and Choler resolutely stout: they must persuade them essentially, and feelingly, that will mooue them effectually. Were they entreated to yeelde, other arguments would subscribe of their owne gentle accord; and ingenuously confesse, that Opinion is not to preiudice the Truth, or Faction to derogate from Autoritie. Possession, was euer a strong defendant: and a iust title maketh a puissant aduersarie. Bishops will goo∣uerne with reputation, when Marr-Prelats must obey with reuerence, or resist with contumacie. Errours in do∣ctrine; corruptions in manners; and abuses in offices, would be reformed: but degrees of superioritie, and or∣ders of obedience are needefull in all estates: and especial∣ly in the Clergie as necessarie, as the Sunne in the day, or the Moone in the night: or Cock-on-ho•…•…pe, with a hun∣dred

thousand Curates in the world, would prooue a mad Discipline. Let Order be the golden rule of proportion; & I am as forward an Admonitioner, as any Precisian in En∣gland. If disorder must be the Discipline, and confusion the Reformatiō, (as without difference of degrees, it must needes) I craue pardon. Anarchie, was neuer yet a good States man: and Ataxie, will euer be a badd Church-man. Thatsame lustie Downefall, is too-hoat a Pollicie for my learning. They were best, to be content to let Bishopricks stande, that would be loth to see Religion fall, or the Cler∣gie troden vnder foote. He conceiueth little, that percei∣ueth not, what bondes hold the world in order, and what tenures maintaine an assurance in estates. Were Ministers Stipendaries, or Pensionars, (which hath also bene a wise motion) and all without distinction, alike esteemed, that is, all without regard, alike contemned, & abiected, (which would be the issue of vnequal Equallity); woe to the poore Ministery: and the cunningest practise of the consistorie, should haue much-adoe, to stopp those gapps, and recure those sores. Neuer a more succourlesse Orphan; or a more desolate widdow; or a more distressed Pilgrim; then such a Ministery: vntill in a thirsty, & hungry zeale, it should eft∣soones retire to former prouisions, & recoouer that aunciēt Oeconomy Ecclesiasticall. The surest reuenue, & honora∣blest salary of that coate; much-better iwis, thē the souldi∣ours pay, or the Seruing-mās wages. Equality, in things e∣quall, is a iust Law: but a respectiue valuation of persons, is the rule of Equity: & they little know, into what incōgrui∣ties, & absurdities they runne headlong, that are weary of Geometricall proportion, or distributiue Iustice, in the colla∣tion of publique functions, offices, or promotions, ciuile, or spirituall. God bestoweth his blessings with difference;

and teacheth his Lieutenant the Prince, to estimate, and preferre his subiectes accordingly. When better Autors are alledged for equalitie in persons Vnequall; I will liue, and dye in defence of that equalitie; and honour Arithme∣ticall Proportion, as the onely ballance of Iustice, and sole standard of gouernement. Meane-while, they that will∣be wiser, then God, and their Prince, may continue a pec∣uish scrupulositie in subscribing to their ordinances; and nurrish a rebellious Contumacie, in refusing their orders. I wish vnto my frendes, as vnto miselfe: and recommende Learning to discretion, conceit to iudgment, zeale to knowledge, dutie to obedience, confusion to order, Vn∣certaintie to assurance, and Vnlawfull noueltie to lawfull Vniformitie: the sweetest repose, that the Common∣wealth, or Church can enioy. Regnum diuisum, a souerain Text; and what notabler Glosse vpon a thousand Texts? Or what more cordiall restoratiue of Boddy, or Soule, then, Ecce quàm bonum, & quàm iucundum? Sweet my ma∣sters, be sweet: and without the least bitternesse of vnne∣cessarie strife, tender your affectionatest deuotiōs of Zeale, and Honour, to the best contentment of your frends, your Patrons, your Prince, the Cōmonwealth, the Church, the Almightie: which so dearely looue, so bountifully main∣taine, so mightily protect, so gratiously fauour, and so in∣dulgentially tender you. Confounde not yourselues: and what people this day more blessed, or what nation more floorishing? Some feruent, and many counterfait loouers, adore their mistresses; and commit Idolatrie to the least of their bewties: oh, that we knew what a Sacrifice, Obedi∣ence were; and what a Iewell of Iewells he offereth, that presenteth Charitie. Without which, we may talke of Doctrine, and discourse of Discipline: but Doctrine is a

Parrat; Discipline an Eccho; Reformation a shaddow; Sanctification a dreame without Charitie: in whose sweet boosome Reconciliation harboureth; the dearest frend of the Church, and the onely Est Amen of so infinite Con∣trouersies. That Reconciliation settle itselfe to examine matters barely, without their veales, or habiliments, ac∣cording to the counsell of Marcus Aurelius: and to define thinges simply, without any colours, or embellishments, according to the preceptes of Aristotle, and the examples of Ramus: and the most-endlesse altercations; being ge∣nerally rather Verball, then reall, and more circumstan∣tiall, then substantiall; will soone grow to an ende. Which end humanitie hasten, if there be any spice of humanitie; diuinitie dispatch, if there be any remnant of diuinitie; heauen accomplish, if the graces of heauen be not locked∣vpp; and Earth embrace, if reconciliation hath not forsa∣ken the Earth. If Falshood be weake, as it is weake, why should it longer hold-vpp head: and if Truth be truth, that is, great and mightie, why should it not preuayle? Most∣excellent Truth, show thiselfe in thy victorious Maiestie; and mauger whatsoeuer encounter of witt, learning, or fu∣rie, preuayle puissantly.

These Notes, if they happen to see light, are especially intended to the particular Vse of a fewe, whom in affectio∣nate good-will I would wish to stay their wisedomes. Did I not entirely pittie their case, and extraordinarily fauour some commendable partes in them, they should not ease∣ly haue cost me halfe thus many lines; euery one worse bestowed, then other, if constancie in errour, be a creddit; in disobedience, a bonde; in vice, a vertue; in miserie, a fe∣licitie. He that writt the premisses, affecteth Truth as pre∣cisely, as any Precisian in Cambrige, or Oxford; and ha∣teth

euen Looue itselfe, in comparison of Truth, which he is euer to tender with a curious deuotion: but a man may be as blinde in ouerseeing, as in seeing nothing: and he may shoote farther from the marke, that ouershooteth, then he that shooteth short, or wide: as alwayes some motespying heades haue so scrupulously ordered the mat∣ter, Vt intelligendo nihil intelligerent. I would be loth to fall into the handes of any such captious, and mutinous witts: but if it be my fortune, to light vpon hard interteinement, what remedie? I haue had some little tampering with a kinde of Extortioners, and barratours in my time: and feare not greatly any bugges, but in charitie, or in dutie. Wrong him not, that would gladly be well-taken, where he meaneth-well; and once for all protesteth, he looueth humanitie with his hart, and reuerenceth diuinitie with his soule: as he would rather declare indeede, then pro∣fesse in worde. If he erreth, it is for want of knowledge, not for want of Zeale. Howbeit for his fuller contentment, he hath also done his endeuour, to know something on both sides; and laying-aside Partialitie to the persons, hath priuately made the most equall & sincere Analysis of their seuerall allegations, and proofes, that his Logique, and di∣uinitie could sett-downe. For other Analyses he ouer∣passed, as impertinent, or not specially materiall. After such examination of their autorities, and argumentes, not with a rigorous Censure of either, but with a fauorable Construction of both: Pardon him, though he presume to deliuer some part of his animaduersions in such termes, as the instant occasion presenteth: not for any contentious, or sinister purpose (the world is too-full of litigious, and barratous pennes) but for the satisfaction of those, that de∣sire them, & the aduertisement of those, that regard them.

Who according to any indifferent, or reasonable Analy∣sis, shall finde the sharpest Inuentions, & weightiest Iudge∣mentes of their leaders, nothing so autenticall, or current, as was preiudicatly expected. It is no peece of my inten∣tion, to instruct, where I may learne: or to controwle any superiour of qualitie, that inconscience may affect, or in Pollicie seeme to countenance that side. With Martin, and his applauders; Browne, and his adherents; Barrow, and his complices; Kett, and his sectaries; or whatsoeuer Commotioners of like disposition, (for neuer such a flush of scismatique heads, or heretique witts), that like the no∣torious H. N. or the presumptuous Dauid Gorge, or that execrable Seruetus, or other turbulent rebells in Religion, would be Turkesing, and innouating they wott not what; I hope it may become me, to be allmost as bold; as they haue bene with Iudges, Bishops, Archbishops, Princes, and with whom not? howsoeuer learned, wise, vertuous, reuerend, honorable, or souerain. Or if my coole dealing with them, be insupportable; I beleeue their hoat practising with Lordes, and Princes, was not greatly tolerable. Be, as it may: that is done on both sides, cannot be vn∣done: and if they weene, they may offende outragiously without iniurie; other are suer, they may defend moderate∣ly with iustice. When that seuen-fold Sheild faileth, my plea is at an ende; albeit my making, or marring were the Client. Whiles the seuen-fold Sheild holdeth-out, he can doe little, that cannot hold it vpp. A strong Apologie, en∣hableth a weake hand: and a good cause is the best Aduo∣cate. Some sleepe not to all: and I watch not to euery-one. If I be vnderstood with effect, where I wish at-least a de∣murrer with stayed aduisement, & consultation; I haue my desier, & not wil tediously importune other. I doubt not of

many cōtrary instigatiōs, & some bold examples of turbu∣lēt spirits: but heat is not the meetest Iudge on the bench, or the soundest Diuine in disputation: & in matters of go∣uernment, but especially in motions of alteratiō, that runne their heads against a strong wall; Take heede is a fayre thing. Were there no other Considerations; the Place, and the Time, are two weightie, and mightie Circum∣stances. It is a very-nimble feather, that will needes out∣runne the wing of the Time; and leaue the sayles of regi∣ment behinde. Men are men, and euer had, and euer will haue their imperfections: Paradise tasted of imperfections: the golden age, whensoeuer it was most golden, had some drosse of imperfectiōs: the Patriarkes fealt some fits of im∣perfections: Moses tabernacle was made acquainted with imperfectiōs: Salomōs Temple could not cleere itselfe frō imperfections: the Primitiue Church wanted not imper fections: Constantines deuotion founde imperfections: what Reformatiō could euer say? I haue no imperfectiōs: or will they, that dubb themselues the little flocke, and the onely remnant of Israel; say? we haue no imperfectiōs. Had they none, as none haue more, then some of those Luci∣ferian spirits; it is an vnkinde Birde, that defileth his kinde neast; and a prowd husband-man, that can abide no tares amōgst wheate, or vpbraideth the Corne with the Cockle. There is a God aboue, that heareth prayers: a Prince be∣neath, that tendereth supplications: Lordes on both sides, that Patronise good causes: learned men, that desire Con∣ference: time, to consider vpon essentiall pointes: Know∣ledge, that loueth zeale, as zeale must reuerence know∣ledge: Trueth, that displayeth, & inuesteth itselfe: Con∣science, that is a thousand witnesses, euen against it selfe. When the question is de Re; to dispute de Homine is sophi∣sticall:

or when the matter dependeth in controuersie, to cauill at the forme is captious: the abuse of the one, were it proued, abolisheth not the vse of the other: what should impertinent secrecies be reuealed; or needles quarrels pic∣ked; or euery proposition wrinched to the harshest sense? What should honest mindes, and excellent witts, be taun∣ted, and bourded, without rime, or reason? What should insolent, and monstrous Phantasticality extoll, and glorify itselfe aboue the cloudes, without cause, or effect? When, where, and how should Martin Iunior be purified; Martin Senior saintified; Browne Euangelistified; Barrow Apo∣stolified; Kett Angelified; or the Patriarke of the loouely Familistes, H.N. deified, more then all the world beside? Were it possible, that this age should affoord a diuine and miraculous Elias: yet, when Elias himselfe deemed him∣selfe most desolate, and complained hee was left all-alone; there remained thousandes liuing, that neuer bowed their knees vnto Baal. But Faction, is as sure a Keeper of Coun∣sell, as a siue: Spite, as close a Secretary, as a skummer: In∣nouation, at the least a bright Angell from heauen: & the foresaid abstractes of pure diuinity, will needes know, why Iunius Brutus, or Eusebius Philadelphus should rather be Pasquils incarnate, then they. If there be one Abraham in Vr; one Lot in Sodome; one Daniell in Babilon; one Io∣nas in Niniue; one Iob in Huz: or if there bee one Dauid in the Court of Saule; one Obadia in the Court of Achab; one Ieremy in the Court of Zedechias; one Zorobabel in the Court of Nabuchodonosor; one Nehemias in the Court of Artaxerxes; or any singular blessed One in any good, or bad Court, Citty, State, Kingdome, or Nation; it must be One of them: all other of whatsoeuer dignity, or desert, what but reprobates, apostataes, monsters, ty∣rants,

pharises hypocri tes, false prophets, belly-gods, worldlinges, rauenous woolues, crafty foxes, dogs to their vomite, a generation of vipers, limmes of Sathan, Diuels incarnate, or such like. For Erasmus poore Copia Verborum, and Omphalius sory furniture of inuectiue and declama∣tory phrases, must come-shorte in this comparison of the rayling faculty. I know no remedy, but the prayer of Cha∣ritie, and the order of Autority: whome it concerneth to deale with libels, as with thornes; with phansies, as with weedes; and with heresies, or scismes, as with Hydras heads. It hath bene alwayes one of my obseruations, but especially of later yeares, since these Numantine skirmi∣shes: The better schollar indeede, the colder scismatique; & the hotter scismatique, the worse schollar. What an hide∣ous and incredible opinion did Dauid Gorge conceiue of himself? H.N. was not affraide to insult ouer al the Fathers, Doctors, schoolemē, & new-writers, euer since the Euāge∣lists, & Apostles: Browne challēged all the Doctours, & o∣ther notablest graduats of Cambridge, and Oxford: Kett, though something in Astrology, and Physicke, yet a rawe Deuine, how obstinate, and vntractable in his fantasticke assertions? Barrow taketh vpon him, not onely aboue Lu∣ther, Zuinglius, Oecolampadius, Brentius, and all the ve∣hementest Germane Protestants; but also aboue Caluin, Viret, Beza, Marlorat, Knox, Meluin, Cartwright, Tra∣uerse, Fenner, Penry, and all our importunest sollicitours of reformation; howsoeuer qualified with giftes, or repu∣ted amongst their fauorits. Illuminate Vnderstanding, is the rare byrd of the Church; and graund intendimentes come by a certaine extraordinarie, and supernaturall reue∣lation. One Vnlearned Singularist hath more in him, then ten learned Precisians: Giue me the braue fellow, that can

carrie a Dragons tayle after him. Tush, Vniuersitie-lear∣ning is a Dunse: and Schoole-diuinitie a Sorbonist. It is not Art, or Modesty, that maketh a Rabi Alphes, or a rin∣gleader of multitudes. Dauid Gorge the Archprophet of the world: H. N. the Archeuangelist of Christ: and Bar∣row the Archapostle of the Church. Superhappy Crea∣tures, that haue illuminate vnderstanding, and graund in∣tendiments at the best hand. Miraculous Barrow, that so hugely exceedeth his auncients in the pure arte of Refor∣mation. But vndoubtedly his Kingdome cannot flourish long: as he hath blessed his Seniors, so he must be annoin∣ted of his Iuniors: me thinkes I see an other, and an other headd, suddainely starting-vpp vpon Hydras shoulders: farewell H.N. and welcome Barrow: adieu Barrow, and All-haile thou Angelicall spirite of the Gospell, whose face I see in a Christall, more pure, then Purity it selfe: the de∣pression of one, the exaltation of an other: the corruption of one, the generation of an other: no seede so fertile, or rancke, as the seede of scisme, and the sperme of heresy. Christ aide his assaulted fort; and blisse the seede of Abra∣ham: and in honor of excellent Arts, and worthy Profes∣sions, be it euer saide; The best-learned, are best-aduised.

Euen Cardinall Sadolet, Cardinall Poole, and Ompha∣lius, commended the milde, and discreete disposition of Melancthon, Bucer, and Sturmius, when they first stirred in Germany: the Queene Moother of Fraunce, and the Cardinall of Lorraine praysed Ramus, albeit hee was kno∣wen to fauourise the Prince of Condy: Iouius praysed Reuclin, and Camerarius, as Peucer praysed Iouius, and Bembus: Osorius praysed Ascham, as Ascham praysed Watson: and who praysed not Sir Iohn Cheeke; how exceedingly did Cardan praise him? Sir Thomas Smith,

her Maiesties Ambassadour in Fraunce, in the raignes of Henry the Second, Francis the Second, and Charles the Ninth; was honored of none more, then of some French, and Italian Cardinals, and Bishops: the Kings sonnes fa∣uored his sonne, aswell after, as before their Coronation. Neander in his late Chronicle, and later Geographie, prai∣seth here, & there certaine Papistes: and did not Agrippa, Erasmus, Duarene, and Bodine occasionally prayse as ma∣ny Protestants? It was a sweet, and diuine Vertue, that stir∣red-vp looue, & admiration in such aduersaries: & doubt∣lesse they carried an honest, & honorable mynde, that for∣got themselues, and their frendes, to doe their enemies rea∣son, and Vertue right. A vertue, that I often seeke, seldome finde; wish-for in many, hope-for in some, looke-for in few; reuerence in a Superiour, honour in an inferiour; ad∣mire in a frend, looue in a foe; ioy, to see, or heare, in one, or other. Peruerse natures are forward to disguise them∣selues, and to condemne not onely Curtesie, or humani∣tie, but euen humilitie, & charitie itselfe, with a nick-name of Newtralitie, or Ambidexteritie: terme it, what you list, and miscall it at your pleasure: certes it is an excellent and souerain qualitie, that in a firme resolution neuer to aban∣don Vertue, or to betray the Truth, stealeth interteine∣ment from displeasure, fauour from offence, looue from •…•…nitie, grace from indignation; and not like Homers Sy∣ren, but like Homers Minerua, traineth partialitie to a li∣king of the aduerse Partie; dissension to a commendation of his Contrarie; errour to an embracement of truth; and euen Corruption himselfe to an aduauncement of valour, of desert, of integritie, of that morall, and intellectuall good, that so gratiously insinuateth, and so forciblie em∣prooueth itselfe. Oh, that learning were euer married to

such discretion; witt to such wisedome; Zeale to such ver∣tue; contention to such moralitie: and oh, that such pri∣uate gouernement might appeare in those, that pleade most importunatly for publique gouernement. Oh, that Plato could teach Xenocrates; Aristotle, Callisthenes; Theophrastus, Aristotle; Eunapius, Iamblicus; to sacrifice to the sweet Graces of Mercurie. What should I vayle, or shadow a good purpose? Oh a thousand times, that Me∣lancton could traine Iunius Brutus; Sturmius, Philadel∣phus; Ramus, Beza; Iewell, Cartwright; Deering, Mar∣tin; Baro, Barrow; to embrace the heauenly Graces of Christ, and to kisse the hand of that diuine Creature, that passeth all Vnderstanding. What a felicitie were it, to see such heades as pregnant, as Hydras heades; or Hydras heades as rare, as such heades?

It is not my meaning, to deface, or preiudice any, that Vnfainedly meaneth well: if Percase I happen to touch some painted walles, and godly hypocrites, (Godlinesse is become a strange Creature, should they be truly godly) let them keepe their owne Counsel, and cease to affect new re∣putation by old heresies. The Iewes had their holly-hol∣ly-holly Essaeans: their seperate, and precise Pharises: their daily regenerate, & Puritane Hemerobaptistes: their feruent, and illuminate Zelotistes: onely in shape men, in conuer∣sation Saincts, in insinuation Angels, in profession Demi∣gods; as descended from heauen, to blesse the Earth, and to make the Citie a Paradise, that washed their feete. Iesus blesse good mindes from the blacke enemy, when he •…•…i∣reth himselfe like an Angell of light. Iudas the Gaulonite, in the reigne of Herode the Great, was an hoat tost, and a maruelous Zelotist; when the Emperour Octauian taxing the world, and assessing Iudea, like other nations, who but

he, in the abundance of his mightie Zeale, was the man, that sett it downe for a Canonicall Doctrine; That the people of God, was to acknowledge no other Lord, but God; and that it was a flauish bondage, to pay any such exaction, or imposition vnto Augustus: and hauing giuen∣out that principle, for an infallible rule, or rather a sacred law, very vehemently sollicited and importuned the peo∣ple (as the manner is) to liue, and dye in the cause of their God, and their libertie. But sweet Christ was of a milder & meeker spirite; & both payed tribute himselfe to auoyde offence; and set it downe for an eternal Maxime in his Go∣spell; Giue vnto Caesar, that belongeth vnto Caesar, and vnto God, that belongeth vnto God. Zelous Iudas the Gaulonite, and feruent Simon the Galilean, two singular reformers of the Iudaicall Synagoge, pretended fayre for a pure Type, or exquisite platforme of the soundest, exa∣ctest, and precisest Hebraicall Discipline: but what pro∣phane Idolatrie so plagued that diuine Common-wealth, as thatsame scrupulous Zeale? or what made that blessed state, vtterly miserable, but thatsame vnruly, and tumultu∣ous Zeale; that would not be content with reason, vntill it was too late? For a time, they supposed themselues, the worthiest, & rarest Creatures in Iudea, or rather the onely men of that state; and in a deepe conceit of a neat & vndefi∣led puritie, diuorced, or sequestred themselues frō the cor∣rupt societie of other: but alas, that any purified mindes should pay so dearely, and smartly for their sine Phansies; which cost them no lesse, then the most lamentable ouer∣throw of their whole Common-wealth. You that haue Languages, and Arts, more-then diuers other of good qualitie, and can Vse them with Methode, and a certaine •…•…usible opinion of great learning, be as excellent, and sin∣gular,

as you possiblie can for your liues, in a direct course: but be not peeuish, or odd in a crooked balke, that leadeth out-of the Kinges high-way, and Christes owne path, into a maze of confusion, and a wildernesse of desolation: the finall ende of these endlesse Contentions, if they be noto∣therwise calmed by priuate discretion, or cutt-short by pu∣blique order. The first example of diuision, was perillous: and what rankes, or swarmes of insatiable scisme, inconti∣nently followed? It is a mad world, when euery crew of conceited Punyes, puffed-vp with a presumptuous, or phantasticall imagination, must haue their seuerall com∣plot, or faction; as it were a certaine Punicall warre: whose victorie wilbe like that of Carthage against Roome, if it be not the sooner quieted. Remember Iudas the Gaulo∣nite; and forgett not yourselues: inordinate Zeale is a per∣nitious Reformer: and Destruction, a deare purchase of Plotts in Moone-shine. S. Paule the heroicall Apostle, could not finde a more excellent way, then Charitie, the most-souerain way of Faith, and Hope: any other deseigne of puritie, or singularitie, buildeth not vp, but pulleth∣downe; and of more then a Million in hope, prooueth lesse then a cipher in effect. What the saluation of Dauid Gorge? a nullitie: what the deification of H. N? anullitie: what the glorification of Kett? a nullitie: what the sanctifi∣cation of Browne? a nullitie: what the cōmunitie of Bar∣row? a nullitie: what the plausibilitie of Martin? a nulli∣tie: what a thousand such popular motiues, allectiues, in∣censiues, aggrauations of the least corruptiō, amplificatios of the highest felicitie, new landes of promise, ouerflow∣ing with milke, and honny, fooles Paradises, glorious in∣nouations; but present shame, wretched confusion, vtter ruine, euerlasting infamie, horrible damnation, & a most∣hideous

〈◊〉〈◊〉 Euē the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 at hurly ourly of the Church, the imagined heauenly Discipline; and the very topfy∣turuy of the state; the pretended-diuine Reformation; of two mightie 〈◊〉〈◊〉, what can they possiblie emprooue themselues, but silly 〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 most pittifull nulli∣tie? Sweet Charitie, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 bitter garboiles: and seing they so instantly, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉 affect a perfect Platforme, giue them a most-curious, and exquisite Table of pure Reformation, euen the true Picture of Thiself. Su∣rer Preuention of mischiefe, and ruine, I know none.

I had here bidden Martin in the Vintry farwell, and ta∣ken my leaue of this tedious Discourse; (for no man taketh lesse delight in Inuectiues); were I not newly certified of certaine fresh, & frantique practises for the erection of the Synedrion in all hast: whose 〈◊〉〈◊〉 are weary of melancholy Proiects, and begin to 〈◊〉〈◊〉 on a cholerique course. Hoat arguments are fiercely threatened, in case the Discipline be not the sooner 〈◊〉〈◊〉: but methinks that warme course should scarsely be the stile of pure Mor∣tification: and haply softer fier would make sweeter mault. A little 〈◊〉〈◊〉, doth not much amisse in capitall, or daungerous 〈◊〉〈◊〉. It were well, the blowing bel∣lowes might be 〈◊〉〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉〈◊〉 their winde for a fitter opportunitie: or if fier boilyng in the stomacke, must needes breake-out at the mouth; the best comfort is, the Country 〈◊〉〈◊〉 deth sufficient prouisiō of water, to encoun∣ter, the terriblest Vulcanist, that brandisheth a burning sword, or a fierie toung. Howbeit some looker-on, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 feare not greatly the flame, cannot but maruell at the smoake; and had rather see them, breathing-out the fume of diuine Tobacco, the of furious rage. I haue read of Po∣litique Iewes, that for their commoditie haue become

Christias; whom in Spaine, & Italy they terme 〈◊〉〈◊〉: but that Politique Christiās for any benefit, promotiō, or other regard whatsoeuer, should practise to become Iews, in doctrine, or in discipline, in earnest, or in deuise, in whole, or in part, it were strange, & almost incredible; if the world were not growen a mostrous 〈◊〉〈◊〉 for his aduantage; & the voyce of Iacob prooued a more gaynfull Stratageme for the hands of Esau, then euer the hands of Esau were for the voice of Iacob. I charge not any, that are cleere; (would there were no more Iewish Pharises, then Hebrue Wor∣thies); but let not them accuse me for speaking, that con∣demne themselues for doing; or shew themselues Saincts in the Premisses, that will scantly prooue honest men in the Conclusion. All are not ledd with thesame respectes, that hang on thesame string: some are carried with one consideration, some with an other: some tender diuinity, as their soule; some looue Religion, as their boddy; some fauour the Gospell, as their fortune: I doubt not, but some desier Discipline for Conscience; and do none coouet Re∣formation for gayne; or were it impossible, to point-out a Retaliado Conuert, in the whottist throng of those fresh Proselites? If there be no Retaliados in Christendome, I am glad I haue sayd nothing: if there be, they may so long mocke other in wordes, that at-last they will most deceiue themselues in deedes. I am beholding to the old Iurie; but haue no great phansie to a new, either in London, or else∣where; when amongst diuers other histories of Iewish e∣normities, I remember how an auncient Archbishop of Canterbury, one Iohn Peckam, was fayne to take order with the Bishop of London then being, for the dissolutiō, and destruction of all the Synagoges in his Dioces. The lesse neede of any such order at this instant, all the better.

