L[ydia] M[aria] C[hild] ALS to Louisa [Gilman] Loring, April 16, 1839

Northampton 16 of April. 1839

Dearest Louisa,

Mrs. Rogers (formerly Derby) a handsome and
very polite neighbor, has just sent to inform me that she goes
to Boston tomorrow; and the information comes very apro-pos;
for I have just received the joint production of yourself and
Lucy Ann. You are precious friends, and I dont know what
I should do without you. If you ever have desponding mo-
-ments, when you are tempted to think yourself of no use in
the world remember that you have been one great means of
keeping me from insanity and suicide. Within the last year,
I have had dreadful dark hours - oh, horribly dark; and
I have struggled alone; for I have tried; though not always
successfully, not to add my despondency to my dear husband's
other discouragements. My worst, indeed my only real affliction
is that I cannot do something. I know not how it is, my spirit
is paralyzed. I rise in the morning, resolved I will write
something, but I sit with my eyes fixed on the wall, and my
mind wholly engrossed with the cares and anxieties of this miser-
-able existence. Then comes bitter self-reproach, which always
creates dissatisfaction with everything, as well as ourselves.

I wonder Mr. Child hasn't gone crazy. In the first place,
the sugar business is complicated and difficult; then he was
feeling his way in a method new to him; there was from the
beginning an obvious distrust of him, because he had been a
lawyer and was trying a new trade; he has been fettered in a
thousand ways for want of funds; and his friends and the public

{written perpendicularly in the left margin}

Many thanks for your kindness to Mr. Turnbull. All that you do for me must be
done in Palmer's spirit; for I have little hope of ever reciprocating benefits. Did he seem
faché about the machinery?

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{written upside-down in the top margin}

Give my best, best love to Mr. Loring.
I wish all this world was made of sugar
for him to eat. Best love to Nony dear.
Yours most affectionately,
L.M.C.

{end upside-down writing}