His pa's romance / James Whitcomb Riley [electronic text]

HIS PA'S ROMANCE

ALL 'at I ever want to beIs ist to be a man like PaWhen he wuz young an' married Ma! Uncle he telled us yisterdyIst all about it then —'cause they,My Pa an' Ma, wuz bofe away To 'tend P'tracted Meetin', where My Pa an' Ma is allus there When all the big "Revivals" is,An' "Love-Feasts," too, an' "Class," an' "Prayer," An' when's "Comoonian Servicis." An', yes, an' Uncle said to not To never tell them nor let on Like we knowed now ist how they got First married. So—while they wuz gone —

Uncle he telled us ever'thing —'Bout how my Pa wuz ist a pore Farm-boy. —He says, I tell you what, Your Pa wuz pore! But neighbors they All liked him —all but one old man An' his old wife that folks all say Nobody liked, ner never can! Yes, sir! an' Uncle purt'-nigh swore About the mean old man an' way He treat' my Pa! —'cause he's a pore Farm-hand —but prouder 'an a king' — An' ist work' on, he did, an' wore His old patched clo'es, ist anyway, So he saved up his wages —then He ist worked on an' saved some more, An' ist worked on, ist night an' day — Till, sir, he save' up nine or tenEr hunnerd dollars! But he keepAll still about it, Uncle say — But he ist thinks —an' thinks a heap! Though what he wuz a-thinkin', Pa

He never tell' a soul but Ma — (Then, course, you know, he wuzn't Pa, An', course, you know, she wuzn't Ma—They wuz ist sweethearts, course you know); 'Cause Ma wuz ist a girl, about Sixteen; an' when my Pa he go A-courtin' her, her Pa an' Ma— The very first they find it out — Wuz maddest folks you ever saw! 'Cause it wuz her old Ma an' Pa 'At hate' my Pa, an' toss their head, An' ist raise Ned! An' her Pa said He'd ruther see his daughter dead! An' said she's ist a child! —an' so Wuz Pa! —An' ef he wuz man-grown An' only man on earth below,His daughter shouldn't marry him Ef he's a king an' on his throne! Pa's chances then looked mighty slim Fer certain, Uncle said. But he —

He never told a soul but herWhat he wuz keepin' quiet fer.

Her folks ist lived a mile from where He lived at —an' they drove past there

To git to town. An' ever' one An' all the neighbors they liked her An' showed it! But her folks —no, sir! — Nobody liked her parents none! An' so when they shet down, you know, On Pa —an' old man tell' him so — Pa ist went back to work, an' she Ist waited. An', sir! purty soon Her folks they thought he's turned his eye Some other way —'cause by-an'-byThey heerd he'd rented the old place He worked on. An' one afternoon A neighbor, that had bust' a trace, He tell' the old man they wuz signsAround the old place that the youngMan wuz a-fixin' up the oldLog cabin some, an' he had brungNew furnichur from town; an' told How th' old house'uz whitewashed clean An' sweet—wiv mornin'-glory vines An' hollyhawks all 'round the door

An' winders —an' a bran'-new floorIn th' old porch —an' wite-new greenAn'-red pump in the old sweep-well! An', Uncle said, when he hear tellO' all them things, the old man he Ist grin' an' says, he "reckon' now Some gal, er widder anyhow,That silly boy he's coaxed at lastTo marry him!" he says, says-ee, "An' ef he has,'so mote it be'!" Then went back to the house to tell His wife the news, as he went past The smokehouse, an' then went on in The kitchen, where his daughter she Wuz washin', to tell her, an' grin An' try to worry her a spell!The mean old thing! But Uncle said She ain't cry much—ist pull her old Sunbonnet forrerds on her head— So's old man he can't see her face At all! An' when he s'pose he scold'

An' jaw enough, he ist clear' outAn' think he's boss of all the place!

Then Uncle say, the first you know They's go' to be a Circus-show

In town; an' old man think he'll take His wife an' go. An' when she say To take their daughter, too, she shake Her head like she don't want to go; An' when he sees she wants to stay,

The old man takes her, anyway!An' so she went! But Uncle heSaid she looked mighty sweet that day, Though she wuz pale as she could be, A-speshully a-drivin' by Wite where her beau lived at, you know; But out the corner of his eye The old man watch' her; but she throw He pairsol 'round so she can't see The house at all! An' then she hear Her Pa an' Ma a-talkin' low An' kindo' laughin'-like; but she Ist set there in the seat behind, P'tendin' like she didn't mind.An', Uncle say, when they got past The young man's place, an' 'pearantly He wuzn't home, but off an' gone To town, the old man turned at last An' talked back to his daughter there, All pleasant-like, from then clean on Till they got into town, an' where

The Circus wuz, an' on inside O' that, an' through the crowd, on to

The very top seat in the tent Wite next the band —a-bangin' through A tune 'at bust his yeers in two!

An' there the old man scrouged an' tried To make his wife set down, an' she A-yellin'! But ist what she meantHe couldn't hear, ner couldn't seeTill she turned 'round an' pinted. ThenHe turned an' looked—an' looked again!.. He ist saw neighbors ever'where— But, sir, his daughter wuzn't there!