I will not dispute, whither a Synodrion presuppose a Sy∣nagoge; or whither it be not as insupportable a yoke for any King, or mightie state, as it was for King Herode, or the Romanes, that found it intolerable: (methinkes the wisest Sanedrist of a thousand, should hardly persuade me, that he is a frend of Princes, or no enemie of Monarchies): but I know somuch by some, none of the meanest Schol∣lers; or obscurest men in Europe, touching their opinion of the old, and new Testament, of the Thalmud, of the Alcoran, of the Hebrue, Christian, and Turkish Histories; that I deeme any thing suspicious, and perillous, that any∣way inclineth to Iudaisme; as fell an aduersarie to Christia∣nitie, as the Wolfe to the Lambe, or the Goshawk to the Dooue. Graunt them an inche; they will soone take an ell with the aduantage: and were any part of their Discipline one foote, could the boddy of their Doctrine want an head? or might not the Parishe prooue a disorderly Con∣gregation, as bad as a Synagoge, where the Iudiciall bench were a Synedrion? The Iewes are a suttle, and mischee∣uous people: and haue cunningly inuegled some students of the holly toung, with their miraculous Cabala from Moses, their omnifcious Cosmologie from Salomon, their Caldaean sapience from Daniell, and other profound Se∣crets of great pretence: but their liberall gifts bite like their Vsurie; and they are finally founde to interteine them best, that shutt them quite out-of doores, with their Sane∣drim, and all. They can tell a precious tale of their diuine Senate; and of their Venerable Meokekim, reuerenced like liuing Lawes: but were all iudgements actually drawen to the diuine Senate, and all lawes solemnely to be fetched from the Venerable Meokekim, as from speaking Oracles; might not these, and their other Metaphysicall mysteries,

be enregistred in thesame Thalmud; or might it not prooue a pinching Reformation for Christendome: I haue tasted of their Verball miracles; and cannot greatly commend their personall vertues: but their reall Vsurie is knowen through-out the Christian world, to be an vnmer∣cifull Tyrant, & I feare me, their Consistoriall Iurisdiotiō would growe a Cruell griper; especially being so Vniuer∣sally extended in euery Parish, as is intended by the pro∣moters thereof, and powerably armed with that supreme, & Vncontrowlable authoritie, which they affect in causes Ecclesiasticall. A braue spirituall motion, and worthie not onely of these pidling sturres, but euen of a Troian warre. Yet their Precedent, the Mosaicall Synedrion, was a Ciuil Court, (as is afore mentioned, & would be reconsidered) cum mero imperio: and when it became mixt, it was not meerly Ecclesiasticall; & when it became meerly Ecclesia∣sticall, of a Pōtifical Consistory, it soone prooued a Tyran∣nicall Court; and by your good leaue, was as nimble to en∣croach vpon Ciuill causes, being an Ecclesiasticall Court, as euer it was to intermeddle with Ecclesiasticall causes, being a Ciuill Court. The finest Methodists, according to Aristotles golden rule of artificiall Boundes, condemne Geometricall preceptes in Arithmetique, or Arithmeticall preceptes in Geometrie, as irregular, and abusiue: but ne∣uer Artist so licentiously heterogenised, or so extrauagant∣ly exceeded his prescribed limits, as Ambition, or Cooue∣tice. Euery Miller is ready to conuey the water to his owne mill: and neither the high Priestes of Ierusalem, nor the Popes of Roome, nor the Patriarkes of Constantinople, nor the Pastors of Geneua, were euer hastie to binde their owne handes. They that research Antiquities, and inquier into the priuities of Practises, shall finde an Act of Praemu∣nire

is a necessarie Bridle in some cases. The first Bishops of Roome, were vndoubtedly vertuous men, and godly Pa∣stors: from Bishops they grew to be Popes: what more re∣uerend, then some of those Bishops; or what more Tyran∣nicall, then some of those Popes? Aaron, and the high-Priestes of Ierusalem, and of other ceremoniall nations, were their glorious Mirrours; and they deemed nothing too-magnificall, or pompous, to breede an Vniuersall re∣uerence of their sacred autoritie, and Hierarchie. We are so farre alienated from imitating, or allowing them, that we cannot abide our owne Bishops; yet withall would haue euery Minister a Bishop, and would also be fetching a new Patterne from old Ierusalem, the moother-sea of the high-Priesthood. So the world (as the manner is) will needes runne-about in a Circle: pull-downe Bishops; set vp the Minister; make him Bishop of his Parish, and head of the Consistorie, (call him, how you list, that must be his place): what will become of him within a fewe genera∣tions, but a high Priest in a low Ierusalem, or a great Pope in a small Roome? And then, where is the difference be∣tweene him, and a Bishop, or rather betweene him, and a Pope? not somuch in the qualitie of his Iurisdiction, when in effect he may be his owne Iudge, as in the quantitie of his Dioces, or temporalties. Or in case he be Politique; as some Popes haue bene glad for their aduantage, to tyran∣nise Popularly, so he may chaunce be content for his ad∣uauncement, to popularise tyrannically: and shall not be the first of the Clergie, that hath cunningly done it with a comely grace. Something there must be of a Monarchie in free states: and something there will be of free states, in a Monarchie. The discreeter, and Vprighter the Curate is, the more circumspectly he will walke, and degenerate the

lesse. Yet what generation without degeneration: or what reuolution without irregularitie? One inconuenience be∣getteth an other: enormities grow like euill weedes: take heede of a mischiefe: and where then will be the corrup∣tions? Or how shall defection, (acknowledging no prima∣cie, or superioritie in any person, or Court) retire to his first institution: if percase there should growe a Conspiracie in fellowship; one Consistory iustifie an other for aduantage; and their whole Synods fall-out in consequence, to be like their Parts? Men may erre: and frailtie will slipp. What should I alledge Historyes, or autorities? It is no newes for infirmitie to fall, when it should stand; or for appetite to re∣bell, when it should obey. Euery sonne of Adam, a reed shaken with the wind of passion, a weake Vessell, a Schol∣lar of imperfection, a Master of ignorance, a Doctour of errour, a Pastour of concupiscence, a superintendent of auarice, a Lord of ambition, a Prince of sinne, a slaue of mortalitie. Flesh is flesh; and Blud a Wanton, a chaunge∣ling, a compound of contrary elementes, a reuoulting and retrograde Planet, a Sophister, an hypocrite, an im∣postour, an Apostata, an heretique; as conuertible as Mer∣cury, as variable as the weather-cock, as lunatique as the Moone; a generation of corruption, a Whore of Babylon, a limme of the world, and an impe of the Diuell. It is their owne argument in other mens case: and why should it not be other mens argument in their case, Vnlesse they can shew a personall Priuiledge ad imprimendum solum? They may speake, as they list: termes of sanctification, and mor∣tificatiō, are free for them, that will vse them: but the Com∣mon opinion is, euen of the forwardest skirmishers at this day, they doe like other men; and liue like the children of the world, and the brethren of themselues. Some of them

haue their neighbours good leaue, to be their owne Pro∣ctors, or Aduocats, if they please. Yet how probable is it, they are now at their very best, and euen in the neatest and purest plight of their incorruption, whiles their mindes are abstracted from worldly thoughts, to a high meditation of their supposed-heauenly Reformation: and whiles it ne∣cessarily behooueth them, to stand charily and nicely vp∣on the credit of their integritie, sinceritie, precisenesse, god∣linesse, Zeale, and other vertues? When such respects are ouer, and their purpose compassed according to their harts desier; who can tell how they, or their successours may vse the Keyes; or how they will besturr them with the Sword: If Flesh prooue not a Pope Ioane; and Bloud a Pope Hil∣debrand, good enough. Accidents, that haue happened, may happen agayne: and all thinges vnder the Sunne, are subiect to casualtie, mutabilitie, and corruption. At all ad∣uentures, it is a braue Position, to maintaine a souerain, and supreme autoritie in euery Consistorie; and to exempt the Minister from superiour Censure; like the high Priest, or greatest Pontiffe, whom Dionysius Haly carnasseus calleth 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. He had neede be a wise, and Conscionable man, that should be a Parlamēt, or a Chauncerie vnto him∣selfe: and what a furniture of diuine perfections were re∣quisite in the Church, where so many Ministers, so many spirituall high Iustices of Oier, and Terminer: and euery one a supreme Tribunall, a Synode, a Generall Councell, a Canon Law, a heauenly Law, and Gospel vnto himselfe? If no Serpent can come within his Paradise, safe enough. Or were it possible, that the Pastor, (although a man, yet a diuine man) should as it were by inheritance, or succession, continue a Sainct from generation to generation: is it also necessary, that the whole company of the redoub∣ted

Seniors, should wage euerlasting warre with the flesh, the world, and the Diuell; and eternally remaine an incor∣ruptible Areopage, without wound, or scarre? Neuer such a Colledge, or fraternitie vpon Earth, if that be their inuio∣lable order. But God helpe Conceit, that buildeth Churches in the Ayer, and platformeth Disciplines with∣out stayne, or spott.

They complaine of corruptions; and worthily, where Corruptions encroche, (I am no Patron of corruptions): but what a surging sea of corruptiōs would ouerflow with∣in few yeares, in case the sword of so great and ample au∣toritie, as that at Ierusalem most capitall, or this at Geneua most redoubted, were putt into the hand of so little capa∣citie in gouernement, so little discretion in Discipline, so little iudgement in causes, so little moderation in liuing, so little constancie in saying, or dooing, so little grauitie in behauiour, or so little whatsoeuer should procure reue∣rence in a Magistrate, or establish good order in a Cōmon∣wealth. Trauaile thorough ten thousand Parishes in En∣gland; and when you haue taken a fauourable vew of their substantiallest, and sufficientest Aldermen, tell me in good sooth, what a comely showe they would make in a Consi∣storie; or with how solemne a presence they would furnish a Councell Table. I beleeue, Grimaldus did little thinke of any such Senatours, whē he writ de Optimo Senatore: or did Doctour Bartholmen Philip, in his Perfect Counsellour, e∣uer dreame of any such Coūsellours? Petty Principalities, petty Tyrants; & such Senats, such Senatours. Witt might deuise a pleasurable Dialogue betwixt the Leather Pilch, and the Veluet Coate: and helpe to persuade the better, to deale neighbourly with the other; the other to cōtēt him∣selfe with his owne calling. I deny not, but the short apron

may be as honest a man, or as good a Christian, as the long gowne: but methinkes he should scantly be so good a Iudge, or Assistant in doubtfull causes: and I suppose, Ne Sutor vltrà crepidam, is as fitt a Prouerbe now, as euer it was, since that excellent Painter rebuked that sawcie Co∣bler. Euery subiect is not borne to be a Magistrate, or Of∣ficer: and who knoweth not, whose creature Superiour Power is? They are very-wise, that are wiser then he, by whose diuine permission, euery one is that he is. The La∣conicall Ephory hath lately borne a great swing, in some re∣solute Discourses of Princes, and Magistrates; that thought they saued the world from the abhomination of desolatiō, when they found-out a bridle, or yoke for Princes: but old Aristotle was a deepe Politician in diebus illis: and his Reasons against that Ephorie (for Aristotle confuted the Ephorie with sounder arguments, then euer it was confir∣med to this day) would not yet perhaps be altogither con∣temned: That so great iudiciall causes were committed to men, indued with so little, or no Vertue: That the poore Plebeians for very penurie were easely bribed, and corrup∣ted: That there ensued an alteration of the state, the good Kinges being fayne to currie fauour with their great Ma∣sters, and to become Popular. Whither this would be the end, and may be the marke of those, or our Populars, I offer it to their consideration, that are most interessed in such motions of Ephoryes and Senioryes. The world is beholding to braue and heroicall myndes, that like Her∣cules, would practise meanes to pull-downe Tyrannie, smal, or great: and reforme whole Empires, and Churches, like the three victorious Emperours, surnamed Magni, Constantine, Theodosius, and Charles. Thankes, were an vnsufficient recompense for so noble intentions. It

must be a guerdon of value, that should counteruaile their desert, that pretend so fatherly, and Patronly a care of ree∣difying Commonwealthes, and Churches. Some volun∣tarie Counsellours doe well in a State: and men of extra∣ordinary vocation, singularly qualified for the purpose, are worth their double weight in gold. When other sleepe, they watch when other play, they worke: when other feast, they fast: when other laugh, they sigh: whiles other are content to be lulled in securitie, and nusled in abuse, they occupie themselues in deuising pregnant bondes of assurance, and exquisite models of Reformation. Which must presently be aduaunced without further consultatiō: or they haue courage, and will vse it in maintenaunce of so diuine abstractes. Melancholie is peremptory in resolu∣tion: and Choler an aeger Executioner. Were it not for those two inuincible arguments, there might still be order taken with other reasons, and autorities whatsoeuer. They do well to presupppose the best of their owne deseignes, and to giue-out Cardes of Fortunate Ilandes, artificially drawen: but as I neuer read, or heard of any people, that committed swordes into such hands, but bought their ex∣perience with losse, and had a hard penyworth of their soft cushion: so in my simple consideration, I cannot con∣ceiue, how Ignoraunce should become a meeter Officer, then Knowledge; Affection a more incorrupt Magistrate, then Reason; headlong Rashnesse, or wilfull Stubbernesse, a more vpright Iudge, then mature Deliberation; base Oc∣cupations enact, and establish better orders, then liberall Sciences, or honorable Professions; (any traffique, how∣soeuer current, or aduantageous, hath bene iudged vnde∣cent for a Senatour); tagg, & ragg administer all things ab∣solutely-well, with due prouision against whatsoeuer possi∣ble

inconueniences, where so many faults are found with persons of better qualitie; that incomparablie haue more skil in the administration of publique affaires; more know∣ledge, and experience in causes; more respect in procee∣ding; more regard of their credit; more sense of daunge∣rous enormities, or contagious abuses; more care of the floorishing and durable estate of the Prince, the Common∣wealth, and the Church. Na, I can see no reason, accor∣ding to the best groundes of Pollicie, that euer I read, but for euery Ciuill tyranny, or Pettie misdemeanour, that can possiblie happen now, the gouernemēt standing as it doth; there must needes Vpstart a hundred, and a hundred bar∣barous tyrannies, and huge outrages, were the new plat∣formes, Actes of Parlament; and the Complotters, such high Commissioners, as are described in their owne pro∣iects, the floorishes of Vnexperienced wittes. When they haue nothing else to alledge, that should make them supe∣riour, or equall to the present Officers; Conscience must be their Text, their Glosse, their Sanctuarie, their Tenure, and their strong hold. Indeede Conscience, grounded vp∣on Science, is a double Ancher; that neither deceiueth, nor is deceiued: and no better rule, then a regular, or publique Conscience; in diuinitie ruled by Diuinitie, in law, by Law, in art by Art, in reason by Reason, in experience by Experience. Other irregular, or priuate Conscience, in Publique functions, will fall-out to be but a lawlesse Church; a ship-mans hose; a iugglers sticke; a phantasticall freehold, and a conceited Tenure in Capite: as interchaun∣geable as the Moone, and as fallible as the winde. How barratous, and mutinous at euery puffe of Suggestion, lett the world iudge. I would there lacked a present Example, as hoat, as fresh: but hoat looue, soone cold, and the fittes

of youth like the showers of Aprill. There goeth a prettie Fable of the Moone, that on a time she earnestly besought her moother, to prouide her a comely garment, fitt and handsome for her boddy: How can that be, sweet daugh∣ter, (quoth the moother) sith your body neuer keepeth at one certaine state, but changeth euery day in the moneth? That priuate Conscience, the sweet daughter of Phansie, be the Morall: and the assurance of the Common People, where there wanteth a curbe, the application. What Cha∣meleon so chaungeth his colour, as Affection? or what Polypus so variable, as Populus, chorus, fluuius? Doctour Kelke, when he was Vicechauncelour in Cambridge, would often tell the Aduocats, and Proctors in the Consi∣storie there, that he had a knacke of Conscience, for their knacke of Law. Truly the man, as he was knowen to be learned, and religious, so seeemed to carrie a right-honest, and harmelesse minde, and would many times be pleasant∣ly disposed after his blunt manner: but in very deede his Conscience (be it spoken without appeachmēt of his good memorie) other-whiles prooued a knacke, and admitted more inconueniences, (some would haue sayd, commit∣ted more absurdities) then became the grauitie, and repu∣tation of that iudicious Consistorie. Yet were this new∣plotted Consistorie erected, according to the map of their owne imagination, euen vpon the topp of the presumed mount Sion: by the fauour of that goodly prospect I dare vndertake, amongst so many thousand Ministers, with E∣piscopall, or more then Episcopall autoritie, there must be but a fewe hundred Iudges, like Doctour Kelke; and a very great dearth of such Assistants, or Seniours, as that floorishing Vniuersitie affourdeth. Alas, many thousands of them, Vnworthy to carrie the Beadles staffe before the

〈◊〉〈◊〉; of their bookes after the other: how 〈◊〉〈◊〉 for su∣preme, or free 〈◊〉〈◊〉, I report me 〈◊〉〈◊〉 you. It is no∣tably sayd of Aristotle in his Politiques: He that would haue the Lawe to rule, would haue a God to rule: but he that commi•…•…eth the rule to a man, committeth the rule to a beast. The Lawe, is a mynde without appetite; a soule without a boddy; a Iudge without flesh, and bloud; a ballance without Partialitie; a meane without extreames. Where Conscience is such a Law, I am for Conscience, let vs professeno other Law; let vs build vs Consistories, and 〈◊◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊◊〉 of Equitie let vs dwell in those 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 of Integritie: let vs honour that incorruptible scepter of Sinceritie: let vs set the Impetiall crowne vp∣on the head of that Pollicie; and let that Discipline weare the Pōtificall miter. The world wrongeth itselfe infinitly, if it runneth not to the gaze of that bewtifull 〈◊〉〈◊〉; or refuseth any order 〈◊〉〈◊〉 that sacred Oracle. Otherwise, if men be men, & that Cōsistory, no quire of Angels, or 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of Saints, but a meeting of neighbours, some of them rude, and grose enough, after the homelyest guise, for without miraculous illumination, it must necessarily be so in most Parishes): now I beseech you, hath not Con∣sidernation some reason, to feare the Delphical Sword: And the conuenied partie, that was nothing affrayde of the Deane, or the Canons; they, quoth be, are good Gentle∣men, and my fauourable frendes, but the Chapter is the 〈◊〉〈◊〉; would 〈◊〉〈◊〉 go high hand to say 〈◊〉〈◊〉 for the new 〈◊〉〈◊〉, as for the old Chapter. Our Mi∣nister is a Zealous 〈◊〉〈◊〉: 〈◊〉〈◊〉 such, and such my honest neighbours: but God blesse me from the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Consistorie. They that can skill of 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and know the 〈1 line〉〈1 line〉,

or what you please; can hardly hope for any such Paradise, or All-hallowes in hoony lane, as is plausiblie pounrayed in some late drawghts of Reformatio; sweeter in discourse, then in practise. I will not prophecie of Contingēts in spe∣culation: but were their Complot a matter 〈◊〉〈◊〉, it is pos∣sible that euen the Platformers themselues, should haue no such exceeding cause, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ioye in their redoubted Seniours. Some Potestats are queint men, and will by firres beare a braine, maugre the best reason, or Purest Comscience in a Consutorie. And God knoweth, how the People would digest it, (especially after some little triall of their 〈◊〉〈◊〉 rigour, and other 〈◊〉〈◊〉 dealing) that their neighbour Whatchicalt, sometime no wiser then his fellowes, and such, and such a Free-holder of this, and that homely 〈◊〉〈◊〉, (somewhat base for a Senatour) should so iollily perke on the bench, amongst the Fathers Conscript, when some, that haue a state of inheritance, or maintaine them∣selues vpon ciuiler trades, must humbly wait at the barre, and yeeld themselues obedient to the sterne commande∣ments of those sage benchers. Iwis, the penny is a strong argument with such natures: and he that 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the hea∣uiest purse, how vnmeete soeuer he may seeme for a Con∣sistorie, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 himselfe mightily wronged, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 he be taken for the best, or one of the best in the Parish: and if for his countenaunce, or other charitable respect, he will not sticke sometime to pleasure a good fellow, or a poore neighbour, (some good fellowes are killcowes, and some poore neighbours all-hart) he may perhaps get 〈◊〉〈◊〉 hardy partakers, & bare himselfe for as mighty a man in the bor∣rowgh, or village, as some of the foresaid redoubted 〈◊〉〈◊〉. How that would be allowed in Consistorie, or how a thousand suites, quarrels, vprores, & 〈◊〉〈◊〉 mightbe

pacified, yet vnprouided-for, or vnthought-vpon by the compendious Summists; it would be considered in time, whiles there is leysure from Practise. For after the Consi∣storie is once vp; in such sweating haruest of most-busie businesse, a simple Pragmatique may easely Prognosticate, how small a remnant of leysure will 〈◊〉〈◊〉 for conside∣ration. There was much adooe, & other whiles little helpe, first at Ierusalem, with one 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and then at Geneua with one Seniorie, the two onely exemplary Presbiteryes: (for other Primitiue Elderships wil not fit the turne): what a wonderfull 〈◊〉〈◊〉 would one, and some 52000. 〈◊〉〈◊〉 make in England. Were not our Reformation likely to prooue a greater Sweat, or a 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, then any in Graftons, Stowes, or Holinsheds Chronicle? Martin, vn∣der correction of your high Court of Conscience, giue me leaue to bethinke me attonce, vpon the 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 of your Discipline, and Phaetons regiment, in the hoat Countryes of the Orient. When his braue 〈◊〉〈◊〉 came to the Exe∣cution; solitaque lugum 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉; a light beginning, a heauie ending;

Necscit, quâ sititer; nec sisciat, imperet illis: and so forth: (it is not conceit, or courage, but skill, and authoritie, that manageth gouernement with honour): what was the issue of that yonkerly & presumptuous enterprise, but a Diluge of fier, as ruthfull, and horrible, as Deucalions Diluge of water?

Magne 〈◊〉〈◊〉 cum moenibus Vrbes: Cum{que} suis totas populis intendia Gentes.

In 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉. You can best translate it yourselfe: and I leaue the warme application to the hoat Interpreter: with addition of that short, but weightie, and most re∣markable aduertisement;

Poenam Phaeton, pro munere poscis. Phaeton, thou desi∣rest thy ruine for thy aduauncement: and Martin, thou af∣fectest, thou wottest not what: a Discipline? a confusion: a Reformation? a deformation: a Salue? a plague: a Blisse? a curse: a Commonwealth? a Common-wo: a Happy, and Heauenly Church: a wretched, and hellish Synagoge. A∣mount in imagination as high, as the hawtiest conceit can aspire; and platforme the most-exquisite deseignes of pure Perfection, that the nicest curiositie can deuise: were not the wisest on your side, most-simplie simple in weying the Consequents of such antecedents, they would neuer so in∣consideratly labour their owne shame, the miserie of their brethren, the desolatiō of the Ministery, & the destructiō of the Church. Good Martin be good to the Church, to the Ministery, to the state, to thy country, to thy patrons, to thy frends, to thy brethren, to thiselfe: and as thou loouest thi∣selfe, take heede of old Puritanisme, new Anabaptisme, & finall Barbarisme. Thou art young in yeares, I suppose: but younger in enterprise, I am assured. Thy age in some sort pleadeth thy pardon: and couldest thou with any rea∣sonable temperance aduise thiselfe in time, as it is high time to assuage thy stomachous and ouerlashing outrage; there be fewe wise men of qualitie, but would pittie thy rash proceeding, and impute thy wanton seurrilous Veine to want of Experience, and Iudgement, which is seldome ripe in the Spring. I will not stand to examine the Spirite, that speaketh, or endighteth in such a phrase: but if that were the tenour of a godly, or zealous stile, methinkes some other Sainct, or godly man, should someway haue vsed the like elocution before: vnlesse you meant to be as singular in your forme of writing, as in your manner of censuring; & to publish as graue an Innouation in wordes,

as in other matters. Some spirituall motion it was, that caused you so sensiblie to applie your rufling speach, and whole method, to the feeding and tickling of that hu∣mour, that is none of the greatest studentes of Diuinitie, vnlesse it be your Diuinitie; nor any of the likelyest crea∣tures to aduaunce Reformation, vnlesse it be your Refor∣mation. But whatsoeuer your motion were, or howsoe∣uer you perfuaded yourselfe, that a plausible and roisterly course would winne the harts of good fellowes, and make ruffians become Precisians, in hope to mount higher then Highgate, by the fall of Bishopfgate; some of your well wil∣lers hold a certaine charitable opiniō, that to reforme your∣selfe, were your best Reformatiō. Good Discipline would doe many good; and doe Martin no harme; had he leysure from trainyng of other, to trayne himselfe, and as one ter∣med it, to trimme his owne beard. Howbeit in my Me∣thod, Knowledge would go before Practise, and Doctrine before Discipline. I challenge 〈◊〉〈◊〉, or none for learning, which I rather looue as my 〈◊〉〈◊〉, or 〈◊〉〈◊〉 as my Patron, then professe as my Facultie: but some approoued good Schollars of both Vniuersities, and some honorable wise∣men of a higher 〈◊〉〈◊〉, take 〈◊〉〈◊〉 to be none of the greatest Clarkes in England; and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, how he should presume to be a Doctour of Discipline, that hath much-a∣doe to shewe himselfe a Master of Doctrine. For mine owne part, I hope he is a better Doctrinist, then Discipli∣nist: or else I must needes 〈◊〉〈◊〉; Pride is a busie man, and a deepet Counsellour of 〈◊〉〈◊〉, then of himselfe. 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 become publique persons; and may doe well in some other, being well employed: but 〈◊〉〈◊〉 per∣sons, and the common erewes of Platformers, might haue most vse of priuate designements, appropriat to their owne

Vocation, Profession, or qualitie. When I finde Martin as neat a reformer of his owne life, as of other mens act•…•…, it shal go hard, but I wil in 〈◊〉〈◊〉 measure proportion my cō∣mendation to the singularitie of his desert; which I would be glad to crowne with a garland of present, and a diademe of future prayse. For I long to see a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 without a creast; and would 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, to 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 without a fault; or onely with such a fault, as for the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 should deserue, or for the strangenesse might challenge, to be. Chronicled, like the Eclipse of the Sunne. The State De∣monstratiue, not ouerlaboured at 〈◊〉〈◊〉 would 〈◊〉〈◊〉 be employed in blasoning a creature of such perfections: and the very soule of Charitie 〈◊〉〈◊〉 to drinke of that cleere Aqua Vitae. It is not the first time, that I haue prefer∣red a Gentleman of deedes, before a Lord of wordes: and what if I once by way of familiar discourse sayd? I was a Protestant in the Antecedent, but a Papist in the Conse∣quent: for I liked Faith in the Premisses, butwished works in the Conclusion: as S. Paul beginneth with Iustification, but endeth with Sanctification: & the Schoolemen recon∣cile many Confutations in one distinction; We are iusti∣fied by Faith apprehensiuely; by Workes declaratiuely; by the bloud of Christ, effectiuely. I hope, it is no euillsigne, for the flower to floorish, for the tree to fructifie, for the fier to warme, for the Sunne to shine, for Truth to embrace Vertue, for the Intellectuall good to practise the Morall good, for the cause to effect. He meant honestly, that said merrily; He tooke S. Austins, & S. Gregories by Pauls, to be the good frendes of S. Faithes vnder Paules. What needeth more? If your Reformation be such a restoratiue, as you pretende; what letteth, but the world should pre∣sently behold a Visible difference betweene the fruites of

the pure, and the corrupt diet? Why ceaseth the heauenly Discipline, to perme her owne Apologie, not in one or two scribled Pamflets of counterfait Complements, but in a thousand liuing Volumes of heauenly Vertues? Di∣uine Causes were euer wont to fortifie themselues, and weaken their aduersaries, with diuine Effectes, as conspi∣cuous as the brightest Sunne-shine. The Apostles, and Primitiue founders of Churches were no railers, or scof∣fers: but painfull trauailers, but Zelous Preachers, but hol∣ly liuers, but fayre-spoken, mild, and loouing men, euen like Moses, like Dauid, like the sonne of Dauid; the three gentlest 〈◊〉〈◊〉, that 〈◊〉〈◊〉 walked vpon Earth. Whereso∣euer they became, it appeared by the whole manner of their meeke, and sweet proceeding, that they had bene the seruants of a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Lord; and the Disciples of a sweet Ma∣ster: in 〈◊〉〈◊〉, that many 〈◊〉〈◊〉, which knew not God, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 them, as the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, or Oratours of some God; and were 〈◊〉〈◊〉 persuaded, to conceiue a diuine opinion of him, whom they so diuinely Preached; & euen to beleeue, that he could be no lesse, then the sonne of the great God. Their miracles got the harts of 〈◊〉〈◊〉: but then Sermons, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, were greater won. ders, then their miracles, and woon more raulshed soules to heauen. Then Doctrine was full of power: their Di∣scipline full of Charitie: their Eloquence celestiall: their Zeale 〈◊〉〈◊〉: their Life 〈◊〉〈◊〉: their Conuersa∣tion 〈◊〉〈◊〉 their Profession, Humilitie; their Practise, 〈◊〉〈◊〉; their 〈◊〉〈◊〉, Humilitie. Read the sweet 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, replenished with many cordiall narrations of their 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Vertues: and peruse the most rigorous Censures of their professed enemies, Plinie, 〈◊〉〈◊〉, Tacitus, Antoninus, Symachus; Lucian, Liba∣nius,

