ANIMAL MAGNETISM, A FARCE, IN THREE ACTS, AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE ROYAL, COVENT-GARDEN,
DUBLIN, Printed for P. BYRON, GRAFTON STREET.
- DoctorMr. Quick,
- La FluerMr. Blanchard,
- Marquis de Lancy,Mr. Mackready,
- JesfreyMr. Cross,
- PiccardMr. Rock,
- Constance,Mrs. Wells,
- Lisette,Mrs. Mattocks,
LISETTE, Lisette, who do you think I have just seen.
Your old guardian I suppose.
Do you think I should look thus pleasant if it was he I meant?
Who then, our jailor who keeps the keys?
What poor Jeffrey, ha, ha, ha!—how you talk.
No, no, I guess who you mean, the young Marquis De Lancy, and he has passed so frequently under your window within these few days, that I am amazed your guardian, with all his suspicions, has not observed him.
He has walked by above ten times within this hour, and every time with his eyes fixed up to the lattice of my window, and I had no heart to remove from it, for every time he saluted me with the most respectful bow.
Was his valet with him?
No, but I saw another person in deep con|versation with him, a strange looking man, who appeared like one of the faculty, for his dress very much resembled that of my guardian's.
Who wou'd it be?
But what most surprised me, he had a let|ter in his hand, which he respectfully held up to me; but I could not reach it.
I know who it is—La Fluer, valet to the Marquis, disguised as a doctor, and I have no doubt but under that disguise he will find means to intro|duce himself to your old guardian, and perhaps be brought into the very house, and if I can assist his scheme I will; for is it not a shame the doctor should dare here in Paris to forbid both you and your ser|vant to stir from home; lock us up, and treat us as women are treated in Spain.
Never mind, Lisette, don't put yourself in a passion, for we can learn to plot and deceive, and treat him as men are treated in Spain.
Right, Madam, and to prove I am not less inclined than yourself to Spanish manners, I am as much in love as you are.
Not with the Marquis?
Do you think I don't know better where it is my duty to love? I am in love with his man—
I wish I knew the contents of that letter he held out to me.
That you are beloved—admired, I can tell every word in it—I know every sentence as well as if I had read it—and now, madam, it is my ad|vice, you sit down and answer it directly.
Before I have read it?
Yes, yes, give your answer at the time you receive his letter—consider how convenient it will Page 5 be to give the one, while you take the other—we are so watched you know, that we ought to let no opportunity pass, for fear we should never get ano|ther, and therefore when he finds means to send his letter, you must take the same to return yours.
But if my guardian should even know I had written to a gentleman.
I'll write for you—and should there be any discovery the letter will be in my hand writing, not yours—we must lose no time—the Doctor is abroad at present, and it must be both written and delivered before his return.
But my dear Lisette—
Don't put me out.
What are you saying?
What you are thinking.
You don't know my thoughts?
I do—And here they are in this letter.
Let me look at it.
No don't examine your thoughts, I beg you won't
The Doctor has lately appointed Jeffrey his apothecary—he is busy preparing of medicines and will be angry at being disturb'd.
No matter—it may save the life of some of his Master's patients.
You made me overthrow the whole decoction
And alone worthy the physician under whom you have received instructions.
I am very sorry I overthrew the decoction, for it was for my use—my leg is in pain still, and I am not yet satisfied the dog was not mad.
I tell you I am sure he was not, and had you suffer'd him to live it would have prov'd so.
My master order'd me to kill him.
Merely to make you believe he was mad, and to shew his skill by pretending to preserve you from the Infection.
Nay, don't speak against my master.
Who was it undertook to cure your eyes?
He, and thank heaven, Lisette, I shall not suffer any more from that.
Why then do you wear a bandage?
To hide the place where it was.
And is it thus the Doctor cured you?
He was so kind to put my left eye out, in order to save the right.
Well still you are more fortunate than the God of Love, for he has no eyes at all—
And I shallhave two very soon, for my mas|ter has promis'd me to buy me one at the great ma|nufactory, which will be much handsomer than either of my other—a very handsomer glass one.
And if the Doctor will remake you thus Page 7 piece by piece, in time my dear Jeffrey, you may become a very pretty man—but you know Jeffrey, I love you even as you are.
Love me—that's a good joke—Lisette, I am afraid you want something of me, you speak to me so plesantly.
Want something of you—how cou'd such an idea enter your head.
