The defence of conny catching. Or A confutation of those two iniurious pamphlets published by R.G. against the practitioners of many nimble-witted and mysticall sciences. By Cuthbert Cunny-catcher, licentiate in Whittington Colledge.

To all my good frends health.

AS Plato (my good friendes) trauelled from Athens to Aegypt, and from thence through sundry clymes to increase his knowledge: so I as desirous as hee to search the deapth of those liberall Artes wherein I was a pro∣fessour, lefte my studie in Whittington Colledge,* 1.1 & tra∣ced the country to grow famous in my facultie, so that I was so expert in the Art of Cony-catching by my con∣tinuall practise, that that learned Philosopher Iacke Cuttes, whose deepe insight into this science had drawn him thrise through euery gaole in England, meeting of mee at Maidstone, gaue mee the bucklers, as the subtle∣lest that euer he sawe in that quaint and mysticall forme of Foolosophie: for if euer I brought my Conny but to crush a potte of ale with mee, I was as sure of all the crownes in his purse, as if hee had conueyed them into my proper possession by a deede of gifte with his owne hande.

At Dequor,* 1.2 Mumchaunce, Catch-dolt, Oure le bourse, Non est possible, Dutch Noddie, or Irish one and thirtie, none durst euer make compare with me for excellence: but as so many heades so many wits, so some that would

not stoope a farthing at cardes,* 1.3 would venter all the byte in their boung at dice. Therefore had I cheates for the very sise, of the squariers, langrets, gourds, stoppe∣dice, high-men, low-men, and dice barde for all ad∣uauntages: that if I fetcht in anie nouyce eyther at ta∣bles, or anie other game of hazard, I would bee sure to strippe him of all that his purse had in Esse, or his credyt in Posse, ere the simple Connie and I parted.

When neyther of these would serue, I had consorts that could verse, nippe, and foyst, so that I had a super∣ficiall sight into euery profitable facultie. Insomuch that my principles grew authenticall, and I so famous, that had I not beene crost by those two pe••uish Pam∣phlets, I might at the nexte Midsommer haue worne Doctor Stories cappe for a fauor. For I trauelled almost throughout all England, admired for my ingenious ca∣pacitie: till comming about Exceter, I began to exer∣cise my art, and drawing in a Tanner for a tame Conie, assoone as he had lost two shillings he made this replie. Sirha,* 1.4 although you haue a liuery on your backe, and a cognisance to countenance you withall, and beare the port of a Gentleman, yet I see you are a false knaue and a Conny-catcher, and this your companion your setter, and that before you and I part Ile proue.

At these wordes Conny-catcher and Setter, I was driuen into as great a maze, as if one had dropt out of the clowds, to heare a pesant cant the wordes of art be∣lōging to our trade: yet I set a good face on the matter and asked him what he ment by Cony-catching. Marry (q. he) althogh it is your practise, yet I haue for 3. pence bought a litle Pamphlet, that hath taught me to smoke such a couple of knaues as you be. When I heard him talke of smoaking, my heart waxed cold, and I began to gather into him gently. No no sir (q. he) you cānot verse vpon me, this booke hath taught me to beware of cros∣biting:

And so to be breefe he vsed me curteously, and that night causd the Constable to lodge mee in prison, & the nexte morning I was carried before the Iustice, where likewise he had this cursed book of Cony catch∣ing, so that hee could tel the secretes of mine art better then my selfe: whereupon after strict examination I was sent to the gaole, & at the Sessions by good hap & some friend that my money procured mee, I was deliuered. Assoone as I was at liberty, I got one of these bookes, & began to tosse it ouer very deuoutly, wherin I found one art so perfectly anotomized, as if he had bene prac∣titioner in our facultie forty winters before: then with a deepe sigh I began to curse this R. G. that had made a publike spoyle of so noble a science, and to exclaime a∣gainst that palpable asse whosoeuer, that would make any pe••-man priuy to our secret sciences. But see the sequel, I smoothered my sorrowe in silence, and away I trudged out of Deuonshire, & went towards Cornwal, & comming to a simple Ale-house to lodge, I found at a square table hard by the fire halfe a doozen countrie Farmars at cardes. The sight of these penny-fathers at play, draue me straight into a pleasant p••ssion, to blesse fortune that had offred such sweet opportunity to ex∣ercise my wits, & fil my purse with crowns: for I coūted all the mony they had, mine by proper interest. As thus I stood looking on them playing at cros-ruffe, one was taken reuoking, whereat the other said; what neighbour wil you play the cony-catcher with vs? no no, wee haue read the booke as wel as you. Neuer went a cup of small beare so sorowfully down an Ale-knights belly in a fro∣sty morning, as that word stroke to my hart, so that for feare of trouble I was fain to ••ry my good hap a•• square play, at which fortune fauoring mee▪ I wan twenty 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and yet doe as simply as I could, I was not onelie suspected, but called Conny-catcher and crosse-biter.

But away I went with the money, and came pre∣sently to London, where I no sooner arriued amongst the crue, but I heard of a second parte worse then the first, which draue mee into such a great choller, that I began to enquire what this R. G. should bee. At last I learned that hee was a scholler, and a Maister of Artes, and a Conny-catcher in his kinde, though not at cards, and one that fauoured good fellowes, so they were not palpable offendors in such desperate lawes: wherevp∣pon reading his bookes, and surueying euery line with deepe iudgement, I began to note folly in the man, that would straine a Gnat, and lette passe an Elephant: that would touch small scapes, and lette grosse faultes passe without any reprehension. Insomuch that I resolued to make an Apologie, and to aunswere his libellous in∣uectiues, and to proue that we Conny-catchers are like little flies in the grasse, which liue: or little leaues and doe no more harme: whereas there bee in Englande other professions that bee great Conny-catchers and caterpillers, that make barraine the field wherein they baite.

Therfore all my good friends vouch of my paines, and pray for my proceedings, for I meane to haue about with this R. G. and to giue him such a veny, that he shalbe afrayd heereafter to disparage that mysticall science of Conny-catching: if not, and that I proue too weake for him in sophistrie, I meane to borrowe Wili Bickertons blade, of as good a temper as Mo••glay King Arthures sword was, and so ch••llenge him to the single combat: But desirous to ende the quarrell with the penne if it be possible, heare what I haue learned in Whittington Colledge,

Yours in cardes and dice Cuthbert cony-catcher.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Newgate builded by one Wit∣tington
• * 1.2

  〈…〉〈…〉
• * 1.3

  Al the mo∣nie in their purse.
• * 1.4

  So••e Co∣nicatchers dare weare noblemens liueryes, as W. Bicker∣ton and o∣thers.