Philostratus, Eunapius, or any like, Latinist; or Gre∣cian, (I except not Porphyrie, Hierocles, or Iulian him∣selfe) and what Christian, or heathen iudgement, with any indifferencie can denie, but they alwayes demeaned themselues, like well-affected, faire-conditioned, inno∣cent, and kinde persons; many wayes gratious, and some∣wayes admirable Peace was them warre: Vnitie their multiplication: good wordes, and good deedes, their edi∣fying instruments: a generall humanitie toward all, where∣soever they trauailed; and a speciall beneficence toward 〈◊〉〈◊〉 one, with whom they conuersed, one of their Soue∣rain meanes, for the Propagation of Christianitie. They knew his mercifull, and Godfull meaning, that in an infi∣nite and incomprehensible looue, descended from heauen to saue all vpon Earth; and remembred how gratiously his diuine Selfe 〈◊〉〈◊〉, to conuerse with Publicans, and o∣ther sinners: what a sweet, and peerlesse Example of hum∣blest Humilitie he gaue his Disciples, when with his owne immaculate handes he washed their feete: how appliably he framed himselfe to the proper disposition of euery Na∣tion, in drawing vnto him the Magicians of the East, with the wondrous sight of a new Starre; in moouing the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 with miracles, and Parables; in shewing himselfe a Pro∣phet, & the very Messias, to the Samaritans; in sending elo∣quent Paule to the eloquent Grecians, Zealous Peter to the deuout Hebrues, and vertuous Romans, his brother Andrew to the stout Scythians, incredulous 〈◊〉〈◊〉 as to the infidell Parthians, and so forth: what a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 and precious deare Testament he left behinde him, and with how vnspeakable fauour he bequeathed and disposed the rich hereditaments, and inestimable gooddes of his king∣dome: how neerly it concerned the members of one bo∣dy,

without the least intestine disagreement, or faction, to tender and cherish one another with mutuall indulgence: how frutefully the militant Church had already encreased by Concord, like a Plant of the triumphāt Church, whose blissefull consort incomparably passeth the sweetest har∣monie. The effect of such diuine motions was heauenly: and whiles that celestiall course continued, with an inuio∣lable consent of Vnited mindes, euen in some dissension of opinions, (for there was euer some difference in opini∣ons) the Gospell reigned, and the Church floorished mi∣raculously. It would make the hart of Pietie, to weepe for ioyfull compassion, to remember how the Bloud of those, and those most-patient, but more glorious Martyrs, that might be slaine, but not vanquished, was the Seede of the Church. The Church, that grew victorious, and migh∣tie, by the beheading of Paule, and Iames; by the crucify∣ing of Peter, Andrew, Philip, and Simon; by the stoning of Stephen; by the burning of Marke, and Barnabas; by the flaying of Bartholmew; by the murdering of Thomas with a dart, of Mathew with a sword, of Matthias with an axe, of Iames Alphaeus with a club; of how many renow∣ned Martyrs with how many cruell and tyrannicall tor∣ments; immortall monuments of their inuincible Faith, and most honorable Constancie. When Asperitie, and Discorde, degenerating from that Primitiue order; tooke an other course, and began to proceede, more like Furies of hell, then Saincts of the Church, or honest neighbours of the world: alas, what followed? And vnlesse we retire to our principles, although mischief vpon mischief be bad enough, yet ruine vpon ruine will be worse. It is not a ruf∣fianly stile, or a tumultuous plot, that will amend the mat∣ter: some Apostolicall vertues would doe well; and that∣same

Euangelicall humilitie were much-worth. In the meane season, suerly reuerend Bishops, and learned Do∣ctours, albeit corruptible men, should be meeter to admi∣nister or gouerne Churches, then lustie Cutters, or insuffi∣cient Plotters, albeit reformed creatures. Sweet Martin, aswell Iunior, as Senior, (for Iuniours, and Seniours are all one, as old Master Raye sayd in his maioraltie) and you sweet whirlewinds, that so fiercely besturr you at this in∣stant; now agayne, and agayne I beseech you, either be content to take a sweeter course; or take all for me. My In∣terest in these causes is small: and howsoeuer some busie heades looue to set themselues aworke, when they might be otherwise occupied, yet by their fauours, there is a cer∣taine thing, that passeth all Vnderstanding; which I com∣mend Vniuersally vnto all, especially vnto my frends, and singularly vnto miselfe. Nulla salus bello: pacem te poscimus omnes. No Law to the Feciall Law; nor any Conquest to Pacification. Would Christ, Reformation could be entrea∣ted to begin at itselfe; and Discipline would be so good, as to shew by example of her owne house, where she inhabi∣teth, and consorteth, what a Precious, and heauenly thing it were for a whole kingdome, to liue in such a celestiall harmony of Pure Vertues, and all perfections. Theoricks, and Idees are quickly imagined in an aspiring phantasie: but an inuiolable Practise of a diuine excellencie in hu∣mane frailtie, without excesse, defect, or abuse, doubtlesse were a Christall worth the seeing, and a glorious Mirrour of eternall Imitation. When Contemplation hath a little more Experience, it shall finde, that Action is scantly so smooth, and nimble a creature, as Speculation: two nota∣ble Presidēts in Concreto, more rare, then twentie singular Types in abstracto: they that shoote beyonde the marke in

imagination, come short in tryall: good intētions were ne∣uer too-rife, & the best intentiēs haue gone astray. All men are not of one mould: there is as great difference of Mi∣nisters, and Aldermen, as of other persons: euen where the spirite is strong, the flesh is sometime founde weake enough: and the world, is a world of temptations, mur∣murings, offences, quarrels, trespasses, crimes, and conti∣nuall troubles in one sort, or other.

If the precisest, and most scrupulous Treatises, haue much-adooe to vphold the credit of any perfection, or estimation, with their owne associats; (how many heads, so many plottes) what may Reason conceiue of the assu∣rance, or maturitie of their iudiciall, or other morall Pro∣ceedings in Esse? When His, and His Scripture, after some prettie pausing, is become Apocryphall with his, and his owne adherents, whose writing was Scripture with ma∣ny of them; how can any of them ascertaine, or resolue themselues of the Canonicall incorruption, or autenticall omnisufficiencie of his, or his actuall gouernement? When euen He, that within these fewe yeares was alledged for Text, hath so emprooued his autoritie with a number of his feruentest brethren, that he will now be scantly al∣lowed for a current Glosse; why should defeated Affe∣ction any longer delude itselfe with a preiudicate & vayne imagination of an Alchimisticall Discipline, not so sweet in conceit, as sower in proofe; and as defectiue in needfull prouision, as excessiue in 〈◊〉〈◊〉 presumption? If Second cogitations be riper, and sounder, then the first; may not Third, or Fourth consultations take more & more aduisement? If Bishops-gate be infected, is it vnpossible for Alders-gate to be attainted? and if neither can be long cleere in an Vniuersall plague of Corruption, what reason

hath Zeale to fly from Gods blessing into a warme Sunne? What a wisedome were it, to chaunge for the worse? or what a notorious follie were it, to innouate, without in∣fallible assurance of the better? What Politique state, or considerate people, euer laboured any Alteration, Ciuill, or Ecclesiasticall, without Pregnant euidence of some sin∣gular, or notable Good, as certaine in consequence, as im∣portant in estimation? To be short, (for I haue already bene ouer-long, and shall hardly qualifie those headdie younkers with any Discourse) had Martin his lust, or Pen∣ry his wish, or Vdal his mynde, or Browne his will, or Ket his phansie, or Barrow his pleasure, or Greenwood his harts-desire, or the freshest Practitioners their longing, (euen to be Iudges of the Consistorie, or Fathers Con∣script of the Senate, or Domine fac totum, or themselues wott not what); there might fall-out fiue hundred practi∣cable cases, and a thousand disputable questions in a yeare, (the world must be reframed anew, or such points deci∣ded) wherewith they neuer disquieted their braynes, and wherein the learnedest of them could not say A. to the Arches, or B. to a Battledore. If the grauer motioners of Discipline (who nodoubt are learneder men, and might be wiser: but M. Trauers, M. Cartwright, Doctour Chap∣man, and all the grayer heads begin to be stale with these Noouellists) haue bethought themselues vpon all cases, and cautels in Practise, of whatsoeuer nature, and haue thorowly prouided against all possible mischieffs, incon∣ueniences, and irregularities, aswell future, as present; I am glad they come so well prepared: suerly some of the earnestest and egrest sollicitours, are not yet so furnished. Wordes are good fellowes, and merry men: but in my poore opinion, it were not amisse for some sweating, and

fierce dooers at this instant, that would downe with Cle∣ment, and vp with Hildebrand, either to know more at home, or to sturr lesse abroad. It is no trifling matter in a Monarchie, to hoise-vp a new Autoritie, like that of the Iewish Consistorie aboue Kinges, or that of the Lacede∣monian Ephorie aboue Tyrants, or that of the Romane Senate aboue Emperours. Howbeit if there be no reme∣die, but M. Fier must be the Pastour, M. Aier the Doctour, goodman Water the Deacon, and goodman Earth the Alderman of the Church; let the young Calfe, and the old Asse draw Cuttes, whither of their heads shall weare the garland. And thus much in generalitie touching Mar∣tinizing, being vrged to defend it, if I durst: but for feare of indignation I durst not. The seuerall particularities, and more gingerly nicityes of rites, signes, termes, and what not? I referre to the discussion of professed Deuines; or re∣serue for more ley sure, and fitter occasion.

As for that new-created Spirite, whom double V. like an other Doctour Faustus, threateneth to coniure-vpp at leysure, (for I must returne to the terrible creature, that subscribeth himselfe Martins Double V. and will needes also be my Tittle-tittle) were that Spirite disposed to ap∣peare in his former likenesse, and to put the Necromancer to his purgation, he could peraduenture make the coniu∣ring wisard for sake the center of his Circle, and betake him to the circumference of his heeles. Simple Creature, iwis thou art too-young an Artist to coniure him vp, that can ex∣orcise thee downe: or to lamback him with ten yeares prepa∣ration, that can lamskin thee with a dayes warning. Out vpon thee for a cowardly lambacker, that stealest-in at the backe doore; and thinkest to filch aduantage on the back∣wing.

Knaues are backbiters; whores bellybiters; and both sheepebiters. Pedomancie fitter for such Coniurers, then either Chiromancie, or Necromancie, or any Familiar Spirite, but contempt. It is some-boddyes fortune, to be baunted with backfreendes: and I could report a straunge Dialogue betwixt the Clarke of Backchurch, and the Chaunter of Pancridge, that would make the better vi∣sard of the two to blush: but I fauour modest eares; and a thousand honest tongues will iustifie it to thy face, Thou art as itwere a grose Idiot, and a very Asse in presenti, to imagine that thou couldest go scotfree in this fawcy recko∣ning, although the partie coniured should say nothing, but Mum. Honestie goeth neuer Vnbacked: and Truth is a sufficient Patron to itselfe: and I know One, that hath written a Pamflet, intituled Cock-alilly, or, The white son of the Black Art. But he that can massacre Martins wit, (thou remembrest thine owne phrase) can rott Pat-hatchets braine: and he that can tickle Mar-prelate with taunts, can twitch double V. to the quicke: albeit he threaten no lesse, then the siege of Troye in his Note-booke, and his penne resounde, like the harnessed woombe of the Troian horse. I haue seene a broad sword stand at the doore, when a poinado hath entered: and although I am neither V∣lysses, nor Outis, yet perhaps I can tell, how No-boddy may doe, that someboddy cannot doe. Polyphemus was a mightie fellow, and coniured Vlysses companions into excrements: (fewe Giants euer so hideous, as Polyphe∣mus): but poore Outis was euen with him, aud No-bod∣dy coniured his goggle eye, as well. I prey-thee sweet Pap, insult not ouer-much vpon quiet men: though my penne be no-boddy at a hatchet, and my tongue lesse then no-boddy at a beetle; yet Patience looueth not to be made

a cart of Croiden; and no such libbard for a liuely Ape, as fordead Silence. The merry Gentleman deuiseth to dis∣port himselfe, and his Copesmates, with a pleasurable con∣ceit of quaking eares: and all my workes, at least six sheetes in quarto, called by miselfe, The first tome of my familiar Epistle: two impudent lyes, and so knowen notoriously. He might as truly forge any lewd, or villanous report of any man in England; and for his labour challenge to be preferred to the Clarkship of the whetstone: which he is hable to main∣taine sumptuously, with a mint of queint, and Vncouth Similes, daintie monsters of Nature. I must deale plainly with the Spawne of rāke Calumnie: his knauish, & foolish malice palpably bewrayeth it self in most-odious fictions; meet to garnish the foresayd famous office of the whet∣stone. But what sayth his owne couragious Penne, of his owne aduenturous eares? If ripping-vp of Liues make sport, haue with thee knuckle deepe: it shal neuer be sayd, that I dare not venter myne eares, where Martin hazards his necke. Some men are not so prodigall of their eares, how lauish soeuer Martin may seeme of his necke: & albeit euery mā cannot compile such graund Volumes as Euphues, or reare such mightie tomes, as Pap hatchet; yet he might haue thought, other poore men-haue tongues, and pennes to speake something, when they are prouoked vnreasona∣bly. But loosers may haue their wordes, and Comedians their actes: such drie bobbers can lustely strike at other, and cunningly rapp themselues. He hath not played the Vicemaster of Poules, and the Foolemaster of the Thea∣ter for naughtes: himselfe a mad 〈◊〉〈◊〉, as euer twangd, ne∣uer troubled with any substance of witt, or circumstance of honestie, sometime the fiddle-sticke of Oxford, now the very bable of London, would fayne forsooth haue

some other esteemed, as all men value him. A workeman is easely descried by his termes: euery man speaketh accor∣ding to his Art: I am threatened with a Bable, and Martin menaced with a Comedie: a fit motion for a Iester, and a Player, to try what may be done by employmēt of his fa∣cultie: Bables & Comedies are parlous fellowes to decipher, and discourage men, (that is the Point) with their wittie flowres, and learned Ierkes; enough to lash any man out∣of countenance. Na, if you shake the painted scabbard at me, I haue done: and all you, that tender the preserua∣tion of your good names, were best to please Pap-hatchet, and fee Euphues betimes: for feare lesse he be mooued, or some One of his Apes hired, to make a Playe of you; and then is your credit quite-vndone for euer, and euer: Such is the publique reputation of their Playes. He must needes be discouraged, whom they decipher. Bet∣ter, anger an hundred other, then two such; that haue the Stage at commaundement, and can furnish-out Vices, and Diuels at their pleasure. Gentlemen, beware of a chafing penne, that sweateth-out whole realmes of Paper, and whole Theaters of Iestes: tis auenture, if he dye not of the Paper∣sweat, should he chaunce to be neuer so litle ouerchafed. For the Iest-dropsie is not so peremptorie. But no point of Cunning, to the Tale of the Tubb: that is the profounde mysterie, and the very Secret of Secrets. The sweet Si∣sters Answer, that in her conscience thought Lecherie the Su∣perficies of sinne, (a rare word with women, but by her aun∣swer she should seeme to be learned): the true Tale of one of Martins godly sonnes, that hauing the Companie of one of his sisters in the open fieldes, said he would not smoother-vp sinne, and deale in hugger-mugger against his conscience: (the Histo∣riographer hath many priuie intelligences): the sober tale

of the Eldest Elder, that receiued fortie Angels at his Table, where he sat with no lesse then fortie good dishes of the greatest dainties, in more pompe, then a Pope: (he was not of the star∣ued Pythagorean, or Platonicall diet: but liberall exhibi∣tion may maintaine good hospitalitie): the Zelous Looue∣letter, or Corinthian Epistle to the widow, as honest a woman, as euer burnt malt: (the wooer, or the Register of Aretines Religion): the holie Othe of the Martinist, that thinking to sweare by his conscience, swore by his Concupiscence: (did not he forget himselfe, that expresly affirmed? Martin will not sweare: but with Indeede, In sooth, and In truth, bele cogg the dye of deceit:) these, and the rest of those bawdie Inuen∣tions, wherewith that brothellish Pamflet floweth, smell somewhat strongly of the Pumpe; and shewe the credibi∣litie of the Autor, that dareth alledge any impudent, pro∣phane, or blasphemous fiction to serue his turne. So he may soone make-vp the autenticall Legendary of his Hun∣dred merrie Tales: as true peraduenture, as Lucians true narrations; or the heroicall historyes of Rabelais; or the braue Legendes of Errant Knights; or the egregious prankes of Howleglasse, Frier Rush, Frier Tuck, and such like; or the renowned Bugiale of Poggius, Racellus, Lus∣cus, Cincius, and that whole Italian crew of merry Secre∣taryes in the time of Pope Martin the fift; of whom our worshipfull Clarkes of the whetstone, Doctour Clare, Doctour Bourne, M. Scoggin, M. Skelton, M. Wake∣field, diuers late Historiologers, and haply this new Tale∣founder himselfe, learned their most-wonder-full facul∣tie. Committing of matrimonie; carousing the sapp of the Church; cutting at the bumme Carde of conscience; besmearing of conscience; spelling of Our Father in a horne booke; the railing Religion; and a whole sinke of such arrant phrases, sauour

whotly of the same Lucianicall breath, & discoouer the mi∣nion Secretarie aloofe. Faith, quoth himselfe, thou wilt be caught by thy stile: Indeede what more easie, then to finde the man by his humour, the Midas by his eares, the Calfe by his tongue, the goose by his quill, the Play-maker by his stile, the hatchet by the Pap? Albertus Secrets, Pog∣gius Fables, Bebelius iestes, Scoggins tales, Wakefields lyes, Parson Darcyes knaueries, Tarletons trickes, Elder∣tons Ballats, Greenes Pamflets, Euphues Similes, double V^s phrases, are too-well knowen, to go vnknowen. Where the Veine of Braggadocio is famous, the arterie of Pappadocio cannot be obscure. Gentlemen, I haue giuē you a tast of his Sugerloafe, that weeneth Sidneyes dain∣tyes, Aschams cōfites, Cheekes succats, Smithes cōserues, and Mores iunkets, nothing comparable to his pap. Some of you dreamed of Electuaryes of Gemmes, and other pre∣cious restoratiues; of the quintessence of Amber, & Pearle dissolued, of I wott not what incredible delicacies: but his Gemmemint is not alwayes current; and as busie men, so painted boxes, and gallipots must haue a Vacation. Yet wellfare the sweet hart of Dia-pap, Dia-fig, and Dia-nut, three soueraine Defensatiues of the Commonwealth, and three cordiall Comfortatiues of the Church. It is a good hearing, when good fellowes haue a care of the Com∣monwealth, and the Church: and a godly motion, when Interluders leaue penning their pleasurable Playes, to be∣come Zealous Ecclesiasticall writers. Bona fide, some haue written notablie against Martinisme: (it were a busie taske for the crediblest Precisian, to empeach the credit of Do∣ctour Bancroft, or Doctour Sutcliff): but this Mamma∣day hath excellently knocked himselfe on the sconse with his owne hatchet. I will cast-away no more inke vpon a

Compounde of simples. The Pap is like the hatchet: the fig like the nut: the Country-cuff like the hangmans a∣pron: the dog like the dog: Iohn Anoke, and Iohn Astile like the baily of Withernam: the signe of the Crabtre cud∣gell like twackcoate Lane: Martins hanging like Pappado∣cios mowing: Huff, Ruff, and Snuffe, the three tame ruffians of the Church, like double V: neuer a laye in the barrell, better herring: the beginning, the midst, and the end, all in one pickle. Some roses amongst prickes, doe well: and some lillyes amongst thornes, would haue done no harme. But Enuie hath no fansie to the rose of the gar∣den: and what careth Malice for the lilly of the Valley? Would, fayre Names were spelles, and charmes against fowle Affections: and in some respectes I could wish, that Diuinitie would giue Humanitie leaue to conclude o∣therwise, then I must. I could in curtesie be content, and in hope of Recōciliation desirous, to mitigate the harshest sentences, and mollifie the hardest termes. But can Truth lye: or Discretion approoue follie: or Iudgement allowe Vanitie: or Modestie abide Impudencie: or good man∣ners sooth bad speaches: He that penned the abooue∣mentioned Cock-alilly, saw reason to display the Black Ar∣tist in his collier coolours: and thought it most-vnreaso∣nable, to suffer such light and emptie vessels, to make such a lowde, and prowde rumbling in the ayre. Other had rather heare the learned Nightingale, then the Vnlearned Parrat; or tast the wing of a Larke, then the legge of a Ra∣uen. The finest wittes preferre the loosest period in M. Ascham, or Sir Philip Sidney, before the tricksiest page in Euphues, or Pap-hatcher. The Muses, shame to remem∣ber some freshe quaffers of Helicon: and which of the Graces, or Vertues blusheth not, to name some lustie to∣spots

of Rhetorique? The stately Tragedie scorneth the trifling Comedie: and the trifling Comedie flowteth the new Ruffianisme. Wantonnesse was neuer such a swill∣bowle of ribaldry: nor Idlenesse euer such a carowser of Knauerie. What honest mynde, or Ciuill disposition, is not accloied with thesenoisome, & nasty gargarismes? Where is the polished & refined Eloquence, that was wont to be∣deck, and embellish Humanity? Why should learning be a niggard of his excellent gifts, when Impudencie is so pro∣digall of his rascall trish-trash? What daintie, or neat Iudge∣ment beginneth not to hate his old looue, and loath his auncient delight, the Presse, the most-honorable Presse, the most-villanous Presse? Who smileth not at those, and those trim-trammes of gawdie wittes, how floorishing Wittes, how fading witts? Who laugheth not at Il'e, Il'e, Il'e; or gibeth not at some hundred Pibalde fooleryes, in that harebraind Declamation? They whom it neerelyest pincheth, cannot silence their iust disdaine: and I am for∣cibly vrged to intimate my whole Censure, though with∣out hatred to the person, or derogation from any his com∣mendable gift, yet not without speciall dislike of the bad matter, and generall condemnation of the vile forme. The whole Worke, a bald Toy, full of stale, and wood∣den Iestes; and one of the most paltry thinges, that euer was published by graduate of either Vniuersitie; good for nothing but to stop mustard pottes, or rub gridirons, or feather rattes neastes, or such like homely vse. For Sta∣tioners are already too-full of such Realmes, and Com∣monwealthes of Wast-paper; and finde more gaine in the lilly pot blanke, then in the lilly pot Euphued: a day, or two fine for sheetes, and afterward good for grosers: Vanitas vanitatum, the fome of grudge, the froth of leuitie, the

scum of corruption, and the very scurfe of rascallitie: no∣thing, worthy a Schollar, or a Ciuill Gentleman: alto∣gether phantasticall, and fonde, without ryme, or reason: so odly hudled, and bungled togither, in so madbraine sort, and with so brainesicke stuffe, that in an Ouerflowe of so many friuolous, and ridiculous Pamflets, I scarsely know any One in all points, so incomparably vayne and absurde, whereunto I may resemble that most toyishe and piperly trifle, the fruite of an addle, and lewd wit, long-since de∣dicated to a dissolute, and desperate Licentiousnesse. Oh what a Magnifico would he be, were his purse as heauie, as his head is light, and his hart franke? Euen thatsame Very Mirrour of Madnesse, hangeth togither with some more coherence of reason; and smelleth not so rankly of the Tauerne, the Alehouse, the Stewes, the Cuckingstoole, or other such honest places, as that drunkē, and shamelesse Declamation; Vnbeseeming any, but an Oratour of Bed∣lam, a Rhetorician of Bridewell, or Discourser of Prime∣rose hill. And although thatsame Frēch Mirrour, be ex Pro∣fesso deuised in a mad garish Veyne, and stuffed with geere homely enough, fit for a Libertine & frantique Theame: yet doth it no so basely borrow of the Ruffians bagge, the Tapsters spigot, the Pedlars pack, the Tinkars bugget, the Knaues trusse, and the Roges fardle: vnto all which, and other Autors of like reputation, but chiefly to the Hang∣mans apron, (that, that is the biggin of his wit), this wor∣thy Autour is deeply beholding for great part of his fine conceits, and dainty learning; precious ware for Euphued creatures, and phantasticall colrs: whose wild and mad∣braine humour nothing fitteth so iust, as the stalest dud∣gen, or absurdest balductum, that they, or their mates can inuent, in odd and awke speaches, disguisedly shapen af∣ter

the antick fashion, & monstrously shorne, like old Cap∣taine Listers spānel. They that affect such ruffianish braue∣ryes, and deuide their roisterdoistring Iestes into Cuttes, slashes, and foines, may bestow the reading: for any other of whatsoeuer qualitie, or calling, it will do them asmuch good, as dirt in their shooes, or draffe in their bellyes: and in good sooth there is all the vse, Ciuill, or Ecclesiasticall, that I can finde of this Babees papp: whom for his sweet interteinement with papp, figg, and nut, I officiously re∣commende to the Ship of Fooles, and the Galeasse of knaues. When he vseth himselfe with more modestie, and his friendes with more discretion, I may alter my stile: (let him chaunge, and I am chaunged): or if already he be ashamed of that coniuring leafe, foisted-in like a Bum∣carde, I haue sayd nothing. Till he disclaimeth his iniu∣rie, in Print; or confesseth his ouersight, in writing; or sig∣nifieth his Penitence, in speach: the abused partie, that had reason to set-downe the Premisses without fauour, hath cause to iustifie his owne hand without feare; and is aswell in equitie to auowe Truth, as in charitie to disauowe Ma∣lice. At Trinitie hall: this fift of Nouember: 1589.