Because when you don't want something of me, you huff me, and cuff me,—from morning to night, eh, eh! you look no more as you do now, why if I was dying, I durst hardly speak to you.
Well henceforward you shall have no reason to complain. But do you know Jeffrey, I have a little-favour to ask of you.
Aye! I thought so—
My dear Jeffrey, we will make you any recompence.
What is it you want, if I can do it without offending my master I will.
If you don't tell him, he'll never know it—
But I tell him every thing—he pays me my wages for telling—and I must not take them with|out earning them.
If money is of such value to you, here take my purse.
No it is not money I want, it is something else
What, what, then.
Oh, Mrs. Lisette, you know what I 〈◊〉, but you always denied me.
Pshaw! if I cou'd grant it indeed without Page 8 my master knowing of it,
Oh, I won't tell him of that I protest.
Well, Jeffrey what is your favour?
Just one salute of Mrs. Lisette.
Oh, if that's all, after you have oblig'd us, you shall have twenty.
But I had rather have one now, than the twenty you promise after.
Come then, make haste if it must be so.
Oh the first kiss of the girl one loves is so sweet.
Now you are ready to comply with our request
Tell me what it is?
To give us the key of the garden gate.
I am very sorry I can't oblige you.
For several reasons.
Tell me one?
In the first place I have not got the key—my master took it with him when he went out.
You know you tell a falschood, he has not got it—is this your bargain and your gratitude—
Nay if you are angry at that give me the kiss again.
Ugly, foolish, yet artful and cunning wretch, leave the room, you make love to me indeed? Why I always hated you, laugh'd at you, and despised you.
I know that—did not I tell you when you spoke so kindly to me you wanted something, how then could you expect me to oblige you.
I shall ever detest the sight of you.
Unless you want something, and then you'll call me again—and then I shall kiss you a|gain, ha, ha, ha!
I never was so provok'd in my life.
My dear Lisette, If our two lovers, the Marquis and his Servant, prove no more fortunate in their schemes, than we have been in ours, I fear, I must according to his desire, marry the Doctor—and you Jeffrey.
I marry Jeffrey—here comes the Doctor.
What an indignity—I can't put up with it—I can't bear it—I'm ready to choak with passion.
Dear Sir what is the matter?
I am disgraced, ruined and undone.
And what has caused it Sir?
A conspiracy of the blackest kind—man's weakness is arrived to its highest summit; and there is nothing wanting but merit, to draw upon us the most cruel persecution.
Ah! I understand—the faculty have been conspiring against you.
They have refused to grant me a diploma—forbid me to practice as a physician, and all because I don't know a parcel of insignificant words; but exercise my profession according to the rules of reason and nature; Is it not natural to die, then if a dozen or two of my patients have died under my hands, is not that natural?
Very natural indeed.
But thank heaven, in spite of the scandalous Page 10 reports of my enemies I have this morning nine visits to make.
Very true, Sir, a young ward has sent for you to attend his guardian—three nephews have sent for you to attend their uncles, very rich men—and five husbands have sent for you in great haste to attend their wives.
And is not that a sign they think what I can do—is it not a sign they have the highest opinion of my skill, and the faculty shall see I will rise supe|rior to their machinations—I have enter'd upon a project, that I believe will teaze them—I have made overtures to one of their profest enemies, a man whom they have crushed, and who is the chief of a sect just sprung up, of which perhaps, you never heard, for simply by the power of Magnetism they can cure any ill, or inspire any passion.
Is it possible?
Yes—and every effect is produced upon the frame, merely by the power of the Magnet, which is held in the hand of the physican, as a wand of a conjuror is held in his, and it produces wonders in physic equally surprising.
And will you become of this new sect.
If they will recieve me—and by this time the President has, I dare say recieved my letter, and I wait impatiently for an answer.
A Doctor at the door, desires to speak with you.
A Doctor in my house?
I dare say it is the Magnetizing Doctor you have been writing to.
Very likely—I dare say 'tis Doctor Mystery shew him in Jeffry.
Please to walk this way, Sir.
Doctor, I hope I have your pardon, that tho' no farther acquaintance than by letter, I thus wait upon you to pay my respects.
It it the same I saw with the Mar|quis.
And it is La Fluer his valet.
And to assure you, that I, and all my brethren have the highest respect for your talents, and shall be happy to have you a member of our society.
I presume, Sir, you are Doctor Mystery, author and first discoverer of that healing and sub|lime Art Animal Magnetism.
