The repentance of Robert Greene Maister of Artes. Wherein by himselfe is laid open his loose life, with the manner of his death

The Repentance of Robert Greene, Maister of Arts.

AS there is no steele so stiffe, but the stamp will pierce; no flint so harde, but the drops of raine will hollowe: so there is no heart so voide of grace, or giuen ouer to wilfull follie, but the mercifull fauour of God can mollifie. An instance of the like chaunced to my selfe, being a man wholy addicted to all gracelesse indeuors, giuen from my youth to wantonnes, brought vp in riot who as I grew in yeares, so I waxed more ripe in vn∣godlines, that I was the mirrour of mischiefe, and the very patterne of all preiudiciall actions: for I neither had care to take any good course of life, nor yet to listen to the friendly perswasions of my parents. I seemed as one of no religion, but rather as a meere Atheist, con∣temning the holy precepts vttered by any learned prea∣ther: I would smile at such as would frequent the Church, or such place of godly exercise, & would scoffe at any that would checke mee with any wholesome or

good admonition: so that herein I seemed a meere re∣probate, the child of Sathan, one wipt out of the booke of life, and as an outcast from the face and fauor of God, I was giuen ouer to drunkennes, so that I lightly ac∣counted of that company that would not intertaine my inordinate quaffing. And to this beastly sinne of glutto∣tonie, I added that detestable vice of swearing, taking a felicitie in blaspeming & prophaning the name of God, confirming nothing idlely but with such solemne oths, that it amazed euen my companions to heare mee. And that I might seeme to heape one sinne vpon another, I was so rooted therein, that whatsoeuer I got, I stil con∣sumed the same in drunkennes.

Liuing thus a long time, God (who suffereth sinners to heape coles of fire vpon their owne heads, and to bee fed fat with sinne against the day of vengeance) suffered me to go forward in my loose life: many warninges I had to draw me from my detestable kind of life, and di∣uers crosses to contrary my actions: but all in vaine, for though I were sundry times afflicted with many foule and greeuous diseases, and thereby scourged with the rod of Gods wrath, yet when by the great labor & frend∣ship of sundry honest persons, they had (though to their great charges) sought & procured my recouery, I did with the Dog Redire in vomitum, I went again with the Sow to wallow in the mire, and fell to my former follies as frankly, as if I had not tasted any iot of want, or neuer been scourged for them. Consuetudo peccan∣di tollit sensum peccati; my daily custome in sinne had cleane taken away the feeling of my sinne: for I was so giuen to these vices aforesaide, that I counted them rather veniall scapes & faults of nature, than any great

and greeuous offences: neither did I care for death, but held it onely as the end of life. For comming one day in∣to Aldersgate street to a welwillers house of mine, hee with other of his friendes perswaded mee to leaue my bad course of life, which at length would bring mee to vtter destruction, whereupon I scoffingly made them this answer. Tush, what better is he that dies in his bed than he that endes his life at Tyburne, all owe God a death: if I may haue my desire while I liue, I am satis∣fied, let me shift after death as I may. My friends hea∣ring these words, greatly greeued at my gracelesse re∣solution, made this reply: If you feare not death in this world, nor the paines of the body in this life, yet doubt the second death, & the losse of your soule, which with∣out hearty repentance must rest in hell fire for euer and euer.

Hell (quoth I) what talke you of hell to me: I know if I once come there, I shal haue the company of better men than my selfe, I shal also meete with some madde knaues in that place, & so long as I shall not sit there a∣lone, my care is the lesse. But you are mad folks (quoth I) for if I feared the Iudges of the bench no more than I dread the iudgements of God, I would before I slept diue into one Carles bagges or other, and make merrie with the shelles I found in them so long as they would last. And though some in this company were Fryers of mine owne fraternitie to whom I spake the wordes: yet were they so amazed at my prophane speeches, that they wisht themselues foorth of my company. Whereby appeareth, that my continuall delight was in sinne, and that I made my selfe drunke with the dregges of mis∣chiefe. But beeing departed thence vnto my lodging,

and now grown to the full, I was checked by the migh∣tie hand of God: for Sicknes (the messenger of death) attached me, and tolde me my time was but short, and that I had not long to liue: whereupon I was vexed in mind, and grew very heauy. As thus I sate solempu∣ly thinking of my end, and feeling my selfe waxe sicker and sicker, I fell into a great passion, and was wonder∣fully perplexed, yet no way discouered my agony, but sate still calling to mind the lewdnes of my former life: at what time sodainly taking the booke of Resolution in my hand, I light vpon a chapter therein, which dis∣couered vnto mee the miserable state of the reprobate, what Hell was, what the worme of Conscience was, what tormentes there was appointed for the damned soules, what vnspeakable miseries, what vnquenchable flames, what intollerable agonies, what incomprehen∣sible griefs; that there was nothing but feare, horrour, veration of mind, depriuation from the sight and fauour of God, weeping and gnashing of teeth, and that al those tortures were not termined or dated within any com∣passe of yeares, but euerlasting world without end; con∣cluding all in this of the Psalmes: Ab inferis nulla est redemptio.