SO then of Pappadocio: whom neuer∣thelesse I esteeme a hundred times learne∣der, and a thousand times honester, then this other Braggadocio; that hath more learning, then honestie, and more mo∣ney, then learning, although he truly in∣title himselfe, Pierce Penniles, and be elsewhere stiled the

Gentleman Raggamuffin. Nash, the Ape of Greene, Greene the Ape of Euphues, Euphues the Ape of Enuie, the three famous mammets of the presse, and my three no∣torious feudists, drawe all in a yoke: but some Schollars excell their masters; and some lustie bloud will do more at a deadly pull, then two, or three of his yokefellowes. It must go hard, but he wil emprooue himselfe, the incompa∣table darling of immortall Vanitie. Howbeit his frendes could haue wished, he had not showen himselfe to the world, such a ridiculous Suffenus, or Shakerly to himselfe, by aduauncing the triumphall garland vpon his owne head, before the least skermish for the victorie: which if he euer obtaine by any valiancie, or bravure, (as he wee∣neth himselfe, the valiantest and brauest Actour, that euer managed penne) I am his bondman in fetters, and refuse not the humblest vassalage to the sole of his boote. Much may be done by close confederacie, in all sortes of coose∣nage, and legierdemane: Monsieur Pontalais in French, or Messer Vnico in Italian, neuer deuised such a nipping Co∣medie, as might be made in English, of some leagers in the queint practiques of the Crosbiting Art: but I haue seene many Bearwardes, and Butchers in my time; and haue heard of the one, what belongeth to Apes; and haue lear∣ned of the other, not to be affrayde of a doosen horned beastes: albeit some one of them should seeme as dreadfull, as the furious dun Cowe of Dunsmore heath, the terri∣blest foman of Sir Guy. Aesops Oxe, though he be a suer ploughman, is but a slowe workeman: and Greenes Ape, though he be a nimble Iuggler, is no suer executioner. Yet well-worth the Master-Ape, and Captaine-mammet, that had a hatcher, aswell as Papp; a Country cuffe, aswell as a figge; a crabtree cudgell, aswell as a nutt; something of a

mans-face, with more of an Apes-face. Had his pen bene muzled at the first, as his mouth hath bene bunged since, these fresh Euphuistes would neuer haue aduentured vp∣on the whip, or the bobb: but Silence is a slaue in a chaine; and Patience the common Pack-horse of the world. Euen this brat of an Apesclogge, that can but mowgh with his mouth, gnash with his teeth, quauer with his ten bones, and brandish his goose-quill; presuming of my former suf∣ferance, layeth about him with the said quill, as if it were possessed with the sprite of Orlando Furioso, or would teach the clubb of Gargantua to speake English. For the flaile of Aiax distrawght, or the clubb of Hercules enraged, were but hedge-stakes of the old world; and vnworth the na∣ming in an age of puissance emprooued horriblie. The newest Legendes of most hideous exploits, may learne a new Art to kill cow men with peremptorie termes, and bugges-wordes of certaine death. Pore I must needes be plagued; plagued? na, brayed & squised to nothing, that am matched with such a Gargātuist, as can deuoure me quicke in a sallat; and thundreth more direfull threatnings against me, that onely touched him; then huge Polyphemus rored against Vlysses, that blinded him; or banning Virgill reared against Arius, that spoiled him. Genus irritabile Vatum. The generation of rauing Poets, is a swarme of gad-bees; and the anger of a moodie rimester, the furie of a Waspe. A mad Tiger, not like a mad Waspe; and a chafed Wildbore, not comparable to a chafed gad-bee. Take heede of the man, whom Nature hath marked with a gag-tooth; Art furni∣shed with a gag-tongue; and Exercise armed with a gag∣penne; as cruell and murdrous weapons, as euer drewe bloud. The best is, who hath time, hath life. He meaneth not to come vpon me with a cowardly stratageme of Scar∣borough

warning: he vseth a certaine gallant Homericall Figure, called Hysteron-proteron, or the Cart before the horse; & with a resolution menaceth the effect, before the Causes be begotten. When the iron Cart is made, and the fierie horses foled, they shall bring the mightie Battring∣ram of termes, and the great Ordinance of miracles, to towne: aske not then, how he will plague me. In the meane season, it is a woonder to see, how courageously he taketh∣on with his hostisses needles, and his botchers bodkins. In∣deede a good Souldiour will make a shrewd shift with any weapons: but it is a maruelous hart, that threatneth Ruine, ruine, ruine, with the dint of a bodkin, and the blade of an awle. Where such an other Rodomont, so furious, so va∣lorous, so redoutable? There is a peece of a good old Song, peraduenture as auncient, as the noble Legende of Syr Beuis, or Sir Launcelot du Lake:

Dubba-dubba-dubb, kill him with a clubb:

And he will not dye, kill him with a flye. He that made that Ryme in iest, little considered, what a gad-fly may doe in earnest. It is small wisedome, to contemne the smallest ene∣my: the gad-fly is a little creature; but some little creatures be stingers: neuer fauchon better managed, then some ti∣dy penneknifes: and what will he do, when he rusheth vp∣on me with the tempestuous Engins of his owne wit, that keepeth such a horrible coile with his Schoole-fellowes poinado? An Ape is neuer to seeke of a good face, to set vpon the matter. Blessed Euphues, thou onely happy, that hast a traine of such good countenances, in thy floorishing greene-motley liuery: miserable I, the vnhappiest on earth, that am left desolate. Ah, but that might be endured: eue∣ry mā is not borne, to be the leader of a bande: euery birde carrieth not Argus eyes displayed in her taile: Fame is not

euery boddies Sainct: to be forsaken, is no great matter; to be vtterly vndone, is miserable. That, and the Vnmer∣cifullest persecution that may be inuented, is cruelly pro∣claimed against quiet him, that was once thronged and pe∣stred with followers: but when he began to giue-ouer that greene haunt, and betooke himselfe to a riper Profession, Diomedes companions were changed into birdes. Times alter: and as Fortune hath more sectaries, then Vertue; so Pleasure hath more adherents, then Proffit: I had no soo∣ner shaken of my yoūg troupe, whō I could not associate as before, but they were festiually reinterteined by some nim∣ble wightes, that could take the aduantage of opportunitie (with good visages you may be suer), and had purposely lyne in waite to climbe in Print, by the fall of their Seni∣ours: like ambitious Planets, that enhaunse their owne di∣gnities, by the combustion, or retrogradation of their fel∣low-Planettes. Much good may that aduauncement doe them; and many daintie webbs may I see of those fine Spi∣ders: but although I dote vpon curious workemanship, yet I looue not artificiall poyson; and am almost angrie with the trimmest Spinners, when they extort venom out-of flowers, and will needes defile their friends Libraries with those encroching cobwebbs. I wis it were purer Euphu∣isme, to winne hoony out-of the thistle; to sweeten Alöe with sugar; to perfume the stinking Sagapenum with muske; and to mitigate the heat of Euforbium with the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of the lilly. Tush, you are a silly humanitian of the old world: that was the simplicitie of the age, that loued frend∣ship, more then gold, & esteemed euery thing fine, that was neat, & holesom: all was pure, that was seasoned with a litle salt; & all trimme, that was besprinkled with a fewe flowers: now the fiercest Gunpouder, and the rankest pikesawce,

are the brauest figures of Rhetorique in esse: and he the onely man at the Scriueners Pistoll, that will so incessantlie haunt the Ciuilian, and Deuine, that to auoide the hoat chase of his fierie quill, they shalbe constrained to ensconse themselues in an old Vrinall case. Giue me such a Bonifacius. Now well∣worth some termes of Aqua fortis at a pinch: and wellcome Vrinall case, a fit sconse for such valiant termes; and a meet Bulwarke against that fierie quill. I haue already felt his pulse; and cannot well cast his water, without an Vrinall, either old, or new: but an old Vrinall will not so handsom∣ly serue the turne: it would be as new, as the Capcase of Straunge Newes: but a pure mirrour of an impure stale; nei∣ther grose, the clearer to represent a grose substāce; nor green, the liuelyer to expresse some greene colours, & other wan∣ton accidents; nor anyway a harlot, the trulyer to discoouer the state of a harlatrie. I haue seene as hoat an Agent made a tame Patient; and gladd to ensconse the dregges of his shame in an old Vrinall. It is a blabb: but not euery mans blabb, that casteth a sheepes-eye out of a Calues-head; but a blabb with iudgement; but a blabb, that can make excre∣ments blush, and teach Chawcer to retell a Canterbury Tale. But such great Iudicials requier some little studdie: and S. Fame is disposed to make it Hallyday. She hath al∣ready put-on her wispen garland ouer her powting Cros∣cloth: and behold with what an Imperiall Maiestie she commeth riding in the ducking-chariot of her Triumphe. I was neuer so sicke of the milt, but I could laugh at him, that would seeme a merry man, & cannot for his life keepe∣in the breath of a fumish foole. Phy, long Megg of West∣minster would haue bene ashamed to disgrace her Sonday bonet with her Satterday witt. She knew some rules of Dc∣corum: and although she were a lustie bounsing rampe,

somewhat like Gallemella, or maide Marian, yet was she not such a roinish rannell, or such a dissolute gillian-flurtes, as this wainscot-faced Tomboy; that will needes be Dan∣ters Maulkin, and the onely hagge of the Presse. I was not wont to endight in this stile: but for terming his fellow Greene, as he was notoriously knowen, the Scriuener of Crosbiters; the founder of vgly othes, the greene master of the blacke art; the mocker of the simple world, et caetera: see, how the daggletaild rampalion bustleth for the frank∣tenement of the dunghill. I confesse, I neuer knew my In∣uectiue Principles, or confuting termes before: and per∣haps some better Schollars are nigh-hand as farre to seeke in the kinde rudiments, and proper phrases of pure Nashe∣rie. Why, thou errant Butter whore, (quoth he, or rather she) thou Cotqueane and scrattop of scolds, wilt thou neuer leaue affli∣cting a dead carcasse, continually read the Rethorique Lecture of Ramme ally? A wisp, a wisp, a wisp, ripp, ripp you kitchinstuffe wrangler. Holla Sir, sweeter wordes would do no harme. Doubtlesse these emphaticall termes of the ally, were layd asteepe for some other acquaintāce, not for me: (good fel∣lowes must be furnished with Oratorie, meete for their cō∣pany): but it is some mens euill lucke, to stūble in the way, when Will Summers weapon is ready drawen: and yet more possible for him to stay the swing of his eger hand, then for Maulkin to stay the dint of her moodie tongue; that can teach the Storme-winde to scould English; and pleadeth naturall possession of the Cuckingstoole. It is good pollicie, to yeeld to the furie of the tempest: (the re∣solutest harts are fayne to yeeld to the imperious Iurisdi∣ction of Stormes, and Shrewes): and the stamping feind, in the Hoat-house of her foming Oratorie, will haue the last word. Sweet Gossip, disquiet not your loouely selfe:

the dunghill, is your freehold; and the Cuckingstoole, your Copyhold: I know none so rank-minded, to enter vpon your proper possessions thy riot: and incase thou wilt needes also, be the Schoolemistris of Ramme-ally, cer∣tainly thou desirest but thy right; that canst read a Rheto∣torique, or Logique Lecture to Hecuba in the Art of ra∣uing, and instruct Tisiphone herselfe in her owne gnashing language. Other He-or She-drabs, of the curstest, or ven∣geablest rankes, are but dipped, or dyed in the Art: not such a Belldam in the whole kingdome of Frogges, as thy croking, and most clamorous Selfe. Euen Martins Vn∣brideled stile, and Pap-hatchets reastie eloquence, is but a curtaild iade to thy longtaild Colt. Let the Clocke strike: I haue lost more howers; and loose nothing, if I finde E∣quitie. Should the Butterwhore, besturre herselfe like an arrant Knight, and try all the conclusions of her cherne, she might peraduenture in some sort pay thee home with Schoolebutter: but vndoubtedly she should haue much a∣dooe, to stoppe thy Ouen-mouth with a lidde of Butter, that hast swapped-downe a pounde of Butter at a peece of a Breakefast, or else there be lyes; and art such a Witch for a cherne, or a cheese-presse, as is not to be founde in the Mallet of Witches, or in Monsieur Bodines Daemonoma∣nia. Three meales of a Lazarello, make the fourth a Wool∣ner: and it is a crauen frying-pan, that is affrayde of a But∣terwhore. No, no; the butterwhore is thy bondmaide in a bunch of keyes: and take heede syrrha, the Cheeseknaue be not her bondmā in a loade of logges. She commeth not of the bloud of the threateners: but kitchinstuffe, and a Co∣le-rake haue in times past bene of some familiar acquain∣tance: and it is a badd paier of Tonges, that cannot make as good sport at a pinch, as a paier of Bellowes. Though a

dish of buttered pease, be no great Warriour; yet a messe of buttered artichokes, may perhaps hold you some prettie tacke. Onely I barre thossame hoursonne vnlawfull termes, steeped in cisternes of Aqua fortis, and Gunpowder: and haue at you a gentle crash; when it shall please the Vrinall, and the Dairy, to giue me leaue to play, with a butter-fly. I doe you, the vttermost credit in the world, that am euer glad to seeke dilatorie excuses, and to craue a terme ad deli∣berandum. The fortune of the field, with pike, or penne, is like the lucke of Nauigation, or the hap of marriage: and I looue not greatly, to chopp vpon maine-chaunces. No∣thing Venture, nothing loose; none of the worst rules, or cautels for their securitie, that can tell Storyes of hap-ha∣zard; and haue knowen some gallants more hardie, then wise. Humanitie is desirous of Peace with the best; and of truce with the worst: and truly I neuer longed to fight it out with flat strokes, Vntill I must needesly needes: but if there be no remedy by treatie, or amicable composition, although I was euer a sloweworme in the Morning, yet I cannot abide to go to bedd with a Dromedarie. I cannot maruell enough, how the nimble Bee should be ingen∣dred of the sluggish Oxe, or the liuely waspe of the dead horse: but Nature is a miraculous, and omnipotent worke∣man; and I finde it true by Experience, that I must learne to imitate by Example, or preiudice miselfe by fauouring other. To preiudice, were a small matter, where the partie leuelleth at no great matter: but whē a mans credit is assaul∣ted with bugges-wordes, and his witt beleaguered with the euer-playing shott of the Presse; Wisedome must par∣don him, whom Follie assaileth; and Humanitie dispense with a necessary Apologie. I would I might make it a Pol∣licie, to make myaduersarie much, and much, and much

better, then he is: that I might reencounter him with the more reputation, or the lesse disparagement: but it is his glory, to shame himselfe notoriously; and he will needes proclaime his owne vanities in a thousand sentences, and whole Volumes of ribaldry; not to be read but vpon a muck-hill, or in the priuyest priuie of the Bordello. Let his Vices sleepe on a downe pillow: would, I could awa∣ken his Vertues; and stopp their mouthes, that wish me in sober earnest, not to foile my hands vpon such a contemp∣tible rascall; but to let the reckles Villain play with his own shaddow: (Truth is my witnesse, diuers honest men of good reckoning, and sundry worshipfull Gentlemen, haue aduised me in those very termes expresly): but sithence I cā doe him no good by perswasion, it were follie to suffer him to do me harme by detraction. You that are not ascertai∣ned of the lewd, and vile disposition of the man, imagin as fauorably of him, as Charitie can possibly conceiue of an impudent Railer, and a prophane mouth: but you, that can skill of learning, and looue Schollership, giue him his desert: do Equitie right, and him no wrong, that wron∣geth whom he listeth. They that haue leysure, to cast-a∣way, (who hath not some idle howers to loose?) may per∣use his guegawes with indifferency: and finde no Art, but Euphuisme; no witt, but Tarletonisme; no honesty, but pure Scogginisme; no Religion, but precise Marlowisme; no consideration, but meere Nashery: in briefe, no sub∣stance, but light feathers; no accidents, but lighter colours; no transcendents, but lightest phantasies; that sty abooue the highest region of the cloudes, and purpose to haue a saying to the man in the Moone. His mountaines of Ima∣gination, are too-apparent: his designements of Vanitie, too-visible: his plots of Ribaldry, too-palpable: his formes

of libelling, too-outragious: S. Fame, the goddesse of his deuotion: S. Blase, the idoll of his Zeale: S. Awdry, the lady of his loue: and the young Vicar of old S. Fooles, his ghostly Father. I haue heard of many notable prowde fooles: read of many egregious aspiring fooles: seene many hautie vayneglorious fooles: woondred at ma∣ny busie tumultuous fooles: but neuer sawe such a fa∣mous arrogant conceited foole, the very transcendent foole of the Ship; that hugely contemneth all the world, but his owne Flimflams; and against all Pollicie, ma∣keth his aduersary more then an Asse, and lesse then no∣thing; whose victory otherwise mought peraduenture haue seemed something. But to ouercrow an Asse, is a sory Conquest; and a miserable Trophy for so douty a Squier. There were wayes enough of aunswearing, or confuting, with varietie, and reason; to his owne credite, the satisfa∣ction of other, and my contentment: although hee had not desperately, and scurrilously broken-out into the fow∣lest and filthiest scurfe of odious termes, that Villany could inuent, or Impudency vtter. Iwis hee mought haue spied a difference, betweene staring, and starke-blinde; betwene raging, and starke-madd; betweene confuting, and rancke rayling in the grossest sort. Had hee seasoned his stile with the least spice of discretion, or tempered his vnmeasurable licentiousnesse with any moderation in the world; or hadd hee not most arrantly laboured, to shew himselfe the very brasen forhead of Impudency, and the iron mouth of Ma∣lediction, without all respect: he mought easily haue found me the calmest, and tractablest aduersary, that euer he pro∣uoked; as reasonable for him, as for miselfe, in causes of E∣quity; and as partiall to foe, as to freend, in controuersies of Trueth. But it is the topp-gallant of his brauest bravure, to

be a Creator of Asses, a Confuter of Asses, and a Conque∣rour of Asses: Asses are borne to beare; and Birdes to soare aloft. No winges, to the winges of Self-conceit; nor any sailes, to the sailes of wordes: but hagard winges are some∣times clipped; and hoised sayles oftentymes humbled. Wordes amoūt, like Castels of vapours, or pillars of smoke, that make a mighty showe in the Aier, and straight Vanish∣away. Howbeit Enuie, is a soking Register: and Spite, a Remembrancer of trust. That would be written in a glasse of wine, is otherwhiles founde in tables of marble, and in∣dentures of wainescot. The Oestridge can deuoure the rust of Iron; and the gall of present Obloquy may be bruc∣ked: but the note-booke of malice, is a monumēt of Tuch∣stone; and the memoriall of Feude, the clawe of an Ada∣mant. Pride swelleth in the penne of arrogancy: Vanitie bubleth in the mouth of folly: Rancour boileth in the hart of Vengeance: mischief hammereth in the head of Villa∣ny: and no such Art memoratiue, as a Crabtree deske. But in contempt of Pride, I will speake one prowde word: Vaine Nash, whom all posterity shall call vaine Nash, were thou the wisest man in England, thou wouldest not; or were thou the valiantest man in England, thou durst not haue written, as thou hast desperatly written, according to thy greene witt: but thou art the boldest bayard in Print; a hare-braind foole in thy head; avile swad in thy hart; a fowle lyer in thy throate; and a vaine-glorious Asse in thy pen: as I will prooue vpon the carkasse of thy wit, and cou∣rage, through-out all the Predicaments of proofe. I hate malice in miselfe: but looue not to be an Vpholster of stuf∣fed, and bombasted malice in other. And bicause thou termest me an old Fencer; (indeede I was once Tom Bur∣leys Schollar); and needest displing, asmuch as any rake∣hell

in England: Wheresoeuer I meete thee next, after my first knowledge of thy person, (not for mine owne reuēge, but for thy correction) I will make thee a simple foole, and a double swad, aswell with my hand, as with my tongue; & will engraue such an Epitaph, with such a Kyrieeleson vp∣on thy scull, as shall make thee remembred, when Syr Gawins scull shall be forgotten. Some bibber of Helicon, will deeme it worth eternall record. And if thou entreate me not the fayrer, (hope of amendment preuenteth many ruines), trust me, I will batter thy carrion to dirt, whence thou camst; & squise thy braine to sniuell, whereof it was curdled: na, before I leaue poudring thee, I will make thee sweare, thy father was a Ropemaker; and proclaime thi∣selfe, the basest drudge of the Presse; with such a straunge Confutation of thine owne straunge Newes, as shall bring Sir Vainglory on his knees; and make Master Impudency blush, like a Virgin. Thy witt already maketh buttons: but I must haue S. Fame disclaime her blacke Sanctus; and Nashes deuout Supplication to God, to forgiue Pierces reprobrate Supplication to the Diuell. It must be roundly done: or I will with a charme for a full stomacke, make the gorge of thy belching Rhetorique, & the paūch of thy sur∣fetting Poetry, fling figures vpward, and downeward. Phy, what neede that be spoken? True: there is choice enough of sweeter flowers; & neat Oratory interteineth neatest Ci∣uilitie; (what relish so pleasant, as the breath of Suada; or what smell so aromaticall, as the voyce of the Muses?) but the mouth of a rude Asse, can tast no other lettice; and the spawne of a beastly dogfish, will vnderstand no other lan∣guage but his owne. Fury must be tamed with Fury, ac∣cording to Homer, that teacheth the God of the field to strike home; obstinacy awed with obstinacy; force mastred

with force; threatnings cooled with threatnings; contempt aunswered in his owne toungue: and seeing the wild Colt is so vnreasonably lusty, I meane percase either to make his courage crowch forward, or his Art winch backward. I haue twentie and twentie charmes, for the breaking of stubborne iades, for the biting of mad dogges, for the stin∣ging of Scorpiōs, for the darting of Vrchins, for the haun∣ting of sprites, for the storming of tempestes, for the bla∣sting of lightning, for the ratling of thunder, and so forth; euen for the craking of an hundred Paphatchets, or a thou∣sand Greenes, or ten thousand Nashes Peagooses. And in case all happen to faile, (for it must be a mighty Exorcisme, that can coniure-downe Spite) I haue a Probatumest, of a rare and powerable vertue, that will hold the nose of his, or his conceit to the grindstone; and make gentle Villanie confesse, all the shreddes, and ragges of his slashingest termes, are worne to the stumpes. The desperate foole may clawbacke himselfe awhile: but it is possible, he may soone finde by sounde Experience; He brayeth open warre against him, that can bray the Asse-drumme in a morter; & stampe his Iewes-trumpe to Pindust. Tom Drumme, re∣concile thiselfe with a Counter-supplication: or suerly, it is fatally done; and thy S. Fame vtterly vndone world with∣out end. As sauory a Sainct, by the verdict of that excellent Gentlewoman, as the cleanely disbursing of the dirtpurse of Sir Gargantua, that made king Charlemaine, and his worthy Chiualry, laugh so mightily, that their heads aked eight dayes after. A meet Idoll for such a Beadman.

I haue digressed from my purpose, and wandred out-of my accustomed way: but when the buttermilke goeth on Pilgrimage, you must giue the butterwhere leaue to play the arrant knight a crash, and to make it ganging weeke for

once. Ganging weeke? na, a ganging day, I trow, is a large allowance; and enough to betire a poore stragling wench for all her bragges. Neuer sory lasse so pittifully aweary of her ragged petticote, and dagled taile; the tattered liuery of the confuting Gentleman. Let it go; and the wispe go with it. I honour the meekest Humility; but scorne the in∣folentest Arrogancy vnder my foote; and say to the highest Imagination of Vanity, Thou art a proude Fopp. When thou carriest thy witt loftiest, and prankest-vpp thy selfe∣looue in his gawdiest colours, Thou art but an Asses head, and a Peacockes taile. Looue other; and thou mayst be looued of other for pure Charity: hate other, and thou art one of the most odious paddes in the world: a Turke, for M. Aschams Archers to shoote-at; and a Iewes eye, for Christian needles. Now a little breathing pawse will do no harme.

Were not Malice as wilfull in maintaining abuse, as rash in offering thesame; & Arrogancy as obstinate in the Con∣clusion, as violent in the Premisses: I readily could, & wil∣lingly would vndertake a more temperate, and pleasing course: but the fairest offer is fowly contemned; the gent∣lest suite vnkindly repulsed; say I, what I can, malice wilbe itselfe; or do I, what I can, Arrogancy wilbe itselfe: and no other impression can sinke into the hart of Spite, or the eare of Pride, but instigations of Spite, or suggestions of pride. Other motiues, are meere simplicities: and euery treaty of pacification, or parly of reconciliation, the shaking of an as∣pen leafe. The Diuels Oratour, is an Heralde of warre, not a Legate of Peace: and his Dammes Poet, the rankest challēger at short, or long, that euer sent defiance in white, or blacke. To refuse the tryall, would in the common opi∣nion seeme a shame; to accept the offer, in the best iudge∣ments

is a shame: to take the foile, were a discredit; to giue the foile, is no credit. A hard case, where Patience may be supposed simple, and auengement will be reputed vnwise; where I cannot hold my peace without warre vpon warre, nor speake without blame vpon blame; where I must either be a passiue, or an actiue Asse in Print. I stand not vpon the point of honour, or vpon termes of reputation: but as it is a glory for the inferiour, to offer the combat, like the Chā∣pion of prowes, or the Duellist of courage; so I would the superiour might refuse that without preiudice, which he cannot vndertake without disparagement, or performe without obloquie. To spoile Pierce Penniles, were a poore booty: and to make Thomas Nash kisse the rod (by her fa∣uour, that hath pleasurably made him a Sultā Tomūboius, & another Almānus Hercules, the great Captaine of the Boyes) were as sory a victory; but only in her Bello Euboico, or in her main-battaile of Scouldes. Yet seeing he prouoketh me so malapertly hand to hand; & seeing the infancy of his fancy will not otherwise be weaned from his cranke cōceit: bet∣ter such a victory with some inconuenience, (for I hope, I may without arrogancy presume of the victory) then con∣tinuall disturbance with more and more mischief. Hector neuer raged amongst the Grecians, nor Achilles amongst the Troians; as Meridarpax, the most furious, and thrise∣redoubted Captaine of the mise, rushed vpon the wofull frogges, in that Heroicall battaile. But Meridarpax him∣selfe, in his •…•…npetuous, and massacrous sallyes, neuer made such a hauocke of the miserable frogges: as this Swash-pen would make of all English writers, howsoeuer garnished with eloquence, or stored with matter, might he be suffred to hewe them downe, like stockes, or shrubbes, without cōtrowlement. He wil soone be ripe, that already 〈◊〉〈◊〉 so

lusty onsets; & threateneth such desperate maine carreers, as surpasse the fiercest Caualcads of Bellerophon, or Don A∣lonso d' Aualos. Nothing curtaileth the courage of his bra∣uery, or daunteth the swelling chiualry in his nostrels, but that excellent learning is not esteemed, as it deserueth: nor singular men aduaunced, according to the merites of their worthinesse. Might Penniles, singular Penniles, be the Preferrer of his owne Vertue, or Iudge of his owne cause; (as he couragiously contendeth): I beleeue, a Veluet coate were scantly good enough for his wearing, that now re∣maineth most humbly, and thrise-affectionatly bounden to the Right-honorable Printing-house, for his poore shifts of apparell, and his rich capp of maintenaunce. An Ana∣tome of the Minde, and Fortune, were respectiuely as be∣hoouefull and necessary, as an Anatome of the Body: but this Captain-Confuter, (like gallāt Lobbellinus in a new li∣uery) neither knoweth himselfe, nor other: yet presumeth he knoweth all things, with an ouerplus of somwhat more, in knowing his Railing Grammar, his Rauing Poetry, his Roisting Rhetorique, and his Chopping Logique: with whose helpe, he hath thwitled the milpost of his huge, and omnipotent conceit, to a pudding-pricke of Straunge Newes. Straunge newes indeede, that Pierce Penniles should create more Asses in an hower; then the braue king of Fraunce, (now the mightiest Warriour in Christen∣dome, and a great aduauncer of valour,) hath dubbed Knightes in his raigne. The Ironyes of Socrates, Aristo∣phanes, Epicharmus, Lucian, are but Carterly derisions: the Ironyes of Tully, Quintilian, Petrarch, Pontane, Sanaza∣rius, king Alphonsus, but the sory Iestes of the Counsell-table Asse, Richard Clarke: the Ironyes of Erasmus in his prayse of Folly; of Agrippa in his disprayse of Sciences; of Car∣dan

in his Apology of Nero, like Isocrates commendation of Busiris, or Lucians defence of Phalaris the Tyrant, but Good Beare bite not: the Ironyes of Sir Thomas More in his Vtopia, Poemes, Letters, and other writings; or of any their Imitatours at occasion, but the girdes of euery milke∣maide. They were silly country fellowes, that commended the Bald pate, the Feauer quartane; the fly, the flea, the gnat, the sparrow, the wren, the goose, the asse; flattery, hypocrisie, coosinage, bawdery, leachery, buggery, mad∣nesse itselfe. What Dunse, or Sorbonist cannot maintaine a Paradoxe? What Pesant cannot say to a glorious Soldi∣our? Pulchrè meherculè dictum, & sapienter: or, Lautè, lepidè, nihil supra: or, Regem elegantem narras: or, a man is a man, though he haue but a hose vpon his head: or so forth. No such light payment Gabriell, at Pierce Penniles, or Thomas Nashes hand. They are rare, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉 wittes, that can roundly call a man Asse at euery third word; and make not nice, to befoole him in good sullen earnest, that can stran∣gle the prowdest breath of their pennes, and meaneth to borrow a sight of their giddiest braines, for a perfect Ana∣tome of Vanitie, and Folly. Though strōg drinke fumeth, & Aqua fortis fretteth; yet I will not exchaunge my Milke∣maides Irony, for his Draff-maides assery. It is not the first time, that I haue disputed de Vmbra Asini; and prooued the Fox, the finder; as wily a pigeon, as the cunning Gold∣smith, that accused his neighbour, and condemned him∣selfe. A melancholy boddy, is not the kindest nurse for a chearely minde: (the Iouiall complexion is souerainly be∣holding to Nature): but I know not a finer transformation in Ouid, then the Metamorphosis of dudgen earnest into sport; of harsh sower into sweet; of losse into gaine; of re∣proch into credit; of whatsoeuer badd occurrence into

some good. I was neuer so splenetique, when I was most dumpish, but I could smile at a friseiest, when the good man would be pleasurable; and laugh at fustion earnest, when the merry man would be surly. Straunge Newes wilbe as pleasant as a cricket, by Cattes panges: and where such a Turlery-ginkes of conceit, or such a gibbihorse of pastime, as Straunge Newes? But fillip him, or twitch him neuer so little; and not such a powting waspe in Ramme-ally, or such a winching iade in Smithfield. Then Asse, and worse then a Cumane Asse, and foole, and dolt, and idiot, and Dunse, and Dorbell, and dodipoul, and Gibaltar, and Gamaliell Hobgoblin, and Gilgilis Hoberdehoy; and all the rusty-dusty iestes in a country, are too-little for his great Confutation, that is lineally descended ab Equis ad Asinos; and taketh-on, like Hob-all-as, a stout king of the Saracens. When I am better grammered in the Accidents of his pro∣per Idiotisme, and growen into some more acquaintance with his confuting Dictionary; I may peraduenture con∣ster, and pierce the whole Alphabet of his sweet Eloquēce a little better; and make some farther triall of M. Aschams double translation, a pretty exercise in a fit subiect. Meane∣while I am glad, to see him swimme vpp to the beardlesse chinne in a Sea of hoony, and ypocrase, that so lately was plunged in a Gulfe of other liquor, and parlously dashed vpon the horrible Rocke of desperation. It is good, they say, to be merry, and wise.

