The lucubrations of Isaac Bickerstaff Esq: revised and corrected by the author. ... [pt.1]

The TATLER. [N^o 25.

From Saturday June 4. to Tuesd. June 7. 1709.

White's Chocolate house, June 6.

A Letter from a young Lady, written in the most passionate Terms, wherein she laments the Misfortune of a Gentleman, her Lover, who was lately wounded in a Duel, has turned my Thoughts to that Subject, and enclined me to examine into the Causes which precipitate Men into so fatal a Folly. And as it has been propo∣sed to treat of Subjects of Gallantry in the Arti∣cle from hence, and no one Point in Nature is more proper to be consider'd by the Company who frequent this Place than that of Duels, it is worth our Consideration to examine into this Chimaerical groundless Humour, and to lay every other Thought aside, till we have strip'd it of all its false Pretences to Credit and Reputation amongst Men.

But I must confess, when I consider what I am going about, and run over in my Imagination all the endless Crowd of Men of Honour who will be offended at such a Discourse; I am underta∣king, methinks, a Work worthy an invulnerable Hero in Romance, rather than a private Gentle∣man with a single Rapier: But as I am pretty well acquainted by great Opportunities with the Nature of Man, and know of a Truth, that all Men fight against their Will, the Danger vanishes, and Resolution rises upon this Subject. For this Reason I shall talk very freely on a Custom which all Men wish exploded, though no Man has Courage enough to resist it.

But there is one unintelligible Word which I fear will extremely perplex my Dissertation; and

I confess to you I find very hard to explain, which is, the Term Satisfaction. An honest Country Gentleman had the Misfortune to fall into Com∣pany with Two or Three modern Men of Honour, where he happened to be very ill treated; and one of the Company being conscious of his Of∣fence, sends a Note to him in the Morning, and tells him, He was ready to give him Satisfaction. This is fine Doing (says the plain Fellow). Last Night he sent me away cursedly out of Humour, and this Morning he fancies it would be a Satis∣faction to be run through the Body.

As the Matter at present stands, it is not to do handsome Actions denominates a Man of Honour; it is enough if he dares to defend ill Ones. Thus you often see a common Sharper in Competition with a Gentleman of the first Rank; though all Mankind is convinced, that a fighting Gamester is only a Pick-pocket with the Courage of an Highway-Man. One cannot with any Patience reflect on the unaccountable Jumble of Persons and Things in this Town and Nation, which oc∣casions very frequently, that a brave Man falls by a Hand below that of the common Hangman, and yet his Executioner escapes the Clutches of the Hangman for doing it. I shall therefore here∣after consider, how the bravest Men in other Ages and Nations have behaved themselves upon such Incidents as we decide by Combat; and show, from their Practice, that this Resentment neither has its Foundation from true Reason, or solid Fame; but is an Imposture, made up of Cowar∣dice, Falshood, and Want of Understanding. For this Work, a good History of Quarrels would be very edifying to the Publick, and I apply my self to the Town for Particulars and Circum∣stances within their Knowledge, which may serve to embellish the Dissertation with proper Cuts. Most of the Quarrels I have ever known,

have proceeded from some valiant Coxcomb's per∣sisting in the Wrong, to defend some prevailing Folly, and preserve himself from the Ingenuity of owning a Mistake.

By this Means it is called, Giving a Man Satis∣faction, to urge your Offence against him with your Sword; which puts me in Mind of Peter's Order to the Keeper, in The Tale of a Tub: If you neglect to do all this, damn you and your Gene∣ration for ever; and so we bid you heartily fare∣wel. If the Contradiction in the very Terms of one of our Challenges were as well explained, and turn'd into downright English, would it not run after this Manner?

SIR,

YOur extraordinary Behaviour last Night, and the Liberty you were pleased to take with me, makes me this Morning give you this, to tell you, because you are an ill-bred Puppy, I will meet you in Hide-Park an Hour hence; and because you want both Breeding and Hu∣manity, I desire you would come with a Pistol in your Hand, on Horseback, and endeavour to shoot me through the Head; to teach you more Manners. If you fail of doing me this Pleasure, I shall say, You are a Rascal on every Post in Town: And so, Sir, if you will not injure me more, I shall never forgive what you have done already. Pray Sir, do not fail of getting every Thing ready, and you will infinitely oblige,

SIR,

Your most Obedient, Humble Servant, &c.

From my own Apartment, June 6.

Among the many Employments I am necessa∣rily put upon by my Friends, that of giving Ad∣vice

is the most unwelcome to me; and indeed, I am forced to use a little Art in the Matter; for some People will ask Counsel of you, when they have already acted what they tell you is still un∣der Deliberation. I had almost lost a very good Friend t'other Day, who came to know how I liked his Design to marry such a Lady. I an∣swered, By no Means; and I must be positive a∣gainst it, for very solid Reasous, which are not proper to communicate. Not proper to commu∣nicate! (said he with a grave Air) I will know the Bottom of this. I saw him moved, and knew from thence he was already determined; there∣fore evaded it by saying, To tell you the Truth, dear Frank, Of all Women living, I would have her my self. Isaac, said he, Thou art too late, for we have been both one these two Months.

I learned this Caution by a Gentleman's con∣sulting me formerly about his Son. He railed at his damn'd Extravagance, and told me, In a very little Time, he would beggar him by the exor∣bitant Bills which came from Oxford every Quar∣ter. Make the Rogue bite upon the Bridle, said I, pay none of his Bills, it will but encourage him to further Trespasses. He look'd plaguy sowr at me. His Son soon after sent up a Paper of Verses, forsooth, in Print, on the last publick Occasion; upon which, he is convinced the Boy has Parts, and a Lad of Spirit is not to be too much cramp'd in his Maintenance, lest he take ill Courses. Nei∣ther Father nor Son can ever since endure the Sight of me.

