Some select cases resolved. Specially, tending to the right ordering of the heart, that we may comfortably walk with God in our general and particular callings: &c. In a letter to a pious friend in England. / By Thomas Shepard, M.A. Formerly of Emmanuel-College in Cambridge in England: afterward Minister of Cambridge in New-England. ; Corrected by four several editions.

Three valuable Pieces. Viz. Select Cases Resolved; First Principles Of the Oracles of GOD, OR, Sum of Christian Religion; Both corrected by Four several Editions: AND A private Diary; Containing MEDITATIONS and EXPERIENCES Never before Published.

By THOMAS SHEPARD, M. A. Of Emmanuel-College in Cambridge in England: Afterward Minister of the Church of Cambridge in New-England.

With some Account of the Rev. AUTHOR.

Heb. xi. 4.

He being dead, yet speaketh.

BOSTON: Printed and Sold by ROGERS and FOWLE in Queen-street. 1747.

A general PREFACE giving some Account of the AUTHOR, and the following Pieces.

TO oblige the Reader, I would give a brief Ac∣count of the very pious, judicious and renown∣ed Author of the following Pieces, from some of the best Authorities.

Dr. Cotton Mather tells us, He was born at Towcester near Northampton in England, Nov. 5. 1605; went to the University of Cambridge when he was 15 Years of Age; was there converted to God in 1624, and took his Degree of Master of Arts; afterwards engaged in the Ministry; set Sail from Harwich in England for New-England in the latter End of 1634, but by a great Storm was driven and forc'd to land at Yarmouth in Norfolk, and liv'd the Winter at Bastwick in that County; in the Spring of 1635 went up to London; in July sailed from Gravesend; Oct. 3, arrived at Bos∣ton; whence in a Day or two his Friends at Cambridge, who had come before, gladly fetched him, and he be∣came their Pastor till he died.

But at present, waving his Life and Character by that learned Writer; I shall now rather give the Reader a shorter History drawn by those Rev. and famous Men, Mr. William Greenhill of London and Mr. Samuel Mather of Dublin; (the latter at our Cambridge having lived divers Years under his Ministry) in their Preface to Mr. Shepard's Sermons of Ineffectual hearing the Word, and Subjection to Christ in all his Ordinances, published at London in 1657, as follows—

Concerning the Author; it were worth the while to write the Story of his Life.

It is needless to speak in his Commendation: His Works praise him in the Gates. They that knew him, knew he had as real Apprehensions of the Things of God, and lived as much with God and with his own Heart, and more, than the most of Christians do.

He had his Education at Emmanuel College in Cam∣bridge [in England.] The Conversion and Change of his Heart was wrought betimes when he lived in the University, and enjoyed Dr. Preston's Ministry: Whereby God had the very best and Strength of his Parts and Years for himself.

When he was first awakened to look after Religion, having before swam quietly in the Stream of the Times, he was utterly at a Loss which Way to take; being much molested with Suggestions of Atheism (in the Depths whereof Junius was quite lost for a Time) and moved and tempted to the Ways of Familism also. He read the Books of H N among the rest; where meeting with this Passage,

That a Christian is so swallowed up in the Spirit, that what Action soever the Spirit moves Him to, suppose Whore∣dom, he may do it, and it is no Sin to him;

— This was enough: For being against the Light of natural Conscience, it bred in him an utter Abhor∣rency of those loose and vile Ways and Principles e∣ver after. This Advantage he also had, that Doctor Tuckney was then his Tutor; whom he acquainted with his Condition, and had his Direction and Help in those miserable Fluctuations and Straits of his Soul. Happy is the Man whose Doubtings end in Establish∣ments: (Nil tam certum quam quod de Dubio certum) But when Men arrive in Scepticism as the last Issue of all their Debates and Thoughts of Heart about Re∣ligion, it had been good for such if they had never been born.

After his Heart was changed, it was observed, that his Abilities of Mind were also much enlarged; Di∣vinity, though it be chiefly the Art and Rule of the Will yet raising and perfecting the Understanding also: Which we conceive came to pass by this Means, that the Fear of God fixed him and made him serious, and taught him to meditate, which is the main Im∣provement of the Understanding. Therefore such as came to him for Direction about their Studies, he would often advise to be much in MEDITATION: Professing, that having spent some Time in Meditation every Day in his Beginning-Times, and written down his Thoughts, he saw Cause now to bless God for it.

He was assigned to the Work of the Ministry at a solemn Meeting and Conference of sundry godly Ministers about it: There were to the Number of Twelve at the Meeting, whose solemn Advice was, that he should serve the Lord in the Gospel of his Son; wherein they have been the Salvation of many a Soul: For upon this he addrest himself to the Work with that Reality and Seriousness in wooing and winning Souls, that his Word made deep Impressions, and sel∣dom or never fell to the Ground.

He was Lecturer a while at Earles-cone in Essex, which we take it was the first Place of his Ministry: where he did much Good: And the People there, though now it is long since and many are gone, yet have a very precious and deep Remembrance of him, of the mighty Power of God by him to this Day. [i. e. 1657] But [Dr.] W. Laud then Bishop of Lon∣don soon stopt his Mouth and drove him away, as he did many other godly Ministers from Essex at the same Time. After this he lived at Butterchrome in Yorkshire, at Sir Richard Darley's House, till the In∣iquity of those Times hunted him thence also. Then he went to Northumberland, 'till silenced there also.

And being thus molested and chased up and down

at Home, he fled to New-England; and after some Difficulties and Delays by great Storms and Disasters at Sea upon the Sands and Coasts of Yarmouth, which retarded his Voyage till another Year, he arrived there at last; where he was Pastor to a precious Flock at Cambridge about Fourteen Years.

His Manner of Preaching was close and searching, and with Abundance of Affection and Compassion to his Hearers. He took great Pains in his Prepa∣rations for his Publick Labours; accounting it a curs∣ed Thing to do the Work of the Lord negligently: And therefore spending usually Two or Three whole Days in preparing for the Work of the Sabbath, had his Sermons finished usually on Saturday by Two of the Clock. He hath sometime exprest himself thus in publick;—

God will curse that Man's Labours that lumbers up and down in the World all the Week, and then upon Saturday in the Afternoon goes to his Study; when as God knows that Time were little en∣ough to pray and weep in, and to get his Heart in Frame, &c.

He affected Plainness together with Power in Preaching; not seeking Abstrusities, nor liking to hover and soar aloft in dark Expressions, and so shoot his Arrows, as many Preachers do, over the Heads of his Hearers.

It is a wretched Stumbling-Block to some, that his Sermons are somewhat strict, and as they term it le∣gal. Some Souls can relish none but meal-mouth'd Preachers, who come with soft and smooth and tooth∣less Words: (Byssina verba byssinis viris:) But these Times need humbling Ministries, and blessed be God that there are any: For where there are no Law-Sermons, there will be few Gospel-Lives; and were there more Law-Preaching by the Men of Gifts, there would be more Gospel-Walking both by themselves and the People. To preach the Law, not in a forc'd affected Manner, but wisely and powerfully, together

with the Gospel, as Christ himself was won't to do; (Mat. v. and elsewhere) is the Way to carry on all Three together; [viz.] Sense of Misery, the Application of the Remedy, and the Returns of Thankfulness and Duty. Nor is any Doctrine more comforting than this humbling Way of God, if rightly managed.

His Sickness began with a sore Throat, and then a Quinsy, and then a Fever, whereof he died, Aug. 25. 1649. This was one Thing he said upon his Death-Bed; "LORD, I am vile, but thou art righteous:" And to those that were about him, he bid them; Love JESUS CHRIST dearly; That little Part that I have in him, is no small Comfort to me now.

Thus far those Rev. and Eminent Men, Mr. William Greenhill and Mr. Samuel Mather in 1657. By Mistake indeed they suppose Mr. Shepard was 46 or 47 Years old when he died: For precisely speaking, he was but 43 Years, 8 Months, and 20 Days. So great a Pro∣gress did he make in Sanctity and divine Knowledge; and in the midst of many Molestations and abundant ministerial Labours, he composed and did so much, and grew in such Esteem and pious Fame, in so short a Time; that I cannot but reckon him one of the ad∣mirable Men of his Age.

On this Occasion, I would recite a Paragraph in the Life of the very Rev. Mr. James Fraser of Brea in Scotland, published at Edinburgh in 1738; as follows—

The Lord hath blessed the Reading of Practical Writings to me; and thereby my Heart hath been put into Frame, and much Strength and Light got∣ten: Such as Isaac Ambrose, Goodwin, Mr. Gray, and very much by Rutherford's above others: But most of all by Mr. Thomas Shepard of New-England his Works; he hath by the Lord been made the Interpreter one of a Thousand; so that under CHRIST I have been obliged to his Writings as much and more than to any Mean whatever, for wakening,

strengthening and enlightening my Soul; the Lord made him a Well of Water to me in all my Wilder∣ness Straits.

Both the Two former of the following Pieces, viz. The First Principles and Select Cases, were published together in one Book, first at London and then at Endin∣burgh in 1648. They have been also printed since at divers Times in both those Cities, and always went to∣gether. But all have many Mistakes, both in Figures, Words, and especially Pointings that much obscure the Sense and puzzle the Reader: All which, from the two first Editions mentioned, with two others both at London and Edinburgh, upon comparing them together, I have so corrected; that this, which as far as I find, is the first in America, is the most correct Edition extant. But in the Letter containing the Cases, for the Reader's clearer View, I have taken the Liberty to insert the Titles of the several Cases and Questions, as they here appear in Italica at the Heads of their several Subjects. In the Title-Pages of the two first Editions, the Letter; is said to be sent from New-England to a Friend in Eng∣land: Yet by several Passages at the Beginning and End, which I have italica'd, compared with the Ac∣counts above, it plainly appears, 'twas wrote in England a little before his coming away, and probably at Bast∣wick in the Spring of 1635.

As for the Diary succeeding—That it is the genuine Composure of this excellent Divine, appears from an old Manuscript found at Cambridge above Thirty Years ago, and ascribed to him as in the Title-Page: As also from this further Evidence, that the Sentiments, the Spirit, the Stile and Manner of Expression are intirely Mr. Shepard's; and whoever will take the Pains to compare this with his Sermons on the Parable of the Ten Virgins and other Writings, will clearly see their exact Similitude: And above all yet, that Dr. Cotton Mather, in drawing Mr. Shepard's Life, about Fifty

Years ago, had this Part at least of the Diary before him, from whence he has transcribed several Para∣graphs: As of Dec. 1. 1640; Mar. 19, April 10, July 10, Aug. 15, Oct. 10, and Nov. 3, 1641. But the Rest were never published 'till now.

And here it is an Act of Justice to consider, that the Rev. Author penning these retired Meditations only for his own private Use; we must suppose, he did not write with so much Guard and Correctness of Expres∣sion as if he were preparing for the publick View: or he would no Doubt have rectified several Passages and rendered them more clear and accurate. Yea tis likely they would have appeared more correct and clear, if we could have found the Author's Manuscript. The equitable and much more the candid Reader will there∣fore make just and kind Allowances. And the very Name of Mr. Shepard is enough to recommend these his private Thoughts to those who have read his Writ∣ings, are seriously concerned for their Salvation, and a∣fraid of being deceived in Matters of eternal Moment.

As for a further Account of the Diary; see the ex∣cellent Preface immediately before it. And though the Rev. Writer, from his singular Modesty, forbid his Name to be subscribed; yet being now deceased, I may take the Freedom to tell the Reader, it was that extraordinary Person, Mr. David Brainard; who died the 9th Current, in the 30th Year of his Age, to the great Grief of those who knew him, both among the English and Indians.

Octob. 20. 1747.

THOMAS PRINCE.

SOME Select Cases RESOLVED. Specially, tending to the right Ordering of the Heart, that we may comfortably walk with God in our general and par∣ticular Callings: &c.

In a LETTER to a pious Friend in England.

By THOMAS SHEPARD, M. A. Formerly of Emmanuel-College in Cambridge in England: Afterward Minister of Cambridge in New-England.

Corrected by Four several Editions:

BOSTON: Printed and Sold by ROGERS and FOWLE in Queen-street. 1747.

Imprimatur

Joseph Caryl.

Imprimatur

James Cranford.

To the CHRISTIAN READER.

THIS holy Letter of that ready Scribe of Christ's Kingdom, [Mr. Shepard of New-England] is so full of Grace and Truth, that it needs no other Epistle commendatory than it self.

Yet seeing the Lot is unexpectedly fallen upon my Pen, to give it a Superscription that it may pass current from Hand to Hand; I do heartily in the first Place, dedicate it to thee, thou bleeding-troubled-Spirit, as a choice con∣dial Friend, and Interpreter, one of a Thousand, that doth not only speak thy Heart, but by the Comforter (whom Christ hath promised to send) to thy Heart.

It may be this Paper present is sent on Embassy, from Heaven, on Purpose, to set thy House in Order, to unty thy Bosom-Knots, to bind the strong Man, and cast him out of thy Doors; that thy Heart may be once again set at Liberty, to serve the Lord thy God in thy general and par∣ticular Calling, whose Service is thy Freedom. What is here sent by this Ambassador of Christ, (who is now the Voice of one crying in a Wilderness) to a weary and heavy laden Soul in this Island; I had rather it should appear to thy Judgment in the serious Reading, and to thy Conscience in the home Application thereof, than from my Opinion of it: Therefore I shall only add (as the Con∣tents of this Letter) certain select Cases, proposed and resolved in the several Paragraphs thereof, as they lye in Order in the Pages following, viz.

• 1. Trouble of Mind in civil Affairs by the secret Injection of religious Thoughts. Page 3.
• 2. From what Spirit, such Suggestions do arise. P. 4.
• 3. How to entertain them when they crowd in. Page 8.
• 4. Concerning the not being humbled for sinful Dis∣tractions that hinder and interrupt the Spiritual Perfor∣mance of holy Duties. Page 12.
• 5. How a Christian, may be said to be under the Covenant of Works. Page 16.
• 6. How to conceive aright of that Mystery of My∣steries, the blessed Persons in the Trinity. Page 19.
• 7. The Soul's Aptness to go to God immediately in holy Duties, without taking Christ Jesus by the Hand. Page 22.
• 8. The End and Use of absolute Promises. Page 28.
• 9. How to apply absolute Promises to thy self, though they are made indefinitely without Condition. Page 27. & 31.
• 10. A notable Discovery of a secret Unwillingness in the Soul, to seek God in the strictest solemn Servi∣ces, before it entereth into them; Weariness of them, while they last; and a Gladness, when they are ended. Page 39.
• 11. A sound Confutation of that Heretical Arminian Tenet; viz. That the Strength of Grace is to be got rather by Argumentation, than inward Communication and Influence arising from Union with CHRIST. Page 42.
• 12. The Experiences of this tried Servant of Christ, (who is the Pen-man hereof) how he was cured of athestical Thoughts: whether they did wear out, or whether by the dint of Arguments, they were ration∣ally overthrown. Page 44.
• 13. Lastly, whether those Changes, which a Child of GOD hath sometimes, and those Movings of Spirit are caused by a natural Temper, or GOD'S Spirit. Page ••0.

All which select Cases, (and many more, that collater∣ally issue from their Sides) are judiciously resolved with much Perspicuity and Brevity in these few Sheets, by the only Judge of all Controversies; the two-edged Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.

Thus humbly beseeching thee, to read over this Epistle of Christ to thee, with the same Spirit of Love, and of a sound Mind, which indited every Line in it:

I do desire to leave thee at the Throne of Grace, in the Arms of Christ, with the Father of all Comfort; that thou mayest receive the Peace of God which pas∣seth all Understanding, and be crowned with Joy un∣speakable and full of Glory.

I subscribe my self, Friend, Thine in any spiritual Furtherance of thy Faith, William Adderley.

Dated from Charter-house in London, Feb. 1. 1647,

Christian Reader.

BEing desired to peruse and give our Opinion of the Resolutions in this Letter now presented to thy View, We must confess, they appeared to us very precious. For we have seldom seen Acuteness, Profoundness, and Godliness, so eminently, equally, and happily matched. There are in Christ's School divers Forms, Elementaries, and Men of exercised Wits. The Scholar proposing these Cases was no Puny, and he was happy in meeting with a Teacher so able for Resolution. Therefore, who ever reads and heeds, will not repent of his Labour. But the more knowing the Reader is, and the more experienced in the Ways of Christ, the more De∣light may he take in, and the more profit may he reap by these pious and profound Resolutions. So we are

Thine in Christ Jesus John Geree, And William Greenhill.

March 27. 1648.

CORRECTIONS.

Page.	Line.	Read.
8.	17.	banish from you
9.	4, 5.	Your Friends have had the Welcome and have lodged
12.	13, 14.	involuntary
20.	16.	(as Election
48.	21, 22.	Again to your Complaint,

[And I suppose this Paragraph should come in at the End of Page 18.]

Dear Sir,

I Dare not multiply many words in acknow∣ledging and professing my own unfitness and insufficiency to yield your loving and most welcome Letter, that satisfaction which both Yourself desire, and it deserves: Nei∣ther yet will I be so unfaithful to you; seeing your expectation puts me to reply: Neither ought I (I think) be so unserviceable to JESUS CHRIST, who in you, and by you, beckens to me to take this call to write to you, and not to neglect so fair a season; seeing especially it may be possible my dying Letter to you, before I depart from hence, and return to him, as not knowing but our last disasters and Sea-straits, of which I wrote to you, may be but preparations for the execution of this next approaching voyage. Yet our eyes are to the hills, and our desires are your prayers: and at this time my endeavour shall be in respect of your self, to break open that light to you, and to prepare it to you, with that brevity I may, and with what plainness I am able: beseeching the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who must be when all fails, the wonderful

Counsellor, to give you the spirit of revela∣tion; and that after you have suffered, a while by these outward temptations, doubts, fears, desertions, distractions, which the Letter men∣tions, he would make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, and settle you. And this I verily think will be the unexpected, yet happy, joy∣ful and most glorious end of them: For since I have observed and seen the lamentable ruins of the soul, and seeming graces of many men, by being rock'd asleep in a quiet still calm, easy performance of duties; without such a∣waking temptations and tumults within, which it self complains of: I say since I have ob∣served what a deal of mud is in the bottom of such standing Pools, and what a deal of filth is in such Motes, which are inwardly at ease, and not emptied from vessel to vessel; next unto the donation of the Lord Jesus to a man, I have accounted such tumultuous heart-storms and uproars, together with the fruitful strange effects of them, the second mercy. For I never saw that man kept from secret putrefaction and corruption, that was not usu∣ally salted with such temptations, (especially in a Christian's first Apprentiship) which usually preserve him entire till death. And there∣fore, Dear Sir, faint not; for Jesus Christ will raise a world of blessings out of your pre∣sent Chaos and confusions. But I make haste to answer, before your reply to my first Letter. Your complaints are many.

CASE I. Of ordering the Thoughts in Civil Employments.

Your first Trouble is, concerning your dis∣turbances in Civil affairs, by the secret injection of religious thoughts; so that you know not how to follow the one, without hazard of grieving the spirit, and breaking your peace, in not maintaining and nourishing at the same time the other: and hence being drawn to go two ways at the same time, which you cannot well do, your heart is disquieted, and your peace much interrupted.

This of yours, puts me in mind of the com∣plaint of an honest, yet plain man, to an able Minister once, who in bewailing his condi∣tion to him, among other miseries, this was not the least; (viz) that he was exceedingly troubled with good thoughts, so that he could not follow his place, unless very oft he did stand still and pray, for fear of grieving the Spi∣rit, (as he thought) and losing his season of being heard in heaven: For said Conscience oft unto him, How dost thou know but this may be thy accepted time, and if thou dost not take it, it may be thou shalt never have it again? I have forgot the Minister's answer; but I am sure in these complaints you go not alone: I have lately known one very able, wise, and godly, put upon the Rack in these kind of thoughts, by him, that envying God's people's peace, knows how to change himself

into an Angel of light. For it being his usual course in the time of his health, to make a Diary of his hourly life, and finding much be∣nefit by it, he was in conscience prest by the power and delusion of Satan, to make and take the same daily survey of his life in the time of his sickness; by means of which, he spent his enfeebled spirits, cast on fuel to fire his sickness: and had not a friend of his covin∣ced him of his erroneous conscience, mislead∣ing him at that time, he had murderd his body, out of conscience to save his soul, and to preserve his grace. And do you think these were the motions of God's spirit, which like those Locusts, Rev. 9.9, 10, had faces like men, but had tails like Scorpions, and stings in their tails.

Your thoughts I know, are not likely to produce the same effects; although you have the same efficient: and because you say your peace is hereby disturbed by ignorance, as not knowing what to do in the midst of these civil actions and these religious thoughts; I conceive that two things are to be sadly considered of, for the cure of them.

First how to know when such religious pious thoughts come from God's spirit, and when from the Devil transforming himself into an Angel of light; or from a well-melted stirring conscience, yet blind. For when you know they come from God's spirit, you are bound to nourish them; but when not, you are not bound to embrace nor comply with them. Secondly, Learn how your soul is

to behave and carry it self in Civil employments: For when you see how you do, and may ho∣nour God in following them, your spirit will not be so unquiet, if at any time you embrace not the suggestions of the other.

I. For the first briefly; all good motions and thoughts are not the spirit's motions: as may thus appear.

There be three things chiefly by which we may discern the motions, suggestions, and thot's which come from God's spirit: all which concur∣ring together in a good action, or thought, or word (not one alone) will make discovery whether they are from God's spirit or not.

1. If it be suggested for God's ends, its from God's spirit: to act so high as for a super∣natural end, must arise from a supernatural prin∣ciple, which only is God's spirit. Pharisaical actions were for a double selfish end, and hence not from God's spirit, but nature, and their own spirit, 1. To be seen of men, 2. If they did any of them abhor this, yet it was to purchase and gender in their own minds an opinion of holiness before God: and hence Christ gives them this Item, in giving Alms, that they should not let their right hand know what their left hand doth: for many men will do good acts, least they should by the neg∣lect of them, think themselves hypocrites, and so be troubled for them. Christ would have us not to take notice of what we do for such an end.

2. If they be animated and quickned from

God's command, for the higher measure of holiness, for glorious ends, without a warrant from the Word, is the more sordid supersti∣tion. Christ healed the leper: when he char∣ged him with anger to tell no man; he, no question for a good end, published the mira∣cle the more: this was a good motion, but it was sinful in him, being cross to Christ's command. When Christ would have washed Peter's feet, he had many thoughts that came into his head, concerning his own vilenss, and Christ's glory; and had a good end and meaning in his answers; yet his humility crossing Christ's command, the Lord professeth against it and him for it, that he had no part in him, if he should go on in it.

3. God's Spirit sets a man on work in due season: For let the duty be commanded and rightly directed, yet if it be not done in sea∣son, it is not from God's Spirit: Hence Psal. 1. The righteous bring forth fruit in its season: and hence Solomon speaks of words spoken in season, are as apples of Gold: and hence we read in Ecclesiastes, of a time and season for every thing under the Sun. And therefore when there is a season of God's appointing for civil things or business; it is not season now to be molested or perplexed in it, by the injection and evocation of those thoughts which we think to proceed from the Spirit of GOD. I know indeed, that the Spirit of God doth enable a man to do whatever good he doth; but as Grace makes Nature sometimes to serve, so sin∣ful

Nature brings Grace into captivity, (which Paul complains of, Rom. 7.) and makes Grace to serve it. To exhort and reprove another for sin, is from God's spirit that it is done; but to reprove at an unseasonable time, its from sinful corruption, abusing God's grace, and ma∣king Sampson to grind. Its from the excel∣lency of a knife to cut well; but to cut my finger with it when I should be cutting my meat with it ariseth not from the end of the knife, nor from the intention of him that made it; so to think of good things, it is from the spirit, I grant; but to think of them in such a season that God sets you a work to mind and follow other occasions, its from the ene∣my of God's spirit, and your own peace. For as it is a sin to nourish worldly thoughts when God sets you a work in spiritual heavenly em∣ployments; so it is, in some respects, as great a sin to suffer your self to be distracted by spi∣ritual thoughts, when God sets you on work in civil, yet lawful, employments: such thoughts, I conceive, are but the leaven of Monkish holiness, if they divert you from your lawful affairs, when the Lord calls you to fol∣low them. For the Lord never calls you to two divers employments at the same time, un∣less you make the one to be a means to fur∣ther the good of the other; which such pious thoughts in some civil employments do; it be∣ing no piece of Christian wisdom or honesty to turn round in wordly employments so long till by giddiness we fall down, but by secret

steps, ever and anon to look up to heaven and to behold the face of God, to whom only therein we are to approve our selves. But yet it seems your thoughts are so far from being subservient the one to the other, that you are distracted and molested, and your piece interrupted, and your Christian course made troublesome, and an heavy burthen; which surely cannot be by the yoke of Jesus Christ: therefore you must first bring your troubles in this particular to this issue; either you may follow your Civil affairs, and nourish these thoughts as helps to main∣tain your peace, and make you heavenly minded in them, (and if they serve sufficiently to such an end, why are you troubled with them?) or else you cannot follow God comfortably in civil actions, unless you banish from your thoughts which do so miserably distract you; and then why do you fear you shall grieve God's spirit, if at the same time you do not give entertainment to them, the unseason∣ableness of which, speaks plainly they came not from the spirit's suggestions; besides their hindrance of comfortably walking with God, which the Employments themselves can never hinder.

But you will say, when is the season of nou∣rishing such thoughts?

I answer, Entertain those thoughts as, it may be, you have done some friends, who came to you at that time you had business with strangers, whom you love not so well as your friends; you have desired them to stay a

while, until you have done with the other, and then you have returned to your friends, and when the other hath been shut out of the doors, the other hath had the welcome, and hath lodged with you all night; and thus you have grieved neither, but pleased both. It is so in this case, Worldly employments are our strangers, yet they must be spoke with: Reli∣gious thoughts and practices are our friends, these come unto us while God calls us to parley with the other, you cannot speak with both at one time, in one place, without much perlexity: take therefore this course, make much of the good thoughts, but parley not with them till your business is done with strangers; and to∣wards evening, which is your season, set some time apart every day for meditation, and then make them welcome; then consider and ponder well what was suggested to you in the day time, and sift every good thought to the bran, for then is your season, and after that let them sup and lodge with you all night, and keep the house with you every day. And surely when the Lord Jesus shall see what a friend you shall make of his Spirit thus, and how wisely you walk therein, you shall not need to fear any grieving of it, at unseasonable times: nay (I say) you will most fearfully grieve his Spirit, if you parley with the con∣ceived suggestions of it at unseasonable times. What thou dost, do it with all thine heart, saith Solomon. Eccles. 9.

Therefore when you are to pray, confer, or

meditate, do it with all your mind, and all your thoughts, and all your strength. So when God calls you to worldly employments, do them with all your mind and might; and when the season of meditation comes, take it: which glorious ordinance of God, although many christians use it occasionally, and against some good time, or when they have leisure meeting with them, yet to set some time apart for it in a solemn manner every day, and that in conscience as we do for prayer generally, where is the man to be found that does thus? Those men that thus neglect their season of musing and entring into parley with God's spi∣rit daily, may be well said to grieve the spi∣rit: through the neglect of which Ordinance, God's spirit is as much grieved by professors in England, as by any course I know. The Lord awaken us: but I have run too far al∣ready in this first part of my answer.

For the second means, viz. How the soul is to carry it self in civil employments, that so you may not think you do for better, when you listen to good thoughts as you mention.

I say but two things;

1. Learn to follow them out of an aw∣ful respect to the eye, presence, and command of Jesus Christ: and to do what you do in civil businesses, as the work of Christ: When you are riding, or making up breaches between man and man, and then think I am now a∣bout the work of Jesus Christ.

2. Seeing your self thus working in worldly

employments for him, you may easily apprehend that for that time God calls you to them, and you attend upon the work of Jesus Christ in them; that you honour God as much, nay more by the meanest servile worldly act, than if you should have spent all that time in medi∣tation, prayer, or any other spiritual employ∣ment, to which you had no call at that time. It is noted therefore by some of Peter's wives mother, that when Christ had healed her of her fever, she sate not down at table with Christ in communion with him, which, no question, was sweet; but ministred at the ta∣ble, and ran too and fro, and so served him, and acted for him; wherein she shewed more love, and gave him more honour, viz. in that mean service, and in acting for him, than in having communion with him. Now if the Lord would out of his abundant goodness, set the soul in such an acting frame for him, and if it could do its worldly employments, as the work of Christ, and see how greatly it honours Christ in attending on him; Oh what peace should a christian enjoy, notwithstanding all his distractions every day! and how easily would such devout thoughts you speak of, be repell'd like darkness before the light? For the noble∣ness of those good thoughts you speak of pre∣senting themselves against the mean and base outsides of civil affairs, makes you ready to honour the one, when you are call'd to serve the other: but now, by seeing you do the work of Christ Jesus in them, you shall hereby

see a glory in the meanest service you perform in civil affairs, and this will make you cleave unto them. But I have said too much about repelling of good thoughts in these times, where∣in men have so few; though, it may be, little enough to satisfy you.

CASE II. Of being humbled for sinful Distractions.

Your second trouble is this, viz. That your heart is kept from being humbled for sinful distractions, that hinder and interrupt the spiritual performance of holy duties, and that for two reasons: First, Because they be volun∣tary and accidental. Secondly, because they can∣not break the covenant between GOD and your Soul, being but infirmities.

Answ. For the latter clause concerning breach of covenant, together with the other.