Poggius was merry, and Panormitan wise: Marot was merry, and Bellay wise: Scoggin was merry, and the Lord Cromwell wise: Greene was merry, and Sir Christopher Hatton wise: Nash is merry, and there be enough wise, though his mothers sonne be Pierce Penniles. Or if thou beist wise, or wouldest seeme no foole, beware of Casual

ties, & a new Attractiue. Thy toungue is a mighty Loade∣stone of Asses; and must do asmuch for thine owne naturall eares, as the Magnes doth for Iron. As good do it at-first, as at-last: and better voluntary confession with fauour, then enforced profession with more shamefull penance. Balaams Asse was wise, that would not run vpon the Angels sword: Aesops Asse no foole, that was gladd to fawne vpon his ma∣ster, like a Dogge: Lucians Asse, albeit he could not fly, like the witch his hostisse, (whose miracles he thought to imi∣tate, had not her gentle maide coosened him with a wrong boxe) yet could he Politiquely saue himselfe, please, or ease his masters, delight his mistrisses, shewe many artificiall feates, amaze the beholders, drinke the purest wine in Thessalonica, and finally eate roses, aswell as thistles: Apu∣lius Asse, was a pregnant Lucianist, a cunning Ape, a loo∣uing worme, and (what worthyer prayse?) A golden Asse: Machiauels Asse of the same mettall, and a deepe Politician, like his founder, could prouide for One, better then the Sparrow, or the Lilly: Agrippas Asse, a woonderfull com∣poūd, and (may I say?) a diuine beast, knew all things, like Salomon, and bore all burdens, like Atlas. The great Li∣brary of king Ptolomy in Egipt, reported to haue bene re∣plenished with seuenty thousand Volumes, not such a Li∣brary of bookes, or such an Vniuersitie of Arts, & Sciences, as Agrippas Asse. They that reuerence the wondrous Pro∣phecies of the Cumane Sibyll, A malthea, the chiefest of the ten inspired Sibylles; defende, or fauour the excellent qualities of the Cumane Asse; esteemed by Varro, the most profitable seruant of that Country, and by Columella the most necessary Instrument of all Countryes. Euery Asse is naturally a well disposed creature, and (as the learned Rab∣bines haue written) a mirrour of clemency, patience, absti∣nence,

labour, constancy, and diuine wisedome. No such Schoolemaster for a wild boy, or a rash foole, as the sober, and stayed Asse; the Countryman of the wise Apollo, and the seuen wise masters.

Venerat & senior pando Silenus asello. Silenus the tender foster-father, and sage tutour of the wanton and frolicke Bacchus, afterward how braue, and frutefull? What an O∣rientall worthy? What an Indian Conquerour? What a fe∣stiuall God? When Priapus, the shamelesse God of the garden, (so gentility called that leacherous Diuell) attemp∣ted to surprise Vesta sleeping; what an honorable peece of seruice performed the honest Asse, that with his lowde bray∣ing detected that villanous assault? What heathen memo∣riall more shamefull to that infamous God, thē the solemne Sacrifice of that famous beast, celebrated by the Lampsacens, in reuengement, and reproche of that treasonable enter∣prise? But what treason, like the treason of Politique Achi∣tophell, and plausible Absolon, that most disloyally, and desperatly rebelled against the sacred maiestie of the most valorous, and incomparable worthy kind, Dauid? And what reward, or aduauncement meeter for such treason, then hanging? And who carried the wise Achitophel to hanging, but his owne foolish Asse? And who carried the desperate Absolon to hanging, but his owne sober mute? What should I surcharge your memory with more histo∣ries attonce? He that remembreth the gouernement of Balaams Asse, Aesops Asse, Lucians Asse, Apuleius Asse, Machiauels Asse, Agrippas Asse; the Cumane Asse, the Rabbines Asse, Apollos Asse, the seuen Sages Asse, Silemas Asse, Priapus Asse, Achitophels Asse, and Absolons mule; little needeth any other Tutour, or Counsellour. Some would presume to alledge the singular, and peerlesse exam∣ple

of the Christian Poet:

Ille viam ostendit, vili qua vectus asello

Rerum Opifex. Agrippa, Cardan, Trithemius, Eras∣mus, and diuers other notable Schollars, affecting to shew the variety of their reading, and the omnisufficiēcie of their learning, haue bene boulder in quoting such reuerend ex∣amples, vpon as light, or lighter occasion: but humanitie must not be too-sawcie with diuinitie: & enough is better then a Feast. Sweet Apuleius, when thou hast wiped thy mouth with thine owne Asse-dung; and thine owne Toungue hath sayd vnto thy Pen, Pen thou art an Asse: then fellow-asses may shake handes, and they clapp their hands that haue heard the Comedie of Adelphi, or the two Asses: a more notable Pageant, then the Interlude of the two Sosias, or the two Amphitryos, or the two Menaech∣mi, or the two Martin Guerras; or any such famous Paire of the true person, and the counterfait. But Asses carry my∣steries: and what a riddle is this? that the true man should be the counterfait; and the false fellow the true Asse. Or what a Secret in Philosophie shall I reueale, as vnto the sonnes of the Art: when I tell you, Asses milke is restora∣tiue, good for the gowte, for the blouddie flixe, for the clearenesse of the skinne: Asses bloud, good for the feauer lurdane: Asses flesh sodden, good for the Leprosie: Asses liuer rosted, good for the falling sicknesse: Asses hooues burned to ashes, good also for the same sicknesse, for the kinges euill, for woomen labouring with a dead burthen: Asses bones well-boiled, good against the empoisonment of the sea-hare: Asses stale, good for the raines of the backe, and a fine decoratiue to bewtifie the face by taking-of spottes, and blemishes: Asses dung, a sweet nosegay to staunch bloud, a souerain sumigation to expell a dead birth

out-of the moothers woombe, and a faire emplaster for a fowle mouth, as it might be for the mouth of Bawdery in ryme, or of Blasphemie in prose. No Homericall Ma∣chaon, or Podalirius, comparable to the right Asse; that teacheth the greatest Empiriques, Spagiriques, Cabalists, Alchimistes, Magicians, and occult Philosophers, to wrap∣vp their profoundest, and Vnreuealable mysteries in the thickest skinne, or rather in the closest intrals of an Asse. I would; some open-mouthed Libertines, and professed A∣theists had as deeply learned that cunning lesson. Euen the dead carcasse of the Asse, ingendreth the flying Scarabe, or soaring Beetle, the noble and Vnreconcileable feudist of the Aegle: of whom my braue aduersary, the famousest dor-beetle of this age, hath learned to contemne, and de∣praue the two mounting Aegles of the heauēly art of Poe∣try, Buchanan in Latin Verse, and Bartas in French mee∣ter: Whose grose imperfections he hath also vowed to pu∣blish; with an irrefragable Confutation of Beza, and our floorishingest New-writers, aswell in diuinitie, as in huma∣nitie; onely diuine Aretine excepted. But no thunderbla∣sing affrighteth, or toucheth the right Aegle: and the least feather of the right Aegle, can soone deuoure the bastard winges of other enuious, and quarrelous birdes. What carrion Asse was the Sire of this vnappeasable Scarabe; or what Scarabe shalbe the sonne and heire of this carrion Asse; I leaue it wholy to the discourse of the learned Aegles, that were euer molested with the buzzing flye, and shall e∣uer be haunted with the braying Beast. I must spin-vp my taske. And bicause the wild-asse wanteth a picker-deuant, let him drinke his owne Vrine, tempered with Spicknard, as he carouseth Helicon; and according to the tradition of Vitalis de Furno, it will procure, and encrease haire; as

kindly, as the Artificiall liniment of Doctour Leuinus Lemnius for a comely Beard. And incase he feareth his fellow Greenes sluttish disease, let him read the naturall hi∣stories of the Asse, and the Sheepe, in Aristotle, Pliny, or Gesner; and he shall finde it one of their speciall Priui∣ledges, to be exempted from the arrest of the sixfooted Ser∣geant, a continuall haunter of other hairy beastes, and one∣ly fauorable to the good Asse, and the gentle Sheepe. Or if haply he would be shod with a paire of euerlasting shooes, like the talaria of Mercury, (for alas that any Gentleman of worth, or correctour of the Lord du Bartas, should lye in the Counter in his bootes for want of shooes); Albertus, and Cardan will teach him to make incorruptible shooes of the durablest part of an asses hide, immortall leather. And ô sweet Muses of Parnassus, are not the sweetest pipes, and pleasantest instruments made of Asses bones? or do not the skillfull Geographers, Strabo, and Pliny, call dainty Arcadia in Peloponesus, (the natiue country of the great Apollo) the Land of Asses? Was not the renowned Pan, the Politique Captaine of the cōquerous Bacchus, & a suppo∣sed God in the Painim world, an Arcadian Asse? Was not Prince Arcas, the braue sonne of king lupiter, after his death honored with the glorious memoriall of the Great Beare in heauen, an Arcadian Asse? Was not the Little Beare, his moother Calisto, an Arcadian Asse? Was not her father, the drad Tyrant, Lycaon, an Arcadian Fox, an Arcadian Woolfe, an Arcadian Asse? Was not the migh∣ty Atlas, the father of Maia, and grandfather of Mercury, an Arcadian Asse? was not Mercury himselfe, the most∣nimble, and supereloquent God, an Arcadian Asse? Was not Astrophill, excellent Astrophill, (an other Mercury at all dexterities, and how delitious a Planet of heauenly har∣mony,)

by his owne adoption, an Arcadian Asse? Histo∣ries are no snudges in matters of note: and asses had neuer lesse cause to be ashamed of asses. When wise Apollo, when Valorous Pan, when employable Mercury, when surmounting Atlas, when the Great, and Little Beare of hea∣uen, when excellent Astrophil, glory in the honorable title of Arcadian Asses, who would not coouet to be recoonted in that memorable Catalogue? What generous, or noble Antiquitie, may wage comparison with Statius Arcadians,

Astris, Lunaque priores. Sweetnesse itselfe was the daughter and darling of Arcadia: and Arcadia the mother, the nurse, the dug, the sweet-hart of Sweetnesse itselfe. O the sugarcandy of the delicate bagpipe there: and ô the li∣corise of the diuine dulcimers there. No maruell though his Musique be sweeter, and sweeter, that is as fine an Asi∣nus ad lyram, as the famous Disciple of the worthy Ammo∣nius; and hath Greenes mellifluous Arcadia at his fingers endes, the very funerall of the Countesse of Pembrookes Arcadia. His other habiliments, and complements be in∣numerable: and I know not an Ase, but hath some good quality, that is, some speciall propertie of an Asse, either proffitable for commodity, or pleasurable for delight, as an Asse may be proffitable, or pleasurable, either simply, or in some respect. It was not for nothing, that the brauest king, that euer raigned vpon Earth, Alexander the Great, euen greater, then any Mars, or Iupiter, that euer brandi∣shed scepter in the world; in his Royal and Valorous iudg∣ment preferred the Asse before the man, when being so∣lemnely commaunded by Oracle, to sley the first liuing Creature he should fortune to meete withall, if after his puissant, and conquerous manner he would that day ob∣taine the Victory; he happened to meete a good honest

Country-man, riding vpon an Asse: whose present sacri∣fice, as a most acceptable Oblation, made him Victorious. Lesse maruell of the Archbishops aunswere, in mensa Philo∣sophica, and Pontans Dialogues, that hauing reuerently, and deuoutly Preached on Palme Sonday, of the She-Asse, whereupon Christ in humility voutsafed to ride; and after his lowly Sermon mounting vpon his losty palfry, was ri∣ding his way; somewhat fatherly and gratiously stayed a∣while, to heare the old woomans suite, that came hastely running towardes him, and boldly taking his horse by the bridle; now I beseech your Grace, quoth she, is this the She-Asse, whereupon Christio humility rode? No, moo∣ther, quoth he, but a poore fole of that rich Asse, and I a humble seruant of that high Lord. Good enough, quoth the wooman, I knew not before, that the gentle She-asse your Grace Preached of, had such goodly foles: yes, mo∣ther, quoth the Bishop, and a great deale goodlier, then mine: and so departed, leauingbehind him an euerlasting memory of thatdeuout Sermon, and that weighty Com∣munication with the wooman, in honour of the Asse, a frutefull parent of many goodly, and pompous foles. I will not trouble Boccace, or Poggius for Tales. He was a naturall foole, that would haue giden his liuery againe vn∣to his Lord, bicause it was embrodered with Asses heades, which made a comely showe vpon his garment, and mought ful-well haue beseemed some richer coates. Could the mill, the plough, the packe, the hamper, the paniar, the cloakebagge, the burden, the fardell, the bagge and baggage, the •…•…udgell, the goade, penury, famine, patience, labour itselfe speake; all other Apologies were superfluous: they would frame a substantiall and necessary defence of the Asse; and Experience would declame in commenda∣tion

of his perpetuall Exercise, trauaile, industry, Va∣lour, temperance, sufferance, magnanimity, and constan∣cy, the honorablest and inuinciblest vertues in the world. The wisest Oeconomy maketh especiall account of three singular members; a marchants eare; a pigges mouth; and an Asses backe. A short note, but worth all Tussers, or Catos husbandry. Had I more experience in some cases, I could say more; & as my experiēce in those cases may hap∣pen to encrease, or amount, I will not faile to tender my deuoire. I haue penned large Discourses in prayse of stud∣dy, meditation, conference, exercise, industry, vigilancy, & perseuerance, the worthiest thinges in the circuite of the Earth, (nothing vnder heauen, equiualent to labour): and whatsoeuer I haue addressed in their behalfe, I may in sort all edge in honour of the Asse; and compile whole Vo∣lumes in his commendation, more auailable for commo∣dity, and more necessary for Vse, then the workes of some great Commenters in humanity, Philosophy, history, and other higher Professions. He that can kindly play the right Asse, in ignorance wil finde knowledge, in pouerty wealth, in displeasure fauour, in ieoperdy security, in bondage freedome, in warre peace, in misery felicity. Who so tho∣roughly prouided for both fortunes, as he: or who so strongly armed against all casualties, as he•…•… or what Sene∣ca, Epictetus, Boetius, Petrarch, or Cardan, so effectuall a Schoolemaster of Sustine, et Abstine, as he•…•… or who such an Oeconomer to liue, as he: or who such a Philosopher to dye, as he•…•… or what Physitian for the boddy, like him: or what Lawier for the substance, like him: or what Deuine for the minde, like him? or where such a Practitioner of Vertue, as he: or where such a Fortune-wright, as he? or finally where such an apt subiect for the Ciuill, and morall

reformation of the Prudent Augustus, the good Traian, the gentle Marcus Antoninus, the vertuous Alexāder Seue∣rus, the drad Septimius Seuerus, or any honorable Prince, or Politique Tyrant, that with a reuerēd authoritie, would establish Vertuous, and awfull orders of gouernement in his dominions?

But what an Asse am I, that proceede so coldly, and dully in the Apology of so worthy a Creature? What will you say, Gentlemen, if I can prooue with pregnant argu∣ments, artificially drawen from all the places of Inuention, according to Ramus, Rodolphes, or Aristotles Logique; that the fire-breathing Oxen, and mighty Dragon, which kept the most-famous Golden Fleece, the glorious prize of braue Iason, were Asses of Colchos: that the watchfull, and dreadfull Dragon, which kept the goodly Golden Apples, in the Occidentall Ilands of the Ocean, called Hesperides, one of the renowned prizes of dowty Her∣cules, was a West-Indian Asse: that the golden-horned, and brasen-footed Menalian hart, the fierce Erymanthean Bore, the hideous birdes Stymphalides, the puissant Ne∣maean Lion, and the seuen-hedded Lernaean Hydra, which Hercules slew, were Asses of Arcadia, and other adiacent countryes of Morea: (for Maenalus, and Erymanthus were hilles in Arcadia, Stymphalus a lake in Arcadia, Nemaea a wood in Argolis, and Lerna a fen in Argolis, an other shire of Morea): that the Serpent with the golden creast, which kept the rich fountaine of Mars in Greece, and was slaine of valiant Cadmus, was an Asse of Boëtia, so called à boue, where the Prophet Amphiaraus breathed Oracles: that the huge Serpent, Python de monte, ingendred short∣ly after Deucalions deluge, which the Arcadian god of Wisedome killed with his arrowes, the first founders of

the Pythian Games, was a mighty Asse of the mountaines: that the mounting Aegle, into which king Iupiter turned, not himselfe, but Ganymedes, (whom he tooke with him, as his flying Page, and vsed as his standing cupbearer) was a faithfull seruaunt, and a perpetuall Asse: that the hondred∣eyed Argus, whom Queene Iuno appointed the keeper of Io, the fairest creature of the Arcadian herde, and whom Mercury Iullabyed asleepe with a sweet Syrinx, or Arca∣dian Pipe, (many Stratagemes, and mysteries in that Arca∣dian Pipe) was a blind Asse of Arcadia: I skip a thousand memorable Histories; that all they, by whatsoeuer noble, or glorious names intituled, that hauing charge of greatest importance, and inestimable Value, committed to their vigilant and ielous custody, did attonce forgo their trea∣sure, their honour, and their life (as many great personages for want of circumspection haue done) were notorious Arch-asses. If I cannot substantially prooue all this, and for a neede euict by necessary, and immediate demonstra∣tion, that the great world is a great Asse, aswell actu, as Po∣tentia; and the Microcosme, a little Asse, aswell habitu, as affectione; say I am a notable Asse, aswell re, as nomine. The Philosopher, that seeking-about with a candle at high noone, could not finde a Man in a populous market; with∣out a candle would soone haue pointed at a faire of Asses; and could quickly haue discoouered a frutefull generation in euery element, in the water, on the Earth, about the fier, in the Aier. And the wise-man, that said without excep∣tion, Stultorum plena sunt omnia; might easely haue bene en∣treated, to haue set it downe for a souerain Maxim, or ge∣nerall rule; Asinorum plena sunt omnia. The thundring Ora∣tour Demosthenes, was not affraide to taunt Minerua, the armed Goddesse of fine Athens, for exhibiting fauour to

three vnreasonable beastes, the Owle, the Dragon, and the People: counting the People the most importunate and intolerable beast of the three, by whose appointment he was banished the dainty Citty, the onely seate of his rai∣gning Eloquence. If the people of fine Athens, were such a barbarous and senselesse brute, as their excellentest Ora∣tours, Philosophers, Captaines, Counsellours, and Magi∣strates founde to their cost: and if the people of braue Roome, the Lady, and Empresse of the world, were such a bellowing beast of many heads, as Horace called it, Tul∣ly prooued it, Scipio fealt it, and Caesar himselfe rued it; what may be said of other people? Floorishing Greece in many hundred yeares acknowledged but seuen wise-mē of speciall note; as the auncient world acknowledged but se∣uen miracles, or magnificall spectacles worth the seeing: & Callimachus a sweet Poet, recording the memorable, and woonderfull thinges of Peloponesus, termed them Para∣doxes. Vortuous Italy in a longer terme of dominion, with much adooe bred two Catos, and One Regulus: but how many Syluios, Porcios, Brutos, Bestias, Tauros, Vitellios, Capras, Capellas, Asinios, and so forth? Other singulari∣ties, meete matter for Tullyes Paradoxes. The world was neuer giuen to singularities: and no such monster, as Ex∣cellency. He that speaketh, as other vse to speake, auoi∣deth trouble: and he that doth, as most men doe, shalbe least woondred at. The Oxe, and the Asse, are good fel∣lowes: the Libbard, and the Foxe, queint wisardes: what∣soeuer abooue the common capacity, or vsuall hability, a Paradoxe. I will not bethinke miselfe of the rigorous sen∣tences of Stoicall Philosophers, or the biting Apothegs of seditious Malcontents, or the angry sayings of froward Saturnistes, or the tumultuous Prouerbes of mutinous,

people: (I haue small affection to the reasons, that are drawen from affection): but were not the world, an Vni∣uersall Oxe, and man a generall Asse, how were it possible, that so many counterfait slightes, crafty conueiances, suttle Sophistications, wily coosenages, cunning impostures, and deepe hypocrisies should ouerflow all: so many opini∣ons, Paradoxes, sectes, scismes, heresies, apostasies, ido∣latrics, Atheismes should pester the Church: so many fraudes, shiftes, collusions, coouens, falsifications, subor∣nations, treacheries, treasons, factions, commotions, re∣bellions should disturbe the Commonwealth? It is a world to consider, what a world of Follyes, and Villanies posses∣seth the world: onely bicause the world is a world, id est, an Asse. And would the Presse suffer this scribling Asse to dominere in Print, if it were not a Presse, id est, an Asse? Might it please his confuting Aship, by his fauorable per∣mission to suffer One to rest quiet; he might with my good leaue be the graūd Generall of Asses, or raigne alone in his proper dominion, like the mighty Assyrian king, euē Phul Assar himselfe, the famous son of the renowned Phul Bul∣lochus. For so the Gentlewooman hath intituled him in a place, or two, that hath vowed the Canonizatiō of Nashes S. Fame, in certaine Discourses of regard, already dispat∣ched to my satisfaction, & almost accōplished to her owne intention. It may peraduenture be his fortune, to leaue as glorious a nephew behinde him, as euer was the redoub∣ted Lob-assar-duck, an other noble king of Assyria; not forgotten by thesaid excellent Gentlewoman, but remem∣bred with such a grace, as bewtifieth diuine wittes. Kind∣hart hath already offered faier for it: & were it not that the great Phul Assur himselfe had forestalled and engrosed all the commodities of Assyria, with the whole Encomium of

Asses, into one hand; it should haue gone very-hard, but this redoubted Lob-assar-duck would haue retailed, and regrated some precious part of thesaid commodities, and aduauncements. He may haply in time by especiall fa∣uour, and approoued desert, (what meanes of preferment, to especiall fauour, and approoued desert?) be interteined, as a chapman of choice, or employed as a factour of trust; and haue some stables of Asses at his appointment, as may seeme meetest for his carriages, and conueiances. For mine owne part, I must be contented to remaine at his de∣uotion, that hath the whole generation of Assyrians at commaundement; with a certaine personall priuiledge, or rather an Imperiall Prerogatiue, to create and enstall Asses at pleasure. Had I not lately reuisited the Assyrian Histo∣ry, with thesaid vertuous Gentlewooman, one of the gal∣lantest ornaments of her sexe; I mought perchaunce haue omitted this small parcell of his great honour, and left the commendation of the Asse more vnperfect: which not∣withstanding I must still leaue most-vnperfect, in respect of his vnspeakable beau-desert. Vnto whom for a farewell, I cā wish no more, then accomplished honour; nor no lesse, then athleticall health. A short exhortation, will serue So∣crates, to continue like himselfe. A roach not sounder, then a haddocke, or the stockfish, that Plinytermeth Asel∣lus: & nothing so vnkindly hurteth an Asse, as the two me∣lancholy beastes, cold, and the drowsie sicknesse; the cause, why Asses cānot abide to inhabite the most-cold, & frosen territories of Scythia; but are glad to seeke their fortunes in other countryes, & to colonise in warmer seats. Blame him not, that sayth; The weather is cold, and I am wearie with confu∣ting: & in another place; Had I my health, now I had leysure to be merry: for I haue almost washt my hands of the Doctour. Now

I see thou art a good fellow by thine own cōfession, & 〈◊〉〈◊〉 not giue the Asses head for the washing: Cold, & the drow∣sie sicknesse, are thy two mortall enemies: when they are fled the Country, like fugitiue, and dismall birdes, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 vs haue a flitch of mirth, with a fiddle of the purest Asse-bone: onely I barre the Cheeke-bone, for feare of Sampsons tune, more then heroicall. But the spring-tooth in the iawe, will do vs no horme, although it were a fountaine of Muscadell, or a conduict of Ypocrase. Many are the mira∣cles of right Vertue: and he 〈◊〉〈◊〉 an infinite Labyrinth, that goeth-about to praise Hercules, or the Asse: whose Labours exceede the Labours of Hercules, and whose glo∣ry surmounteth the topp of Olympus. I were best to end, before I beginne; and to leaue the Autor of Asses, where I found the Asse of Autors. When I am better furnished with competent prouision, (what prouision sufficient for so mighty a Prouince?) I may haply assay to fullfill the Prouerbe, by washing the Asses headd, and setting the crowne of highest praise vpon the crowne of young Apu∣leius, the heire apparant of the old Asse, the most glorious Olde Asse.

