CHAP. II. Of Courtiers braules and quarrels, with the Harbingers for ill lodging.

After Lucullus the Ro∣mane his returne from Asia, in an O∣ration * hee made be∣fore the Senate, hee sayde thus: I sweare vnto you by the im∣mortall Gods (Fathers conscript) that in all this my iourney I felt no paine, nor trouble, neyther for the conduct and gouernement of mine army, nor for the rebellion of the people, nor for the absence of my friends, nor for the warre of the enemies, neyther for the long time, nor yet for the perill of my life: For all these things are incident to Souldiers and men of warre, and common to rulers in peace. But if you bee desirous to know what was my trouble, and that which grieued mee most, it was on the remembrance of the quiet rest I had at home: For as you know right well (Sacred Se∣nate) during the time as a man lod∣geth in other mens houses, hee is ne∣uer at liberty.

And this word of Lucullus me thin∣keth euery Courtier might well apply to himselfe, for that hee is alwayes bound to doe seruice to the Master of the house where hee lodgeth, yea although hee receyue a thousand in∣iuries of him: yet therefore it is not lawfull for him to anger or displease him in any thing: Therefore in very ill and vnlucky howre is the Courtier arriued, when he must take his iorney in stead of rest, trauell for quietnes, mi¦sery for aboundance, bondage for li∣berty, and paine for pleasure. And albeit Courtiers abide many paines and troubles, yet this mee thinketh is the greatest, and least tollerable, when they must be lodged: reasoning of the paines, displeasures, fortunes & mishaps that men suffer. Little is that my penne doth write herein, & much lesse that my tongue doth speake in comparison of that the wofull heart doth abide. O how many things are there, that are felt euen at the very bottome of the heart, and yet dare not the tongue once vtter them? Tru∣ly, how poor a house soeuer the cour∣tier hath in the Country, hee shoulde more esteeme it, then the best lodging that euer hee met with in Court; or else where. For at home he doth and commaundeth all that hee will: but in an other mans house, hee must take all that is giuen him.

A pilgrime or Traueller shal come into a City, where he shal see faire and goodly Churches, stately buildinges, rich gates, high wals, paued streetes, large market places, prouision inough aboundance of victuals, and numbers of strangers: and when hee hath seen all this, hee doth so little esteeme of them, that to returne againe to his poore home, hee trauelleth though it be all the night.

And therefore wee should not wonder at those, that doe not greatly * stray from their house, and that are but seldome in many places: but wee might well haue him in suspition, that continualy wandreth through strange Countries and houses: for notwith∣standing the great wonders he seeth: & the great conuersation of amity, hee hath, or can finde, yet in the ende they are only the eies that are fed with the sight of other things, and not the hart that is contented with his owne: and also to see in Princes Courtes great treasure and riches, bringes vs cōmonly more griefe then delight: & the more his eyes are fed with view of Page  593 faire dames of Courte, and princely pompe thereof, the greater sorrow as∣saulteth his heart, hee may not still en∣ioy the same, And therefore the re∣nowmed Focion, the Athenian captain, answered once certaine men, that said there were to bee solde in the Market∣place of Athens goodly stones, and rich iewells worthy the sight, howbeit hard to be bought, beeing helde at so hie a price by the Merchant that solde them. From my first youth (saide this philosopher) I made an Oath, neuer to goe see any Citie, vnlesse it were to con∣quer it, and yeeld it subiect to mee: nei∣ther to goe see Iewells, that I could not buye.

The great Emperour Traiane was much commended, for that he neuer tooke toye in his head, to goe see any thing, but for one of these 3. causes, that is to say: eyther to imitate that he saw, to buy it, or else clearely to con∣quer it. Oh worthy wordes of Focion and Traiane, and very meete to be no∣ted and retained.

Now to speake more particularly of the troubles daily heaped on their * necks that follow the Court, and that are to be lodged in diuers places, and strange houses. I say that if the poore courtyer doe depart at night from the Court, to repayre to his lodging, hee findeth oft times the host of his house and other his guests at home, already in theyr beds, and fast a sleepe: so that it happeneth sometimes he is faine to goe seeke his bed in another place, for that night. And also if he should rise early in the morning, to followe his matters: or to wayte vpon his Lord or Master, his Host perhappes and his housholde are not yet awake, nor styr∣ring to open him the doore.

And further, if his Hoste be angrie and displeased, and out of time: who shall let him to locke his doores, the day once shutte in? and who should compell him to open his dores before it be brode day?

Truely, it is a great hap to be well lodged about the Courte, and much more to meete with an honest Hoste. For it hapneth oft, that the great plea∣sure and contentation we receiue, be∣ing lodged in a faire Lodging is light∣ly taken from vs, by the harde intrea∣tie, and streight vsage of the Hoste of the same.

And in this is apparant, the vanity, fondnes, and lightnes of some Cour∣tyers, that rather desire, and seeke for a faire and pleasaunt lodging: then for a good and profitable.