1. I say, not only infirmities do not, but the greatest sins cannot make a breach of co∣venant between GOD and the soul that is once really (not nominally) wrapt up in the cove∣nant of grace. Indeed gross scandalous sins, nay infirmities, when they are given way to, and not resisted, may keep the soul from the fruition, for a time, of God's covenant, but never from the eternal jus and right unto it. For as the Habit of faith or grace gives a man a constant right to the promise and cove∣venant, which need ever remains, which habit

ever lasts, I. Jer. 3.9. so the Act of saith or grace gives a man fruition of the cove∣nant and the benefit of the promise. And hence by the acting and venting of some sins, wherein there is 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the neglect of the ex∣ercise of grace, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 that is really in covenant with God, may be deprived of the fruition of it; yet seeing the seed of God, and the ha∣bit of grace ever remains, he cannot by any sin break his covenant: For the covenant of grace is absolute, wherein the Lord doth not only promise the good, but to begin, and per∣fect, and fulfil the condition absolutely, with∣out respect of sin; ex parte creaturae. Indeed if God's covenant of grace did (as that of works) depend upon man to fulfil the condi∣tion, having sufficient grace to fulfil it, then gross sin might well break the covenant: but seeing GOD hath undertaken to fulfil the co∣venant absolutely, notwithstanding all the evils and sins of the soul, no sin can possibly break that knot and covenant, which so firm and re∣solute love hath once knit. And therefore, if this be a good argument, infirmities cannot break covenant: What cause have I to be hum∣bled for them? so as to say, It is thy mercy Lord that I am not consumed for them, (as you write;) you may upon the same ground say so, If the Lord should desert you, or you forsake the Lord, and so fall into the foulest sin, which I suppose corrupt conscience dares not be so bold as to think or allow of.

2. I say the least sins or infirmities do break

the first covenant of works: and hence you do not only deserve, but are under the sentence of death, and curse of God, immediately after the least hair's breadth, swerving from the Law by the smallest sin, and most involuntary ac∣cidental infirmity. According to the tenour of the law, the soul that sinneth shall dy; and, cursed is he that continueth not in all things of the Law, Gal. 3.10. The least sin being, (ex parte objecti) in respect of God against whom it is committed, as horrible and as great as the greatest. For it being an infinite wrong, be∣ing the dishonour of an infinite Majesty, there can be no greater wrong than an infinite one; unless you can imagine a thing greater than that which is infinite: And therefore in this respect, there is as much venom and mischief done against God in the least, as in the greatest sin: And therefore it, and whosoever commits it, deserves death for it, as if they had com∣mitted the foulest sin in the world. And therefore after the least and smallest infirmities, you may from hence see what cause you have freely to be humbled, and to confess for them how worthy you are to be destroyed; yea, even to look upon your self as lying under the sentence of the law and death immediately after the commission of them, and so to mourn bitterly for them.

Object. But you will say, a

Christian that is under the covenant of grace, is not within the covenant of Works, that Bond is can∣celled, the last Will must stand; and there∣fore

he being out of that covenant, no sins of his can be said to break the covenant; for no man can be said to break that law under which he is not, and which he is not bound to keep.

Answ. I answer, every believer has a double being or standing, and so there may be put upon him a double respect.

1. First, he may be considered as united to, and having a spiritual being on Christ; and so it is true, he is under Grace, and the cove∣nant of Grace, and not under the Law, nor the covenant of works; and hence not being under the Law, nor bound to keep it as a covenant of life (though it be a rule of life) no sin can condemn him, there being no con∣demnation to them that are Christ Jesus, Rom. 8.1. But as Christ is above condemnation, and law, and death, and curse, so is he. And this truly understood, is the foundation of a Christian's joy and peace, and glory, every day; yet so, as tho' sin doth not condemn him, yet he has good reason to say, it is mercy, and meer mercy, Lord, that I am not consumed, that I am not condemned. For sin is the same; nay grace and God's love aggravates sin; for to sin against the law, deserves death without recovery; but to sin when grace has received me, and loved me; when the blood of Christ has been shed abundantly, to deliver me from sin; Oh this makes the most secret silent sin a crying one! So that if you do consider this well, you may see what little cause there is to have your

heart rising against the deepest humiliation for the least sin, though you be in Christ, and under grace: For as Daniel, when he was put into the Lions den, had not he cause to won∣der that he was not torn in pieces by them? and why? because it was not from any defect on their parts to tear him in pieces, but from the omnipotent power, and mercy, and grace of his God, that muzzel'd their mouths; so though no Lion can tear, though no sins can hurt or condemn a Christian, as he is consi∣dered in Christ, yet, has not he cause to con∣fess and wonder, and say, Lord, it is thy meer grace and mercy that it is not so? Which is the act of humiliation your letter saith you can hardly come unto; and why? not because God's grace puts any less evil in sin, but be∣cause it is meerly grace that keeps it from spitting that venom which otherwise it would.

2. Secondly, A Christian may be considered in respect of his natural being in himself; and thus he is ever under the Law, and as oft as he sinneth, under the sentence of death, and as the Apostle speaks, by nature even we (justified, quickned) are the children of wrath as well as others. And thus after the least involuntary accidental sin, you may easily see what cause you have to lie down deeply humbled, mourn∣ing under the sentence of death, and God's eternal curse, as a condemned man going to execution, to feel that fire that shall never go out; looking upon your self as you are in your self, a forlorn cast-away every moment; and

this truly understood is the foundation of a Chri∣stian's sorrow, shame, and confusion of face, self-loathing, self-forgetting, self-forsaking, and condemning every day. And, believe it Sir, it is no small Piece of a Christian's skill and work, to put a difference between himself and himself; himself as he is in Christ, and so to joy and triumph; and himself as he is grow∣ing on his first root, and so to sorrow, and loath, and condemn himself: so that, to wind up all that I have said, look upon your self as in Christ, you may say these involuntary in∣firmities do not, shall not, condemn me.

But Lord it is Grace, Grace that it is not so, and this is Evangelical humiliation. Look again upon your self, as you stand on your own bottom, and live in your own nature, and so you may say after the least infirmity, I have now broken a most holy and righteous Law, and therefore I am already condemned: O woe is me, I have already undone my self by mine iniquity: and this is Legal humiliation, which serves for mortification, as the first for vification. I know it is very difficult to bring the heart to acknowledge freely it deserves death after so small an involuntary offence. But when the Lord reveals two things, First, himself in his glory, Secondly, how the least sin strikes him; I perswade my self, the vilest heart can∣not but be forced to confess how just God should be in his severest proceedings against him. And withal consider, the more involun∣tary any sin is, the more strong and natural

it is, and the more natural, the more horrible; as to be a natural Thief is far worse than to be a deliberate thief, who sometimes steals: and therefore, good Sir, take heed of looking no deeper, nor seeing no further than the bare act, and unvoluntariness and accidentalness, and suddenness of your infirmities: for if you do, you look through the wrong end of the glass, and they will appear so small, that you will find it a very tough work to bring your heart consentively, to say, (if I may say and use your own phrase) It is thy mercy Lord that I am not consumed for them: But look upon them as indeed they are, in respect of that in∣finite glory you strike, doing the greatest mis∣chiefs to God by them, and (which makes them the viler) as they are so strong you can∣not remove them, and so horrible as that it is natural to you to commit them, &c; and surely you will not through grace, find such thoughts haunt you long: Not but that they will be, haply, rising and tempting, but never alway vexing and prevailing. Satan's ground reaching as far as the minds of God's people; and therefore so far he may come, and there he may walk; (for he came into the mind of innocent Adam, nay Jesus Christ, by his suggesting temptations:) but the heart is Christ's peculiar possession and purchase; and if he shall still there offer to come in and vex you, and prevail against you, and to lodge his suggestions this or any other way with you, you have Law and Christ on your side, by this little light now given you, to cast him out.

CASE. III. Of conceiving aright of the Holy Trinity.

The third thing that troubles you, is the dis-ranking of the Persons in the Trinity: For though you think the Holy Ghost is God, yet you have not so high a repute of him, as of the Father and the Son, because the Son ad∣dresseth himself to God the Father in all his prayers and acknowledgments, in a more im∣mediate manner than unto the Holy Ghost; and therefore you would know if the word Father (as in the Lord's Prayer) includes not the Unity in Trinity.

To this briefly consider three things.

1. Without all question, the same God which lies under that relative property of Father, is the same God with the God-head of the Son, and the God-head of the Holy Ghost, there be∣ing not three Gods: and therefore the God-head of the Son and Spirit, are not excluded, but included in the God-head of the Father, when we look upon the Father as God, in the Lord's Prayer, or any where else.

2. But secondly, the Father as Father, is never taken for the same Holy Ghost in Scripture; nor the Son as Son, is taken for the Father; nor the Holy Ghost as Holy Ghost, is at any time taken for the Son: For it is a rule in Theologie, though the res substrata, the thing that lies under the Relative property (viz. the God-head) of every person, be common and

communicated; yet the same God-head consi∣dered as clothed with his Relative property (as Father, Son and Spirit) it is not common, but peculiar. For the God-head of the Father as Father, is not the God-head of the Son as Son, &c.

3. Hence it follows, that when Christ addres∣seth himself to the Father as Father in Scrip∣ture, it is not because He is either a diverse or greater God than the Holy Ghost, but it is for two other reasons.

1. Because the Father as Father, received primarily the wrong that sin did against his work of creation: For the Father being the first person in order and creation, the first transcient act as (election and reprobation were the first immanent); hence this work is atri∣buted chiefly to God the Father, in respect of our orderly apprehension: and hence man sin∣ning then when he was only made, this is chiefly attributed to be against the Father, be∣cause his work appeared to be chiefly there; and not against the Son, for his work chiefly appears in redemption, he being the second Person, and this the second main and wonder∣ful work; neither against the Holy Ghost, for his work chiefly appears to us in application, being the third Person, and this the third main act that ever God will do, or show forth to the world in this life. Hence God the Fa∣ther receiving to our apprehension, the wrong in creation by sin, He is the Person that is to be satisfied, and not the Holy Ghost. And

hence Jesus Christ, in all his prayers has a most special eye to Him, and not to the Holy Ghost (as Holy Ghost) because He came into the world, by his death, and intercession, and strong cries to satisfie God the Father, and not God the Holy Ghost as a third Person. And hence it is said, 1. John 2.1, 2. If any sin, we have an Advocate with God the Father, (not God the Holy Ghost) because He was, to our apprehen∣sion, the Person wronged: and hence we are, after sins committed, chiefly to eye the Father in our prayers, and to go to him for pardon with our Advocate with us; because to whom of∣fence is chiefly offered, from him chiefly par∣don and reconciliation is to be expected.

2. Therefore Christ addresseth himself chiefly in his prayers to God the Father, because he is the original and first cause of all good; because he is the first Person in order of subsisting, and therefore first too in the manner of conveying. I know the God-head is the original of all good: but consider the Persons one with ano∣ther, and so the Father, is ever the first in ope∣ration, as the Holy Ghost is the last in con∣summation; for all good comes from the Father, James 1.17, through the Son by the Holy Ghost. And hence in all our prayers we are to look for all good from the Father, for his Son's sake, to be conveyed us by the Holy Ghost: and hence it is said, John 6.10. No man comes to me but whom the Father draws: Why? It is the im∣mediate office and work of the Holy Ghost to draw and apply the soul unto Christ: why then

is it said, Unless the Father draw? The reason is, because that which was perfected and con∣summated by the Holy Ghost, was intentionally and by way of purpose and decree begun originally by the Father: and this is that which Christ's words have chiefly reference unto, viz, the Father through the Son by the Holy Ghost draws.

But I have waded too far in this Divinity, the clear knowledge of which is reserved for us in heaven: But thus much to satisfie you. Yet the word Father in the Lord's Prayer, I conceive under correction, as it doth not exclude any person of the God-head, so its chiefly set down there, not so much to denote the Person of the Father, as the Affection of God as a Fa∣ther to us his Sons by Christ: which we are to believe in our first approaching to our prayers, to be as, nay to transcend the affection of any Father to his Son; when we come to call upon him for those six things which the Petitions set down for those three ends, Kingdom, Power, and Glory, which the Prayer concludes withal.

CASE. IV. Of going to GOD immediately.

Your fourth trouble is your aptness to go to God immediately, especially when his graces are most striving in his ordinances, contrary to that of Christ, Ye believe in God believe also in me.

Answ. So indeed it is usual for religious na∣ture often to out-run and get the start of grace;

as it appears in many other, so in this case you put. Look as it is with every man when God awakens him effectually, he first seeks to his kitchin physick to save himself by his duties, praying, mourning, reforming, endeavouring, re∣penting, working, before he will seek out to the Physician, and to Christ to save him: Be∣cause it was natural to Adam to seek to live by his working, it is natural to every Son and branch of that root, to seek to save himself by doing as well as he can, or as God gives him the strength and grace: So it is here. It was natural to Adam to depend upon, and go to God immediately, as a creature to a Creator, as a Son to go nakedly to God as a Father: Christ was not then known nor seen: so it is natural to every man when rectified Nature is stirred up, to go immediately to God. It is grace in the second Covenant that reveals and draws to Jesus Christ, and to God by Christ, Heb. 7.25.

For cure of this distemper, ponder but these three things.

1. Clearly convince the soul that the immor∣tal, invisible, and most holy God, that dwelleth in an unapproachable light, has set out himself to be seen, or made himself only visible in Jesus Christ; so that he would have no man look upon him any other ways, than as he has re∣vealed himself in his Son: In whom (though in all other creatures his vestigia and footsteps are to be seen) as he is God, the face of God is to be seen; which no creature is able to behold,

ubt there, being the brightness of his glory, and the express Image of his Person, Heb. 1.3. And as he is man, the very heart of God, both in respect of Affection, and Will is to be seen; So that in and through Jesus Christ, especially his hu∣man nature, the glory of the great God breaks out like the Sun through the clouds most bright∣ly, in respect of us; and therefore in and through his human nature we are only to behold God, in whom all that a Christian desires to know, is to be seen, which is the Face and Heart of so dear a Friend, 2. Cor. 4.6. Joh. 14.9, 10. For we know by too lamentable experience, how the whole world vanishing in their smoaky thoughts of the glory of God, as he is considered in him∣self, and not able to conceive or retain the know∣ledge of him; did hence invent and set up Ima∣ges as fit objects for their drunken staggering understanding to fasten upon, and to be limited with; and hence adored God before these, (as our Popish Hypocrites do before the Altar) and in these and at these, as Papists do in respect of their Images. Hence the Lord to cure this inveterate natural malady, hath in the second Per∣son, united himself to man Christ Jesus; through whom we are both able to our everlasting won∣derment to see him, and also here bound only to behold him; who as he is a fit handle for our faith, so he is a fit object for our weak minds to behold the glory of the most high God in. Wherefore then do you offer to go unto God without Christ, when as you are not so much as to look upon God, but as he appears in Christ?

Is not the human nature of the Lord Jesus more easie to be seen and conceived of, than the in∣visible unlimited eternal God-head?

2. See evidently that there is not any dram or drop of God you have, especially in God's ordinances, but it issues from the blood, and is purchased by the intercession, and delivered unto you by the hand of Jesus Christ. Ephes. 1.7, Hebr. 7.25. John 5.22. You should never have heard the sound of the gospel, nor ever have had a day of Patience, nor ever have heard of God's ordinances to find him in; nor ever have been comforted, quickned, enlarged, affected by God's Ordinances, were it not for Jesus Christ; the efficacy of whose blood, and power of whose glorious intercession, doth at the very instant you feel any good in God's Ordinances, prevail with God the Father for what you feel: For the Father loveth the Son, and has put all things into his hands, Joh. 3.35; that all men might honour the Son; Joh. 5.22, 23. all the three Persons plot∣ting chiefly for the honour of the second: so that you may see, nay you are bound to believe, at the time you feel your heart savingly affected in any ordinance now; the Lord Jesus, who is at the right hand of God in heaven, who is now in his glory, now he remembring me a poor worm on earth, now I feel the fruit of his death. O what a miserable forlorn wretch had I been, were it not for Jesus Christ? Mercy could never have helped, enlightned, comforted, quickned, assured, enlarged me; and Justice could never have relieved my dead, bloody, pe∣rishing

lost Soul, had it not been for Jesus Christ; whose Spirit, power, grace, comfort, presence, sweetness, I taste, drink, and am sa∣tisfied abundantly with, and now do enjoy.

Oh Sir, methinks the sad meditation of this, should make you, in all God's ordinances, where you are apt to say you go immediately to God, to hasten suddenly in your thoughts, affections, praises, to Jesus Christ. Nay, methinks you should speedily have your heart elevated and lifted up to Jesus Christ, and say, I receive this, and taste this from Jesus Christ. Oh, but this is but a taste of the honey-comb with the end of my rod; and if this presence of Christ's Spirit I feel now be so sweet, what is Himself then?

3. Labour for increase of love and familiarity with Jesus Christ, by taking notice of him, by coming often to him, by musing daily on his love, as on a fresh thing, banishing slavish false fears of his forgetfulness of you, and want of everlasting love towards you: and then you know love will carry you speedily to him: amor meus pondus meum. Nay, grant that you have been a stran∣ger to Christ, yet restore the love of Christ to life again in your soul; and when you come to his ordinances, where he dwells, your Soul will make its first enquiry for him; neither will it be satisfied till it has seen him, as we do them we love, towards whom we have been greatest strangers.

CASE V. Of applying the absolute Promises.

Your fifth trouble is, you know not how to apply absolute Promises to your self, as in Heb. 8, because they are made indefinitely without condition. Conditional Promises you say you can, if you can find the qualification that gives you right to the good of the promise within you.

Answ. This useful fruitful question, how to ap∣ply absolute promises to ones particular, deserves a larger time and answer, than now in the midst of perplexities, I am able, yet willing, to give. For when the Lord saith absolutely without con∣dition, that he will take away the stony heart, and he will put his fear into his people's hearts, &c, and these kind of promises are made to some, not to all, to those only whom the Lord will, and in general to his people; Hereupon the Souls of many Christians, especially such as question God's love towards them, are most in suspence: and therefore when they complain of the vile∣ness of their hearts and strength of their lusts, let any man tell them that the Lord has under∣taken in the Second covenant, to heal their back∣slidings, and to subdue their iniquities; they will hereupon reply, it is true, he has promised indeed to do thus for some absolutely, though they have no good in them, but I that feel so vile a heart, so rebellious a nature, will he do this for me, or no? And thus the Soul floats above water, yet fears it shall sink at last, notwithstanding all that God

has said. I will answer therefore briefly these two things in general.

• 1. I shall shew you to what end, and for what use and purpose God has made absolute promises, not only to them that be for the present his peo∣ple, but to them that in respect of their estates and condition are not.
• 2. I shall shew you how every Christian is to make use of them, and how and when he ought to apply them. For the first of these.

I. First, I conceive, that as in respect of God himself, there are many ends which I shall not mention, as being needless; so in respect of man there are principally these two ends for which the Lord has made absolute promises.

1. To raise up the Soul of a helpless, sinful, cursed, lost sinner in his own eyes, to some hope, at least, of mercy and help from the Lord. For thus usually every man's Soul is wrought, to whom the Lord doth intend grace and mercy; he first turns his eyes inward, and makes him to see he is stark naught, and that he has not one dram of grace in him, who thought himself rich, and wanting nothing before; and conse∣quently, that he is under the curse and wrath of God for the present, and that if the Lord should but stop his breath, and cover his face, and take him away, which he may easily do, and this to be feared he will, that he is undone forever. Hereupon the Soul is awakened and falls to his kitchen physick, as I spake before, prays, and hears, and amends, and strives to grow better, and to stop up every hole, and to amend it self of

every sin; but finding it self to grow worse and worse, and perceiving thereby that he doth but stir, and not cleanse the puddle, and that it is not amending of nature that he must attain to, but he must believe, and make a long arm to Hea∣ven, and apprehend the Lord Jesus, (which so few know, or ever shall enjoy) and hereby quench the wrath of God; I say, finding he cannot do thus, no, nor no means of themselves can help him to this, hereupon he is forsaken of all his self-wisdom and of all his vain hopes, and now sits down like a desolate widow, comfortless, and sorrowful, and thinks there is no way but death and hell, and the wrath of a displeased God to be expected. And if any come and tell this Soul, of God's mercy and pity to sinners; Ay, saith he, it's true, he is even infinitely merciful unto them who are rent from their sins, and that can believe; but that I cannot do, and am sure shall never be able for to do; and therefore what cause have I but to lie down in my sorrow, and to expect my fatal stroke every moment? Reply again upon this Soul, and tell him, that though he cannot believe, or loosen his heart from sir, yet that the Lord has promised to do it, that he will subdue all his iniquity, and he will pardon all his sin, and that he will cause men to walk in his ways, &c; True, saith the Soul again, he will do thus for his own people, and for them he has chosen, but I never had dram of grace in my heart, and there is no evidence that the Lord is mine own, or that I am his: Here again the Soul lies down, until the Lord discovers to the

Soul that he will do these things for some that have no grace, or never had grace; for these pro∣mises were made to such.

Hereupon the Soul thinks thus; These promi∣ses are made for some that are filthy; for why should God pour clean water upon them? for some that be hard-hearted; for why should he promise to take away the stony heart from them? &c: and if unto some such, and I being such a one, why may not the Lord possibly intend and include me, seeing he has not by his promise ex∣cluded nor shut me out? Indeed I dare not say he will, but yet how do I, or men, or Angels know, but yet I may be one? Hereupon Hope is raised to life again: seeing God has undertaken the work for the vilest, it is possible he may do it for me, now when I am vile and can do nothing for my self. And thus you may see the first end and use of absolute promises, to be as it were, twigs to uphold the sinking Spirits of hopeless, helpless, distressed Souls.

2. The Second end and use of them is this; To create and draw out faith in Jesus Christ in the promises. For as the Law begets Terror, so the promises beget Faith. Now no conditional promise firstly begets Faith; because he that is under any condition of the Gospel, in that man there is a presupposed faith. It's God's absolute promise that firstly begets faith; for Faith is not assurance, but the coming of the whole Soul to Christ in a Promise, John 6.35: And then the Soul believes in Christ, when it comes to Christ: Now this God works in the Gospel. (1) The Soul is

raised up by Hope: And being raised, it (2) comes to Christ, which is Faith, by vehement unutterable desire: And being come to him it (3) Embraceth Christ by Love: and thus the match is made, and the everlasting knot is tied.

Now as you have heard, the absolute promise works hope of relief from Christ: and if it works hope, it also works a desire, or coming to Christ by desire. Oh! that thou Lord wouldst honour thy grace, thy power, thy love, thy promise, in helping me a poor cast-away! And thus Faith is created, as it were, by this absolute promise: for it cannot but move the heart of any one that ever felt his want, to cry mightily to the Lord for help, if he has any hope, seeing the Lord has pro∣mised to do it for some. Oh saith the Soul, that thou wouldst do it for me! And surely, were it not for this absolute promise of God, no Soul would desire, because he would have no hope to be saved, or to seek for any thing as from the hands of God. And thus you see to what end God makes and to what use a Christian may put these absolute Promises.

II. For the second thing, viz. How and when a Christian may apply these Promises.

I answer, every Christian is either,

• 1. Within Covenant with God, and knows it; or
• 2. Within covenant with God, and knows it not; or
• 3. Out of covenant indeed, for his present state and condition, yet he is in fieri, or making towards it.

1. If he be in Covenant, and knows it, then you may easily perceive how and when he ought to apply promises unto himself: For he may boldly conclude; If God be his God, then all the Promises of God shall be made good unto him; if he be a Son of God he may boldly chal∣lenge at all times at the hands of God, (nay, in some respects, at the hands of Justice it self) the fulfilling of God the Father's will delivered in the several Legacies of the promise bought by the blood, and sealed by the same blood of Jesus Christ, that they may and shall be made good unto him: that is clear.

2. If he be in Covenant, and knows it not, and questions hence whether God is his or not, and consequently, whether the promises belong unto him; then this rule is to be observed: let him so sue and seek for the good of the absolute pro∣mise until by reflecting upon his own acts, herein he perceive himself adorned and dignified with the qualification of some conditional promise; and then if he can find the condition or quali∣fication within himself, then as you judge and write, he may conclude, that the conditional promise belongs to him; and if one promise, then all God's promises, and therefore that abso∣lute promises are his own, because at least one conditional promise is. For no unregenerate man is within the compass of any one conditional promise of grace, unless you will say he is under the everlasting love of God; the Promises of grace being but the mid-way between the eternal purpose and decree of love, and the glorious cer∣tain

execution of that love in time. The pro∣mise being the break-day of God's most glorious love, which must shine out in time.

Object. But here you will say is the difficulty, viz, how I should so seek for the good of abso∣lute promises, as therein to find my self within the compass of some conditional one?

I answer, It is done chiefly by three acts.

1. By being humbly contented, that seeing the Lord has absolutely Promised, to work and do all for the Soul he intends to save, even when it can do nothing for it self, and that he has taken the work into his own hands, so that it is his pro∣mise, offer, office and honour to do all; that therefore you lie down, not sluggishly, but hum∣bly at the feet of God, and contented to have him to be your God, and for ever to be disposed of in any thing by God, if he will fulfil his cove∣nant in you; contented to part with any sin, if he will rend it from you; contented to know any truth, if he will reveal it to you; contented to do any duty, if he will enable you; contented to shine bright with all his glorious graces, if he will create and maintain them in you; contented to bear any evil, if he will lay his hand under your head, and thereunto strengthen you; and so see∣ing the Lord promised to undertake the work for some, put out the work, and put over your Soul, to him, that he would fulfil the good that his covenant promiseth in your self. Now when you do thus, which, no question, you and many a Soul doth, many times reflect upon this act, and see if you cannot or may not find your self by

it under the condition of some conditional pro∣mise; and if you do, then are you bound to be∣lieve all God's promises are and will be Yea and Amen unto you. Now that you do so by this act, it self speaks plainly: For how many condi∣tional promises are made to the meek? Blessed are the meek, Mat. 5; and to the humble, whom God will raise up? For this is not saving Meek∣ness, to be quietly contented to be or to do, or to bear any thing that the Lord will have me from mine own strength and feeling; but to be, to do, or to bear any thing that the Lord will 〈◊〉〈◊〉 me, if the Lord enable me. Many a stout heart would gladly have Christ; but if he cannot have him in his own terms, viz, Christ and his lusts, Christ and the world too, or by his own strength and power; he will have none of him, but desperately casts him away, and saith, what shall I look after him any more? I cannot pray, I cannot believe, I cannot break this vile and un∣ruly will, this stony adamant heart: thus the pride of a man's heart works. Now he that is truly meekned and humbled, he is contented gladly to have God his God, and Christ his Re∣deemer, and that upon Jesus Christ, his own terms. First, on his own covenant: now what is that? why it is this, I will give you the good, and work in you the condition too; I will give you my self, and therefore will not stick to give you an eye to see, and a heart to receive too. This is the covenant: now hereupon a hum∣bled Soul accepts of Christ according to his co∣venant, on his own terms thus, viz, Upon the

condition Lord, that thou wilt humble me, teach me, perswade me, cause me to believe, and in every thing to honour thee; Lord, I am con∣tented gladly and joyfully to have thee; do there∣fore what thou wilt with me. Just as a sick man tells his Physician, who comes not to him on these terms, If you will make your self half whole, then I will cure you, and do the rest for you; but being utterly unable to cure, or to know how to cure himself, he tells his Physici∣an; I am content you should begin and perfect the cure, and so honour your skill and love in me, to be contented to take any thing if you will give it me, and if I offer to resist that, you should bind me, and so do any thing with me.

2. The second act is, earnestly to long and come to Christ, to cleave unto Jesus Christ by fervent and ardent desire, that he would make good those ab∣solute promises to you, seeing that they are made to some, and that they do not exclude you. For when you ponder well, and see what won∣derful great things the Lord promiseth to some, whose heart cannot but be stirred up to say, as that woman in another case, Lord, give me of that water to drink! and as they in the fifth of John, Lord evermore give us that bread! Now doing this, reflect upon this Second act, and see if unto it no conditional promise belongs, and you shall find an affirmative answer from the word. For what is this longing after the good, not of some (which many hypocrites do) but of all the promises, but that which the Scripture calls Thirsting? who are commanded to come

and drink of the waters of life freely, Isa. 55.1, 2; and Hungring? to which all good things are promised, Mat. 5.6; and Coming to Christ, as I spake even now? who has given this as the first fruit of eternal election, and which kind of peo∣ple he will never cast away, John 6.37. Now when you see these promises belonging unto you, why dare you not conclude but that all these ab∣solute ones are your's also?

3. The third act is this; Seeing God hath promised absolutely such good things in the Se∣cond Covenant, but hath not set down the time when, or how much grace he will give, and see∣ing only he can help; therefore look up, and wait upon the Lord in the use of all known means, until he makes good what he hath promised to do, and perform, and work for you. Say, as beggars that have but one door to go to for bread, if none hear, or hearing help not, lay themselves down at the door, and say; I will wait here, I am sure I perish if I go away, or quarrel with them in the house because they help me not so soon as I would; and therefore I will wait, for it may be their compassions may move them as they pass by to help me. So do you. Many a Soul comes and longs for the good of the Promises; but if the Lord do not speedily help him, he goes with discouragements, fears, and discontents, or despair, or sin away, and saith one of these two things, either I shall never have help, or I come not truly, and hence I feel no help. Oh remem∣ber that bread is only to be had at the door, to be distributed when the Lord seeth need, not

when we would, or think we have need; and therefore wait here and say, if I perish here, I will at the feet of God, and at the feet of the promises and covenant of God, &c.

Now reflect upon this act, and see if you may not find some conditional promise annexed unto it; which surely you may, and I will name you but two, Isa. 40.29, 30, 31; and Isa. 64.4. And if the conditional promise belongs to such a Soul, you may easily conclude the absolute pro∣mises are your own: and the chiefest use you are to make of them when you know them that they are your own, is to press God to make them good daily to you; and to believe as verily and really, as if you had the performance of them, that they shall. It may be you will ask me, How shall I know whether I have these conditions truly in me? I answer, sincerity is a very wit∣nessing grace; the frequent meditation of the Scripture will give you much light, to judge of the sincerity of them, and that which Saint Paul speaks, 1. Cor. 2.12, I say unto you, We have not received the spirit of the World, but of God, whereby we know, (or may know) the things that are freely given to us of God.