After that I had with deepe consideration pondered vpon these points, such a terrour stroke into my consci∣ence, that for very anguish of minde my teeth did beate in my head, my lookes waxed pale and wan, and fetch∣ing a great sigh, I cried vnto God, and said: If all this be true, oh what shall become of me: If the rewarde of sinne be death and hell, how many deaths and hels do I deserue, that haue beene a most miserable sinner? If damnation be the meed for wickednes, then am I dam∣ned?

for in all the world there neuer liued a man of wor∣ser life. Oh what shall I doe? I cannot call to God for mercie; for my faultes are beyond the compasse of his fauour: the punishment of the body hath an ende by death, but the paines of the soule by death are made e∣uerlasting. Then what a miserable case am I in if I die? yet if my death might redeeme my offences, & wash away my sinnes, oh might I suffer euery day twentie deathes while seuen yeares lasteth, it were nothing: but when I shall end a contempt to the world, I shal enioy the disdaine of men, the displeasure of God, & my soule (that immortall creature) shall euerlastingly bee dam∣ned: Oh woe is mee, why doe I liue? nay rather why was I borne? Cursed be the day wherein I was born, and haplesse be the brests that gaue me sucke. Why did God create me to bee a vessell of wrath? Why did hee breath life into me, thus to make me a lost sheepe? Oh I feele a hell already in my conscience, the number of my sinnes do muster before my eies, the poore mens plaints that I haue wronged, cries out in mine eares and saith, Robin Greene thou art damnd; nay, the iustice of God tels mee I cannot bee saued. Now I do remember (though too late) that I haue read in the Scriptures, how neither adulterers, swearers, theeues, nor murde∣rers shall inherite the kingdome of heauen. What hope then can I haue of any grace, when (giuen ouer from all grace) I exceeded all other in these kinde of sinnes? If thus vppon earth and aliue I feele a hell, oh what a thing is that hell, where my soule shall euerlastingly liue in torments. I am taught by the scripture to pray; but to whom shoulde I pray? to him that I haue blas∣phemed, to him that I haue contemned and despised,

whose name I haue taken in vaine? No, no, I am in a hell. Oh that my last gaspe were come, that I might be with Iudas or Cain, for their place is better than mine; or that I might haue power with these hands to vnlose my soule from this wretched carcasse, that hath impri∣soned so many wicked villainies within it. Oh I haue sinned, not against the Father, nor against the Sonne, but against the holy Ghost: for I presumed vpon grace, and when the spirit of God cried in my mind & thoght, and said, drunkennes is a vice, whoredome is a vice; I carelesly (in contempt) resisted this motion, and as it were in a brauery, committed these sinnes with greedi∣nes. Oh now I shall crie with Diues to haue one drop of water for my tongue, but shall not be heard: I haue sinned against my owne soule, and therefore shalbe cast into vtter darknesse: and further I shall not come till I haue paid the vttermost farthing, which I shal neuer be able to satisfie. O happy are you that feele the sparks of Gods fauour in your hearts, happy are you that haue hope in the passion of Christ, happy are you that beleue that God died for you, happy are you that can pray. Oh why doth not God shew the like mercie vnto mee? The reason is, because in all my life I neuer did any good. I alwaies gloried in sinne, and despised them that imbra∣ced vertue. God is iust, and cannot pardon my offences; and therefore I would I were out of this earthly hell, so I were in that second hell, that my soule might suf∣fer tormentes: for now I am vexed both in soule and bodie.

In this despairing humor, searching further into the said Booke of Resolution, I found a place that greatly did comfort mee, & laid before me the promises of Gods

mercie, shewing mee that although the Iustice of God was great to punish sinners, yet his mercie did exceede his works: and though my faults were as red as skar∣let, yet washt with his bloud, they shoulde bee made as white as snow: therein was laid before mine eyes, that Dauid (who was called a man after his owne heart) did both commit adultery, and sealde it with murther: yet when hee did repent, God heard him, and admited him to his fauour. Therin was laid before me the obsti∣nate sinne of Peter, that not onely denied his Maister Christ, but also forswore himselfe: yet so soone as hee shed tears, and did hartily repent him, his offences were pardoned. Therein was laid open the theefe that had li∣ued licentiously, and had scarse in all his life done one good deed, and yet hee was saued by hope in the mercies of God. Therein was also laide open how the seueri∣tie of the Law was mittigated with the sweet and com∣fortable promises of the Gospell, insomuch that I be∣gan to be somewhat pacified, & a little quieted in mind, taking great ioy and comfort in the pithie perswasions and promises of Gods mercie alleadged in that Booke. And yet I was not presently resolued in my conscience, that God would deale so fauorably with me, for that stil the multitude of my sinnes presented me with his Iu∣stice: and would therefore reason thus with my selfe. Why, those men (before mentioned) were elected and predestinated to be chosen vessels of Gods glory, & ther∣fore though they did fal, yet they rose againe, & did shew it in time, with some other fruits of their election. But contrariwise, I (the most wicked of all men) was euen brought vp from my swadling clouts in wickednes, my infancy was sin, & my riper age increast in wickednes; I

tooke no pleasure but in ill, neither was my minde sette vpon any thing but vpon the spoyle: then seeing all my life was lead in lewdnes, and I neuer but once felt any remorse of conscience, how can God pardon mee, that repent rather for feare than for loue? Yet calling vnto mind the words of Esay, that at what time soeuer a sin∣ner doth repent him from the bottome of his heart, the Lord would wipe away all his wickednes out of his re∣membrance.

Thus beeing at a battaile betweene the spirite and the flesh, I beggane to feele a greater comfort in my mind, so that I did teares confesse and acknowledge, that although I was a most miserable sinner, yet the anguish that Christ suffered on the Crosse, was able to purge and cleanse me from all my offences: so that ta∣king hold with faith vpon the promises of the Gospell, I waxed strong in spirite, and became able to resist and withstand all the desperate attempts that Sathan had giuen before to my weake and feéble conscience. When thus I had consideratly thought on the wretchednes of my life, and therewithall looked into the vncertainty of death, I thought good to write a short discourse of my the same, which I haue ioyned to this treatise, containing as followeth.