And it will render you immortal—my cu|riosity to become acquainted with the forms and effects of your power is scarcely to be represled a moment, will you indulge me with the smallest specimen of your art, just to satisfy my curiosity.
You are then intirely ignorant of it?
And so am I.
Shall I send the women out of the room.
By no means—no, no, but I will shew both you and them a specimen of my art directly— Page 12 You know Doctor, their is an universal fluid which spreads throughout all nature.
Yes, a fluid—which is—a—fluid—and you know, Doctor that this fluid—generally called a fluid, is the most subtile of all that is the most subtle—Do you understand me.
It ascends on high,
Not very well.
I will give you a simile then—
I shall be much oblig'd to you.
This fluid is like a river—You know what a river is?
This fluid is like a river, that—that—runs—that—goes—that—gently glides—so—so—so—while there is nothing to stop it.—But if it en|counters a mound or any other impediment—boo—boo—boo—it bursts forth—it overflows the coun|try round—throws down villages, hamlets, houses, trees, cows and lambs; but remove obstacles which obstruct its course, and it begins again, softly and sweetly to flow—thus—thus—thus—the fields are again adorned, and every thing goes on, as well as it can go on.—Thus it is with the Animal Fluid, which fluid obeys the command of my art.
Surprising art! but what are the means you employ?
Merely gestures—or a simple touch—
Astonishing! give me some proof of your art directly, do satisfy my curiosity.
I will,—and by holding this wand, in which is a Magnet, in a particular position, I will so direct the fluid, that it shall immediately give you the most exeruciating rheumatism which will last you a couple of hours — I will then change it to the gout—then to strong convulsions—and after into a raging fever, & in this manner shall your curiosity become satisfied
Hold, Doctor, I had rather see the experi|ment on some one else.
Oh then, Sir, I have now at my house a patient, whom the faculty have just given up as incurable; and notwithstanding his disorder is of a most violent and dangerous kind, I will have him brought here, and I will teach you to perform his cure yourself.
By the power of Magnetism.
By the power of Magnetism.
That wou'd do me infinite honor indeed—but why bring him to my house—pray who is he?
A young man of quality.
Dear Sir, let him be brought hither, and let me see the cure perform'd.
I cant say I approve of a young man being brought into my house—for you must know Doctor—that young lady is to be my wife—as we are not exactly of an age, another may make an impression.
Consider my patent's state of health, he is like a dying man.
But he'll be well after I have cured him.
Pray Doctor, is it true what they report that he who is once in posses|sion of your art can if he pleases, make every wo|man who comes near him, in love with him.
True—certainly it is.
Why this wispering, I am ignorant what are the virtues of your art, Doctor, but I am sure it has not that of rendering you polite.
Pardon madam—I was but instructing the Doctor in some particulars of which, you may hereafter have reason to be satisfied.
I doubt that, Sir, unless your art cou'd ren|der this solitary confinement we are doomed to a|greable.
Before the end of the day, you shall prefer it to all the false pleasures of the gay world, for what are more false than the pleasures derived from balls masquerades and theatres.
Well I must own I love a Theatre.
The worst place of all, to frequent—once in my life, I was present at a theatrical repre|sentation, but such a piece did I see, ah, the most dangerous for a young woman to be present at.
Pray, Sir what was it?
An honest Gentleman of about 70 years age was before the audience in love with a young Page 15 lady of 18 whom he had brought up from her in|fancy, and whom he meant make his wife.
A young Gentleman of the neighbour|hood because he was young, rich, and handsome, imagined he would suit the lady better.
Just like them all.
He therefore disguifed his Valet, who under the mask of friendship introduced himself to this good man the guardian,
A villain, he deserv'd to be hang'd.
And seiz'd the moment when he embra|ced him as I now embrace you—to stretch out his hand, while it was behind him, and convey a letter to the Lady's waiting maid.
And she gave him another—I have seen the play myself—and it was very well acted.
And is it not scandalous to put such examples before young people?
And pray Doctor, do you think I am not under sufficient confinement, that you take the same methods, to make me still more unhappy.
Why does your ward dislike confinement.
Because she dislikes me:
Are you sure of that.
Yes, I think I am.
I am dying with curiosity to read my letter.
This wand shall cause in her sentiments the very reverse. in this is a Magnet which shall change her disposition take it
I thank you a thousand times.
Her maid has overheard us.