3. If he be out of the covenant, but yet God be∣gins to work with some common work of his grace upon him; all that I would say to him, and all the use he can make of such absolute promises, consists in these things;

1. Let him consider the Freeness of God's promise, whereby he may be stirred up to con∣ceive some hope it may be made good to him in

time. For the promise is very free and large, ex∣cluding none (except those that sin unpardonably) be their sins and natures never so vile before God; and yet not including any by name, for that is in the conditional promise: And hence such an one is to make this use of it; Who knows but the Lord may have pity upon me in time? and so hang thy hope upon him.

2. Let him consider the Worth and Price of God's promise, bought by blood, and for which some men would give a thousand worlds for the benefit and comfort of; and hereby raise up his heart, as by the Freeness of it to hope, so by the Price of it to esteem of the thing promised, above pearls, and all the honour and pomp of the world.

3. Let him consider the Fulness of the pro∣mise, which is a plaister as big as his sore, just answerable to all his wants, nay infinitely more large than his wants. And surely these three things will draw his heart to long for the pro∣mise; and then you know what is conditionally promised and bequeathed to them that thirst: For similitude is the ground of love. Now when the Fulness of the Promise is seen, there will appear such a sutableness and fitness of the pro∣mise to his soul, that he cannot but long for it.

Thus much for the fifth trouble.

CASE VI. Of Unwillingness to and Weariness in solemn Services.

Your sixth trouble set down in two heads, put into one for brevity, viz secret unwillingness to seek God in the strictest solemn services, before you enter into them; weariness of them while they last; and gladness when they are gone: the reasons which you mention are, partly fear of not using them aright, together with melancholy, and lastly, the strictness of them.

Answ. It is very true, there is abundance of wildness in our hearts, which naturally seek to have their liberty abroad, and cannot endure to be pent in the narrow room of holy performances, extraordinary duties, &c, no more than children can be pent up from their play. And hence we are weary of them, and glad to think of their departures and ends. And truly it is one of the most grievous miseries that a holy heart can feel, and I beseech the Lord of heaven and earth to keep you, and me, and all his for ever, while we are here in our valley, under the sense of such distempers, as our greatest misery. And there∣fore me thought it was a solemn sweet speech of an honest man to his friend; who seeing him oppressed with such distempers as you mention, and perceiving him to droop under them, he came chearfully to him, and suddenly said unto him;

I can tell you good news, the best that ever you heard, viz, Assoon as ever you are in Hea∣ven,

you shall serve Christ without weariness:

Which words well thought on, revived the man. That which I would speak, with as much tender∣ness of compassion as I am able, to you, I refer to these things.

1. That a child of God is never usually weary of the duty, but rather of his vile heart, to think of, and to look upon; that in the duty Christ's yoke is easie, and his burthen light, to him that takes it on his neck and puts his Soul under it. The duty nakedly considered in it self, is glorious in his eyes, and sweet to his Soul; and hence sometimes never well, but when he considers his dead, blind, barren, and senseless heart, that he is to carry to the duty, and that he fears, and has felt will abide with him in the duty: Oh! this grieves, here the Soul pincheth. An Hypo∣crite is weary of the duty: a child of God re∣joiceth in it; but he is weary of his sin, and unsavouriness and weariness in the duty. I per∣swade my self Sir, that you may soon mistake your spirit herein; you think you are unwilling to come to the duty; and are weary of it, when indeed, it is your glory, joy, and love; but it is because you fear you can do it no better, that troubles you, that you have such a vile heart in it. And if your trouble be from hence, the good Lord increase it in you daily: and withal, bless the Lord, and say,

Lord though I am weary of my vile heart, in these days of humiliation, in these Sabbaths; yet I bless thee, the days and duties themselves thou knowest are dear unto me; It is not Lord because I am weary

of thy word, but because I can do it no better, I am weary of my self, and this vile heart:

Here is much love in such a spirit to the Lord. And believe it, Sir, your love wants not it's re∣compences; and remember that the Lord respects you not according to your duties done, but ac∣cording to your love in them, and to them. And therefore those duties you are ashamed to own, the Lord will not be ashamed to crown.

2. Consider you must and shall be baited with these distempers of heart, sometimes more, and sometimes less, as long as you live. It is part of Paul's body of death which he must carry with him, till he come to bury himself.

3. Those means which may help you to be freed from them (a little at least) are these among many.

1. Be but truly and really, not by fits and dark∣ly, sensible of them: men in deep miseries, are not unwilling to be helped out.

2. Judge ye not rigorously of God, as though he were a bloody austere God; as he did of his master, whose talent he had, and hence never improved it: but look upon God as having a Fa∣ther's heart and affection towards you in the meanest and greatest performances; which is double, either to give you strength to do what you cannot, (I can do all things through Christ;) or having come to him for it, to accept of what you would do for him, as if it were done: And this will make you joy in the poorest performance, that though it be never so full of vileness, yet the Lord out of his fatherly love, accepts of it as glo∣rious.

3. Renew morning and evening by sad and solemn meditation, the sense of God's love to you in Christ, and in every duty that he sets you about; and love will love and like the yoke, and make the commandments that they shall not be grievous to you.

Thus I have briefly done with your new troubles; which you mention, you say, because you may not have the like opportunity of writing again. It may be so, and therefore I have desired to satisfie you, which I beseech the Lord himself to do.

Next you come to reply to my first Letter, of which I have kept no copy, as I never did of any, and hence may and do forget what I writ then unto you. So much light as your Letter lends me to bring things to mind, I will gladly take, and be more brief in answer.

QUESTION I. Strength of Grace how obtained?

You find the strength of grace to be got in you rather by argumentation, than inward communica∣tion and influence arising from the union to Christ: And this troubles you.

Answ. To which I answer these three things.

1. That as the old sinful nature is communi∣cated from Adam the first to us, without any argumentation; so the new nature, which is the food, foundation, and plot of all grace, is dif∣fused

into us by the second Adam when we are united to him, without argumentation. It is only by divine operation. The Lord leave not me, nor any friend I have, to a naked Arminian Illumination and Perswasion.

2. That to the increase of those habits, and drawing out the acts of the new creature, the Lord is pleased to use moral and rational perswa∣sions; as in the instance you gave, Christ died for us, then hence the love of Christ constrains: But remember withal, it is not the bare medi∣tation, or strength of reason or perswasion, that elicits such divine and noble acts in the heart and affection; but it is the blood of Christ sprinkling these serious mediations, that makes them work such graces in the soul; which I might shew at large: which blood is the salve, though argumen∣tation is the cloth or leather to which it sticks, and by which it is applied; but from such lea∣ther comes no vertue, all of it is from the blood of Christ, which by argumentation heals the Soul. For if it were nakedly in the argumentation to stir your heart, and to work strength of grace; what should be the reason that sometimes you are no more moved by all your argumentations, than a mountain of brass is by the winds? why should the same truth affect you at one time, and not at another, when you are as fitly disposed to be affected as at the first? Therefore consider it is not your reason and argumentation, but Christ's blood that doth all, by as admirable, and yet secret operation.

3. Your union to Christ on your part in begun,

and partly wrought by the understanding: and hence the good that you get by it at any time, it is from your union, or part of it at least.

QUESTION II. Of spiritual Union.

Again you ask me, whether Calvin doth not express fully my thoughts about our Spiritual Union in his lib. 4. cap. 17.

Answ. I answer, I have forgot what he has writ, and my self have read long since out of him; and for the present I have no books about me where I am; and therefore cannot satisfie you in this: neither know I when I shall seek to find out the book and place: If I have leisure, I will either write to you, or tell some of your friends before I am gone, what he hath said or writ that way, &c.

QUESTION III. Of the Cure of Atheistical Thoughts.

Again thirdly, You desire me to tell you how my self came to the Cure of Atheistical Thoughts? and whether they did wear out, or whether they were rationally overthrown? &c.

Answ. I answer,

1. At first they did wear out, meeting with fruitless and dead-hearted company, which was at the University.

2. The Lord awakened me again, and bid me beware lest an old sore brake out again: And this I found, that strength of reason would commonly convince my understanding that there was a God; but I felt it utterly insufficient to per∣swade my will of it, unless it was by fits, whenas I thought God's Spirit moved upon the Chaos of those horrible thoughts: and this I think will be found a truth.

3. I did groan under the bondage of those un∣believing thoughts, looking up, and sighing to the Lord, that if he were, as his works and word declared him to be, he would be pleased to reveal himself by his own beams, and perswade my Heart by his own Spirit of his Essence and Be∣ing; which if he would do, I should account it the greatest mercy that ever he shewed me. And after grievous and heavy perplexities, when I was by them almost forced to make an end of myself and sinful life, and to be mine own Execu∣tioner; the Lord came between the bridge and the water, and set me out of anguish of spirit, (as she prayed for a child) to pray unto him for light in the midst of so great darkness: In which time he revealed himself, manifested his love, stilled all those raging thoughts, gave return in great mea∣sure of them; so that though I could not read the Scripture without blasphemous thoughts be∣fore, now I saw a glory, a majesty, a mystery, a depth in it, which fully perswaded: and which light (I desire to speak it to the glory of his free grace, seeing you call me to it) is not wholly put out, but remains, while I desire to walk closely

with him, unto this day. And thus the Lord opened mine eyes, and cured me of this misery; and if any such base thoughts come (like Beg∣gars to my door,) to my mind, and put these scruples to me, I use to send them away with this answer; Why shall I question that Truth, which I have both known and seen?

Object. But you say this remedy is good, viz, of Prayer; but that you cannot use it, especi∣ally because you question the truth of God.

Answ. Yet, dear Sir, give not over this Trade; you will doubtless find it gainful, when it may be God hath laden you more with these thoughts, and made you loath your self for them. But the thing seems strange to me, if I mistake you not, viz, that your heart will not be perswaded, but that you must resolve your doubts concerning the Perfection of Scripture, not by seeking to har∣monize those passages that seem to cross one ano∣ther, but by ascribing some humanity or error, (if I may interpret you) to the penmen; seeing St. Paul saith, We Prophesie but in part, and see∣ing one of the Evangelists leaves out the doxology in the Lord's prayer.

Sir, if you take these thoughts, arising from these and the like grounds, as your burden, I do not blame you, but pity you in that respect; but if your judgment indeed think so, I am sorry you should harbour such thoughts one hour with∣in doors: for you know that holy men writ the Scriptures (but so far they might err, but it is added) as they were inspired, or as the Original has it, as they were moved or carried in the arms

of the Holy Ghost; and so how could they err? how could God lie? It is true, Paul did pro∣phesie but in part; and is this an argument, be∣cause he did not prophesie fully, therefore in some things he did not prophesie truly? I am per∣swaded you will say, there are many things my poor thoughts have suggested to you, as true; and yet I am perswaded I do in them prophesie, if I may so say, but in part. The Spirit of God directed the four Evangelists to write; yet so, as they did not all write what another writ, but in great wisdom left some things doubtful and short in one, which are more clear and full in another: and hence the Doxologie is fully set down in one, and not in another; and many reasons I could set you down why, but that is needless. I grant you ought not to put up all with a charitable opinion of Scripture; but if you can, by reason, reading, and comparing, help your heart to a full perswasion, this is Scrip∣ture: But many things you cannot get satisfac∣tion for, by that way and means, but still your Spirit will be left dark and doubtful; What course will you here take for resolution, which is Scripture? The Papists say it is so, because the Church has christened it for Scripture; you say you will see reason for it that it is so, or else you cannot be satisfied; then I fear you will ne∣ver be satisfied. I think, In this case therefore these two things you are to do.

1. To go to God by Prayer, to give you a re∣solution of all your doubts, and by some means or other, some light to see whether this is his word

or not. 2. If this be his word, that he would perswade your heart of it, that it is so: For the least resolution which is Scripture, and which is not, is made by the same perswasion, and sole perswasion of the same Spirit that writ the Scripture.

Concerning the Angels that appeared to Ma∣ry, see Gerard; and he briefly, I think, will sa∣tisfie you, in your answer to the particular scru∣ples about the Scripture sense, and the dissonancy of them. Only this I will add to the last clause about these things, that if the Scripture be inspired by the Holy Ghost, and that not only in the sum and substance of it, but in every word and sentence of it, which I think you will not doubt of, when you have considered it; then I think it will un∣deniably follow, that the same Spirit of truth is also a Spirit of order; and hence the method of various penning of it, is from the Spirit too, which you say you stick at.

Answ. 2. Again, to the latter part of your third complaint concerning your spirit being bur∣thened with involuntary infirmities, as burdens, but not as sins; I say nothing now, because I perceive by one part of your reply that the Lord has done you some good by the first answer; only it is your grief you cannot fear them, nor condemn yourself for them, as damning sins. For satis∣faction of which, I hope this reply to your se∣cond trouble will give you some satisfaction.

QUESTION IV. How to know the Movings of the Spirit.

Again to your fourth question, to know whe∣ther these changes you have sometimes, and these movings of your Spirit, are not of natural temper, or God's Spirit. It seems I did a little mistake the meaning; because you meant not the main work of grace, but occasional stirrings and mov∣ings of the heart; as by reading some pathetical Letter, your Spirit is moved with joy or sorrow, which it may be will not be stirred at some o∣ther time; as by drinking a cup of wine, the spi∣rit is made more chearful and lively, &c.

Answ. I answer these three things.

1. First, That it is very usual for natural af∣fections to be raised by a natural temper, as by drinking, eating, noveltiness of the Gospel. John's candle-flies were ravished with the Gospel: Peo∣ple are naturally moved sometimes by a thundring Minister, yet never a whit the more grace, &c. And it is a good speech of Doctor Ames: Armi∣nian universal grace (as they describe it) may be the effect of a good dinner sometimes.

2. That though the Being of grace depends not upon the temper of the body, yet the Exercise of grace, and many gifts of grace, together with the feeling of it, doth. And hence a good din∣ner, and sometimes wine, to a sad melancholy (if gracious) heart, may remove rem prohibentem that may keep grace, as joy and thankfulness, from working; and so take the grace and draw it out,

not create and diffuse the grace. The Prophet called, you know, for a Ministril; which some think, and that upon good grounds, was to raise up his heavy heart, and make him chear∣ful and fit to speak: the body is the instrument, which if it be broken, the best graces will hardly sound; but if whole, then they will.

3. If you would know when these things only draw out grace, or make a thing like unto grace in the Soul? I answer, by these two things chiefly.

1. If it be true grace, it ever makes you more humble and vile in your own eyes, and say; Lord, why dost thou give me any desire to thee, any chearfulness in serving thee?

2. It makes you more thankful, and to bless the Lord that he thus remembers you: For this is a standing rule,

What ever comes from nature, and a Man's self, it ever builds up it self, and returns to self again; what ever grace comes from Christ, it drives a man out of himself, by making him humble and draws him unto Christ that sent him, by making him thankful

. I think all graces, and stirrings, and movings that have not this double effect in some mea∣sure, are to be suspected; and if they have, it is dangerous to doubt whether they are true or no.

QUESTION V. Of seeing a Positive Providence.

Again, Your fifth thing about Providence; you say you cannot see a positive providence, al∣though you do see a negative providence in all your occasions, and comforts, and crosses, you meet withal; as namely, you can thank God for not taking away your life, &c, but you cannot see God giving it.

I answer,

1. Consider what I writ to you at first about this question in general.

2. Ponder sadly whether any creature or ap∣purtenance to it, has its Being from it self, or from the will and word of God; viz, I will have such a man to be, and such a memory to be, &c. I think you will say nothing can make it self; therefore here is a positive providence in having life, liberty, &c.

3. Consider whether the same will and word that gives it a Being, together with all the ap∣purtenances to it, doth not also give it Act and Motion. That it is so, I thus demonstrate; (1) Every creature is made for an end; for no wise efficient, but works for some wise end: (2) That no creature can lead it self to its end, if sinful or irrational: (3) God must and doth lead it by its several acts and movings to that end: Hence (4) Every act is determined by God.

And although I grant some creatures move freely, some necessarily; yet it is from a positive

will and providence that they move, act and see. Therefore you see what cause there is to see a positive providence in every thing.

Concerning the rest of your letter; Oh that I had time and heart to write more; yet I hope I have writ enough for this time, and the Lord knows whether ever more or no. However I thank you heartily for improving me this way of writing, who have my mouth stopt from speak∣ing. I wish I had more such friends to deal thus with me, and my self more time, and a more fruit∣ful head and heart to improve my self this, or any other like way for them: For who knows what breathings of God's Spirit are lost for want of writing, especially when there is no season of speaking? Truly Sir, I meet with few that are much troubled in that manner as your self; but they go on in an easie, quiet, and very dangerous way: Which troubles, I perswade my self, keep you awaking, when other virgins are slumbring; and after which, I am perswaded, the Lord in∣tends to use you for more than common service, if you wade well through them. However as I said before, be not discouraged, or too much perplexed in sorrow for them: For surely, as far as I can guess, the Lord is preparing you for him∣self by them I shall not forget you, though I never see you: And I beseech you, if you have any spark of affection toward me kindl'd by these few lines, remember when you are best able to pray for your self, to look after me and mine, and all that go with me on the mighty waters; and then

to look up and sigh to Heaven for me, that the Lord would out of his free grace but bring me to that good land, and those glorious Ordinances; and that there I may but behold the face of the Lord in his Temple, though he never delight to use me there, though I and mine should possibly beg there; and that if the Lord should call me to my solemn work and service for the good of his Church and People, and company that go with me, or are gone before me, that then the Lord Jesus would reveal his secrets to me, and enable me the little time I have to live, to be fruitful to him, and to have larger heart than ever for him. As for your self, I shall desire the Lord to keep you blameless and unspotted in an evil world; and that as he has begun, so he would perfect, and crown his divine graces and work in you; and that you may be preserved from national sins, which shortly bring national and most heavy plagues; and that the presence of the Lord may abide with you, and in you, until the Lord call for you. Remember my kind love to your Father, whose name I have forgot, and by whom I could not send these lines, being then hindred by business. Now the peace of Jesus Christ be with you, and keep you upright and blameless till death. And if I never see you more till the last and great day, then Farewel, Farewel.

Yours in JESUS CHRIST, T. S.

THE First Principles OF THE Oracles of GOD. Collected By Thomas Shepard, Formerly of Emanuel College in Cambridge in England afterward Minister of Cambridge in New-England

For when for the time ye ought to be Teachers, ye have need that one teach you again, which be the first Principles of the Oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.

Heb. v. 12.

BOSTON: Printed and Sold by ROGERS and FOWLE in Queen-street. 1747.

Imprimatur

Joseph Caryl.

Imprimatur

James Cranford.

To the Christian Reader.

IT is no disparagement at all, for this wise Master-Builder, Mr. Shepard of New England, to labour sometimes by the Hammer of the Word, to fasten these nails of Truth in a sure place, even in the heads and hearts of Infant-Christians.

Neither is it below the highest Scholar in Christ's School, to hold fast the form of whol∣some words. 2 Tim. 1.13.

The great Apostle himself, (who was rapt up into the third Heaven) although he had received a commission of Christ his Master to make Disciples, yet he was a Disciple still; for he not only Catechised others, but learned, and that again, and again, The first Prin∣ciples of the Oracles of God, Heb. 5.12. which are called The Mysteries of the King∣dom of Heaven, Mat. 13.11. and The depths of God: Ta Bathee tov Theou, 1 Cor. 2.10. that is in plain English, those Doc∣trinal Truths, which are truly Fundamental, and absolutely necessary unto salvation; that

we may be able by sound Doctrine both to Exhort and Convince the Gain-sayers, Tit. 1.9. and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh us a reason, of the hope that is in us. 1 Pet. 3.15.

Thus heartily beseeching thee, in the Name of Christ, to search the Scriptures, John 5.39. and to give thy self continually to Prayer, and the Ministry of the Word; Acts 6.4. that you may grow in Grace, and in the Knowledge of our LORD and SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST, 2 Pet. 3.18. I now commend you to GOD, and to the Word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are Sanctified, Acts 20.32. So be it.

Friend, I am thine, if thou doest love the Truth and our LORD JESUS CHRIST in sincerity.

William Adderley.

Dated, From Charterhouse in London, February 1. 1647.

THE Sum of Christian Religion: In Way of Question and Answer.

Delivered By Mr. Thomas Shepard Of NEW-ENGLAND.

Question. WHAT is the best and last end of Man?

A. To live to God. Rom. 6.10, 11. Gal. 3.19. 2. Cor. 5.3, 15.

Q. How is Man to live unto God?

A. Two ways.

First, By Faith in God. Psal. 37.3.

Secondly, By observance of God. Eccles. 12.13.

Q. What is Faith in God?

A. It is the first act of our spiritual life, whereby the soul believing God, believeth in God, and there resteth as in the only Author and Principle of

life. Heb. 10.38. John 3.33, 36. Rom. 4.3. Heb. 11.13. Heb. 4.3. Deut. 30.20.

Q. What is God?

A. God only knoweth himself, no man can so know him and live: Yet he hath manifested himself unto us in his back-parts, acording to our manner or measure of knowing thing and we need know no more than these, that we may live. 1 Tim. 6.16. Exod. 33.19, 23.

Q. What are God's back-parts?

A. They are two, First: His Sufficiency. Psal. 36.9. Secondly, His Efficiency. Rom. 4.21.

Q. What is God's Sufficiency?

A. It is his perfect fulness of all good, whereby he is all-sufficient for us in himself. Psal. 16.11. Gen. 17.1.

Q. Wherein stands and appears GOD's Suffi∣ciency?

A. First, in his Essence, Psal. 68.19.

Secondly, In his Subsistence or persons, 2 Sam. 7.20, 25.

Q. What is God's Essence?

A. Whereby he is that absolute first being, Rev. 1.8. Isa. 44.6. Exod. 3.14.

Q. Can you sufficiently conceive of the Glory of this one most pure essence, by one act of Faith?

A. No, and therefore the Lord hath mani∣fested it unto us by diverse Attributes, Deut. 29.29. Exod. 34.6, 7.

Q. What are God's Attributes?

A. That one most pure Essence, diversly ap∣prehend of us, as it is diversly made known unto us. 1 Joh. 4.16. Isa. 43.25.

Q. How many kinds of Attributes are there?

A. There are two sorts of them.

First, Some shewing what God is:

Secondly, Some shewing who God is.

Q. By what Attributes know you what God is?

A. By these, God is a spirit living of himself. John 4.24. John 5.26.

Q. By what Attributes do you understand who GOD is?

A. By his Essential properties, which shew to us: First How great a God he is. Psal. 77.13. Secondly, What a manner of God he is. Matt. 6.17.

Q. What Attributes shew how great a GOD he is?

A. First his Infiniteness, whereby he is without all limits of Essence. 2 Chron. 2.5, 6.

Secondly, His Eternity, whereby he is without all limits of beginning, succession, or end of Time. Psal. 102.25, 26, 27. 1 Tim. 1.17.

Q. What are those Attributes which shew what a manner of GOD he is?

A. His Qualities whereby he acteth with, are of two sorts.

First, His Faculties, whereby he is able to act. Isai. 60.16, and 63.1.

Secondly. His Vertues of those Faculties, whereby he is prompt and ready to act. Psal. 86.5.

Q. What are his Faculties?

A. First, His Understanding, whereby he understandeth together, and at once all Truth. Heb. 4.13. Acts. 15.18.

Secondly, His Will whereby he purely willeth all good. Psal. 119.68.

Q. What are the Vertues of those Faculties?

A. First, They are intellectual, the vertues of his Understanding, as Wisdom, Knowledge, and the rest.

Secondly, Moral, the vertues of his Will, as Love, Holiness, Mercy. In the acting of both which, consists God's Happiness.

Thus much have you seen of God's sufficiency, in regard of his Essence. Now follows his Sub∣sistence?

Q. What are his Subsistences or Persons?

A. That one most pure Essence with its Re∣lative Properties.

Q. What are those Relative Properties?

A. They are three.

First, To beget.

Secondly, To be begotten.

Thirdly, To proceed from both.

Q. How many Persons learn you from hence to be in GOD?

A. Three:

First, The first, is the Father, the first Per∣son in order, begetting the Son. Psal. 2.7.

Secondly, The Son, the second Person, begotten of the Father. John 3.16. Heb. 1.3.

Thirdly, The Spirit, the third Person, pro∣ceeding from them both. John 15.26.

Q. Are these three Persons three distinct GOD's?

A. No for they are that one pure Essence, and therefore but one God. John 1.1. Rom. 9.5. 2 Cor. 6.16. 1 Cor. 2.10.

Q If every Person be God, how can they be distinct Persons, and not distinct GOD's?

A. Yes, Because one and the same thing may have many relative properties, and respects of be∣ing, which in the God-head make distinct Per∣sons. As one and the same Man, may be a Fa∣ther in one respect, a Master in another respect, and a Scholar in another respect.

Q. If these three Persons be but one GOD, what follows from hence?

A. That all the three Persons are Co-equal, Coeternal, subsisting in, not separating from each other, and therefore delighting in each other, glorifying each other. Prov. 8.30.

Thus much concerning GOD.

Now concerning the Works of GOD.

Thus much concerning Gods Sufficiency, What is his Efficiency?

A. Whereby he worketh all things, and all in all things, Rom. 11.36. Isai. 45.7.

Q. What of GOD shines forth, and are you to behold in his Efficiency?

A. Two Things,

First, God's Omnipotency, in respect of his Essence.

Secondly, The co-operation and distinct manner of working of the three Persons. Rom. 1.20. John. 5.17.

Q. What is Gods omnipotency?

A. It is his almighty power, whereby he is able to bring to pass all that he doth will, or whatever he can will or decree. 2 Chron. 20.6. Phil. 3.21. Mat. 3.9. Psal. 115.7.

Q. What is GOD's Decree?

A. It is his Eternal and determinate purpose, concerning the effecting of all things by his mighty power, according to his counsel. Eph. 1.11.

Q. What attributes or glory of GOD appear in his Decree?

A. First, His Constancy, whereby his Decree remains unchangeable. Numb. 23.19.

Secondly, His Truth, whereby he delivereth no∣thing but what he hath decreed. Jer. 10.10.

Thirdly, His Faithfulness, whereby he effecteth what ever he decreeth according thereunto Isai. 46.10.

Q. What is GOD's Counsel?

A. His deliberation, as it were for the best effecting of every thing according to his Wisdom. Acts 4.24. Psal. 104.24.

Q. What is GOD's Wisdom?

A. It is the Idaea or perfect platform of all things in the mind of God, which either can be known, or shall be done, according to the good pleasure of his will. Heb. 11.3. Prov. 8.12, 13.

Q. What is the good Pleasure of GOD's will?

A. It is the most free Act of his Will, whereby he willeth himself directly, as the greatest good, and all other things for himself, according to

his good pleasure. Matth. 11.25. Prov. 16.4.

Q. What learn you from hence?

A. That GOD'S good pleasure is he first and best cause of all things. Psal. 115.3. Psal. 33.8, 9, 10, 11.

Q. What is the Co-operation of the three Per∣sons in GOD's Efficiency?

A. Whereby they work the same thing to∣gether unseparably. John 5.17, 19. and 16.13, 14.

Q. If they work the same thing together, How is it that some works are attributed to GOD the Father? as Creation; some to the Son, as Redemp∣tion; some to the Holy Spirit, as Application?

A. This is not because the same work is not common to all the three Persons, but because that work is principally attributed in Scripture to that person whose distinct manner of working appears chiefly in the work.

Q. What is GOD the Fathers distinct manner of working?

A. His working is from Himself by the Son, and through the holy Ghost: Psal. 33.6. John 1.3: and hence the beginning, and so the Crea∣tion of all things is attributed to him.

Q. What is GOD the Sons manner of work∣ing?

A. His working is from the Father, by the holy Ghost; John 14.16: and hence the Dis∣pensation of all things, and so Redemption is at∣tributed unto him.

Q. What is the Holy Ghosts manner of work∣ing?

A. His working is from the Father and the Son; Joh. 14.26: and hence the Consumma∣tion of all things, and so Application is attributed unto him.

Q. Wherein doth GOD's Efficiency or working appear?

A. In two Things.

First. In his Creation of the world.

Secondly, In his Providence over the world. Isai. 37.16.

Q. What is his Creation?

A. It is God's efficiency, whereby he made the whole world of nothing, originally exceeding good. Psal. 33.9. Gen. 1.31.

Q. Did the LORD make the world in an instant?

A. No, but by parts, in the space of six days, described at large by Moses. Gen. 1.

Q. When did the LORD make the third heaven, with the Angels their inhabitants?

A. In the first day, in the first beginning of it. Gen. 1.1. Job 38.6, 7.

Q. What is the Creation of the third heaven?

A. Whereby he made it to be the heaven of heavens, a most glorious place, replenished with all pleasure which belongs to eternal happiness, wherein his Majesty is seen face to face, and there∣fore called the habitation of God. 2. Chron. 2.5, 6. Psal. 16.11. Psal. 63.15.

Q. What is the creation of the Angels.

A. Whereby he created an innumerable num∣ber of them, in holiness, to be ministring spirits, with most acuteness of understanding, liberty of will, great strength, and speedy in motion, to

celebrate his praises, and execute his commands, specially to the heirs of salvation. Heb. 11.22. John 8.44. Heb. 1.14. 2 Sam. 14.20. Jude 6.2 Pet. 2.11. Isai. 6.2. Psal. 130.20.

Q When did GOD create Man?

A. The sixth day. Gen. 1.27.

Q How did GOD create Man?

A. He made him a reasonable creature, consist∣ing of body, and an immortal soul, in the image of God. Gen. 2.7. Gen. 1.28.

Q What is the Image of GOD wherein he was made?

A. That hability of man to resemble God, and wherein he was like unto God, in wisdom, holi∣ness, righteousness, both in his nature, and in his government of himself and all creatures. Col. 3.10. Ephes. 4.24. Gen. 1.26.

Q. What became of Man being thus made?

A. He was placed in the Garden of Eden, as in his Princely Court, to live unto God, to∣gether with the Woman which God gave him. Gen. 2.15.