These Sort of People ask Opinions, only out of the Fulness of their Heart on the Subject of their Perplexity, and not from a Desire of Infor∣mation.

There is nothing so easy as to find out which Opinion the Person in Doubt has a Mind to; therefore the sure Way is to tell him, that is cer∣tainly

to be chosen. Then you are to be very clear and positive; leave no Handle for Scruple. Bless me! Sir, there's no Room for a Question. This rivets you into his Heart; for you at once applaud his Wisdom, and gratify his Inclination. However, I had too much Bowels to be insincere to a Man who came Yesterday to know of me, With which of two eminent Men in the City he should place his Son? Their Names are Paulo and Avaro. This gave me much Debate with my self, because not only the Fortune of the Youth, but his Virtue also, depended upon this Choice. The Men are equally wealthy; but they differ in the Use and Application of their Riches, which you immediately see upon entring their Doors.

The Habitation of Paulo has at once the Air of a Nobleman and a Merchant. You see the Servants act with Affection to their Master, and Satisfaction in themselves: The Master meets you with an open Countenance, full of Benevo∣lence and Integrity: Your Business is dispatched with that Confidence and Welcome which al∣ways accompanies honest Minds: His Table is the Image of Plenty and Generosity, supported by Justice and Frugality. After we had dined here, our Affair was to visit Avaro: Out comes an aukward Fellow with a careful Countenance; Sir, Would you speak with my Master? May I crave your Name? After the first Preambles, he leads us into a noble Solitude, a great House that seem'd uninhabited; but from the End of the spacious Hall moves towards us Avaro, with a suspicious Aspect, as if he believed us Thieves; and as for my Part, I approached him as if I knew him a Cut-purse. We fell into Discourse of his noble Dwelling, and the Great Estate all the World knew he had to enjoy in it: And I, to plague him, fell a commending Paulo's Way

of Living. Paulo, answered Avaro, is a very good Man; but we who have smaller Estates, must cut our Coat according to our Cloth. Nay, says I, Every Man knows his own Circumstance best; you are in the Right, if you han't where∣withal. He look'd very sowr; (for it is, you must know, the utmost Vanity of a mean∣spi∣rited rich Man to be contradicted, when he calls himself Poor.) But I was resolved to vex him, by consenting to all he said; the main Design of which was, that he would have us find out, he was one of the wealthiest Men in London, and lived like a Beggar. We left him, and took a Turn on the Change. My Friend was ravished with Avaro: This (said he) is cer∣tainly a sure Man. I contradicted him with much Warmth, and summed up their different Characters as well as I could. This Paulo (said I) grows wealthy by being a common Good; Avaro, by being a general Evil: Paulo has the Art, Avaro the Craft of Trade. When Paulo gains, all Men he deals with are the better: Whenever Avaro profits, another certainly loses. In a Word, Paulo is a Citizen, and Avaro a Cit. I convinced my Friend, and carried the young Gentleman the next Day to Paulo, where he will learn the Way both to gain, and enjoy a good Fortune. And tho' I cannot say, I have, by keep∣ing him from Avaro, saved him from the Gal∣lows, I have prevented his deserving it every Day he lives: For with Paulo he will be an honest Man, without being so for Fear of the Law; as with Avaro, he would have been a Villain with∣in the Protection of it.

St. James's Coffee-house, June 6.

We hear from Vienna of the 1st Instant, That Baron Imoff, who attended her Catholick Ma∣jesty with the Character of Envoy from the

Duke of Wolfembuttel, was returned thither. That Minister brought an Account, That Major-General Stanhope, with the Troops which em∣barked at Naples, was returned to Barcelona. We hear from Berlin, by Advices of the 8th Instant, That his Prussian Majesty had received Intelligence from his Minister at Dresden, that the King of Denmark desired to meet his Maje∣sty at Magdeburg. The King of Prussia has sent Answer, That his present Indisposition will not admit of so great a Journey; but has sent the King a very pressing Invitation to come to Berlin or Potsdam. These Advices say, That the Minister of the King of Sweden has produced a Letter from his Master to the King of Poland, dated from Ba∣titzan the 30th of March, O. S. wherein he ac∣quaints him, that he has been successful against the Muscovites in all the Occasions which have happened since his March into their Country. Great Numbers have revolted to the Swedes since General Mazeppa went over to that Side; and as many as have done so, have taken solemn Oaths to adhere to the Interests of his Swedish Majesty.

Advices from the Hague of the 14th Instant, N. S. say, That all Things tended to a vigorous and active Campagne; the Allies having strong Resentments against the late Behaviour of the Court of France; and the French using all possi∣ble Endeavours to animate their Men to defend their Country against a victorious and exaspe∣rated Enemy. Monsieur Rouillé had passed through Brussels without visiting either the Duke of Marlborough or Prince Eugene, who were both there at that Time. The States have met, and publickly declared their Satisfaction in the Con∣duct of their Deputies during the whole Treaty. Letters from France say, That the Court is re∣solved to put all to the Issue of the ensuing

Campaign. In the mean Time, they have ordered the Preliminary Treaty to be published, with Ob∣servation upon each Article, in order to quiet the Minds of the People, and perswade them, that it has not been in the Power of the King to procure a Peace, but to the Diminution of his Majesty's Glory, and the Hazard of his Dominions. His Grace the Duke of Marlborough and Prince Eu∣gene arrived at Ghent on Wednesday last, where, at an Assembly of all the General Officers, it was thought proper, by reason of the great Rains which have lately fallen, to defer forming a Camp, or bringing the Troops together; but as soon as the Weather would permit, to march up∣on the Enemy with all Expedition.