A Demaunder for glymmar. Cap. 16.
THese Demaunders for glymmar be for the most parte women, for glymmar in their language is fyer: these goe with fayned ly∣cences and counterfayted writings, hauing the hands and seales of suche Gentlemen as dwelleth neare to the place where they fayne themselues to haue bene burnt, and their goods consumed with fyre. They will most lamentably demaund your charity and wil quickly shed salt teares• they be so tender harted. They will neuer begge in that shyre where their losses (as they saye) was. Some of these goe with states at their backes, which is a sheete to lye in a nights. The vpright men be very familiar with these kinde of women, and one of them helpes another.
A Demaunder of glymmar came to a good towne in Kente, to aske the charitie of the people, hauing a fayned licēce about her that declared her misfortune by fyer done in Somershet shyre, walkinge with a wallet on her shoulders wherin she put the deuotion of such as hadde no money to gyue her, that is to say, malte, wooll, baken, bread and cheese: and alwayes as the same was full, so was it ready money to her when the emptyed the same, wher so euer shee traue∣led. This harlot was (as they terme it) snowt fayre, and hadde an vpright man or two alwayes attending on her watche (which is on her person) and yet so circumspect, that they would neuer be seene in her company in any good Towne, vnles it were in small villages, where typling houses where, eyther traueling togither by the high wayes, but the truth is by report) she would wéekely be worth vi. or seuen shillings with her begging and bychery. This glymmerynge Morte repayring to an Ine in the said town where dwelt a widow of fifty yeare old, of good wealth, but shee had an vnthrifty sonne, whom she vsed as a chamberlaine to attend gestes whē thei repaired Page [unnumbered] to her house, this amerous man beholding with ardant eyes: thys glymmering glauncer, was presently piteousely persed to the hart, and lewdly longed to be clothen vnder her liuery, and bestowing a fewe fonde wordes with her, vnderstood straight that she would be easely perswaded to liking lechery, and as a man mased, mused how to attayne to his purpose, for be hadde no money. Yet considering with him selfe that wares would bee welcome where money wan∣teth, he went with a wanion to his mothers chamber and there sée∣king about for odde endes, at length found a little wishell of siluer that his mother did vse customably to weare on, and had forgot the same for haste that morning, and offeres the same closely to this ma¦nerly marian, that if she would méete him on the backesyde of the town, and curteously kys him without constraint, she should be my∣stresse therof and it were much better: wel sayth she you are a wan∣ton, and beholding the wishell, was farther in loue therewith, then rauisht with his person, and agréed to méete him presently and to accomplish his fond fancy: to be short and not tedious, a quarter of a myle from the towne he merely toke measure of her vnder a baudy bush (so she gaue him that she had not, and he receyued that he could not) and taking leaue of ech other with a curteous kisse, she pleasant¦ly passed forth on her iorney, and this vntoward lecherous chamber¦layne repayred homeward. But or these twoo tortylles tooke their leaue, the good wyfe had missed her whishle, & sent one of her may∣dens into her chamber for the same, and being long sought for, none could be found, her mystres hearing that, diligent search was made for the same, and that it was taken a way, began to suspecte her vn∣blessed babe, and demaunded of her maydens whether none of them saw hir sonne in her chamber that morning, and one of them aun∣swered that she saw him not there but comming from thence, then had she ynough, for well she wist that he had the same, and sente for him, but he could not be found: then she caused her hosteler, in whō she had better affiance in for his trueth, and yet not one amongest twenty of them but haue well left their honesty (as I heare a greate sort say) to come vnto her, which attended to know her pleasure, goe séeke out saith she my vntoward sonne, and bid him come speake with me. I saw him goe out saith hee, halfe an houre sithens on the backsyde, I had thought you had sent him of your arrant. I sent him not quoth she, goe looke him out.