An', Uncle says, he even saw Her beau, you know, he hated so; An' he wuz with some other girl. An' then he heerd the Clown "Haw-haw!" An' saw the horses wheel an' whirl Around the ring, an' heerd the zipp O' the Ringmaster's long slim whip—But that whole Circus, Uncle said, Wuz all inside the old man's head!

An' Uncle said, he didn't findHis daughter all that afternoon — An' her Ma says she'll lose her mind

Ef they don't find her purty soon! But, though they looked all day, an' stayed There fer the night p'formance —not No use at all! —they never laidTheir eyes on her. An' then they got Their team out, an' the old man shook His fist at all the town, an' then Shook it up at the moon ag'in, An' said his time'ud come, some day!An' jerked the lines an' driv away.

Uncle, he said, he 'spect, that night, The old man's madder yet when they Drive past the young man's place, an' hear A fiddle there, an' see a light Inside, an' shadders light an' gay A-dancin' 'crost the winder-blinds. An' some young chaps outside yelled, "Say! What'pears to be the hurry —hey?" But the old man ist whipped the lines An' streaked past like a runaway!

An' now you'll be su'prised, I bet!— I hardly ain't quit laughin' yetWhen Uncle say, that jamboree An' dance an' all—w'y, that's a sign That any old man ort to see,As plain as 8 and 1 makes 9, That they's a weddin' wite inside That very house he's whippin' soTo git apast —an', sir! the bride There's his own daughter! Yes, an' oh! She's my Ma now —an' young man she Got married, he's my Pa! Whoop-ee! But Uncle say to not laugh allThe laughin' yet, but please save some To kindo' spice up what's to come!

Then Uncle say, about next day The neighbers they begin to call An' wish'era well, an' say how glad An' proud an' tickled ever' way Their friends all is—an' how they had

The lovin' prayers of ever' one That had homes of their own! But none Said nothin' 'bout the home that she Had run away from! So she sighed Sometimes—an' wunst she purt'-nigh cried.

Well, Uncle say, her old Pa, he Ist like to died, he wuz so mad! An' her Ma, too! But by-an'-by They cool down some. An','bout a week,She want to see her Ma so bad, She think she'll haf to go! An' so She coax him; an' he kiss her cheek An' say, Lord bless her, course they'll go! An', Uncle say, when they're bofe come A-knockin' there at her old home — W'y, first he know, the door it flew. Open, all quick, an' she's jerked in, An', quicker still, the door's banged to An' locked: an' crosst the winder-sill,

The old man pokes a shotgun through An' says to git! "You stold my child,"

He says; "an', now she's back, w'y you Clear out, this minute, er I'll kill

You! Yes, an' I 'ull kill her, too, Ef you don't go!" An' then, all wild, His young wife begs him please to go! An' so he turn' an' walk' —all slow An' pale as death, but awful still An' ca'm—back to the gate, an' on Into the road, where he had gone So many times alone, you know! An', Uncle say, a whipperwill Holler so lonesome, as he go On back to'rds home, he say he 'spec' He ist 'ud like to wring its neck! An' I ain't think he's goin' back All by hisse'f —but Uncle say That's what he does, an' it's a fac'!

An' 'pears-like he's gone back to stay — 'Cause there he stick', ist thataway, An' don't go nowheres any more, Ner don't nobody ever see

Him set his foot outside the door — Till 'bout five days, a boy loped down The road, a-comin' past from town, An' he called to him from the gate,

An' sent the old man word: He's thought Things over now; an', while he hate To lose his wife, he think she ought To mind her Pa an' Ma an' do

Whatever they advise her to.An' sends word, too, to come an' git Her new things an' the furnichur That he had special' bought fer her — 'Cause, now that they wuz goin' to quit, She's free to ist have' all of it; — So, fer his love fer her, he say To come an' git it, wite away. An' spang! that very afternoon,Here come her Ma —ist 'bout as soon As old man could hitch up an' tell Her "hurry back!" An' 'bout as quick As she's drove there to where my Pa — I mean to where her son-in-law — Lives at, he meets her at the door All smilin', though he's awful pale An' trimbly—like he's ist been sick; He take her in the house —an', 'fore She knows it, they's a cellar-door Shet on her, an' she hears the click

Of a' old rusty padlock! Then, Uncle, he say, she kindo' stands An' thinks —an' thinks —an' thinks ag'in — An' maybe thinks of her own child Locked up —like her! An' Uncle smiled, An' I ist laughed an' clapped my hands!

An' there she stayed! An' she can cryIst all she want! an' yell an' kickTo ist her heart's content! an' try

To pry out wiv a quiltin'-stick!But Uncle say he guess at last She 'bout give up, an' holler' through The door-crack fer to please to be So kind an' good as send an' tell The old man, like she want him to, To come, 'fore night, an' set her free, Er—they wuz rats down there! An' yell She did, till, Uncle say, it saured The morning's milk in the back yard! But all the answer reached her, where She's skeerd so in the dark down there, Wuz ist a mutterin' that she heard —"I've sent him word!—I've sent him word!" An' shore enough, as Uncle say, He has "sent word!" Well, it's plum night An' all the house is shet up tight— Only one winder'bout half-way Raised up, you know; an' ain't no light Inside the whole house, Uncle say.