Thus much of GOD's Creation,

Q. What is his Providence?

A. Whereby he provideth for his creatures being made, even to the least circumstance. Psal. 145.16. Prov. 16.33.

Q. How is GOD's Providence distinguished?

A. It is either, First, Ordinary, and mediate, whereby he provideth for his creatures by ordina∣ry and usual means, Hos. 2.22.

Secondly, Extraordinary and immediate, where∣by he provides for his creatures by miracles, or immediately by himself. Psal. 36.4. Dan. 3.17.

Q. Wherein is GOD's Providence seen?

A. First, in Conservation, whereby he up∣holdeth things in their being and power of working. Act. 17.28. Psal. 104.29, 30. Neh. 9.6.

Secondly, In Gubernation, whereby he guides, directs, and brings all creatures to their ends, Psal. 29.10. Psal. 33.11.

Q. Doth GOD govern all creatures alike?

A. No, But some he governs by a common providence, and others by a special providence, to wit, Angels and Men, to an eternal state of happiness in pleasing him, or of misery in dis∣pleasing him. Deut. 30.15, 16.

Q. What of GOD's Providence appears in his special government of man?

A. Two things.

• 1. Man's Apostacy or fall.
• 2. His Recovery or rising again.

Q. Concerning Man's fall, what are you to observe therein?

A. Two things.

• 1. His transgression in eating the forbidden fruit. Gen. 2.17.
• 2. The propagation of this unto all Adam's posterity.

Q. Was this so great a sin, to eat of the for∣bidden fruit?

A. Yes, exceeding great, this Tree being a

Sacrament of the Covenant: also he had a special charge not to eat of it: and in it the whole man did strike against the whole law, even when God had so highly advanced him.

Q. What are the causes of this transgression?

A. The blameless cause or occasion was the Law of God. Rom. 5.13. And hence as the Law did it, so God did it; holily, justly, and blamelessly. Rom. 7.10, 11, 12.

Q. What are the blameable causes?

A. Two principally;

• 1. The Devil abusing the serpent to deceive the woman. Gen. 3.1.
• 2. Man himself in abusing his own free-will, in receiving the temptation which he might have resisted. Ephes. 7.29.

Q. What is the Devil?

A. That great number of apostate and rebelli∣ous Angels, which through pride and blasphemy against God, and malice against Man became liars, and murtherers of Man, by bringing him into that sin. Luke. 11.18. 1 Tim. 3.6. 1 John 3.12. John 8.44.

Q. What are the Effects and fruits of this trans∣gression?

A. They are two.

• 1. Guilt, whereby they are tied to undergo due punishment for the fault. Rom. 3.19.
• 2. Punishment, which is the just anger of God upon them for the filth of sin. Rom. 1.18.

Q. What are the particular punishments inflicted on the causes of this sin?

A. Besides the fearful punishment of the devils,

mentioned Jude 6, and that of the serpent and the Woman, Gen. 3.14, 16; the punishment of Man was, First, Sin Original and Actual, Secondly, Death. Gen. 5.5.

Q. What is sin?

A. The Transgression of God's Law. Joh. 3.4.

Q. What is Original and Actual sin?

A. First, Original sin is the contrariety of the whole nature of man to the law of God, whereby it being averse form all good, is enclined to all evil. Eccles. 8.11. Gen. 6.5. Rom. 6.20.

Secondly, Actual sin is the continual jarring of the actions of man from the Law of God, by reason of Original sin, and so man hath no free will to any spiritual good. Isai. 65.2, 3. Jam. 1 14, 15. Isai. 1.11.

Q What Death is that which GOD inflicts on man for sin?

A. A double death.

• 1. The first death of the body, together with the beginnings of it in this world, as grief, shame, losses, sicknesses. Deut. 28.21, 22, 35.
• 2. The second death of the soul, which is the eternal separation and ejection of the soul after death, and soul and body after judgment, from God, into everlasting torments in hell.

Q Is there no beginning of this death, as there is of the other in this life?

A. Yes, as first, Security and Hardness of Heart, which cannot feel sin its greatest evil.

2. Terrors of Conscience. Heb. 2.15.

3. Bondage of Satan. Eph. 2.2.

4. The Curse of God in all blessings, whereby they are fitted for destruction, Rom. 9.22.

Q. What of GOD's attributes shine forth here?

A. 1. His Holiness, whereby he being pure from all sin, cannot away with the least sin in the best of his creatures. Heb. 1.13.

2. His Justice, whereby he being most Just in himself, cannot but punish man for sin, as well as reward him for well-doing. 2 Thes. 1.6.

3. His Patience, whereby he useth Pity, Pa∣tience, and Bounty, to his creatures offending. Rom. 2.3.

Q Is this sin, and the punishment of it derived to all men's Posterity?

A. Yes, John 3.3. Eph. 2.3.

Q How is it propagated?

A. By the Imputation of Adam's sin unto us, and so the Punishment must needs follow upon it. Rom. 5.13.

Q. Why should Adam's sin be imputed to all his posterity?

A. Because we were in him as the members in the head, as children in his loins, as debtors in their surety, as branches in their roots: it being just, that as if he standing, all had stood, by imputation of his righteousness; so he falling, all should fall, by the imputation of his sin.

Thus you have seen man's apostacy from God:

Q. What is his recovery?

A. It is the Return of man to the favour of God again, meerly out of favour, and the ex∣ceeding riches of his free grace. Eph. 2.12, 13. Rom. 5.8.

Q. How are we brought into Favour, and what are the Parts of this Recovery?

A. Two Ways.

First, By Redemption. 2 Cor. 5.19, 20.

Secondly, By Application hereof. Tit. 3.6.

Q. What is Redemption?

A. The Satisfaction made, or the Price paid to the Justice of God for the Life and Deli∣verance of Man out of the Captivity of Sin, Satan, and Death, by a Redeemer, according to the Covenant made between him and the Fa∣ther. 1 Cor. 6.20. Luk. 1.74. Isai. 55.10, 11.

Q. Who is this Redeemer?

A. Jesus Christ, God and Man. Mat. 1.23. John 1.14. Col. 2.19.

Q. Why is he God-Man?

A. That so he might be a fit Mediator, to transact all Businesses between God and Man, in the Execution of his three Offices where∣unto he was anointed of the Father. 1 Tim. 2.5. Isai. 42.12.

Q. What are those three Offices of Christ?

A. 1. His Prophetical Office, whereby he doth reveal the Will of the Father. Acts 3.22. Colos. 2.3.

2. His Priestly Office, whereby he makes full Atonement with the Father for us. Col. 1. 20.

3. His Kingly Office, whereby he governs his People whom he had taught and reconciled, sub∣duing their Enemies, and procuring their eternal Peace. Psal. 2.6. Isai. 9.6.

Q. How hath Christ Jesus made satisfaction?

A. By his Humiliation, whereby he was made subject throughout his whole Life and Death, to the strict Justice of God, to perform what∣ever the same might require for the Redemption of Man. Gal. 4.4, 5.

Q. What did God's Justice require of Man?

A. 1. Death, for the breach of the Law; and that Christ tasted, in his bitter Sufferings, both of Body and Soul, by being made Sin, and so abolishing Sin: and this is called his Passive Obedience. Heb. 2.9. Eph. 1.7. 2 Cor. 5.21. Gal. 3.13.

2. Perfect Obedience in fulfilling the Law perfectly, both in his Nature and Actions, for the procuring and meriting of life: and this is cal∣led his Active Obedience. Heb. 7.26.

Q. What follows Christ's Humiliation?

A. His Exaltation which is his glorious Vic∣tory, and open Triumph over all his and our Enemies, Sin, Satan, and Death, in the several Degrees of it. Luk. 24.26. Phil. 2.8, 9. 1 Cor. 15.5.7.

Q. What is the first Degree of CHRIST's Exaltation?

A. His Resurrection the third Day, whereby his Soul and Body by the Power of the God-head, were brought together again, and so rose again from Death, appearing to his Disciples for the Space of forty Days. 1 Cor. 15.4. Joh. 2.19. Acts. 1.3.

Q. What is the second Degree of CHRIST's Exaltation?

A. His Ascension into Heaven, which was

the going up of the Manhood into the third Hea∣ven, by the power of the God-head, from Mount Oliver, in the Sight of his Disciples. Acts 1. 11, 12.

Q. What is the third degree of his Exalta∣tion?

A. His sitting at the right hand of GOD, whereby he being advanced to the Fulness of all Glory, in both Natures governeth and ruleth all things together with the Father, as Lord over all for the Good of his People. Mark 16.9. Ps. 110.1. 1 Cor. 15.25 Eph. 1.20, 21, 22. 1 Pet. 3.22.

Q. What is the fourth and last Degree of his Exaltation?

A. His Return to Judgment, which is his second Coming into this World with great Glory and Majesty to judge the Quick and the Dead; to the Confusion of all them that would not have him rule over them, and to the unspeakable Good of his People. Mat. 19.28. 2. Tim. 4.1. Acts 17.31. 2 Thes. 1.7, 8, 9.

Thus much of Redemption, the first part of his Recovery.

Q. What is Application?

A. Whereby the Spirit by the Word and Mi∣nistry thereof, makes all that which Christ as Mediator hath done for the Church efficacious to the Church, as her own. John 16.14. Tit. 3.5, 6, 7. John 10.16. Rom. 10.14, 17. Eph. 5.25, 26.

Q. What is the Church?

A. The Number of God's Elect. Heb. 12.23. John 17.9, 10, 11. John 10.16. Eph. 1.22, 23.

Q How doth the Spirit make Application to the Church?

A. 1. By Union of the Soul to Christ. Phil. 3.9, 10.

2. By Communion of the Benefits of Christ to the Soul.

Q. What is this Union?

A. Whereby the Lord joining the Soul to Christ, makes it one Spirit with Christ, and so gives it Possession of Christ, and Right unto all the Benefits and Blessings of Christ. 1 Cor. 6.17. John 17.21. Rom. 8.32. 1 John 5.12.

Q. How doth the Spirit make this Union?

A. Two Ways.

• 1. By cutting off the Soul from the old Adam, or the wild Olive Tree, in the Work of Prepa∣ration. Rom. 11.23, 24.
• 2. By putting or ingrafting the Soul into the second Adam, Christ Jesus, by the Work of Vo∣cation. Act. 26.18.

Q. What are the Parts of the Preparation of the Soul for Christ?

A. They are two;

• 1. Contrition, whereby the Spirit immediately cuts off the Soul from its Security in Sin, by making it to mourn for it, and separating the Soul from it, as the greatest Evil. Isa. 61.1, 3. Jer. 4.3, 4. Mat. 11.20, 28.
• 2. Humiliation, whereby the Spirit cuts the

• Soul off from Self-confidence in any Good it hath or doth; Especially, by making it to feel its Want, and Unworthiness of Christ, and hence submitteth to be disposed of as God pleaseth. Phil. 3.7, 8. Luke 16.9. Luke 15.17, 18, 19.

Q What are the Parts of Vocation of the Soul to CHRIST.

A. 1. The Lord's Call and Invitation of the Soul to come to Christ, in the Revelation and Offer of Christ and his rich Grace. 2. Cor. 5.10.

2. The Receiving of Christ, or the Coming of the whole Soul out of it self unto Christ, for Christ, by Vertue of the irresistable Power of the Spirit in the Call: and this is Faith, Jer. 3.22. John 6.44.45. John 10.16. Isai. 55.5.

Thus much of our Union:

Q. What is the Communion of CHRIST's Be∣nefits unto the Soul?

A. Whereby the Soul possessed with Christ, and right unto him, hath by the same Spirit Fru∣ition of him, and all his Benefits, Joh. 4.10, 14.

Q. What is the first of those Benefits we do en∣joy from CHRIST?

A. Justification, which is the gracious Sentence of God the Father, whereby for the Satisfaction of CHRIST, apprehended by Faith, and imputed to the faithful, he absolves them from the Guilt and Condemnation of all Sins, and accepts them as perfectly righteous to eternal Life. Rom. 3.24, 25. Rom. 4.6.7, 8. Rom. 8.33, 34.

Q. What Difference is there between Justifica∣tion, and Sanctification?

A. 1. Justification is by Christ Righteousness inherent in Christ only; Sanctification is by a Righ∣teousness from CHRIST inherent in ourselves. 2 Cor. 5.21. Phil. 3.9.

2. Justification is perfected at once, and ad∣mits of no Degrees, because it is by Christ his perfect Righteousness; Sanctification is imperfect, being begun in this Life. Rev. 12.1. Phil. 3.12.

Q. What is the second Benefit next in order to Justification, which the Faithful receive from CHRIST?

A. Reconciliation, whereby a Christian justified is actually reconciled, and at Peace with God. Rom. 5.1 Joh. 2.12; and hence follows his Peace with all Creatures.

Q. What is the third Benefit next unto Recon∣ciliation?

A. Adoption, whereby the Lord accounts the Faithful his Sons, crowns them with Priviledges of Sons, and gives them the Spirit of Adoption, the same Spirit which is in his only begotten Son. 1 Joh. 3.2 Rom. 8.11, 14, 15, 16, 17.

Q. What is the fourth Benefit next to Adoption?

A. Sanctification, whereby the Sons of God are renewed in the whole Man, unto the Image of their Heavenly Father in Christ Jesus; by Mor∣tification, or their daily dying to Sin by Vertue of CHRIST'S Death; and by Vivification, their daily rising to Newness of Life by Christ's Re∣surrection. 1 Thes. 5.23. Ephes. 4.24. Jer. 31.32. Rom. 6.7, 8.

Q What follows from this Mortification and Vivification?

A. A Continual War and Combat between the renewed Part assisted by Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and the unrenewed Part assisted by Satan and this evil World. Rom. 7.21, 22, 23.

Q. What is the fifth and last Benefit next unto Sanctification?

A. Glorification, which hath two Degrees, The one in this Life, and the other in the world to come.

Q. What is the first Degree of Glorification in this Life?

A. Lively Expectation of Glory, from the Assurance and shedding abroad God's Love in our Hearts, working Joy unspeakable. Rom. 5.2, 5. Tit. 2.13.

Q. What is the second Degree in the World to come?

A. Full Fruition of Glory, whereby being made compleat and perfect in Holiness, and Hap∣piness, we enjoy all that Good, Eye hath not seen, nor Ear hath heard, in our Immediate and Eternal Communion with God in Christ. Heb. 12.23. 1. Cor. 15.28.

Thus much of the first part, of living to GOD by Faith in GOD:

Q. What is the second Part, viz. our Obser∣vance?

A. It is the Duty that is to be performed to God of us, through the Power of his Holy Spirit, working in us by Faith, according to the Will of God. Eph. 6.6, 7. Psal. 139.24. Rom. 6.1. Luk. 1.74.

Q. Wherein consists our Observance of God?

A. It is either Moral, or Ceremonial.

Q. Wherein consists our Moral Observance of GOD?

A. In two Things:

• 1. In suffering his Will, whereby a Believer, for the Sake of Christ, chuseth rather to suffer any Misery, than to commit the least Sin. Heb. 11.26. Acts 21.13.
• 2. In doing his Will, whereby a Believer, in Sense of Christ's Love, performeth universal O∣bedience to the Law of God. Rom. 7.22. 1 Joh. 5.3. Luk. 1.6. Phil. 3.12

Q. Is there any Use of the Law to a Christian?

A. Although it be abolished to a Christian in Christ, as a Covenant of Life; (for so Adam and his Posterity are still under it) yet it remains as a Rule of Life, when he is in Christ, and to pre∣pare the Heart for Christ. Rom. 6.14, 15. Matth. 5.17, 18, 19, 20. Ezek. 20.11. Rom. 9.

Q. Why is not a Christian so under the Law as a Covenant of Life, so as if he breaks it by the least Sin he shall die for it?

A. Because Jesus Christ hath kept it perfectly for him. Rom. 8.3, 4. Rom. 5.20, 21.

Q. Can any Man keep the Law perfectly in this Life?

A. No, for the Unregenerate wanting the Spirit of Life, cannot perfect an Act of Life in Obedience to it: The regenerate having the Spirit but in Part, perform it only im∣perfectly. Rom. 8.7. Rom. 7.21.

Q. What befals the Unregenerate upon their Dis∣obedience unto it?

A. The eternal Curse of God for the least Sin, and the Increase of God's fierce and fearful se∣cret Wrath as they increase in Sin. Galat. 3.10. Rom. 2.5.

Q What befalls the Regenerate after their Breach of the Law, and imperfect Obedience unto it.

A. The Lord may threaten and correct them, but his Loving-kindness (in covering their Sins in their best Duties by Christ, and accepting their meanest Services so far as they are quick∣ned by his Spirit) is never taken from them. Psal. 89.31, 32, 33. Zach. 3.1, to 8. Isa. 56.7. Rom. 7.20.

Q What is that imperfect Obedience of Believers which is accepted?

A. When they so observe the Will of Christ, as that therein,

• 1. They confess and lament their Sins. 1 John 1.9. Rom. 7.24.
• 2. They desire Mercy in the Blood of Christ, and more of his Spirit. Phil. 3.9, 10, 11.
• 3. They return him the Praise of the least Ability to do his Will. Psal. 50.23. 1 Cor. 15.10.

Q. How is the Law, or ten Commandments divided?

A. Into two Tables: The first, shewing our Duty to God immediately in the four first Com∣mandments; The second, our Duty to Man in the six last Commandments.

Q. What Rules are you to observe to understand the Moral Law?

A. These:

• 1. That in whatsoever Commandment, any Duty is enjoined, there the contrary Sin is for∣bidden; and where any Sin is forbidden, there the contrary Duty is commanded.
• 2. That the Law is Spiritual; and hence, re∣quires not only outward, but inward and Spiritual Obedience.
• 3. Where any gross Sin is forbidden, there all the Signs, Degrees, Means, and Provocations to that Sin are forbidden also; and are in God's Account that Sin: And so where any Duty is commanded, there all the Signs, Means and Provocations to that Duty, are commanded also.
• 4. That the Law is perfect; and therefore there is no Sin in all the Scripture, but 〈◊〉〈◊〉 forbid∣den in it; nor no Duty required (if moral) but it is commanded in it.

Thus much of our moral Observance of God.

Q What is our ceremonial Observance?

A. The Celebration of the two Sacraments, Baptism and the Lord's Supper.

Q. What is a Sacrament?

A. It is an Holy Ceremony wherein external sensible Things, by the appointment of Christ are separate from common Use, to signifie exhi∣bit

and seal to us that Assurance of eternal Life by Christ Jesus, according to the Covenant of his Grace. Gen. 17.9, 10.

Q. Which are the Sacraments?

A. They are two, Baptism and the Lord's Supper.

Q. What is the external sensible Part of Baptism?

A. Water. John 3.23.

Q. What is the inward and spiritual Part of Baptism, signified, exhibited, and sealed thereby?

A. Christ's Righteousness and his Spirit.

1. Washing away our Sin, and so delivering us from Death.

2. Presenting us clear before the Father, and so restoring us again to Life. Rom. 6.4. Col. 2.12. Mat. 3.11.

Q. What follows from hence?

A. I. That it is a Sacrament of our new Birth 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ingrafting into Christ. John 3.5.

〈◊〉〈◊〉 as we are perfectly justified at once, and being new born once, shall never die again: Hence this Seal is to be Administred but once.

Q. What is the External and sensible Part of the Lord's Supper?

A. Bread and Wine, with the Sacramental Actions about the same.

Q. What is the inward and spiritual Part of it signified, sealed, and exhibited thereby?

A. The Body and Blood of Christ crucified, offered and given to nourish and Strengthen Be∣lievers, renewing their Faith unto eternal Life, 1 Cor. 11.24. John 6.54, 55

Q. What follows from hence?

A. 1. That it is the Sacrament of our Growth in Christ, being new born; because it is Food given to nourish us, having received Life.

2. That therefore it is to be administred and received often that we may grow.

3. That Children and Fools, and Wicked ought not to partake of the Sacrament, because they cannot examine themselves, and so renew their Faith. 1 Cor. 11.28.

Q. Ought not the Sacrament to be administred to carnal People, if they have been baptized?

A. No, because such as are not within the Covenant, have no Right to the Seal of the Covenant.

Q. Where are Believers, who have Right unto this Sacrament, to seek Fruition of it?

A. Because it ought not to be 〈◊〉〈◊〉 privately, (as the Papists would;) 〈◊〉〈◊〉 God's People are to seek to enjoy their Right to it in some particular visible Church, in joining with them, as Fellow Members of the same Body. 1 Cor. 11.20, 22. 1 Chron. 10.17. Acts. 2.42.

Q. What Members ought every particular visible Church to consist of?

A. Christ being Head of every particular Church, and it his Body, hence none are to be Members of the Church but such as are Members of Christ by Faith. 1 Cor. 1.2. 1 Thes. 1.

Q. But do not Hypocrites, and no true Members of Christ creep in?

A. Yes: But if they could have been known

to be such, they ought to be kept out; and when they are known, they are orderly to be cast out. Mat. 25.1. 2 Tim. 3.5. Rev. 2.20. Tit. 3.10.

Q. Are these Members bound only to cleave to Christ their Head by Faith?

A. Yes, and to one another also by Brotherly Love; which they are bound to strengthen and confirm, (as well as their Faith) by a solemn Covenant. Eph. 4.15, 16. Col. 1.4. Jer. 50.4. Isai. 56.45. Zach. 11.14. Zeph. 3.9. Psal. 119.106.

Q. What Benefits are there by joining thus to a particular Church?

A. 1. Hereby they come to be under the spe∣cial Government of Christ in his Church, and the Officers thereof. Isa. 30.20.

2. Hereby they have the Promise of special Blessings and on their Children also. Psal. 133.3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉. 20.6.

3. Herein they have the Promise of God's special Presence.

1. Revealing unto them his Will. Psal. 27.4. Psal. 63.2, 3.

2. Protecting them. Isa. 44.6.

3. Hearing all their Prayers. Deut. 4.7. Mat. 18.19.

Q. Are there not some who never find these Benefits?

A. Yes: Because many knowing not how to make Use of God's Ordinances, nor feeling a need of God's Presence only in them, their Sin also blinding, and partly hardning their Hearts,

and polluting God's House; they then become worse when they have best Means. Mat. 11.23. Jer. 17.5, 6. Heb. 6.8. 1 Sam. 5.8, 9. Ezek. 14.4, 5. 1 King. 8.21.

Q. What are the Miseries of those who care∣lesly, and wilfully despise, and so refuse to join to GOD's Church?

A. Besides the Loss of God's Presence in the Fellowship of his People, it is a fearful Sign (con∣tinuing so) that God never intends to save their Souls. Acts 2.47. Isai. 60.12. Rev. 2.23, 24.

Q. What therefore ought People chiefly to labour for, and to hold forth unto the Church, that so they may be joined to it?

A. A threefold Work:

• 1. Of Humiliation, under their Misery, Death, and Sin, as their greatest Evil. Acts. 2.37. Mat. 3.6.
• 2. Of Vocation, or their drawing to Christ out of this Misery, as to their greatest, and only Good. Acts. 2.38, 41.
• 3. Of new Obedience, how they have walked in CHRIST since called. Acts 9.26, 27. Mat. 3.8.

FINIS.

MEDITATIONS AND Spiritual Experiences OF Mr. Thomas Shepard, Late worthy and dear Pastor of the Church of CHRIST in Cambridge, in New-England, from November 25. 1640—to December 27. 1641. Transcribed out of his own Book, written with his own Hand; and left by him to his Son Thomas Shepard, with this Word prefixed — Try all Things, and hold fast that which is good.

BOSTON: Printed and Sold by ROGERS and FOWLE in Queen-street. 1747.

PREFACE.

'TIS always a Matter of the highest Importance both with Regard to the Honour of God and the Interests of the Souls of Men, that true Religi∣on be justly delineated; that it appear in its own native Excellency, Worth, and Beauty, with all its Goodness and Virtue; as that which conforms the Soul to the Image of the blessed God, the Conversation and Practice to the Rules of his Word, and the Example of Christ; and qualifies the Man for the glorious Employ∣ments and Entertainments of the heavenly State, as well as for a faithful Discharge of the Duties assign'd him by Divine Providence in this present World.

When the Nature, the Properties and Effects of this divine Religion, which our LORD has taught and ex∣emplified to us, are thus clearly opened and duly represent∣ed, this tends to rectify the Mistakes of many Persons in religious Matters; to prevent and remove many Preju∣dices Persons are disposed to receive and entertain against Religion, through Mistakes, either in themselves or others; (altho' twill still remain a sad Truth, that Men's Hearts are naturally averse to the Power of Religion, though re∣presented in the most agreeable Light.) It likewise tends to convince rational and thinking Persons, who are not given up to Vice and Prejudice, (especially if withall they see it duely exemplified, in the Lives of those who profess it) that of a Truth GOD is in this Religion. By this Means also the false Hopes of Hypocrites are like to be detected and discovered to their View; and thereby an Opportunity given them to escape out of the Snare, that would otherwise have proved fatal to their Souls. Nor

can it fail of affording Comfort to those who are truly Godly to find their own Religion exactly describ'd, and prov'd to be the Religion of God's Word. Hereby some of that Number, who are under grievous Doubts about their own spiritual State, and ready to reckon themselves among the most poor and miserable, may be brought to see them∣selves possess'd of the Pearl of great Price.

And as it is always a Matter of the highest Importance to have true Religion justly represented and described; so there are some Times in special, wherein those Means that have the greatest Tendency to give Persons right No∣tions of it and shew them wherein it's Essence does indeed consist, in Distinction from all delusive Appearances, are in a peculiar Manner seasonable and necessary.

Such are the Times wherein a Diversity of Sentiments in Religion greatly prevails among the Professors of it; when many are disposed to lay the Stress of Religion on those Things which the Word of God makes little or no Account of, or perhaps wholly rejects, and to neglect and wholly pass by those Things wherein the Soul and Essence of it is really contain'd.

How far this is the present State of Religian in some Places, and how much Stress is laid by many upon some Things, as being Effects and Evidences of exalted Degrees of Religion, when they are so far from being of any Impor∣tance in it, that they are really irreligious, a Mixture of self Love, Imagination and spiritual Pride, or perhaps the Influence of Satan transformed into an Angel of Light; I say, how much Stress is laid upon these Things by many I shall not undertake to determine. But 'tis much to be fear'd, that while God was carrying on a glorious Work of Grace, and undoubtedly gathering an Harvest of Souls to himself; (which we should always remember with Thankfulness.) Numbers of others have at the same Time been fatally deluded by the Devices of Satan and their own corrupt Hearts.

It is to be feared that the Conversions of some have no

better Foundation than this, viz. That after they have been under some Concern for their Souls a while, and it may be manifested some very great and uncommon Distress and Agonies, they have on a sudden, imagined they saw CHRIST in some Posture or other, perhaps on the Cross bleeding and dying for their Sins; or it may be smiling on them and thereby signifying his Love to them. And that these and the like Things tho' mere Ima∣ginations, which have nothing spiritual in them, have in∣stantly removed all their Fears and Distresses, fill'd them with Raptures of Joy, and made them imagine they lov'd Christ with all their Hearts; when the Bottom of all was nothing but Self Love. For when they imagin'd that Christ had been so good to them as to save them and as it were to single them out of all the World; they could not but feel some Kind of natural Gratitude to him although they never had any spiritual View of his Di∣vine Glory, Excellency and Beauty, and consequently ne∣ver had any Love to him for Himself.—Or that, in∣stead of having some such imaginary View of Christ as has been mentioned; in Order to remove their Distress and give them Joy, some having had a Passage or per∣haps many Passages of Scripture brought to their Minds with Power, (as they express it) such as that, Son be of good Cheer thy Sins be forgiven thee, and the like; they have immediately apply'd these Passages to themselves, supposing that God hereby manifested his peculiar Favour to them as if mentioned by Name: never considering that they are now giving Heed to new Revelations; there being no such Thing revealed in the Word of God as that this or that particular Person has, or ever shall have his Sins forgiven: nor yet remembring that Satan can with a great Deal of seeming Pertinency (and per∣haps also with considerable Power) bring Scripture to the Minds of Men as he did to Christ himself. And thus these rejoice upon having some Scripture suddenly suggested to them, or impress'd upon their Minds; sup∣posing they are now the Children of God; just as did

the other upon their imaginary Views of Christ.— And 'tis said that some speak of seeing a great Light which fill'd all the Place where they were and dispell'd all their Darkness, Fears and Distresses, and almost ravish'd their Souls; while others have had it warmly suggested to their Minds, not by any Passage of Scripture, but as it were by a Whisper or Voice from Heaven, That God loves them, that Christ is theirs &c. which groundless Imaginations, and Suggestions of Satan have had the same Effect upon them that the Delusions before mentioned had on the others.

And as is the Conversion of this Sort of Per∣sons, so are their after Experiences; the whole be∣ing built upon Imagination, strong Impressions and sud∣den Suggestions made to their Minds: whence they are usually extreamly confident (as if immediately inform'd from God) not only of the Goodness of their own State, but of their infallible Knowledge and absolute Certainty of the Truth of every Thing they pretend to, under the Notion of Religion: and thus all Reason∣ing with some of them is utterly excluded.

But 'tis remarkable of these that they are ex∣tremely deficient in Regard of true Poverty of Spirit, Sense of exceeding Vileness in themselves, such as frequently makes truly gracious Souls to groan being burden'd; as also in Regard of Meekness, Love and Gentleness toward Mankind, Tenderness of Consci∣ence in their ordinary Affairs and Dealings in the World; and 'tis rare to see them deeply concern'd about the Principles and Ends of their Actions, and under Fears lest they should not eye the Glory of God chiefly, but live to themselves; or this at least is the Case in their ordinary Conduct whether civil or religious. But if any one of their peculiar No∣tions which their Zeal has espoused be attack'd, they are then so consciencious they must burn if call'd to it, for the Defence of it. Yet at the same Time when they are so extremely deficient in Regard of these precious

Divine Tempers which have been mentioned, they are usually full of Zeal, Concern and Fervency in the Things of Religion, and often Discourse of them with much Warmth and Engagement. And to those who don't know or don't consider wherein the Essence of true Religion consists, viz in being conformed to the Image of Christ, not in Point of Zeal and Fervency only, but in all Divine Tempers and Practices; I say to those who don't duely observe and distinguish, they often appear like the best of Men.