This hollow hosteler toke his staffe in his neck, and trudged out apace that way he saw him before go, and had some vnderstanding Page [unnumbered] by one of the maydens that his mistres had her wishell stolen & sus∣pected her sonne, and he had not gon far but that he espyed him com∣ming homeward alone, and meting him, asked where he had bene? where haue I ben q he, and began to smyle, now by the masse thou hast ben at some baudy banquet: thou haste euen tolde troth q this chamberlayne: surely q this hosteler, thou haddest the same woman that begged at our house to day, for the harmes she had by fire, wher is she q he? she is almost a myle by this tyme q this chamberlayne, where is my mistres whishel quoth this hosteler, for I am wel assu∣red that thou haddest it, & I feare me thou hast giuen it to that har∣lot. Why, is it missed quoth this chamberlayn? yea q this hosteler, and shewed him al the whole circumstance what was both said and thought on him for the thing. Well I wil tel thée quoth this cham∣berlayne, I will be playne with thée. I had in dede & haue giuen the same to this woman, and I pray thée make the beste of it, and helpe now to excuse the matter, and yet surely and thou wouldest take so much payne for me as to ouertake her, for she goeth but softly and is not yit farre of and take the same from her, & I am euer thyne assu∣red friend. Why then go with me quoth this hosteler, nay in fayth quoth this Chamberlayne what is frear then gift, and I had preaty pastime for the same: hade•t thou so quoth this hosteler? now by the masse and I will haue some to, or I will lye in the duste or I come a gain. Passing with hast to ouertake this paramoure within a myle frō y• place wher he departed he ouertoke hir hauing an vprightmā in her company a strong and a sturdy vacabond, somewhat amased was this hosteler to see one familiarly in hir company, for he had wel hoped to haue had some delicate daliaunce as his fellow hadde, but séeing the matter so fal out, and being of good corage, and thinking to him selfe that one true man was better then two false knaues, & being on the high way thought vpon helpe if nede had bene, by such as had passed to and fro: demaūded fiersely the whishel that she had euen now of his fellow: why husband quoth she, can you suffer this wretch to slaunder your wife? auaunt verlet quoth this vpright man and letes dryue withall his force at this hosteler, and after half a do∣sen blowes he stricks his staffe out of his hand, and as this hosteler stept backe to haue taken vp his staffe agayne: this glymmerynge Morte flinges a great stone at him and strake him on the head, that downe he fales with the bloud about his eares, and whyle hée laye thus amased, the vpright man snatches awaye his pursse, where in he hadde money of his mistresses, as well as of his owne, and there Page [unnumbered] let him lye and went away with spede, that they were neuer hearde of more. When this drye beaten hosteler was come to himselfe hée fayntly wandereth home, and créepeth into his couche and restes his ydell head: hys mystres heard that he was come in, and layd him downe on his bed, repayred straight vnto him, and asked him what be ayled, and what the cause was of his so sodden lyinge on his bed? what is the cause q this hostele, your whyshell, your wishell, spea∣king the same piteously thrée or foure tymes: why sole quoth his my∣stres, take no care for that for I do not greatly way it, it was worth but thrée shillings four pence. I would it had ben burnt for sour yee∣res agon. I pray thée why so quoth his mystres? I thinke thou arte mad. Nay not yet quoth this hostler, but I haue ben madly handled: why, what is the matter q his mystres, and was more desirous to know the case: and you will forgiue my fellow & mee. I will shewe you, or els I will neuer do it: she made him presently faythfull pro∣mise that she would, then sayth hée send for your sonne home again, which is ashamed to looke you in the face. I agree thereto sayth she, well then quoth this hosteler, your sonne hath geuen the same mort that begged here, for the burninge of her house, a whishell, and you haue giuen her fyue shillings in money, and I haue geuen her ten shillings of myn own: why so quoth shee, then he sadly shewed her of his mishap, with all the circumstance that you haue hearde be∣fore, and how his purse was taken away, and xv. shillinges in the same, whereof v. shillings was her money, and x shillings his owne money. Is this true quoth his mystres? I by my trouth quoth thys hosteler and nothing gréeues me so much, neyther my beatynge, neyther the losse of my money, as doth my euill & wretched lucke. Why, what is the matter quoth his mystres? your sonne sayth this hostler had some chere and pastime for that whishell, for he lay with her, and I haue ben well beaten and haue had my pursse taken from me, and you know your sonne is mery and pleasaunt and can kéepe no great councell, and then shall I be mocked & laoghed to skorn in all places, when they shall heare how I haue ben serued. Nowe out vpon you knaues both, quoth his mystres, and laughes out the mat∣ter, for she well sawe it would not otherwyse preuayle.