The vicar of Wakefield: a tale. Supposed to be written by himself. ... [pt.1]
Goldsmith, Oliver, 1730?-1774.
Page  [unnumbered]


The description of the family of Wake|field; in which a kindred likeness pre|vails as well of minds as of persons.

_I WAS ever of opinion, that the honest man who married and brought up a large family, did more service than he who continued sin|gle, and only talked of population. From this motive, I had scarce taken orders a year before I began to think seriously of matri|mony, chose my wife as she did her wed|ding gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well. To do her justice, she was a good-natured no|table woman; and as for breeding, there were few country ladies who at that time could shew more. She could read any English book without much spelling, and for pickling, preserving, and cookery, Page  2 none could excel her. She prided her|self much also upon being an excellent contriver in house-keeping; yet I could never find that we grew richer with all her contrivances.

However, we loved each other tenderly, and our fondness encreased with age. There was in fact nothing that could make us angry with the world or each other. We had an elegant house, situated in a fine country, and a good neighbourhood. The year was spent in moral or rural amuse|ments; in visiting our rich neighbours, or relieving such as were poor. We had no revolutions to fear, nor fatigues to un|dergo; all our adventures were by the fire-side, and all our migrations from the blue bed to the brown.

As we lived near the road, we often had the traveller or stranger come to taste our gooseberry wine, for which we had great reputation; and I profess with the veracity of an historian, that I never knew one of them find fault with it. Our cou|sins Page  3 too, even to the fortieth remove, all remembered their affinity, without any help from the Herald's office, and came very frequently to see us. Some of them did us no great honour by these claims of kindred; for literally speaking, we had the blind, the maimed, and the halt amongst the number. However, my wife always insisted that as they were the same flesh and blood with us, they should sit with us at the same table. So that if we had not very rich, we generally had very happy friends about us; for this remark will hold good thro' life, that the poorer the guest, the better pleased he ever is with being treated: and as some men gaze with admiration at the colours of a tulip, and others are smit|ten with the wing of a butterfly, so I was by nature an admirer of happy human faces. However, when any one of our re|lations was found to be a person of very bad character, a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house for the first time, I ever took care to lend him a riding coat, or a pair of Page  4 boots, or sometimes an horse of small va|lue, and I always had the satisfaction of finding he never came back to return them. By this the house was cleared of such as we did not like; but never was the family of Wakefield known to turn the traveller or the poor dependant out of doors.

Thus we lived several years in a state of much happiness, not but that we some|times had those little rubs which Providence sends to enhance the value of its other favours. My orchard was often robbed by school-boys, and my wife's custards plun|dered by the cats or the children. The 'Squire would sometimes fall asleep in the most pathetic parts of my sermon, or his lady return my wife's civilities at church with a mutilated curtesy. But we soon got over the uneasiness caused by such accidents, and usually in three or four days we be|gan to wonder how they vext us.

My children, the offspring of tempe|rance, as they were educated without soft|ness, Page  5 so they were at once well formed and healthy; my sons hardy and active, my daughters dutiful and blooming. When I stood in the midst of the little circle, which promised to be the supports of my declining age, I could not avoid repeating the famous story of Count Abensberg, who, in Henry II's progress through Ger|many, when other courtiers came with their treasures, brought his thirty-two children, and presented them to his sovereign as the most valuable offering he had to bestow. In this manner, though I had but six, I con|sidered them as a very valuable present made to my country, and consequently looked upon it as my debtor. Our eldest son was named George, after his uncle, who left us ten thousand pounds. Our second child, a girl, I intended to call after her aunt Grissel; but my wife, who during her pregnancy had been reading romances, in|sisted upon her being called Olivia. In less than another year we had a daughter again, and now I was determined that Gris|sel should be her name; but a rich relation Page  6 taking a fancy to stand godmother, the girl was, by her directions, called Sophia; so that we had two romantic names in the family; but I solemnly protest I had no hand in it. Moses was our next, and after an interval of twelve years, we had two sons more.

It would be fruitless to deny my exulta|tion when I saw my little ones about me; but the vanity and the satisfaction of my wife were even greater than mine. When our visitors would usually say,

"Well, upon my word, Mrs. Primrose, you have the finest children in the whole country."
"Ay, neighbour,"
she would answer,
"they are as heaven made them, handsome enough, if they be good enough; for handsome is that handsome does."
And then she would bid the girls hold up their heads; who, to con|ceal nothing, were certainly very hand|some. Mere outside is so very trifling a cir|cumstance with me, that I should scarce have remembered to mention it, had it not Page  7 been a general topic of conversation in the country. Olivia, now about eighteen, had that luxuriancy of beauty with which pain|ters generally draw Hebe; open, sprightly, and commanding. Sophia's features were not so striking at first; but often did more certain execution; for they were soft, mo|dest, and alluring. The one vanquished by a single blow, the other by efforts successfully repeated.

The temper of a woman is generally formed from the turn of her features, at least it was so with my daughters. Olivia wished for many lovers, Sophia to secure one. Olivia was often affected from too great a desire to please. Sophia even re|prest excellence from her fears to offend. The one entertained me with her vivacity when I was gay, the other with her sense when I was serious. But these qualities were never carried to excess in either, and I have often seen them exchange charac|ters for a whole day together. A suit of mourning has transformed my coquet into Page  8 a prude, and a new set of ribbands given her younger sister more than natural viva|city. My eldest son George was bred at Oxford, as I intended him for one of the learned professions. My second boy Moses, whom I designed for business, received a sort of a miscellaneous education at home. But it would be needless to attempt de|scribing the particular characters of young people that had seen but very little of the world. In short, a family likeness pre|vailed through all, and properly speaking, they had but one character, that of being all equally generous, credulous, simple, and inoffensive.