The blacke bookes messenger Laying open the life and death of Ned Browne one of the most notable cutpurses, crosbiters, and conny-catchers, that euer liued in England. Heerein hee telleth verie pleasantly in his owne person such strange prancks and monstrous villanies by him and his consorte performed, as the like was yet neuer heard of in any of the former bookes of conny-catching. By R.G.

A merry Ieast how Ned Brownes wife was crosse∣bitten in her owne Arte.

BUt heere note (Gentlemen) though I haue done many sleights, and crossbitten sundry persons: yet so long goes the pitcher to the water, that at length it comes broken home. Which prouerbe I haue séene ve∣rified: for I remember once that I supposing to cros∣bite a Gentleman who had some ten pound in his sleéue left my wife to performe the accident, who in the ende was crossebitten her selfe: and thus it fel out. She com∣pacted with a Hooker, whom some call a Curber, & ha∣uing before bargained with the Gentleman to tell her tales in her eare all night, hee came according to pro∣mise, who hauing supt and going to bed, was aduised by my wife to lay his clothes in the window, where the Hookers Crome might crossbite them from him: yet se∣cretly intending before in the night time to steale his money forth of his sléeue. They beeing in bed together slept soundly: yet such was his chaunce, that he soden∣ly wakened long before her, & being sore troubled with a laske, rose vp and made a double vse of his Chamber pot: that done, he intended to throw it forth at the win∣dow, which the better to performe, he first remoued his clothes from thence; at which instant the spring of the window rose vp of the owne accord. This sodaiuly a∣mazed him so, that he leapt backe, leaning the chamber pot still standing in the window, fearing that the deuill had béen at hand. By & by he espyed a faire iron Crome come marching in at the window, which in steade of the dublet and hose he sought for, sodenly tooke hold of that homely seruice in the member vessell, and so pluckt goodman Iurdaine with all his contents downe pat on

the Curbers pate. Neuer was gentle Angl••r so drest, for his face, his head, and his necke, were all besmeared with the soft ••••rreuerence, so as hee stunke worse than a ••akes Farmer. The Gentleman hearing one cry out, and séeing his messe of altogether so strangely taken a∣way, began to take hart to him, and looking out percei∣ued the Curber lye almost brained, almost drowned, & well neare poysoned therewith: where at laughing har∣tily to himselfe, hee put on his owne clothes, and gotte him secretly away, laying my wiues clothes in the same place, which the gentle Angler soone after tooke: but neuer could she get them againe till this day.

This (Gentlemen) was my course of life, and thus I got much by villany, and spent it amongst whores as carelessely: I sildome or neuer listened to the admoni∣tion of my fréendes, neither did the fall of other men learne me to beware, and therefore am I brought now to this end: yet little did I think to haue laid my bones in Fraunce, I thought (indéed) that Tyburne would at last haue shakt me by the necke: but hauing done villa∣ny in England, this was alwaies my course, to slip o∣uer into the Low Countries, and there for a while play the souldiour, and partly that was the cause of my com∣ming hither: for growing odious in and about Lon∣don for my filching, lifting, nipping, foysting and cros∣biting, that euery one held me in contempt, and almost disdained my companie, I resolued to come ouer into Fraunce, by bearing Armes to winne some credite, de∣termining with my selfe to become a true man. ••ut as men, though they chaunge Countries, alter not their minds: so giuen ouer by God into a reprobate sence, I had no féeling of goodnes, but with the dogge fell to my

elde vomit, and héere most wickedly I haue committed sacrilege, robd a Church, and done other mischéeuous pranks, for which iustly I am condemned and must suf∣fer death: whereby I learne, that reuenge deferd is not quittanst: that though God suffer the wicked for a time, yet hee paies home at length; for while I lasciuiously lead a carelesse life, if my friendes warned mée of it, I scoft at them, & if they told me of the gallowes, I would sweare it was my destenie, and now I haue proued my selfe no lyar: yet must I die more basely, and bée hangd out at a window.

Oh Countrymen and Gentlemen, I haue helde you long, as good at the first as at the last, take then this for a farewell: Trust not in your owne wits, for they will become too wilfull oft, and so deceiue you. Boast not in strength, nor stand not on your manhood, so to maintain quarrels; for the end of brawling is confusion: but vse your courage indefence of your country, and then feare not to die; for the bullet is an honorable death. Beware of whores, for they be the Syrens that draw men on to destruction, their swéet words are inchantments, their eyes allure, and their beauties bewitch: Oh take héede of their perswasions, for they be Crocodiles, that when they wéepe, destroy. Truth is honorable, and better is it to be a poore honest man, than a rich & wealthy théefe: for the fairest end is the gallowes, and what a shame is it to a mans fréends, when hee dies so basely. Scorne not labour (Gentlemen) nor hold not any course of life bad or seruile, that is profitable and honest, least in gi∣uing your selues ouer to idlenesse, and hauing no yéer∣ly maintenance, you fall into many preiudiciall mis∣chiefs Contemne not the vertuous counsaile of a frend,

despise not the hearing of Gods Ministers, scoffe not at the Magistrates, but feare God, honor your Prince, and loue your country, then God will blesse you, as I hope he will do me for all my manifolde offences, and so Lord into thy hands I commit my spirit, and with that he himselfe sprung out at the window and died.

Hereby the way you shall vnderstand, that going o∣uer into Fraunce, he neare vnte Arx robd a Church, & was therefore condemned, and hauing no gallowes by, they hangd him out at a window, fastning the roape a∣bout the Bar: and thus this Ned Browne died mise∣rably, that all his life time had béene full of mischiefe & villany, sleightly at his death regarding the state of his soule. But note a wonderfull iudgement of God shew∣ed vppon him after his death: his body béeing taken down, & buried without the towne, it is verified, that in the night time there came a company of Wolues, and torehim out of his graue, and eate him vp, where as there lay many souldiers buried, & many dead carcas∣ses, that they might haue prayde on to haue filled their hungry paunches. But the iudgments of God as they are iust, so they are inscrutable: yet thus much we may coniecture, that as he was one that delighted in rapine and stealth in his life, so at his death the rauenous Wolues deuoured him, & pluckt him out of his graue, as a man not worthy to be admitted to the honor of any buryall Thus haue I set downe the life and death of Ned Browne, a famous Cutpurse and Conny∣catcher, by whose example if any be profi∣ted, I haue the desired ende of my labour.