I haue written in all sortes of humours priu•…•…tly I am perswa∣ded, more then any young man of my age in England. They be the wordes of his owne honorable mouth: and the golden Asse, in the superabundāce of his rich humours promiseth many other golden mountaines; but hath neuera scrat of siluer. Had Aristophanes Plutus bene outwardly as libe, rall, as Greenes Mercury was inwardly prodigall, he must needes haue bene the onely Orientall Starre of this Lan∣guage: and all other writers, old, or new, in prose, or verse, in one humour or other, but sory Occidentall St•…•…rres. C•…•…ne∣ly externall defects, queth himselfe, are cast in his dish: for

internall graces, and excellentest perfections of an accom∣plished minde, who but he? Come diuine Poets, and sweet Oratours, the siluer streaming fountaines of flowingest witt, and shiningest Art: come Chawcer, and Spencer; More, and Cheeke; Ascham, and Astely; Sidney, and Dier; come the dearest sister of the dearest brother, the sweetest daughter of the sweetest Muses, onely One excep∣ted, the brightest Diamant of the richest Eloquence, onely One excepted, the resplendentest mirrour of Feminine va∣lour, onely One excepted; the Gentlewooman of Curte∣sie, the Lady of Vertue, the Countesse of Excellency, and the Madame of immortall Honour: come all the daintiest dainties of this toungue, and doe homage to your Verti∣call Starre; that hath all the soueraine influences of the elo∣quent, and learned Constellations at a becke, and Paradi∣seth the Earth with the ambrosiall dewes of his incompre∣hensible witt. But what should I dally with hoony-bees; or presume vpon the Patience of the gentlest Spirites, that English Humanity affourdeth? Pardon me Excellent mindes: and I will here dismisse my po•…•…re milkemaide, nothing appliant to the delicate humour of this minion Humorist, and Curtesan Secretary. Shall I say? Phy vp∣on arrant knauery, that hath neuer sucked his fill of most-o∣dious Malice: or, Out-vpon scu•…•…rilous, & obscene Villany, nusled in the boosome of filthiest filth, and hugged in the armes of the abominablest hagges of Hell. Be it nothing to haue railed vpon Doctours of the Vniuersitie, or vpon Lords of the Court, (whō he abuseth most-infamously, & abiecteth as cōtemptuously, as me): but what otherdespe∣rate varlet of the world, durst so villan: usly have diffamed Lōdon, & the Court, as he notoriously hath 〈◊〉〈◊〉 these raseall termes? Tell me, is there 〈◊〉〈◊〉 place so 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 is Ladie

London? not a wenche sooner creepes out of the shell, but she is of the Religiō. The Court I dare not touch, but suerlie there be many falling Starres, and but one true Diana. Not a wenche, a very Vniuersall Proposition, in so large, and honourable a Cit∣ty: and but One, a very short Exception to a generall rule of the Court. Floorishing London, the Staple of Wealth, & Madame-towne of the Realme, is there no place so lewde, as thy selfe? and Noble Court, the Pallace of Honour, and Seate of Maiesty, hast thou but One true Diana? Is it not nigh-hand time, the young haddock were caught, that can already nibble so prettily? Was he, thinke you, lodged in Cappadocia, for sleeping by the Sunne, and studying by the Moone? Whom, or what, will not he shortly con∣fute with an ouerrunning furie, that so brauely aduentu∣reth vpon London, and the Court, all-attonce? Honour, regard thy good reputation; and staunch the ranke bloud of this arrant Autor; as honest a man, as some honest woo∣man I could name, that keepeth her honesty, as she doth her Friday fast. Suffer him to proceede, as he presumeth, & to end, as he beginneth: and looke for a rarer beast in En∣gland, then a Woolfe; and a straunger monster in Print, then the diuine Ruffian, that intituled himselfe, Flagel∣lum Principum, and prooued Pestis Rerumpublicarum. My Toungue is an infant in his Idiotisme; and I had rather blesse my pestilentest enemy, then curse any: but some little plaine dealing dooith not otherwhiles amisse, where nothing but flat, and ranke grosenesse blotteth the paper, infecteth the aier, depraueth the good, encourageth the badd, corrupteth youth, accloieth age, and annoyeth the world. Good faith is my witnesse, I neither affect to ob∣scure any light in an aduersary; nor desier to quench any honest courage in an enemy; but wish euery gift of heauē,

or earth, of minde, or body, of nature, or fortune, redou∣bled in both, euen in the greenest aduersary, and wildest enemy: in whom I honour the highest, and looue the lowest degree of excellency; but am not easely coosened by Imperfection, branded with the counterfait marke of perfection. I am ouer-ready to pardon young ouersights, and forgiue inconsiderate offences: but cannot flatter Fol∣ly, or fawne vpon Vanity, or cocker Ignoraunce, or sooth∣vp Vntruth, or applaude to Arrogancy, either in foe, or frēd. It cōcerneth euery man to looke into his owne estate with his owne eyes: but the young man, that will neither know himselfe, nor acknowledge other, must be told in brief, what the cōmon opinion reporteth at large. He hath little witt: lesse learning: lest iudgement: no discretion: Vanity enough: stomacke at will: superabundance of selfe∣conceit: outward liking to fewe, inward affection to none: (his defence of Greene, a more b•…•…ting condemnation, then my reproofe): no reuerence to his patrons: no respect to his superiours: no regard to any, but in contemptuous, or cēsorius sort: hatred, or disdaine to the rest: cōtinuall quar∣rels with one, or other: (not such an other mutterer, or murmurer, euē against his familiarest acquaintance): an e∣uer-grudging, & repining mind: a rauenous throte: a glut∣tonous mawe: a drōken head: a blasphemous tongue: a fis∣king witt: a shittle nature: a reuolting, and rennegate di∣sposition: a broking, and huckstering penne: store of ras∣call phrases: some little of a brabling Schollar: more of a rauing scould: most of a roisterly s•…•…uing: nothing of a Gentleman: lesse then nothing of a fine, or cleanly Ar∣tist. And as for termes of honesty, or ciuility, (without which the sharpest Inuention is Vnsauery, and the dain∣tiest elocution lothsome); they are Gibridge vnto him;

and he a Iewish Rabbin, or a Latin Dunse with him, that vseth any such forme of monstrous termes. Aretine, and the Diuels Oratour, would be ashamed to be conuicted, or endighted of the least respectiue, or ceremonious phrase, but in mockage, or coofenage. They neither feare Goodman Sathan, nor master Beelzebub, nor Sir Re∣uerence, nor milord Gouernement himselfe: ô wretched Atheisme, Hell but a scarecrow, and Heauen but a woon∣derclout in their doctrine: all vulgar, stale, and simple, that is not a note abooue Goddes-forbid. Whom durst not he appeach, reuile, or blaspheme, that forged the abo∣minablest booke in the world, De tribus impostoribus mun∣di: and whom will he forbeare, in any reason, or con∣science, that hath often protested in his familiar hauntes, to confute the worthy Lord du Bartas, and all the famousest moderne-writers, sauing him onely, who onely meriteth to be confuted with vnquenchable Volumes of Heauen∣and Hell-fier. Perionius deciphreth the fowle preceptes, and reprobate examples of his Morall Philosophy, in an inuectiue Declamation, generally addressed vnto all the Princes of Christendome, but especially directed vnto the most-Christian French king, Henry the Second. Agrip∣pa detesteth his monstrous veneries, and execrable Sodo∣mies. Cardan blasoneth him the most-impudent Ribald, that euer tooke penne in hand. Manutius inuesteth him the Ring leader of the corruptest bawdes, and miscreantest rakehells in Italy. His familiar acquaintance, Sansouino, doth him neuer awhitt more creddit, then needeth. Tasso disdaineth his insolent and insupportable affectation of singularitie. Iouius in his Elogies voutsaueth him not the naming. Doubtlesse he was indued with an exceeding∣odd witt: and I neuer read a more surpassing-hyperboli∣call

stile. Castilios Courtier after a pleasurable sort, gra∣ceth him with a deepe insight in the highest Types, and Idees of humane perfections, whereunto he most curious∣ly, and insatiably aspired. His wanton disciples, or Vain∣conceited fauorites, (such crowes, such egges) in their fan∣tasticall Letters, and Bacchanall Sonnets, extoll him mon∣strously, that is, absurdly: as the onely Monarch of witt, that is, the Prodigall sonne of conceit; and the mortall God of all Vertue, that is, the immortall Diuell of all Vice. Oh, what grandiloquous Epithits, and supereminent Titles of incredible and prodigious excellency, haue they bestowed vpon the Arch-miracle of the world, Signior Vnico? not so little as the huge Gargantua of prose, and more then the heauen-surmounting Babell of Ryme. But what approoued man of learning, wisedome, or iudge∣ment, euer deigned him any honour of importance, or commēdation of note: but the young darling of S. Fame, Thomas Nash, aliàs Pierce Penniles, the second Leuia∣than of Prose, and an other Behemoth of ryme? He it is, that is borne, to glorifie Aretine, to disgrace Bartas, and to vndooe me. Say I, write I, or dooe I, what I can, he will haunt, and trounce me perpetually, with spritish workes of Supererogation, incessant tormentours of the Ciuilian, and Deuine. Yet some-boddy was not woont to endight vpon aspen leaues of paper: and take heede Sirrha, of the Fatall Quill, that scorneth the sting of the busie Bee, or the scratch or the kittish shrew. A Bee? a drone, a dorre, a dor-bettle, a dormouse. A shrewe? a drab, a hag, a flibber-gibbet, a make-bate, the pickthanke of Va∣nity, the pickpocket of foolery, the pickpurse of all the palteries, and knaueries in Print. She doth him no wrong, that doth him right, like Astraea, and hath stiled him with

an immortal penne; the Bawewawe of Schollars, the Tutt of Gentlemen, the Tee-heegh of Gentlewomen, the Phy of Ci∣tizēs, the Blurt of Courtiers, the Poogh of good Letters, the Faph of good manners, & the whoop-hooe of good boyes in Lōdon streetes. Nash, Nash, Nash, (quoth a louer of truth, and honesty) vaine Nash, railing Nash, craking Nash, bib∣bing Nash, baggage Nash, swaddish Nash, rogish Nash, Nash the bellweather of the scribling flocke, the swish∣swash of the presse, the bumm of Impudēcy, the shambles of beastlines, the poulkat of Pouls-churchyard, the shrich∣owle of London, the toade-stoole of the Realme, the scor∣ning-stocke of the world, & the horrible Cōfuter of foure Letters. Such an Antagonist hath Fortune allotted me, to purge melācholy, and to thrust me vpon the Stage: which I must now loade, like the old subiect of my new prayse. There is no warring with Destiny: and the Lord of my leysure will haue it so. Much good may it do the puppy of S. Fame, so to confute, and so to be confuted. Where his intelligence faileth, (as God wotteth, it faileth often) he will be so bold, without more inquiry, to checke the common sense of Reason, with the proper sense of his I∣magination, infinitly more high in conceit, then deepe in vnderstanding: and where any phrase, or word presumeth to approch within his swing, that was not before enrow∣led in the Common-places of his paperbooke, it is pre∣sently meere Inkhornisme: albeit he might haue heard thesame from a thousand mouthes of Iudgement, or read it in more then an hundred writings of estimation. Pytha∣goras Silence was woont to be a rule for Ignorance, or Im∣maturity: (no better bitt for vnlearned, or vnexpert youth, then Pythagoras Silence:) but Vnderstand, or not Vnder∣stand, both are one: if he vnderstand, it is Dunsery: if he

vnderstand not, it is either Cabalisme in matter, or Ink∣hornisme in forme: whether he be ripe, or vnripe, all is raw, or rotten, that pleaseth not his Imperiall tast. Had he euer studied any Pragmaticall Discourse; or perused any Treaties of Confederacy, of peace, of truce, of intercourse, of other forrein negotations (that is specially noted for one of my Inkhorne wordes); or researched any actes, and monuments, Ciuill, or Ecclesiasticall; or looked into any Lawes, Statutes, Iniunctions, Proclamations, (na, it is one of his witty flowtes, He beginnes, like a Proclamation: but few Treatises better penned, then some Proclamatiōs): or had he seene any autenticall instruments, Pragmatique ar∣ticles, or other Politique Traicts: he would rather haue woondred I should Vse so fewe formall termes, (which I purposely auoided, as not so vulgarly familiar) then haue maruelled at any, which I vsed. He is of no reading in com∣parison, that doth not acknowledge euery terme in those Letters to be autenticall English; and allow a thousand o∣ther ordinary Pragmaticall termes, more straunge then the straungest in those Letters, yet current at occasion. The ignorant Idiot (for so I will prooue him in very truth) con∣futeth the artificiall wordes, which he neuer read: but the vayne fellow (for so he prooueth himselfe in word, and deede) in a phantasticall emulation presumeth to forge a mishapen rablement of absurde, and ridiculous wordes, the proper bodges of his newfangled figure, called Foole∣risme: such as Inkhornisme, Absonisme, the most copious Carminist, thy Carminicall art, a Prouiditore of young Schol∣lars, a Corrigidore of incongruitie, a quest of Caualieros, Ina∣moratos on their workes, a Theologicall Gimpanado, a Dromi∣dote Ergonist, sacrilegiously cōtaminated, decrepite capacitie, fi∣actionate person, humour 〈◊〉〈◊〉, merriments vnexilable,

the horrisonant pipe of inueterate antiquitie; and a number of such Inkhornish phrases, as it were a pan of outlandish col∣lops, the very bowels of his profoundest Schollerisme. For his Eloquence passeth my intelligence, that cleapeth him∣selfe a Calimunco, for pleading his Companions cause in his owne Apology: and me a Pistlepragmos, for defending my frendes in my Letters: and very artificially interfuseth Fini∣callitie, sillogistrie, disputatiue right, hermaphrodite phrases, declamatorie stiles, censoriall moralizers, vnlineall vsurpers of indgement, infamizers of vice, new infringement to destitute the inditemēt, deriding dunstically, banging abominationly, vnhand∣soming of diuinityship, absurdifying of phrases, ratifying of truthable and eligible English, a calme dilatement of forward harmefulnesse, and backward irefulnesse, and how many sun∣dry dishes of such dainty fritters? rare iunkets, and a deli∣cate seruice for him, that cōpiled the most delitious Com∣mentaries, De optimitate triparum. And what say you Boyes, the flatteringest hope of your moothers, to a Porch of Panim Pilfryes, Pestred with Prayses? Dare the pertest, or deftest of you, hunt the letter, or hauke a metaphor, with such a Tite-tute-tate? He weeneth himselfe a speciall pen∣man; as he were the headman of the Pāfletting crew, next, and immediatly after Greene: and although he be a harsh Oratour with his toungue, (euen the filed Suada of Iso∣crates, wanted the voyce of a Siren, or the sound of an Eccho) yet would he seeme as fine a Secretary with his penne, as euer was Bembus in Latin, or Macchiauell in Ita∣lian, or Gueuara in Spanish, or Amiot in French: and with a confidence preasseth into the rowte of that humorous rāke, that affecteth the reputation of supreme Singularity. But he must craue a little more acquaintance at the hand of Art, and serue an apprentishood of some nine, or ten

yeares in the shop of curious Imitation (for his wild Phan∣tasie will not be allowed to maintaine comparison with curious Imitation) before he will be hable to performe the twentith, or fortith part of that sufficiency, whereunto the cranknesse of his Imagination already aspireth; as more exquisite, then the Atticisme of Isocrates, or more puissant then the fury of Tasso. But how insolently soeuer grose Ignorance presumeth of itselfe, (none so hawty, as the ba∣fest Bussard): or how desperatly soeuer foole-hardy Am∣bition aduaunceth his owne colours, (none so foole-har∣dy, as the blindest Hobb): I haue seldome read a more ga∣rish, and pibald stile in any scribling Inkhornist; or tasted a more vnsauory slaumpaump of wordes, and sentences in any sluttish Pamfletter; that denounceth not defiance against the rules of Oratory, and the directions of the En∣glish Secretary. Which may here, and there stumble vp∣on some tolerable sentence, neighbourly borrowed, or featly picked out-of some fresh Pamflet: but shall neuer finde three sentences togither, worth any allowance: and as for a fine, or neat period, in the dainty and pithy Veyne of Isocrates, or Xenophon, marry that were a periwig of a Siren, or a wing of the very bird of Arabia, an inestima∣ble relique. Tush a point, neither curious Hermogenes, nor trim Isocrates, nor stately Demosthenes, are for his tooth: nor painting Tully, nor caruing Caesar, nor pur∣ple-dying Liuy, for his humour. It is for Cheeke, or As∣cham, to stand leuelling of Colons, or squaring of Pe∣riods, by measure, and number: his pe•…•…ne is like a spigot; and the Wine-presse a dullard to his Ink-presse. There is a certaine liuely, a•…•…d frisking thing, of a queint, and capri∣cious nature, as peerlesse as namelesse, and as admirable, as singular, that scorneth to be a booke-woorme, or to imi∣tate

the excellentest artificiality of the most renowned worke-masters, that antiquity affourdeth. The witt of this, & that odd Modernist, is their owne: & no such mi∣nerall of richest Art, as praegnant Nature; the plentifullest woombe of rare Inuention, and exquisite Elocution. Whuist Art: and Nature aduaunce thy precious Selfe in thy most gorgeous, and magnificent robes: and if thy new descant be so many notes aboue old Aela, Good-now be no niggard of thy sweet accents, & heauenly harmony; but teach the antike muses, their right Leripup. Desolate Eloquēce, and forlorne Poetry, thy most-humble Suppli∣ants in forma pauperum, cladd in mournefull and dreery weedes, as becommeth their lamentable case, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 prostrate at thy dainty foote, and adore the Idoll-excellency of thy monstrous Singularity. O stately Homer, and lofty Pin∣darus, whose witt mounteth like Pegasus; whose verse streameth like Nilus; whose Inuention flameth like Aetna, whose Elocution, rageth like Sirius; whose passion bluste∣reth like Boreas, whose reason breatheth like Zephirus; whose nature sauoreth like Tempe, and whose Art perfu∣meth like Paradise: ô the mightiest Spirites of couragious Vigour, of whom the delicate Grecian, worthy Roman, and gallant Vulgar Muses learned their shrillest tunes, and hyperbolicall notes: ô the fiercest Trompets of heroicall Valour, that with the straunge Sympathy of your diuine Fury, and with thossame piercing motions of heauenly in∣spiration, were woont to rauish the affections, and euen to mealt the bowels of brauest mindes: see, see what a woondrous quaime—But peace milkemaide: you will still be shaming your∣selfe, and your bringing-vpp. Hadst thou learned to dis∣cerne the fairest face of Eloquence, from the fowlest vi∣sage

of Barbarisme; or the goodlyest frame of Method from the ill-fauoredest shape of Confusion: as thou canst descry the finest flower from the coursest branne, or the sweetest creame frō the sowrest whey: peraduenture thou wouldest dote indeede vpon the bewtifull and dainty fea∣ture of that naturall stile, that appropriate stile, vpon which himselfe is so deepely inamored. I would it were out-of peraduenture: no man more greedy, to behold that mira∣culous Art of emprooued Nature. He may malapertly bragge in the vaine ostentation of his owne naturall con∣ceit; and if it please him, make a Golden Calfe of his woodden stuffe: but shewe me any halfe page without piperly phrases, and tinkerly composition: and say I am the simplest Artist, that euer looked fayre Rhetorique, or sweet Poetry in the face. It is the destiny of our lāguage, to be pestred with a rablement of botchers in Print: but what a shamefull shame is it for him, that maketh an Idoll of his owne penne, and raiseth-vpp an huge expectation of pa∣per-miracles, (as if Hermes Trismegist were newly risen from the dead, and personally mounted vpon Danters Presse), to emprooue himselfe as ranke a bungler in his mightiest worke of Supererogation, as the starkest Patch∣pannell of them all, or the grosest hammer-drudge in a country. He disdaineth Thomas Delone, Philip Stubs, Robert Armin, and the common Pamfletters of London, euē the painfullest Chroniclers tooe; bicause they stand in his way, hinder his scribling traffique, obscure his resplen∣dishing Fame, or haue not Chronicled him in their Cata∣logues of the renowned moderne Autors, as he meritori∣ously meriteth, and may peraduenture be remembred hereafter. But may not Thomas Delone, Philip Stubs, Robert Armin, and the rest of those misused persons, more

disdainfully disdaine him; bicause he is so much vayner, so little learneder, so nothing eleganter, then they; and they so much honester, so little obscurer, so nothing contemp∣tibler, then he? Surely Thomas, it were pollicy, to boast lesse with Thomas Delone, or to atchieue more with Thomas More. If Vaunting, or craking may make thee singular, thy Art is incomparable, thy Wit superexcellent, thy Learning omnisufficient, thy memory infinite, thy dexterity incomprehensible, thy force horrible, thy other giftes more then admirable: but when thou hast gloried thy vttermost, and struggled with might, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, to seeme the Great Turke of Secretaries; if my eyesight be any thing in the Art of endighting, (wherin it hath pleased fauour, to repute me something), vpon my credit for euer, thou hast nothing in thee of valour, but a railing Gall, and a swelling Bladder. For thy penne is as very a Gentleman Foist, as any pickpurse liuing: and, that which is most-mi∣serable, not a more famous neckverse, then thy choice; to thiselfe pernicious, to youth daungerous, to thy frendes grieuous, to thy adueriaries pittifull, to Vertue odious, to learning ignominious, to humanity noyous, to diuinitie intolerable, to autority punishable, to the world contemp∣tible. I longed to see thy best amendement, or worst a∣uengement: but thy gay best, vt supra, prooueth nothing; and thy main worst, vt insra, lesse then nothing. Neuer silly mans expectation so deluded with contrary euents vpon the Stage, (yet Fortune sometime is a queint Come∣dian, far beyond the Supposes of Ariosto) as these Strange Newes haue coony-caught my coniecture; more decei∣ued, then my Prognostication of the last yeare, which hapned to be a true Prophet of some dismall Contingents. Though I neuer phansied Tautologies, yet I cannot re∣peat

it enough: I looked for a treaty of pacification: or i∣magined thou wouldest arme thy quill, like a stowt cham∣pion, with the compleat harnesse of Witt, and Art: na, I feared the brasen shield, and the brasen bootes of Goliah, and that same hideous speare, like a weauers beame: but it is onely thy fell stomacke, that blustereth like a Northeren winde: alas, thy witt is as tame, as a duck; thy art as fresh, as sower ale in summer; thy brasen shield in thy forehead; thy brasen bootes in thy hart; thy weauers beame in thy toungue; a more terrible launce, then the hideous speare, were the most of thy Power equiualent to the least of thy Spite. I say not; what aileth thy Gorgons head? or what is become of thy Sampsons lockes? (yet where miracles were promised, and atcheiuements of Supererogation threatened, they had reason, that dreaded vnknowen forces): but ô blastes of diuine Fury, where is your super∣naturall prowesse? and ô horne of abundance, what mea∣neth this dearth of plenty, this penury of superfluitie, this infancie of eloquence, this simplicitie of cunning, this stu∣piditie of nimblenesse, this obscuritie of brauerie, this nul∣lity of omnisufficiencie? Was Pegasus euer a cowe in a cage, or Mercurie a mouse in a cheese, or Industrie a snaile in a shell, or Dexteritie a dogge in a d•…•…blet, or legierde∣mane a sloweworme, or Viuacitie a lasie-bones, or Entele∣chy a slugplum? Can liuely, and winged spirites suppresse the diuinitie of their ethereall, and Seraphical nature? Can the thunder toungue-tye, or the lightning smoother, or the tempest calme, or loue quench, or Zeale luke-warme, or valour manicle, or excellencie mew-vpp, or perfection geld, or supererogatiō combe-cutt itselfe? Is it not impos∣sible, for Humanity to be a spittle-man, Rhetorique a dum∣merell, Poetry a tumbler, History a bankrowt, Philosophy

a broker, wit a cripple, courage a iade? How could the sweet Mermaids, or dainty Nymphes finde in their ten∣der harts, to be so farre diuorced from their queintest, and galiardest minion? Art, take heede of an aeger appetite, if a little greedie deuouring of singularitie will so soone gett the hicket, and make thee (as it were) belch the sloouens Oratorie, and (as a man would say) parbreake the sluttes Poetry. Pure Singularitie wrong not thy arch-excellent Selfe, but embrace him with both thy armes, that huggeth thee with his fiue wittes; and cowll him with thy two co∣rall bracelets, that busseth thee with his two ruby lippes, and his three diamant powers, naturall, animall, and vitall. Precious Singularity how canst thou choose but dote vp∣on his alabaster necke, whose inuentiue part can be no lesse, then a sky-co•…•…loured Sapphire, like the heauenly de∣uises of the delitious Poetesse Sappho, the godmoother of that azure gemme; whose Rhetoricall figures, sanguin and resplendishing Carbuncles, like the flamy Pyrops of the glistering Pallace of the Sun; whose alluring persuasions, Amethists; whose cutting girds, adamants; whose con∣quering Ergos, loadestones; whose whole cōceit as greene, as the greenest Iasper; whose Orient witt, the renowned achates of king Pyrrhus, that is, the tabernacle or chaun∣cell of the Muses, Apollo sitting in the midst, and playing vpon his Iuory harpe most enchauntingly. Is it possible, those powerfull wordes of antiquity, whose mightie in∣fluence was woont to debase the miraculous operation of the most-vertuous stones, hearbes, and starres (Philosophy knoweth the incredible force of stones, hearbes, & starres) should be to seeke in a panting inspired brest, the closet of reuealed mysteries, and garden of infused graces? What lockes, or barres of Iron, can hold that quicksiluer Mercu∣ry,

whose nimble vigour disdaineth the prison, and will display itselfe in his likenes, maugre whatsoeuer empeach∣ment of iron Vulcan, or woodden Daedalus? I hoped to finde, that I lusted to see, the very singular subiect of that inuincible & omnipotent Eloquence, that in the worthiest age of the world, intituled heroicall, put the most-barba∣rous tyranny of men, and the most-sauage wildnesse of beastes, to silence; and arreared woonderfull admiration in the hart-roote of obstinatest Rebellion, otherwise how vntractable? Had I not cause to platforme new Theo∣rickes, and Idees of monstrous excellency, when the par∣turient mountaine of miracles, was to be deliuered of his mighty burden of Supererogation? Who would not ride post, to behold the chariot of his Triumph, that glorieth, as if he had woon both the Indyes from the Spaniard; or Constantinople from the Turke; or Babylon from the So∣phi? But holla braue Gentlemen, and alacke sweet Gentle∣woomen, that would so fayne behold S. Fame in the pompe of her maiestie; neuer poore suckling hope so in∣credibly crosbitten with more then excessiue defection. I looked, and looked for a shining Sunne of Singularity, that should amaze the eyes, and astonish the harts of the beholders: but neuer poore shimering Sunne of Singulari∣ty, so horribly eclipsed. I perceiue, one good honest aker of performance, may be more worth, then a whole land of Promise. Take heede aspiring mindes, you that deeme yourselues the Paragon wittes of the world; lesse your hilles of iollity be conuerted into dales of obscurity; and the pōpe of your glory, become like this pumpe of shame. Euen when Enuy boyled his inke; Malice scorched his penne; pride parched his paper, Fury inflamed his hart; S. Fame raged, like S. Georges Dragon: marke the Con∣clusion:

