An Exchange of Letters [Volume: 4(1985), pp. 439-452]

AN EXCHANGE OF LETTERS
443
Dear Djido, 22 March, 1961
I have just returned to my family in Manchester after an absence of almost two
months, and Mama Mi gave me the rest of your letters. In the hospital in Stockholm,
I shed a great burden. During the past year, I have worked extraordinarily hard-14 to
16 hours a day. Three times the electroencephalograph showed a disturbance in the area
of my brain injury, there was a great danger that the [old] abscess was active again. The
last examination showed that the disorder was diminished, and that there was no sign of
abscess or tumor, which is most important, so an operation was not necessary. The
examination itself was very painful, drilling into the skull and spine and pumping air into
them. The doctors have cautioned me that the future state of my health depends on me.
I must reduce my work, and not work more than five or six hours a day; I must exercise
much more, and must not drink any alcohol.
The condition of my health is made much worse by difficulties of a psychological
nature. In addition to the old traumas, there was the tragedy of Branko 's death. Since we
lost Branko, every Monday afternoon has been difficult for me to live through. For Vera
it's still harder. Often at night I wake up and find myself overcome with tears. Little
Marko13 often gathers flowers and puts them beside Branko 'spicture. Then came Marian 's
death,14 so tragic, which I learned of when I was already in a very poor state of health.
I decided to dedicate the book which I am working on at Oxford to him.
The sorrows from the war are now blending into one. Vera is areaeroandisa
reat hel in seemn that e esono csh Thu ese tragedies becomelifelong and make my life's path dee e come to the realizatic hT dmuTorve
everyone, even ougI have experienced the worst things. Work on the history of the
var i-sagdesape. Again, I ifei —t h-t&ugh each day, each event. How many of us were
kiled~how few of us remain. From this was born my idethats ecessa77 evey
man to struggle and that i t n oneesrytocuLyour own throat. I have traveled a
gre-at eatl ovhese 15 months and have had the pporunity to see this grediat -worldV1- I —understand -tho-h-thbf tour small land even better. In t hjsegr a ne
only mutual agreement and understanding can save us. That is indeed a historical
path.
Personally, I have found peace in university work and writing books. The history of
the war has especially given me new strength. These great pages of our people must be
recorded as faithfully as possible in order to preserve for future generations proof of the
vitality and ethical greatness of our generation. Last year I had a fellowship here and gave
lectures on the history of NOB [National Liberation Struggle]. This year, I have been
chosen as an honorary professor, and give lectures on constitutional law and on the history of political doctrines of central and eastern Europe. This year I have been chosen to
give lectures on our history from 1875 to 1945 at Oxford University, as well as to write
a book about 1914. I work at them simultaneously for deep patriotic reasons. The
Germans are again actively putting the blame for the war in 1914 on Serbia, but I think
that I defend the truth honestly. I have invitations from various universities to give
lectures, even from Japan, Cuba and India. In the course of this past year, I lectured in
all the Scandinavian countries and America. I still deal with international law. Just
recently one of my books in the field of the philosophy of law has appeared in an edition
of the Swedish Academy of Sciences. It is an essay on the evolution of international law
in the context of military conventions. In Stockholm I presented my thoughts on the
13. Marko: Dedijer's youngest son.
14. Marian: Marian Stilinovic.