The ambition of the Courtyer is now growne to so great a follie, that hee desireth rather a faire lodging for his pleasure, then a commodious or profitable for his familie. For admit * the Harbinger doe giue them a good and commodious lodging, if it be not sightly to the Eye, and stand commo∣diously, they can not like of it, by no meanes. So that to content them, the Fouriers must needs prouide them of a faire lodging to the eye, though lit∣tle handsome to lodge in: and yet sometimes they will hard and scant be pleased with that.

And if the Courtyer be of reputa∣tion, and beloued in Courte, I pray you what payne and trouble shall the poore Harbinger haue to content his minde, and to continue in his fauour? For, before master Courtyer will be resolued which of the 2. Lodgings he will take: the faire and most honora∣ble, or the meane and most profitable, he bleedeth at the nose for anger, and his heart beates and leaps a thousand times in his bodie. For, his person would haue the good and commodi∣ous Lodging: and his follie, the plea∣saunt and faire.

I neuer saw dead man complaine of his graue, nor Courtyer content with his Lodging. For, if they giue him a Hall, hee will say it wanteth a Page  594 chimney, if they giue him a cham∣ber, hee will say it lacketh an inner-Chamber: if they giue him a kitchen hee will say, it is too low and smoaky, and that it wanteth a larder, if they giue him a stable, that it wan∣teth a spence or storehouse, if they giue him the best and chiefest parts of the house, yet hee sayeth, he wanteth small and little houses of office, and if hee haue accesse to the well, he must also haue the commodity of the Base-Court.

And in fine, if they giue him a low paued Hall, to coole and refresh him in summer, hee will also haue a high borded Chamber for the winter, and possible hee shall not haue so many roomes at home in his owne house, as he will demaund in his lodging a∣broad. And therefore many thinges suffereth the Courtier in his owne house, that he will not beare with all in an Inne, or an other mans house. And it may bee also, that the Harbin∣gers haue prouided them of a fayre and goodly lodging, where hee shall commaund both master, stuffe, and al other things in the house: and yet the Courtier shall mislike of it, finding fault it is too farre from the Court, & reputeth it halfe a dishonour, and an impairer of his credit, to be lodged so farre off, since others that are beloued, and in fauour in Court in deede, lye hard adioyning to the Court, or at the least not farre of: For this is an olde sayde saying, The neerest lodged to the Court, commonly the best estee∣med of the Prince.

I haue seene many Courtiers of∣fer large gifts and rewards, to intreate the Harbingers to lodge them neere the Court: but I neuer saw any that desired to be lodged neere the church; and this commeth, for that they ra∣ther glory to be right Courtiers, then good Christians.

And therefore Blondus reciteth in his booke De declinatione Imperit, that a Grecian called Narsetes (a Captain of Iustinian the Great) was wont to say oft, That he neuer remembred he * went to the sea, nor entred into the Pallace, not beganne any battell, nor counselled of warres, nor mounted on horsebacke, but that first hee went to the Church and serued God.

And therefore by the doings and saying of Narsetes, wee may gather that euery good man ought rather to incline to bee a good Christian, then to giue himselfe to armes and chiual∣ry to be a right Courtier.

It hapneth many times, that after the Courtier bee come to his lod∣ging, hee liketh of it well, and is well pleased with all: but when hee hath beene in others lodgings, and hath looked vpon them, straight way hee falleth out of liking of his owne, and thinketh himselfe ill lodged to others. And this misliking groweth not of his ill lodging but of an inward malice and spite hee hath, to see his enemy preferred to a better then his owne: For such is the secret hate and enuy, in Princes Courts (a thing common to Courtiers) that they disdaine not onely to thanke the Harbingers for their care taken of them, in placing them in good lodgings: but they must also complaine and speake ill of them, for the good lodgings they haue giuē to their Aduersaries, and companions better then that of theirs.

There is also a foule disorder in Court among the Harbingers, in ap∣pointing lodgings: and little modesty besides in Courtiers in as king them: For such there are, that many times, neyther they, nor their parents haue any such lodgings at home in their owne houses, as they will demand on∣ly for their horsekeepers and seruants: But the great pain of the Court is yet, that such nouels as come newly to the Court, they say they are of great esti∣mation Page  595 in the Countrey, rich and of an ancient house, and his Father of great authority and estimation; and when the truth is knowne, his fathers authority, and first estimation was, of good labourers, and husbandmen, their onely rents and reuenues con∣sist, in that they gote by the dayly swet and labour of their persons, and their power and ability, in the rents of an other mans goods, and their liberty, in seruice and subiection of those that gaue them wages, and hired them by the day. And would to God their bloud were not tainted with some o∣ther notable blot.

There is a plague also in the Court which alwayes dureth, and neuer lea∣ueth * Court, & that is, that those that are alwayes least worth, and are of least calling, doe presume, and take vpon them most, and also are worst to please of all others.