the weather was cold; his stile frost-bitten; and his witt nipped in the head. Take away the flaunting and huffing braueries of his railing tropes, and craking figures: and you see the whole galiarde of his Rhetorique, that flowteth the poore Philippiques of Tully, and Demost∣henes: and mocketh him, that chaunced to name them once in foure Letters; as he vsed their word Entelechy, now a vulgar French, and English word, once in foure, and twenty Sonnets. The wise Priest could not tell, whi∣ther Epiphany were a man-saint, or a wooman-saint, or what the diuell it was. Such an Epiphany to this learned man is Entelechy; the onely quintessence of excellent, and diuine mindes, as is abooue mentioned; shewing whence they came by their heauēly and perpetuall motion. What other word could expresse that noble and vigorous mo∣tion, quicker then quicksiluer; and the liuely spring, or ra∣ther the Vestall fier of that euer-stirring Vertue of Caesar, Nescia stare loco: a mystery, and a very Chimera to this swadd of swaddes, that beginneth like a Bullbeare, goeth∣on like a bullocke, endeth like a bullfinch, and hath neuer a sparkle of pure Entelechy. Gentlemen, now you know the good nature, and handsome Art of the man; if you happen vpon a feather, or some morsell for your likyng, (it is a very sory Booke, that yeeldeth nothing for your li∣king) thanke the true Autor, of whose prouision you haue tasted; and say not but Thomas Nash hath read somthing, that affecting to seeme an Vniuersity of sciences, and a Royall Exchaunge of tounges, would be thought to haue deuoured Libraries, and to know all thinges, like Iarchas, and Syfarion, na, like Adam, and Salomon, the archpa∣trons of our new Omniscians. If he did so in verity, it were the better for him, and not the worse for me: but you see

his doing, and my suffering. Neither I, nor my betters can please all: nor he, nor his Punyes will displease all: but as in the best something remaineth, that may be amended, without derogation to their credit; so in the worst there may appeare something, worth the allowance, with no great cōmendation to their person. Were I disposed to dis∣course, as somtime I haue bene forward vpō lesse occasiō, for the onely exercise of my stile, and some practise of my reading; I could with a facility declare at-large, that may briefly be rouched. Amongst so many notable workes of diuine wittes, excepting the workes of Gods owne fin∣ger; there is not any so absolutely excellent, wherein some blemish of imperfection may not be noted: n•…•…ramongst amongst so many contemptible Pamflets, any so simply base, but may yeeld some little frute of aduertisement, or some few blossoms of discourse. In the souerain workemanship of Nature herselfe, what garden of flowers without weedes? what orchyard of trees without woormes? what field of Corne without cockle? what ponde of fishes without frogges? what sky of light without darknesse? what mir∣rour of knowledge without ignorance? what man of Earth, without frailty? what commodity of the world without discommodity? Oh! what an honorable, and wonderfull Creature were Perfection, were there any such visible Creature vnder heauen? But pure Excellncy dwel∣leth onely abooue; and what mortall wised me can ac∣cleere itselfe from errour? or what heroicall vertue can iu∣stifie, I haue no vice? The most precious things vnder the Sunne, haue their defaultes: and the vilest thinges vpon Earth, want not their graces. Virgill could enrich himselfe with the rubbish of •…•…nnius: to how many rusty-dusty Waines was braue Liuy beholding? Tully, that was as

fine as the Crusado, disdained not some furniture of his predecessours, that were as course, as canuas: and he that will diligently seeke, may assuredly finde treasure in merle, corne in straw, gold in drosse, pearles in shell-fishes, preci∣ous stones in the dunghill of Esope, rich iewels of lear∣ning, and wisedome, in some poore boxes. He that re∣membreth Humfrey Cole, a Mathematicall Mechaniciā, Matthew Baker a ship wright, Iohn Shute an Architect, Robert Norman a Nauigatour, William Bourne a Gun∣ner, Iohn Hester a Chimist, or any like cunning, and sub∣tile Empirique, (Cole, Baker, Shute, Norman, Bourne, Hester will be remembred, when greater Clarkes shalbe forgotten) is a prowd man, if he contemne expert artisans, or any sensible industrious Practitioner, howsoeuer Vnle∣ctured in Schooles, or Vnlettered in bookes. Euen the Lord Vulcan himselfe, the supposed God of the forge, and thunder-smith of the great king Iupiter, tooke the repulse at the handes of the Lady Minerua, whom he would in ar∣dent looue haue taken to wife. Yet what witt, or Pollicy honoreth not Vulcan? and what profounde Mathemati∣cian, like Digges, Hariot, or Dee, esteemeth not the preg∣nant Mechanician? Let euery man in his degree enjoy his due: and let the braue enginer, fine Daedalist, skilfull Nep∣tunist, maruelous Vulcanist, and euery Mercuriall occupa∣tioner, that is, euery Master of his craft, and euery Do∣ctour of his mystery, be respected according to the vtter∣most extent of his publique seruice, or priuate industry. I cannot stand to specifie particularities. Our late writers are, as they are: and albeit they will not suffer me to bal∣lance them with the honorable Autors of the Romanes, Grecians, and Hebrues, yet I will craue no pardon of the highest, to do the simplest no wrong. In Grafton, Holin∣shed,

and 〈◊〉〈◊〉; in H•…•…ywood, Tuffer, and Gowge; in Gas•…•…igne, Church•…•…, and Floide; in Ritch, Whet∣stone, and Munday; in Stany hurst, Fraunce, and Watson; in Kiffin, Warner, and Daniell; in an hundred such vulgar writers, many things are commendable, diuers things no∣table, somethings excellent. Fraunce, Kiffin, Warner, and Daniell, of whom I have elsewhere more especiall occa∣sion to entreate, may haply finde a thankefull remem∣braunce of their laudable trauailes. For a polished, and garnished stile, fewe go-beyonde Cartwright, and the chiefest of his Confuters, furnished writers: and how few may wage comparison with Reinolds, Stubbes, Mulca∣ster, Norton, Lambert, and the Lord Henry Howarde? whose seuerall writings the siluer file of the workeman re∣commendeth to the plausible interreinement of the dain∣tiest Censure. Who can deny, but the Resolution, and Mary Magdalens funerall teares, are penned elegantly, and pathetically? 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 of Witchcraft, dismas∣keth 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 impostures, and in certaine princi∣pall Chapters, & speciall passages, hitteth the nayle on the head with a witnesse: howsoeuer I could haue wished, he had either dealt somewhat more curteously with Monsi∣cur Bodine, or 〈◊〉〈◊〉 him somwhat more effectually. Let me not forget the Apology of sundry proceedings by Iu∣risdiction Ecclesiasticall, or, the Aunswere to an Abstract of certaine Actes of Parliament, Iniunctions, Canōs, con∣stitutions, and Synodals Prouinciall: vnlesse I will skip two of the most-materiall, and most-formall Treatises, that any English Print hath lately 〈◊〉〈◊〉. Might I respe∣•…•… presume to intimate my slender opinion, without flattery, or other vndecency: methought euer Doctour Whitgift (whom I name with honour) in his Sermons

was pithy: Doctour Hutton profound: Doctour Young piercing to the quicke: Doctour Chaderton copious: M. Curtes elegant: M. Wickam sententious: M. Drant curi∣ous: M. Deering sweet: Doctor Still sound: Doctor Vn∣derhill sharpe: Doctor Matthew fine: M. Lawherne gallāt: M. Dooue eloquent: M. Andrewes learned: M. Chader∣ton methodicall: M. Smith Patheticall: sundry other in their proper veyne notable, some exquisite, afew singular. Yet which of the best hath all perfections? (nihil omni ex parte beatum) or which of the meanest hath not some ex∣cellency? I cannot read-ouer all: I haue seldome heard some: (it was neuer my happ to heare Doctour Cooper, Doctour Humfry, or Doctor Fletcher, but in Latin): and I would be loth to iniury, or preiudice any, that deserueth well, Viua voce, or by pen. I deeme him wise, that maketh choice of the best; auoideth the worst; reapeth fruite by both; despiseth nothing, that is not to be abhorred; accep∣teth of any thing, that may be tollerated; interteineth eue∣ry thing with cōmendation, fauour, cōtentment, or amēd∣ment. Lucians asse, Apuleius asse, Agrippas asse, Macchia∣uels asse, miself since I was dubbed an asse by the only Mo∣narch of asses, haue found sauory herbes amongst nettles; roses amōgst prickles; berryes amongst bushes; marrow a∣mōgst bones; graine amōgst stubble; a little corne amōgst a great deale of chaff. The abiectest naturalls haue their speci∣ficall properties, and some wondrous vertues: and Philoso∣phy will not flatter the noblest, or worthiest naturals in their venoms, or impurities. True Alchimy cā alledge much for her Extractions, and quintessences: & true Phisique more for her corrections, and purgations. In the best, I cannot commende the badd: and in the baddest, I reiect not the good: but precisely play the Alchimist, in seeking pure and

sweet balmes in the rankest poisons. A pithy, or filed sen∣tence is to be embraced, whosoeuer is the Autor: and for the lest benefit receiued, a good minde will render duti∣full thankes, euen to his greatest enemy. ô Humanity, my Lullius, or ô Diuinitie, my Paracelsus, how should a man become that peece of Alchimy, that can turne the Rattes∣bane of Villany into the Balme ofhonesty; or correct the Mandrake of scurrility with the myrrhe of curtesie, or the saffron of temperance. Conceiue a fountaine of conten∣tation, as it were of Oyle, or a bath of delight, as it were of nectar: and preferre that saffron, or myrrhe, that odorife∣rous saffron, or aromaticall myrrhe, before this souerain Oyle; and that Balme, that 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Balme, before this hea∣uenly nectar. No naturall Restoratiue, like that saffron, or myrrhe, the very death of contention; nor any artifici∣all Cordiall, like that Balme, the very life ofhumanity, or should I rather say? the very life of life. We haue many new Methods, and platformes; and some nodoubt as ex∣quisite, as scrupulous; but assuredly it were an excellent method, and singular platforme, to honour the wise, and moderate the foole; to make-much of the learned, and in∣struct the ignorant; to embrace the good, and reforme the badd; to wish harme to none, & do well to all; and finally (for that is the scope of this, and some other Discourses) to commende the Fox, and prayse the Asse. Martin himselfe is not altogither a waspe: nor Browne altogither a Canker∣woorme: nor Barrow altogither a Scorpion: nor haply Kett altogither a Cockatrice. Take heede of the snake in the grasse, or the padd in the straw; and feare no bugges. Be Martin a Martin Guerra; Browne a browne-bill; Bar∣row a wheelbarrow; Kett a kight; H. N. an O. K; if any sound iudgements finde themselues beholding vnto them

in any point of aduisement, or consideration (fingular men, and namely Scismatiques, and Heretiques were euer woont to haue some thing, or other, extraordinary, and re∣markable) they may without my contradiction confesse their beholdingnesse; and for so much professe a recogni∣sance of their dett. I thanke Nash for something: Greene for more: Pap hatchet for much more: Perne for most of all. Of him I learned to know him, to know my enemies, * 1.1 to know my frends, to know miselfe, to know the world, to know fortune, to know the mutability of times, and slipperinesse of occasions: an inestimable knowledge, and incomparably more worth, then Doctor Gregories 〈◊〉〈◊〉 mirabilis, or Politians 〈◊〉〈◊〉. He was an old soaker indeede: and had more witt in his hoary head., then six hundred of these floorishing greene heads, and lusty cur∣led pates. He would either wisely hold his peace: or smoothly flatter me to my face: or suerly pay-home with a witnesse: but commonly in a corner, or in a maze, where the Autour might be vncertaine, or his packing intricate, or his purpose some way excusable. No man could beare a heauy iniury more lightly: or forbeare a learned aduer∣sary more cunningly: or bourde a wilfull frend more dry∣ly: or circumuent a daungerous foe more couertly: or countermine the deepest vnderminer more suttelly: or lul∣laby the circumspectest Argus more sweetly: or trans∣forme himselfe into all shapes more deftly: or play any part more kindly. He had such a Patience, as might sof∣ten the hardest hart: such a sober-moode, as might ripen the greenest witt: such a slye dexterity, as might quicken the dullest spirite: such a scrupulous manner of procee∣ding in doubtfull cases, as might putt a deepe considera∣tion into the shallowest phantasy: such a suspicious ielousy,

as might smell-out the secretest complot, & defeat any pra∣ctise: such an inextricable sophistry, as might teach an Aga∣thocles to hypocrise profoundly, or a Hieron to tyrannise learnedly. Whereas other carried their harts in their toungues, and their heads in their pennes; he liked no such simplicity, but after a smugge, and fleering guise, carried his toungue in his hart, his penne in his head; his dagger in his sleeue; his loue in his boosome, his spite in his pocket: and whē their speech, writing, or coūtenaunce bewrayed their affectiō, (as the maner is), nothing but his fact discouered his drift; & not the Beginning, but the End was the inter∣preter of his meaning. Some of vs, by way of experiment, assayed to feele his pulse, and to tickle his wily veynes in his owne veyne, with smoothing, and glosing as handsom∣ly, as we could: but the bottome of his minde, was a Gulfe of the maine, & nothing could sound him deepely, but the issue. Iwis elder men had bene too-young to ma∣nage such an enterprise with successe: and the finest intel∣ligencer, or sagest Politician in a state, would vndoubted∣ly haue bene grauelled in the execution of that rash at∣tempt. He could speake by contraries, as queintly as So∣crates; and do by contraries, as shrewdly as Tiberius: the master of Philip de Comines, Lewes the French king, one of the busiest, ielousest, and craftiest Princes, that euer raigned in that kingdome, might haue borrowed the Foxes satchell of him: and peraduenture not onely Aesops, or Archilochus Fox, but euen Lysanders Fox, Aristome∣nes Fox, Pisistratus Fox, Vlysses Fox, Chirons Fox, and Proteus owne Fox might learne of him, to play the Fox in the hole. For Stephen Gardiners Fox, or Macchia∣uels Fox, are too-young Cubbes, to compare with him; that would seeme any thing, rather then a Fox, and be a

Fox rather then any thing else. Legendaries may recorde woonderments: but examine the suttellest Counsels, or the wilyest practises of Gargantua himselfe, and euen Gar∣gantua himselfe, albeit his gowne were furred with two thousand, & fiue hundred Fox-skinnes, mought haue bene his Pupill. And I doubt not but he that worshipped Solem in Leone, after some few Lectures in his Astronomy, would haue honored Solem in Vulpe. He once kept a Cubbe for his pleasure in Peter-house in Cambridge (as some keepe birds, some squirrels, some puppyes, some apes, and so forth), and ministred notable matter to S. Maryes Pulpet, with Stories of the Cubb, and the Fox, whose Actes, and Monuments are notorious: but had the young-one bene as cunning an Artist for his part, as the Old-one was for his; I beleeue, all the Colledges in both Vniuersities, or in the great Vniuersitie of Christendome, could not haue patterned the young mā with such an other Batche∣lour of sophistry, or the old master with such an other Do∣ctour of Hypocrisie. Men may discourse at pleasure, and feede themselues with Carpes, and Pikes: but I haue knowen few of so good a nature, so deuoide of obstinacy; so far alienated from contumacy; so contrary to froward∣nesse, or testiuenesse; so tractable, so buxom, so flexible; so appliable to euery time, place, and person; so curious in obseruing the least circumstance of importance, or ad∣uantage; so conformable to publique proceedings, and priuate occasions; so respectfull to euery one of quality; so curteous to men of woorship; so dutifull to men of ho∣nour; so ceremonious in tendering his deuotion to his good Lordes, or good Ladyes; so obedient to autority; so loyall to maiesty; so indifferent to all, and in all. He was gentle without familiarity, (for he doubted contempt): se∣uere

without rigour, (for he feared od•…•…ousnesse): pleasant without leuity, (for he regarded his estimation): graue without solēnity, (for he curred popular fauour): not rash, but quicke; not hasty, but speedy; not hoat, but warme; not eger in show, but earnest indeede; no barker at any, but a biter of some; round, and sound. The Clergy neuer wanted excellent Fortune-wrightes: but what Byshop, or Politician in Englād, so great a Temporiser, as he, whom euery alteration founde a new-man, euen as new as the new Moone? And as he long yawned to be an Archbi∣shop, or Byshop, in the one, or other Church, (they wron∣ged him, that termed the Image of both Churches, a neu∣ter): so did he not arch-deserue, to be installed the puling Preacher of Humility, humility, humility; and the gaping Oratour of Obedience, obedience, obedience? Was not euer Pax vobis, one end of his gasping Sermon, & the very foote of his warbling Song? Be it percase a small matter to temporise in foure alterations of Kinges, and Queenes: but what an Ambidexterity, or rather Omnidexterity had the man, that at one, and thesame meeting, had a pleasing Toungue for a Protestant, a flattering Eye for a Papist, and a familiar nodd for a good fellow? It was nothing with him to Temporise in genere, or in specie, according to Mac∣chiauels grounde offortunate successe in the world; that could so formally, & featly Personise in indiuiduo. He must know all the sinewes of commodity, and acquaint him∣selfe with all the ioints of aduantage, that will liue, and teach other to liue. ô foelix Cato, tu solus nosti Viuere. Or if Cato were ouer-peremptory, and Stoicall, to enioy that felicity, ô foelix Perne, tua solius Ars viuendi. Doubtlesse it were better for the world, by infinite masses of millions, could the barbarous, and Tragicall Tyrants, Saturne, and

Mars, two diuellish Gods, moderate their fury, as he could do: or the hypocriticall, and Comicall Tyrants, Iupiter, and Mercury, two godly Diuels, temper their cunning, as he could do. It was in him, to giue instructions vnto O∣uid, for the repenning of his Metamorphoses anew: and he better merited the name of Vertumnus, then Vertum nus himselfe. His designements were mysteries: his Cour∣cels, Oracles: his intentions like Minotaure in the Laby∣rinth: his actions like the Stratagemes of Fabius: his defi∣ance like the wellcome of Circe: his menaces, like the songs of the Sirens: his curses, like the blessinges of those witches in Aphrica, that forspoke, what they praysed, and destroyed, what they wished to be saued. I haue seen span∣nels, mungrels, libbards, antelops; scorpions, snakes, cocka∣trices, vipers, and many other Serpents in sugar-worke: but to this day neuer sawe such a standing dish of Sugar∣worke, as that sweet-toungued Doctor; that spake plea∣singly, whatsouer he thought; and was otherwhiles a fayre Prognostication of fowle weather. Such an autenticall I∣rony engrosed, as all Oratory cannot eftsoones counter∣pane. Smooth voyces do well in most societies; and go currently away in many recknings, when rowgh-hewne words do but lay blockes in their own way. He found it in a thousand experiences; and was the precisest practitioner of that soft, and tame Rhetorique, that euer I knew in my dealings. And in case I should prefer any man of whatsoe∣uer quality before him, for a stayed gouernement of his affections, (which he alwayes ruled, as Homers Minerua brideled Pegasus), or for an infinite and bottomlesse pati∣ence, sibb to the patience of Anaxarchus, or •…•…ob, I should iniury him, and mine owne cōscience, exceedingly. Were he handeled, as London kennels are vsed of sluttes, or the

Thames of sloouens; he could pocket-it-vp, as handsome∣ly, as they; and complaine in as fewe wordes, as any cha∣nell, or riuer in England, when they are most contumeli∣ously depraued. His other vertues, were colours in graine: his learning, lawne in starch: his wisedome, napry in suddes: his conscience, the weather in Aprill, when he was young; the weather in Septēber, as he grew elder; the wea∣ther in February, toward his end; and not such a current Prognosticatiō for the fifty yeares, wherein he floorished, as the Ephemerides of his Conscience. For his smug, and Canonicall countenaunce, certainly he mought haue bene S. Boniface himselfe: for his fayre, and formall speach, S. Benedict, or S. Eulaly: for his merry cōceits, S. Hillary: for his good husbandry, (he was merry, and wise) S. Serua∣tius: for his inuincible sufferance, S. Vincent the Martir: for his retracting, or recanting, S. Augustine: for his not seeing all thinges, S. Bernard: for his preaching to geese, S. Frauncis, or S. Fox: for his praying, a S. Pharise: for his fasting, a S. Publicane: for his chastitie, a Solin virgine: for his pastorall deuotion, a Shepheards Calendar: for his Fame, an Almanacke of Saincts. But if cuer any were Pa∣tience incorporate, it was he: and if euer any were Hypo∣crisy incarnate, it was he; vnto whō I promised to dedicate an eternall memoriall of his immortall vertues, and haue payed some little part of my vowes. I twice, or thrise tryed him to his face, somewhat sawcily, and smartly: but the Picture of Socrates, or the Image of S. Andrew, not so vn∣mooueable: and I still reuerence the honorable remem∣braunce of that graue, and most eloquent Silence, as the sagest lesson of my youth. Had Nash a dramme of his witt, his Aunswere should haue bene Mum; or his Confu∣tation, the sting of the Scorpion. Other Straunge Newes,

like Pap-hatchets rapp with a Bable, are of the nature of thatsame snowt-horned Rhinoceros, that biteth himselfe by the nose; and besturre them, like the dowty fencer of Barnewell, that played his taking-vp with a Recumbenti∣bus, and his laying-downe with a broken pate in some three, or foure corners of his head. He must reuenge him∣selfe with a learned Discourse of deepest Silence, or come better prouided, then the edge of the rasour, that would be valued as wise, as that Apollo Doctour. Whose Epi∣taph none can display accordingly, but some Sprite of the Ayer, or the fier. For his Zeale to God, and the Church, was an aery Triplicity: and his deuotion to his Prince, and the State, a fiery Trigon. And suerly he was well-aduised, that comprized a large History in one Epi∣thite, and honoured him with the title of the Thrise-learned Deane. Onely I must needes graunt, one such secret, and profound enemy, or shall I say? one such thrise-secret, and thrise-profound enemy, was incomparably more pernici∣ous, then a hundred Hatchets, or Country-cuffes; a thou∣sand Greenes, or Cunny catchers; an army of Nashes, or Pierces Penniles; a forrest of wilde beastes; or whatsoeuer Ilias of professed Euils. It is not the threatener, but the vn∣derminer, that worketh the mischief: not the open assault, but the priuy surprize, that terrifieth the old souldiour: not the surging floud, but the low water, that affrayeth the ex∣pert Pilot: not the high, but the hidden rocke, that endan∣gereth the skilfull Mariner: not the busie Pragmaticall, but the close Politician, that supplanteth the puissant state: not proclaimed warre, but pretended peace, that striketh the deadly stroke. What Historian remembreth not the suttle Stratagemes of king Bacchus against the Indians: of king Midas against the Phrygians: of king Romulus against the

Sabines: of king Cyrus against the Lydians: of many other Politique Conquerours, against sundry mighty nations, Principalities, Segniories, Citties, Castels, Fortresses? Braue Valour may sometime execute with fury: but Prowesse is weake in comparison of other practises: & no puissance to Pollicy; no rage to craft; no force to witt; no pretence to Religiō, (what spoiles vnder colour of Religiō?) no text to the glosse; what will not the glosse maintaine by hooke, or crooke? It was not Mercuries woodknife, that could so easely haue dispatched Argus, the Lieutenant of Queene Iuno, had not his inchaūting Pipe first lulled him asleepe. And was not Vlysses in greater reoperdy by the alluring Sirens, charming Musicians, then by cruell Polyphemus, a boisterous Giant? Vndoubtedly Caesar was as singularly wise, as vnmatchably valiant; & rather a Fox, then a Lion: but in his wisedome he was more affrayde of Sylla, thē of Marius; of Cato, then of Catiline; of Cassius, then of An∣tony; of Brutus, then of Pompey; to be short; of Saturne, then of Mars; of Mercury, then of Iupiter himselfe. It were a long discourse, to suruey the wily traines, and crafty fetches of the old, and new world: but whosoeuer is ac∣quainted with Stratagemes, auncient, or moderne, know∣eth what an hourde of Pollicies lurketh in the shrowde of Dissimulation: & what wonders may be atchieued by vn∣expected suprizes. The professed enemy rather encom∣breth himselfe, & annoyeth his frendes, thē ouerthroweth his aduersary, or oppresseth his foes. Alexanders, and Caesars suddaine irruptions made them the Lordes of the world, and masters of kinges: whiles greatest threateners got nothing, but greatest losse, and greater shame. What should I speake of the first founders of Monarchyes, 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and Cyrus? of the Venturous Argo-pilots? of the wor∣thy

Herôes? of the dowtiest Errant Knights? of the brauest men in all ages? whose mightiest engin, (notwithstanding whatsoeuer hyperbole of Valour, or fury) was Scarborough warning; and whose Conquestes were assoone knowen-a∣broad, as their Inuasions. No power, like the vnlikely as∣sault: nor any mischief so peremptory, as the vnlooked-for affliction. He that warneth me, armeth me; and it is much, that a prepared minde, and boddy may endure: but vnsus∣pected accidents are hardly remedied: and in the fayrest weather of security, to offer the fowlest play of hostility, is an incredible aduantage. So Caesar Borgia, the souerain Type of Macchiauels Prince, wan the Dukedome of Vr∣bin, in one day. So the Emperour Charles the Fiftes Ar∣my, passing thorough Roome, occursiuely sacked the Cit∣ty, and enriched themselues exceedingly. So many in∣uincible states haue bene suddainly ruinated: and many puissant personages easely vanquished. Braue exploites, where the Cause as honorable, as the Effect admirable. But honorable, or dishonorable, Pollicy was euer a priuy Councell, whose Posie, Dolus, an Virtus: Glory a rau•…•…∣shing Oration: Ambition a Courser: Looue a hoat-spurre: Anger a fierbrand: Hope a graine of mustard-seede: Cou∣rage an errant Knight: Couetice a marchant Vēturer: Fu∣ry a fierce executioner; whose word, the sword, and whose Law, Non quà, sed quò. As Monarchies, Principalities, and Conquestes; so Pety-gouernements, Segniories, Lieute∣nantships, Magistracies, Masterships, Felowships, haue their coolerable practises: and nothing is cunning, that is apparent. The Fox preacheth Pax vobis, to the Capons, and geese: and neuer worse intended, then when the best pretended. Horaces, or rather Borgiaes,

Astutaingenuum Vulpes imitata Leonem; the deepest

grounde of highest pollicies, and the very Stratageme of Strategemes. The glorious Indian Conquestes are fa∣mously knowen to the world: and what was the Valorous Duke of Parma in his brauest Victories, but Vulpes imitata Leonem, and a new compounde of old Stratagemes? Io∣uius Fox in his militar, and amorous Empreses, may call himselfe a Fox: but some learned Clarkes, and iudicious Censours, profound Politiques, like Macehiauell, or Perne, (for Macchiauell neuer discoursed with his pen, as Perne deuised with his minde) would go very-nigh to call him a goose, that gaue for his mott: Simul astu, et dentibus vtor. And his Griphen in some opinions, was neuer a∣whit the more terrible, for that lusty Posie, a iolly heroi∣call verse in a Grammar Schoole:

Vnguibus, et rostro, atque alis armatus in hostem. I neuer read that Alexanders Bucephalus, or Caesars couragious horse, had any such, or such glorious Posies: and I beleeue Beuisses Arundell was no great braggard with motts. The Troian Horse, or rather the Grecian Horse, was not such an Asse, to aduaunce himselfe with any such prowde Im∣prese, as, Scandit fatalis machina muros: but ministred ruth∣full, and tragicall matter of that hawty Posie to the stately Poet. Did the flying Pegasus of the redoubted Bellero∣phon, before his aduenturous expedition against the hi∣deous Lion-dragon Chimaera, that is, against the fierce sauages, which inhabited that fier-vomiting mountaine in Lycia, prouide to arme himselfe with a braue Posie; or boast of his horrible mother Medusa, or of his owne Gor∣gonean winges? Did the fiery horses of the Sunne, that is, of the hoattest East-countryes, threaten Prince Phaeton, or the world, with a dreadfull Verse?