No no, but take me into another apart|ment, and I will explain to you what at present, you are not able to comprehend—after which you will permit me to step home and fetch my patient hither.
Certainly—when I am in possession of my ward's affection, I can have nothing to apprehend from him.—And you are sure she will now become favorable to me?—you are sure I shall attract her
Yes, sure—by the Loadstone.
I Overheard it all—and he has given your guar|dian, the wand in which you heard him, say the Magnet was contain'd—and while he keeps it, it is to Magnetise you and force you to love him, in spite of yourself.
All this agrees with the letter he has given Page 17 me from his master, in which the Marquis informs me, by what accident, that letter, my guardian sent to the Doctor who professes Magnetism fell into his hands, and immediatly gave him the idea of disguising his valet, and sending him hither under the name of that Doctor, but where is La Fluer now.
Just left your guardian, and gone home to bring the patient you heard him speak of—and I would lay a wager, that very patient is no other than the Marquis himself.
But for what end is all this?
That they have planned you may depend up|on it—for the present you have nothing to do but to pretend an affection for your guardian.
It will be difficult to feign a passion my heart revolts at.
Never fear your good acting—besides I will take equal share in it—
I'll fall in love with the Doctor as well as you—if the Magnetism affects you—why not have the same power over me? and if it makes you love him, it shall make me adore him.
Hush! here he comes.
What he has told seems so very sur|prising, that nothing but proofs, can thoroughly convince me—and now for the proof.
He ogles you, cast a tender look, and accompany it with a sigh.
My dear Constance, my lovely ward,—what, what makes you sigh? weariness of your confinement I suppose?
Come, come, I confess the restraint you have been under, has been too much, and I am not surprised you have taken a dislike to me.
A dislike to you?—Ah! Sir—
I believe it will do. Come, come, Constance, do not sigh, and make yourself uneasy, you shall not live many weeks thus retir'd for I am thinking of marrying you very soon
What did you say, if I have the good fortune to be beloved by you, let me have the happiness to hear it from yourself.
Yes cruel man,—some invincible power com|pels me in spite of my resistance—yes—I love you.
And I adore you.
What! you too! I did not expect that.
No, mine is not merely a love, but a rage—a violence—I doat to distraction—love you to the Joss of my health, of spirits, of rest and life.
If you do not take pity on the passion which burns in my heart.
If you can be regardless of the flames which consume me with violence—
Can you be insensible of my tender pleadings?
Take care how you turn my affection to hat|red.
What a terri|ble situation I have got myself into,—the effects of the Magnetism is very natural, it acts upon one as well as another, but Lisette's love is very trouble|some I'll call Jeffry in and give up part of my power to him, he wall take the wand, for a shew minutes and charm Lisette.
Why do you thus run from me, is this the return my love demands,—but be not uneasy, death shall deliver you from an object whose passion you despise.
Oh, that you could but read what is writ|ten in my heart.
Ah. Sir, behold the state
This Lisette is so furious, she makes me tremble, I must put an end to her affection, Jeffry,
Here, Sir, what do you want with me?
Take this and carry it to my study.
Stop a moment. Jeffry, stop a moment.
Two, or three moments if you please.
Now we shall see what effect it has.
I see through this design, let us fall in love with Jeffry.
With all my heart.
Well, Jeffry—and—and—how do you do Jeffry?
Pretty well, considering my leg, where the dog bit me, and considering I can only see with one eye.
But even that misforturne does not prevent your looking very agreable Jeffry.
It succeeds, she's taken.
Who can resist that amiable figure, dearest Jeffry.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
This is as bad as the other.
I think the mad dog has bit us all.
Is it posible you can love Jeffry, no no, your situation forbids it, take, take my master, I resign him to you.
No, I resign him to you.
I will not have him.
This is a very disagreeble situation.
Jeffry will you be deaf to my passion?
Yes, I am sure he will prefer me.
No, I won't, I have been in love with her this twelve months, and I'll make choice of her.
Then what will become of me!
I can bear this no longer, give that,
Ah! my dear Lifette! you have made me so happy, I must shake hands.
Learn to behave with more reserve for the future.
Ecod! I think you have not behaved with much reserve, did not you hang upon me and said you lov'd me?
Love you! behold my master, and do not imagine I can love any but him.
No, who can love any but him
This is worse and worse—where is the Doc|tor if he does not come and give me some relief, I am a ruined man
I have no doubt but it is and with him the young patient, on whom I am to prove my skill, Con|stance and you Lisette, leave the room for the pre|sent.