Now as all proper Means are to be used to cure the Er∣rors of Men's Minds, especially in Things of Religion, and as something of this Nature may therefore seem pe∣culiarly needful especially in some Places; so 'tis hopeful that the Publication of the following small Piece of the Rev. Mr. Shepard's will be made in some Measure ser∣viceable in that Respect. For as it is a Journal of the private Experiences of that excellent and holy Man, de∣sign'd for his own Use; so it contains as it were this true Religion for a Course of Time delineated to us in a very exact Manner: whence we have Opportunity to see with utmost Plainness, what pass'd with him for Religion, what he laboured after under that Notion, and what were the Exercises and Difficulties he met with in pursuance of a religious Life. And those who have any Savour for the Name and Piety of that venerable Man, 'tis hop'd will read his Experiences with Care and Attention; and as they read consider whether there be any Manner of Agree∣ment between his, and theirs. And whoever reads atten∣tively, I'm perswaded must own that he finds a greater Appearance of true Humility, Self-Emptiness, Self-Loathing; Sense of great Unfruitfulness, Selfishness, ex∣ceeding Vileness of Heart, Smallness of Attainments in Grace: I say he must needs own that he finds more Expressions of deep unfeigned Self-Abasement in these Experiences of Mr. Shepard's than some are willing to admit of. And 'tis hopeful the Reader will further ob∣serve that when Mr. Shepard speaks of his Comforts

in Religion as he frequently does of his Satisfaction and Sweetness and Desires to die and to be with Christ; he always gives a solid Account of the Foundation of these Comforts, and mentions some Exercises of Grace from which they proceeded So that they are wholly different from those groundless Joys that arise in the Minds of poor deluded Souls from a sudden Suggestion made to them, that Christ is theirs, that God loves them, and the like.—The Reader will further observe that he va∣lued nothing in Religion that was not done with a View to the Glory of God; as appears by many of his Ex∣pressions, especially that under April 15. where he says,

When I looked over the Day, I saw how I fell short of God and Christ, and how I had Spent one Hour unprofitably: And why? because though the Thing I did was good, yet because I intended not God in it at my last End, and did not set my Rule before me and so set myself to please God; therefore I was unprofitable.

O that others from this Example would learn to lay the Stress of Religion here, and labour that whether they live, they might live to the Lord; or whether they die they might die to the Lord.

There is something in these Papers of the Rev. Mr. Shepard's that seems excellently calculated to be of Ser∣vice to those who are in the Ministry in Particular. His Method of examining his Aims and Ends and the Temper of his Mind, both before and after Preaching, whether he had met with Enlargement, or Straitning, is an excellent Example for others that bear the sa∣cred Character. By this Means they are like to gain a large Acquaintance with their own Hearts, as 'tis evi∣dent he had with his.

May the Blessing of Heaven attend the following Pages, that he who has long been dead may yet speak by them to the Instruction, Conviction and saving Benefit of many Souls.

AUGUST 1747.

MEDITATIONS AND Spiritual Experiences OF Mr. THOMAS SHEPARD.

Nov. 25. 1640. I Found my Heart and Mouth straitned on the Lecture-Day, and for want of En∣largement much troubled. Hence I essayed to humble my Soul before God, which the Lord helped me to do in this Manner:

1. I saw the Vanity of Honour, and therefore, why should I be troubled for the Loss of it by the Want of Enlargements?

• (1) Because it was but a Conceit in Men's Minds, of it self.
• (2) Because it was naturally most dear, and so stood between me and Christ.

2. I saw how fit it was, that the Will of Christ should be done, as well in denying, as in giving En∣largements; though he should strip me naked of them and all other Things.

3. When my Heart objected, can you be content that Christ should lose his Honour, and his Ordinance be blemished by your Straitning? I then saw, I was

to be content to want them in Regard of my own Unworthiness; and so,

• (1) To be vile in my own Eyes for my Sin, that moves the Lord to deny.
• (2) To mourn that he should not glorify himself by me.
• (3) Then to pray him the more earnestly to glorify himself by doing for me by his own Hand.
• (4) I saw therefore that I should leave my self with the Lord for that End, with him who all had, and only did all.

Nov. 29. In Prayer, I saw my Heart very vile, fill'd with Nothing but Evil; nay Mind and Mouth and Life, and all void of God. Hence I prayed to the Lord to possess me again (1) Because he only was good, (2) Because he only was worthy.

Decemb. 1. A small Thing troubled me. Hence I saw, that though the Lord had made me that Night attain to that Part of Humiliation, to see that I de∣served nothing but Misery; yet I fell short in this other Part, viz. to submit to God in any crossing Providence or Command, but had a Spirit soon touch∣ed and provoked. I saw also, that the Lord let Sin, and Satan prevail there, that I might see my Sin, and be more humbled by it, and so get Strength against it.

Decemb. 16. I saw myself very miserable:

1. Because by my Sin I had separated my self from God, and turned far from him.

2. That he was turned in his Face from me.

• (1) I had no Sense of his Majesty, Power, Mercy, Being.
• (2) No Sense of his Love.

3. I saw Sin had shut him from me, and my Un∣belief, when he came to me, shut him out of me. Hence I saw a Need of a Mediator between us, and mourned.

I had a Glimpse of the Fulness of Grace in Christ in Meditation on John 1.14, like a Fountain over-flowing and above all my Conceiving to poor Sin∣ners which come to him. And hence my Heart began to be filled with lively Hope and Assurance.

Decemb. 26. In reading the 12th of Hebrews, That Things shaken and made must be removed, that Things unmoveable may stand; I saw hence three Things:

• 1. That only Christ and his Word shall remain and stand unshaken.
• 2. That it's the sweetest Thing to forsake all Creatures, and there to abide as the Stone on the Foundation.
  • (1) Tis born up with it.
  • (2) It rests there.
• 3. I saw how good it was to depart out of this World and to be with God, perfectly near Him, where no more shaking is, or shall be.

Decemb. 28. I desiring to be led by the Truth, it was suggested, Follow it in your Practise, and prize it dearly, and I will go before you, and lead you into all Truth. But I saw how little I loved the Truths and Ways of God; either practical or specu∣lative Truth.

I saw this Morning, how all my Mercies came from Christ.

• (1) He had plotted them,
• (2) Purchased them,
• (3) Promised them,
• (4) Effected them.—And mine Heart was drawn near to the Lord with these Thoughts.

Jan. 2. I saw (1) Christ was unmoveable (2) That they which trust in Him are so. Psal. ••25. like Mount Sion (3) I saw that true Trust was that which David speaks of Psal. 39. And now, Lord, what Wait I for? my Hope is in thee. His Heart asked him, Dost thou hope for God? What do I,

said he, hope for else? Hence I saw, (1) That true Hope hath other Affections of Desire and Love mixed with it. (2) That he that hopes for nothing but God, and for all Things only from God, hopes truly.—But I found a Temptation and a Stop.—Did I hope for all Things from God and only God's Things? Do I hope and long to be out of the World to be perfectly free from all Sin, and fill'd with all Grace? Here I saw, this I could not do, 'till I did feel the infinite Vileness of Sin, and tasted a Happiness in Ho∣liness, and placed all my Happiness there; which I felt a Want of. And hence I bewailed my Condi∣tion before the Lord in this Respect, and purposed to make up the Breach herein, thorow his Grace; blessing God, I saw the worst of my Heart, as well as the Good of it.

Jan. 6. I saw I could have no Peace at Death, nor Hope that I should go to Christ, unless I did in∣tend to do Christ's Work while I lived. Hereupon I considered, If I love him, my Soul will seek him: So I considered, that I must keep alive my Love to him in my Heart for this End. And why should I love him? Because none was good, or could do me Good, but he. My Self, Sins, Child, could do neither me nor themselves any Good; but only he. Then I consi∣dered, Shall I love him only because he is only good to me?—I then reflected upon my self, and saw my own Vileness and Selfishness; and how fit it was the Lord should never regard me on that Account; yet I resolved to seek him.

This Morning, in Meditation and Prayer; I was tempted to think, no Promise, no nor Command of God to seek the Lord and submit to him, was di∣rected to me; but rather, that he had in Justice for∣saken me, and so let me do what I please. But when I considered the Scriptures, how that they did but ma∣nifest that acting Will of a living God, revealing that

secret Will, which is ever so set as the Word reveals; my Soul was quieted, and I loved the Scriptures the more.

Jan. 9. As I was walking in my Study, musing on my Sermon in Q. 10. That God's Mercy was himself, as his Justice also was; the one to the Men that come to Christ; and to those that are out of Christ, the other: Hence I considered, when I come to Christ there is no Wrath or Justice to devour, but sweet Love: Wrath there is for refusing him, not else. It was then objected, But it is to the Elect only. The Lord let me then see, I had nothing to do with that, but to look on his Truth, which is to them that come to him, that he would stand as a Rock between the scorching Sun and their Souls. Hence my Heart was sweetly ravished, and began to long to die, and think of being with him. And my Heart said, Remem∣ber to comfort your self thus, when you come to lie on your Sick Bed, to lie under this Rock, as in a hot Day. If one saw a Rock in a hot Day, should he Say, That Rock will cool me if I be elected to it, and God has purposed it; so keep off in Fears? No, God has purposed thus to be a Rock to all that come to him, and are drawn by his Love.

Jan. 11. In the Morning, the Lord presented to me the sad State of the Church; which put me upon a Spirit of Sorrow for my Sins, as one Cause, and to resolve in Season to go visit all Families. But first to begin with my Self, and go to Christ, that he may begin to pour his Ointment on me; and then to my Wife, and then to my Family, and then to my Bre∣thren &c.

Jan. 12. On Lecture-Day Morning I began to feel my Heart slight and vilify what I was to deliver. But the Lord put it into my Mind, that though the Truth is a poor, mean Thing in it self, as every Ordi∣nance also is; yet very glorious, as it is appointed and

separated of God for his own Ends. Hence I came to see the Glory of God's Ordinances, where it did lie; and that was, not in themselves, but in God's sanctifying them for most sweet Ends to communicate his Presence and his lovely Pleasantness, and this Love operating with Power.

Jan. 19. I saw my loose Walking without God: and so was put to a Stand, what to say of my self. I saw that Hypocrites are far from humbling, because far from Conviction: they hope something there is in them. But I brought my Heart to consider thus, If my State is good, then there is Cause of deeper Mourning for abusing the Lord, so good; or my State is not good, and then there is Cause of Breaking be∣cause I am so wretched still; and so I went to Prayer.

Jan. 21. I saw God's Wrath kindled against Sin; and hence I saw, and mourned for, the Evil of Sin, so bitter to Him.

I was on the 26th of January much affected with the Lord's Goodness, and brought near to him.

First I found many Lets standing between me and the Lord in Prayer; as the Hiding of his Face, my own Heart turned from him. But then I saw Christ, and his Command to come Hand in Hand with him to the Father. So that metho't I was with God and in his Presence. And then this Truth came in, That if ever I got Good from the Lord in any Ordinance, I must first come into the Presence of God, and set him before me, as Cornelius and his Company did, and as in Psal. 84.—And when I was here, methought it was so sweet to pray and make my Moan to the Lord, as a God that could and was willing to pity. And so I was so knit to God that I intended never to depart from him again. (1) I saw God was my Rest; and hence, why should I depart from him to any other Thing, in Regard of his Goodness? (2) I saw the Riches of his Mercy: Hence I came to get

my Conscience at Rest, and to believe he would hear me, and be with me. (3.) I saw his Glory: and hence saw my whole Life should Rest there, in acting for, and honouring of him, who alone was worthy.

Jan. 28. I considered, being in his Presence, what I did want? And it came in thus: (1) I did want Light, even so much as to make me believe stedfastly. (2) So much Faith as to make me cleave to God constantly. (3) For Want of this I departed from God. (4) By departing, all Woe came a main upon me; both Sin and Misery. And so I understood, better than before, how Unbelief was the Cause of all Woe.

Jan. 30. When I was in Meditation, I saw, When Christ was present, all Blessings were present; as where any were without Christ present, there all Sorrows were. Hence I saw how little of Christ was present in me. I saw I did not cease to be and live of my self, that Christ might be and live in me. I saw that Christ was to do, counsel, direct, and that I should be wholly diffident of my self, and careful for this that he might be all to me. Hence I blessed Christ for shewing me this, and mourned for the Want of it.

At the same Time I saw his Will, and how it was my Sin so to pray, as to think to bring God's Will to mine, with a secret Murmuring, or thinking, 'Tis in vain to seek, if the Lord do not so. For what is this but Pride, and to command Christ, and to be above him, as if I were wiser than he? But I saw the Work of Prayer was, to bring my Will to his. And this gave me much Light, and set my Heart in a sweet Frame. And hence I understood that Place, Whatsoever we ask according to his Will, he heareth us. And this, not only when we pray according to his Will of Pre∣cept and Promise, but when we have done, to bring our Wills to his sweet Sovereign Will, let him do with me what he please; which is his Will of Sovereignty.

Now in the Time of Prayer, I considered, Why the Lord should command me to ask Pardon, Peace, Brokenness of Heart &c? And I considered, that it must needs be that he, might give me the thing pormised: (1) Because his commanding Will is ever attended with a Promise. (2) Because it was for his Glory, as well as my Good, that I should ask. And hence he would give certainly, when I did ask, especially being set on by his Command. Hence my Heart was much moved and melted, to consider of my Unbelief past, and how much I had dishonoured Christ, thus to think of him, and to maintain hard Thoughts of him, that he will not hear. And so began, that Day of Fast, to be∣lieve &c.

February 1. When I was on my Bed a Monday Morning, the Lord let me see, I was nothing else but a Mass of Sin, and that all I did was very vile.—Which when my Heart was somewhat touched with, imme∣diately the Lord revealed himself to me in his Fulness of Goodness with much sweet Affection. The Lord suddenly appeared, and let me see, there was Strength in him to succour me, Wisdom to guide, Mercy in him to quicken, Christ to satisfie: And so I saw all my Good was there, as all Evil was in my self. Here∣upon I began to entertain Thoughts of the Glory of this Mercy, if the Lord would become mine; so that I should be strong with God's Strength, and live by God's Life, and be guided by God's Wis∣dom &c. And should become his, for him to take Care for me and love me, and I to pitch my Thought and Heart on him. I considered, this would be an Exchange of wonderful Love, for me to have God and not my self, and God to have me and give me himself.—

I arose with these Thoughts, and had some Pur∣poses to consider more of them. And on Monday Night, the same Day in Prayer and Meditation,

these Thoughts came in from the Experience which I found then; viz.

• (1) I saw all Fulness in God of all the Good I did need; and so all my Good, or what might be good for me, there: And so consi∣der'd, that the first Thing the Lord reveals to draw the Soul to himself, is the Fulness of Grace in him∣self.
• (2) Being doubting, Is this mine or no? I then con∣sidered, that the Lord did invite me to come to him, because I saw that his Word did not bid me depart from him. And methought, in considering this, the Lord's Word, Come poor Creature, was so sweet, that I came to him.
• (3) Being thus come I considered, I must cleave to him, and be knit to him. And then the Remem∣brance of this, that all my Good, All was in him, made me so to do, in some Measure, with dear Af∣fections.
• (4) Cleaving thus to him, I considered, whether he was become mine now, and I his? And here I stuck a while, being loth to fancy such a Thing, and because he did not cleave to me, as I could feel. But the Night after, God returned this Answer.

(1) That he had applied himself to me, because he had drawn me to himself, who else could never have come. And hence, if he pitied me when far from, much more being now near to him. (2) Because of the Riches and Fulness of his tender Grace, being come he would let it out. (3) Because of his Pro∣mise, Him that cometh I will in no wise cast out; and Hos. 14.4, 5.

Feb. 9. I considered, When I could not bring Christ's Will to mine, I was to bring mine to his. But then it must be thus. (1) That if ever he gives my Desire it will be infinite Mercy, and so his Will is good. (2) If he doth not, yet that I deserved to be cross'd, and to feel nothing but Extremity.

Feb. 14. When there was a Church Meeting to be resolved about our Going away [viz. to Matabeseck.] I looked on my self as poor, and as unable to resolve my Self, or to guide others, or my Self in any Ac∣tion, as a Beast: And I saw my self, in Respect of Christ, as bruitish, as a Brute is in Respect of Man: And hence, (1) I left my self on Christ's Wisdom. (2) I understood the Meaning of Prov. 30. That, tho' Agur knew he had Wisdom, yet in Respect of Christ he was brutish; and also in Respect of Man. As it is said, There is none Good but God; and when God is called only wise.

Feb. 15. I was in Prayer, and in the Beginning of it, that Promise came in, Seek me and you shall live, Hag. 1.

Hereupon I saw, I had Cause to seek him only, alway; because there was nothing else good, and because he was alway good. And my Heart made choice of GOD alone, and he was a sweet Portion to me. And I began to see how well I could be without all other Things with him; and so learnt to live by Faith. On∣ly it came in, Why did I not desire to live with him alone in Heaven? And I saw my Heart very apt to comfort it self in other Things besides him.

Feb. 16. I saw my Heart was not prepared to die, because I had not studied to wean my Heart from the World; but I saw, and sought (1) The Glory of it. (2) The Rest and Peace of it. (3) The Joy of it. When the Truth is, I should (1) see a greater Glory and Ho∣nour of the Father in Heaven and be weaned from that. (2) I should seek Rest there only. (3) I should joy with that Joy only. O Lord, help me so to do, and to pray for it, and study it daily! For what is the Glory, Peace, Rest, Joy of the World, a Creature, a perishing Thing to that of a God?

Feb. 23. On Bed I consider'd, how sweetly the Lord was sometimes with me, and so how I should preserve that Spirit and go forward: But I saw that any little Business, a little Forgetfulness set Christ's Work backward again; Which was sad to me.

Feb. 23. At Night, after Lecture, I saw my Vileness, and saw, I was not to seek my self in Prayer. And hence the Lord made me see nothing but Shame to belong to me. And hence praying for the Church, I asked my Soul, whether those Prayers could be heard? And I found an Answer, The Lord will hear the Prayer of the humble, will not despise their Cry. Which did sweetly chear my Heart, to see my Soul built on such Promises as David did usually comfort himself withal: For I Cry, For I trust in thee, For I am destitute, He will hear the Cry of the Humble.

Feb. 24. I saw how apt I was to think myself something. And the Lord put me on humbling Work, to see I was Worse than nothing, and to seek no other Ad∣vancement or Honour, but Mercy, if I might find that; which I thought was a great, yet holy Am∣bition.

March 2. I was cast down with the Sight of our Unworthiness in this Church, deserving to be utterly wasted. But the Lord filled my Heart with a Spirit of Prayer, not only to desire small Things, but with an holy Boldness to desire great Things for God's People here, and for my self; viz. That I might live to see all Breaches made up, and the Glory of the Lord upon us; and that I might not die, but live to shew forth God's Glory to this and the Children of the next Generation. And so I arose from Prayer with some Confidence of an Answer. (1) Because I saw Christ put it into my Heart to ask.—(2) Because he was true to hear all Prayer.

March 13. I purposed to walk daily more closely with God, according to the Rule.

March 15. The Lord let in much Light. Many sweet Truths I wrote down. He made me also cast the Church on Christ's Care and Love, as being his Charge. I resolved to hang fast about Christ, and to love him dearly, because of his Goodness, as knowing none like him.

March 17. I began to question, whether Christians generally were so good as they seem'd to be? I thought, [1] They were not so good as the Lord would have them to be, from two Arguments. (1) From the Want of Assurance generally among Men. Which argues God is angry, when he doth not appear ac∣cording as he doth use to do to them who love his Name. (2) Because Men are better generally under the Rod, than under Mercy. We see what an ad∣mirable Spirit there is under sore Afflictions, which Men cannot attain to, or keep, but then. Now [2dly] I thought that Men were not so good as they appeared to be, (1) Because very few are recovered to that Frame before Death, which God will bring them to, that get Assurance. Few recover Holiness by Mercy, or feel the eternal Good of sore Afflicti∣ons. (2) Because many eminent Professors fall off and fall away. If they continue long, by some Trial or other they are made transparent. (3) Because, though others of less Holiness may be upright; yet for us that have more Means, not to be more holy and hum∣ble, nay not so humble and holy as those that want Means, cannot stand with Uprightness, generally. My Counsel therefore is, Let all take Heed of being led by Example of Men, and thinking, We are good because we are like them that be so.

March 18. I saw, if my Mind acted, it spun no∣thing but Deceit and Delusion. If my Will and Affec∣tions acted, there was nothing but dead Works. Oh! how do I need Christ to live in me? Yet I saw, If a Man hath Eyes and Light, he will not lean to ano∣ther

to lead him and carry him, as when he wants both. So here, I saw the Lord made me live by Faith, by making me feel a Want of both, to distrust myself and trust more unto the Lord.

March 19. After a Day of Fast. As I saw in the Day, that I had Cause to weep exceedingly for my Sin, because it did lie so heavy, not only on the Father, but upon the Lord Jesus Christ, that they were so wroth with me, that they hid their Faces: and hence I saw that Sin lay heavy on their Hearts, and that therefore they were not only angry, but left me to my Sin, which caused some Sorrow. So after the Day, I saw and said, As Pride was my Sin, so Shame should be my Portion. And many Fears I had of Eli's Punishment for not reproving Sin in Mr. E. when I saw it, and that sharply.—And here I saw that God may, and doth sometimes, make some one godly Man a Terror and dreadful Example of outward Mise∣ries; that all others may fear that be godly, lest his Com∣mands should be slighted, as he did by Eli. And so I saw, the Lord might justly never let my Sins be purged away by Sacrifice.—

March 20. My Heart was much affected with the Riches of God's Mercy, in reading Jer. 36.3. That the very Threatning of God to destroy, is to make Men return and pray, and so live: Which is deep and dear Mercy. And that the Lord deals thus with such as are almost hopeless. Yet if there be any Hope, the Lord pitieth; It may be they will return. Which made me, that Morning, in Prayer to pour out my Heart in true and plain Confession of my Vileness, which I knew, with Groans for Grace.

1641. April 2d and 3d. I was earnest in Prayer for God's Favour and Love, and doubting of it for my self and others, because I looked to God's secret Decree; at last I saw it was God's Decree in the Gospel, and his Will, that whosoever comes to Christ

should have Life and Favour, and so Answer to all Prayers for himself and others; which gave me some sweet Assurance!

After this, I saw the Lord might deny all our Prayers for outward Things. I begg'd therefore for Mercy: And that being granted, I had an End of all my Suits and Requests for myself and others: And there my Heart stayed.

April 4. and 5. On Sabbath-Morning (April 4) I saw the Lord frowning on me in several Provi∣dences.

1. That he was hid from me, whose Face else would shine brighter on me, than ten Thousand Suns.

2. That he was angry with my Prayers, and had been, and is still, angry.

3. Nothing I did, nay none under my Shadow prospered.

4. I saw I wanted Wisdom for my Place, to guide others.

5. I saw I wanted a Spirit of Life within to make me exemplary without.

6. I saw I wanted the Power of the Holy Ghost, and that I was not mighty in Word and Spirit and in Administrations.

7. I saw a secret Eye I had to my Name in all I did; for which I judged my self worthy of Death, but I did not grow weaned from all created Glory, from Honour, Wisdom, Esteem of others &c.

April 5. I saw I did not remember the Sins of my Youth; nay the Sins of one Day I forgot the next Day; and so I spent my Time.

I was on my Bed praying this Morning, and the Lord helped me to pour out my Heart before him. And I saw, I could plead nothing in my self in regard of any Worthiness and Grace, or any Thing in Regard of God's Providence, or Promise; but only his good

Pleasure. I saw it was not, if I will, but if he will, then I should see and believe and live. And here I hung, pleading, how good, how pitiful and tender, how free this Will was. I saw it stood immoveable, till it moved it self toward me. I saw God's Will was, that I should come; but I was afraid of mine own Activity and Working; and hence pleaded, Lord turn me, draw me, and I shall come!—And so I beg∣ged for my Wife, Child, Friends, Church, with Earnestness, that the Lord would give us but Mercy, and not suffer his Name to be polluted by us and by our Debts, though he should not honour himself by us! And if Mercy would make us poor and vile, blessed be it.—And if it would lead us and carry us to some other Place, and cover and over-shadow us, blessed be it. And I had secret Hints, that these Prayers from our Wants were but Preparations for future Mercies; and that we should see his Glory in the Land of the Living.— Then I began to arise after Prayer, without Faith as I thought, yet leaving all to his Grace. But the Lord shewed me, how he had come to me and stirred up Prayers, (1) according to his own Will; (2) For his own Ends. For though I sought my self, yet seeing this, I entreated the Lord to glorify himself, and make us like unto his. And then I saw, how great a Sin it was to make Feeling a Ground and cause of my Faith. And I also tho't, how exceedingly I should honour Jesus Christ, if I did believe, before I felt; How I should honour the Truth of Christ who hath said, he is one that hears Prayers.—I saw also a secret Distemper of my Heart, how I grew faint in Prayer, contrary to the Rule, Luk. 18. viz. not only by Discouragement but also by Encouragement, and Enlargement and Affections in Prayer.

April 10. I had many Thoughts which came in to press me to give my self to Christ Jesus, which was

the dear best Thing I had. And I saw, If when I gave my self to Christ, He would give himself to me again, that it would be a wonderful Change: to have the bottomless Fountain of all Good communicated to me. Thus two or three Days I was exercised about this. And at last, (which was the Day before I fell sick on the Sabbath) in my Study, I was put to a double Question. (1) Whether Christ would take me, if I gave my self to him? (2) Whether I might take him again upon it? And I resolved to seek an Answer to both from God, in Meditation. So after Dinner on the Saturday,

April 11. I gave my self up to the Lord thus;

1. I acknowledged, all I had or was, was his own; (as David spake of their Offerings) and so I acknow∣ledged him the Owner.

2. I resigned not only my Goods and Estate, but Child, Wife, Church and Self unto the Lord, out of Love, as being the best and dearest Things which I have.

3. I prized it as the greatest Mercy, if the Lord would take them, and so desired the Lord to do it.

4. I desired him to take all for a threefold End, (1) To do with me what he would, (2) To love me, (3) To honour himself by me and by all mine.

5. Because there is apt to be a secret Reservation in our seeming Desires, That the Lord should do all; and the Soul gives up it self to the Lord, but 'tis that the Lord may please my Will, and love me; and if he doth not please me, then the Heart dies: Hence I gave up my Will also into the Lord's Hand, to do with it what he please.

6. I gave up also my whorish Lusts; but that he might take them away.

7. That he would keep me also from all Sin and Evil.

Thus I gave my self to the Lord; but then I questi∣oned (2) Will the Lord take me?

Answ. 1. I saw that the Lord desired and com∣manded me to give him my Heart.

2. I saw that this was pleasing to him, as the Con∣trary displeasing.

3. I saw that it was fit for him to take me and do what he would with me.

But then I did question, Will the Lord receive me, and take me to do me good everlastingly? Because I gave up my Friends, and the whole Church to the Lord also, as I did my self: And will the Lord take all them?

Answ. Here I saw the great Priviledge of Men and Wisdom of God in his committing some Men's Souls to the Care of one godly Man, of a publick Spirit; because he, Moses-like, commends them, gives them, returns them all to the Lord again, and so a World of Good is communicated for his Sake.

3d. Question was; But might I take the Lord? And my

Answer was, If the Lord did apprehend and take me to himself, then I might take him, for I had no other to lay hold on.

April 13. I questioned, whether the Lord could Pardon some Sins, or would? And I was made to cast my Eye upon the Gospel. Rom. 3.25. Whom God hath set out, to be a Propitiation, through Faith in his Blood. This Faith I saw to be nothing else, but Receiving God's Kindness, and special Favour with my whole Heart; and so was quite opposite to Doing. And herein, methought, the exceeding Riches of God's Grace appeared, That he should now, after all Wrongs done against him, offer special Love, and require me only to take it, and Possession of it: And so I felt my Heart receive it with my whole Spirit, with all my Heart. Only I questioned, Will the Lord receive me with his Hand again, when I receive it? And I saw, that the Lord had bound himself by Promise so to do, and I prayed that he would do so to me.

April 14. When I was at Prayer (having on my Bed that Morning seen how sweet a Thing it was to be ever near the Lord, and thereby filled with holy, sweet Affections unto God) I saw and I sorrowed a little for my Sins and vile Nature, which was ever carrying and haling me from God, the Fountain of all Goodness and Love; the Blessedness of which, when any see, they cannot but mourn for their Sin.

April. 15. When I looked over the Day I saw how I fell short of God and Christ, and how I had spent one Hour unprofitably. And why? Because, though the Thing I did was good, yet because I intended not God in it, as my last End, and did not set my Rule before me, and so set my self to please God, there∣fore I was unprofitable: And so I desired to be hum∣bled for it. And so I saw the Nature of Fruitfulness, that it consisted in acting for God with Singleness of Heart.

I observed my Heart in walking according to Rule; but I saw it fall off. And this I learned, that when a Man sets himself to walk by Rule, he will either say I cannot, or else will not, but hates the same.

April 16. I saw my Example did (1) Teach, (2) encourage, (3) counsel, (4) confirm others in Sin.

April 18. On Sabbath, I found my Heart full of Enmity, and I saw it was Satan that fill'd it; when I should with Fear have heard what God spake, and with Care received the Word, and kept it in my Heart, by which Christ himself comes in; as I saw by Temptation Satan entred into wicked Men's Hearts: But the Lord humbled my Soul in some Measure, and made me desire Pardon and Healing of Satan's Wound by his Mercy in Christ.

April 25. I saw God would accept me for Christ's Sake; but I feared much, I might not take Christ aright. Hence this came to my Mind, That to take Christ because he commands me so to do, is no Pre∣sumption.

(1) Because this honours him. (2) Because he that will submit to one Command thus, will submit to all. (3) Because I saw, that he that let's in Christ's Command into his Heart, receives Christ; and he that receives one Command thus, receives all Christ, and all the Commands of Christ.