And this they doe (their power being small) that they would supply, that in wordes & countenance, which they want in deeds and effects. Ilye if I saw not once in the country of A∣ragon, a Gentleman that hired a whole house, where himselfe and his family were very well lodged, and commo∣diously: & after that I remēbred, I met with him in Castilla, where he could not content himself with the charge of eight houses, besides his first hee was appointed to: and the occasion was, for that in Aragon hee payed for that house hee had, and for these he payed nothing: So that of an others purse, euery man coueteth to shew his mag∣nificence, and to declare his follies: but whē they defray their own charge they are as hard as flint, and goe as neere to worke as may be-

It is very true, that if there be any disorder and trouble to bee lodged in the Court, it commeth also for the most part of the Harbingers, without whom the Courtiers could neuer be well lodged, although the Prince had commaunded they should be lodged neere him. Albeit in the court a man may easily exempt himselfe from the Princes counsell, and iustice of the same, hauing no sutes there, and from the counsel and affayres of wars, being no captaine: From the Sinod * of the Spirituality, being no Ecclesia∣sticall person: and from that of the Indians, going to no Magitians, from the conuentions of Marchants, kee∣ping safely their Marchandise: and from the correction of the Lord high Marshall of the Court, not being foo∣lish and insolent: yet neuerthelesse, there is no Courtier (be hee neuer so high or great in fauour) that can a∣uoyde himselfe from the Harbingers authority, but hee must needs come vnder his lee, being in their power to dispose the lodgings as they thinke good: to lodge them honourably or meanely, to please or displease them, to lodge, or dislodge them. And if the Courtier happen at any time to quarrell, or fall out with them: I war∣rant him he shal be remembred of the Harbingers in his lodging, and possi∣bly a Horsekeeper (yea perhapps his enemy) shall bee better lodged then he, or else hee may seeke his lodging in the streets, where he will: For all other iniuries or offences in Courte, whatsoeuer, the Courtier may easilie redresse them by iustice, but for those he receiueth of the harbinger, he must take them quietly, and be contented with them: For otherwise we shoulde not only offend them, but iniure our selues, & make them prouide vs of no lodging: so hereby wee should vtterly be dislodged, & vnprouided. And ther¦fore they beare with many thinges in that office, which they would not doe in any other office: as for example: Those kind of officers must be much made of, of others well intreated, ac∣cōpanied, feasted, flattred, folowed, yea Page  596 many times serued and wayted vpon. I meane in seruing their turne, annointing their hands, and alwayes enriching their gloues with sompeece of gold or siluer: and alas the silly Courtier that hath not such soueraign ointment in his boxe, to cure these aboue recited sores, but onely to serue his owne turne: if hee be not * his kinsman, or neare allyed, let him yet at least get acquainted with him, and make him his friend: an easie thing to bring to passe, if hee doe not vexe him, nor giue him ouerthwart language, and sometimes he must in∣uite him to dinner and supper: For in the court there is no goodnes gotten, neyther by the King, by the beloued, by the noble men, by the honourable of his Councell, Treasurers, nor yet by the Harbingers, but in suffering them, and doing them alwaies good and acceptable seruice. And if per∣chance the Harbingers wrong you, and doe you displeasure, or that they should say, you were troublesome and importunate: yet be you wise for to beare with them in any case, & seeme not to heare them: For what loseth the Courtier, if hee beare now and∣then with a few crooked words at the Harbingers hands? marry by for∣forbearing them, he happily commeth to be lodged the better.

Suppose the Courtier bee not al∣wayes lodged to his mind and desire, should he immediately complaine of them, or murmur at them? no sure, he he should but so doing shew himselfe of small education. For what skilleth it, though among many poundes of good meate, the Butcher sometimes mingle a morsell of liuer, lungs, or lights of the Beast. And therefore a man should not blame the poore Harbingers so much as they doe: for they are not commanded of the King to build new lodgings, but such as they are, to diuide them among the traine of his Court: So that they do lodge Courtiers in such as they finde, and not in those they would, adding thereto, that they haue regarde vnto their estates and demerits, and not to the affections and willes of the per∣sons they lodge. For it were more reason they should appoint the grea∣test and best lodgings, to the noblest pesonages, & eldest seruants of Court, then to the late and new come Cour∣tier, whose youth can better away * with an ill nights lodging, then the gray hayres of the old Courtier. O∣therwise, the seruice of the olde Cour∣tier that hath spent his young yeeres in Princes Courts (to the great paine and trouble of their persons) and in his seruice, should for guerdon bee payde with ingratitude, if hee should not be preferred to the best commo∣dious lodging for his ease, and also the first to be aduanced by the Prince before the young Seruiture.

Now if it be honest and reasona∣ble, that the Harbinger haue greate consideration to the merites of him that hee lodgeth: Euen so it is fitte, the Courtier should weigh the presse of the Court, and incommodious place, where the Harbingers are con∣strained to lodge them: knowing that to day the Court remoueth to such a place where there are happily sixe thousand houses, and to morrow per∣haps there are not a thousand, there∣fore if in such a place hee find but nar∣row Fustian to make him a doublet: let him take patience till such time as they remoue to another place, where they shall finde broad cloath inough to make them large clokes.