Yes, if you will go with me, but how do you think it is possible for me to leave you—a feeling which I cannot explain.
And one I cannot explain.
But I am going to prescribe—and it is im|proper.
This Doctor is your patient.—This is the renouned physician, from whom you are to ex|pect a cure.
He looks surprisingly well considering how much he has suffered.
That renders his case the more danger|ous—I would rather a patient of mine should look ill and be in no danger, than look well and be in im|minent danger.
To conceive the sufferings I have undergone a being must be transform'd, he must be more before he can conceive, what: have felt—for months have I led this agonizing life—but I am told Doctor you can put an end to my disorder—you have in your pos|session that which can give me ease—but by what science you are master of so great a power, I own is beyond my comprehension.
Dear Sir, you know not half the resour|ces in the art of medicines, trust firmly, that you are 〈…〉 per•ons well in•orm'd and well practised—we know how to give naturea filip.
Doctor Mystery, do you use your authority with these females to leave us to ourselves.
I can't go.
I b•••eve it is very true
It has double the power, I desire and I wish it not to act on Lisette.
I will remedy that
I will be very much oblig'd to you.
What is it?
I have no time to say, but answer me, will you be mine.
Very well, ex|tremely well, this will do very well, and now de|liver me from her love as soon as you can.
I must approach her, and 'tis done.
I am in carnest without seigning.
So much the better, it will appear more natural;
What an art!
But I will shew its power in a manner yet more astonishing.
I was on the point of being married to my guardian.
Is it possible!
Distrac|tion! that must never be.
Oh heavens, look to the patient.
〈◊〉 of his fits has sieized him,
Nay 〈◊〉 not hide yourself, oh, oh, that I could plung• this steel
I'll go into the next room, it is me I believe he has a mind to kill.
But he has no weapon, don't be afraid.
Oh, dear Sir, relieve him from this terrible fit.
Do, I beg you will.
I cannot wholly relieve him at present but you shall see me change the manner of his ra|vings, behold my power.
Oh! charming Arpasia
Arpasia was the name of his first love, he fancies himself near to her.
Is it you then whom I behold, but, alas you do not suspect what I have suffered in your absence, and I only retain my lise in the pleasing hope of one day passing it with you, and rendering yours as happy as my own, what am I to think of this silence, you do not answer to my tender com|plaints. Ah! you hate me▪ ••u despise me, b•t dread the effects of this 〈◊〉▪ I feel that it is in my power to accomplish all.
He is a going into his roving fit again, pray madam speak to him, if it is but a •ord.
Speak to me one word if it is o•ly one word.
Your ward is afraid of dis•••iging you, but give her leaf to speak to him, if 〈…〉 one word, only to be witness to a scene so novel
Pshaw, pshaw, she looks at you for consent, tell her she may say yes—just yes.
But why suffer her to speak?
Consider you are in possession of the Magnet, and nothing can prevent the power of that charm.
Ah! cruel, ought I thusto wait for a word from those lips, you wish then to behold me die.
Well, well answer him yes.
Do you love me.
Dear Sir, let him alone, he may fall into his rage again.
What thrilling transport rushes to my heart all nature appears to my ravished eyes more beauti|ful than poets ever formed, his Aurora dawns, the feather'd songsters chant their most melodious strains, the gentle zephyrs breath their choicest per|fumes, and the inspiring scene intoxicates my very soul.
Come change this fit into another.
And you who listen to me partake my joy, come and dwell with me under the shady branches of the river side, come lovely shepherdess
Come young shepherd,
I can't dance.
In vain you refuse, press with gentle steps the mossy banks, and join in the rural pastime
BUT when is this farce to end!
My master now he is introduced, will take advantage of some circumstances, to obtain ei|ther by force or stratagem the Doctor's consent to his wishes, and as he finds he is beloved by the young lady, which before he was in doubt of—
Pshaw! he might easily have guessed her sentiments. A young woman, weary of confinement as she was, is easily in love with the first young man who solicits her affections.
And may I hope you love me?
Aye, Sir, I am weary of confinement like my mistress.
A thousand thanks, my dear Lisette.
But while Jeffry keeps the keys of every door, no creature can either go out or enter with|out his leave.