April. 25. While I was at the Word, I saw I had a wild Heart, which was as hard to stand and a∣bide before the Presence of God in an Ordinance, as a Bird before any Man—I saw also, Christ will do what he will, if we do but will. The Church begs all, and Christ doth all; because she is poor and he is rich; She is weak, and he is strong.—Prayer sets Christ on upon his Churches Adversaries.

April 28. I finding my Heart rest on Christ and peaceably quieted there; hence, when I saw the out∣ward good Things which others did enjoy, I was sweetly comforted with this,

yet I have Christ, and Christ is mine, others have other Things.

April 29. I saw this Distemper (when I saw my sudden Anger) viz. That I was troubled at that which crossed me, not Christ, and pleased only with that which pleased my self, and not Christ Jesus. For [1] in all Wrongs and Crosses there is a double Cross. (1) That which crosseth me, (2) That which crosseth Christ: [2] In all good Things there is 1. Somewhat that pleaseth me. 2. Somewhat that pleaseth Christ. My Heart is pleased or troubled as Things please or trouble me without my having any due Regard to Christ; and that is my Sin.

April 30. I questioned, whether any Sin was a greater Evil than Unbelief? And I saw that Union to Christ was my greatest Good: Hence Unbelief is a greater Sin than any other Sin. And here I saw God's rich Grace that had not only made my Disunion from Christ by Unbelief a Misery, but also the greatest Sin, as being cross to his Command: And hereby

my Heart was affected. And I saw that whatever my Sin was, yet now there was no Sin like Disunion from Christ by Unbelief; and that I ought not to commit the greatest Sin in departing from Christ, be∣cause of less Sins against the Law. For it was an unspeakable Mercy to make my Union to Christ the greatest Good, my greatest Good. 1. Because I can never in this Life perfectly obey and cleave to the Will of Christ.

2. Because if that be Blessedness, then once blessed, always blessed: So once united ever united. So I saw the Gospel, in commanding me to believe, did com∣mand me to partake of the greatest Blessedness; and who would not be glad of that? Adam's Happiness was, to do God's Will; but ours to cleave to God in Christ.

May 5. I saw I was without all Sense, as well as Sight of God, estranged from the Life of God: For I saw I respected Man more than God, to please him rather than God. And why so? Because I was sen∣sible of the Presence of Man. So if I had commit∣ted any Sin against Man, I should be ashamed; but I blush not before God. I was not sensible of his Glory, Majesty, Beauty and Love. And hence I had no Sense of Sin, because I had no Sense of God. —And hence with Sadness I saw my Widow-like Separation and Disunion from my Husband and my God, and that we two were now parted, who had been nearer together once. And I saw, (though not deeply) what my Iniquities are, to preferr the Creature above the Creator blessed for ever? And as the Life is, the Sense is.

May 6. The Lord Jesus revealed himself thus to me viz. That as he was Mercy and Love to all meek, hum∣bled believing Sinners that came to him; so he was Fire and Wrath against all obstinate Sinners, that would not bow to him: but go on in their Sin. And so I satisfied that Doubt; when my Heart said, Why shall I be

troubled for Sin, seeing God in Christ takes it not much to Heart, but forgives, bears, pardons and he was all Love and no Wrath in him? I replied again, He is so to all meek ones, that stop, stoop and yield: But he takes the least Sin exceedingly to Heart and very ill, when Men will go on in it. My Heart was much comforted with the Knowledge of this, and wrought to some more Fear and Love to him, and resolved to give up my self to Him.—I saw also the Greatness of Sin, to strike him by it, who is the Glory, of Heaven and Earth, and who takes it ex∣ceeding ill at my Hands, if I do, or especially per∣sist in it. The Lord also press'd my Spirit to please Christ in every Thing; not in some Things only, but to be ever pleasing him—I saw also, that I was not in good earnest desirous that Christ would take away Sin by the Loss of Name or Goods, &c.

May 7. I saw in Prayer, that before I, or any other could seek or serve the Lord, I was to set up the Lord in the Throne of my Mind and Heart, both in his Greatness, and in his Goodness to me. And the Lord gave me some Glimpse of both that Morning; yet I saw that all was little enough to make me seek him and serve him. For I saw my Heart averse from his Will, and that the Lord must be exceeding great and dear in my Heart, or else it would never seek and serve him. And so I con∣sidered, If it be so hard to seek the Lord when he is set up, how difficult to seek or serve him when he is cast down? Surely if there be any Services or Seekings without setting up the Lord, they are Hypocrisies.

I saw also, how great my Sin would be, not to be acquainted and grow familiar with the Lord; when he hath humbled himself into my Flesh for that End, and to make a near Conjunction between himself and me. For we are joined to Man, who is Flesh of our Flesh, sooner, than with an Angel, or with God.

When the Devil comes to make a Covenant, he as∣sumes the Shape of a Man. And here I saw that our Union is first to the humane Nature, and so to the Divine: Because the Divine Nature comes down into the humane, that it may be a Mean of Con∣junction of the Soul to God, and of God to the Soul.—And I saw, that as we are sooner conjoined to Man; so God in Man is sooner conjoined, or he more easily conjoins himself to us, who is filled with real humane Bowels for that End, and hath suffered that no Justice might stop him in his Work.—

I considered, that when Prayer is vehement for a Blessing, and our Humiliation and Breaking, from Sin is suitable to our Affection, God ever answers them. Hence, let Men observe, if they are earnest for any outward Blessing, and their Hearts are stirred up so as to believe they shall have it, let them see if their Humiliation was proportionable. Hence also 'tis, that when the Lord denies us, 'tis ever to humble us, which is Mercy; and we shall see that we have most need of that. And hence also when humbled, we may reap the Fruit of Prayers made many Years before.

On Saturday [May 8] at Night I saw Union to God to be the greatest Good; and my Sin in not cleaving wholly to him with all my Heart, the Height of all Sin, from Hos. 10.1. Hence in Prayer I saw Sin my greatest Evil. 1. Because it had separated me from the greatest Good. 2. Because it kept my Heart with a secret Love to it from returning again to him, as my greatest Good.—3. Nay I saw that it made me make my Death my Life; viz Neglect of living and acting for God my very Life; and my War with GOD, my Peace; and my Damnation my Salvation: Hence I mourned.—

May 12. When I was stirred up to give Thanks for Mercys, I was put to a stand, Why not for Evils as well? Seeing both were from God's Will. And the Lord

put it into my Heart to see that it is because God's chiefest, dearest Attribute is honoured more that Way. And so I saw I was not to be thankful because the Blessing suited me, but because God's dearest and most beloved Attribute of Grace and Mercy was glorified hereby—

I saw also, how one Sin begat another in this Coun∣try, and we did not cease to increase therein. And hence I saw, what just Cause the Lord had to strike us with sore and great Wants, and yet how, if Sin were repented of by preaching against it, the Lord would return. So I saw it my Duty to preach against them.—

May 18. In Prayer I was ashamed that I should not serve the Lord, as I had done my Lust and my Sin.

I saw also that God was beforehand with Men. (1) In that he had reconciled the World to himself. (2) That he did beseech them to be reconciled. Now I saw that all the Work did lie upon Man. For if the Party offended first seek to be Friends, I need not call in Question his Willingness, but my own wicked Ma∣liciousness. Here I saw, that if it be so with Man, and he do not come in to him that seeks for Favour, 'tis either (1) from Contempt; or (2) Anger, quar∣relling at his Dealing; or (3) Malice, yet the Lord wraps up all in one Word, Enmity.

May 21. In Prayer I desired two Things (1) That God only might be sweet, (2) That his Will might be mine. At which Time it came into my Heart, If you sincerely desire these two, you will desire to be in Heaven, where these two are fully perfected. For I saw though Death was naturally terrible, yet I secretly rejoiced to think of that infinite Mercy, when God alone shall fill my Soul with his immediate Infi∣niteness.

On the Sabbath, May 23. I came to a serious

Consideration, what Sins were between God, and me, that eclipsed his Love? and I saw my Evils, and re∣solved with more Care to walk with him, and to be humbled for Evils past. And found my Heart in looking on those Duties I was to do, to be afraid, lest I should fail in the Performance of them. And so I saw, if I laid the Evidence of my Salvation on my Works, it would be various and uncertain as my gracious Works were: And yet on the other Side; I saw that if I did not walk holily in all Things be∣fore God, I should not,—I could not have Assurance of my good Estate. So that here I was at some Stand. And in Musing, thus the twenty-fifth Psalm came to Mind, wherein God promiseth the meek and humble to shew them his Covenant. And so I saw the Lord at that Time revealing his Covenant unto me; on which I was to build my Assurance, not on my Performance of that Covenant by my own Strength and Graces. Now God's Covenant I saw thus;

1. I saw him call me to himself, that he might make good his everlasting Covenant: So I came.

2. I saw that his Covenant was, that he would Pardon, heal and work all the Works of his People.

3. I saw he would do all this for me, if I would by Faith depend and rest upon the Grace of his Cove∣nant so to do.

4. This Dependance on him to fulfil his Cove∣nant to sanctify, quicken, humble me &c. I took to be my Evidence of Love, though I should fail in Duties, or God should leave me justly to my Sins.

May 29. I was musing on the Witness of the Spirit, And I considered as Men had their Voice; so that which he spake, whose Voice is most sweet, is witnessed to the Hearts of his People by the still Voice of his Spirit.

I saw also that Christ lives, and hath overcome Death; and hence is ready to quicken all his he died

for; not to a Life different from his own, but with his own Life, and brings them to it, which was mighty thorough God; and this was a sweet Support to me in Prayer, when I felt a Need of Redemption from all Sin by this Life.—So I saw that God did live, when he spake, when he quickened, and did work; and he was then a living God to me, when I heard his Voice and felt his Works upon me and in me; And to want these was to be estranged from the Life of God.

May 30. On Sabbath Day after Sermon I saw that my Sin was (1) To look on my Ministry's Faults, and be discouraged. (2) To look on their good, and be puffed up. (3) If all was done well, then to look upon them, as if they were, Absalom-like; that from the Head to the Foot of them there was no Ble∣mish. But I loathed my self for it, and pray'd for everlasting Blessing on them.

June 3. When Tidings came to me of the casting away of Mrs. E••ton, I did learn this Lesson; When ever any Affliction came not to rub up my former, old, true Humiliation, but to be more humbled. For I saw I was very apt to do the first. And I blessed God for the Sight of this Truth.

June 6. On the Sabbath I desired the Lord to bind my Hands, or rather cut them off, I mean my vile Will and Affe••••••••••s, whereby I have so oft smote him. And I saw what good Reason there was that, as I had struck the Lord with my Will; now when I am convinced of my Sin, those Hands should first em∣brace him by Faith that have smote him; and that I should strike my self upon my Thigh, and mourn for, and morti•••• my Sin in Abusing the Lord.

June 8 I saw it my Duty to be and live in every Place as Christ in this World: To do that which he would do, and live and walk as he would walk, if

here present— 1 John 2.4. We ought to walk as he walked; especially 1. In Love. 2. In Meekness. And my Heart was much affected with this Truth. And my Heart se∣cretly relented to think, that seeing Christ is not known;

1. What Glory would this be to Christ?

2. What a Presence of Christ would there be in this Place?

3. What sweet Peace would it yield me when I came to die, if I should live thus or seek to do so?

O Lord imprint this Image upon me, and give the Spirit of this thy Son to me.

June 12. I thought if God was the Fountain of all Blessedness, that then (1) My Sins were great which stop'd it up, that I am so miserable, and (2) That I was the more miserable to stand without, and hear of the good Things in him, and taste them not, enjoy them not.

June 13. On the Sabbath being weak in my Body and Spirits, I asked,

Can God make Use of such a poor Wretch to preach the Gospel by?

And I considered Paul, (1) His Presence was mean. (2) His Utterance weak. (3) His Weakness much. He was with the Thessalonians in much Weakness; and it may be meant of bodily Infirmities, as well as bodily Persecutions. (4) The Doctrine he delivered was but common, Repent and Believe. (5) He preached this in no Wisdom of Words, but plainly; and yet the Lord accounting him faithful, blessed him. So the Lord could do by me most weak.

June. 17. I saw that as by Christ I had Access to the Father, so by Faith and Prayer of Faith I had Access to Christ.—Again I saw how many if not most Men, were led and governed by certain Humours. Hence sometimes light, sometimes sad: And Men were hence religious in Humour, discouraged also by the Hu∣mours of their Body.

The Lord also brought my Soul to place all my Happi∣ness in being one in and with Christ, and to have Mind and Heart only placed on him. Hence I saw, this was Heaven on Earth. But I considered, why should I meddle with other Matters then? And I consider∣ed, I must be like to Christ in communicating Good to others, as well as being united to him. And so I saw that, but for the Sake of others, and their Good, I would meddle no more with this World. And this set my Heart right and in a sweet Frame. And I saw it was a Sign I sought not my self in a Duty, when I was (Autarchees † and) satisfied; filled with God and Christ in my self. Then all my Acts arise, not from Indigency and Want in my self and so for my self, but for GOD and for the Sake of others.

I saw also how imprudent I was, and how unwilling to any holy Duty, and knew not my Seasons of advis∣ing, admonishing &c. Hence I saw a Need of the Force, Energy and Impulses of the Spirit strongly to press me to my Way, and carry me on in it; as it did Paul in going to Jerusalem, and when he was a while at Athens, and as it did CHRIST, when he went to the Desert, Mat. ••4.1. Ekballei. And hereupon I resolved to pray for this, as it might be one special As∣surance to me that I was in God's Way and doing his Work.

June 20. On the Sabbath-Day, in reading Beza on the 6th of Romans, I saw clearly two Things; (1) That the Saints receiving Christ by Faith have good Cause to be at perfect Peace in their own Conscience, there being by Christ no more Conscience of Sin; (2) That by this Faith they had by Christ's Death Abo∣lishment of Sin. And I saw that this Faith was an

Adherence to Christ; and such a Kind of Adherence to him and Resting on him, as that the Soul by dear Esteem and Love clings so to him, as that it gets in∣to him. It's so close an Adherence, even as the Branch gets into the Stock. And so I saw Faith doth not on∣ly cleave to Christ, but it sticks in Christ, and so sucks Life and Vigour from Christ by Esteem and Love; and this I prayed for. And by this I saw, how ma∣ny fall short of true Faith, whose Faith never makes them stick close unto Christ Jesus.

June 27. On Sabbath, when I came Home, I saw the Hypocrisy of my Heart; that in my Ministry I sought to comfort others and quicken others, that the Glory might reflect on me, as well as on God. Here∣upon I considered, how ill the Lord took this, and how averse he was from this Self-seeking. By the Sight of which I laboured to be averse from it my Self, and purposed to carry it in Mind as one strong Means to help against it for Time to come.

June 27. I was in Prayer, perswaded and stirred up to remember that by every Thing I should seek to grow humble, to pick somewhat out of all Providences for that End; because I saw my Heart grow light so quickly. And I farther considered, To pick Joy in God, and Loathing of my self in every Thing which I saw in him, or in his Providence, was the only Way to grow in Grace, and improve his Providences a∣right.

June 28. I saw my Life, Being, Body, Soul, were in God, and all Good from him. Hence I saw, my Heart should be carried only toward him in Love and Delight. And I saw from hence my Sin, and the Advantage Sin had against me was by Means of the Creature and Pleasures there. But when I saw all my Good in God and coming from God into them, my Heart was sweetly calmed and endeared to God. And I saw how I ought to walk with God. And this

I found did strengthen me against Sin, and made me resolve to be the Lord's.

July 2. I saw I was no Debtor to the Flesh, to serve it, either (1) for any Good it ever did me, (2) or by any Power over me, by Divine Justice satisfied in Christ.

I saw it my Duty, not only to pray, but to live by Prayer and Begging; for I observed how some of God's People did so. Hence I saw, I was not to live by Providence only, but by Prayer, (1) for my self, Body, Soul, (2) for my Children, and Family, at home and abroad, (3) for the Churches. Hereupon I asked the Question, Would the Lord have me to live by Prayer thus? And I saw he would have me, because he had given me an Heart frameable to his Will therein; and it did much refresh me to think, that the Lord should desire me to live thus, as if he took Delight in my sinful Prayers. And so I con∣sidered, how I might live by Prayer? And I saw (1) I should see what Evils accompany every Thing I go about, (2) what Good I need to have conveyed by every Thing. There are special Evils of Sin to be avoided, and special Good Things to be con∣veyed. And I asked, why I was to live by Prayer? And I thought, (1) Because it did honour God, (2) kept me from many unknown Evils which else would befal me: (3) Because else I could not have Assu∣rance any other Prayers should be heard, which were not my Life. To pray by Fits is not the Way to find Help in Time of Trouble.

July 7. When I was at Meeting to receive in Mem∣bers, I considered of the Reason why the Lord helped me to pray, and yet did not answer me; nay Things did not stir nor move, but rather Things in Church and else-where in Men's Spirits went worse and worse. So I saw hereby, what need I had of all the Prayers of others, and to get their Prayers with Fastings with

me for those Blessings which come hardly from the Lord. Yet I saw the Lord could answer easily and suddenly, but he would not: And the Reason was, (1) Because he did delight in my Prayers, and hence he kept me (Musician-like) asking; (2) Because he delighted in the Prayers of many together; (3) Be∣cause he would let me see I did need the Prayers of others, as well as my own. And I saw also that all Prayers of Faith are heard instantly in Heaven, but many Times they are not heard from Heaven until many Shoulders are set to the Work.

July 7. I saw that notwithstanding all my Sins, I should see there was no Condemnation to me, nor should I fear it; (1) being in Christ by Faith; (2) Walking after the Spirit, because I resisted and mourned under the Flesh and Body of Death, as Paul did. Yet I saw, I should look upon all my Sins with an Eye of Lamentation, as being, (1) cross to God, (2) so contrary to the Life of Christ in me. For I saw that I made a Difference of some Sins in a Christian; (1) Some did cause God's fatherly Anger, and were more wilful, and Conscience upbraided me for them; (2) Others were Weaknesses, for which Christ pitied me. And here my Heart began to think, What need of such bitter Mourning for them? Now I saw, the Apostle (Rom. 7.) mourned alike for all. He feared none for Condemnation; he mourned for all with bitter Lamentation. So I was sweetly en∣lightned, and purposed, thus to walk; and not to mourn only for such Sins, as did hide the Face of my God, but for Sin in General, which goes against his Life, yea is contrary to the End of Christ's Death, and cross to the Will of God. And I saw it my Duty to mourn, and that bitterly with unutterable daily Sighings under the▪

July 8. I was 〈◊〉〈◊〉 to think that I had been out of my Way 〈◊〉〈◊〉 occasioning any to come to this

Wilderness among so many Snares. Yet considering, that through God's Providence we were fallen here; I saw it was my Duty, and purposed it should be my Work to do all that I could, and be the more earnest with God in Prayer, and to fingere Fortunam, make the best of what is, because bad, at best.

I saw also, how some godly Men and Friends, who, though they were sincere, yet were very weak, and could not go thorow the present Temptations of the Place of Wants, &c, with that Contentedness and Sweetness of Spirit, as was meet. And when I saw that possibly it might not come from Want, but Weakness of Grace only; my Bowels yearned towards Christ's weak ones, and I was secretly raised up with Hopes, that the Lord Jesus would pity them, be∣cause they were weak and faint, and would lead those gently who were with Young. And it was special Ground of Faith and Prayer for them.

July 9. Being suddenly surprized by a Sin before the Sacrament, my Conscience was awakened, and my Heart checkt me for it. Yet the Lord turned the Meditation of the Evil of this Sin to great Good to me; viz, Not only to set my Heart against it and all other Sins, but the Lord thereby let in a most glorious Light (as I thought) of his Gospel and of the Way of Believing for Pardon, more than ever I had: which was this;

I saw that the Nature and Practice of a Man awak∣ened with Sin was this, viz. when Conscience smites him with the Fear and Terror of God,

Dost think God loves thee, or hath sanctified thee, who dost rush upon such Evils again and again? No, he is angry with thee for thy Sin.

Hereupon the Heart being desirous of Favour thinks secretly thus; As Sin hath provoked God's Anger, so, he being merciful, I hope the leaving off my Sin and turning from my Sin will pacify and please the Lord again; and so doth

secretly think to please God and pacify God, and so indeed to satisfie God for that Sin, and so forsakes Sin. And now in Time of Sickness, or Horror thinks, that the Lord is pacified and pleas'd with this, according as some Scriptures seem to speak. Or else it secretly thinks, Faith in Christ's Blood and Turning from Sin also, both together do please, and that now all is quiet. Hereupon, remembring that Christ's Blood appre∣hended by Faith was the only Atonement, I con∣ceived this was not the Way that I should walk in; but rather this:

1. I saw that when the least Sin, as well as the greatest, was committed, my first Work was to see that I (in my self considered) must die eternally for that Sin, and so should pass Sentence upon my Self for it. And here I saw that by this the Elect did, and that I should, see how cross and contrary and grievous Sin is to God, who is so incensed by it, as he will be the Death of a Sinner for it. And so I saw that hereby my Soul should be humbled aright, feeling Sin by this Means, not only as bringing eternal Death on me, but as being cross and provoking to God. And this I saw was to be done, not only at first Conversion, but all my Life; Jer. 31.20. that so hereby the Soul might increase in Humiliation and in an high Esteem of the Blood of Jesus Christ.

2. I saw, that next to this I was to fly to Christ's Blood and Righteousnes for Satisfaction and Peace. And here I saw three Things (1) That this was Faith, to fly to Christ's Death in Sense of my own Death▪ (2) That this Act was exceeding pleasing to God, even after all Sins: nay that it did pacify God, not because of the Merit of the Act, but because of the Worth of the Object, which is the Satisfaction of Christ's Death it apprehends, and that this doth please him, because of his good Pleasure and Purpose of Grace, and because he will be so pleased: (3) That this

Satisfaction alone thus apprehended, did perfectly and without any Holiness or Reformation of mine pacify and please the Father; or else I saw, that Christ's Death and Merits were imperfect and insufficient. And if so, If this alone pleas'd him, then the Condition of the Gospel was not thus, viz. If you be∣lieve in Christ's Death for Righteousness, Pacification and Life, and if you be sanctified and obey the Will of Christ, you shall then live, and God the Father will be pacified toward you by both these Means, but if you believe in Christ Jesus and his Death, by this only you shall please God for whatever Sin you have committed. I saw the Conscience of a Sinner could never be quieted until it did rest on this Testi∣mony only, in seeing God pleased that Moment wherein it flies out of self to the Death of Christ— Now because I knew the Lord required Obedience and Sanctification, hence a Third Thing came clearly to mind.—

3. I saw, that resting thus on Christ, my Conscience should be quieted, that God was now pacified, and that I did now please him fully in Point of Satisfaction, yet I saw I was now required to do the whole Will of God, and to conform thereunto, not in Way of Satis∣faction, to pacify God's eternal Anger, but in Way of Thankfulness for this the Lord's Love in being pleased with me, and that wherein I fell short of it, I should be deeply humbled with Paul, Romans 7. but where∣in I did any Thing according thereto, to be thankful for it, as Paul also was, Rom. 7. when he was glad that in his Mind he served the Law of God—Now because I saw I could do nothing, my Will being desperately averse from Christ's Will; Hence I saw (1) If Christ had pacified the Father and pleased Divine Justice for my Sin, that he would also by his Death deliver me from my Sins. (2) I saw that Christ did not require me now justified to subsist in my self, and to be Self-confi∣dent,

and to do with and from my own Strength, but that he would give me the Law of the Spirit of Life, which would enable me; and that the Obedience he would accept, as a Token of Thankfulness, was this, (1) That I should rest and rely upon his Death for the Spirit of Life, and on his Spirit for the Power of it to enable me to do his Will continually. (2) That if the Lord did enable me, I should be exceeding thank∣ful for it, if not, that I should be exceedingly humbled daily under it, and so still forget Things which be behind, and reach to Things that be before. Relying on Christ for his Spirit I saw did and doth come and arise in all the Saints from the Law writ in the Heart, after it feels God pacified, and the Law of God without, which being reconciled together, and the Soul feeling it's own Weakness to please it, hence it relies on the Spi∣rit of Christ Jesus and thereby finds Help; the Spirit within us living on the Spirit without us, as the elemen∣tary Bodies, on the Elements in other Bodies. So I saw, that by Faith in Christ's Death I pleased the provoked Justice and pacified the Anger of God; by the Law of God writ in my Heart and Obedience of the Spirit, I was pleased and did now please the Law of God, as now given to me by Christ Jesus.

Now when the Lord did shew me all this, I did bless him with my Soul for it, and I was taught how to walk more orderly. I saw (1) This was the right Way of Believing and finding Favour, because it car∣ried the Soul humbly from the Beginning to the End and exalted God's Grace. (2) I saw that hereby the Saints came to mourn more for Sin (which Familists do not) than any other Men. For when I see I must die for Sin, that makes me mourn; when I see how cross it is to God, that makes me mourn still; when I believe and see, only Christ's Death can pacify, and that I being come to it, it shall pacify, this makes me mourn more, and that bitterly, which no graceless Heart

can do, or hath Cause to do. (3) I saw, that in preaching Duties of Obedience to the Saints, I should be careful how I set them a Measure, or set them to do them either to pacify Anger, or to perform them in their own Strength, or to make Doing of them an Evidence of Grace, without inserting, Unless they go to Christ and rely on him for his Grace, enabling them thereunto; and to preach them to them only as Duties of Thankfulness; to others as Hand-writings of Death. (4) Hereby I saw how Sanctification was an Evidence of Reconciliation. (1) I saw, where it was not, there was no Reconciliation. (2) That where it was, there was Reconciliation. (3) That mediately it was an Evi∣dence, and I was to take it as an Evidence of Re∣conciliation, Mediately, I say, because Faith in Christ's Blood doth immediately assure me of it. But this, (viz. Sanctification) assures me that my Faith hath truly apprehended Christ Jesus. 4. I saw that Faith did im∣mediately evidence Reconciliation. (1) Because Faith is required in the Gospel as the only Condition; Sanc∣tification is required to come after it, is wrought after it, and commanded after it. (2) Because I saw the Apostles had their Reconciliation by this Evidence. Rom. 5.1. Being justified by Faith, we have Peace with God. (3) I saw that Sanctification was not to come in to Pacification of God's Anger and Displea∣sure, and therefore not immediately to the Pacification of Conscience. For Conscience being smitten with Sense of eternal Death, nothing can pacify Conscience, but that which can pacify Justice, and that is the Death of Christ Jesus apprehended by Faith. Consci∣ence only hath Quiet in Christ's Death, my Peace is only in it; but Faith only is that by which I came by it; because Faith makes it mine own, brings it near me, and now it quiets me. It is not by an immediate Testimony, that Christ's Death is mine: for that may be a Delusion, being without the Word;

but Christ's Death apprehended by me, and so testified by the Word and Spirit; the Word speaking, Every Believer shall live; the Spirit of Adoption (enabling the Soul to see the Work of Faith in itself) speaking, Thou, Believer shalt live. Which Spirit is given im∣mediately after my Justification by Faith, viz. in my Adoption to Sonship.

Now having Peace by Faith, my Conscience will question, Is thy Faith right? Now my Sanctification bears witness to that and so mediately shews me, that my Peace is right. In a Word,

The Matter of my Peace, or that wherein I have Peace, is Christ's Death. The Means of this my Peace is Faith only. The immediate Evidence of my Peace and Pacification is Faith apprehending Christ's Death. The Evidences being (1) the Word of the Gospel, (2) the Spirit of Adoption discovering the Work of Faith in the Heart. The Evidence of the Truth of Faith, and so of my Peace is Sanctification. This only I question, whether Faith saith, My Peace is made, and Sanctification saith, Thy Faith is good. Only I add, it's possible for some sincere Christians first to see their Sanctification and Holiness, and so their Faith and Peace. But the Question is, Whether they should not first see their Faith and Peace, and so their Sanctification arising from thence? And so as Mr. Culverwell notes, not build their Faith upon their Life but their life upon their Faith, and their Faith upon God's free Grace.

(5) I saw that the Reason why Faith in Christ's Blood, and not simply in Christ did justify and pacify, was because an humbled Sinner ever feels and sees Death before him; and hence the Lord, according to his Need, opens Christ and presents him thus to him. As also, why Paul called Sin a Body of Death. (1) Because he saw he must die for it; the Remnants of Sin were Death. (2) Because they were cross to the

Life of Christ in him. All this was the Day before the Sacrament July 10. 1641. And I thought now I felt some Growth, which I came for in other Sacra∣ments.

On the Evening of this Day before the Sacrament, I saw it my Duty to sequester my self from all other Things for the Lord the next Day. And (1) I saw, I was to pitch on the right End, (2) on the Means, all Things to lead me to that End. I saw mine own Ends were, to procure Honour, Pleasure, Gain to my self and not the Lord: and I saw how impossible it was for me to attain those Ends I should attain, viz. To seek the Lord for himself, to lay up all my Honour, Pleasure &c. in him. Or if I did, it was for myself, because good unto me. So the Lord helped me thus. To see,

(1) If Honour, Pleasure was good; Oh, how good was he who gave them, and could have cut me short of them? And so my Heart was raised up a little unto God.

(2) I saw my Blessedness did not chiefly lie in receiv∣ing Good and Comfort from God, and in God; but in holding forth the Glory of God and his Virtues. For 'tis, I saw, an amazing, glorious Object, to see God in a Creature; GOD speak, GOD act: The Deity not being the Creature, and turned into it, but filling of it, shining thorow it: To be covered with God, as with a Cloud; or as a Glass Lantern, to have his Beams penetrate thorow it. Nothing is good but God; and I am no further good, than as I hold forth God. The Devil overcame Eve to damn her Self by telling her, she should be like God. O that's a glorious Thing! And should not I be holy, and so be like him indeed?

