Dis, dat an' tutter : poems / Elliot Blaine Henderson [electronic text]

De Cullahd Speekah!

TO DR. E.A. WHITMIRE, Columbus, Ohio

Mah frens an' fellah trabblers, Ah rise tonight to say, Dat ah feels mos' eppahzootic To be honored in dis way. Ah didn't kackerlate Ah's gwine to be de fus' to speak, An' to buss in at dis juncture Seems it am er lots ob cheek.

Ah hain't much on speech makin', Ah doan' lay no claim to sich, Ah' 'fraid befo' ah gits froo Ah's gwine to swamp into de ditch. Ah's kinder skyard ah's gwine to Git de hoss behine de kyart! So dat am pawt de reason Dat ah's er li'l' skyard to stawt.

Ah hain't much on skewce makin', Tryin' to wiggle out de hawhess, Dis am er fac' ah speaks tonight, An' comes fum one dat's honess', Dis am big game fo' me tonight, Ah mus' say fo' to tackle, So dat am 'bout de reason, Dat ah feels jes' skyard er spackle.

Ah doan' know much 'bout grammah, Dahfo' nebbah de less ah specks, Befo' ah gits ha'f froo dis ting Ah'll git loss in mah tex' De d'sults am so permisskess An' so debillertates itse'f, Dat after' vestergayshun Dey hain't nuffin' much dat's lef'.

An useter preech er li'l' bit, Was called er fair exzortah! But some de deacons rizzed er kick, An' cut mah salary shortah. Right den an, dah ah drapp'd mah trade, White washin' b'gin to follah. So when yo' need sich in mah line Yo'll find me in de hollah.

Ah see so many hyar tonight Kin orate lak good Moses. Ah jes' kain't see how ise de one To speak, yo' good fo'ks choses, Ah sho' mus' 'gratulate mahse'f At dis great unckshess kineness An' pacify mah inmos' soul an' say, Dis am sublimeness,

Sich honors frusst on me dis way It pessterkates me terr'ble! Ah's jes' plum drunk wiff joy an' glee, An' free fum all tings worr'ble. Ah retrospeckterkates er speck De pass down to de present, De 'vancement ob prosperity, Bobbs up jes' lak er pheasant.

Why ah jes' feels mos' hippnertized, Mah heart's combusskerated! To hab sich good will ob yo' all, To be so ellervated. De parr'ble ob mah dreams explode Far mo' den ah expected! Ah hopes whut ah's done said tonight, Will allus be refleckted.

Dey's so much dat's to tawk erbout, Mah mine gits in confusion, In tryin' to exkervate some thoughts De differn' sides perroozin', But beings ah mus' be speedy, Kaze mah time am got er limit. De tings dat am less 'powtant, Ah'll mah subjee' kinder trim it.

Mah frens yo' all am 'sembled hyar, To abdercate great problem, Ah hopes yo'll labberate yo'se'ves Togeddah fo' to solb 'em. De copiousness ob fluency Absorbs mah aspirations, To sich er stent Ah hopes mah frens Will he'p de cullahd natien!

Kose ah debbillerates de fac' Dat we hain't reached de zenith! Whah 'vancement an' prosperity Am hubberin' in between us. De eagle am er roostin' high! He flopps his wings an' flutters, He koch er hol' de Stars an' Stripes An' says we all am brudders.

Move on ye cullahd fo'ks! Move on! Jes' lak de ship ob Zion! Ef yo' kerflounce de Lawd will gibb Yo' credit fo' er tryin'! De bumbs may buss loss in de air, De shells crack loose an' whis'el! Jes' dodge 'em lak er porckyoopine March on lak Paul, de Pissel!

Ah takes de telescope ob thought, An' views beyond ol' Dixie! An' rings am kinder brilein' up An' gittin' mighty twisty! Jes' keep right on! Doan' make er turn, Jes' keep yo' foots er trompin' Fus' ting yo' know yo' all will buss Squah in de harbor stompin'!

De flosserfy ob de phrase Ah bleebs, de subjec' signed befo' me, It's got me sortah tangled At de same time kineder bores me! Ah laks to tawk permisskuss Fus' one ring an' den de udder, Not tied up, but jes' let loose Lak er ship dat's on er skudder.

Perskronnimy am one de tings Ah laks mos' pow'ful awful! Er ting ah laks to' lusstrate 'bout When ah gits pow'ful thoughtful. It patterrisk terkates mah views An' makes mah subjec' spicey! It jossellates de fo'kses up So dat dey doan' git icey!

But pollerticks am er nudder ring, Dat occupies mah tenshun! Ah'll not abbrupterkate dis now, To gibb mah time extenshun' Mah time am flittin' mighty fas' Jes' lak er big ball eagle! Ah guess it's 'bout de time fo' me To out dis loop to wiggle!

Ah hopes ah's spok'd hermet'cally In sich er way an' manner To glorify dis United States Dis great big 'Mer'can banner! Dat quadruped de dubb ob peace Kerfrolics 'roun' erbout us! De lion's done laid down wiff de sheep An' fears done tuck plum out us!

Now ef yo'll cleah yo' froats er spell, We'll have er li'l' singin', Ah want yo' all to sot dis place, Jes' lak er cow bell ringin', Jes' frow yo' soul dow in de chune! An buss out payteottic 'Rouse de white fo'ks off dey shinns Wiff er cheer dat's narrokocktic!