And is there no way to get rid of him
Yes, a thought strikes me this moment, a couple of days ago one of our neighbours dogs, bit him, and our doctor merely to shew his skill, in the cure, persuaded him the dog was mad, suppose we make the Doctor himself believe he was really so, and that poor—
He has had another fit, but I have just now Page 27 left him in a sound sleep, which come upon him, as suddenly as any of his waking paroxysms.
If that is the case he must be left alone we will not disturb him
When I return, be sure to confirm whatever I shall say.
What have you persuaded her to leave you▪
Yes, for a little while.
Why, too much of love is something tedi|ous.) I come once more to talk with you Doctor upon this surprising art, which though you have taken such great pains to explain, I am still far from comprehending so much as I think I ought.
I will before long, give you such proof,
O save me, save me, or I am a deal woman.
What's the matter?
This is no joke, and I won't take it as such.
Have a care of him speak low, he'll be at us.
Will be at us?
Jeffry is mad.
What do you say?
I found him in his bed, gnawing the bed clothes, and when he saw me he wou'd have gnawed me too
Why I don't think this possible, the dog that bit him was not—
Indeed, Sir, he was as mad as ever—
Indeed, the poor creature looks as if some horrible infection had seized him.
Why I can't say but I think he does.
And I'll give you the true proof immediately
What's that for, how dare you use me thus.
There, you see what a dislike has to water.
That is a symptom, which confirms our suspicious.
An evident sign of the Hydrophobia.
Yes! of the Hydrophobia.
See, see how he looks only at the sight of water
If you dare throw any more upon—
Lisette let him alone, it is dangerous to push the poor creature to extremities, Doctor, suppose we Magnetize him?
No, Magnetism in cases like this can have no effect.
What remedy then?
I know of but one, and that is to smother him.
The only thing in the world.
And we ought to lose no time, if it must be done.
What smother me.
Don't be frightened, it will be over in ten minutes.
But I had rather not.
Ungrateful wretch; do you consider the consequence of living.
For shame Jeffry, don't ask such a thing.
But since he wont consent with a good grace, must seize him all three together.
Ah mercy what will become of me.
Run out of the house and never come back if you wou'd save your life.
He shant, escape, stop him there.
Why he has run into the street, what a deal of mischief he may cause, and as I am alive he has run away with all the keys in his pocket.
But luckily the doors are open.
But why does not the Doctor come back.
Depend upon it he will not leave him, till he has secured him in some safe place where he can do no mischief.
Dear Sir, come to the assistance of your patient, he has follow'd me to my cha••er and frighten'd me out of my senses, I thought he was going to die, indeed Sir he is very ill, I am sure he can't live long.
Oh Doctor re••eve me from this pressure or I die.
I wish my brother physician was return'd.
Here, here it lies
No, no, I hope not
The malady changes its place, oh, my head, remove it from my head, make it descend
I wish the Doctor wou'd return.
My tortures redouble—vultures gnaw me, can't you remove them
Oh! he's dead—he's dead—he's dead.
What will become of us all—he's dead—he's dead.
I am quite shocked at it—but my dear child|ren, don't make such a noise
It was that fatal wand you put uopn his heart
Yes, I suppose I directed the fluid the wrong way, but perhaps he only fainted,—who knows but we may recover him,—I will go and find some of my new invented drops, which may perhaps restore him,
Break open the locks then, there is no time to lose.
And Doctor Mystery not to return, every thing conspires to ruin me, I was loth to receive this patient into my house,—my heart foreboded some ill consequence▪ dear me, dear me.
If my scheme succeeds,—the conse|quence will be such as you little dream of,—where Page 31 is La Fluer.
Gone to secure Jeffry, somewhere out of the house.
If he does not return soon, all my long concerted plan is overturned.
Here he is.
I have lodged him safe for these two days.
Give me your clothes and take this immediatly and be dead.
Dead! what do you mean?
Ask no questions, but lie down on that couch and counterfeit being dead.
Your master has been doing it this half hour.
It is very strange, but since you command it—
Dare not stir, or breath,—all depends on your acting well, you must have your face powder'd,
Now I am in character.
Where are my people?
At the tavern in the next street, both disguised like Doctors.
That's right, I fly to them directly.
Your night cap, your night cap.
And give me your wig.
And heaven prosper your designs.
But what does all this mean, I don't understand?
Hush, dead people never speak.
Well, how is he, what does he say?
Why like all other persons in his state, he does not complain.
Hold this bottle to his nose, and sprinkle this on his face.
Alas, he is gone, and nothing can be of use.