Hereupon I found my Heart more sweetly drawn to close with God, thus as my End, and to place my Happiness in it: And also I saw, it was my Misery to

hold forth Sin and Satan and Self in my Course: And I saw one of those two Things I must do. Now be∣cause my Soul wanted Pleasure, I purposed thus to hold forth God, and did hope it should be my Plea∣sure so to do, as it would be my Pain to do other∣wise.

I also considered of the Nature of a Sacrament; and I thought if Christ was here present to prepare and bless the Ordinance, I should believe. But I saw (1) Should I not believe, Christ did give me Meat, un∣less every Day he did lay the Cloath? (2) I saw, Should not I believe the Word by Ministers, because Christ doth not speak it with his own Mouth? (3) I saw, Christ did command his Ministers to do this in Remembrance of him; and if for Christ's Sake that he might be remembred and loved they do bless it, then he is faithful to make his Body and Blood present there, and so to make the Elements, Seals.

I saw also that the Elements were not only Seals to assure me that Christ's Word should be made good to me believing; but also that Christ by sacramental Union was given to me. I saw also, that my Heart did say and conclude, I shall fall from Christ after this Sacrament, and have no more Strength against my Sins or Weaknesses than heretofore, nor Ability to live to him. Then I saw that the Sacrament was a Pledge that certainly I should have Strength; and also that this that I should have was a most sweet Thing, viz. The Life of Christ now begun and perfected here∣after.

I saw also that the Sacrament was made to confirm this main Promise of the Covenant, That he will give himself away to all that will but only take him thank∣fully and gladly. And I saw, that it was my Duty every Sacrament to fasten that Promise and repeat it again, that so it might be of Power and Use to God's People in due Time.

July 22. I saw the Lord was won't to succour and hear the Prayers of his People so constantly for all Things, that when he denied them their Requests, they took it to Heart as though they were undone ut∣terly. Hab. 1.2, 3. and I saw it my Duty so to do, and so to be affected, when God refused to hear my Cries.

July 22. At Boston-Lecture, when Mr. Cotton was giving Thanks for the safe Arrival of the Passengers lately come over; my Heart questioned the Thing, why I should be so thankful for them? And I consi∣dered, if it were my own Case I would have Thanks so given for me, and glad of it. Then I considered (1) That they were dear to Christ and beloved of him; an hence my Heart began to love them dearly, and hence I rejoiced and was thankful. (2) That the Lord should so reveal his Glory on them in preserving of them.

July 23. At Charlestown-Lecture, I hearing out of John 17.21. That Disunion and Sitting loose from Christ and his People was a Means to hide, and did, as it were, deny that Christ was come as sent of the Father. My Heart was hence much affected with shame and secret Sorrow, purposing to cleave closer to Christ that only Christ might be seen in me.

As I was riding to the Sermon that Day, my Heart began to be much disquieted by seeing almost all Men's Souls and Estates out of Order, and many Evils in Mens Hearts, Lives, Courses. Hereupon my Heart began to withdraw it self from my Brethren and others: But I had it secretly suggested to me, that Christ, when he saw Evils in any, he sought to amend them, did not presently withdraw from them, nor was not perplexed and vexed only with them. And so I considered, if I had Christ's Spirit in me, I should do so. And when I saw that the Lord had thus overcome my Reasonings and visited me I bless'd his Name. I saw also, the

Night before this, that a Child of God in his Solitari∣ness did wrestle against Temptations, and so overcome his Discontent, Pride and Passion: Another did reason and so wrestle for his Temptation of Discontent &c, and was overcome. Jonah indeed did reason for his Passion for a Time; but the Lord overcame his Spirit.

Aug. 1. On Sabbath-Day when the Lord had gi∣ven me some comfortable Enlargements, I searcht my Heart to see my Sin. And I saw,

1. There was some poor little Eye in Seeking the Name and Glory of Christ: But I saw it was but little, and that there was not such a burning Desire to ad∣vance it, as there should be. And hence I saw, I was to be humbled for this.

2. I saw, that though I did seek Christ's Glory, yet I sought it not only, but my own Glory too. And hereupon thinking, whether a Man might not have some Respect to his own Glory; The Lord taught me, that in meerly humane Acts, I might have some Respect unto it; but in the Ministry and that kind of Work, and so in all Work whereby I draw nigh unto him, this was such Work above me, and so wholly di∣vine and God's Work, that I should here have no Re∣spect to my self together with God. For I saw, God might have left me on the Dunghill, and not have betrusted me with only such Work as this is. I hereupon desired to be humbled, and that my Sins might be removed, that the Lord might succeed and bless me. And here I saw my Heart popishly car∣ried, to think God's Grace would work upon the Removal of my Sin. Whereas I saw, that Justice would not work for a Sinner, till Sin were removed: yet I saw, Grace might work for it's own Sake and bless my Labours and pardon and heal my Sin for its own Sake; and so make Removal of Sin, not the Cause, but the Effect of it's Working.

August 2. In Prayer my Heart was very desirous of having the Generation to come know, love and fear the Lord; and my Heart was hereupon much enlarg∣ed to set upon Catechising.

I saw also what a sweet Thing it was, not only to have Sinners converted, but to have the Saints edified, and Christ's Work go forward in them; that if it did so, all Things would prosper, even outward Things; whereas else I did fear all our Woes are yet behind.

August 13. I saw [1] that I was worthy to be left to my self and in my Misery and Sin, (1) Not only be∣cause I had sinned; but (2) Because of my very De∣sires to come out of it. For I saw they did arise from Pride; that when I saw how God did not prosper me nor any that did come under my Shadow; and that he left me in the Dark, and hid his Face and Secrets from me; then, when God had cast me down, I would take hold on the Lord and seek to climb up on him, that he might exalt me, and that I might be exalted by being lifted up by him. Whereas I saw it was my Duty, when I was low (1) To be afflicted and mourn, and learn the Bitterness of Sin, and my own Unworthi∣ness. James 4. (2) To be desirous to come out only in Regard of the Lord, that he may be exalted in me and by me. And I did think the Lord set my Heart in such a Frame at that Time. I saw my vile Heart also, that I could be troubled at Sin, when it was cross to me.

[2] I saw my Heart very ready to neglect Prayer for two Causes; (1) From thinking, that I had prayed enough, when I had prayed earnestly and had no more Argu∣ments to use. But I saw that all Prayer was little enough for that End, to help down Mercy. The Lord would have me get Mercy hardly, though all the Friends I had, prayed for me. (2) Because I thought God would hear and forgive Sin and heal my Soul. But

I saw if he did it, I must daily mourn under it and so get Strength against it.

August 15. I saw on the Sabbath four Evils that at∣tend me in my Ministry.

1. The Devil either treads me down by Discourage∣ment and Shame: (1) from the Sense of the Mean∣ness of what I have provided in private Meditations; and to this I saw also an Answer, viz. That every Thing sanctified to do Good, it's Glory is not seen in it's self, but in the Lord's sanctifying of it. Or (2) from an Apprehension of the Unsavoriness of Men's Spirits, and their Unreadiness to hear in hot or cold Seasons. But here I saw, I ought not to be as a Reed shaken with the Wind.

2. Or Carelessness possesseth me: arising (1) Be∣cause I have done well and been enlarged, and have been respected formerly, and hence 'tis no such Matter though I be not always alike. (2) A natural Dulness and Cloudiness of Spirit which doth often prevail.

3. Infirmities and Weakness: (1) Want of Light, (2) Want of Life, (3) Want of a Spirit of Power to deliver what I am affected with for Christ. And hence I saw many Souls not set forward, nor God felt in my Ministry.

4. Want of Success when I have done my best.

I saw these and that I was to be humbled for these, I saw also many other Sins, and how the Lord might be angry. And this Day, in musing thus I saw, that when I saw God angry, I sought to pacify him by ab∣staining from all Sin for Time to come: But then I remembred (1) That my Righteousness could not sa∣tisfie, and that this was resting on my own Righteous∣ness: (2) I saw I could not do it. (3) I saw, Only Christ's Righteousness ready made and already finished, fit for that Purpose—And I saw that God's afflicting me for my Sin was, not that I should go and satisfie by Reforming, but only that I might be humbled and

afflicted for and separated from Sin, being reconciled and made righteous by Faith on Christ, which I saw a little of that Night.

This Day also I found my Heart very untoward and sad, and heavy by musing on many Evils to come. But I saw if I carried four Things in my Mind alway, I should be comforted.

1. That in my self I am a dying condemned Wretch; but by Christ I am reconciled and live.

2. In my self, and all Creatures, finding Insufficiency and no Rest.

3. Feeble and unable to do any Thing my self; but in Christ able to be efficient and to do all Things.

4. Though I enjoyed all these but in Part in this World; yet I should have them all perfectly, shortly in Heaven; where God will shew himself fully recon∣ciled, be alone sufficient and efficient and abolish all Sin, and live in me perfectly.

Aug. 17. I saw my Neglect of my self, Family and others. And I saw the Reason of it was, because the Lord did me Good without Prayer and bless'd all Things to me without it. Hence I saw how just and righteous it was for the Lord to take every outward ordinary Blessing from me, because I might then be obliged to get them and keep them by Prayer; And that the Lord should continually exercise me with great Affliction, that I might hereby pray. And I saw that it was Wisdom for me to pray for all I had, as all Things were taken from me; and to pray for them out of Duty, willingly and not of Necessity to bring God's Purposes to pass by Prayer.

Aug. 21. On Saturday at Even I was praying, and the Lord made himself very precious to me, because I might come to him, have Access in Prayer (1) At any Time, (2) might lay open all my Wants with Plea∣sing to him, (3) with Certainty of speeding. And when I saw that my great Sin did lie in not keeping

the Savour (at least) of the Lord and his Ways, I did thereupon see, (1) that the Remembrance of this Truth would be one Means to maintain it, as it gave it; (2) I saw there is no Wrath like this to be go∣verned by my own Lusts for my own Ends.

Aug. 24. I saw [1] that the Means of being im∣moveable was Sense of God's Sufficiency and Efficiency by Faith. [2] I saw that I was not made immove∣able by resting on my Faith, and the Rest of Faith which sometimes I felt; but by resting on God as only able to support my Faith, and me by it. [3] I saw how exceeding short I fell of that Holiness God re∣quires. And hence I saw the Reason why Men seek after no more Holiness, nor are more holy, is (1) be∣cause they think, they are holy as God would have them, and as other Christians be: They set up their Pitch: Or (2) because of their Impotency and Weak∣ness, and they could do no more than they did. [4] I saw there is great Matter of Humbling, that I am not so holy as I should be; but am infinitely short; but much more, that I am not so holy as I might be through Christ.

August 28, 29. When I came from Preaching, I saw my own Weakness (1) of Body to speak (2) of Light and Affection within, and Enlargement there; and that my weak Mind, Heart and Tongue moved with∣out GOD's special Help. (3) I saw my Weakness to bless what I did. Hereupon I questioned, whether the Lord would ever bless one so impotent, that did my Work without his Power, and sinned so much with such dead, heartless, blind Work: And I feared he would not. But then I considered (1) That God doth shew his Power by the Much-ado of our Weakness to do any Thing. God works not by strong, but weak Things. 1 Cor. 1.21. He makes foolish Things and weak Things and Things that are not, to do his Work; that no Flesh might glory. (2) I saw that if he did so,

then the more weak I was, the more fit was I to be used; and that he could bless his own Ordinance by me. 2 Cor. 12.9. His Power pitcheth his Tents in Weakness. (3) I saw that the Lord (as weak as I am) had blessed my poor Labours; and if he should do it still, Oh how should I give the Glory to him! So my Heart was much affected and did give the Glory of all was ever done by me to God. And I thought I did now begin to do, what I should do for ever in Heaven. And I seeing that by this Way God should be glorified, I began to rejoice, with Paul, in my In∣firmities, and my Heart began to be raised up from sinking under them: Because I thought I was bound to rejoice in God, that by my Weakness he would glorify himself. And I began to see how good it was to acknowledge and not be ashamed of my Weaknesses before others, that they might see the more clearly the Glory of God: Nor to be discouraged with them before, nor after my Work.

Yet here was left one Scruple, How that the Apo∣stle's were filled with the Spirit of Power and Strength in their Work, and so God bless'd as 1 Thess. 1.4? I thought the Apostle's were weak before their Work; but were they so in their Work? Did the Lord by weak Work in and upon them do any Good? So I mourned. For a little before this Time, I observed, Weakness to do Christ's Work, and Shame ever went to∣gether; and that Weakness of Body, and Neglect of Duty went together.

So I prayed that Evening immediately, that the Lord would accept me in Christ's Righteousness, and make me strong and zealous for him and his Name; nay, that Christ himself would be zealous to get him∣self a Name by me, who was but a worthless Instru∣ment in his Hand; and so I rested with some Hope, that he would. And resolved to walk in Sense of my Weakness and Vileness daily before him.

September 5. I was on Sabbath-Day Night secretly swelling against God, that he did not bless my Ministry. But then, remembring my Sins, how I deserved Death eternally, I was soon quieted; and I blessed God ex∣ceedingly for my Life, and that the Lord was not yet gone out of Hearing, but that I might come to him privately, and in extraordinary Duties and pray. So I prayed earnestly for Favour and Love of Christ and God in Christ, and for a Multitude of Mercies. And I prayed so long, until my Heart was made suitable unto Mercy; so as I prized nothing else, but God's Favour, so as my Heart did find Rest there, and was quiet with it; which gave me some sweet Peace. And I began to believe, Mercy was mine, because my Heart was confined to it, and filled with it, and did rest on it, and with it. For I consi∣dered, the Heart of all ungodly Men is ravished and runs out to Creatures and finds Rest there only. And so I fell to blessing God and praying for the Fruits of God's reconciled Love; and among other Things to bless my Ministry. And in doing this a Desire came in, viz. That the Lord would not bless my Words, but his own Word, because 'tis his own. Because I am sure he will bless his own Children and make them Blessings; so I was sure the Lord would bless his own Word, because it is his own.

Sept. 5. I saw in Prayer, that there was none almost that did make Conscience to grow nearer to God one Day than another Day; but left that to God, without much Care.

Sept. 8. I saw the Reason why I did walk no more humbly and holily was, because I did make the Creature something, and did not make God all Things. God is all; He that possesseth him, possesseth something, yea all Things. So long as the Creature is something, that something will stand betwixt God and me, that I shall not walk only in his Sight. This therefore is manify∣ing

of God, to make him All, the Fountain of all Goodness and Excellency!

I saw in my Sleep that Night, that a Christian was to act not only from a natural Power of Grace, which doth act with all its Might where it is; but by a Power supernatural, whereby he attempts Things above his own Might, and bears Evils above his Might. So that now I see a Christian should act for Christ with all his Might and beyond his Might, having the su∣pernatural Power of Christ to help him thereunto.

Sept. 9. I saw the Vileness of Neglect of God in Du∣ties, because the Neglect of Duties is the formalis Ef∣fectus, the proper Effect of lying in my Falls, in my Sins.

I saw on the Fast-Day also, that (1) every Way I looked, there was Matter of Sorrow, in me, about me, Sin against God in Heaven, nay against Christ, nay cross to his Will, his Love, nay his Life: Hence I should mourn. (2) I saw I had no Comforter to go to, when I had thus sinned against the Lord, no Crea∣ture.—

Sept. 13. In my Meditations at Night, I found my Heart desirous to live in this World and do Good here, and not to die. Hence I asked my Heart the Reason why I should not be desirous to die? And in musing on it I saw that Christ was ascended up to Heaven; that so not here, but there all his Elect might one Day be∣hold his Glory and love him and glorify him for ever. And I saw that this was God's main Plot and the End of all, to make Christ very glorious, and so beloved in Heaven for ever, where that which I desired most in this World (viz. that Christ might not only be pre∣cious, but very dear and precious) should be perfectly accomplished: and hereupon I secretly desired this Mercy and desired it for my Child and Brethren and all the Churches; That, though we were blind here, and knew him not, loved him little, yet that this might

be our Portion at last. And I did feel my Desires stirred up after this out of secret Love to Christ Jesus. It would do me good, if he might be at last magnified thus. Then I enquired, what is the great Thing I should desire in this World? And I saw it was the Be∣ginning of that which should be perfected in Heaven; viz. (1) To see and know CHRIST, though obscurely. (2) To take Christ and receive him, and possess him. (3) To love him. (4) To bless him in my Heart, with my Mouth, by my Life. And in this last Clause I saw, that I should study and stand for Discipline and all the Ways of Worship out of Love to Christ, viz. To shew my Thankfulness. And so I saw, I was (1) to seek for to know Christ's Will out of Love (2) To en∣tertain it in Love, when found out (3) To keep it in Love. And so I saw it was my Duty, and ought to be my Care, to keep this very Frame of Heart daily; and I saw it would be glorious.

September 17. On Friday-Night, I wished that Christ would break out in greater Glory to my Child than he had done to my self; which gave me Matter to enquire, whether Christ had appeared to me in Glory, or no? And I saw, that then Christ breaks out in his Glory, when he so shews himself as that he spoils the Creature of all his Glorying, and makes him poor in Spirit, and so to see all his Good in Christ and there into Glory.

Now I saw that Night (1) That all Sin was in me, and all Shame did belong to me. (2) I saw all Good in Christ, and all Glory belonging to him. Here∣upon I was comforted, and hoped the Lord had shewed me his Glory. And I saw an Error in my Heart; for I thought that then Christ appears in his Glory, when he affects the Heart with Wonderment at his Person by some strange Light, and so filled the Soul with glorious Activities of Grace: Whenas I saw, that was the truest sweetest Revelation of Christ's Glory, which did eclipse all my Glory, and laid a

Foundation of glorying only in him. And this I saw was that which is in Isa. 6. I saw my Tongue and Soul unclean, and all Good in him. Yet I saw one Part of Christ's Glory not yet revealed: For though he had so shewn his Glory to me, as to damp all my own personal Glory; yet he had not so shewn me his Glory, as to damp all the Glory of all the Ho∣nour and Pleasure and good Things in this World: which I therefore prayed for; for I saw Honour had a Glory.

September 19. On Sabbath-Day I was at Prayer at Night and I saw my Heart ever and anon ready to cast away my Faith and Confidence, as if it were of my own making. But the Lord let me see, that by Faith only I should apprehend and have God; and hence I saw, if I cast away my Faith, I must cast away my God. Now I felt God very precious, and Christ very precious, and hence my Faith was very precious to me. And I saw it was no Presumption to make God pre∣cious, or to keep him with me.

Octob. 2. On Saturday Night and this Morning I saw, and was much affected with God's Goodness unto me, the least of my Fathers House, to send the Gospel unto me. And I saw what a great Blessing it would be to my Child, if he may have it, that by my Means it comes unto him. And seeing the Glory of this Mercy, the Lord stirred up my Heart to desire the Blessing and Presence of his Ordinances in this Place, and the Continuance of his poor Churches among us, looking on them as Means to preserve and propagate the Gospel. And my Heart was for this End very de∣sirous of Mercy, outward and inward to sustain them, for his own Mercy's Sake. And so I saw, one strong Motive to pray for them, even for Posterity's Sake, rather than in England, where so much Sin and Evil was abounding, and where Children might be polluted.

And I desired to know the Lord better, that I might make him known to this Generation.

Octob. 6. I saw in Prayer, that my great Sin was my continual Separation, Disunion, Distance from God, (not so much this or that particular Sin) lying out in a loose Spirit from God. Hereupon I saw Jesus Christ near me, next unto me, because he comes in as Mediator between God and my Soul. As one in a Pit, a mid Man holds both him below and him above. I saw that none could come into the Chasma, the Breach Sin had made, but he that satisfied Justice, this Media∣tor. Hereupon my Heart was stirred up with Thank∣fulness to lay hold upon this Mediator, Christ Jesus; the Object of Faith being so near unto me, and being of such Worth, as to fill up the Chasma, the Breach; and such Love, as to come so near unto me. I con∣sidered also that Christ was most near unto me by his Word and the Voice of that. Christ between God and me that were distant, the Word between Christ and me, and Faith closing with the Word, between the Word and me: the Word on Christ's Part, Faith on our Part. The Word is nigh thee, Rom. 10. which is the Word of Faith. And hence oppose the Word, and you oppose the Lord where he is, and wherein he is most near. Hence receive the Word and you receive the Lord, wherein he is most near.

Octob. 10. When I saw the Gifts and the Honour at∣tending them in another, viz. T. H, I began to affect such an Excellency. And I saw hereby, that usually in my Ministry I did affect an Excellency, and hence set upon the Work: Whereas the Lord hereupon humbled me for this, by letting me see, this was a di∣abolical Pride. And so the Lord made me thankful in seeing it, and put me in Mind to watch against it.

Octob. 6. I was very sad to behold outward Wants of the Country; and what would become of me and mine, if we should want Cloaths and go naked and

give away all to pay our Debts. Hereupon the Lord set me upon prizing of his Love, and the Lord made my Heart content with it: (1) His Love, though he denied me all Blessings, (2) Hence I desired to know it, (3) To constrain my Heart by it (4) That I might not abuse but Honour it. And there I left my self, and beg'd this Portion for my self, and for my Child, and for the Church; and so left them in the Lord's Bowels.—Now such was the Goodness of Christ, that when I came to hear my Father preach at Boston the Day after, my Soul was settled on the same Way again, when he preached about Contentedness: And so I was confirmed in the Faith: and so I learned how a Christian is confirmed, (1) When he hears the same Thing preached at one Time, or by one Man, confirmed again by another Man, or at another Time; (2) When he learns something privately, and then he hears the same again publickly.

October 9. On Saturday Morning, I was much affected for my Life; that I might live still to seek, that so I might see God, and make known God before my Death. And then I saw, If there was such Thank∣fulness for Deliverance from Misery, would it not be a greater Mercy to be delivered and redeemed from Sin? And I saw that this was a greater Mercy. And hence I saw the Love of Christ in afflicting and trying me with Wants; because by these Trials I came to see my Sin and to have a Heart severed from my Sin. And so I saw, there was no Anger, but Love, nay the greatest Love in this, viz. his redeeming Love from my Sin. Hereupon I learnt three Things; (1) That Soul which felt Sin the greatest Evil, he would be willing, nay glad, if the Lord would redeem him out of it, though by any Misery, Wants, Sorrows, Temp∣tations; (2) When he was delivered, he would be as much thankful as for redeeming him from Hell: (3) He would account this the highest Testimony of God's

Love, by redeeming him out of the greatest Woe. And hence they that take Sanctification as no Sign of Jus∣tification, never truly felt the Evil of Sin.—While I was thus musing in Prayer, I saw, that then my Soul was severed from Sin, indeed, when CHRIST JESUS came to be in my Soul in the Room of my Sin; when he was dear as Sin had been dear; when he did rule as Sin had once ruled me. And I thought this was sweet, if God would do so; and reasonable also, that it should be so; and I began to make the Lord so indeed unto me. And so I learnt this Rule, viz, That if ever I would have any Sin subdued, do not labour to get the Sin subdued only; but get Christ to come in the Room of it; that his Sweetness may be there, Power there, Life there, and to seek then for the contrary Grace from Christ. For (1) It may be long before Christ will come and give the Grace, and so the Soul may lie miserable; but Christ my be then had. (2) At Vocation Christ is given first, and then Sanctification. So in the renewed Conversions of the Saints, 'tis to be so again. (3) Else I seek for Christ's Virtues without Christ:—And cursed be that Soul that is loth to have Christ to be in the Room of a base Lust, to make Christ that to him which a vile Lust once was.

Octob. 16. The Day before the Sacrament, the Lord helped me to call to mind (1) my Neglects, (2) My Wants. [1] My Neglects; (1) Of Du∣ties in private toward my self (2) To my Wife, Child, Family, Church, Companions abroad; not instructing, exhorting, quickning, being an Exam∣ple to them. And the Lord let me see the Cause of all this to be (1) Ignorance; I know not how to speak to them, nor about what. (2) Unsavoriness; not delighting in, but loathing such Ways. (3) Pride; Because I could not do so well as I would, I would not speak what I could. (4) Lukewarmness; in

not being carried out for God's Glory. (5) Idleness and Sluggishness, loth to stir. (6) Love of Study. (7) Want of tender Love. (8) Apprehension of Unfruit∣fulness; in Case I should attempt, I should do no Good, and hence would not sow Seed upon Rocks. And I thought, If this latter should hinder me, why should it not discourage the Lord himself, who had so oft cast his precious Seed upon my Rocks, and lost all? And here I saw, I was ignorant when to speak and how to do, and how much; Yet I saw this, that sup∣pose I had done right, yet that these Principles causing this Neglect were to be lamented, and not indulged, for which End I came to the Lord in the Sacrament. For I saw that good Duties might be done, and some∣times lawfully omitted, and yet both out of ill Principles. And when the ill Principles are healed, I shall then see whether it is my Duty, and how far my Duty reacheth. And this I saw was a Rule of singular Use to know when the Thing was evil, which I think is right and good. I say it is lawful; Be it so; but see if this lawful Thing comes not from an ill Principle. Cure that, and then other Things will follow. So a Man strives for upper Place, and who shall be the greatest: A Man thinks Usury is lawful: Now, say I, mind the Principle whence these come.

[2] I saw my Wants. (1) I did want Knowledge of the Truth and Glory of God's Will in the Scrip∣tures (2) Wisdom to guide others (3) Daily Repen∣tance: The Want of which made the Lord not to pity me, nor to come to me. (4) I was exercised with Horrors and Fears, being in the Dark, and the Lord hid∣ing his Face. (5) Want of a Spirit of Prayer distress'd me; having Words without Affection, which I saw the Perfection of all Misery.—(6) Want of Zeal for God's Glory; but affecting mine own Glory and mine own Excellency, nay the Excellencies of God for that End. (7) Want of Joy in the Lord and in his

Will; but going a whoring after lawful Things. (8) Want of Love in great Measure to others.

I meditated this Night upon CHRIST, and saw (1) That there was a necessity of a Mediator in Regard of God's Truth and Holiness. (2) That this was the Messiah by the Witnesses given of him. (3) I saw not that he was mine, because I saw no Promise absolute of it. But the Lord graciously cleared up to me John 1.12. That they who receive Christ were Sons. (Christ himself, though they had no Promise.) Now to receive Christ I saw was contrary to them that did not own him when he came to his own. (1) They did not acknowledge, This is he. (2) They did not see any Glory in him. (3) They did not embrace him with all their Hearts to be that to them for which End he came; viz. To be King, Prophet and Priest. So I saw what it was to receive him. And upon a fresh Perswasion that this Messiah is he, the Lord gave me to embrace me him with my Affections, as if present; viz. To guide me as a Prophet, to rule me as a King, to take away Sin and Death as a Priest.—Now here I saw two Things, [1] That true Faith was not to guide one's Self, rule and conquer Sin, and obey one's Self; (for this is to make our selves our own Saviours;) But to cleave to Christ that will do all this, nay that he would draw out our Faith of embracing him for this. And hence I saw Neglect of Duty as vile a Sin as actual Sin; because Christ is not so much offended with us for actual Sin, as for not coming to him and clasping about him to take these away. The one, viz. to do the thing is his Work; but to cleave to him is our chief Work.—And I was confirmed, that this is the right Act of Faith; (1) Because Faith is a bare Re∣ceiver; (2) From John 4.10. If thou wouldst ask, he would give. [2] I saw Faith weak and divided, and many Sins would be still in me; that with this Faith there was a Necessity of daily Repentance. This

Repentance, I saw, consisted chiefly in mourning for the Sin which Christ by Faith had not yet removed. Now I saw I was to mourn; (1) For not going to Christ to take away my Sin, which I daily forget; (2) For the Evil of my Sin, (and it's Crossness to him) which he takes not away; (3) For his not taking it away, that I give him Cause to leave me; so (4) As having crucified him. And here I saw I had no Reason to continue in Sin; (1) Because it had wounded Christ; (2) Because Christ died that it might die and not live. And thus my Soul was sweetly stayed upon Christ by Faith this Day, and much comforted.—Yet I saw there might be a Deceit in one Thing, viz. in Reasoning and bringing my Heart to do a Duty by the Power of that; (1) To believe a Truth, not only by Means of Reason, but only upon that Ground, because it agrees to right Reason: as that Christ must suffer, because else God must be false and his Word not true; (2) To do a Duty from the Perswasion of Reason, because it pleaseth me, not because it pleaseth the LORD.

And here I saw, if it was from Reason, the Power of Reason would never carry me against my own Will and my own Ends.

Octob. 18. On Monday Morning, my Child was born. And when my Wife was in Travail, the Lord made me pray that she might be delivered, and the Child given in Mercy, having had some Sense of Mercy the Day before at the Sacrament; and the Lord stayed my Heart there. But I began to think, What if it should not be so, and her Pains be long, and the Lord remember my Sin? and I began to imagine and trouble my Heart with Fear of the worst. And I un∣derstood at that Time, that my Child had been born, and my Wife delivered in Mercy already. Hereupon I saw the Lord's Mercy and my own Folly, to dis∣quiet my Heart with Fear of what never shall be, nor will be; and not rather to submit to the Lord's Will;

and come what can come, to be quiet there. When it was born, I was much affected, and my Heart clave to the Lord who gave it. And Thoughts came in, that this was the Beginning of more Mercy for Time to come. But I questioned, Will the Lord provide for it? And I saw that the Lord had made Man to great Glory, to praise him, and hence would take Care of him. Though sometimes the Lord seemed to make all Men for nought, Psal. 89. Which Place I thus understood: God hath made Man for the Glory of himself, and hence to great Glory; (though he made many for Nought) especially the Church and their Posterity did the Lord make for Glory: And if God did not glorify them, then he seemed indeed to make all Men for Nought; and that when Men are not In∣struments of his Glory, 'tis for Nought.—And I saw God had Blessings for all my Children; and hence I turned them over to God.