Tune sciet ignipedum Vires expertus Equorum. May not

peraduenture the prowdest horse be countermotted with a poore fragment of Statius? Seruiet asper Equus. Or may not haply the dowtiest Asse be emblemed with a good old deuise? insulso tribulus sapit asper asello. The rowghest nett is not the best catcher of birdes: nor the finest polli∣cy, a professed Termagāt. Although Lysanders oxen said nothing, yet the Fox Lysander could tell, which of them was a sluggarde, and which laborious. It is not the Verball mott, but the actuall Imprese, that argueth a generous, or noble minde. Children, and fooles vse to crake: Action, the onely Embleme of Iugurth, and the notablest fel∣lowes; whose manner is, Plurimum facere; minimum de se loqui: the honorablest deuise, that worthy Valour can in∣uent. The Tree is knowen by the fruite; and needeth no other Posie: the gallantest mott of a good Apple-tree, is a good apple; of a good warden-tree, a good warden; of a good limon-tree, a good limon; of a good palme, a good date; of a good Vine, a good grape; and so fourth: their leaues, their Prognosticatiōs; their blossomes, their boasts; their braunches, and boughes, their brauery; their fruite, their armes, their emblemes, their nobility, their glory. I dare not say, that Pittacus was as wise, as he, that begin∣neth like front-tufted Occasion, (for Occasion is balde be∣hinde), and endeth like Ouids loouer, (for Ouids loouer must not attempt, but where he will conquer): few reso∣luter mottes, then Aut nunc aut nunquam: and what Va∣lianter Posie, then Aut nunquam tentes, aut perfice: but Pit∣tacus was one of the seuen famous Masters, and in his sage wisedome thought it a sober lesson, Foretel not, what thou intendest to atcheiue, lesse peraduenture being frustrate, thou be laughed to scorne, and made a notable flowting∣stocke. Perhaps he was an Asse; and speaketh like a Foole:

(for who is not an Asse, & a foole with this Thomas Wise∣dome?) but some plaine men are of his opinion, and will hardly beleeue that the frākest braggards are the doubtiest dooers. Were I a collectour of witty Apothegs, like Plu∣tarch, or of pithy Gnomes, like Theognis, or of dainty Emblemes, like Alciat: suerly Pittacus should not be the last, at the least in that Rhapsody. Meane-while it is no∣thing out-of my way, to prayse the close, or suspicious Asse, that will not trouble any other with his priuy Coun∣sell, but can be content to be his owne Secretary. There be more queint experiments in an Vniuersitie, then many a politique head would imagine. I could nominate the man, that could teach the Delphicall Oracle, and the Ae∣giptian Crocodile to play their parts. His Ciuill toungue was a riddle; his Ecclesiasticall toungue a Hieroglyphique; his face a visard: his eyes cormorants: his eares martyrs: his witt a maze: his hart a iuggling sticke: his minde a mist: his reason a vayle: his affection a curbe: his conscience a maske: his Religion a triangle in Geometry: his Charity a Syllogisme in Celarent: his hospitality aleuen monethes in the yeare, as good, as good Friday: for one moneth or very neere, he was resident vpō his Deanry, & kept opē house in the Ile, like Ember weeke. Of an other mans, noman more liberall: of his owne, noman more frugall. He deeply considered (as he did all thinges) that good Oeconomy was good Pollicy: that it was more wisedome to borrow, thē to lend gratis: that the rauens croking looseth him ma∣ny a fatt pray: that the forstalling, & engrosing of priuy cō∣modities, was a pretty supply of priuy Tithes: that many a little, by little & little maketh a mickle: that often returne of gaine amounteth: that the Fox neuer fareth better, then whē he is cursed most: that a siluer picklocke was good at a

pinch; and a golden hooke a cunning fisher of men: that euery man was neerest to himselfe, and the skinne neerer, then the shirt: that there were many principles, and pre∣ceptes in Art, but one principall maxime, or souerain cau∣teil in practise, Si non castè, tamen cautè: that there was no security in the world, without Epicharmus incredulity, Dions Apistie, or Heywoods Fast binde, & fast finde: that Bayard in the stable, and Legem pone, were substantiall points of Law: that many thinges are hypothetically to be practised, which may not Categorically be reuealed: that two frendes, or bretheren may keepe counsell, when one of the two is away: that Vnum necessarium: and so forth. For, Vincit, qui patitur, would go nigh-hand to open the whole packe, and tell wonderfull Tales out-off Schoole. Pap-hatchet talketh of publishing a hundred merry Tales of certaine poore Martinists: but I could here dismaske such a rich mummer, & record such a hūdredwise Tales of memo∣rable note, with such a smart Morall, as would vndoubted∣ly make this Pamflet the vendiblest booke in London, and the Register one of the famousest Autors in England. But I am none of those, that vtter all their learning attonce: and the close man (that was nomans frend, but from the teeth ontward, nomans foe, but from the hart inward) may per∣case haue some secret frendes, or respectiue acquaintance; that in regarde of his calling, or some priuate considera∣tion, would be loth to haue his coate blased, or his satchell ransacked. Beside, what methodicall Artist, would allow the Encomium of the Fox, in the prayse of the Asse, vnlesse I would prooue by irrefragable demonstration, that the false Fox was a true Asse; as I once heard a learned Phisi∣cion affirme, if a goose were a Fox, he was a Fox. Yet suerly by his fauour, who could sharply iudge, and durst

freely speake; He was a Fox, and a halfe, in his whole bo∣dy, and in euery part of his soule: albeit I will not deny, but he mought in some respectes be a Goose, and after a sort (as it were) an Asse: especially for defeating one with∣out cause, and troubling thesame without effect, that for ought he knew, might possibly haue it in him, to requite him aliue, and dead. Let the wronged party not be iniu∣ried: and I dare avowe, he neuer did, nor euer will in∣iury, or preiudice any, in deede, word, or intention: but if any whosoeuer will needes be offering abuse in fact, or snip-snapping in termes, sith other remedy shrinketh, he may peraduenture not altogither passe vnaunswered. He thinketh not now on the booted foole, that alwaies ietteth in his startups, with his Stilliard hatt in his drousie eyes: but of an other good auncient Gentleman, that mought haue bene his father for age; his tutour for learning; his counsellour for wisedome; his creditour for siluer; his Ca∣techist for Religion, and his Ghostly father for deuotion, He once in a scoldes pollicy, called me Foxe betweene iest, and earnest: (it was at the funerall of the honorable Sir Thomas Smith, where he preached, and where it plea∣sed my Lady Smith, and the coexecutours to bestow cer∣taine rare manuscript bookes vpō me, which he desired): I aunswered him betweene earnest, & iest, I might haply be a Cubb, as I might be vsed; but was ouer-yoūg to be a Fox, especially in his presence. He smiled, and replyed after his manner, with a Chameleons gape, and a very empha∣ticall nodd of the head. Whosoeuer, or whatsoeuer he was; certes my old backfrend of Peter-house, was the locke of cunning conueyance: but such a lock, as could not pos∣sibly be 〈◊〉〈◊〉 any key, but the key of opportunity, and the hand of aduantage. If Opportunity were abroad,

Iodocus was not at home: where Occasion presented Ad∣uantage, Pollicy wanted no dexterity; and the light-foo∣ted Fox was not so swift of foote, as nimble of witt, and quicke of hand. Some, tht called him the lukewarme Do∣ctour, and likened him to milke from the Cowe, founde him at such a fitt ouerwarme for their feruentest zeale: and I remember a time, when One of the hottest furnace, shewing himselfe little better then a Cowe; He a in quaue∣ring voyce, and a lightning spirite, taught the wild roe his lesson. Hast was not so forward to runne to a commodi∣ty, but Speede was swifter to fly to an aduantage: and where Hast somwhat grosely bewrayed his forwardnesse, Speede very finely marched in a cloude, and founde the goddesse Hypocrisie as sly a Conductrisse, as euer was fayre Venus to Aeneas, or wise Minerua to Vlysses, in their queint passages. We may discourse of naturall Magique, and supernaturall Cabale, whereof the learnedest and cre∣diblest antiquity hath recorded wonderfull Histories: but it is the rod of Mercury, and the ring of Gyges, that worke miracles: and no Mathematician, Magitian, or Cabalist may counteruaile him, that in his heroicall expeditions can walke in a cloude, like a Vapour, or in his diuine pra∣ctises go inuisible, like a Spirite. Braue Mindes, and Ven∣trous Harts, thanke him for this inualuable Note, that could teach you to atcheiue more with the little finger of Pollicy, then you can possibly compasse with the mighty arme of Prowesse. Os else in my curious obseruation of infinite Histories, Hypocrisie had neuer bene the great Tyrāt of the world, & the huge Antichrist of the Church. The weapon of the Fier, and Aier, is Lightening: the wea∣pon of the Earth, & Water, Cunning. Was not he shrewdly encountred, that was prestigiously besieged, and inuisi.

bly vndermined with that weapon of weapons? What o∣ther supply could haue seconded, or rescued him, but Death; that had often bene the death of his Life in his worthiest Frendes, and was eftsoones the death of his Death in his wyliest enemy. Whose Spite was intricate, but detected: and whose Subtility maruelous, but disuai∣led: and he that disclosed thesame, is perhaps to leaue an immortall Testimoniall of his Indian Discoouery. In the meane time, as the admirable Geometrician Archimedes would haue the figure of a Cylinder, or roller engraued vpon his Toombe: so it were reason, the thrise-famous Deuine, should haue the three-sided figure, or equilater Triāgle, imprinted vpon his Sepulchre: with this, or some worthier Epitaph, deuised according to the current Me∣thod of Tria sequuntur Tria.

The Coffin speaketh.

Aske not, what Newes? that come to visite wood: My Treasure is, Three Faces in One Hood: A chaungling Triangle: a Turnecoate rood. A lukewarme Trigon: a Three-edgedtoole: A three-oard galley: a three-footed stoole: A three-wing'd weathercock: a three-tongu'd Schoole. Three-hedded Cerberus, wo be vnto thee: Here lyes the Onely Trey, and Rule of Three: Of all Triplicities the A. B. C.

Some-body oweth the three-shapen Geryon a greater duty, in recognisance of his often-promised curtesies; and will not be founde Vngratefull at occasion. He were very simple, that would feare a coniuring Hatchet, a ray∣ling Greene, or a threatening Nash: but the old dreamer,

like the old dogge, biteth sore, and no foe to the flattering Perne, or pleasing Titius: that haue sugar in their lippes, gall in their stomackes; water in the one hand, fier in the o∣ther; peace in their sayings, warre in their doings; sweetnes in their exhortatiōs, bitternesse in their canuasses; reuerēce in their titles, coouē in their actions: notable men in their kinde, but pitch-branded with notorious dissimulation; large promisers, compendious performers; shallow in cha∣rity, profounde in malice; superficiall in theory, deepe in practise; masters of Sophistry, Doctors of Hypocrisie; for∣mall frends, deadly Enemies; thrise-excellent Impostours. These, these were the Onely mē, that I euer dreaded: espe∣cially thatsame od mā Triū Litterarū, that for a linsy-wool∣sie wit, & a cheuerell consciēce was A Per se A: other brag∣gardes, or threatners whatsoeuer I feare, as I feare Hobgo∣blin, & the Bugges of the night. Whē I haue sought-vp my day-charmes, and night-spelles, I hope their power to hurt, shal be as ridiculously small, as their desire to affright, is ou∣tragiously great. I neuer stood stifly in defēce of mine own hability, or sufficiency: they that empeach me of imperfe∣ction in learning, or practise, in discoursing, or endighting, in any art, or profession, cōfute me not, but confirme mine own cōfessiō. It is onely my honesty, & credit, that I ende∣uour to maintaine: other defectes I had rather supply by industry, thē cloake by excuse: & referre the decisiō of such points to the arbitremēt of Indifferēcy: to which also I pre∣ferre the Prayses of my dispraisers: & beseech Equity to rē∣der them their due, with a largesse of fauour. Iudgement is the wisest reader of Bookes: and no Art of distinctions, so infallible, as grounded Discretion: which will soone dis∣cerne betweene White, and Blacke: and easely perceiue, what wanteth, what superaboundeth; what becommeth,

what misbecommeth; what in this, or that respect deser∣ueth commendation; what may reasonably, or probably be excused; what would be marked with an Asteriske, what noted with a blacke coale. As in mettals, so in stiles he hath slender skill, that cannot descry copper from gold, tinne from siluer, iron from steele, the refuse from the rich veyne, the drosse from the pure substance. It is little of Value, either for matter, or manner, that can be perfor∣med in such perfunctory Pamflets, on either side: but how little soeuer it be, or may appeare, for mine owne part I refuse not to vnderly the Verdict of any curteous, or e∣quall censure, that can discerne betwixt chalke, and cheese. Touching the matter, what wanteth, or might be expected here, shall be particularly, and largely recompensed, aswell in my Discourses, intituled Nashes S. Fame, which are al∣ready finished, and attend the Publication: as also in other Supplemēts thereof, especially those of the aboue-mētio∣ned Gentlewoman, whō after some aduisemēt it pleased, to make the Straunge Newes of the railing Villan, the cus∣sionet of her needles, and pinnes. Though my scriblings may fortune to continue awhile, and then haue their de∣sert, according to the laudable custome; (what should toyes, or dalliances liue in a world of businesse?) yet I dare vndertake with warrant, whatsoeuer she writeth, must needes remaine an immortall worke; and will leaue in the actiuest world an eternall memory of the silliest vermin, that she shall voutsafe to grace with her bewtifull, and al∣lectiue stile, as ingenious as elegant. Touching the manner, I take it a nice and friuolous curiositie for my person, to bestow any cost vpon a trifle of no importance: and am so ouershaddowed with the floorishing braunches of that heauenly plant, that I may seeme to haue purposely pre∣uented

all comparison, in yeelding that homage to her di∣uine witt, which at my handes she hath meritoriously de∣serued. Albeit I protest, she was neither bewitched with entreaty; nor iuggled with persuasion; nor charmed with any corruption: but onely moued with the reason which the Equity of my cause, after some little cōmunication, in her Vnspotted Conscience suggested. They that long to aduaunce their owne shame (I alwayes except a Phenix, or two) may brauely enter the listes of comparison, & do her the highest honour in despite, that they could possibly deuise in a seruiceable deuotiō. She hath in my knowledge read the notablest Historyes of the most-singular woomen of all ages, in the Bible, in Homer, in Virgill, (her three so∣uerain Bookes, the diuine Archetypes of Hebrue, Greeke, and Roman Valour); in Plutarch, in Polyen, in Petrarch, in Agrippa, in Tyraquell, in whom not, that haue special∣ly tendered their diligent deuoir, to honour the excellen∣test woomen, that haue liued in the world: and commen∣ding the meanest, extolling the worthiest, imitating the rarest, and approouing all according to the proportion of their endowments, enuieth none, but Art in person, and Vertue incorporate, the two preciousest creatures, that e∣uer floorished vpon earth. Other woomen may yeelde to Penelope: Penelope to Sappho: Sappho to Arachne: Arachne to Minerua: Minerua to Iuno: Iuno to none of her sexe: She to all, that vse her, and hers well: to none of any sexe, that misuse her, or hers. She is neither the no∣blest, nor the fairest, nor the finest, nor the richest Lady: but the gentlest, and wittiest, and brauest, and inuinciblest Gentlewoman, that I know. Not such a wench in Eu∣rope, to vnswaddle a faire Baby, or to swaddle a fowle puppy. Some of you may aime at her personage: and it

is not the first time, that I haue termed her stile, the tinsell of the daintiest Muses, and sweetest Graces: but I dare not Particularise her Description according to my conceit of her beaudesert, without her licence, or permission, that standeth vpon masculine, not feminine termes; and is re∣spectiuely to be dealt withall, in regarde of her courage, rather then her fortune. And what, if she can also publish more workes in a moneth; thē Nash hath published in his whole life; or the pregnantest of our inspired Heliconists can equall? Could I dispose of her Recreations, and some others Exercises; I nothing doubt, but it were possible (not∣withstanding the most-curious curiositie of this age) to breede a new admiration in the minde of Contempt, & to restore the excellentest bookes into their wōted estate, euen in integrum. Let me be notoriously condemned of Partiali∣ty, and simplicity, if she fayle to accomplish more in gal∣lant performance, (now she hath condescended to the spinning-vpp of her silken taske) then I euer promised be∣fore, or may seeme to insinuate now. Yet she is a woo∣man; and for some passions may challenge the generall Priuiledge of her sexe, and a speciall dispensation in the cause of an affectionate frend, deuoted to the seruice of her excellent desert; whom he hath founde no lesse, then the Handmayd of Art, the mistres of Witt, the Gentlewo∣man of right Gentlenesse, and the Lady of right Vertue. Howbeit euen those passions she hath so ordered, and ma∣naged, with such a witty temper of violent, but aduised motions, full of spirite, and bloud, but as full of sense, and iudgement, that they may rather seeme the marrow of rea∣son, than the froath of affection: and her hoattest fury may fitly be resembled to the passing of a braue career by a Pe∣gasus, ruled with the reanes of a Mineruas bridle. Her Pen

is a very Pegasus indeede, and runneth like a winged horse, gouerned with the hand of exquisite skill. She it is, that must returne the mighty famous worke of Superero∣gation with Benet, and Collect. I haue touched the boo∣ted Shakerley alittle, that is alwayes riding, and neuer ri∣deth; alwayes confuting, and neuer confuteth; alwayes ai∣ling something, and railing any thing: that shamefully, and odiously misuseth euery frend, or acquaintance, as he hath serued some of his fauorablest Patrons, (whom for certain respectes I am not to name), M. Apis Lapis, Greene, Mar∣low, Chettle, and whom not? that saluteth me with a Ga∣brielissime Gabriel, which can giue him the farewell with a Thomassissime Thomas, or an Assissime Asse; yet haue not called him a filthy companion, or a scuruy fellow, as all the world, that knoweth him, calleth him: that in his Pi∣erce Penniles, and Straunge Newes, the Bull-beggers of his courage, hath omitted no word, or phrase of his rai∣ling Dictionary, but onely Tues Starnigogolus: and hath Valiantly vowed to haue The Last Word, to dye for't.

Plaudite Victori, Iuuenes hîc quotquot adestis: Nam me qui vicit, doctior est Nebulo.

The best is, where my Aunswere is, or may be deemed Vnsufficient, (as it is commonly ouer-tame for so wilde a Bullocke), there She with as Visible an Analysis, as any A∣natome, strippeth his Art into his doublet; his witt into his shirt; his whole matter, & manner into their first Prin∣ciples; his matter in Materiā Primam; his manner in formam primam; and both in Priuationem Vltimam, id est, his Last Word, so gloriously threatened. I desire no other fauour at the handes of Curtesie, but that Art, and Witt may be her readers; & Equitie my iudge: to whose Vnpartiall In∣tegrity I humbly appeale in the Premisses: with dutiful re∣commendatiō

of Nashes S. Fame, euē to S. Fame herselfe: who withher owne floorishing handes is shortly to erect a Maypole in honour of his Victorious Last Word. Doubt ye not, gallāt Gentlemē, he shall finde the guerdon of his Va∣lour, & the meede of his meritorious worke. Though my Pen be a slugplum, looke for a quill, as quicke, as quicksil∣uer; & pitty the soary swaine, that hath incurred the indi∣gnatiō of such a quill; and may euerlastingly be a miserable Spectacle for all libelling rakehelles, that otherwise might desperatly presume to venture the foyle of their cranke fol∣ly. The stay of the Publicatiō, resteth onely at my instance: who can cōceiue small hope of any possible account, or re∣gard of mine owne discourses, were that faire body of the sweetest Venus in Print, as it is redoubtably armed with the compleat harnesse of the brauest Minerua. When his necessary defence hath sufficiently accleered him, whom it principally concerneth to acquitt himselfe: She shall no sooner appeare in person, like a new Starre in Cassiopea, but euery eye of capacity will see a conspicuous difference betweene hor, and other myrrours of Eloquence: and the wofull slaue of S. Fame must either blindfilde himselfe with insensible 〈◊〉〈◊〉, or behold his owne notorious folly, with most-shamefull shame. It will then appeare, as it were in a cleere Vrinall, whose witt hath the greene∣sicknesse: and I would deeme it a greater maruell, then the mightiest wōder, that happened in the famous yeare, 88. if his cause should not haue the falling-sicknesse, that is encoū∣tred with an arme of such force. M. Stowe, let it be en∣chronicled for one of the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, or miracles of this age, that a thing lighter then Tarletons Toy, and vayner then Shake•…•…leyes conceit, that is, Nash, should be the sub∣iect of so inualuable a worke: and be it knowen to Im∣pudency

by these Presentes, that his brasen wall is battred to Pindust, and his Iron gate shaken all to nothing. It is in the least of her energeticall lines to do it: more easely, thē a fine thread cracketh a •…•…gling Bell. A pretty experiment: & not vnlike some of her straunge inuentions, and rare de∣uises, as forcible to mooue, as feat to delight. The issue will resolue the doubtfullest minde: and I am content to re∣ferre Incredulity, to the visible, and palpable euidence of the Terme Probatory. When either the Light of Nature, and the Sunne of Art must be in Eclipse: or the shining rayes of her singular giftes will display themselues in their accustomed brightnesse; and discoouer the base 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of that mischieuous Planet, that in a vile ambition see∣keth the exaltation of his fame, by the depression of their credit, that are hable to extinguish the proudest glimze of his Lampe. Her rare perfections can liuelyest blason them∣selues: and this penne is a very vnsufficient Oratour to ex∣presse the heauenly bewties of her minde: but I neuer knew Vertue, a more inuiolable Virgine, then in her ex∣cellent selfe: and the day is yet to come, wherein I euer founde her Witt a defectiue, or Eclyptique creature. She knoweth, I flatter not her Fortune: and if I honour her Vertue, whofe confirmed modestie I could neuer see dis∣guised with any glose of commendation; who can blame me for discharging some little part of a greater dutie? She hath in meere gratuity bestowed a largesse vpon her affe∣ctionate seruaunt; that imputeth thesame, as an excessiue fauour, to her hyperbolicall curtesie, not to any merite in himselfe: but the lesser my desert, the greater her liberali∣ty; whom I cannot any way reacquite, farther then the zeale of a most-deuoted minde may extende; as incessant∣ly thankefull, as infinitly debtfull. For to addresse a plausi∣ble

discourse, or to garnish a Panegyricall Oration in her prayse, as occasion may present; will appeare to be a taske of Ciuill Iustice, not any peece of Ciuill curtesie, when her owne siluer Tractes shall publish the precious valour of her golden Vertues, and decipher the inestimable worth of the Autor by her diuine handyworke. At the first vewe whereof, as at the piercing sight of the amiablest Bewtie, who can tell how suddaine Passions may worke? or what a sting, some tickling Interiection may leaue in the hart, and liuer of affection? I am euer prone to hope, as I wish, euen the best of the worst: and although wilfull Malice be a stiffe, and stubberne aduersary to appease, yet I haue seene a greater miracle, then the pacification of Paper-warres, or the attonement of Inkhorne foes. There She standeth, that with the finger of Industry, and the toungue of Affa∣bility, hath acheiued some straunger woonders, vpon as rough, and harsh fellowes, as

The noddy Nash, whom euery seruing Swash With pot-iestes dash, and euery whip-dog lash:

(for the ryme is more famous, then was intended): and with thesame causes emprooued, why may She not directly, or violent∣ly accomplish thesame effectes? or what is impossible to the persuasiue, and Patheticall influence of Reason, and Affection? It is a very dismall, and caitiue Planet, that can finde in his hart to encounter those two gracious Starres, with malitious aspectes: which he must despitefully en∣counter, that will obstinatly oppose his peeuish rancour to her sweete Ciuility. In case nothing else will preuayle with insatiable Enuy, and vnquenchable Malice, (for so I am eftsoones informed, whatsoeuer course be taken for the mitigation of his rage): yet I am vehemently persua∣ded in Physique, and resolued in Pollicy, that the Oile of

Scorpions will finally heale the woondes of Scorpions. I know One, that experimentally prooued what a rod in lye could do with the curstest boy in a Citty; and founde the Imparatiue moode a better Oratour, then the Opta∣tiue. It may fortune, thesame man hath such a Whipsy∣doxy in store for a Iack-sauce, or vnmannerly puppy, as may Schoole him to turne-ouer a new leafe, and to cry the pittifullest Peccaui of a wofull Penitent. For my part, whom at this instant it smartly behooueth to be resolute, I confesse I was neuer more entangled, and intricated in the discourse of mine owne reason, then since I had to do with this desperate Dick; that dareth vtter, and will cogge any thing, to serue his turne. Not to confute him, in some re∣spectes were perhaps better: to confute him, is necessary. Were it possible, to confute him in not confuting him, I am of opinion, it would be done: (for Insolency, or any iniury would be repressed by order of Law, where order of Law is a sufficient remedy: and Silence, in some cases were the finest Eloquence; or Scorne, the fittest an∣swere): and haply I could wish, not to confute him in con∣futing him, (for the discoouery of Cunny catchers doth not greatly edifie some bad mindes): but seing he is so de∣sperate, that he will not be confuted with not confuting, I must desire his Patience, to be alittle content to be con∣futed with confuting, rather after his, or others guise, then after my manner. Aunswere not a foole according to his foolishnesse, lest thou also be like him: aunswere a foole accor∣ding to his foolishnesse, lest he be wise in his owne conceit. They are both Prouerbes of the wisest Master of Sentences: of whom also I haue learned, that to the horse belongeth a whipp; to the asse a snaffle; to the fooles backe a rod. Let noman be wiser then Salomon. The fooles-head must

not be suffred to coy itselfe: the colt must feele the whip, or the wande; the asse the snaffle, or the gode; the fooles backe the rod, or the cudgell. Let the colt, the Asse, the foole beware in time: or he may peraduenture feele them indeede: with such a Tuautem, as hath not often bene qua∣uered in any language. If Peace; or Treatie may not be heard, Warre shall commaunde Peace; and he musle the mouth of rankest Impudency, or fiercest hostility, that can do it; and do it otherwise, then is yet imagined: and yet nothing like that inspired Gentlewooman. Whose Penne is the shott of the musket, or rather a shaft of hea∣uen, swifter then any arrow, and mightier then any hand∣weapon, when Curtesie is repulsed, and hostility must en∣force amity: but otherwise how gratiously amiable, how diuinely sweet? Gentlemen, looke vpon the louely gli∣stering Starre of the morning; and looke for such an Oriē∣tall Starre, whē She displayeth the resplendishyng beames of her bright wit, and pure bounty. Meane-while, if some little shimering light appeare at a little creuise, I haue my request; and some pretty conuenient leysure, to take or∣der with an other kinde of Straunge Newes in Westmin∣ster Hall. It is some mens fortune to haue their handes full of vnneedefull businesse attonce: and for miselfe, I should make no great matter of two, or three such glow∣ing Irons in the fier, were it not some small griefe, or dis∣couragement, to consider, that nothing can be perfectly, or sufficiently performed by halues, or fragments. Which necessary interruption hath bene the vtter disgrace of the premisses; and a great hinderance to my larger Discourses, more ample trifles. I can but craue pardon; and prepare amendes, as leysure and occasion may aff•…•…urde opportu∣nity. Learned wittes can skilfully examine, and honest

mindes will vprightly consider Circumstances, with cur∣teous regarde of Fauour, or due respect of Reason: in whose onely Indifferency, as in a safe, and sweet har∣borough, I repose my whole affiance, and securitie, as heretofore. And so for this present I surcease to trou∣ble your gentle curtesies: of whose Patience I haue (ac∣cording to particular occasions) sometime vnmannerly, but modestly; often familiarly, but sincerely; most-what freely, but consideratly; alwayes confidently, but respe∣ctiuely; in euery part simply, in the whole tediously pre∣sumed vnder correction. I writ onely at idle howers, that I dedicate onely to Idle Howers: or would not haue made so vnreasonably bold, in no needefuller Discourse, then the Prayse, or Supererogation of an Asse.

This 27. of Aprill: 1593. Your mindefull debtour, G.H.

FINIS.

Notes

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