How a few moments has changed him, he's as white as ashes; lay your hand upon his heart Lisette, and feel if it beats at all, for my part, I am so disconcerted with the accident I am fit for no|thing.
All is still Sir.
Is their no motion?
None in the least—
Doctor Mystery n•t returning I conceive this was a plot upon me.
And this poor creature was in the plot you think, and died on purpose to bring it about.
No, but the other found he cou'd not cure him, and so left the disgrace of his death to me, and my enemies will take the advantage of it,—con|fidering how many of my patients have died lately▪
What are we to do with the body?
I have yet one hope left, it is my last and I wont hesitate, but about it instantly.
He is certainly dead, is he not?
Certainly▪ there can be no doubt of that.
And do what we will nothing more can happen to him,
No, certainly, not in this world.
Well then I will try an experiment upon Page 33 him, which I once read, and I have often had a vast mind to try it upon Jeffry, but as he was a|live it might have proved fatal.
What is it?
No matter you shall see it performed and 〈◊〉 can't say I have much doubt of its success. Begin •o take off some of his garments while I go and get 〈◊〉 the apparatus ready.
But I am not such a fool to stay till 〈◊〉••me back, my master may say what he will, but 〈…〉 go away.
Nonsense man have you not undertook to 〈◊〉 dead, come finish your part with a good grace.
Pray do, La Fluer.
But what experiment is he going to try upon me, I always hated Doctors, and would never let any one of them come near me.
But this is not a doctor, the college have refused to admit him, so don't be afraid.
O! if that's the case.
Hush! play you part.
Lisette, help me with these instruments, and then run and watch that skillet of oil on the fire, and when it boils bring it hither.
But suppose any body should come in while you are trying the experiment.
Right, I'll lock the door, my fright makes me forget every thing.
Let me see the i•struments.
Pshaw▪ what signifies seeing them, a'n't you to feel them?
What, force into a Page 34 man's house whether he will or no.
I hear a noise,
I have powerful reasons for entering this house I came hither▪ •••ompanied by these physici|ans, sent with me by the college to demand a patient, who was this morning brought hither by a notorious professor of Quackery, the young gen|tleman is of family and nearly allied to me.
I am undone!
Where is he, Sir—I must see him and speak with him.
At present you can't speak with him, he is in a better world.
Alas! behold him there, or am I deceived▪ no it is he himself whom I see,—and he is dead. Gentlemen I call you as witness he is dead, and that yonder stands the assassin.
Yes, he is dead, but he is not dead according to our rules.
O my dear friend, and are you gone, but your death shall be revenged, villian
Dear Sir have pity on my poor master he has killed, killed the poor gentleman to be sure, but it Page 35 was without malice.
But you know gentlemen this is not the first patient, that has been killed during an operation.
Aye. by the authority of the college.
Dear Sir my only hope is in your mercy.
Then despair, for know I am the Marquis de Lancy, and call to your remembrance, with what insolence you rejected all my overtures to espouse your ward, here is the advantageous contract I re|peatedly sent to you, which you had the arrogance to return to me without even deigning to look at it.
Only deliver me from this trouble, and I will sign it without reading it at all.
But will the Lady also sign it?
No, for how could I wed another when he
But consider, my dear Constance, that I am old, and ugly, jealous, and infirm, indeed I am in|deed I am, I protest Constance.
But my love for you is so implanted in my heart.
If that's the case,—come Sir follow us.
Stay, give me the contract, and let me sign it
What imports your signing if your ward will not.
She will sign.
Give me the contract, and hold that
Keep it, never let it go from you.
Yes, I feel a desire to sign give me the con|tract.
Aye, I was sure of it.
Ah! I breath again, I am a little better.
Why he is not dead.
No, I am mending apace.
Gentlemen tear in pieces the process,
And what misery would your damn'd instruments, and your boiling oil have brought up|on me.
How did you hear, in that fit what I said.
Very easily, Sir return him the wand, and the ladies I dare say will fall in love with him again.
My eyes are open, I recollect them both, but this was the sick man
But I was the dead one.
I am cheated, defrauded,—what, ho, neigh|bours,—here are thieves, murderers.
Nay, Doctor, reflect upon the arts you made use of, to keep my Constance yours, even in spite of her inclination, then do not comdemn the artifice I employed to obtain her, with her own consent. A reward like this urged me to encounter every ha|zard and every danger. For believe me doctor there is no Magnetism, like the powerful Magnetism of Love.