Octob. 29. I was much troubled about the Poverty of the Churches; and I saw it was such a Misery as I could not well discern the Cause of, nor see any Way out: Yet I saw we might find out the Cause of any Evil by the Lord's Stroke. Now he struck us in out∣ward Blessings, and hence 'tis a Sign there was our Evil; (1) In not acknowledging all we have from God, Hos. 2.8. (2) In not serving God in the having of them, (3) In making ourselves secure and hard∣hearted: For lawful Blessings are the secret Idols, and do most Hurt: And 'tis then a Sign our greatest Hunt lies in Having, and that the greatest Good lies in God's taking them away from us. Whereupon I considering this, did sweetly content my self that the Lord should take all from us, if it might be not in Wrath, but in Love, viz. hereby to glorify himself the more, and to take away the Fuel of our Sin. I saw that if God's People could be joyfully content to part with all to the Lord, prizing the Gain of a little Holiness

more than enough to overballance all their Losses, that the Lord then would do us Good.

Octob. 31. On Sabbath-Day after Sermon, on my Bed, I saw (1) that my own weak Spirit would not carry me along in my Work. (2) I seeing I wanted Light and Life and Affection, and that I was not a burning and shining Light; I saw this came from the Want of the Spirit of Light and Life. And so I saw I was sensual, wanting the Spirit. Hereupon I did question whether the Lord would accept of such Services. For I read not in Scripture of any Minister, but it was better with him: He was filled with Light, Af∣fection, Perswasion, &c.—I considered hereupon this; [1] The Lord might reject my Services, if they were as good as I could wish; and [2] if therefore he ac∣cepted these of mine, (1) I should magnifie his Grace the more, (2) There would be the more Grace shewn. But I had some Questionings, that the Lord would not honour his Grace on any so vile, but that he would make the Offering more pleasant to him frist. And I saw, if I had never such Expressions, yet if I had not Light and Life within whence they came, (1) It was a Sign the Spirit of Christ was far from me, (2) Far, hereupon, from God's People; which began to afflict my Heart. And hereupon I thought to lie down in Sense of my Vileness, and condemn my self and others for such Hypocrisy, and wait for the Spirit, the Comforter which God is able to give &c.

Only I considered, that Sincerity of a Duty lies as much in Mortification, seeing the Evil of it, as Vivifi∣cation, doing it with Life.

Nov. 3. On a Fast-Day at Night, in Preparation for the Duty, the Lord made me sensible of these Sins in the Churches; (1) Ignorance of themselves, because of secret Evils; (2) Ignorance of God, because most Men were full of dark and doubtful Consciences; (3) Not cleaving to Christ dearly, only; (4) Neglect of

Duties, because of our Place of Security; (5) Standing against all Means, because we grow not better; (6) Earthliness, because we long not to be with Christ. And I saw Sin as my greatest Evil; ***** I was vile, but God was good only, whom my Sins did cross. And I saw what Cause I had to loath my self, and not to seek Honour to my self. Will any desire his Dung∣hill to be commended? Will he be grieved if it be not? So my Heart began to fall off from seeking Ho∣nour.—The Lord also gave me some Glimpse of my self: and a good Day and Time it was to me.

Novemb. 4. On the End of the Fast I (1) went to God, and rested on him as sufficient; (2) waited on him as efficient, and said,

Now, Lord, do for thy Churches, and help in Mercy.

In the Beginning of this Day I began to consider, whether all the Country did not fare the worse for my Sins; and I saw it was so. And this was an hum∣bling Thought to me: And I thought, if every one in particular did think so, and was humbled, it would do well.—I saw also that if Repentance turn away Judgments, then if the Question be, who they are that bring Judgments? The Answer would be, They that think their Sins so small, as that God is not angry with them at all.

Novemb. 1. When I was walking to Roxbury alone, I saw it was God alone who gave me a natural Life: And I turned the Thought into a Prayer,

Oh that I had a spiritual Life; that is but for a Time, this for ever.

Novemb. 7. On Sabbath, on my Bed after Sermon, I examin'd my Heart about this Question, viz. In whose Name I had preached, and in whose Strength I had done this Work to Day? And I saw that five Things did strengthen me, or which I went in the Strength of; (1) My natural Strength: My Body is pretty strong; and hence I went upon the Strength of that; (2) The

Strength and Power of external Necessity; the Work must be done, and hence I went upon this; (3) The Strength of external Encouragement; as Acceptance with others, and Favour from others; (4) The Strength of spiritual Affection some time, and received Grace; and hence I have sought for it: (5) The Strength of Faith if self, or resting to my Hold of Christ, rather than on his Hold of me. And here I saw three Things; (1) That if I did thus, God would curse me, because now I made Flesh my Arm, Jer. 17.6. And this affected me. Grace if self was but Flesh in Respect of God: (2) Here I saw the common and great Sin of all Men in their Ways and Acts: They do trust to themselves, and stay in themselves, and have some Bottom to stand upon beside God, when they come to act: (3) I saw the admirable strange Operation of Faith, that nullifies all Things, even it self, that God may act. It's a Faith under, or stirring under Faith, that doth the Deed. A Christian by it goes, not only out of himself; but out of his Faith: (4) Hence I saw, how near to God Faith made a Christian; raising it above Man, out of Man, out of himself, to God: That the Deity doth as it were im∣mediately act upon the Soul, when it is thus elevated and lift out of it self.—Now here arose a Question [1] What of God doth Faith raise it to? I saw it was (1) To God as sufficient (1) In Father (2) In Son (3) In Holy Ghost; And there Faith stays: [2] To God as efficient. And on such a God, and such Strength of a God it stays. A [2d.] Question was; Whether Faith rests on the Lord's Efficiency immediately, or medi∣ately? I answered both Ways. But (1) mediately (1) To God in a Command. For God's Commands give Strength. Josh. 1. (2) To God in a Promise: For a Promise gives Strength. (2) Immediately, to all that hidden, infinite Efficacy and Power it sees in God, and believes to be there. For some time it sees neither

to rest on: Now it looks to him, that he may look to it, and do for it abundantly—And beside, there needs immediate, omnipotent Efficacy in God's Command and Promise: And hence it must rest on this, else they are useless.

Novemb. 10. I kept a private Fast for Light to see the Glory of God's Truth and Faith, an infused Faith, and a Spirit of Prayer, and for Conquest of Pride; and for Assistance and Aceptance and Guidance, (whether I should set up Lecture again) and for Success and Blessing in my poor Ministry, that so I might declare and manifest God's Name, and leave his Truth and so himself, and so his Mercy in the Country; As also for outward Supplies for the Country. And I saw no par∣ticular Man could be comfortably provided for, but by some special Mercy to the Common State. And hence I saw God called for Prayer, not so much for our selves, as the Common. And I saw the common State of the Country did lie upon me and every one in particular, to seek God for, viz. That he would build up our Zion and prosper the Vine his own Hand hath planted; and that in this New World we might find the New Heavens and the New Earth; as also for Pardon.

Over Night I did question, whether the Lord did call me to Him in such a Day? And I saw, the Lord cal∣led upon Scorners to turn at Wisdom's Reproof, and to dig for Wisdom. And on the Morning betimes in Prayer, the Lord let me see, he called me unto him: "Come and seek and seek with all thy Heart." And this came fresh and clear to me, and did much affect my Heart, to think that the Lord should call unto me, as he did call Abraham to follow him. And here I began to have some Light let in about effect∣ual Calling; And I saw these Things about it: [1] I saw the first Act of Calling was by the Com∣mand of God in his Word: [2] That it was by the Word of the Gospel, or Command of the Gospel,

"Come unto me, Return to me!" [3] I saw the Lord did this effectually; (1) By letting in a Light, clearly to see that he called me in particular, (2) By letting in the Goodness and Sweetness of the Com∣mand, as well as the Truth of it: [4] This Goodness and Sweetness of the Command I saw in two Things! (1) In Regard of the great Love of God in the Com∣mand, for a poor Sinner, thinking God cares not for it, and hence would not have it come to him, being so vile: O, the Command, which saith, Yet return, and seek, and come, is exceeding sweet Love; (2) In Re∣gard of the End of the Command, which was Fellow∣ship with himself, that he may be all and do all: This was sweet: [5] I saw, this was not only by a Com∣mand, though firstly, so, but nextly by his Promise: And this Promise I saw was not to be seen but in the Word: And I saw all Things promised to such a one as comes. And hence I saw, I had no need of search∣ing God's Election as I did begin to do in the Morning, whether he loves me, or no: For I saw (1) God the Father's Favour promised; "Re∣turn, and I'll return to you! 2 Chron. 32. (2) I saw Christ promised; for we are called to his Fellowship, and are bid to take him: Isai. 55.1, 2. (3) The Spirit promised, Prov. 1. Return, Scorners, and I'll pour out my Spirit on you (4) Abo∣lishing all Sin and Punishments of Sin, Jer. 3.22, 23. (5) Perseverance promised, John 6.37. I'll in no wise cast out.

In the Beginning of the 2d Prayer I saw there was a God, for I saw Things had a Being; hence they must have this Being from themselves, or something else: But those poor Creatures the Moon and Stars could not give Being to themselves.

I saw also, how I had embraced the Lust of the Flesh, the Lust of the Eyes, and the Pride of Life, a long Time. And hence I saw it was not only just and righteous that

the Lord should deny to hear my Prayers, but that it was Mercy he would do so: For what greater Judgment, than to please a Lust, and leave me to it?

I saw also the Pride of my Heart in one Thing more, I saw not before; viz. in setting upon Preaching out of an Apprehension of the Excellency of what I de∣livered above others, and that these Truths that came from me were choice and excellent and to be received with high Esteem. For, were it not for such a foolish Conceit, I should think my Ministry less and worse than any Man's else, and should hang down my Head in a Hole and not lift it up to speak; which did hum∣ble me, and shew me my Vanity, and that my Duty was to be carried on, not by such a Principle: But (1) Because it was God's sweet Truth I did deliver: (2) Because it was God's Command I should deliver it: (3) That it was for the sake of the Lord and his Name, wherefore I did so. And here I saw the Lord begin as it were to refine me.

I concluded this Day [1] with some Measure of Faith; for after Prayer, I left all I pray'd for unto God's rich free Grace. And hence I saw (1) That the Lord did take Pleasure in such as hope in his Mer∣cy; (2) That whatsoever I, or any had pray'd for, God had promised, and therefore purposed to give; and thence I might quiet my Heart about God's se∣cret Purpose: [2] With Resolution; (1) Whatever God should give me, to attribute it unto Grace; (2) To walk in a Way of Holiness for the Future.

I saw also that my Heart was ready to think, I have prayed enough after such a Day and such Hopes. But I saw (1) That though God purposeth Mercy, yet he withal intendeth the Decree shall bring forth by Pray∣er: (2) He will therefore have us pray till the Thing be granted: (3) When the Decree hath begun to bring forth, I saw that all the Degrees of Mercy arise by several Degrees of Prayer: As when Faith is begun,

but 'tis imperfect, Prayer must be continued still for all the rest; as the chap'd Ground opens still wider and wider, till Rain fall.

Nov. 13. I was considering the State of the Country by Reason of its Poverty. I had two Arguments sug∣gested to make me hope the Lord would relieve us—

1. Because, if the Lord had given himself for his People to redeem them from the greatest Sin of the World; then from out of those Sins by which our Distresses are occasioned now: (2) Because we are a poor afflicted People, cast out of our own Country from our Friends and Comforts there; and all our Sorrows and Suffering here are in Part by Reason of their Cru∣elty and Persecution; and that therefore the Lord will deliver, if we sought. O Lord, remember my Sighs!

Nov. 13. I saw a little of God, and saw that it was my Duty to make him superior, and set him up in his Highness above all others in my Mind and Eye: and I saw I had (1) Cause of Wondring at my Carriage to∣ward him, that he being so high, I should neglect him; (2) I saw I had therefore sinned against him, because I had set up my Self, or Sin, or Men above the Lord: (3) I saw, that in this did appear one special Branch of the Evil of Sin, because the Breach of God's Law did ever arise from the Contempt of the Lord's Person and Despising of him and his Glory, in preferring vile Things in Comparison before him; and hence I slight∣ed his Will: (4) I saw I had Reason to resolve that as I had despised God and set up other Things and ser∣ved them; so to despise my self and the Presence of all Men in comparison of him: (5) The Lord made me that Night lie down and be humbled in my self, and exalt the Lord with some Desires.

Now. 14. On the Sabbath Day at Night after Ser∣mon, I saw I had preach'd to others, but had not feed my self. And I seeing it did arise from Weakness of

Faith and Light, the Lord suggested the 103 Psalm to me—He heals all thine Infirmities, which quiet 〈◊〉〈◊〉 my Soul somewhat.

Nov. 15. On my Bed in the Morning I tried my Heart, and asked, What would bear it out, if the Lord should call me to preach at the Lecture Season again? And I found three Things; (1) My End was to honour Christ Jesus, and leave his Truth behind me: (2) My Principle was Christ, in whom I trusted: For this com∣forted me against the Feeling of my Inability; I saw there was an unknown Fulness of the Spirit and Strength in Christ, and that I was not to go out in the Strength of my own Abilities though received from Christ, but in the Strength and Help of Christ himself: (3) Though what I should do thus from Christ, for Christ, was mean and poor; yet it should quiet me that it was the Measure the Lord saw most meet for me, and if I could do better, I would: (4) That if the Lord did not give Success to me, yet I would mourn for God's People and my own Unworthiness, and quiet my self, that I did my Duty.

Nov. 16. I felt my Heart very unsavoury, and I saw my Soul nothing but Sin and Sorrow, Death and Darkness, and in a Manner, as good as in Hell. And so I saw then, that nothing but free Grace could help me out; and there I did hang, and did prize this Grace therefore. But I did question, It may resuse to help because 'tis free. But I saw it is the Pleasure of God's Grace to help all that pray'd for it and came for it to Grace. And I saw herein was Part of God's good Pleasure, to hear every Prayer, and I should look upon no other Secrets but this revealed Will of Christ: And so I purposed ever to lie here. And I saw, De∣pendance upon Grace for all, ever supposeth a deep Abasement of Soul under a Sense of Unworthiness.

Novemb. 18. As I was going down my Stairs, I thought, If Paul did so desire the Good of the Israelites,

his Country Men, his Enemies, that opposed him, that he could wish himself Anathema for them; much more should I earnestly desire the Good of their Souls, who had under God committed themselves to my Care and Charge. And so I left them to God's free Grace to provide for them. And at Night I had Doubts, whe∣ther the Lord would regard them, or no, though I did resign them up to him. But it came to my Mind, that if God was an Idol God, then I might give them to him in vain; but it was not so. And hence I had very sweet Perswasion that Night, that my Work herein was not despised of the Lord.

Novemb. 21. On Sabbath Day after Preaching, I considered my Vileness, that I did not see Things by the Lord's Light, nor was perswaded by the Lord's Faith, not quickned nor strengthened by the Lord's Life and Strength. So I demanded a Reason, why the Lord Jesus did not only, not outwardly help, but not in∣wardly act? I saw the Lord was not in me, hence did not work in me. I asked then, Why he was not in me? I saw my Sin had separated him from me: Yet I saw no Sin could separate if Unbelief was not ad∣ded. If I returned by Faith, he would return to me. Then being ready to come, and yet seeing God's Grace only could draw me; I demanded, Whether I should put this Honour on God's Grace to draw me, or take it to my self, in coming by my own Strength? So I left my Soul with God's free Grace. Yet I saw that though Christ did not act in me in the same Mea∣sure as in Paul, who said Christ did live in him: yet I saw he did act in some Measure, though little: (1) Because I did desire the Lord to act all (2) Because I mourned for want of this, and loathed my self for what I did: (3) Because I did rejoice if the Lord would act me. And the next Morning I saw the Truth of this in Paul's Example, 2 Cor. 12. by the Thorn in the Flesh, to whom the Lord said, My Grace, in pardoning,

accepting, is sufficient for thee, without thy Enlarge∣ments and holy Affections.

Novemb. 22. I saw the Lord, and by Faith did ap∣prehend Christ's Righteousness; and did see that I was to make Use of Christ's Righteousness apprehended by Faith, not only for Satisfaction to Justice, but also to take it as an Evidence, unspotted, of the Lord's Love towards me, to beget Peace in me. I saw I had a long Time made use of it for Satisfaction, but not for Evidence, and so for Peace. For I saw when I had done, and the Lord had enabled me to do this and do that, then my Conscience was at Peace, and got Peace in that? But when I wanted that, and appre∣hended Christ's Righteousness by Faith, all that which he hath done perfectly, I did not there find Peace to my Conscience, as having an Evidence of the Lord's Favour and Acceptance. Whenas I saw that if any Thing I did by the Help of the Spirit might give me Evidence; then much more all that which Christ did, and had done perfectly ought to give me Peace, and be an Evidence, not only of God's Favour to me, but of that Grace I want; (the want of which made me doubt of the Lord's Love) because all that Faith and Holiness in Christ is by Faith made mine; and it is as if I had done it. For I saw, if I had perfect Ho∣liness in me, I should not doubt of the Lord's Love to me; Why now, when I see I have it in Christ by Faith? So I saw a threefold Use of Faith in Christ's Righteousness:

• 1. For Satisfaction to Divine Justice, and making me righteous;
• 2. For Evidence of God's Favour to me;
• 3. For the Honour of God, because by that I honour God infinitely.

Novemb. 24. I felt over Night much Darkness and Unbelief; and saw, that if Satan had once made us begin to doubt, he would hold us with Doubts con∣tinually,

about the Being of God and Truth of the Scriptures. And I saw the next Morning this Error; viz. That I did believe what the Lord spake, because I saw it agreeable to my Reason, and so made that my last Resolution of all Doubts. And I began to think, how it should be otherwise? So I saw I was in∣deed to see the Things God spake, in the Reality of them, and in their Agreement with Reason, but not to make this the last Resolution of Doubts, though a Resolution. But then, when I had seen Things so a∣greeable to Reason, yet to look upon God's Testimony of them in Scripture as the last and chief Light and Ground of Settlement; and not to believe these Things are true, because I see they are true, but to believe, the Lord sees them more clearly than I: and he knowing them to be so, I see them so, and believe them upon his Testimony, much more: For if I be∣lieve any Thing to be true, because I see it so; much more because God saith it, who sees it better, and whose Word stakes me down, and confirms me in it.

Decemb. 4.—I felt a wonderful Cloud of Darkness and Atheism over my Head, and Unbelief, and my Weak∣ness to see or believe God. But I saw that the Lord's Ends might be these three.

(1) By withdrawing the Spirit of Light, to give me a greater Measure of it than ever I have had before; to give me a greater Fulness by praying for more; (2) To humble me for my Confidence in my Light and Knowledge past; and in speaking so much with so little Light, who knew so little; (3) To heal this Wound of secret Atheism and Unbelief, which was but skin'd over before. I saw all this was infinite Love and Mercy: Yet I saw this Condition was a deep and deadly Misery; and I saw, I should be vile indeed, if I did not mourn bitterly under it: For if I was on∣ly under the Misery of Affliction, the Lord would be displeased and count himself neglected, if I did not cry;

much more if I should not cry under the Power of my Sins.—This was on Saturday Night.

I also saw a vast Difference between knowing Things by Reason and Discourse, and by Faith, or the Spirit of Faith. For by Discourse, (1) I saw that a Thing was so. A Man's Discourse about spiritual Things is like a Philosopher's Discourse about the inward Forms of Things, which they see not, yet see that they be; but by the Light of the Spirit of Faith I see the Thing pre∣sented, as it is. I have seen a God by Reason, and never been amazed at God thus apprehended; But I have seen God himself, and been ravished to behold him. And here I saw, what the Meaning of Christ's Speech is John. 14. The World knows not the Spirit, and hence cannot receive him; viz. That 'tis such a Spirit, as gives such Glimpses of God's Glory, and of Christ, as though it departs, yet they know it so good, as that they long for it again, because they know it. And here I saw the Meaning of that in Job, There is a Spirit in Man, that is, Reason; but the Inspiration of the Almighty gives Understanding, that is, this Spirit of Faith.

Decemb. 9. On Thursday Morning in my Bed, after my Wednesday's Sermon, (1) I saw the Pride of my Heart acting thus; That when I had done publick Work, my Heart would presently look out and enquire wherein I had done well or ill. And I saw, I rejoiced in that as well done, which pleased Man; and that as done amiss, which might not be so glorious in the Eyes of Man. Hereupon I saw my Vileness, to make Men's Opinions my Rule; but then I saw my Rule to be this, viz. To see what good I had done, and give the Lord the Glory; and to consider, what Sin I had commit∣ted, and to mourn for that. (2) Here I saw a De∣ceipt; viz. To preach and pray, to stir up spiritual Affections, because I saw it did beget Commendations; hence preach'd Terror and Comfort (though false) to beget Affection. I saw also, upon Enlargements, I

was apt to be somewhat in mine own Eyes, whereas my Rule is, to be more vile than any Man in my own Eyes, and that daily.

Decemb. 10. I began to be troubled for my Sin of Pas∣sion: but I saw my Heart did work thus; (1) It was troubled for the Shame and Horror of Sin; (2) purpos∣ed; (3) went to Christ for Strength that I might do so no more, and so was quieted. Whereas I saw it was my Duty, (1) To get my Soul deeply loaden with the Sin, as Sin; (2) To come unto Christ, and get his Blood to give me Peace unspeakable. Now in musing on this, I saw how little Repentance there was in the World, and how many Sins I had still to repent of. For I saw that most Men had their Peace after Sin, either by Forgetfulness of it wholly, and so had their Sorrows now and then; or else they did but skin over their Wound with some general Hope of Mercy and Grace, without sweet Peace in Christ's Blood. And hence my Heart was very glad for this Light, in see∣ing this general Wound.

I saw here also the Reason why Men given to Passion are so frequently overcome by it; because of all other Sins they have many secret Excuses and Extenuations for it; as the Suddenness of it, and 'tis that I delight not in, and my Heart is sad for it afterward, and godly Men may fall into it.

I saw also, there was all Reason why I should cleave to the Lord: 1. Because all my Good was from him in Times of Peace: 2. Because he was my only Sup∣port in Time of Trouble: 3. He alone was sufficient, when after Life all Troubles should end: 4. I began to see, how good his Will was in all, and that even when it crossed me, I should be pleased with it.

I also began to feel God in Fire, Meat, every Provi∣dence; and that God's many Providences and Creatures are but his Hands and Fingers, whereby he takes Hold of me &c.

Decemb. 11. On Saturday at Night, I was stirr'd up to pray for the Spirit: Not only for particular Graces of it, but for the Spirit it self. The Ground of this my Prayer was;

(1) Because I felt an Absence of the Spirit exceeding much. I found I was sensual and carnal, and carried and acted by my own Spirit in every Thing, However I felt a little of God's Spirit smoaking forth in some weak Desires after it; I felt not the Power of it, accord∣ing as Paul did bound by it, led with it. Acts 1. Power from on high: (2) Because I saw this the next and surest Way to have all the Graces of the Spirit; to have all the Impressions of this Seal, by having the Seal it self. Whereas, if I wrought for one particular Grace without this, it was far about: (3) Because the Spirit can heal, help, quicken, humble, suddenly, and easily; Whereas otherwise I may be long before I can see: (4) Because it works Grace and Life effectually. My own Spirit, and Light, and Affection may deceive me when they act; but this cannot: (5) Because it works Grace eternally, as it self is eternal.

I also here saw two great Hindrances for me in getting this Spirit: (1) I contented my self with a little Mea∣sure of it, and so set down: (2) I thought God would not give more, and hence I ought to rest without seeking after more.

Here also fell in two Questions. [1] Quest. Whether, when a Christian feels a Want of the Light of Life and Faith of the Spirit; he should only humble himself for the Want of them, and do nothing in way of Meditation and stirring up his Heart to see and do, or stir up that Ability he had to see and live and do? For I saw this, that when a Man finds a Loss of God, either he is wholly in the Dark and cannot see him; or else Satan and his own natural Abilities will be working and casting in Light, that so a Man might be contented with that and seek no farther for the Spirit of Light, nor feel

such a Need of it: Satan and Nature by their Work will prevent the Lord's.

Answ. To this I saw (1) that the Scripture bids me meditate and use all Means for the Spirit, and therefore not to confine my self to that one Means only, of being humbled for the Want of the Spirit: (2) That the Rule here is; We must use all Means, but trust to the Spirit to give a Blessing by them, depend only, and wait only for the Light of God in the Use of Means.

2. Quest. Whether it was a Duty, or an Error, to pray and look for the Fulness of the Spirit in me, with∣out coming by Faith out of my self, and so finding and feeling the Fulness of the Spirit out of me in Christ? And whether I might not be mistaken, and think I was empty of the Spirit, because I did not feel it in me, when haply of the Time when I am most empty, I might be most full, by Faith in Christ? And whether the Fulness of the Spirit in the Apostles was not chiefly a Power of the Spirit, giving them a Subsistence out of themselves in Christ, in whom their Life and Joy was; seeing that Paul oft complains of his Sin and Insufficiency and Ina∣bility to think or speak?

Answ. Here I saw these Things; (1) That Christ had all Fulness, and so all Fulness of the Spirit: (2) That all that Fulness which I did want in my self was in Christ, for his People, not for himself. He had per∣fect Knowledge and Grace and Righteousness; not only that by it he might vertually make me see and be righteous; but that it might be mine: (3) I saw it my Duty therefore, out of Sense of my Emptiness, to go unto Christ and possess and enjoy all that Fulness that is in him, as mine own; and to be as much filled with that, and to rejoice as much in that, as if I had it in my self, because it is for me in Christ, and my own there: (4) I saw when I did thus, then I was full of the Spirit: and that I was now as a Fish that is got from the Shore to the Sea, where it hath all Fulness

of Waters to move in: And so I saw, Faith did first fill me, and should first fill me: When I was most empty, then by Faith I was most full: (5) I saw this was the Way to be filled with the Spirit, to my feeling within me. Stephen was full of Faith, and then of the Holy Ghost: (1) Because this made me most empty, and so most fit for the Spirit to work in: (2) Because this Finding of the Treasure of all Grace in this Field of Christ did be∣get Strength, Joy, Glory, and so made Graces alive: (3) Because I should glory more in what I receive from Christ, than in that Fulness which is in Christ, the Foun∣tain of all his Glory and my Good and Glory, if I should first receive the Spirit from him, without finding, and filling and drinking in of that Spirit which is in him: (6) I saw a Need for the Lord to this End to do two Things; (1) To stablish me in Christ, and settle me there, and give me a Being there; (2) To give me a Certainty, that all this was mine; for I saw, this only would fill my Heart and Soul.

The Conclusion of all was, I was resolved to pray for the Spirit, and not to give the Lord over for it.

Dec. 18. I saw it my Duty so to lament my Sin, as that my Sorrow should swallow up all the Joy I took in any Thing in this World. And here I remembred what it was to afflict one's Soul; viz. To make Sin as bitter as Affliction, and to make it my Affliction.

Dec. 20. I saw my Evil, (1) That I had much ado to see my Sin; (2) But much more difficult was it to mourn for it, as my Death, and to be in Travail with it, and in Pangs and Sorrows for it, that I might be de∣livered out of it.

I saw also on the Sabbath, viz. the Day before, Dec. 20, How my Heart gathered Evil in every Place, as Psal. 57. And it gathered, either, (1) Carnal Con∣tent, or (2) Discontent, by striking upon external Objects.

Dec. 21. I saw that Man was an infinite kind of Evil,

when he is cross'd; as in Hell, there he blasphemes be∣cause cross'd. And hence Men's Sins lie hid, because not cross'd.

I saw also the Deceit of Man's Heart; which when it is very bad, then it begins to seek to be very good; if it have and feel any Good, it grows full and lifted up and loose.

Dec. 27. God humbled me in some Measure, (1) Making me see, how I deserved Death, and nothing but eternal Death; and that it belonged to me as my Due, which made me wonder I had any Mercy; (2) Making me desirous to feel Sin the greatest Evil, and to prize deliverance from it, as out of Hell.

I saw also, (1) How miserable I was, If I had no Favour; (2) How precious his Favour was; (3) How exceeding precious Christ was, by whom I came to have all Favour; and how precious his Blood was, so as I desired to rejoice in nothing, but in Christ.

FINIS.

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A Present for an Apprentice: Or, a sure Guide to gain both Esteem and Estate; with Rules for his Conduct to his Master, and in the World. By a late LORD MAYOR of London.

A SUMMARY, Historical and Political, Of the first Planting, progressive Improvements, and present State of the BRITISH Settlements in NORTH-AMERICA: with some transient Accounts of the Bordering FRENCH and SPANISH Settlements. By W. D. M. D.

N. B. All Persons who are inclined to have a cer∣tain Acquaintance with the History of their own Coun∣try, must necessarily be profited and delighted with the aforesaid Work; which for the Ease of the Printer, and not to be burdensome to the Reader, is carried on in Numbers, a Method common in England. Thirteen Numbers are already printed off (with suitable Covers) of about 16 Pages each, on good Paper, at two Shillings old Tenor each Number.— And now the Winter Evenings are coming on, this Work may be very useful and enter∣taining to Farmers and Gentlemen in the Country, who we presume will learn more by one of these little Pieces, with regard to Indian Wars and Peace, the Number of Indians formerly, and at this Time in the Land, their Situation and Circumstances; and all other Matters so far as relates to a compleat History of America; than by many Hours, we may say, a whole Winter's Con∣versation with some who pretend to tell Indian Stories and the Affairs of our Fore Fathers.

A Vindication of Gospel Truth, And Refutation of some dangerous Errors, In Relation to that impor∣tant QUESTION, Whether there be PROMISES of the Bestowment of special Grace, made in Scripture to the UNREGENERATE, on Condition of any Endeavour, Striv∣ings, or Doings of theirs whatsoever? Containing A Reply to what the Author of a late LETTER from Aristocles to Authades, has offer'd on the Affirmative Side of the Question, with a View to invalidate the Ar∣guments advanc'd by the Rev. Mr. COOKE (of STRAT∣FIELD) in his printed Sermon in Favour of the Nega∣tive. Done in a Letter To the Rev. Dr. SAMUEL JOHN∣SON, Episcopal Missionary at STRATFORD. By JE∣DIDIAH MILLS, A. M. Pastor of a Church at Ripton in STRATFORD.